#Guy struggling with humanity meets guy who used to be human now monstrous

[thevoidperceiving]

Fanart for @cynthplop and their amazing Darkest Dungeon oc, Robin, featuring my own oc Alaric! This was very fun to draw and I'll certainly have to draw em both again soon. Alt colors below.

[patolemus]

Sterek fic recs: ABO/Mpreg AU Edition

As per @oldefashioned's request, since this is for her, here you go. I tried to filter my bookmarks, so these are more about the plot than the smut. There's probably a lot of ABO without mpreg, but I hope some of these change your mind about it!!

1. Fire, Fury and Flame by IAmAVeronica

Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he's accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger's sperm. Awesome. And the father of Stiles's baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts. Joy.

Notes: this is Jane the Virgin if there were werewolves and abo. It’s absolutely phenomenal. That's it, I have nothing else to say, 10/10. It's completed!

2. I don't know why, but I guess it has something to do with you by LunaCanisLupus_22

“You smell like me,” the guy says, scowling as he crowds in and Stiles staggers back between the coats and finally hits the wall. “Why do you smell like me?” He barely lets out a garbled sound as the blood rushes to his cheeks. “No reason,” Stiles yelps, struggling to get his footing and grasping at a whirlwind of puffy fur. Or the one where Stiles goes thrift shopping and steals an alpha's shirt. And gets a lot more than he bargains for.

Notes: Stiles does something he's not supposed to. Derek is... confused. It ends up pretty okay. Also kind of an office au?? Anyways they're both dorks and I love them. It's completed, but you need to have an account to see this work.

3. Take Me Away From Here by Hedwig221b (also @hedwig221b here on tumblr!)

Derek Hale looked terrifying. With his broad frame and muscles, with his wild black hair and thick beard, with his eyes the color of blood and fangs of a killer. Despite his kindness and his apparent attraction to Stiles, he was still a stranger, a predator, a wolf. The thing is, Stiles would deal, but others might not. People found Lord Hale horrid, monstrous and unapproachable. If Stiles stood behind him, no one would touch him. He’d be safe with the wolf. If not from him, then definitely from everyone else. And that was enough.

Notes: of course I had to rec at least one Hedwig abo fic, they're the best! Don't you worry, there's a lot more in this list. This is a historical au... sort of. If history had werewolves and omegas. Don't worry, it works out fine. The whole world building in itself is interesting, because it treates omegas like a different species. Derek, my beloved, always and forever obsessed with Stiles! It gets dark for a little while, but don't fret, all is okay in the world. It's completed!

4. Scent Left Unsaid by bleep0bleep

In a society where werewolves are second class, Deucslist is an alternative werewolf network (similar to Craigslist) where humans and werewolves offer (mostly sexual) services. Derek is a long-term client of an anonymous human omega whose scent is just perfect. He never expects to meet him, until it happens.  Derek has slept with that faded red hooded sweatshirt every night since he got it in the mail. It’s calming, that scent; it’s everything to him. So it’s strange now that Derek is smelling it wafting from the end of the subway car as it careens towards the L line, lights flickering on the passing platforms.

Notes: imagine meet cute, only Derek is too socially awkward to actually enact the necessary steps to make it a meet cute, and Stiles has to do it instead. Also using the good old trope of Stiles' scent being like cocaine to Derek. It's very wholesome, and it's completed.

5. Never a Hardship by Julibean19 

“Derek, meet Stiles, your new bodyguard,” Talia says. Derek doesn’t get up. He’s frozen to his seat on the couch, staring at the man who will now be hounding his every step. “What’s a Stiles?” he asks dumbly, finally budging when his mother smacks him on the shoulder.  “That’s Chief Stiles to you,” his mother says, scolding him. Derek huffs in annoyance, wondering how this could possibly get worse. “Senior Chief Stilinski is a Navy SEAL, Special Operations Forces, and has been handpicked by me, out of several hundred options. You will treat him with respect and do what he says.” “I’m a grown man, Madam President,” Derek says through clenched teeth. “You can’t expect me to listen to this guy. I don’t know anything about him."

Notes: I love First Family aus! And Omega First Son!Derek with Alpha Bodyguard!Stiles is just delightful. There's a lot of omega politics, and Stiles gets to be a total badass when he and Derek are not pining after each other. Also, Chris Argent, surprisingly, is the best. I don't know what else to say without spoiling everything, so just know this is amazing! It's completed.

6. A Sheep In Wolf's Clothing by dumpac

"What the fuck, Stiles, what the fuck?!" "No, no, you don't understand, Scotty, this is the best idea ever!" "Because you think registering as a fucking alpha to college when you're actually an omega is the best idea ever? It's not even a good idea!" Or : Being an omega, Stiles has few chances to be accepted in the college of his dreams. Registering as an alpha seems like a good idea... until his new roommate, hot-as-the-sun alpha Derek Hale, comes in the equation.

Notes: I know I say this a lot but this fic is SO GOOD!! Stiles pretends to be an alpha and IT WORKS because he's a badass, only things go a little bit sideways because he's not an alpha and Derek... well Derek has no idea. My poor man is confused. Also has a dash of good old discrimination against omegas and nepotism. One of my favorite abo AND college au fics. It's completed.

7. Untouchable by Hedwig221b

The day Stiles Stilinski entered the Berkeley campus was the day all the alphas went absolutely fucking nuts. See, omegas were rare, even more than redheads. Got to be extremely fucking lucky to even see one in a lifetime. They were supposed to be these ethereal creatures of beauty and elegance, irresistible and blinding. And Stiles Stilinski was exactly that.

Notes: another Hedwig fic hehe. This one makes me go feral EVERY TIME. Literally one of my favorite fics to ever exist, I think I've read it three times in the last month and a half alone. If you're looking for unhinged sterek with absolutely besotted Derek, and pretty omega Stiles who has only eyes for him, this is the fic for you. They are literally so great!! 10/10, please please please go read this. It's completed.

8. You Smell Like Mine by bleep0bleep, marguerite_26 

People talk about the alpha instinct, an alpha's head being swayed by a nice-smelling omega, or the desire to drop everything and show off. Derek's never felt any of that. He's just not that kind of alpha. Then he meets Stiles.

Notes: I love Derek in this, he's trying SO HARD to remain nonchalant over Stiles, but he never stood a chance. One whiff of Stiles' scent and he was a goner, pathetically entranced. Good thing Stiles wants him back hehe. A sprinkle of Enemies to Lovers (and really, can we say it's sterek if it doesn't have enemies to lovers who are inexplicably drawn to each other despite their best efforts to appear indifferent?). It's completed.

9. His Only Defence by LunaCanisLupus_22

Stiles had just accidentally challenged an alpha. Oh God, and Scott had just stood by and let him do it. He was the worst best friend ever. Stiles was going to kill him. Except, oh right, the alpha was going to kill him first. Like beyond dead, ripped into tiny little pieces dead. So far dead that his dad would not be able to identify him, dead.

Notes: I honestly don't know how to explain this one. It's a modern au, only archaic abo rules exist and Stiles and Derek... well, Stiles is Stiles and Derek is Derek. They work it out. It's completed, but you need to have an account to read this work.

10. cheer up, babe by graveltotempo, SpringlockedSpectre

He was the basketball captain. And he was a cheerleader. Can I make it any more clear? OR: Derek Hale thought he had his crush on Stiles Stilinski under control. And then Stiles decided to show up to school in a skirt.

Notes: Derek is pining and makes a fool of himself all the time in front of Stiles. Stiles, thankfully for Derek, finds it charming. That's it, that's the fic. It's completed. I also recommend checking up graveltotempo's other works, they're great!

11. Love's Violent Delights by Dexterous_Sinistrous

Derek caught the way the man’s eyes looked over Stiles before lingering on his ass. He waited for the clerk to place the key on the counter before he reacted. Stiles startled at the loud noise, turning away from the pamphlets in the display box to see Derek pinning the clerk’s head against the counter. He drew in an even breath, looking between the struggling man and Derek. Derek briefly looked at Stiles, hesitating before he saw the gleam of excitement in Stiles’ eyes and the hint of lust in his scent. “Ever look at him, or any other Omega, like that again, and I’ll slice your eyes out with my claws.” He shoved the man back, not caring of the commotion that was made as he snatched up the key from the counter.

Notes: this makes me go feralllll it's so good. The Sheriff is imprisoned for what basically amounts to bullshit charges, and he and Derek share a cell. When Derek is freed, he looks for Stiles to make good on his promise to the Sheriff to take care of him. Somehow, they end up running from the law lol, my little criminal babies. Their relationship here is so uuuuuuughhhhh so wonderful! There's also critics to the system and talk about abo politics. It's completed.

12. Side Character by Hedwig221b

He should’ve kept his mouth shut. He should’ve smiled like always. Now everything was ruined, crushed, destroyed. Dust, shards, and the remnants of his pride. Love that no one needed. Derek’s gaze scalded the side of his face but Stiles refused to meet it. He had already revealed too much.

Notes: Hedwig, as always, writes such good stories! Seriously one of my favorite sterek writers! Stiles is oblivious and pining, Derek is also oblivious and pining, only in a completely different manner. They still end up together because they are meant to be in EVERY UNIVERSE. This doesn't have the traditional Alpha/Omega pairing, since Stiles is a Beta (really, the root of all this issue in the first place) He is very insecure in this one, but Derek is here for him. It's completed.

13. Made Your Mark on Me (A Golden Tattoo) by writteninthewolfstar

Beacon Hills High and Lycan Heights High are well-known enemies. Derek Hale, Lycan Heights' star quarter-back, is well-known for being aggressive and arrogant. Imagine Stiles surprise when he discovers that Derek Hale is actually his soul-mate.

Notes: this is a very sweet one. Pretty light hearted, especially compared to canon. The bullying does get a little intense at some points, though, so if that's triggering proceed with caution. Jock Derek, my beloved. Stiles is a loner, and also very insecure on this one! But Derek is an absolute sweetheart and a real champ, so love conquers all. Has some Bad Friend Scott, too, so if that's something you're interested in, this is your fic. It's completed.

14. We Gotta Hide What We're Doin' by CharWright5

As a Bodyguard within the Stilinski Rodzina, Derek's one and only job is to watch over the Omega son—and only child—of the Family's Head, Stiles, a task that is easier said than done some nights. It's just good that the Alpha knows the best way to punish the little troublemaker when his bratty behavior threatens to expose a secret that could get the Bodyguard killed.

Notes: this one has a lot of smut, and the premise is absolutely killer. I'm actually very sad it's not 200k words long, but what can you do? Stiles is the heir to a Mafia Empire, and Derek an enforcer and Stiles' personal bodyguard since he was young. Stiles is a spoiled brat here, but Derek likes that hehe. It's also a secret relationship. It's kiiiiind of dark, since this is a mafia au, but nothing too terrible. To be honest the most explicit part is the smut. It's completed.

15. Survival of the Species by Lissadiane

“I think I’m dying.” Nothing makes sense – and now Derek has left him. “No, Mr. Stilinski,” Deaton says grimly, rooting around in his special cupboard of herbs and remedies. “I’m afraid not. You’re merely suffering from a biological imperative to bear your alpha’s children and strengthen the pack.” Stiles considers that for a moment, as best he can with his mind a hazy mess, and then he says quietly, “I think that might be worse.” “So, so much worse,” Scott agrees. * In which Derek's pack is apparently stable enough to begin planning for the future, and somehow, the universe has decided Stiles is the perfect candidate to bear his alpha's children.

Notes: honestly?? One of the best fics I've read about mpreg, not just in the Teen Wolf, but in general. It keeps things real, everyone is the appropriate amount of freaked out, for a while no one is having a good time, and there's enough to hint at body horror that my angst thirst is satisfied. Don't worry though, everything's fine! And there's no actual body horror, Stiles just has a very wild imagination. There's also not actual mpreg either, it's just discussed. It's complete.

16. before the world catches up by negativelyme

Stiles is a beta, so he’s never been a part of the annual Winter Mating Rituals that take over his high school. Or so he thinks.

Notes: this one is so wholesome! Derek truly is trying his very best, you can do it, Derek! Stiles' I'm-a-Beta-no-one-wants-me issues are getting in the way of true love. All ends well. It's completed.

17. All You Ever Needed to Know About Knotting by orphan_account

Derek had started reading the column by accident. Really, reading strangers’ questions about knotting and heat had never really appealed to him. However, at that point in time, he was a little desperate. And he was right: most of the questions submitted by anonymous readers didn’t appeal to him. The answers, though, did. (Or: In which Stiles writes an advice column about knotting and Derek is smitten. Also they're neighbors.)

Notes: it's pretty much what it says in the summary. Overall very wholesome, made me laugh. Derek is absolutely precious here. It's completed.

18. You Want Me Back by graveltotempo

Stiles and the Hale pack come back to Beacon Hills for a High School reunion.

Notes: classic 10 year reunion fic (or maybe it's not classic in this fandom?? Tbh, most of the reunion fics I've read are from KHR), Stiles comes back to BH married and with a child. He, Jackson and Isaac are the best of bests, and Derek is, of course, wonderful. Peter is also pretty great, even if he appears for like 5 seconds. Canon Divergent from season 3b, bad friend Lydia, bad friend Scott. There's an epic smackdown and the Hales are basically top dogs. It's completed.

19. Over the Moon by likeshipsonthesea

Stiles and Derek spend a night together, and Derek, thinking he's protecting Stiles, tells him it was a mistake. Stiles leaves Beacon Hills. He also leaves behind 6 letters to say goodbye to the pack. From his letters, the pack thinks he's killed himself. Meanwhile, Stiles is in NYC, living with Jackson, going to Columbia, oh, and he's pregnant.

Notes: Derek is an idiot, but his heart is in the right place. Misscomunication ensues, basically, and it escalates way too much. Jackson and Stiles' broship is literally the best thing ever, I love them!!!! We should have more fics with them being the best duo ever.

20. the Jurisdiction series by elisera

John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before.  But the temper is still there. He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders.

Notes: the first part of the series gets, admittedly, pretty violent. Everything after that is very wholesome though. The Sheriff is an absolute gem in this one! Also, the mpreg is a very important factor after the first part of the series, but the first part is mostly just sterek pining and the aforementioned violent events. I'd mind the tags. It's completed.

21. What To Expect When You're Expecting (A Litter of Sourwolf Puppies) by Brego_Mellon_Nin

The Sheriff sighs and plops down in a chair opposite his son. “Stiles, I’m going crazy here. We need to get you to a doctor. You sleep like you’re trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, and your eating habits are bizarre! You vomit around the clock and for some reason only the tea your mother used when she was pregnant will get your stomach to settle down for any length of time. Is there something you aren’t telling me? Can werewolves get guys pregnant? I’ve noticed how you look at that Hale kid-”  Stiles meeps and flails, sloshing tea down his front. Luckily it’s not scalding anymore, but still hot, so he jumps up and wrenches his shirt off. “God, dad, no! Guys can’t get pregnant, that’s ridiculous, it’s like...” “Like werewolves being real?” his dad questions, deadpan.

Notes: a wonderful accidental pregnancy fic. I love the Sheriff on this one, he's so supportive and actually has a hold of every single braincell because he is just THAT great. Stiles is also lovely, and while Derek is missing for like the first third of the fic he's great, too. This are pretty fluffy all around! It's completed.

22. I Don't Blame You for Being You (but you can't blame me for hating it) by LadySlytherin 

Derek hits Stiles with his Camaro - 'Dammit, Stiles, it was an accident!'...'Why don't I believe you?' - and hilarity ensues.

Notes: do you know how there are fics that make you go 'I LOVE STEREK SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAH'? Well, this is one of them. Derek hits Stiles with his car, Stiles ends with a broken leg, Derek gets to take care of him while he recovers as payment. Oh, and there's a fight about which pack Stiles actually belongs to, but that works itself out. It's pretty great. It's also completed.

23. Predators by Hedwig221b

He was born for this. Nature itself whispered into his ear where he should put his hands, how to twirl his tongue just right and when to bite. Stiles knew well enough that his saliva was currently working its magic on this unfortunate man, making him hungry, lustful, and insatiable. Soon, all his thoughts would be consumed by Stiles. And, just this once, Stiles would allow Derek to consume him.

Notes: to be honest, I thought I'd be putting this on another section, since this is a creature!Stiles fic (and it'll definitely go there when I make that fic rec list), but if it has mpreg then it has mpreg. This is actually one of my favorite fics ever!! I feel like I'm always saying this but it bears repeating, so: Hedwig always makes such great stories (as proven by the sheer amount of Hedwig fics I have in my rec lists lol). Stiles is so uuuuuugh in this one, I love him! And Derek! Oh lord, Derek makes me go feral here. Honestly, so good! It's completed, but do mind the tags because it gets... intense.

24. Disposition by Tulikettu

Stiles has an itch. A kinky, kinda dirty itch he needs to scratch.  So why not go on the Internet and look for a complete stranger to scratch it?  Derek needs a partner for his rut.  What a coincidence.

Notes: alright so this last one really veers off track from the rest of this list. It's basically pure smut so if you're not into that, don't read it. It also doesn't actually have mpreg, it's just discussed (and barely as a subject, since in their current present it isn't possible). Also, the kinks are... well, they are. There are some pretty triggering stuff in here so please mind the tags before you read, because if it's in the tags, you will read it, in detail. Other than that, it's pretty great! Stiles and Derek are very obsessed with each other, as they should. It's completed!

And this is everything. I honestly surprised myself with the amount of fics that ended up here, I hadn't realized I'd read that many sterek fics with ABO and mpreg. I hope you like these, Shar! And of course, anyone else who bounds finding this, I hope you enjoy these too.

[wwaheoh]

"The Dangers of Hollow Work", Cunning Hares x gnReader (Platonic), SFW, Angst no Comfort

c/w: contains mentions of blood, death, injury, and body mutation.

a/n: in chapter 2, sorry if it's ooc. fun game, even if it is a bit mindless. i like the animation a lot, can't wait for further updates and for more fics for it!!

To be trapped in a Hollow without a proxy was a death sentence. Depending on one’s aptitude, it would be a quick transformation after half an hour or so, or would be a slow, painful change. Your body would mutate, cells being created at an accelerated rate as the environment forced your body to change into something inhuman. New appendages, body parts being ripped apart as it struggled to keep up. Your psyche only knowing pain, for hours, before finally setting into a new shape, your DNA having been broken and reshaped.

Only pain and destruction filled your mind, mindless, memories of what you once were and those you knew washed away like a sandcastle on the beach.

-

The Cunning Hares were no stranger to traversing the Hollows, oftentimes enlisting the help of the legendary Phaethon. This time their leader, Nicole, had accepted a lower paying commission. One that seemed simple, quick in and out, so they skimped on the premium and gone with a cheaper proxy. Something perfect for you, still easing into working with them. A mistake that would cost them dearly.

It started off normally, following a Bangboo through the formerly human-inhabited city. It was more rudimentary than the premium one Phaethon used, without the syncing and high-tech they had, it couldn’t do the same as theirs could. As they delved deeper, the proxy reported a nearby disturbance, their tech couldn’t identify that it was a monster magnitudes higher than what they were being paid to fight.

They learned the hard way, with only a moment of notice before the monster sprang out, a head split open, revealing a mass of unstable energy. Green splitting their charcoal body. It was monstrous, forearms the size of entire car. It crashed through a wall, as if on a mission to kill them, and only them.

-

“Nicole! The proxy’s trying to tell us something!” Billy the Kid, an sentient AI, spoke out, kneeling as the Bangboo held out text, encrypted in case anyone apart from them got hold of this information. Nicole, the leader of the Cunning Hares, made her way over, a sense of unease as they continued along their mission. “It says…” She read the small text that was displayed on the Bangboo’s eyes.

“Something’s coming!” Anby spoke, rushing with blinding speed from her spot guarding the group to parrying a monster that smashed through the wall. It was a monster too strong for them to handle right now- or at least until they were being paid to.

“Fall back! We’ll do this commision later!” Nicole shouted, swinging her suitcase forward as she shot out a ball of energy, erupting as it began to pull the monster and anything nearby to its epicenter. “It won’t hold it for long, let’s go!”

You, Nicole, Billy, and Anby ran out, picking up the Bangboo and having it direct the group on the go. There were monsters on the way out, having to slow down every once in a while to combat them before making a break for it. “We better get a bonus for this!” Nicole shouted as the telltale screech of the monster echoed through the city.

Finally after seemingly forever, the Cunning Hares had reached the exit, a swirly mess of blue and purple, with a white bubbly outline was their way out of this mess.

“Trial by fire eh!” Billy joked, slowing down to your pace, his long legs easily making him the fastest out of the group. He helped keep you calm, someone who could make the best out of unfortunate circumstances.

“C’mon guys! Only a bit further left.” Nicole directed, someone emotionally sturdy, who had been the first of the group to meet you. Originally you’d been friends outside of this whole Hollows business, until the two of you learned that you’d shared this “hobby” together. She’d invited you to join the Cunning Hares, happy for one friend to meet her other friends.

The portal out got closer as they moved, yet the stomping of the monsters got arrived first. It landed from the air, with Billy saving you from being squashed by the several ton monster. He tossed you to Nicole, having her help right yourself as he unloaded bullets onto the monster. It didn’t do much but helped distract the monster for Anby to rush in.

“Say hello to my little friend.” She spoke in her monotone voice, seemingly to herself, as she unsheathed her blade and rocketed forward, slashing at the monster, sparks flying as electricity flowed through her blade.

Quickly they moved, hurrying to the exit as the monster was riddled with electricity coursing through their body, locking their joints and nerves, immobilizing them.

It seemed to be smooth sailing from there, with the adrenaline that had been coursing through your veins seemingly evaporating in seconds. A mistake, as you were not out of the woodworks just yet. A stray piece of debris on the ground made you trip, with a small yelp as you slipped onto the ground.

The monster recovered from their stun, now more ferocious than ever, they charged. Nicole and the others hadn’t seen you fall, caught up in keeping the monster busy and keeping the Bangboo safe. Once they had reached the portal and turned back to the monster, they’d seen you on the ground.

It was a shock, with Nicole nearly rushing forward to help you before being stopped by Anby. “The monster is too strong for us. It should’ve been incapacitated for 72.3% longer. We need to come back again.” “But we have to save them!” “We will all die if we do. We can come back, with Phaethon to aid us.” Nicole couldn’t bring herself to agree to what Anby was saying, it would basically be agreeing to abandon one of their own, even if for seemingly a short while. But she stopped protesting, letting herself be dragged out. Once she got to the outside world, she made a break for the video store, in search for the legendary Proxy’s help.

-

You lasted for half an hour against the monster. Running and dodging, clashing for a minute before making a break for it when you could. You knew the Cunning Hares would be back, but this was an enemy unlike anything they’d come up against previously, the only monster akin to them would’ve been the Dead End Butcher.

The monster had caught up, pulverizing your ribs with a single hit and leaving you concussed, falling down several floors. Your vision was blurry, the world felt like it was spinning. Pain, unbearable. Unable to move without the chance of nicking an artery or damaging an internal organ. Nothing to say of your spine having been shattered as you hit the ground.

You lay there for half an hour, your screams and cries rang out for thirteen minutes before, your voice failing on you. Before a groaning and inhuman screams replaced what was left.

-

The Cunning Hares had been able to take down the mysterious monster; what would usually call for celebration had to be postponed as they followed Phaethon deeper into the Hollow, searching for the last signal of human life. It had been seventeen minutes since the last ping. Phaethon warned them that what they would find would either be a corpse but the Cunning Hares refused to believe that, not wanting to part with you so early into your career, not when you had become integrated into the group.

Finally reaching the last known location, they found a puddle of blood, drying up, with no body. A monster nearby, with scraps of clothing still hanging on, yours.

They couldn't even leave with a body to bury.

[kyogre-blue]

Finished the Dirge of Bilqis, Tadhla, and Apocalypse Now world quests (for now?). 

We do have a mysterious additional quest “Her Foes Rage Like Great Waters...” that is gated until Feb 6, which I can only assume will finally remove the giant sandstorm in the center. But I’m done with the story for now. 

And it’s... very disappointing. 

I’ve come to have some expectations of the major world quest chains, since Sakura Cleansing, Aranyaka, and Golden Slumber were all quite good, better than the archon quests imo. Yes, I didn’t exactly love Ruu’s stuff, and the sumeru quests had some pacing issues, but the story was still good on the whole. 

But I can’t really say the same for this. We have Jeht returning, and her parts were the best because they at least somewhat echoed the focus on family that Golden Slumber had, but the stuff with the Tanit and Liloupar was just kind of bad. 

I will admit some of it might come down to me simply not liking this kind of story and tone, but I also think it just wasn’t written well. 

There were also small visual issues that added up, like them using generic NPC models without any alterations for the Tanit (worst on Babel, who uses a stupid sexy model that just looks dumb, but also Tadhla who has a “coming of age” despite being very obviously a mature adult model) and the models having no expressions but the camera often zooming in on their faces. This isn’t unique, but it stood out more than ever here. 

As for the writing, it’s... So there are basically three main plots: 1) Jeht finds her father’s old tribe and decides to seek out an ancient mystical location to lay her parents’ spirits to rest there, 2) the Tanit tribe’s machinations and internal struggles, 3) Liloupar’s story and the destruction of the ancient city of Gurabad. 

As I said, 1 on its own is kind of okay. I still felt something because we already know Jeht. But unfortunately, she’s dragged through 2 and 3 as well, and she’s not strong enough to be our emotional connection to 2. They also do a number of “tell not show” on her personality, and in ways I don’t find beneficial to Jeht on the whole. When she goes off on the big guy and we fight him to the death, it really feels like Jeht is being unreasonable, even though she’s right by the power of writer clairvoyance. 

3 is the usual Genshin lore that is too convoluted and pointless. Liloupar is also just awful. She’s extremely abrasive toward every single person we meet, by way of what feels to be racial slurs, weirdly suggestive, and utterly unapologetic for having done completely monstrous things. Yes, yes, the fae do not follow human morals, etc, but like... it’s just not interesting and it’s deeply unpleasant. Her “final words” are also a mess because she seems to have put this shepherd boy on a pedestal when she fell in love with him ("I thought he was above mortals”), then fucked him over when he proved to be fallible, fucked over their children and an entire city, and now puts the Traveler on a pedestal too. It’ll be fine because the Traveler doesn’t have any flaws, of course, but it’s so stupid to read through. 

There’s also some really annoying patterns emerging, but I’ll complain about those separately. 

But 2, the Tanit... man. MAN. That was so bad. 

The Tanit are a tribe, so they’re a bunch of NPCs. We don’t have any room to really learn about them, except perhaps Tadhla in the most general way. But they are deeply fucked up. I don’t even mean Babel’s power struggles, because who cares, but everything else is just an endless parade of “look at the strange, savage ways of these desert barbarians.” It doesn’t just look bad for them, but also for eremites on the whole, since we have comparatively few eremite characters and especially groups. 

I guess maybe I hang out on Tumblr too much, because I found it both annoying and shallow when they just had to go with “the desert is so harsh and unforgiving, and that’s why everyone here is a merciless asshole who kills without hesitation.” Really reminded me of a post I saw at one point about how sad it is that the desert areas are never home to anyone and always portrayed as utterly inhospitable. 

[stillebesat]

Lemon Drops

Sanders Sides: Patton, Remus  Blurb: Patton just wanted to go somewhere where he wouldn’t be judged, wouldn’t disappoint...wouldn’t...screw up another relationship. (Takes place after SvS Redux) Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort, Frog!Patton  Overall Fic Warnings: Remus being Remus, Death Talk, Mentions of Nudity, Various Innuendos, Blood mentions, Negative Self Talk, Trapped/Captivity talk, Fight talk, Panic Attack Taglist in Reblog. 

There was no answer.

Patton exhaled, biting his lip as he dropped his hand, staring with only slightly blurry vision at the crown emblem on Roman’s door.

There had never been no answer before. 

Out of all the others, Roman’s room had always been open to him. No matter the time of day or night. No matter the reason. Roman...Roman would always let his door swing open and Patton could come in to spend however long he needed to inside.

Now….now….he swallowed, fighting to keep his vision from blurring further. Now...it obviously wasn’t. 

Maybe because of today this door would be closed to him forever. 

We love you. 

He hugged himself, chest aching as he turned away for the stairs, keeping his head down as he moved past both Logan and Virgil’s doors. 

Both firmly locked. 

Both silent.

Both...unhappy with him too.

Do you think there’s a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry? 

He wished there wasn’t. He wished that it would just be one more apology and things could get back to...being...better. Back to the...okay not great...but better times when his fellow Sides actually kinda wanted to be around him.

If they had ever wanted to be around him in the first place. 

Had they? 

Had they ever...liked him?

His breath hitched as he entered the kitchen, his fingers digging into his arms as he came to a stop in front of the stove.

Cooking had always made him feel better.

But what was the point of cooking for one? 

Patton closed his eyes, fighting to keep the tears pooling behind his lids from seeping out. 

He’d been so overbearing for so long. Been so set in his ways. In trying to make sure that Thomas was a good person...that...that all those icky feelings were locked up tight and pushed away that he--that he--Patton reached out blindly as his legs buckled, grabbing onto the handle of the oven, hanging onto it like a drowning man clutching to a tree root as his knees made contact with the tiles. 

Do you think there’s a limit on how many times someone can someone say sorry...before you have to admit...that they’re just bad for you?

Thomas wasn’t always a good perfect person. Despite how much Patton wanted him to be. He was...he was...Human. And humans made mistakes. His fellow Sides made mistakes. Patton...Patton himself could make mistakes.

He just wished it didn’t hurt so darn badly. 

Patton dropped one hand to his shirt, clutching at the fabric over his heart as he pressed his head against the cool side of the oven door, his throat aching with suppressed sobs as the tears he’d been fighting so hard to keep at bay flowed down his cheeks. 

Repressing depression can also be bad. 

Well...he’d--he’d never been particularly good at facing his own icky feelings either, not when returning to his room could bring such a quick jolt of happiness that he could forget for a time...all the...all the...and not let the others see...his...this...see him---

Unhappy.

Not that anyone was likely to see him unhappy here right now.

Not when they were locked in their rooms.

Avoiding him.

Because he...it felt like he’d been wrong more often than right these days. Hurting the ones he loved. 

And nothing he did seemed to fix--fix--

Patton shuddered, curling in on himself, trying to find a way to steadily breathe, to keep silent so no one would come to investigate. To--to...calm down. He didn’t--he didn’t need to become--that mutant frog again...to let his icky feelings change him like that--but it...he…

I just have a lot of feelings. 

And none of them were the right ones to help the others. 

They never seemed to be any--any--

A zing of electricity rushed through him and Patton let out a small cry as he felt his body abruptly shift.

NO. NO. NO.

He jerked his head up, gasping for breath as he caught sight of a bright green arm before it shifted back to his normal human appearance. 

NO! Patton fought to shove all the ick--sadness he was feeling away. To keep his regular appearance. He couldn’t trigg--

But the grief was welling up. Swelling like the tidal wave he’d felt before growing into that monstrous frog into a--bad guy. 

Patton shoved to his feet, heart racing his tears as he leapt for the doorway, shooting for the stairs. For his room where he could get that jolt of happiness that had to stop this--

He gasped as another electric zing zapped through him. He stumbled, falling against the door under the stairs that lead down to The Others. 

“Please.” He begged, sticky green fingers slipping off the handle as he curled back into a ball on the floor. Fighting to stay small, to not grow into that...that thing as electric pulses danced along his skin. 

Small.

SMALL.

He had to stay---

He cried out, closing his eyes as it felt like all the air was suddenly being squeezed out of his lungs and he felt himself shift further with a soft POP. He shook his head, missing the weight of the glasses on his nose and his cat hoodie around his shoulders as they fell with a muted thud to the carpet. NO FROG NO FROG NO FROG. He internally shouted, mashing himself into an even tighter ball, his voice choking off in a deep Croak. 

NO! Patton had to--he’d break something if he--he desperately synced himself out of the living room, falling down and away before anyone could come investigate the noise. 

The others couldn’t know. 

He landed with a soft plop onto a semi-bouncy surface that could only be his bed. 

Safe.

Patton drew in a shuddering breath, burying his head into the blanket, breathing in its fresh lemon scent, waiting for the familiar zing of happiness to hit him, to help him shift back to his normal human look.

He had to stay--stay---happy. Pre--pretend that things were---that it would all be okay. 

And that meant going somewhere else where he wouldn’t be judged, wouldn’t disappoint...wouldn’t...screw up another relationship further because he couldn’t control himself and became a terrible giant monster--

“FROG!”

DANGER.

Patton’s eyes flashed open barely taking in the surroundings of the softly lit room that definitely wasn’t his bedroom as he instinctively leapt before the oily voice over his head could finish pronouncing the G, terror rushing through him and coming out of his mouth in a series of frantic ribbits as he sprang off the enormous unmade bed.

SPLAT.

“Hey!” 

Patton gasped as neon red liquid flew past his face as he landed in something cold and slimy and--he didn’t want to think about just what he may be sitting in right now. No. NO. He had to get away from Remus before he...before he!

“Whoa! Wartface! Hold it!”

Patton flinched as Remus’s shadowy form towered over him and jumped--hopped? His limbs definitely were more froglike than anything human--freeing himself from the red icky liquid, to land on the cold black floor, leaving bloody red frogprints behind as he hopped yet again.

Only to have a puke yellow slime meet him in a squelchy embrace as he landed in a different container. 

What was this stuff?! 

“Froggysoggypants stop!” 

No. No way. Patton croaked as he freed himself from the second container, landing with another plop onto the blackened floor, marring its surface with red, orange, and yellow streaks as he frantically tried to run--hop away from Remus towering over him like--like--

Earlier. When Patton had towered over the others as a giant frog. But now that Remus--did that mean...had he shrunk instead?!

“GOTCHA!” Clammy hands grabbed him around the middle midleap, squeezing him tight enough that Patton was certain his eyes were bulging as he was lifted upwards. 

Remus’s crooked grin filled his vision, showing him just how small he’d become. 

He squeaked, an awkward sound coming from his frog mouth as he struggled helplessly in the Duke’s grip. 

“Look at you!” Remus breathed, easily holding him in one hand as he used the other to pull Patton’s arm out. “You’re blue!” He exclaimed, eyes sparking as he played with Patton’spaint covered pale blue froggy toes. “I wonder--”

Patton flinched, trembling as Remus ran his tongue over his back, the hairs of his moustache brushing against his skin. 

This was it. This was how he died. 

“Bleh.” The Duke gagged, pulling away wiping his mouth against his shoulder. “You’re not one of mine.” He complained, running his tongue over the fabric in a manner that had Patton cringing. 

How could Remus stand the texture of cloth against his tongue? Didn’t it--no wait. This was the Duke who ate pickled poo log deodorant. He probably loved the sensation.

“You taste far too sweet like--like--” He poked Patton between the eyes with a frown. “Like a saccharine sugar cookie under all that paint! Peh! At least taste bitter like arsenic or mucus! Frogs are covered in mucus! You should taste like that at least.” 

Patton closed his eyes, shuddering, still feeling Remus’s tongue on his bare back. It wasn’t like he could control what he tasted like! And if he tasted like cookies then that was much better than than--

Than all the ugly and gross things that would be right up the Duke’s dark, grimey, and probably blood covered alley.

But if Remus didn’t like sweet things. And if he realized who he was holding in his hands--

His heart dropped. 

It definitely wouldn’t be pretty. At all. Not when he was sure the Duke blamed Patton for being kept from Thomas’s conscious mind for so long.  

He could easily take revenge.

Remus could skewer him with a sharp stick, throw him in a boiling pot of oil or even peel him open like some sort of crazy science experiment---

Patton whimpered, the sound shifting to soft frantic ribbits as he wiggled in the Duke’s grip.

“Nah! Ah! Sticky Feet! No. Stop squirming!” Remus tightened his grip on him as Patton did his best with his odd toe finger things to find purchase to pull himself free so he could hop the heck out of there and shift back to normal away from the Side that had always given him the heebie jeebies. 

After all…it wasn’t like any of the others would come to his rescue.

Not when none of them...liked him currently. 

Not when their resident Prince and Hero who loved to save people in distress...had locked his room and refused to come out.

Patton stopped struggling, feeling a cold heavy weight settle in his stomach as he stared hopelessly up at Remus. 

Roman wouldn’t come save him. Not this time.

Perhaps it was only right that his brother, the Duke, Master of the Dark Side of Creativity, held him now. Captive. Trapped. He probably deserved it after all he put everyone through today with his…..monstrous self. 

“There there.” Remus whispered, stroking Patton’s back with a finger instead of his tongue this time. He plopped down cross-legged on the paint splattered floor, head tilting at an unnatural angle as he studied him. “You’re not mine.” He repeated softly, an eerie light shining in his eyes as he played with Patton’s toes. “Too sweet. Too sweet. Not Ro’s either. The salt on him is thick these days. Sooooooooooo~” He tilted his head the other way, a small smile playing on his lips. “What brings you here to me in my dark dismal tower and not to him in his gleaming marble castle, little sugar wartface?” 

Patton gulped, trembling as Remus brought him up to eye level, unable to do anything more in his grip. He’d already tried to go to Roman. B-b-but--

That door was shut to him now.   

“Blue...a blue frog….” The Duke mused, humming under his breath as he rocked in place. “Call me Mr. Blue...but with the downright stodgy rainbow theme all of us have going on...being blue means you can only be--” He paused, eyes growing sharp as he grinned like a feral cat about to catch its prey. 

Today really wasn’t his day. 

Patton slumped, a soft ribbit escaping him as he fought back the urge to sob. He just wanted to get away where he wouldn’t hurt the others. Where he wouldn’t be judged or hated. Where he couldn’t...couldn’t mess things up for anyone any more.

But all his icky feelings had only screwed him over more. Changed him into a tiny slimy frog. Landed him in Remus’s room where he was now trapped in the Duke’s grip. 

And now Remus knew exactly who he was. 

“Potty.” 

He flinched at the nickname, closing his eyes as his heart sunk even lower. Sure, he felt like a pile of crap right now. A tiny smelly useless pile of nothing. But he didn’t...didn’t want to be compared to a...toilet. 

“This is no place for you and your awfully tender heart.” Remus said, booping him on the nose. “Why did you come to me? Like this?”

Patton cautiously opened his eyes, confused. Why was the Duke not boiling him alive right now? Hating him too? Why was he--he---being gentle?! 

‘I don’t know.’ He whispered, his words changing to a soft croak as he spoke, rendering his words incomprehensible. 

Out of all the Sides...Remus would have never have crossed his mind as someone to come to for any reason. In a--in a perfect world he would never have to deal with the Duke at all.

“Ooooohh~ Lemme guess.” Remus flopped backwards, head landing in a pan filled with pink paint, sending neon droplets flying across the room as he held Patton high over his head. “You waiting for a kiss?” He asked, puckering his lips, drawing him close.

True love’s kiss can break any curse. 

Even if this had been a curse and not his own fault that he was now a useless tiny slimy frog, Patton knew that no-no one woul--would….no one--not even Remus--He recoiled as the moustache filled his vision, breath hitching as the gaping hole in his chest where his heart should be only seemed to grow wider. 

A kiss wouldn’t work. Not--not when...no one loved him. 

How many times? How many times can you say sorry?  

Not enough. Never enough. He couldn’t--

A fresh lemon breeze washed over him as Remus paused a hair's breadth away from pressing his lips against his face. He tilted his head, going cross-eyed as he hummed staring down at Patton.

He snorted. “No kisses? Figures. You don’t want to see us as lovers?” Remus wiggled his eyebrows, smirking as he rolled to his stomach, the room spinning like a kaleidoscope around them. 

L-lovers?! Patton squeaked, feeling his body go all warm. If he’d been his normal human self, he was sure his face would have gone bright red at that. 

Remus cackled, dark eyes glittering. “Surely as Thomas’s Heart, wittle Pittle has a teeny weenie spot of love for smelly old me if he loves all of Thomas.” 

And Patton thought his heart couldn’t break further. If he was any good at his job...then that should have been True.

But it wasn’t. 

The knowledge that he didn’t want to have any love for the Duke only made him feel worse.

What good was he as Thomas’s Heart if he couldn’t love every Side of him? 

Remus huffed, eyes growing sharp. “Oooh~” He sing-songed jabbing a finger into Patton’s chest. “Did Sappy Pappy forget he’s the center of all of Thomas’s feelings?” 

Patton kicked back smearing paint across the Duke’s arm as he wiggled in his grip. No!...Yes…maybe? He...he was...the center...but….Patton pushed pointlessly against Remus’s fingers, his throat contracting with suppressed croaks. 

What did it matter what he was to Thomas? Feelings. Morality. He wasn’t doing a very good job of being either one right now. 

The Duke wiggled his eyebrows as he made a fart noise with his tongue. “Are you trying to only be happy again? Hide all your juicy twisty feelings? How booooring, Poppyseed. You gotta let it out!” 

NO! He shook his head. Letting out his...twisty feelings had only resulted in BAD Things. He’d become a giant frog! That wasn’t good. 

Now you’re a small frog. Is that any better?

“Guess what, Potthead.” Remus dipped one hand into a pan of green paint, flicking his fingers at Patton’s face. “Hate is a feeling.” 

He flinched, raising a shaking toe finger hand thingy to rub the paint off his face, giving a loud ribbit of disagreement. Hate was such a...a strong word.  

Remus rolled his eyes, plopping Patton down in a pan of orange paint, speaking over his croak of disgust at suddenly being surrounded by more cold slimy ickiness. 

“That’s not bad, Pottycake.” The Duke said, easily catching Patton as he jumped out of the paint and plopped him into a different can of pink slime before he could blink. “You don’t have to like everything you encounter or everyone you meet.” 

Of course not, but that didn’t mean he--Thomas couldn’t pretend! Patton wiped the paint from his eyes before he doggy--froggy paddled over to the edge.

Things worked a lot more smoothly when Thomas was nice and happy.

Only it hadn’t worked out doing that this time had it?

Patton pressed his lips together, chest aching as he heaved himself out of the can. 

It didn’t matter. It would work out eventually. He just had to keep up the positive attitu--

Remus scooped him up, careless of how Patton struggled in his grip, getting slime and goo all over himself. “You know…” he clicked his tongue, dribbling purple paint all over Patton’s back. “I don’t need you to like me, or tell me exactly how you feel, but that feeling is a part of you.”

‘NO!’ He didn’t want it to be. 

The Duke’s eyes grew sharp as he lowered his hand, chuckling as Patton sprang from his grip, narrowly avoiding landing in any other pans, his feet leaving multi-colored prints over the dark floors. “It’s a part of good old Tomalongadingdong that won’t go away, Potty, no matter how much you try and shove it into a dark dusty corner and forget about it.” 

Repression can be bad.

It was--he knew that. Patton forced himself to keep hopping, crying out in frustration as he was easily grabbed around the middle and plopped back into the Duke’s lap. 

Remus had proved that as Thomas’s Intrusive Thoughts despite Patton’s best efforts to keep Thomas from ever knowing that his Dark Creativity even existed. That the bad thoughts could be--be--okay. That just because they were there didn’t mean Thomas himself was...bad. But knowing was not the same as...as...accepting. 

And he wasn’t about to accept being stuck here with Remus any longer than he had to. Patton scrunched up his face, concentrating on gathering his limbs together for a more coordinated hop. Even if he wanted to express his icky feelings--which he didn’t!--there was...wasn’t anyone left he could...could go to.  Who would ever need you? When all you do is more harm than good? 

Remus tsked, scooping Patton up and dropping him in a large can of blue paint before he could spring away.  

GAH! That. WAS. IT. ‘Would you QUIT it!’ He yelled as he surfaced, splashing paint back up at Remus’s face. 

It was bad enough already being stuck here without any hope of the others coming to get him without continuously getting tossed into paint along with it! 

He froze as the Duke threw his head back with a loud laugh.

Oh no. 

“Oooh.” Remus’s eyes glittered as he lowered his head, teeth flashing as he grinned, blue paint dripping from his moustache into his mouth. “Patteywattey has some fight to him!”

‘NO!’ Patton recoiled with a strangled croak. He’d fought far too much earlier today as that--as--tha--as the Monstrous Frog! He’d--he’d attacked Leslie, Lee and Mary-Lee. He’d even attacked Thomas without realizing--He’d--No. NO NO NO. NO FIGHTING. EVER.

He ducked down, letting the paint cover him completely, a hollow ache in his chest. He had made another stupid stupid mistake splashing back. Fighting back. That wasn’t supposed to be him! If he wanted Remus to leave him alone he shouldn’t have encouraged him by action! It should have been through words---

What words? You’re a frog. All you can do is Croak. 

It wasn’t like words had helped earlier either. Not when he didn’t...when he hadn’t known the right things to say. 

Patton felt rather than heard the splash of something else entering the paint can with him before reaching fingers grabbed him, pulling him free of the paint, if not of Remus’s grip. 

“Hiding from a fight isn’t very fun.” The Duke said as warm liquid splashed over Patton’s body, washing away the heavy weight of the paint covering him. “But then again.” His blue moustache came into view, tongue stuck out between his teeth as he carefully wiped around Patton’s eyes with a green stained towel. “You fighting against me would be really weird, Pops, despite how often you’ve threatened violence against our dear old Virgin.” He smirked.

I will physically fight you. 

Patton shuddered, gripping onto Remus’s fingers as another wave of icky feelings rushed through him, choking him to the point he could barely breathe. 

Again and again. He was reminded that he could do nothing right no matter how hard he tried. 

Virgil.

Logan.

Roman. 

Despite his efforts...he’d let them all down one after the other.

Just like the deadbeat fathers in all those tv shows.

He was a failure through and throu--

“The thing is….”  Patton looked up as Remus ran the towel down his back before setting him on the half-made bed. 

“It’s just goo and paint, Pattycake.” Remus gestured around his room to the various multi-colored splotches before resting his arms on the bed. “Using it to create--” He placed a sheet of paper on the bed along with a tube of paint, squirting a glob of red into the center of the page. “It’s just a way to express your feelings. All your feelings” He said dipping a finger into the paint, trailing it over the black sheet creating a--. 

Patton winced, looking away from the crude image. 

“There’s nothing bad about getting those feelings out. It’s what Creativity is for.” He wiggled his shoulders suggestively as he flicked his fingers at Patton splattering him with red droplets. “Didn’t you once say that you liked playing with the stuff?” 

My channel would have videos of me playing with goo and mixing paint. 

Patton frowned down at his hands, squeezing his toe finger things into fists before relaxing them on the page. It felt like a lifetime ago though. Back when he’d been trying to include Anxiety in their group. Back before everything---He hadn’t even thought about sticking his fingers into a tub of goo in ages. Not when he’d been trying so hard to keep Thomas happy. 

And failing.

“Now’s your chance, Patcasso.” With a wave of his hand the image on the paper vanished, leaving the single glob of red paint once more untouched. Remus winked as he scooped up Patton, depositing him on the large sheet right next to the glob of paint. “Stop repressing. Paint.” 

Repressing Depression can also be bad. 

But...But….painting? How could that hel--

Remus hummed, dipping his finger into the paint, idly drawing a heart right next to him. “The Heart becomes a Frog.” He murmured. “Just like one of those prudishly dull fairytale quests my dear old brother enjoys huh? With the kissing and the happily ever afters.” 

Had enjoyed...it wasn’t like Roman would want to---Patton drew in a shuddering breath before shakily dipping his hand into the paint, drawing a jagged line down the middle of the heart. 

No one loved him. 

The Duke’s eyebrows rose, eyes gleaming as he leaned forward. “A broken heart? Oooo~I do love an unhappy story.” With a wave of his hand, the rest of the rainbow appeared as globs of paint on the page. “Go on.” He encouraged, resting his arms on the bed. “What fly got into your soup?” 

Go on? But he had no idea where to start. It was just--too much. He’d been wrong--so strict and set in his ways for so long, he didn’t even know where the problems had begun between him and the others! Today was just the latest addition to a very very long list of--and--he shoved both hands into the red paint, smearing it across the heart with a muted croak. Red for his failure with Roman.

We love you. 

….Right. 

The hurt. He’d tried so hard to--but--red streaked fingers dug into the yellow paint, as he drew a lopsided crown on top of the heart, the yellow marred by lines of red. Roman refused to answer the door. To let him do what he did best. Comfort others.

Hence why everyone has shut their doors to you huh. You’re sooo good at comforting. 

Another lie. Another falsehood. What good was Morality? What good were Feelings if he couldn’t--

He shoved his hands into the dark blue paint, drawing another wobbly heart with a line through it followed by a large smear and then a ragged tie. Logan. 

Another broken heart. This one purple. Followed by the cloud and a lightning bolt. Virgil.

All streaked through with yellow. With Janus. With Deceit. 

How many times can you say sorry? 

Not enough. Never enough. He--he--Patton slammed his fists into the paint sending it flying all over the bed, chest aching as he closed his eyes.

“....Patton?” 

He shook his head, ignoring Remus. It didn’t help. Painting didn’t help. The icky feelings were still there. If he was feeling icky how could he ever hope to--

Patton gasped, jerking as splotchy green arms suddenly wrapped around him in a warm hug, squeezing him far more tightly than he was comfortable with. 

He looked up, meeting the dark eyes of another frog, one with blue tipped black spikes sticking out from his upper lip. 

Remus? Why had he--why was he hold--why was he a FROG?!

The frog gave a watery croak, holding Patton close in an embrace that was so warm it sent a wave of soothing heat through him. 

Oh Crofters...He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been hugged.

It felt--it felt---He melted into the other’s arms, burying his head against the Duke’s chest as the dam he’d tried so hard to build to hold back his tears crumbled like so much dust, leaving him sobbing in a series of squeaky croaks against the Dark Side. 

Remus made a buzzing noise, nearly like a hum as he rocked Patton back and forth, keeping up the steady too tight pressure around him. 

It shouldn’t make him cry harder. Yet Patton found himself doing just that, hot tears trailing down his cheeks. It had been so long. So long since anyone had done this with him. He’d never expected Remus of all Sides to instigate a hug with him, not when he’d spent so many years trying to keep the Duke from influencing Thomas’s everyday life. By all rights, Remus should hate him for being so strict. Should want nothing to do with him.

And here he was.

Hugging Patton.

Comforting him.

Trying to help in his own odd Remusey way.

It left him feeling all tingly inside, like butterflies dancing inside an inflating balloon as electric pulses danced across his skin. 

Fresh tears leaked through his closed eyelids. It should end soon. All hugs had to end. Remus had to pull away at some point to leave Patton feeling all cold and icky again.

And yet…

Remus didn’t move. 

The Dark Side wasn’t known for his long attention span, always fidgeting or spouting out a new topic of conversation.

But here he was...holding tight unto Patton without showing any signs of releasing his grip, his warmth as constant and steady as the Duke’s heartbeat. 

Patton drew in a shuddering breath, eyelids fluttering. He didn’t deserve this. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, voice hoarse, barely registering that actual words left his mouth instead of croaks.

Remus huffed, adjusting his grip for the first time to run his fingers through Patton’s hair, sending a shiver down his spine. “Apology accepted, Padre.”

Accepted? Just like that? No questions? Patton trembled, breath hitching, not quite believing he’d heard correctly. “Y-you--why?” 

“Mmm?” 

Patton steeled himself before looking up, registering Remus’s very human face inches from his own. His regular sized face. Not a giant one. Which meant...he’d somehow shifted back to his normal self while bawling his eyes out. “Y-you di-didn’t ask why I-I-I was sor-sorry.” 

Remus made a clicking sound with his tongue, as he trailed his fingers down the back of Patton’s neck, eyes glittering. “Do you know why you were saying sorry?” 

Patton blinked, mouth half open with no idea what to say, his mind racing as he raised a shaking hand to scrub at his wet cheeks. There was...it was hard to explain! “I…” 

Remus chuckled. “Then it’s sewage under the bridge, Patters. I don’t need to know why. You just needed to know I accept. Right? Make you feel better?”  

He...he did feel a little better. “I--but--that--” Patton growled, shaking his head. “Tha-that’s not how apologies work!” 

“Says who? Cus they’re wrong.” Remus winked. “Besides I got to see your rosy cheeks and it was well worth the wait.” He met Patton’s eyes before deliberately looking down. 

Patton looked down as well and squeaked, practically throwing himself off of the Duke’s lap, knocking the paint covered paper to the ground in his desperation to grab a blanket to wrap around his waist, ears burning as Remus collapsed in a fit of giggles, his own--his own...rosy cheeks just as exposed as Patton’s had been. “WHY ARE WE NAKED?!” He demanded, voice cracking.

Sure he’d felt his glasses and hoodie fall from him when he’d changed into the tiny frog, but he hadn’t realized the rest of his--He shuddered again feeling Remus’s tongue against his bare back. No wonder it had been so--but he was human again! He should be wearing clothes! He’d had his outfit unmarred after he’d changed back from being that monster frog! 

Remus rolled to his side and Patton flushed harder, looking away, pulling the blanket up to his neck, getting a wift of lemons as he did so. 

“Never changed into an animal before have you?” He remarked, a wicked grin crossing his face. “Clothes can’t shift with you when you do that. You just leave them behind.” He pointed to his own pile of clothes on the paint covered floor.  

Patton gulped, twisting the blanket in his hands. “But Deceit!”

“Shifts between people.” Remus waved a hand dismissively. “That’s different. People wear clothes. You’ve never seen him change into a snake in front of you have you?”  No….but! ”But that-- my clothes! Earlier! I kept--”

Remus raised an eyebrow as he rolled off the bed, heading leisurely to his closet. “Were you a real frog earlier?”

Patton paused, mouth half opened. He--he--well they had been in a video game formant at the time he’d--he’d changed. Did...did that not count?

“Thought not.” Remus reemerged, thankfully wearing a tank top and very very short shorts as he tossed a wad of fabric at Patton’s head, the clothes vanishing just before hitting him only to reappear on his body. 

If he hadn’t done cloth swaps before with the...with everyone else before, that would have been---Patton shoved the thought from his mind, drawing in a shaky breath, reluctantly lowering the blanket to see just exactly what Remus had dressed him in. 

His fingers brushed over the black tank top with a picture of a kraken wrapped around a broken ship, to land on a pair of pajama bottoms that made it look like he had a multitude of tentacles instead of two legs.  

Remus gave him a critical once over before flopping back onto the bed. “Satisfied Mr. Monk? I’m sure that outfit won’t upset your delicate tastes too much.” He winked. “Though I can always dress you in something more--” he popped his lips.

It wasn’t his favorite get up... but it was much better than--than a lot of things he could imagine Remus wearing. Imagine Remus trying to get him to wear to get a reaction from him. Patton bit his lip, looking back up. “Why are you being so….nice? To me?” He whispered.

 Remus tilted his head at an unnatural angle to look at him, his eyebrows raised. 

There is no rhyme or reason to what I do, I just do.

Right. Patton flushed, looking away. Remus just...did things. Not just bad things apparently. Good things too. “Sorry. I just---no one…” He cut off as his voice cracked, blinking as his eyes began to burn again. “I...I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Recently. I--I thought you’d--” 

“Kick you while you were down?”

Patton bit his lip, pulling his knees up to his chest, grateful his tentacle patterned pj bottoms were pants instead of a pair of short shorts. “...Yah.” The Dark Side of Creativity liked doing things like that...didn’t he?

Remus twisted, shimming up to flop between Patton and the wall. “It was tempting.” He admitted, tapping a random pattern on Patton’s arm as he smoothed down his moustache with his other hand, “but considering you just cried hard enough to fill like twenty toilets--” He shrugged. “There’s only so many times you can kick a dead horse before it’s no longer fun. Seemed like you needed a breather from being hit.”

Patton swallowed over the lump in his throat as he relaxed his grip on his knees, turning his head to Remus. “Yah...I-I did.” 

Remus smirked. “As a frog though? You know there is this delectably bitter frog leg soup I’ve been itching to make and your legs--” He smacked his lips, eyes dancing with laughter as he stared at Patton. “Are quite shapely.”

And he thought his face couldn’t grow any hotter. At this rate he would give himself a sunburn from blushing so hard. “I--I-” 

Why did Remus have to go and say THAT. Despite his legs already being covered with his pants, Patton pulled the blanket back over them, hiding them from view. 

“Soo sensitive.” Remus teased, his feet prodding at Patton’s covered ones.

He was Feelings. He just--he pushed his feet against Remus’s, shoving them back. “I’m not used to--” 

“Ah yes.” Remus propped himself up on one elbow, rolling his eyes as his knee knocked against Patton’s calf. “Roman’s compliments are a bit more tame aren’t they? Something more boring about how you’re super sweet and like unto fields of flowers and being like the Sun and other trite drivel?” 

Patton bit his lip, a hollow pang echoing through his chest at the sound of Roman’s name. “...I don’t think he’ll be saying anything like that...to me….for a while.” Probably never again.

Remus froze for half a breath before he twisted, forcing his head between Patton’s chest and his legs so that he could use his stomach as a pillow. 

Roman used to do that. 

Patton swallowed over the lump in his throat, staring down at the Duke as he made himself comfortable. 

He should push him away. 

But at the same time...he--he missed...moments like this. Where it--it felt like someone wanted to be in his bubble. Wanted to stay near him. 

“I do love an unhappy story.” Remus remarked, bracing his feet against the wall as he gave Patton a feral grin that quickly softened as he stared up into his eyes. “But,” He raised a hand to brush at Patton’s wet cheeks, fingers coming away with flecks of paint on them as he dropped his hand to his lips, tongue flicking out to lick his fingers. “...I don’t think you should tell it tonight. A scab isn’t fun to pick at if it’s still fresh you know.” 

Patton bit his lip, blinking to keep his vision from blurring. “Right.” He managed to choke out. 

He didn’t know when this..this would not be fresh though. Would it ever...ever scab over if Roman--if Virg--Lo...if he was constantly left alone on the Light Side--

A warm hand again pressed against his cheek. “You’re welcome to stay, you know.” 

Patton drew in a shuddering breath, leaning into the Duke’s palm. “Huh?” He was...welcome? Here? 

“The night. For a breather. Be away from everyone. Seems like you need it. Though--” Remus’s eyes lit up with laughter as he gestured with his other hand around the low lit room. “I do only have the one bed.” 

Patton jerked, face burning as hot as the sun as he shoved Remus off him. “REMUS!” His voice shouldn’t sound that strangled. But. AH!

The Duke’s infectious laughter rang through the room as Remus rolled back to his spot between the wall and the bed, giving Patton as much space as he could on the twin sized bed. 

He may be more naive than the others in some aspects, but after finding some of the stuff that the Fanders had written about them...he--he--knew what that particular phrase could imply. “You could create another.” He said, once Remus’s laughter had died down to faint giggles, hating how high his voice still was. “You’re Creativity too!” 

“I could.” He easily agreed, shoulders still shaking with silent laughter. “but that’s not Fun. I wouldn’t be able to hear your breathing if you weren’t right here,” Remus dropped his voice seductively, smoothing down his moustache. “Next to me.”

If he got out of this room without getting third-degree burns from blushing Patton would be amazed. “I--I--stop it!” 

Remus tilted his head at that unnatural angle, his foot darting out to tap his toes again. “Stop what? You’re the one still here, Patters. On my bed. I haven’t tied you to it with fluffy handcuffs or anything though I could give you some. In your favorite shade of blue even.” He snickered. “Ooooooh, I’m sure I could make you squea--” He cut off as Patton shoved a pillow into his face.

He! He! Patton fell on top of the pillow, muffling his voice as he--he wasn’t sure if he was screaming or not, but AGH. Remus was--was so! So!!

An arm snaked around the pillow tapping Patton’s head before trailing down his neck. “Why haven’t you left?” Remus asked, his voice barely understandable through the pillow. He wiggled, the tip of his nose peeking out. “You can any time you know. I know you don’t like me, Pats. Don’t stay on my account.”  He--yah...he---he could leave. Should have left as soon as he realized he was again. Synced back to his room. To the light sides...to--to the loneliness. “If you know I--I don’t---lik--I haven’t been that--that good to you Remus. Why are you being nice to me?” Patton whispered reaching up to grab The Duke’s hand before it could trail further down his back. 

“Thomas is nice.” Remus said simply, going lax under him, his fingers twisting to squeeze Patton’s. “I’m just nice...differently.” 

He didn’t understand. Had never fully understood Remus nor his purpose. But this-- Patton tightened his grip. “Well it’s...I...I need nice right now. To feel--” Loved. Wanted. He trailed off, trying to keep his voice from wobbling. Was that pathetic of him? Wanting to stay when Remus was talking to him when no one else would? When he was instigating touch without Patton having to ask? “And..and you’re...you’re being nice...you hugged me and I just--” He cut off with a squeak as the pillow suddenly vanished, sending him right into Remus’s chest, the Duke’s arms wrapping around him in that too tight grip, fingers trailing through his hair.

“Let me hold you then.” Remus whispered. “If that’s what you need.” 

It was. He--he needed--Patton trembled, fingers gripping the Duke’s shirt as he pressed his face into his chest, breathing in the scent of lemons. “I’m sorry...it’s---”

Remus huffed a laugh into his ear, squeezing him tighter. “Apology accepted.” 

[dopesotherstuff]

The Turncoat P1 Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ash

Silent seconds slid past as I sat across the bars from the vampire in the cage. Neither of us spoke.

He had a red, cross-shaped patch on his forehead. Enough “persuasion” and it would turn into a black-edged burn that went all the way down to the bone. Not one day ago, I wouldn’t have had a problem with that. Now, suddenly, I did.

“So are you supposed to be the good cop to his bad, or something?” he rasped finally, looking up at me through the hanging curtain of his hair. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t know anything about what goes on Downtown. I told the guy twice.”

“I’m not going to ask you about that. But I do need to ask you some things.”

“I won’t give up my friends,” he said quickly, and then blinked in confusion when I shook my head. 

“It’s not about that either.” I looked over at the dock crew, who were hauling in a shipment of weapons. None of them were paying me a bit of attention. I was trusted--at least, apparently, by everyone around here but Bach. “It’s about you.”

He scowled, but there was more curiosity in his eyes than fear now. “What about me?”

“How the hell did you even get caught? I’ve only been sent after vampires who were killing people.”

He sat there blinking for a few moments before one eyebrow lifted. “How do you know I haven’t been killing people?”

I eyed him. “Come on, kid, don’t insult my intelligence. You’re as scared as a green recruit in that goddamned cage.”

He looked away sullenly. “Fuck you.” But his tone was spiritless.

“No shame in innocence, lad. But it’s not exactly what I’ve come to expect from a bloodsucker.”

He looked up at me slowly. “You don’t know shit about me. Or anyone like me. You just think we’re a bunch of Sabbat monsters or something.”

Sabbat. I made a mental note of the name. “I only know what I’ve been exposed to. If you want to tell me differently, I’m all fucking ears at this point.”

He leaned forward, hissing his words in sudden, bitter anger. “We’re people, you fucking fanatic. Good, evil, we’ve got the whole mix. Do you judge every human by the crime families and serial killers? If you’re going after the assholes killing people, that’s all you’ve seen of us. But that’s not all there is! Your b-bosses just don’t give a shit--they want genocide! You heard that guy yourself!” He sagged after the speech, as if it had exhausted him, but then dragged his head up to meet my gaze again.

His words hit me hard. I sat back on my heels, struggling with them, but refusing to dismiss them. It all made sense…but it also made my life a million times more complicated. And it made my mission…the Society’s mission…Bach’s mission…seem all that much more questionable.

“A lot of us have lost loved ones to your kind,” I kept my voice low and as calm as I could. “That makes it a bit fucking difficult to--”

“Did I kill them?” he asked me softly.

I closed my eyes, thinking of Amy, of my dead comrades and their dead loved ones, of the things I had seen. And then…of those young soldiers in the cages next to mine, screaming in agony. How monstrous could humans be? Was every one of us to be judged for the actions of individual evil men?

“No,” I said softly.

“Then why am I being punished for what some other fuckers did?” His voice choked, and when I looked up his eyes were bright with tears.

“I…” I let out all my breath. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m talking to you.”

He swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut. “Please, just kill me. I know you’ll never let me go. And once that fucker comes back again…” His lips trembled and he gritted his teeth against a sob. “Just kill me.”

I rose to my feet, staring down at him, and suddenly, I was tempted. The kid was doomed, after all. Nobody ever left the cages alive. Killing him quickly was the kindest thing I could do for him. I’d get into trouble for it, but--

“Councillor Willoughby,” a voice called down the tunnel suddenly. I stiffened; that tenor voice with the sharp German accent was instantly recognizable to anyone in the Cenacle. A few moments later, soft footsteps announced him before Bach emerged from the tunnel mouth. 

He stared at me, then at the boy I was guarding. I only saw him blink once. Before now, I had seen him as intimidating, fanatical, even magical. But I had never before been struck by just how unnerving the man was. In that moment, as I turned to him and inclined my head in acknowledgment, he seemed less human than the boy in the cage--and I couldn’t place why.

“My office, five minutes,” he said ominously. Then he turned on his heel and walked over to inspect the weapon shipment.

…Shit.

I glanced back at Ash again, staring hopelessly up at me through the bars. I’m sorry, I mouthed, not daring to speak to him aloud in Bach’s earshot.

Bach’s office was on the second floor, behind three layers of security that he probably needed less than the rest of us. I waited for the guards to turn off the laser tripwires, then walked in, knowing he would already be there when I got in even though I had walked up ahead of him. Again, unnerving.

He was standing with his back to me as I walked in, staring out the bright oval of one of the monastery windows. His big, square hands were clasped behind his back, and he didn’t move as I came in to stand dutifully in front of his desk.

“Do you know why I chose to take you into my Cenacle, Willoughby?” he asked without preamble.

“I only know what you told me, Sir,” I replied in an even voice.

“What I told you is that you are a capable warrior with extensive training who knows how to follow orders in extreme circumstances. And I have indeed seen you use those skills to our advantage time and again.”

I relaxed only slightly at the praise. “I have done my best, Sir.” And now I’ve found out that you lied to me, over and over again. But there was no asking Grunfeld Bach his reasons for anything.

“Yes. I heard about your victory in the Eastern part of the city. Well done. But I did not bring you up here to praise you.” 

“Sir?”

He turned around, walking over to face me across the desk. “I have received a report from Brother Bellamy that you have been asking…questions…about the nature of our foes.”

Oh, that fucking little rat. But I should have expected Bach to find out somehow. My eyebrows went up. “I noticed some unusual circumstances with one of the captives and inquired after it. I don’t see--”

“Your duties are to track, capture and kill those servants of Satan at my command,” he snarled suddenly, voice going high and strident and eyes filling with fire. “Not to intervene in interrogations, and certainly not to seek out intelligence that is unrelated to your assigned tasks!”

“But Sir--”

He held up an imperious finger. “Do not question me, Councillor. You are a hunter, not an interrogator or scholar. You cannot grasp the ways in which the Devil uses his servants to confuse and entrap us, so do not try. Let your superiors do the thinking.”

There was far more warning in his eyes than in the words of his little speech. His ferocious gaze promised that there would be no second conversation about this. 

I didn’t know what happened to hunters who displeased Bach enough for him to want rid of them, but somehow, I didn’t think they ended up transferred to another team. The underground cove where we swept vampire remains had room for a lot of bones, and I already knew how disposable people were to Bach.

“Yes Sir,” I said solemnly, feeling the sickness and anger inside of me deepen.

“Good.” He turned and went back to his window. “Dismissed.”

I spent the rest of the day as I always did when not on assignment: practice, Mass, meals, reports. But my practice was distracted, and Mass sounded hollow. I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t focus on typing up even a few paragraphs on the vampires I had killed in East LA.

They made Ash scream off and on all day.

I had to walk around pretending I didn’t hear it, when it was almost all I could hear. I had to pretend that it wasn’t happening. That it didn’t matter. That the doubts, the anger, the lies, weren’t mounting up inside of my head as I went back over the last decade of my life and saw how I had been used.

The Society had always said that vampires, like every other supernatural being, were part of Satan’s army of the Apocalypse, even if they didn’t know it. I had never fully bought into this idea, but now I realized it fully for the lie it was.

That didn’t mean I had the truth yet. But as Ash’s pleas for mercy, for death, seemed to reach me in every single fucking corner of the monastery, the pressure inside of me built and built.

At supper, just after Grace, I looked down at my steel tray of Salisbury steak and peas, and then sighed and slowly pushed it away from me. 

“You all right?” One of my bunkmates, Leiman, was sitting across from me. He peered at me through the fringe of his dark bangs. 

I licked my lips. “Touchy stomach,” I said finally, while I felt my whole body thrum with tension. “Think I’ll try a nap.”

“Bad luck,” he said, eyes already locked on my meal. “Mind if I eat that?”

I got up from the bench and stepped back from the table. “Go right ahead.”

I walked out of the mess hall stiff-backed, almost gingerly, forcing myself to keep to a regular pace until the door closed behind me and I was alone. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, hearing another sobbing cry from Bellamy’s young victim.

God, give me strength.

I walked quickly to the bunkhouse, trying not to listen too hard to Ash begging his torturer to stop. Fortunately, the room was empty when I got there.

I opened my locker and, very methodically, emptied it out into my rucksack. Weapons, gear, clothes, my single photograph of Amy, all the ammunition that wouldn’t fit in my belt. I buckled on my body armor, put on my flak jacket, and holstered my Glock 18 under my arm. Slung the rucksack across my shoulders, and took a deep breath.

Another of Ash’s agonized screams echoed through the tunnels. The faint whiff of burned flesh hit my nostrils even back in the bunks. And then he started sobbing again, like a scared little boy who had lost any kind of hope.

My eyes narrowed. 

I turned to look at the last thing I had left behind--one of Bach’s King James Bibles, worn from my thumbing through it. Night after night, I had searched it for justification for what Bach had done. For the way he used us like cannon fodder, and innocents like acceptable losses. For what they were doing to that kid in the cage, right now.

I had found nothing. Because there was nothing to find. In fact…right now, I wondered if God was involved in any of this.

I left the book behind. I wasn’t even Catholic in the first place.

I stepped out the door of the bunkhouse, walking down to the docks again. None of the men I passed in the tunnel looked at me twice. I looked exactly like I always did whenever I went out on a mission, except that the bag was a bit more full.

I walked out onto the damp stone and headed for the cage where Brother Bellamy was leaning over a cringing, weeping Ash with a blessed cross in his hand. Bellamy was red-faced, grinning, Bach’s wild ugliness in his eyes. He barely glanced up at me as I drew near and calmly set down my bag.

“Are you going out again?” he said, staying half in the cage--but at least the cross was off Ash’s face now. 

“The work of destroying evil never ends,” I said solemnly. 

“Good on you, kill a few for me,” he chuckled thickly. “I’ll be busy here the rest of the evening. Got this freak here crying like a baby girl. Most fun I’ve had in a week!” 

His cruel grin widened. He raised the cross again and leaned toward Ash, who cringed away from it, smoke still rising from the wound on his cheek from the last contact. His terror only made my associate of three years laugh low in his throat. Anticipating the next scream. 

The work of destroying evil never ends.

I drew my Glock and shot Bellamy in the back of the head.

[re-diesirae]

10. Claire

Claire staggered, but she did her best to hide it. Her headache had hit her out of sudden, piercing her skull like an ice peak hammered into her brain. The pain made her dizzy, and that made her way through the forest harder.

Despite the discomfort, Claire kept quiet. The last thing she wanted -or needed- was to worry Leon and delay their way even more.

Her will power was strong, but unfortunately, her body would not cooperate. Her legs were weak and shaky, so she was struggling to keep herself on her feet.

Great. What's wrong with you, Claire? I was alright up until now. Why did the headache return?

Claire blamed the hike. She had a decent physical condition, maybe not as good as Leon or Chris, but she could handle the exercise. However, hiking had never been something she liked, and the effort she had to put into climbing the rocky surface was most likely the cause of the return of her headache.

"We should find refuge before the sun goes down completely," Leon said, stopping to look at Claire.

Leon's sudden decision to stop and find refuge took her by surprise. Usually, he would be more into the plan of moving faster and wasting no time trying to rest.

"If you are correct, those monsters will come out as soon as the sun goes down."

Leon had a point.

"Uhm, you are right," Claire sighed.

Claire saw Leon give her an encouraging smile.

"Besides, it's been a long day. We need to rest," Leon said, cleaning the sweat from his forehead. "We are both tired, and we need our strength to fight. Pushing ourselves to the limit is a stupid decision."

Claire rubbed her neck and sighed. When he put it like that, Leon was right. A tired body was not as effective, and in their current predicament, effectiveness and sharpness were everything.

"You're right," she said, "The question is where?"

Claire did not want to admit it, but she was grateful for Leon's decision to call it a day. Her headache was making her nauseous again, and she was not sure of how long she could keep up her facade.

After walking around the cliff for a while, they found a small cave, hidden between some bushes. It was not a five stars hotel room, but it would serve its purpose.

Leon made sure the cave was clear before they finally settled down inside, and Claire watched him pick up some branches and plants and to make a makeshift door to camouflage the entrance. It's a smart move; it might have been useless to keep foes out, but at least it would keep them concealed.

Claire's snorted to herself. The Leon she'd met years before would not have been so thoughtful, but the Leon beside her now was no longer a rookie cop but an experienced agent. His years of service had made him a cunning man.

"So that's what the government teaches their agents? How to make woodland crafts?" Claire asked playfully.

Leon smirked, putting the "door" in its place.

"Sure," he answered in the same playful tone, "It's rule 4 in How to be an agent 101."

Claire laughed as he followed her joke. At least, his sense of humor had not changed. It was a comforting thought.

Suddenly, Claire felt an electric pain hit her, and she rested her head against the cave's wall, hoping that it would pass soon.

"Chris would kill us if he saw us," she whispered.

"Why?"

"Keep yourself focused. No time for jokes," Claire said in a low voice that tried to mimic Chris's grunt.

Leon laughed at the impression, and she smiled. She felt a little guilty for mocking her brother, but Claire knew that Chris would most likely react that way.

"Sounds about right," Leon laughed, "I can't picture Chris joking around in normal circumstances, even less in a mission."

"I keep telling him that sometimes a little humor is what you need to keep yourself going."

"Maybe he needs to learn. You should teach him."

Claire found Leon's suggestion ironic. She teaching Chris how to relax was a crazy idea when the woman was the worst example of relaxation. Family always had its perks, and Claire knew that she was not too different from Chris in many things.

"Uh, I doubt he will be willing to learn from me," Claire chuckled, "but Chris wasn't always like that, you know. He used to be a little more chill."

With their current job, Claire had very few chances to meet her brother. Sometimes she didn't see his face in more than six months, which made the changes in his personality even more noticeable.

"Chill?" Leon said incredulously, "Is that even possible?"

"You are one to talk. Each time I see you, you're grumpier than before," Claire said, resting her chin on her knees.

If there was someone she saw less than her brother, that was Leon. They were good friends since surviving the Raccoon incident created a strong bond between them. That friendship survived distance and time, but the few times Claire had met Leon, she had noticed the change in his character. The friendly and naive rookie had disappeared, and instead, the cool-headed, serious, and quiet agent had taken his place.

Everyone around her seemed to change each time she saw them.

Am I the only one who doesn't seem to change?

Change scares you. Metathesiophobia is a condition, too.

The tiny voice in the back of her mind made her headache stronger, but she ignored it. It wasn't the first time that Claire had monologues with her inner ghosts, but today the phantom voices seemed more active.

"Then, maybe I should ask you to teach me, too," he snorted.

"What are you saying?" Claire said, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes, I feel like I should be more like you two."

Leon shook his head, and Claire wondered what the agent was thinking?

"You are perfect the way you are, Claire. It is enough with one Chris Redfield or me in this world. There's no need to add another one into the equation," he said, "and honestly, the world would be a better place with more people like you."

"If there were more people like me, the world would be chaos," Claire snorted bitterly, "I caused a lot of trouble because of my naiveness."

"It sounds like you are too hard on yourself, Claire."

He doesn't get it, does he?

Would he say the same if he knew all the pain you have caused?

Claire grabbed her head and rubbed her temple. The voices in her head were becoming annoying, and suddenly, her ears filled up with an electric buzzing that messed up with her focus. She looked at Leon and caught him deep in thought, and suddenly, she felt oddly comforted.

"And you guys are just too soft on me," Claire snorted bitterly, "When I think back of all the things I've messed up..."

Claire looked blankly at the wall in front of her. She could feel Leon's gaze in the dark, and she was glad that he couldn't see her. The pain in her head was getting worse, and she feared that the agent would notice it. Luckily for her, Leon's attention was somewhere else.

Leon reached for his gun. The man looked alarmed, and she knew the reason as soon as she heard the distant roar.

Claire recognized it immediately. She had heard the same howls the night before when she had seen the two monsters in town.

She followed Leon to the cave entrance and peeked outside.

Claire held her breath as she watched the disfigured monster eat the smaller ones, and as if the scene wasn't horrible enough, the creature's body began to contort and twist into a more monstrous being.

"What the..." Leon whispered.

Ah, poor thing. It is mutating. Sad, sad.

"It's mutating, I think..." Claire said.

"Mutating?" Leon looked at her, confused.

"Yes, that's how it looks."

"Is it the one you saw yesterday?" he asked.

Claire shook her head.

"No, this one looks different."

Something was wrong about that creature. Claire stared at the blood dripping from the creature's mouth, the tissue falling from its body, and the raw muscle underneath the torn skin. The image made Claire's stomach twist. Considering her background, that was something very odd as she had seen worse things before.

When they saw the monster crawl into the darkness, she was finally able to release the breath that she had been holding. Her heart was beating fast, and she was unsure of why she felt so agitated.

"I think I understand what you meant by bigger friends," Leon whispered."We didn't see anything like it during the day, so either we were lucky, or you are right, and they are nocturnal."

"B.O.W.s that come only during the night. Talk about nightmarish monsters..." Claire sighed, "I am just glad they didn't find us, but I've got the feeling that our luck won't be that good for too long."

"Well, we'll face it when it comes. Don't worry about it," Leon sighed.

They returned to the back of the cave and sat down quietly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Me?" she asked, surprised, "I'm peachy."

Leon looked at her skeptically.

"You can't fool me, Claire. You've been struggling since that climb we did," Leon said, "Is it your head? Is it bothering you again?"

Claire let out a vague snort and shook her head.

"I told you I didn't like hiking," she replied, "I am alright. My head bothers me a little when I am tired, but it's not bad. You should know how concussions work."

Leon's expression was unreadable, but Claire had the odd sensation that the man had not believed him.

"Yeah," Leon sighed, "Try resting a little."

"I had my share of sleep yesterday," Claire said, shaking her head, "You must be exhausted, though. You didn't sleep at all. You should be the one taking a nap."

"I work better with less sleep," he half lied.

Claire glared at him. Leon could be a super agent, but he was still human. Humans needed rest.

"Liar," Claire muttered. "You know you don't need to act all cool with me. Get some sleep, idiot. I'll take the first watch."

"Fine, but only if I can use your lap as a pillow," he joked.

Claire rolled her eyes. Leon could flirt at any moment. That was, probably, what made Leon, well, Leon. She smacked his arm and sighed.

"You are such a flirt, Leon. I guess that side of you has not changed," Claire chuckled. "Go to sleep, idiot."

She heard Leon laugh, and the sound made her feel a little better. If he could still laugh in this situation, things could work out.

Those are only hopes. Things never work out well when it comes to these situations.

"You know, I think you are the only person who dares to call me an idiot."

"Well, if I can call Chris an idiot, I can definitely call you an idiot."

The privilege of calling Chris an idiot was naturally Claire's right as his sister. She had called him all sorts of things in her life, and Chris had always let her.

"Now, I have to argue about that. No one would dare call Chris an idiot, but you have special treatment."

"Do I get special treatment with you?"

"Maybe..." Leon smirked.

"Do you tell all your partners that?"

"Only those who I like. What? Getting bored with paperwork and considering a career as an agent?"

"Nah, I am not agent material. You know that, Leon?"

"What are you talking about?" he chuckled, "You were agent material even before I was. Rushing into Raccoon City in search of Chris and saving Sherry, and taking care of all of us..."

"You sure are sentimental today," Claire snorted. "What's up with you today?"

"Well, this brings back memories," Leon sighed, "Can you blame me?"

"It does?" Claire asked.

"Yeah. I think I kind of missed this."

"Sleeping in a cave surrounded by bloodthirsty parasitic entities and mutant monsters? I can't say I share the sentiment, but who am I to judge?"

Claire waited for Leon to answer, but he did not, so she assumed he had fallen asleep already, and her lips curled into a victorious smirk.

No need to sleep my ass. Of course, you will fall asleep right away.

Leon had let her sleep the whole night before, which meant he had not gotten any sleep at all. One sleepless night, plus the walking and climbing they had done, would be enough to exhaust anyone.

The sudden silence, however, made Claire feel lonely, and she hugged her knees and rested her head against the wall. Some light beams crawled into the cave through the holes of their makeshift door.

It was quiet outside, and Claire felt a shudder crawl down her back. Somewhere out there, there were horrible monsters ready to kill them. Why were some people so fascinated about creating those monsters?

She would never understand the reasoning behind B.O.W.s. The creatures were uncontrollable; they could not distinguish friends from foes. They killed anything in their way, leaving a path of destruction. What kind of weapon was that?

Claire's gaze wandered to the man sitting in front of her. She felt a little guilty for dragging Leon into that pit, but at the same time, she was happy that he was there.

It's your fault. Leon shouldn't be here, but he came because he tried to help you.

Claire shook her head, trying to clear up her mind. She wanted to ignore that little voice, but she knew it was right. Leon wasn't supposed to be there. They had kidnapped her, not him, and he had only ended up there because of her. Another sudden thought crossed her mind, and she bit her lip with worry.

What if Chris and the others were in trouble, too?

Get a hold of yourself, Claire.

"How is it that I always end up in these situations?"

Claire didn't get the chance to reflect on her poor luck. She suddenly felt a cold shiver run down her back, and her head automatically turned to the entrance.

Claire was not sure what had prompted to look, but she suddenly felt very uneasy. She listened carefully, she could hear Leon's soft breathing, but the rest was quiet. No howls, no screams, no animals. Everything seemed tranquil. Then why did she feel alarmed?

Her ears soon caught a sound that she hadn't noticed until then. It was a low distant whistle. The sound was soft and hypnotic, almost as if it was calling at her. Without realizing it, she had gotten on her feet and started to walk to the entrance, but before she had reached the entry, she snapped back to reality.

Claire stood there looking confusedly at the complicated net of branches and leaves that Leon had knitted earlier.

What am I doing? she thought.

Unable to explain how she had suddenly appeared standing in front of the entrance, Claire was about to return to her spot at the end of the cave, but before she had even given a step, she heard the loud crack of breaking stone. Suddenly, she felt her body get pulled outside with a violent force. Her body crashed against the cave's door as she got pulled through it, and the branches managed to scratch the patches on naked skin unprotected by clothing, leaving red marks over her milkfish skin. The woman rolled a few feet over the grass before stopping when her back hit a tree painfully.

Claire groaned. She looked up, trying to understand what had happened when she saw the last thing she wanted to see. Her eyes went wide in horror. She reached for the rifle hanging on her back, and without thinking twice, she aimed and shot.

NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! JOIN SERVER

[purplecatghostposts]

Omg PLEASE write a part 2 for the Pining Gordon snippet you did, if you want! It was sooo cute and so fun to read them banter!!

Hell yes.

Continuation of This

There’s two requests for a part 2 so this is Part Two and THEN there’s gonna be a part thREE.

Unlike most of my shorts/drabbles, I actually came up with a title for this one. It’s called ‘Lights Out’

Edit: Adding a lil ‘Keep Reading’ thing since this got kinda long

——

Gordon’s first mission of ‘Don’t fall in love with the security guard’ failed. Now, his second mission of ‘Don’t flirt with the security guard’ is on the same downhill path.

In Gordon’s defense, it’s been a while, okay?

Before the Resonance Cascade, Gordon’s life was pretty cut and dry. Wake up, take Joshua to kindergarten, double and triple check that his babysitter would pick him up afterwards and if they couldn’t, contact the backup babysitter, and worst comes to worst, contact his ex.

Once he knows Joshua is in good hands, Gordon goes to work, spends most of his day there with the occasional bathroom and lunch break, might catch up with a few coworkers and have to turn down any offers to go out, then head straight home, cook dinner, ask Joshua how his day was, probably draw or watch TV with Joshua, put him to bed, go to sleep, and it starts up all over again.

Rinse and repeat. Being a single dad takes up most of his time, he hasn’t gone on an actual date since Joshua was born and Gordon and his partner decided to split, much less flirted with anyone. Not to mention, nobody’s flirted with him much either.

This isn’t new or unfamiliar territory but... Gordon kinda forgot what it was like to have this feeling in his chest.

Benrey yanks him out of the sight of a turret and when Gordon nearly falls, Benrey catches him just before you hit the ground. Gordon must look as bewildered and flustered as he feels because Benrey can’t hold back a snicker. “What, got two left feet or none at all, Gordon?”

“I’m gay- GREAT, I said I’m great.” Gordon sputtered, quickly standing up straight. Benrey must’ve not heard him because he looks more confused than smug, and Gordon knows he would’ve looked smug if he heard him.

“Whatever you say.” Benrey shrugs, letting it go.

Gordon got off the hook this time but he’s losing it. The latch on Benrey’s helmet broke so Benrey has been wearing his helmet less and less as of late and all Gordon can think of is the fact that he so badly wants to touch his hair.

The idea of asking embarrasses him. How is he supposed to defend himself? Or worse, Benrey is chill enough to where he’d let him. What is Gordon even supposed to do if he says yes? He hasn’t even got that far, every time his mind tries to imagine it, Gordon’s heart palpitates and he has to chill out before Benrey notices.

Assuming he hasn’t already. Benrey’s not an idiot and Gordon’s not a great actor. The inevitability of him putting two and two together is there and it looms over him.

The longer they spend time alone, the longer Gordon can feel himself becoming more and more comfortable with him.

They settle down in a quiet corner of Black Mesa, an office that’s a little worse for wear but it has a door meaning they’ll hear if anyone comes in. The heat must be broken around these parts because Gordon finds himself shivering for once.

A hand reaches over and flicks his nose, because Benrey can never get his attention the normal way, can he? “How are you cold? This... ‘S nothing. How have you even survived this far if this makes you shiver?”

“We’re in New Mexico, Benrey. I’m used to it being hotter.” Gordon shoots back. There’s no bite in their words anymore. With the rest of the Science Team still missing, they’ve fallen into a rhythm. The teasing is still there but... Well, it’s just between friends now.

“You haven’t seen real heat until it’s 170 degrees outside.” Benrey releases a short cackle. Gordon rolls his eyes but the ghost of a smirk betrays him.

“Stop trying to one up me in every conversation with stories about your planet. I get it, shits intense there and you’re like a... Alien god or whatever.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Benrey grins. It falters for a split second when Gordon’s shivering gets a little worse. “Hey uh... Since you’re a loser who can’t control your body temp at will, c’mere. Would be... Would be pretty lame if I just let you die.”

Gordon feels his heart stop, but by some miracle, he inches closer and leans against Benrey. He’s cold, but only for a second. Then he suddenly feels like a heated blanket and Gordon stops thinking. He lets out a breath of relief and without meaning to, drops his entire body weight on Benrey.

Benrey luckily doesn’t budge, nor make much of a fuss. Gordon buries his face into his shoulder. “How..?”

“Huh?”

“You can just... Heat up like that... How are you so lucky? Not fair.” Gordon tells him in a muffled voice. Benrey stifles a laugh.

“I wouldn’t call myself lucky but-” Benrey’s abruptly cut off as his voice turns into a pleasant song. Gordon turns his head and gets a look at pink and golden balls floating in the air. He sits up, staring at them curiously.

When he looks at Benrey again, his face is a deep red. “...As- as I was uh, saying before I was rudely interrupted-”

“What’s gold to pink mean?”

“It’s pink to gold- fuck.” Benrey quickly shut his mouth. It did nothing to sway Gordon’s interest.

“What’s pink to gold mean, Benrey?”

“Look... Do you want the translation or the heat because you’re not gettin’ both. ‘S not fair.”

Gordon groaned and didn’t answer. They both knew what his answer was going to be- he wasn’t going to give up the heat. “...Do you sleep at all or is that another perk of yours too? Don’t think I’ve seen you actually sleep.”

Benrey made a noncommittal noise. “Kinda. It’s less ‘Unconscious’ and more ‘Hitting pause on a video game and taking a snack break’ you feel me?”

Gordon wasn’t entirely sure he understood what that meant for Benrey physically but he nodded anyways. “Think everyone else is okay?”

“Huh? Yeah of course.” Benrey snorted. “Not a single one of ‘em are fully human like you, they’ll be fine.”

“Right.” Gordon’s eyes drooped.

Benrey must’ve noticed because the next words out of his mouth were, “You gonna become Gordon Sleepman?”

“Maybe...” Gordon mumbled, eyes closing and refusing to open again. Benrey laughed but it got further and further away until Gordon slipped into a dreamless slumber.

—

Fighting by Benrey’s side took some of the usual stress away. Gordon knew that Benrey had his back, it became easy to relax a little and focus with him there.

The assassins were tough but with their power combined and a few explosives, it wasn’t hard to drive them away. Gordon had to take a breather afterwards, leaning up against the wall, but there was a smile plastered to his face. They were really doing this- they were going to get out of here alive.

God, Gordon couldn’t wait to see Joshua. He’d get an earful from his ex but he knew they meant well and would only be worried about him. Not to mention, Gordon wanted Benrey to meet Joshua. Something told him that they’d get along and Gordon wanted Benrey to be apart of that life.

“You good?” Benrey was looking over him carefully, eyeing a particularly nasty looking wound. “Lookin’ a little red there... In the face too.”

Gordon shook his head. “Just need a breather. And possibly a first aid kit.”

“I know where one is.” A new voice told them. Benrey and Gordon blinked and turned to the source. Gordon’s jaw dropped and his eyes lit up.

“Bubby! Dude, where- where have you been?”

Bubby seemed to shift in place. Something about him looked off, the look in his eyes, his arms crossed, the halting way he was talking- did he actually swallow before speaking? “Around.” Bubby said simply.

Gordon blinked. “You... You good, dude? You don’t seem yourself.”

“I’m fine, Gordon. Do you want a first aid kit or not?” Bubby snapped at him but his shoulders were tense.

Carefully, Gordon made his way over to him with Benrey on his heels. “That’d be great, thank you, Bubby.” Gordon paused, determining that stress seemed to be the answer and offered Bubby a hug.

Bubby took a step back. Gordon refused to take it personally. The guy looked like he was having a bad day. If he needed space, so be it. Gordon would be here when he was ready.

Benrey’s eyebrows raised at Bubby. “Where’s Coomer ‘n Tommy?” He asked slowly.

“...We got separated.” Bubby turned his back to them, moving forward. “Let’s just go already.”

The lack of expression alarmed Gordon. Did something happen? Why was Bubby acting so... Distant.

“You can tell us anything.” Gordon told Bubby. “We’re a team, no matter what.”

His offer fell on deaf ears.

Bubby stopped in front of what looked like a supply room. At the very end of the room laid a first aid kit, just as Bubby said. Gordon turned to Bubby and gave him a smile. “Hey. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Bubby’s face dropped and while his mouth opened, no words came out.

Gordon entered the room, with Benrey following behind and Bubby in the back.

The lights went out.

—

The lights going out temporarily surprised Benrey until his night vision kicked in. Not a moment too soon either as soldiers suddenly surrounded Gordon and his stomach dropped.

Benrey was ready to lunge forward but arms wrapped around him and held him back. Benrey struggled until there was a voice in his ear.

“Don’t interfere or you’ll get hurt too.” Bubby hissed.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened. Benrey turned his gaze to Bubby furiously, though Gordon’s cries in pain pierced his heart. “You- you did this?”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Bubby’s grip on him was tighter than iron. “You don’t know what they would’ve done!”

“I wouldn’t betray a friend, even if my life was on the line.” Benrey felt his form start to shift, getting less humanoid and more monstrous in his anger.

“It wasn’t my life!” His arms were shaking now. Benrey stopped.

Oh.

“How-” Benrey tried to say but Bubby cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter how.” Fear and fury leaked into his voice. “But I didn’t. Have. A choice.”

Benrey wanted to argue- he would’ve- but something else stopped him. Stopped them both in fact.

There was a soldier with a hunter’s knife and Gordon was screaming.

Bubby’s grip loosened enough for Benrey to break free, but Bubby didn’t seem to care when he did. Instead, his eyes were paralyzed. “I... They never said they were going to... Bastards.”

Benrey felt his form shift and grow before finally he made his attack.

He was too late to save Gordon’s arm but Benrey wrapped him in his own arms and bolted out of there. He looked back, only once, to watch Bubby burst into flames.

Benrey let his instincts guide him- out of Black Mesa, into the sun, and away from the soldiers. Nothing else around them except for a headcrab but Benrey sent one dirty look to it and it ran.

Gordon was bleeding- a lot. Too much- and missing an arm. Benrey could regrow those but Gordon was too human to do the same.

“G- Gordon?” Benrey said carefully. His breath hitched in his throat when his eyes cracked open, squinting. “Hey uh... You’re- you’re not gonna die, are you?”

Gordon paused for a long moment. Then he laughed to himself. “Benrey... Thanks. For getting- getting me out of there.”

“You- you’re good, right? Thinkpan still working? Got- got a lot more blood than this, right?”

Gordon blinked before nodding slightly. “I... Think so? It’s- it’s really hard to think right now. I think I should sleep... Man I- I really need a first aid kit now, huh?”

He laughed again. He kept doing that but Benrey didn’t get what was so funny. “Gordon?”

“You look- you look beautiful, you know that?” Gordon’s one good hand reached up and cupped his face. Benrey didn’t know how to deal with that, his mind was moving too quickly. “Your hair... You should take off your helmet more.”

“You- you don’t know what you’re sayin’...” Benrey stuttered.

“I mean every word.” Gordon stifled a snicker, eyes looking far away.

Benrey shook himself. He didn’t want to go back into Black Mesa but he needed to patch Gordon up before he passed out. Benrey was afraid of what would happen when he passed out. “Keep- keep on chattin’, okay? Stay with me, Gordon.”

Gordon laughed again but this one was softer. “You- you know, I really like it when you say my name. Sounds good when you- when you say it.”

Not actually flirting with you, he’s just delusional. Benrey told himself, keeping his focus as he carefully entered Black Mesa through a pipe. “That’s- that’s cool, Gordon. Uh, what else do you want to talk about?”

Gordon went silent. Benrey panicked. “G- Gordon? C’mon, stay with me, man.”

“What’ssss... What’s Pink to Gold mean?”

Benrey swallowed. Anything to keep him awake, right? “Pink to Gold... Means you’re a sight to behold.”

“Oh. Ohhhhhhh!” Gordon got a stupidly, cute grin on his face. It would’ve caused even more pink and gold sweet voice had Benrey not been stressing like he was. “Benny... Do you loveee me?”

“...I mean, isn’t it obvious?” Benrey thought it was. He was so very certain that Gordon knew. He finally spotted what he was looking for and sprinted over to it, setting Gordon down against the wall and taking it apart. “Stay still- I’m gonna help you, alright?”

Gordon didn’t resist but he did keep talking. “What’s obvious?”

“...I uh, care about you a lot, Gordon?”

Benrey wondered what Xen would say about him if they saw him now. The Great Benrey, running away from home and falling in love with a completely regular human. Except Gordon wasn’t really ordinary- he was... Everything. Funny, kind at heart, protective- a little stiff at times but he loosens up when he can relax. Not to mention, the guy had a great laugh and an even better face.

A face that had such a kind smile on it right now. Benrey wanted to protect that smile- no matter what. Gordon deserved to get out of here safely.

“I- I care about you too, Benny.”

Benrey swallowed. If it weren’t for the fact that Gordon wasn’t looking so hot right now, he might’ve really liked that nickname. Another time- if Gordon ever called him that again, that is.

“I’m gonna wrap this up, okay?” Benrey gestured to where his right arm used to be.

“Okay.” Gordon was still smiling, eyes half lided. “I trust you.”

Those three words went a long ways for Benrey. He shook his head and got to work. As soon as he was done, Gordon promptly passed out, his head against Benrey’s shoulder.

Gordon needed the rest. They’d figure out what came next later. Benrey would take care of him until then.

——

So. I might’ve gone a bit wild with the plot because I couldn’t stop thinking about how differently thing’s could’ve gone with the events in this AU so yEAH!

Hopefully it was good though! Made sure there was some softer moments as well as the darker one. How well I balanced it is up to y’all I suppose!

Thank you for the request! Hopefully Part Three won’t take as long!!

[ga-yuu]

~Invitation to another world~Yoshitsune Premium END

Shanao: “My name is Shanao. I’m the other you. Now let the trial begin. When “I” confront myself, will you be able to hold on to your own? Answer me.”

(The other, Yoshitsune-sama!?)

Yoshitsune: “Shanao.....”

Yoshitsune-sama narrowed his eyes and looked at Shanao.

Yoshitsune: “I haven’t heard that name for a long time. Are you asking me to cross myself?”

Shanao: “No, that won’t be necessary. I am the other you, Minamoto no Yoshitsune. You, who is between the demon and a human, who has no place in either.”

Yoshitsune: “.............”

Yoshitsune-sama, who had accepted this bizarre situation without hesitation, gasped slightly.

Shanao: “No matter how well you pretend to be a trickster in the demon world, you can’t fool me. Because I am.....you. That’s it.”

That exchange convinced me.

(I thought this guy was a fake created by that skull monster earlier, but he’s not.)

(I don’t know the logic, but I certainly know “it's” Yoshitsune-sama...!)

A sudden nervousness sets in as I realized that I was in the presence of an unusual being.

Shanao: “Just as it is useless to wear a demon costume in front of me....No matter how much you try to imitate others in this life, it is all in vain.”

Yoshitsune: “.....Is it because my soul is more like a demon’s?”

Yoshitsune-sama lets out a huff of air.

Yoshitsune: “Kurama told me this once. I know that for a fact.”

Shanao: “So why are you looking for a way into the human world?”

Shanao, then turns his head to look at me.

(......Mm.)

He looked at me without any emotion in his eyes and my body tensed up.

Shanao: “I can understand why Yuno wants to go back to her world because she’s a human. But do “I” really want to go back to that place? “I” am too much of an anomaly to live in the world of humans. I can’t be a human nor a demon.”

Shanao’s eyes take on a dark, deep color.

Shanao: “Have you forgotten how, when you were a child, you ran alone through the dark night, chased by demons? Have you forgotten all the times people feared that “my” presence would bring bad luck? .....No, those memories are not forgotten. If you had forgotten you would not be lost in the demon world now.”

(Ehh)

Yuno: “Lost....?”

Involuntarily, the confused voice made Shanao silently occupy.

Shanao: “I’m lost. Where do “I” really belong? In this world or...... the other?”

(I don’t think that’s...)

He looked at Yoshitsune-sama with a look of slight anguish on his face.

Yoshitsune: “.....It’s true I’ve been somewhat of an outcast in the human world. A lot of people, when they meet me, see something different in me.  It was as if they were saying, ”This” is not of this world.”

Yuno: “Yoshitsune-sama....”

To the troubled Yoshitsune-sama, repeated Shanao’s bitter words.

Shanao: “When you meet the rebels, you have a family of friends. But loneliness had always followed you. That’s what you’re meant to do. Have you ever thought that by fighting for your friends, you might be making them unhappy?”

Yoshitsune(troubled face): “......!”

Shanao: “I’m afraid you’re letting your vengeance get the best of you.”

(You...)

Yuno: “That’s not true. The rebels came to Yoshitsune-sama of their own free will!”

Even though I was upset and had a rebuttal, the cold eyes of Shanao did not waver.

Shanao: “I see. But.... because they have found hope in the power of Yoshitsune, they are all marching to their deaths. If only “Yoshitsune” had not existed. Those who had faltered in their disappointment could have risen after a long time and one day walked in another direction....”

Yoshitsune: “That’s....”

The murmurings were drowned out by the deep voice of Shanao.

Shanao: “Stop clinging on to this life. That’s what makes “me” happy, and that’s what makes everyone happy. Besides, when you actually come to the other world, you must have realized that you had an unconscious longing for this place. Didn’t you feel like you belonged here? Don’t you find it attractive?”

Yoshitsune: “.......Mm!”

Yoshitsune-sama’s eyes flickered in confusion.

Shanao: “In the world of demons, power is everything. Rather than live in a world of humans, where they look at you with awe...Wouldn’t it be more comfortable to live in the demon world, to wield your power to the full and win your place?”

Yoshitsune: “....................”

Shanao words made Yoshitsune-sama evaluate himself.

(No, Yoshitsune-sama!)

Although I was shaking from anxiety, I remembered something----

--------FLASHBACK--------

Yoshitsune: “.....I'm interested in seeing this world."

.............

Yoshitsune: "There's a lot here that's new to me."

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

Those were the eyes of Yoshitsune-sama, shining with pure curiosity since his arrival in the demon world.

(For Yoshitsune-sama, the human world may have too many ties)

(If he chooses the demon world then...)

My heart was torn apart as I gazed at Yoshitsune-sama.”

Yoshitsune(expressionless): “....................”

I looked up and my eyes meet his.

(Don’t go!)

At that moment, my body was moving before I could think.

Yoshitsune: “Yuno?”

Yuno: “Yoshitsune...sama.”

Driven by overflowing emotions, I simply clasped his hands tightly.

Yoshitsune(surprised): “......”

Yoshitsune(now smiling): “.........”

Yoshitsune-sama, still holding my hand, opened his mouth to Shanao.

Yoshitsune: “.....You’re right. I can’t deny what you said. The old me would have found the words irresistible.”

Shanao: “Old you?”

Yoshitsune: “Yeah. ....But I’ve already chosen the place where I want to live.”

(! Ah....)

Hands that had been loosely touching each other were gently squeezed back.

(Yoshitsune-sama.)

I felt a warmth in my chest as if my heart was connected to his hand.

Yoshitsune: “I owe it to everyone in the rebel army, to every soldier  I have led to this day. It is never permissible to give up everything here and now and remain in the demon world. .....But I’m not going to let that happen myself.”

 Yoshitsune-sama’s voice softly melts into the darkness.

Yoshitsune: “It was not all suffering. I had a bond in this life. I’m no longer the little boy I was when I was alone, who was struggling to decide whether he’s a human or a demon. .....Shanao, that’s the answer I have for you.”

Yoshitsune-sama tells him confidently.

Shanao: “Are you sure, you won’t regret it?”

Yoshitsune(smiling): “There is no such thing as regret.... because I’ve got what I wanted, and I’ve got it now.”

Yoshitsune then looks at me and smiles.

(Ah.....you’re smiling too....?)

For a brief moment out of the corner of my eyes, I felt like I saw the same expression on Shanao’s face.

As we emerge from the darkness, the skull monster showed us the way to the present world.----

........................

The flower garden we came to was covered with red spider lilies.

Yuno: “That skull monster said that this is place has a portal connected to the human world at certain times.”

(And yet, beautiful red spider lilies....somewhere seems scary as hell.)

The monstrous beauty of this place keeps reminding me that we are in another world.

Yoshitsune: “There is still time before the portal opens. In the meantime, I want to see this scenery with you.” 

The soft look in his eyes made my heart skip a beat.

Yuno: “Yes, by all means.”

Leaning close to Yoshitsune-sama, we look out over the flower garden once again.

Yuno: “The other world was full of interesting things, wasn’t it? I was a bit scared, but Yoshitsune-sama was by my side, which was reassuring.”

Yoshitsune(smiling): “Did I protect your heart as well as body?..... If so, I’m very happy.”

Yoshitsune-sama’s lips form a fine smile.

(Really, you’re such a sweetheart.)

As I was looking at the flower garden with a warm feeling, Yoshitsune-sama turned to me.

Yoshitsune(expressionless): “................”

(...... Hm?)

Suddenly, he stares at me, and I was stunned.

There was a certain desire in his sparkling purple crystal eyes.

As I was looking at it, I couldn’t take my eyes off it and then Yoshitsune-sama opened his mouth.

Yoshitsune: “----Once, I used to feel that maybe I wasn’t meant to be in the human world. If I had come to the demon world like this back then, I wouldn’t have gone back.”

Yuno: “Yoshitsune-sama...”

Yoshitsune(smiling): “But now, I have you.”

Yoshitsune-sama’s face softly relaxes.

The sight of Yoshitsune-sama smiling against the sky and flowers of the demon world is full of mysterious charm.

Yoshitsune(smiling): “I want to live where Yuno is. Because you’re my place, something I want to protect and the reason for my life.” (Who the hell wrote this line? It's so cringy. The first line is okay. “The reason to live” line is straight up from Twilight. )

(......!)

The words were so earnest that they pierced my heart.

Yoshitsune(smiling): “I love you, Yuno. There’s still so much more to see with you. ....Let’s hold hands forever and never let go.”

Yoshitsune-sama reaches out to me. Invited, I reached out to the man I love.

Yoshitsune: “Yuno.”

The moment our outstretched hands' touch, Yoshitsune-sama hugs me.

(Mm...hm...)

The kisses that were dropped deepened and Yoshitsune-sama’s fingers gently caressed my skin.

Yoshitsune: “.......Yuno.”

Once separated, Yoshitsune-sama’s lips touch my ear. I see an endless sea of red spider lilies.

Yoshitsune: “I want to get closer to you, here and now.”

(...Mm....if you...ask me that...now..)

(---No. I can no longer resist....)

I was attracted to Yoshitsune-sama, who wore an unusual and mysterious fragrance, and my head shook dizzily.

An irresistible impulse sends shivers down my spine as I open my mouth.

Yuno(blushing): “Yoshitsune-sama, I want you too....”

All the words of love that I desperately spun were taken away from me by Yoshitsune-sama with every breath.

-----The feverish wisteria of his eyes captures my soul.

My core was tingling with a sense of danger....

Event Story

Epilogues will be starting by tomorrow.

[inthiswhisper]

alright, it’s been a while, so my whole episode... recap? analysis? commentary? thing is rusty, but 8x16 got me excited for a few reasons.

i’m focusing on prometheus’ very familiar story and character parallels. despite what dean says about sam dying like prometheus, within the context of this episode, he’s not prometheus. i think he’s actually oliver, prometheus’ son.

the real promethus is (not a shocker) dean. what first tipped me off is this moment—

—of dean staring at the family. dean has had a history of yearning for one, image similar to ben and lisa, which is important but not anything new, so i dismissed it. then sam explained—

dean: didn’t [prometheus] steal fire or somethin’?

sam: yep. he stole the flames of olympia for us. zeus decided to revoke humanity’s ability to make fire, and in return [for prometheus’ actions], zeus decided to strap him to that mountain and make him relive death every day.

dean: damn, every day for how long? no wonder the guy’s hard drive is fried.

—which, again, is important, but defying gods and protecting humanity are already obvious elements of the show. however, what really struck me was how dean and prometheus both suffer from immortality by a higher power. one as a consequence of his actions, the other to play a pawn in god’s game. both men die over and over at the hands of a god binding them by fate, enough that it grows tiresome. like what dean says too often, at the start of the episode even prometheus says—

prometheus: all i know is all i do is die, so if you want to shoot me, shoot me. just promise me you finish the job ‘cause i can’t take this anymore.

—wishing to stay dead. and, though an eagle eating prometheus’ guts is easy to dismiss, it’s interesting when you learn what intestines symbolize (limbo or the halfway point between a beginning and an end) and what eagles symbolize (strength, courage, and immortality).

dean and prometheus are either always killed or on the brink of death, finally passing a halfway point to reach the end, until they’re revived — forced to fulfill a duty or endure a punishment. survival / protecting people via strength and courage (eagle), which once was the goal, now eats away at them, leaving them perpetually stuck in limbo (intestines) and growing tired.

but, even if they don’t want to continue, the will they have left to try is drawn from their children — oliver and sam (who i’m counting as dean’s child). sam and oliver have their commonalities, and as i’ve said before, i think dean would have stopped trying if it wasn’t for sam. similar to prometheus’ feelings about oliver—

sam: you pretty much saved the whole world.

prometheus: yeah, i guess, but none of that means anything unless i can save my son.

—protecting sam is dean’s priority. prometheus struggles with immortality and is willing to die, but knowing his son has taken on that burden means he needs to rid oliver of the curse first. likewise, though the trials were intended for dean and he made it his mission to be chosen, sam beat him and is now taking on the mantle, but dean still won’t let him die because of it.

so much so that dean is desperate enough to pray to (really, beg) cas to watch over sam—

dean: listen, you know i am not one for praying. in my book, it’s the same as begging... but this is about sam, so i need you to hear me. we are goin’ into this deal blind. i don’t know what’s ahead, or what it’s gonna bring for sam. he’s covering pretty good, but i know he is hurtin’, and this one was supposed to be on me. so, for all that we’ve been through, i’m asking you... you keep a lookout for my little brother, okay?

dean: where the hell are you, man?

—and protect him. like how oliver rejects sam’s offer for ice cream to stay at his father’s funeral, sam is holding himself up and being braver than he is about the trials. even dean being the one to light prometheus’ funeral pyre and comfort hayley (reminding me of dean before, watching them be a family) touches on some symbolism.

however, dean’s prayer actually holds another parallel — one similar to asking cas to protect sam, except of sam convincing artemis to stop her father and protect oliver. this is where it all takes a turn. right before sam wins artemis over, he exposes her feelings for prometheus—

sam: [prometheus] was in love with you, you know. he told us.

artemis: what did he say to you?

sam: this wasn’t the first time he escaped that mountain, and that you let him go free, as long as you could hide your little tryst from [zeus]. you were afraid [to tell anyone or else your father] would find out that you fell for the person he hates the most in this world.

—claiming she is not only in love with him, but also helped him escape his banishment, where he endured never-ending punishment. at the end of the episode, she even kills her father to save prometheus and the people he loves — caring about them because of prometheus — and helps them regain their free will. 

not to state the obvious, but... unless we know of someone else who symbolizes free will and rebelled against their father-god and freed a prometheus-paralleling character from a fate-bound narrative of endless torture (or, hell), all while vowing to protect his family... i can only think of cas here. (i also obviously associate cas with prometheus — his protection of humanity, his immortality, and the emmanuel vibes — but for consistency’s sake, i’ll keep from rambling.)

however, prometheus gets caught in artemis’ crossfire and dies with zeus. she doesn’t take his body, leaving it for oliver and hayley (again, ben and lisa vibes) to keep because she’s willing to let go even if she loves him. but... i think both artemis and hayley count as his love interests. like the immortal / monstrous beings and their mortal / human partners we met this season, one half of the pair meets a tragic end, usually because the other is at fault for the death. never out of malice, always grief, because either their lives or their love couldn’t outlast their reality. and, though artemis killed prometheus, hayley freed zeus, which put him in danger. for which she apologized for and grieved over with dean.

we already know dean and cas’ end was tragic, but what’s interesting — what i’ve mentioned before — is that it wasn’t his grief that took cas. it was his happiness. it was loving dean that much. out of all of these relationships’ ends, that was the difference.

and all of this might be me talking nonsense and seeing parallels that aren’t there, that’s fair lol, but it’s hard to ignore the overlaps that exist between these characters and their mirrors.

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Whumptober Day 1: “Should’ve Listened”

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 1. Set during a Httyd Zombie AU of mine. Main fic to follow soon. Snotlout saw an opportunity to get more supplies and he took it, despite Hiccup's warnings that it was much too risky. When he doesn't listen, he finds himself captured and left for dead. (Not a death fic)

Rating: Teen and up

Characters: Snotlout, Hiccup, Hookfang

Pairing: None

Words: 1 389

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: Waking up Restrained + Punctured

Author’s Notes: Written for Whumptober Day 1. Decided to go for one of the three prompt suggestions as well as the alternate prompt because they just fit together.

Prompt: Waking up restrained

Alternate prompt: Punctured

This is part of an AU that I've been working on, but haven't been posting yet. Whumptober is a nice opportunity to explore some ideas and dynamics.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Ao3

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If there is such a thing as karma than perhaps Snotlout has found it because he should've listened to Hiccup. When he told him that cache of supplies was too high risk to try, he should've just listened. If he had, then maybe he wouldn't have gotten into trouble.

He's tied up. That is how he woke up. To lying on some hard floor of a mostly empty room with his wrists bound behind his back and his ankles bound together because he wouldn't listen to the guy who's made keeping them all safe his one and only reason to still live and breathe in this life.

"Hiccup is always right." They've repeated that sentence so many times, like a mantra, and not because they are made to. If Hiccup ever hears them say that, it will just stress him out more.

He'd been stupid. So, so, so stupid! Still lying on the ground, barely having moved since he woke up, Snotlout pulls at his restraints in a frustrated attempt to get free, but that it doesn't work only serves to frustrate him even more.

He should've listened.

Snotlout pulls and growls. He pulls on his bindings as hard as he can, but he can't get them to budge. The ropes are rough and the only reason they don't cause his wrists to bleed is all because of the leather bands he's decided to wear. It's purely for aesthetic purposes, he called it his "apocalypse getup", but they've actually come in handy.

Hookfang's whereabouts and well-being are a complete mystery to him, too, another reason to be angry. Usually, at the receiving end of his Rider's not-so-wise decisions, the Nightmare had come with him to raid the cache. Snotlout hopes he managed to get away safely when they got caught and that he's safe with the other Dragon Riders. If something were to happen to that dragon because of his stupid fault, he would never forgive himself.

He doesn't even know where he is. He's in a building of that he's certain, but are the Dragon Hunters using it as an outpost? Is it a camp? There's nothing here besides a table, a chair, and a shelved cabinet, which is empty. But besides that, he knows nothing.

He never should've gone.

They had knocked him out with an injection. He doesn't know what it was, just that he was out in minutes and that he feels a little sick now.

Who still uses needles in this day and age?! A good old cloth with chloroform would've sufficed! A good and hard knock to the head maybe? Or a nice chokehold, whatever happened to those?

Snotlout feels dirty on top of being angry. Who knows where that thing has been before! The Dragon Hunters can't be trusted to use clean and unused needless. They would use them dirty just for the fun of it.

He can hear voices on the other side of the door. Is it his friends? Hunters? He can't quite hear what they're saying.

And then he realizes that they're not saying anything at all. Those aren't words that he's hearing, just garbled noises and moans. He knows those sounds can only come from one kind of thing and said thing isn't even alive.

A familiar chill runs down his spine as he realizes that the dead can only be here if the Hunters have left. He isn't in a camp at all, they've just tied him up and left him in the nearest building they could find to either starve to death or be eaten! Clearly, Snotlout Jorgenson wasn't important enough to kidnap.

He bets they had a good laugh, too. They're good at that, laughing at the Dragon Riders. Anything to make their own sad little lives seem a tad less depressing.

The door to his room creaks and it's the first time Snotlout has decided to twist in his awkward position on the floor and look at it to see that it's been open this entire time. They hadn't even left him in a locked room and it explains why he can even hear what's going on outside in the hallway.

The thing making those moans comes ever closer until it shuffles aimlessly inside.

It's about as dead as every other zombie he's seen. Its skin is a greyish pale, perhaps a little bit on the sickly blue side. Its empty gaze wanders across the new space, searching for something in this barely furnitured room. It quickly settles on Snotlout.

"Oh no!" He yelps as a moan escapes the walking corpse, the kind that tells of the delicacy it spotted. It quickly lunges for him. The only times when they're fast is when they've spotted a fresh meal.

"Oh no, oh no!" Snotlout panics and all he can do with his hands and feet bound is crawl away. Like a human caterpillar, except he has no hope of ever transforming into the beautiful butterfly he's meant to be if he's killed and eaten now.

"No! Oh no!" He can hear the hurried footsteps behind him, can hear the gurgling moaning coming closer, can already imagine its decaying fingers grabbing hold of him and its teeth sinking into his flesh next.

But that doesn't happen.

There is a snarl, the kind a very specific dragon would make, and Snotlout turns onto his side just in time to see the corpse go up in flames. It is roasted within seconds and the immediate stench is unbearable.

Still on fire, it crumples to the ground, already partially cremated.

Snotlout struggles to turn towards the door and there he sees the relieving sight of his dragon, his head just barely fitting through the frame with his horns.

"Hookfang!" He shouts, pure joy and relief on his face. The Monstrous Nightmare rumbles happily and struggles to get his much too big horns in through the doorway. He can't reach his Rider like this.

"Don't, Hookfang, you're going to get yourself stuck." A nasal voice says and the Nightmare reluctantly retreats to let Hiccup inside. His face, more specifically his mouth and nose, are covered with a thick cloth and understandably so. Knowing Hookfang would be roasting anything in his path to get to Snotlout, alive or dead, he'd come prepared.

But upon seeing Hiccup, the leader he'd disobeyed and troubled, Snotlout stills and looks at the floor, now back to lying flat on his side.

He's expecting a lecture, a rant, anything as Hiccup walks over and pulls out a knife. But it doesn't come even as he kneels behind him and cuts through the ropes restraining him.

So Snotlout feels like he has to ask. The urge to do so is nagging at him.

"Hey, aren't you mad?" He reluctantly asks as sits up and rolls his shoulders.

Hiccup gazes at him for a silent moment in contemplation before eventually sighing as he puts away the knife, folding it closed and shoving it in a pocket. That sigh already isn't a good sign and Snotlout feels his stomach drop.

"No, I'm not mad. Disappointed? Definitely. But not mad." Hiccup tells him and stands.

Ouch. A disappointed Hiccup is much worse than an angry one, he can't quite explain why. Disappointing him is almost like disappointing a parent, that's the only way he can possibly explain the levels of discomfort this brings him.

Snotlout looks away again, the floor is suddenly very interesting and he flicks a tiny rock away.

"Can you get up?" Hiccup asks, already offering a hand. Quietly Snotlout accepts it and lets the other pull him to his feet. Hiccup dusts him off.

"Come on, we're going home." He tells him and walks outside ahead of him, where Toothless is surely waiting for him.

They don't have one. At least, not in the form of a house. "Going home" simply means going back to the other Dragon Riders.

Snotlout follows, meeting with his dragon and with Toothless outside of the room.

Hookfang rumbles gently and pushes his snout in his Rider's hands, who takes him just as softly. He's glad to be reunited with him, so glad. But as he watches Hiccup and Toothless go down the corridor, the former's hand on the latter, there is a nagging feeling of guilt that Snotlout can't fight.

[the-goddessfighter]

DEMON & ANGEL MONSTERS AU BATAROU <3

by: Little1993lamb

Yayy it's my birthdayyy~! On September 6th, btw 😚🎉🎉🎊

Let me share Demon&Angel Monster Batarou AU as my treat for you, Temperans-sama!

 Summary:

At some point in his life after living together with reformed Human Monster Garou, Badd suddenly underwent a monsterification which allowed him to transform into a new form: a six-winged Seraphim-like Angel Monster.

And today is Badd's birthday, but he's must still going to do his daily duty as a professional S-Class hero along with Garou. What Garou can do to cheer his beloved Angel up on his birthday?

 Disclaimer:

The headcanons that have been mentioned in this AU are not 100% mine. Some ideas were created by @the-goddessfighter, @beautifulnightmareus, and @kaincuro .

I only combined and mixed all of them together with my own ideas into one (hopefully) coherent AU headcanon. So, thank you so much guys for giving me brilliant ideas!

 Warning:

Nothing was explicit here, so it's safe I assure you. But there are some soft yet passionate kisses between Garou and Badd, and some loving embrace/hugging from this Demon&Angel Monster couple.. 😚💋❤

OOC characterizations of Badd and Garou, I'm pretty sure of it. There are many amazing authors who can nailed their characterization perfectly and rest assured I'm not among them *sobs*

No beta. So many typos, grammar mistakes, very limited vocabulary, and broken English. I'm so sorry for my bad English, it's not my mother language I'm still learning on it, so I apologized if it makes you feel very uncomfortable during reading this writing, forgive meee... 😭🙏🙇

 Please enjoy it 😉💕

 --------------------------------

Badd was deep in thought, contemplating his life journey together with Garou for the last 4 years.

It's been 4 years since Badd was harboring a fugitive Garou in his home, just a day before his 18th birthday. It's been difficult to play some cat-and-mouse game against Heroes Association, knowing they were still hunted the ex-Hero Hunter, who currently hiding in his own house.

He realized that Garou is actually not a bad guy, they quickly became bestfriends without knowing there's something else was blooming between them.

 It's been 3 years and a half since Badd partnered with Garou after he was getting pardoned by Heroes Association and became a hero, climbed up his way from the very bottom of C-Class rank until he could stand beside Badd as a fellow S-Class Hero in no time. Badd was so proud of him.

It's more easier to have Garou as his partner, fighting along side-by-side, sharing their glorious victory together just like old friends, or maybe more than that but nobody have a courage to confess it out, resulting on them hopelessly pining for each other like idiots in love.

 It's been 3 years since Garou finally asking him out to be his lover, that he accepted immediately. They started living their love life together while still continuing their heroes works as partners.

Everyone had already know them as inseparable hero couple duo or power couple duo, while their friends just feel deeply relieved that at long last they become an item after too many obvious mutual pining moments for years.

He's grateful to have a very caring boyfriend like Garou, as it turned out Garou is secretly a softie and sweetheart, even though he always denied it immediately. Everytime Garou showering his love to him, Badd feels like his life is complete now.

 It's been a year since Badd underwent unexpected monsterification which allowed him to be turned into an Angel Monster, a six-winged Seraphim kind of Angel, complete with a halo above his head and pure white light emanating from his entire body. Total opposite from Garou's own monster form, which looked like a Demon.

It confused the hell out of him because it occured so suddenly, made him freaked out and slightly afraid of people's bad opinion for him if not for Garou's presence that soothing him and always taking care of him during the transformation.

Garou always comes to comfort him whenever they'd just transformed into monsters together, ensuring that he will always be there for him, telling him no matter what Badd has become he’ll still loving him unconditionally.  

 And it's been half a year that Badd had accepted his new form and learnt how to control his monster transformation, thanks to his lover's teaching and neverending supports. He later learning from Garou that his monster form was born from benevolent intent to protect people he loves, and his kindhearted personality. Unlike common monsters especially the criminal scums, Badd's motive is considered very pure.

It's kind of similar to what happened to Garou when he wanted to become monster: a noble intention to make himself a sacrifice target for humankind, so people would be united together and wont have to hurt eachother anymore, just focusing to defeat him only. Even though the plan was failed, he's glad that now he already found a new purpose.

 Garou had said to him back then, as a human monster himself, he understand how it feels to be transformed into something frightening and facing people's harsh misjudgement. But that's before Garou met Badd, who patiently coaxing him, giving his humanity back, and never afraid of his monster form.

 Now it's time for Garou to do the same things for his beloved "Angel", he wanted to make sure Badd feels loved despite after getting his new form so suddenly.

 During the process of learning with Garou, they also always make time to talking heart-to-heart about their own experiences when they're turning into monster form. That way, Badd slowly understand what hardship Garou had been through after all this time, and how much suffering his lover had felt during difficult time.

 It makes Badd became more empathetic towards Garou. They have bonded over the struggle to overcome their disadvantage under the same fate...

 --------------------------------

 Speaking of the same fate, Garou once asking Badd, could they be considered as Soulmates?

 Because their monster form are like a matching pair: Demon and Angel. Polar opposite, hellish versus heavenly, dark versus light, evil versus good, villain versus hero, always depicted as mortal enemies, but somehow looked fit together as dangerous complement pair.

It's not coincidental they also become a couple before Badd's monsterification, made it seems like Garou's Demon finally found its other half: Badd's Angel. Like Yin Yang, they complement each other.

 Not to mention, their first time meeting actually had Badd fell from the sky in front of Garou, just in time after Garou wished to meet Badd as soon as possible. Hence whenever someone asking how they met before, he always jokingly says that Badd was a godsend angel who has fallen from heaven and he caught him. Never thought that it would become real once Badd completed his monsterification: Badd is really an Angel!

And not some random Angel form, he got the form of highest rank Angel, the most beautiful and also most powerful, depicted as "fiery angel" who has a duty on performing purification. All of those descriptions suits Badd perfectly.

 Garou could say he was too stunned when he saw Badd's majestic new form at first time, he fell in love so much deeper than before. Finding out that your lover has a matching monster theme made you become extremely happy! That's what Garou was feeling at the time. Now they could be Demon-Angel monster pair together!

 But of course, Garou's first and main job is to make sure Badd feels comfort enough on his transformation, to teach Badd controling his monster form, and the most important is to give all the support and unconditional love for him.

 Slowly but sure, Garou would guide his lover to accepting himself. Just like what Badd had been doing to him in the past, when only Badd the person who brave enough to love and giving so much care for a "ultimate evil monster" until he can love himself for what he is.

 Badd has taught Garou that lesson, and now Garou wanted to do the same for him.

 With lots of patient and support, now look at them.

 Heroes Association has giving Badd permission to use his monster form while fighting, just like what Garou received years ago. Thus, Badd is allowed to transform whenever the situation required him to do so, as long as Garou supervised him.

They also already have people’s approval about their monster form, even people thought they’re really cool monster hero couple. People have a special nickname for both of them, something like “Knights of the Last Judgement”.

 Badd also have their family’s full support. Zenko, upon knowing his big brother's new form, never seems afraid for his intimidating figure. Not at all.

She even said Badd becomes even more cooler with that appearance, complimenting nonstop about the beauty of his "angelic" form. Badd is like, courtesy by Zenko, live-sized pretty angel doll.

And those fluffy six wings! Zenko asked Badd if she and Garou can buried themself into it and snuggle it, also if he can take her flying someday after a mission it seems very exciting for her! Badd can't say no to her.

 Bang didn't say much but Garou can see how much his master (or father, honestly) is very proud of Badd. He trusted Badd can handle his new form easily, just like the way he tamed Garou's monster side and helped Garou to become a better person.

That way, Bang gave his blessing for both Garou and Badd to use their other form, wishing them for the best.

 Those evidences had proved they all understand fully that deep down Badd is still remained as himself, nothing has really changed. Not even his new monstrous appearance can chance that fact...

 ---------------------------------

 As usual, Badd and Garou attended Heroes Association meeting along with another fellow S-Class heroes. Each of them were given a dangerous important mission, because on that day there are so many Dragon-level monsters attacking many cities at the same time.

Heroes Association executives under Sitch's order hoped that S-Class Heroes could aided A-Class heroes who currently battling the monsters and helped on evacuating civilians to the safer place.

 Everyone already got each of their own job to manage at different cities, while Badd and Garou were ordered to work in pair to fight a bunch of biggest monsters that heading towards City-S' border. Considering the huge amount and size of those monsters, also after receiving reports on how severe the monsters causing damages on the cities they have destroyed, Heroes Association recommended to send both Garou and Badd together at once, as their combined power could demolished those monsters without wasting much time.

 So, the S-Class heroes couple quickly heading towards the mission's location. As soon as they arrived, those monsters were already attacking city border while many B-Class heroes still in the middle of evacuating people, and some A-Class heroes trying to buy time by fighting or distracting the monster.

 Understand what they should do, Garou and Badd begin their job. At first, Garou divert the monsters' attention to him and riled them up so they only focused on Garou and Badd only. Then they're doing collaborated multiple attacks with coordinated strikes, cornering the monsters without stopping so they moved towards outside city border.

 It must be done like that to minimalize the destruction that both the heroes and the monsters caused in the city, also to reduce the risk of civilians getting involved into dangerous areas during fighting happen.

This new protocol was applied after the Hero Association reformed themself back then when Garou still being fugitive, so much things must be re-evaluated from the inside to make Hero Association better in the future.

 Succeeded at beating back and leading the monsters bunch into a remote area outside the city far from any population, now it's time for Garou and Badd finishing the job with their ultimate power. Concentrating on their aim and purpose, both of them begin the monsterification.

As soon as their "Fighting Spirit" activated, their human bodies slowly changed.

 Garou's body was engulfed by spinning dark spirals which growing from his left abdomen scars he got from Orochi's attack years ago, made him entirely covered by black hardened skin "armor" of his monster form, all of the nails on his long slender fingers turned into sharp claws, his bright yellow gold irises changed into vivid gold colored irises and his normally white scleras turned into red colored ones, and finally his snow white colored hair turned into black-and-white sharpened spiky hair before it formed into big pointy menacing horns.

Now, Garou was returned again on being the "Demon" Human Monster, bringing back his brutal satanic monstery image. He's ready to hunt again.

 Badd's entire body was glowing bright of white blinding light while emanating a dangerous aura, there's velvety ribbon-like white clothes appeared and wrapping his torso, Badd’s jet black hair rapidly turned into pure white colour, along with the halo-like appendage that circling around his head. And the last thing, he's sprouting six pairs of wide feathery wings from his back, all of them were beautiful fair white colored, at first the wings looked soft but as the "Fighting Spirit" building up in his body those feathers changed into razor-sharp needles.

Now, Badd revealed his other self to the enemies what is the meaning of "Avenging Angel", showing them how terrifying his Angel monster side is and how much he's fully capable to put the fear of god into their mind.

 Monster Garou smiling maniacally when he saw the monsters' terror-stricken expression on their face when they witnessing Monster Badd's imposing figure. Apparently they never heard of Hero Metal Bat's monsterification rumour before. Poor them, though. This will become the first time and the last time they ever seen Angel Monster Badd in action.

 Monster Badd has already in his fighting stance, signaling Monster Garou to be ready for their ultimate finishing moves.

With devilish smirk (Garou) and triumphant smile (Badd), together they shouted:

 [It's time for "slaughter party"/"punishment"!!]

 ----------------------------------

 In the end, everything went alright for the heroes, mission was successful just as planned. All of the monster attacks on several cities has been stopped. The Dragon-level monsters themself has already annihilated. Total building destructions and casualties has been minimized. Civillians who had been evacuated before can go back to their home and continuing their daily activities.

 Still standing in the middle of monsters remains and carcasses, Monster Garou and Monster Badd were basking in glorious victory of successful mission while calming themself from the rush of pumped up adrenaline in their bodies.

 Badd thinks he should be happy that at last they could finished their mission as soon as possible. It's just... Badd feel so tired. Not only physically, because of his monsterifaction had been eating most of his energy, but also emotionally. He's practically drained.

 Today was supposed to be his 22th birthday celebration, where he originally wanted to spend his family time with Zenko and Garou only. It's one of few times Badd could be taking a day-off so he would arranging a private small party with Zenko (now also with Garou) in their home without any people trying to disturb them.

But unfortunately, he got a sudden emergency call from Heroes Association, who gave a dangerous mission and it's the very important one because only S-Class heroes could solved it, so Garou and him must go to do their work. Despite with heavy heart...

 Badd just couldn't reject the hero obligation, it's always been duty come first then their own life. That's the contract and consequences of become S-Class hero, he already knew it very well. But still... It's feel disheartening.

 Decided to take a rest until his body reverted back into human form, Monster Badd gave a cue for Monster Garou that he will moving to more comfortable place to lay on at the area around them. He's flapping his enormous fluffy wings and then takes off from his previous spot, began to searching where he could rest on.

 The battle against the monster enemies took a place near a meadow, not too far from where they stand before, which consist of both grass field and flower field.

Monster Badd carefully landing on the flower field, walking towards the center of it, then proceed to flopping down face first in the middle of flower field, made the flower petals bursted in the air from the impact. He's incapable of sprawling on his back because of his huge wings so it'll be better to lie his tired and worn out body down just like this.

 He hated to feel let down and disappointed, when he should be stay energized or at least feels cuddly enough to have some "monster-loving" moment with his lover. Badd could sensed Garou has already noticed what he's feeling right now, that's because Badd acted unusually dejected since they have finished their mission. He didn't want to make Garou worried but he can't help it.

 It's already bad that he's already depleted of his stamina, now his emotional burden makes it worse. He didn't have energy for flapping his wings to both fly and carrying Garou who still in his monster form back to their home anymore, so he's just take the last resort to stay lying down horizontally on the dirt until his body shifted back again.

 Maybe after this he could ask Garou to carry him back instead. For now, Badd just wanna sleep for awhile, surrounded by flower bush.

 Where is his boyfriend right now? Shouldn't Garou followed and joined him like usual? Like, suddenly appeared next to him without warning and immediately buried himself on his huge fluffy wings and snuggle them while holding him tightly? Whispering soothing and loving words to calm him down from battle adrenaline, or kissing him tenderly to remind how much Garou love him..

 Good. Now he's craving for all of Garou's affections. He needs them, right now. But he didn't have any energy to call him anymore..

Slowly closing his eyes, Badd was waiting for Garou's arrival for any seconds.

 ---------------------------------

 It hurts Garou's heart terribly to see his lover in a miserable mood. He can't watch him moping in sadness like this, especially on his birthday date. Of course they still could celebrate his birthday party later on the day, as it's still much time left.

 But Garou understand Badd's feeling, that deep down he felt disappointed his anticipated plan was ruined by this emergency mission.

No matter how Badd trying to hide or deny it, Garou just. Know.

 Afterall, they have been bonded since long time ago, right? That their heart practically become one: they would know what they are thinking or feeling without saying any word.. or maybe they just sharing one functional braincell?

 It's time for Garou to cheer Badd up! Maybe he could find something that would lifted Badd's mood. He observed their location's surrounding and environment, so far he's only seeing flower field with various flower plants on it. All of them kinda looked pretty--

Oh, Garou got an idea! Even though it's just a simple thing, Garou was sure Badd would appreaciate it...

 -----------------------------

 In half-sleeping state, Monster Badd could hear Garou's voice from afar, or rather his monster form's voice, there's a bit different. Followed by the sounds of both his footsteps and soft rustle of grass leaves. Until it stopped just right a few meters from where Monster Badd was sleeping.

 He called Monster Badd gently so he would wake up and sit for awhile. But he also asked him to close his eyes until he tell him otherwise. Monster Badd didn't understand what Monster Garou was planning but he complied to his requests.

 Slowly but surely, Monster Badd lifted his worn out body from the ground, brushing the dirt off from his velvety clothes, enormous wings also starts flapping to shake off any leftover dust or dirt on his body.

 Once Monster Badd was awake and changed his position into a sitting position, he was told by Monster Garou that he can open his eyes now. Right at the moment, Monster Badd could feel something was poured on his body from above.

 Curiously, he opened his eyes and looked around.

 He was surprised by Monster Garou hovering over him, while sprinkling, or more like throwing, a lots of tiny colourful flower petals on Monster Badd's hair and his pretty wings. Soon enough, Monster Badd's entire figure was decorated by those pretty flower petals.

 Still confused about what had just happened, Monster Badd found Monster Garou already standing very close, just right before him, slowly and gently tilted his chin up, and kissed him softly yet passionately. It made him letting out a whimper followed by soft moans.

He really loves it whenever Monster Garou kissing him, it feels like he consumed all the fire that "the Demon" has been offering to him from the kisses. He was in bliss.

 When Monster Garou released their kiss, he cupped and caressing Monster Badd's soft cheeks tenderly, gaze deeply into his eyes and whispering,

 "Happy Birthday, my beloved Angel. May happiness will always given to you",

 with a raspy voice, yet in very affectionate tone, before giving a lingering kiss on Monster Badd's forehead.

 Monster Badd was strucked by Monster Garou's sweet gesture. He didn't expected that his lover would gives him a thoughful surprise present like this. Yes, it was a simple thing but it's really brings him a lots of joy.

And the huge amount of love he was receiving from Garou... He feels like his heart would bursting from the happiness.

Garou really care for him, and that single truth was enough to make Badd back to his happy self.

 Then, the next thing happened truly made Monster Garou left astonished for a hot minute:

 Monster Badd was giving Monster Garou his sweetest smile and laugh in his majestic angelic form. Complete with bright light that emanating from Monster Badd's figure whenever he's in happy mood or in fighting mood. And those various tiny colourful flower petals sprinkles on his flawless body, on his silky smooth pure white Angel hair, and his soft feathered wings, somehow made him even more beautiful than before..

 For him, it was the most gorgeous thing Garou ever seen in his life. He was too stunned to move or even blinking his eyes just from witnessing majestic angelic Badd's precious smile.

And his laugh was the most mellifluous voice he ever heard, it sounds like a heavenly music in his ears.

Is this how an angel sings in heaven? He was lucky enough to have one performing it to him right now.

 Watching his lover finally back to being happy again today, in the most beautiful monster form that Garou have ever seen, on this beautiful and serene flowery scenery, it made Garou's heart fluttering.

He wants to pampering Badd more and spoiled him rotten after they get back to their home.

 Make his lover's birthday feel special today! Heroes Association's mission report be damned. Those can go to hell, Badd's well-being is the top priority right now.

 Monster Garou noticed that Monster Badd still smiling softly at him, who suddenly opened his arms wide, enthusiastically asking Monster Garou for some loving hugs. The Angel wanted to hold his Demon as tight as possible, as he also wanted to convey how grateful he is for the heartwarming gift he received before.

 With a grin full of fondness, he picked Monster Badd up and held him in his strong arms, kissing his silky soft white hair that full of tiny flower petals. While Monster Badd encircled his arms around Monster Garou's neck, and his huge white fluffy wings covered them both so they would be as close as possible in an intimate embrace.

 Neither of them had realized that some reporters and photographers were approaching while taking videos or pictures of them from afar..

 And neither of them seems to care for that, all that matters are the warm embrace, sweet nothings words and love vows they whispered softly to each other, and the love they have been sharing during their intimate moment together...

 -------------------------------

 Hours later, Badd and Garou, who are already back in their human form, were seen walking side-by-side together on their way back home in City-S. Despite still being tired as hell, in tattered clothes, and also looked a bit bloodied with some monster blood smeared on them, too. But they both seems happy, nonetheless.

 They just don't care for people around them, who are either admiring their heroic deeds or giving weird look on their battle-ragged appearance. Both only have focus on eachother, enjoying quality time by chatting casually while handholding together, re-planning for Badd's small birthday party with Zenko once they get back to home, or just sharing sneaky kisses on the cheek during walking.

 Just when they're taking a stroll in the middle of S-City downtown, something happened unexpectedly. On a big screen in the S-City downtown, there's a birthday celebration video broadcast for Badd. It consist of 3 main video contents:

Firstly, a beautiful angelic Monster Badd smiling sweetly with many tiny and pretty colourful flower petals decorating his form and his white fluffy six-wings, surrounded by flower field and green scenery, his expression looked so majestic and heavenly, truly like a godsend Angel because he rarely showing this special kind of softest smile ever,

 Secondly, a scene of Monster Garou hugged Monster Badd very tenderly, full of affection, revealing the softer side of both Garou and Badd, also showing pure sweet intimacy, emotional support, and huge amount of unconditional love that have been shared between the S-Class monster heroes,

 Lastly, a huge congratulatory message "Happy Birthday, S-Class Hero Metal Bat!", followed by the compilation of many smaller congratulatory messages from fellow heroes or important figures.

 At the end of video broadcast, people around them clapping simultanously together while apparently Garou, being the best boyfriend ever, start to sing "Happy Birthday song" for Badd in the midst of clapping. Hence everyone can't help but also followed his lead to participate in singing the song along with Garou.

 Those spontaneous and voluntary actions quickly brought Badd to tears, he's very touched by the fact everyone around him actually cared enough for him, despite he didn't ask anything from them. He feels so loved right now.

 Not to mention, once again Garou doing something wonderful to him, successfully giving a lots of joyness just to make Badd's spirit lifted again. He couldn't think if he can pay all of Garou's kindness he did today, because he knows Garou would says, "No, just let me pamper you in YOUR SPECIAL DAY. Please don't fight me on this I beg you".

 At the end of Birthday song choir, everyone cheered on him and giving a loud standing applause. Badd just flopped down sitting on the ground, he's crying so hard from the sheer happiness. Garou immediately come to his side consoling him, wiping his tears off. Once Badd stopped crying, Garou congratulate Badd again before kissing his tears streaked cheek, which causing even more louder applause.

 Applause sounds then also added with many other voices, such as cheering, cat calling, hollering, praises, congratulatory, complain for their PDA, and many more noises. Seeing all being very caring to them, Badd wanted to cry happily again. And then he’s really bawling in the middle of City-S main street, in the arms of his very confused dorky boyfriend, in the center of equally confused people’s attention.

 After a lot consoling by Garou to make Badd calmed himself again, both of them thanking all the people for their kindness. Of course it followed by everyone thanking them instead, for being very good heroes who always protected people.

 Just when Badd and Garou start to continue their walking, Badd's phone suddenly ringing. It was a call from Zenko. She questioned where are they right now and why did they still haven't at home at this hours. They feel so bad for making Zenko got worried alone in their home.

 But of course Zenko didn't forget to congratulate his dear big brother for his 22th birthday, wishing for all the happiness and prosperities for Badd. She then ended her call by saying,

"I love you, Badd-niichan! Please go home ASAP with Garou-niichan I just finished baking your birthday cake we can eat it together. Hurry up before Tama stepping on your birthday cake frosting again like 2 years ago!".

 With that, Badd urged Garou to quickened their steps, basically asking Garou to have impromptu race competition against him. Seems like got an energy boost from Fighting Spirit, Badd immediately start running towards their home leaving his boyfriend behind. Garou just smiling amusedly before joined running to catch up to his lover in a race.

 Badd was very grateful for everything that happened to him today. This is his BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!

  -THE END-

  -------------------------------

 EPILOGUE

 The next day, so many weekly heroes magazines or fashion magazines begin to publishing Monster Badd's beautiful pictures. From the photo collections, pin-ups, posters, magazine covers, or even as aesthetic photographs using his famous Birthday documentation that has been made from yesterday. The one with flower petals is the most favorite.

 Those are really loved by people, all of them. It also indirectly helped raising Badd's popularity as an S-Class hero among civillians and fellow heroes. Badd was so happy, because it seems everyone was accepting his monsterous (or angelic) form completely by now. No more ill-judgement towards him, only enthusiastic acceptance.

 Of course Garou enjoyed this trends as well. He proceed to hoard all of newest "Angel Monster" Metal Bat merchandises and premium edition of Monster Badd photo collections in their bedroom. Badd wasn't sure if he should feels flattered, happy, proud, exasperated, flustered, or embarrassed.

 While Badd still blushing hard by Garou's antics, Garou hugged Badd from behind, keeping his adorable lover in his strong arms. He whispered,

 "Don't worry babe, I just wanted to support you. Beside, I already got the best one that nobody else have: YOU. You're my beloved Angel... and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you Badd, for being the most beautiful monster, most amazing Angel for my own Demon".

 Badd smiled happily in respond, he turned his head a bit to catch Garou's lips in a heartful kiss.

 "You're welcome, Demon-boy", he answered as Garou tightening their loving embrace.

  -TRUE HAPPY END-

  😈💙❤😇🌸🌸🎂🎁🎉🎊

 Notes:

 If there’s anyone who still haven’t know about the origin of this AU, these are the illustrations for Angel Monster Badd, drawn by @the-goddessfighter, which are used for the story (he looks so beautiful in these drawings, tysm Temperans-sama! 💖):

 •https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/625111244297453568/ (Badd's monster form concept art)

•https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/626035692265488384/ (NSFW! with Demon Monster Garou)

 So, this idea was created when I was thinking about,

"What if Angel Monster Badd smiling sweetly for Demon Monster Garou with tiny flower petals decorating his hair, his body and his six-wings while surrounded by colourful flower field?".

 I really wanted to see him like that, the imagery seems beautiful in my imagination. So soft, so pretty, so majestic...

I know Badd is already a very beautiful man, but his Seraphim-like monster form, especially his angelic feature combined with tiny flowery decoration... While giving his special smile for his lover..

I'M MELTING FROM THE SWEETNESS 😳💕💖😇🌸🌺🌼🌷🌹

 If there's someone willing to make an illustration for this particular image, or just any scene from this story, I will be forever grateful for that! 😳😍👍💖✨

Pleaaseee make this happen aaaa-- 😣💦😭🙏💝

 I hope you like it, Temperans-sama! Just think of it as my birthday cake treat for you, please enjoy it 😉🎂🍰💝

Also, this is my grateful gift after you gave me the MAJESTIC Monster Demon&Angel Batarou (the HOLY F*CK™ art 😋👍😈👉👌💦🔥💕💖😇) on last month, thank you so muuuch I LOVE IT! 😘💋❤💜💙💖💝💐

 On the other hand, although my writing skill is very far from being decent or enjoyable (actually I don't have that talent whatsoever I'm just trying to scribble down a bunch of random headcanons, lol), I still want to share happiness by sharing it to everyone in the fandom!

Because this year I can celebrate my birthday with Batarou fandom. I love you guys! 😚💕

 Thank you so much for accepting me in the fandom *bows deeply* 😭🙏🙇💕💖

   Temperans_ First: this is beautiful by any measure, second: this must be the most passive-aggressive media stalking ever. They were lucky they were just doing sweet things. And if the temperature rises, doing what we already know in the field of flowers???? OMG what would they have put on the screens? I want to think that they "respectfully" would have left them alone. Anyway, this gave me a lot of encouragement to start classes again tomorrow. I am so grateful that you took a whole month to prepare for this. You are a valuable member of the fondom and no one can deny it.

 Dedicated for:

@the-goddessfighter, @beautifulnightmareus, @kaincuro, @metalbatandzenko , @guby1620, @irisvseyelash, @jusqu-une-etudiante, @garous-nipple, @charmehs, @aforrestofstuff, @dies-first, @personne-tmblr, @mythic-blood, @justin-peudeau, @nancchan, @no1deahowthiswork, @freedomaboveallelse, @rayadraws, @guppys-paw, @mydearmagnoliamay

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XXXII

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Masterlist  Prev. | Part 32

Word-count: 4.6k+

A/N: hands up who thought we’d survive getting to senior (technically junior) year?

The good news: You survived months of professional assassins trying to murder everyone you loved and months of being held prisoner by an evil fox spirit, and you passed all your finals. You were a junior now. The bad news: It was a full moon and you were chained to a tree to keep from murdering your aforementioned loved ones. And the blood on Liam’s hands didn’t make it any easier to stay in control. 

You’d been through this so many times with Isaac, Erica, Boyd, Malia, Scott, and Liam, but you never understood how much the moon changed them. You knew about it, on paper, but actually experiencing it was a completely different story. 

As cheesy and disgusting as it sounded, focusing on Stiles was the only thing that kept you in control. You’d tried other, less cliche, methods with Scott to prepare but none of them stuck - at least not the way listening to Stiles’ heartbeat stuck. 

He was nervous tonight, but not because of you or Liam. He was nervous because tonight was the first phase of his grand plan for the pack to stay together after senior year. If you were going to be stuck in Beacon Hills for another year, you weren’t sure how you fit into that grand plan.

Lightning struck overhead and Stiles’ heart leaped for a second. “Do you think it’s been long enough?” he asked Scott. 

“Yes!” Liam yelled from the tree next to you. 

“Hey,” Stiles said as they turned to look at the two of you. “We’re trying to have an adult conversation over here. Not you, babe. You’re-”

“Alright, that’s disgusting and you’re only two years older than me,” Liam said. “And I’m fine. Just let me go.” 

“Are you sure?” Scott asked as he hopped off the Jeep’s hood. He made his way over with the key for all the locks and chains as the sky rumbled overhead. 

Liam complained some more about how of course he was sure and you just tried to not look like you were dying as they came over. 

“It’s not that we don’t trust you,” Scott started, doing his best to keep the peace. 

“It’s that I don’t trust you,” Stiles said - peace be damned - before looking over to you. “Again, babe, not you-” 

“It was one slip up!” Liam whined. 

“Slip up?” Stiles repeated. “A dozen calls to the Sheriff's Department about a ‘monstrous dog-boy’ running around the streets of Beacon Hills naked. That slip up?” 

You frowned as Stiles helped you out of all the chains. His hands were warm and you leaned on him more than you should have when he held you in his arms. Focusing on staying in control and blocking out the impending storm was a lot more tiring than you expected. “Hey, biscuit, why were you naked?” 

“It was really hot out that night, okay?” Liam said defensively. “Let me go. It won’t happen again.”

“You’re in complete and total control?” Scott asked. 

You wanted to say something about the blood but something in Liam’s face changed your mind. He’d been so sweet with helping you these past few nights; it kind of felt like you owed him one.

“Yeah,” Liam lied. “Complete and total.” 

“Great, then let’s get on the road,” Stiles said, squeezing your arm for a second before letting go to scoop up all the chains. 

You walked ahead with Scott so you could get settled in the backseat of the Jeep. You sighed and leaned your head against the window as you tried to breathe. Scott was leaning in through the window and looking at you when you opened your eyes again. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“I think so,” you said. “Still a little new at this.” 

“You’re doing great,” Scott said with a smile. He tapped against the side of the Jeep before moving out of the way so Liam could pile in.

Liam and Stiles had been arguing from the moment they got in the car to the moment Stiles pulled over to check what was wrong with the Jeep, and the ceasefire was only because you and Liam had to stay in the car. Liam looked at you for a second before offering you one of his earbuds. You shook your head and he shrugged before popping one in his ear. 

You yanked it out as lightning struck the ground about fifty feet away. The sound made your skull want to explode. “Did you see that?”

“See what?” Liam asked. 

The lightning struck again and the two of you jumped in your seats. Both of you scrambled to hang out the Jeep’s windows, despite the strike still ricocheting through your head. 

“Guys!” 

“Yeah, give us a second, please,” Stiles said, ripping another piece of duct tape for the engine. 

“Just stay in the car, okay?” Scott asked. 

“We’re still in the car but-” you were cut off by another lightning strike, this time maybe ten feet away from where Scott and Stiles were fiddling with the engine. 

Stiles’ heartbeat raced. “That was close,” he said, sounding calmer than he felt. “Very close.” 

Scott slammed the Jeep’s hood shut a second before it kicked back to life. You’d never seen the two of them jump like that because of an inanimate object. Well, excluding that time in sixth grade but you tried not to dwell on it.

“Okay, will you please get in the car now?” you asked, voice strained. You didn’t like the sound of Stiles’ heart beating like that and you definitely didn’t like how close that lightning was. 

All the excitement made you lose control for a second and you dug your nails into your palms to keep your cool. Pain made you human. Pain made you- Stiles slipped his hand through the gap between the door and his seat. Maybe pain wasn’t the only thing that made you human. 

You held his hand the rest of the way to Malia’s. Usually, you were the one that got smushed into the middle seat, but tonight you made Liam do it. No one seemed to mind until he brought up Malia’s super secret summer school adventure.

“You told him?” Malia asked. 

“Oh, no. All they said was that you had to go to summer school ‘cause the principal said your test scores weren’t good enough and you might have to repeat junior year,” Liam said with a smile. 

“We should’ve left him chained to the tree,” Stiles mumbled under the wrath of Malia’s glare. 

Malia tightened her jaw and you reached your hand over Liam to find her. “Hey,” you said gently. “I went to summer school too, remember?”

Malia didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive to the hospital, and you didn’t think she’d say anything else while the two of you waited in the hospital for Scott and Stiles to get back. 

“I still don’t know why you and I are here,” she said eventually, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Because I’m not a senior and you’re undetermined?” you asked, turning around to look at her. You closed your eyes for a second to block out the hospital lights. 

Malia didn’t notice. “I just think … shouldn’t we wait until we know for sure?” 

“Probably,” you said with a sigh. “But this is really important to Stiles, so even if I’m not technically allowed at Senior Scribe, I’m still gonna- Oh, here they come. That’s still so weird.”

“You get used to it,” Malia shrugged.

“-Like what?” Scott asked when they were close enough. 

“Like, uh, ‘Don’t worry, we’re not exclusive. Go have fun with other guys,’” Stiles said.

“What? No, no way,” Scott said. 

Stiles turned to you and Malia. “Uh, ladies, if you were going away and the person you’re dating said ‘Don’t worry, go have fun,’ what would you think they were talking about?” 

“You mean fun like sex with other people?” Malia asked. 

You popped your head around her to look at Scott and Stiles. “Or fun like bowling?”

“Okay, yeah, now I’m worried,” Scott mumbled as he pulled his phone out to check something. Some paramedics rolled a patient passed you and he looked up to your mom. “Hey, Mom, where’s all this coming from?” 

“A jackknifed tractor-trailer on 115 caused a major pile up,” Mel said over her shoulder. 

“Okay, okay, there’s only one way back into Beacon Hills from the airport,” Stiles said, taking a breath. “Kira’s never gonna make it.”

“I can get her,” Scott said, already walking out the door. “You guys head to the school. Lydia’s probably already there. We’ll meet you by midnight-” 

You hated the sound of that plan. “Scott, is that really such a good idea with the-”

“By midnight,” Scott said. “Promise.”

---

Siles hadn’t wanted you to stay at the hospital with Liam, but he gave in when he realized that you’d have to wait in the Jeep in the storm and remembered how much you hated storms. It was a good thing too because Liam came running up to you in the waiting room maybe half an hour after everyone left babbling about Scott and something that attacked Parrish. 

After getting some clarification, the two of you ran to the school. The blood pumping through your body and the power in your muscles made you feel alive again. You hadn’t felt like this in such a long time that you almost didn’t want to stop.

Then you remembered that some guy with power-stealing talons was after your brother. 

It took a second to process the scene in front of you: Scott had been thrown against the wall and Kira was crumbled a few feet away from the biggest, angriest werewolf you’d ever seen. 

Your second was up and you ran at him from behind, legs wrapping around his waist and using the crook of your elbow to cut off his air supply as you applied pressure to the back of his head with your other hand. He struggled against you but your grip was too tight. He slammed you against the wall and you could have sworn your ribs started cracking the second time he did. When you started losing your grip, you panicked and gripped a fistful of his hair to pull his neck to the side. You sank your teeth into his neck. 

It was revolting. 

Metallic. 

He used your surprise to slam you into the wall again, this time coming loose from your grip completely. He picked you up off the floor by your neck, sliding you up the wall as you sputtered his blood back onto his hand. 

That’s when it happened. He dropped out of the sky and made a bee-line for where you were fighting for your life. The taloned werewolf dropped you to deal with the new threat. 

You spat out any remaining blood on the concrete and tried to breathe again as you watched them fight. The new guy clearly knew what he was doing but that didn’t stop the big guy from knocking him down and going for Scott again. 

He sank his claws into your brother’s stomach just as Liam and the others got there. You struggled to your feet but Scott had it handled; he rose up and broke the werewolf’s arm before pulling the leftover claws out of his stomach. 

“I don’t know who you are or what you thought you were going to do, but I’ll give you a choice,” Scott told him. “You can stay and I’ll break something else. Or you can run.” 

The werewolf looked between Scott and the rest of you. 

“I’d run,” Stiles said.

The taloned werewolf hobbled out into the rain and disappeared into the dark as you ran over to Scott. He pushed away your attempts to check on him, instead using his sleeve to wipe your chin. He didn’t seem happy with the result but the others were closing the distance and he didn’t have the time to fuss anymore. 

Your friends made a semi-circle around Scott and appraised the new guy. He wasn’t one of you, but he helped.

The new guy laughed as he came over, amused by everyone’s clear distrust of him. “You don’t remember me, do you?” he asked. “I guess I look a little different since the fourth grade.”

“Theo?” Scott asked. 

Your eyes shot over to Stiles’. Theo Raeken? your look asked. 

No way in hell, his look answered. 

“You know him?” Malia asked. 

“They used to,” Theo said. “Trust me, I never thought I’d see you guys again. Couple of months ago, I heard of an Alpha in Beacon Hills, and when I found out his name was Scott McCall … I just couldn’t believe it. Not just an Alpha, but a True Alpha.”

“What do you want?” Scott asked.

“I came back to Beacon Hills - back home with my family - because I want to be part of your pack,” Theo said.

“Sorry,” you said. Theo’s eyes drifted to you and you couldn’t tell if he was impressed by how much you’d changed or by the bloodstains on your chin. “We’re at capacity. Try again next year.” 

Scott turned to you with a sigh. “Y/N-” 

“No, Scott, it’s okay,” Theo said. He was dangerously calm. “I’m here to stay, so you guys take your time. Think about it. You know where to find me.” 

--- 

“And?” you asked as Stiles piled back into the Jeep. He sighed as he slammed the door shut behind him. “Did your dad buy your pretty please?” 

“No, but he did buy my threat to rope Parrish in, which worked just as well,” Stiles said, pulling his seatbelt out and buckling it in. “Theo’s got a speeding ticket.” 

“That’s it?” you asked. 

“What do you mean that’s it?” Stiles asked. “One single speeding ticket from eight years ago, signed by his dad. That’s suspicious. Who speeds?” 

“Everyone speeds. You speed,” you said. You bit your lip and tapped your fingers on your leg. “But I still don’t trust him.” 

“You don’t?” Stiles asked. “Didn’t you used to have a crush on him?” 

“Ew, no!” you scoffed. “I hated that little creep.” 

“But you were always so mean to him,” Stiles said. “I thought that meant you had a crush on someone in the fourth grade.” 

“Well, I was in the third grade and back then being mean to people just meant you didn’t like them,” you said. You interlaced your fingers with Stiles’ over the gearshift. “Besides, you’re the only one I’ve ever had a crush on.” 

“Aww, you had a crush on me?” Stiles asked. “That’s kind of lame, babe.” 

“We’re literally dating.” 

“Still.”

Stiles always drove you to school on the first day, and you thought that would make you feel less nervous but your nerves sky-rocketed the second you got into the school. Everything was too loud, too bright, and too overwhelming. So when Stiles found you between fourth and fifth period saying he and Scott were going to interrogate Theo, you jumped at the chance.

Theo didn’t seem to mind your presence in the locker room so much, but Scott didn’t seem to like you skipping classes on the first day of school. It was difficult to care about Scott’s disapproval when you knew you’d have torn the throat out of the next kid who asked to borrow a pencil.

Theo’s story about skateboarding and getting injured was convincing enough. The details made it seem real and the parts he skipped kept it concise; either you and Stiles were paranoid or he was a really good liar.

“Right. So why aren’t you part of his pack then?” Stiles asked. You and him were leaning against the lockers a few feet away from where Scott and Theo were talking, but you were pretty sure they could feel his distrust from all the way over there. “Why didn’t he come back for you?”

“Because, by the time of my first full moon, he was dead,” Theo answered. 

“And you know this how?” you asked.

“I met another one of his pack a couple weeks later,” Theo said, nodding his head at you. “He told me the Alpha that bit me was killed by two of his own Betas. They were twins.” 

Scott looked over at you and Stiles. The twins had to be Ethan and Aiden, but they had to kill their whole pack to get in with Deucalion. Did they let someone live like Kali did?

“Scott, listen to my pulse,” Theo said. “I’m telling the truth.” 

“Right, or you just know how to steady your heart rate while lying your ass off,” Stiles said as he pushed himself off the lockers.

“Why would I lie?” Theo asked. 

“Because maybe you’re not who you say you are,” Stiles said. 

“Okay, uh-” Theo took a breath and looked over at Scott. “In the fourth grade, you had an inhaler. I had one too. I remember this day where I ended up in the nurse’s office with an asthma attack. A bad one. I was waiting to be taken to the ER, you were waiting for the principal. You told me what would happen when you go to the ER for asthma. How they give you oxygen, an IV of prednisone. You made it sound easy. Like everything would be okay.” 

Stiles rolled his eyes next to you but you put a hand on his shoulder. You were trying to focus on Theo’s heartbeat and that was difficult with all the sarcasm next to you. 

“I’ve been by myself this whole time. Everybody knows that lone wolves- they don’t make it on their own,” Theo continued. “I swear I’m that same kid from fourth grade. I was hoping you are too.” 

The bell rang out before Scott got the chance to answer. Theo mumbled something about making a good impression as he left and you and Stiles drifted closer to Scott. He seemed convinced but you knew Scott wouldn’t do anything without Stiles’ blessing. 

“No,” Stiles said. “Don’t give me that look.”

“We have to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes,” Scott said.

“Not this time!” Stiles argued. “I’m right. There’s something off about him. I can feel it.” 

“You can’t seriously trust him after all this time, can you?” you asked. 

“You trusted Isaac after not seeing him for years,” Scott said. “You trusted him more than me, remember?” 

“That was different. That was Isaac,” you said. The second bell rang out and you sighed. “We’ll talk later, okay?” You squeezed Scott’s arm and kissed Stiles’ cheek. “I’ll meet you guys in the library after school.”

As you left, you could still hear the two of them bickering over the benefit of the doubt. Scott had a point, but you didn’t like Theo when he was ten years old and you sure as hell didn’t like him now. 

You put your bad feelings on hold as you got through the rest of your day, and you couldn’t mention them during your study session at the library. Malia got seriously annoyed when people interrupted her train of thought, and you weren’t going to be the unlucky victim of one of her glares. Thankfully, Stiles took your place. 

He burst through the library and slapped two pieces of paper down on the table in front of you. He leaned on the back of your chair as he waited for one of you to say something. 

“So you found something?” Scott asked. 

“Another signature,” Stiles answered. “This is Theo’s dad’s signature on a speeding ticket from eight years ago.” He tapped the speeding ticket to prove his point before moving onto the next piece of paper. “And this is his dad’s signature on a transfer form to Beacon Hills High School from just a few days ago.”

“How did you get his transfer form?” Kira asked.

“You didn’t break into the Administration Office, did you?” Scott asked. 

“No, I did not break into the Administration Office,” Stiles scoffed. You tilted your head up to look at him. “What? Okay, I might have broken into the Administration Office. Can we just focus on the signatures, please?” He tapped the papers again. “They’re different.”

“They’re sort of different,” Malia said.

“They’re completely different!” Stiles said. “Come on. Look: the garlands don’t match, the undulations of the sinuous stroke are totally off. And look- look at this. Perfect example of the Criminal Tremor.” 

“So now, Theo is Theo, but his parents aren’t his parents?” Kira asked. 

“Someone’s not someone,” Stiles said. 

You slid the papers around and looked at them. Malia was right about them being ‘sort of different,’ but how many receipts had you signed that your signatures looked nothing alike? The key to a good forgery was getting it as similar as possible, and these signatures were pretty damn similar. 

“And when I figure out who that someone really is,” Stiles continued, “Someone’s in big trouble.”

“But no one’s actually done anything wrong,” Scott said hesitantly. 

“Yet!” Stiles said. “If Theo’s parents are both psychotic killers, then obviously we shouldn’t trust him, right?” 

“My parents are Peter and The Desert Wolf,” Malia said. 

“Okay-” Stiles rubbed his forehead. “It’s fine. You know what? I’ll figure it out myself. Alright? I don’t need you or you or you.” He paused when he saw the look on your face and relented slightly, “Okay, I kind of need you, but not right now. Right now, I don’t need anyone!” 

Stiles blew out of the library just as quickly and dramatically as he came in. 

You sighed and started closing your books. Shoving your books into your bag, you said, “I’m gonna follow him. You coming?” 

“Duh,” Scott said. He was already standing with his bag on his back.

---

You and Scott stood next to the Jeep for what felt like hours waiting for Stiles and Liam to get back. While you did, you argued about why you couldn’t follow them through the woods (because you’re not there to spy on them!), Scott asked you why you were skipping classes on the first day (because you just needed a break!), and the both of you wished they’d just come out of the damn woods already. 

It wasn’t that you and Scott didn’t get along, it was just that things were more intense since you’d died. Everything was heightened and the only person that really understood that was Scott, so he got the worst of your outbursts. To be fair, it never lasted long. The two of you had made up long before Stiles and Liam showed up.

“Find anything?” Scott asked. 

“Nope,” Stiles lied, heading for the driver’s side of the Jeep.

“I fell in a hole,” Liam said with an unusual smile.

“Right on, buddy,” you said, putting an arm around him and walking him a few feet back to give them some space. 

The Jeep started stammering again when Stiles tried to turn it on. He called your name and asked you to get in the front seat and turn the ignition when he asked. You did as he said as he popped up the Jeep’s hood. You tried the Jeep and it sputtered again. Scott tried to talk to Stiles and he argued. You tried the Jeep again and it faltered. Scott tried to talk to Stiles again and he exploded. 

“Why can’t you trust anyone?” Scott asked. 

“Because you trust everyone!” Stiles yelled. He slammed his fist into the engine and you felt the vibrations in your seat and the impact in your bones. 

You started opening the door but Liam reached out for your arm across the gearshift. “Stiles-” 

“Are you okay?” Scott asked.

“I’m fine,” Stiles lied. His heart was racing, but that didn’t shake out the sound of his fist hitting the metal out of your head.

“It could be broken,” you said quietly, mostly to yourself than to Liam or anyone else. “He could’ve broken his hand.” 

You couldn’t focus on anything else until the Jeep kicked back to life underneath you. Looking up, you met Stiles’ eyes through the windshield - you didn’t know who looked like more ready to cry. 

“Get in,” you said. “I’ll take you home. Scott can take Liam.” 

“But I-” 

“I can take you home,” Scott said. He nodded at you as Liam got out of the car. The two of them drove away before Stiles even got in the car. 

The door came to a deafeningly quiet close and you didn’t know what to say to him so you didn’t. You didn’t realize this was bothering him so much. Maybe it wasn’t this specifically, but this in general. The ever-changing this.

“Look, I know you think I’m crazy but I just don’t trust him, okay?” Stiles said. He was trying so hard to keep his voice level. “There’s something about him. Something off. I can feel it and I- I just need to prove it.” 

“I didn’t think you were crazy,” you said. “I’ve never thought you were crazy, Stiles. Not now. Not when you were in Eichen. Not even when you were thirteen and convinced me that stealing a police cruiser was a good idea.” You shook your head and started the car. “I just wish you’d talked to me.” 

“I know,” Stiles said with a sigh. He rubbed his forehead again, and then he winced at the pain in his hand. “I’m sorry.” 

Neither of you said anything for the rest of the drive home, but after five minutes, Stiles moved his hand over to yours on the gearshift. It was cold, still a bit shaky, and it made your heart race just like it always did. 

The first things you did when you got to the Stilinski’s was shower and get changed. Melissa said she’d take you home after her hospital shift, but you weren’t sure you could wait that long to get something to eat. It had been a long day. Rubbing your face, you stumbled back to Stiles’ room. 

He was sitting on his bed, staring at his conspiracy boards, but he leaned over and grabbed a very familiar metal bottle from the nightstand. “Come on, it’s been at least 12 hours since you had anything.” 

“Stiles, I can’t eat in front of you.” You looked down and knocked on the door frame. “It’s pretty morbid.” 

“Babe, I’ve seen morbid and this isn’t it,” Stiles said. You weren’t convinced so he held out the bottle again. “Please? Then we can get some sleep.” 

“Okay,” you said softly. 

You sat on the floor in front of his bed and unscrewed the top. The sticky sweet smell hit you like a ton of bricks and you downed it in a matter of minutes. It felt like a disgusting breath of fresh air. 

Stiles put a hand on your shoulder and you rested your head on his knee. He ran a hand through your hair and the two of you stayed like that for a few moments before you got up and sat on the bed with him. 

“Why does it feel-” you started with a sigh as you pushed some hair out of Stiles’ face “-like everything’s already overwhelming and depressing?” 

“Because school started and everyone always tries to kill us when school starts,” Stiles sighed. He pressed a kiss to your temple and pulled you into his chest. Listening to his heart like this was always better than using super-hearing to listen from afar. 

“I won’t let anyone kill you,” you said, fingers tracing patterns on his chest. 

“Yeah, I know,” Stiles said. His arms tightened around your waist. “No matter what, right?” 

“I think we might have to find a new thing,” you said. “The nogitsune … why don’t you just tell me you love me?” 

“I love you,” Stiles said without missing a beat. 

You leaned up and kissed his jaw. “I love you too.”

Part 33

Tagged: @ietss​

[crystalgirl259]

The Flame and the Dragon Ch13

Chapter 13: The Cursed Castle

The staircase led to the first floor and Kai was back in the front hallway. The enormous locked doors to the front mocked him as he passed by. He snorted and growled trying to navigate his way through the labyrinth of chambers. His stomach refused to silence. He turned down another hallway but every corridor appeared the same. They were made of stone and lit with candles, but each was decorated in a different manner. This only made it more difficult to decide where to go.

Two oak doors blocked the end of the hallway.

A light leaking from the bottom caught Kai's attention. He turned the handles and shoved the doors open a crack, preventing any noise. His eyes widened as he scanned the enormous dining room Even in the darkness, the room was stunning. A smooth, green carpet covered the floor, while a red carpet stretched from the entrance, up too small steps, and to a large platform where a gold and silver table sat. Matching chairs in a similar fashion lined the walls opposite the ends of the table.

Behind the table, three windows covered almost the entire wall, shaped like the top of an octagon.

They were lined with maroon curtains tied with a gold cord. The darkness outside told him it was still night. A crystal chandelier lit with many candles hung from the ceiling on a thick chain, while candle holders lit with cream-colored candles rested on the oak tables. A huge fireplace framed with black stone rested in the opposite wall where a huge mirror rested above the mantelpiece. There was no ceiling. Instead, there was a balcony. Kai recognized as one of the ones he'd traveled when Cole showed him to his room, branched from one wall to the other.

Kai shivered to wonder what the room must have looked like during the day, with light spilling in from the windows.

In the far corner, lights danced behind another door, diverting his attention. He slowly approached the door and gently pushed it open. A short stone hallway lit by orange and yellow lights led to the kitchen where he could hear voices. Caution and curious, Kai pressed his back against the opposite wall, keeping himself in the safety of the shadows, before silently sliding towards the kitchen entrance. He carefully leaned over to peer inside. The kitchen was full of bright lights though he could only see a few candles and enormous wheel-shaped chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

In the corner was an enormous brick structure that Kai could've mistaken for an alter if not for the black smoke pouring out the brick tower.

There was blazing yellow and orange fire burning wildly within it. The kitchen was huge. It was an entire room made of stone and glass and the floor was made of a sandy-gold stone. The fire pit, contained by the enormous brick stove, rested in the far corner embedded in the wall. A line of black tools hung from the wall around the stove, so they were within easy reach. A tall man, taller than Kai with short black hair and ghostly pale skin stood before the fire pit.

With a wave of his arms, the fires roared to life, before calming with the flick of the man's wrist.

He carried jars of spices from the mess upon the huge wooden table in the middle of the room and rearranged them in the towering spice cabinet next to the stove. Servants moved about, two he recognized as the man and woman in the tower, scurried about the kitchen carrying plates of little cakes, baskets of apple and fruits, and trays covered with silver tins. They placed them all on a huge wooden table in the middle. The table was full of knives and cutting boards and overcrowded with apples, peppers, carrots, and other vegetables.

The servants gathered them all in baskets before relocating them in either the huge icebox in the corner of the enormous pantry, so large it covered almost the entire wall.

Over a large silver sink, Neuro scrubbed pots beneath a faucet of running water. Steam rose when the hot water touched the cool, gray water. Nelson was sat on one of the countertops drying plates. Tox and Ronin who Kai recognized from the tower were carrying large pots, struggling with large towers of plates and cauldrons of water. The two placed the objects on the table before a flash of turquoise and green surrounding them. A green naga and a short troll stood in their place.

They then relocated the dishes from the countertops to the cupboards above the counters.

They were carved from wood but each one had a glass window so people could see where each one went. The raven-haired man in the corner turned around, barking orders, revealing his true face. He had a few inches on Kai and pale, almost grey, skin and onyx-colored eyes. A strong hand wiped the sweat from his brow. He wore black gloves and a sleeveless black vest with silver shoulder braces, a silver wolf symbol with red eyes, and in front of a blue area on the chest.

His legs were designed with gray pants and black boots.

His white cooking apron was blotched with soot and stained red. Kai ducked behind the wall hoping he wasn't seen. His heart hammered in his chest in confusion and excitement, as he pondered who, or rather what, they were.

"UGH! I can't believe this! I slave all day over a hot stove, quite literally and what!? It all goes to waste!" He hollered as he raised his hands in protest. The other servants and the boy on the counter jumped. The only one unafraid of the cook's temper was Neuro, who was still doing dishes.

"Oh, stop your grousing! It's been a long night for all of us!" Neuro told him. Shade rolled his eyes but said nothing else. Not a moment later Jay, who Kai also recognized from the tower, bulldozed into the room through the opposite door, panting heavily. Echo ran beside him, looking just as exhausted as Jay.

"Sorry guys," Jay panted, before glowing in a dark blue light. A blue fox took his place. Kai's eyes almost bulged out of his skull. He couldn't look away as Echo closed his eyes and in a flash of gold, only a brown centaur remained. They had intended to continue their search for Kai, but they noticed how much work the others had to do since dinner was canceled and it wasn't like Kai could leave the castle. Wasting no time, Jay, in the form of a Raijū, grabbed a stack of plates clearly too heavy for him.

The tiny creature struggled to use his powers to float but managed to lift it and made his way towards the pantry.

"Jay let me help you," Echo begged his companion.

"I got it," Jay grunted until finally, he faltered as his body fell, sending plates scattering around him. Without thinking Kai dove and slid across the floor to catch the falling creature in his arms. Plates rained around him, as Kai pulled the shaking fox in his arms. Everyone, who had moved for the same reason, froze and stared at the boy on the floor. Kai blinked in surprise until his eyes widened in remembrance.

"Oh, you're there," Jay said. "Echo and I wondered where you disappeared too." He smiled. Kai reacted quickly. His entire body jumped and he fell backward until he was in a half-sitting, half-lying position. His eyes were wide with shock and awe. The action sent Jay flying into the air, forcing him to use his powers to float. The cook crossed his arms and smirked at the teen on the floor. Jay rubbed his head with a paw before blinking at his savor.

He smiled brightly and extended a paw to Kai, who stared at him with a mixture of shock, confusion, and amazement.

"I'm Jay, please to meet you."

"Uh, hello," Kai replied as he shook Jay's paw with two fingers.

"I apologize about this," Neuro said as he leaned forward slightly so his eyes met Kia's bewildered ones. "My name is Neuro, and before you ask, no you are not in any way mad, and I do hope our presence didn't shock you; we didn't expect to meet you formally until tomorrow, otherwise we would've made your acquaintance already but now that you're here, we'd like to welcome you, Master... Kai, is it?" He asked. Kai nodded, still shocked.

"Sorry about before." Tox hissed as she slithered over. "We didn't get to introduce ourselves, the name's Tox." She smiled before there was a flash of green. When it faded again a green-haired woman landed on her heels and offered a hand to Kai.

"Hello," Kai replied, a bit breathlessly, and shook the offered hand. Tox took the opportunity to pull him to his feet.

"Sorry, about earlier." Echo smiled sadly before reappearing as the brunette boy with gold eyes a moment later. "I hope all of our transforming back and forth didn't scare you." He smiled sincerely.

"It's alright, I don't mind." Kai smiled. "I'm assuming these are your cursed forms?" He asked gesturing to Jay's fox form.

"Only if we want, it's just exhausting to stay human and easier for us to move like this," Jay explained.

"But the Dragon Lord is a mix of man and creature, so how come none of you are?" He asked, wondering why they were suddenly switching between their human forms and the monstrous forms he recognized from the fairy tale. They all shared uncomfortable looks so Kai thought it'd be best to drop the subject.

"I'm Ronin." The troll smiled from the counter. Kai nodded with a small smile.

"Easy there, lads, you don't wanna shock the boy anymore than he already has been shocked tonight." Shade teased before narrowing his eyes to the teen in front of him. Kai stayed still as Shade's hard eyes, void of emotion and impossible to read, scanned him over critically. "The boys told me you're the reason the Master was throwing a fit this afternoon, is that true?" He asked and Kai raised an eyebrow.

"If he threw a tantrum because I refused to obey him then that is no one's fault but his own; I made myself perfectly clear when I said I refused to become another one of his servants just because we made a deal." He answered. Everyone froze for a bit, then Shade did the last thing anyone expected, he laughed.

"You got guts, it about time someone deflated the oversized ego of Cole's! He needs to learn to lighten up a bit." The cook laughed in such a way, Kai wasn't sure if it was good or bad until the noirette smirked. "Welcome to the hellhole, I'm Shade, the cook here and Neuro's husband, at your service."

"My name's Nelson." The boy he'd seen earlier jumped from the counter to greet him with a bright smile on his face. "You've already met Jay." He said and gestured to the blue fox floating in the air, knocking Ronin off the counter. The troll growled and began a chase. Kai ducked and moved, hoping to avoid the crossfire. Soon Tox and Echo both returned to their human forms and joined in the play.

"Don't mind them." Neuro chuckled. "They're always eager to see a new face; now, if there is anything at all we can do to make your stay more comfortable, please do not hesitate to ask."

"Yeah, we haven't had any guests here in ages!" Jay smiled, stopping in the air, causing the other three creatures to crash into him.

"Well, I am a little hungry."

"You hear that? He's hungry!" Neuro instantly beamed as he turned to Shade.

"Start the fire!" Shade smiled as he spun around and waved his hand. The oven erupted in flames. "Pull out the spices, break out the china!" He ordered and not a moment later, everyone did as commanded. The spice cabinet flew open and various jars of different colored herbs were removed and drawers opened, revealing the forks, spoons, and knives.

"Wait!" Tox countered. "Didn't the Master say-"

"Until I die, not a soul in this castle is going to bed hungry!" He declared, boldly. Kai almost blushed at the attention.

"Really, you don't have to-"

"Shut it!" Shade cut him off he dropped the two huge pots he'd been carrying on top of the roaring stove. Before Kai could blink Shade flew in front of him making him jump and stumble backward. Shade circled him, scanning him up and down then pinched his arm making Kai growl, and snatch his arm away

"What the hell are you doing!" He demanded angrily but Shade didn't seem to hear him.

"I've got my work cut out for me." The chef shook his head both in disappointment and in excitement at the new challenge. "Not to worry, when I'm done with you you'll never eat again! You need it, you're way too thin for a normal seventeen—"

"I'M NINETEEN!"

"That's even worse! Do you ever eat?! You're nothing but skin and bones!" Shade gasped in horror. Before Kai could answer, Shade started running around the room gathering ingredients. "We are going to need chickens, chestnuts, and broth for stuffing and plenty of hazelnuts!" He started shouting randomly, grabbing a basket of apples from the pantry, and began slicing through each one like butter. "Three cups of flour, six eggs, and a quarter of milk… MOVE IT!" He roared.

The servants scurried throughout the kitchen as the dook randomly shouted what he needed.

The chef darted from the icebox to the pantry or the table. He was grabbing, slicing, and throwing food over his shoulder into pots, on pans, or plates. The whole process was so quick and complex, Kai suddenly felt dizzy watching him work.

"TOX!"

"HERE!" The naga answered while Shade placed a tray of sliced cheeses and crackers and assorted fruits in her hands.

"Bring that to the dining hall and don't spill a single one or I'll skin you alive!"

"GOT IT!" She replied, before jumping off the counter and dashing towards the dining room. When Kai felt something pull on his sleeve, he looked down and found Nelson tugging on his sleeve.

"You'll love it, Shade's a great cook." He reassured the brunette. Smiling, Kai scooped the small boy into his arms, making him yelp, and walked towards the dining room. He shoved the doors open, so Tox and Ronin could get in and place the food on the table. He gently placed Nelson on the table and turned around just in time to see Jay fly in. The blue fox struggled to carry a huge bowl of gravy on his head as he panted exhaustedly. Taking pity on him, when Jay started to slowly fall to the ground, Kai took the pot of Jay's head and carried it to the table.

"Hey! That's our job!" Jay moaned in annoyance. Kai chuckled at the pout on the fox's face.

"What? So now I'm not even allowed to help? Fuck that! Listen, guys, I appreciate all this, really, but I can take care of myself, I really can't stand being waited on all the time." He insisted. The servants just nodded and retreated back to the kitchen before coming back with more food, putting up no resistance whenever Kai offered to help. When Shade finished, all things delicious and imaginable were spread across the table. Kai noticed they'd only set one plate for him, but looking at the display before him, he knew there was no way he could ever hope to eat all the food.

A basket full of ripe, red apples arranged next to a basket of bread and rolls that sat next to a plate of butter.

The centerpiece was a huge chicken stuffed with chestnut stuffing, next to a bowl of hot, buttery gravy. Wheel-shaped plates of cheese and crackers that were hemmed by pieces of ham and beef served as appetizers. A single, large golden goblet was filled with rich, burgundy wine. For dessert, there were plates of fruits. There were strawberries smoothed with cream and dusted with brown sugar, raspberries coated in chocolate, hazelnuts dipped in honey, and over a dozen tiny cakes filled with cream with light pink frosting.

Kai couldn't say anything as his mouth began to water at the sight of all that delicious food.

"I take pride in my work," Shade smirked, before gently shoving Kai into the dining room. He turned to leave but Kai stopped him.

"Aren't you having any?" He asked. Shade paused and raised an eyebrow, before remembering this was only Kai's first night here.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I literally can't, I can't leave the kitchen, I'm bound to it." He replied, sounding angry and almost sad. The noirette didn't give Kai time to answer and turned to leave again, but Kai jumped in front of him. He blocked the door before turning to the rest of the confused staff.

"You guys can't expect me to eat all that by myself, right? I assumed you were making enough for everyone?" He asked and Shade blinked. Kai's determination refused to falter. Again the cook smirked and crossed his arms.

"You got a good heart, but even though we can, we don't need to eat; it's part of our curse."

"When was the last time any of you actually enjoyed your own cooking?"

"Over a hundred years ago." He answered flatly. He resisted the urge to urge to snort at the stunned look on Kai's face. Instead of questioning him, Kai strolled back to the table and sat down at the table.

"Come on, the food looks delicious, and I already know there's a possible way I can finish all this by myself, so feel free; I'd don't mind, I like company."

"Sure." Jay shrugged as he hopped onto the table and grabbed a cake before plopping it in his mouth. Shade plucked the blue fox by his tail.

"At least have the decency to wait, I didn't go through all the trouble of cooking just so you could eat it all in five minutes." He scolded, while everyone else either grabbed a chair or followed Jay's example and took a seat on the table. Shade dropped Jay next to Nelson and leaned against the table, before grabbing one of the cakes and took a bite. "So, Kai, what would you like?" He asked. Kai's eyes scanned the mountains of food again, already feeling his stomach begging.

"I'll just have a bit of everything." He finally said. Kai had never cared much for the laws of physics, but whoever said the matter couldn't be created or destroyed clearly never met Jay or Ronin before. In the span of a few short seconds, the two creatures had devoured over half the food that was leftover, after everyone claimed their meal. They made all that food vanish in less than a few seconds. Kai could only stare at them in shock.

"Don't think about it." Someone suddenly said. Kai jumped and turned to Echo, who was standing next to him, munching on a cake and a strawberry. "Ronin and Jay are eating machines, Shade says the day he leaves either one of them in the kitchen unattended is the day he lets us all starve to death." The centare laughed before eating his strawberry. Shade nodded at this, sinking his unusually long canine into an apple. Kai chuckled before stealing another cake, while the two boys fought over the last of the cream-filled sweets.

He couldn't believe how much he was enjoying himself.

Everything unhappy and frustrating about the previous evening just seemed like a bad dream. Once everyone had eaten their choice of food, they'd began bombarding Kai with questions about himself, each one of them curious to learn everything about their new guest. He'd given up trying to persuade them not to call him Master Kai and decided it was just something he'd have to get used to. The younger staff and Nelson were all careful to avoid anything that related to his siblings, which he was grateful for.

Despite his unusual happiness, the ache of never seeing his family again left a heavy hollow weight in his chest.

"So, you like books?" Nelson asked, sipping a glass of orange juice.

"Lloyd and I used to spend all our time in the bookstore whenever we got a chance." He nodded. Jay perked up and let go of the cake he'd been holding, sending Ronin, who was trying to take the cake, flying backward and almost off the table.

"We should show you the library then, right Tox?" He asked, turning to the naga, who was busy licking the last of the chicken off a drumstick.

"Of course, it's on the second floor."

"You have a library? Where is it?" Kai asked, excited.

"We'll show you tomorrow, we've gone through the whole day already." Echo replied. Kai blinked before looking around for some form of a clock in the room. An antique grandfather clock in the hallway, chimed to life, alerting the staff it was already 9 o'clock.

"Wow, I guess time really does fly when you're having fun." He chuckled and continued to socialize with the younger staff. Tox, Jay, and Nelson all asked Kai questions about himself, especially when he let it slip that he liked to write. It rather surprised everyone else. It was almost too impossible to believe this guy was the same rebellious and feisty teen who'd all but sent their Master into a fury the night before. Ronin suddenly stopped eating and jumped from the table.

In a flash of turquoise, he returned to his human form and grabbed a large tray, and began piling it with enough food for at least two people.

He clenched the silver handles and turned to the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Kai asked curiously.

"The Master didn't come down for dinner, so he must be hungry." He answered flatly. A sudden rage filled Kai and he snorted, remembering the argument they'd had earlier. Ronin turned to the new guest and offered a small smile.

"He's really not bad, except when he's in a mood, but really, he's not bad; you'll forgive him when you get to know him and until then, have a good night." He smiled before exiting the room and strolling up the staircase Kai hadn't noticed before. Kai's ever narrowed but he said nothing.

"You'll have to forgive him, Kai." Neuro sighed. "It's just been so long, and he hasn't really interacted with people for quite some time; sometimes he forgets what it's like to be kind and I'm sure you can understand, haven't you ever felt so out of place it was like everyone was against you for reasons you could not understand?" He asked and Kai almost choked on the wine he'd been drinking. He couldn't answer, but Neuro's words echoed in his mind like a guilty conscious smacking him for an act of stupidity.

He didn't answer and instead just looked at the floor.

For a moment he wondered if it was Cole or him Neuro had been talking about. The last chapter of the fairy tale repeated in his head, and for the first time in two days, he had to remind himself it wasn't just a fairy tale, but a true story. A true story about a hundred years of isolation. He shook his head and tried to dispel the thoughts. He didn't want to think about that right now. He didn't want to spoil his good mood with those thoughts. He didn't regret his and Cole's argument earlier.

Tragedy or not, he reacted the way anyone would, he told himself.

Kai sighed and stood from his chair, causing everyone in the room to stare.

"I'm going to head to bed if that's alright." He said with a small smile.

"We'll go with you." Jay volunteered, floating up and resting on Kai's shoulder. Kai chuckled before offering an arm to Nelson. Nelson took advantage of the gesture and took hold of Kai's hand.

"Are you three coming?" He asked, Shade, Echo, Neuro, and Tox.

"No thank you," Tox replied.

"We should clean this up, and don't you dare volunteer to help, this is the only time of the night Shade and I get to be alone." Neuro smiled, teasingly, though the smirk on Shade's face suggested a few not so innocent intentions. Kai shuddered, before turning to Echo.

"Coming?"

"I have to help the others; the rest of the staff will want to meet you tomorrow." He replied and Kai nodded, before leaving the room, and asking his new friends the quickest way to the East Wing. No one noticed the shadow standing on the balcony overlooking the dining hall, or the green eyes transfixed on the smiling form of their new guest and the equally laughing faces of his staff. He retreated to the safety of the shadows hoping to let them have their moment of happiness, undisturbed...

****************

No one but Ronin noticed the flash of black retreating towards the West Wing. Ronin stopped outside a familiar door of dark wood, engraved with the stunning carving of a dragon. It stood tall and proud as beautiful as it was dangerous, powerful wings twice its length flexed to its full length empowering the border of the doors. Ronin shifted the weight of the tray to one hand and used his free one to knock the silver door knockers. Without an answer, the doors unlocked themselves with a loud click and the shifting of gears like a clock.

Swiftly, but gently, Ronin turned the doorknob and gently pushed the large doors open.

He was met with darkness, lit only by the crack of light from the hallway.

"Master?" He called gently, before entering the room and carefully closing it behind him. Only the bright glow of a large red candle in the corner lit the room. Shredded tapestries hung from the walls, and tattered orange curtains covered the glass doors leading to a balcony. A table covered in white cloth sat on the raised platform. On the table sat the Master's most treasured items, which Ronin dared not touch. The once-grand room was caked with dust and cobwebs.

The only thing untouched by the dust was the huge canopy bed in the corner.

The frame made from iron and the comforter and pillows were shades of black, red, and amber. The curtains around it were tattered and faded with age, but they'd done their job keeping age from touching the bed. The curtain was open and Ronin could see his master sitting there, wrapped in his enormous wings.

"Master? It's time for dinner." He called again. The Dragon Lord finally acknowledged his presents and opened his wings. Ronin gave him a small smile, before setting the tray down on of the broken tables. Of all the servants in the castle, Ronin was one of the only two allowed such familiarity with their Master. He wasn't sure if it was because he'd been there the longest, or if it was because Cole was the one who brought him there and offered him sanctuary.

Ronin accepted that gift with pride.

He made no effort to take advantage of it. Cole smiled and rose from his seat.

"Shouldn't you be making sure our guest doesn't get lost?" He teased.

"Don't worry, Nelson is with him; I'm not foolish enough to leave him alone with Jay, even you wouldn't do something that cruel."

"You put too much faith in me, all of you do." He chuckled lightly. "Anyone else would have, should have, given up on me long ago; I'd have already given up on myself by now."

"Don't say that!" Ronin said, too outspokenly, but it was too late to stop himself. "You don't have enough faith in yourself, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met! I refuse to believe that man who saved me can't be saved himself." He finally choked out, though it hardly measured up to what he wanted to say.

"You really think I don't want to believe that?" Cole asked rhetorically. "Do you really think, I hadn't thought of that when three strangers literally dropped on my doorstep? I hope and I pray and yet instead of an angel I get this brazen, obnoxious boy who can't hold his tongue or keep his temper." Cole chuckled, but Ronin knew it wasn't humorous. "I'm done and I won't pretend to be anything other than what I am." He sighed. Ronin opened his mouth to protest but Cole just smiled.

"Go to bed, I'm sure Kai would enjoy the company." He said and Ronin didn't argue. He just nodded and before leaving his master alone. When the troll was gone, Cole turned to the tray on the table, and with the weave of his arm, it crashed against the wall with the loud clang of metal and silver. He scowled to himself. They all placed too much faith in him. It would only be disappointing when he failed. He growled with disgust at himself before turning to the table in front of the balcony and gazed at the crimson red candle as the bright purple flame flickered back and forth.

One hand braced the rim of the table, the other covering his face with his black scaled paw.

The peace was married to the memory of those who'd given up everything for him. The ones he had lost. The ones he failed to protect.

"It's hopeless."...

[border-spam]

AU Troy Character Timeline

Right, so I saw an incredible breakdown of Troy’s mental journey/state of ego last night ( that I’ll see if I can get permission to post at some point ) that really kicked my confidence into overdrive for writing out a definitive timeline for the version of him I write about in drabbles/fics etc as it was so amazingly similar. This isn’t complete, it couldn’t be because man I have a lot of stuff for this guy, but I hope it’s interesting for people maybe looking for a somewhat logical bunch of HC content that works well with the info we were given ingame. 

Writing this was like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Except ten pieces are missing, and you have 2 dominos and a Mrs Cupcake card instead. If you like any of this, feel free to use it. I’ll eventually expand on it in my own works.

Pre Pandora Era - 28  years pre BL3

Severe self esteem / image issues from very early childhood. Leda’s death left Typhon both terrified of Tyreen and desperately paranoid about her safety, leaving Troy to feel far less valued and loved as he found himself constantly failing to compete for attention from his remaining parent. 

Typhon never outright called Troy a freak, but he overheard plenty of discussions with his mother and with Tyreen explaining why he was so sick all the time, why he looked the way he did, why he was broken. He never discussed these, they festered in the back of his mind for the rest of his life. 

Strived from an early age to be useful, being useful gave him the belief he was valued, and a “Great job kid!” from his father felt good enough that it could almost replace feeling loved.

Misses his mother intensely from the day she died, for the rest of his life. Had no one else to have platonic intimacy with bar his sister, which never felt as freely given as with his mother. 

Developed an extremely crippled sense of social behavior and rules. The only people the Twins could interact with till they landed on Pandora ( which I HC was between 18 -19 ) were each other, and their Father. 

Left alone on a giant empty planet with no one to tell them no, or instill an understanding of social rules to them regarding others, left them with only a feeling of personal value for each other. This is an extremely dangerous state of mind for any person who will need to function in a social structure, especially a person in power. 

Had it hammered into them over and over by their father that the galaxy outside their home was filled with murderers. Animals. Bandit filth. Not like them, not like their parents, horrible, vicious things that would kill them the second they could. 

Internalised that to the point where it was a crucial part of their development of self as children. The twins would genuinely struggle to comprehend any other human they met was a person, because they were told their whole developing lives that no one they would meet bar their father would be.

 Pre COV - 8 years pre BL3

Lands on Pandora with Tyreen. Woefully underprepared and worried sick, didn’t want to leave Nekro but had no other choice but to go with his sister or die. Misses his father immediately, but avoids talking about it, knowing it will cause an argument.

Disliked that their father had kept them on Nekro intensely, but not enough to hate him the way Tyreen did. This never changed and the regret for leaving him only rotted inside him over the years. 

Very excited to finally meet new people, but his social skills are learned through watching old echos and while he can mimic them, he doesn’t understand social intricacies as well as he’d hoped. This sabotages their first few attempts to communicate with Pandoran non bandit natives. 

Comes across as weird. Stutters, not good with eye contact, awkward in body language and very unnatural in appearance. Extremely tall (6″7), very thin and sickly looking with sallow skin and dark under eyes. His missing arm and quarter of his shoulder draw far more attention than he had ever expected and he becomes instantly self conscious of the damage to his right side, strongly disliking how it’s pointed out every time they try and interact with one of these idiots.  

The twins only had the clothes they had travelled in and at this point they are pretty much rags patched together over nearly 2 decades. Didn’t understand how much appearances were going to matter, Troy had been sure he’d be able to “Mingle with the locals no problem.”, and now feels like he’s letting his sister down by failing to perform the way he’d been so sure of. They move onto the bandit clans once they get laughed out of the first small town they try to impress.

Their first few interactions with bandits have very bad results. They both get mocked a lot, Troy gets insulted even more. This is the first time in his life he’s met other men bar his father and the harsh reality that he is not like other men is really starting to hit hard. He’s monstrously tall, he has no muscle, he’s bony and sick and the bandits make very clear to him that he’s a freak.

Unable to defend himself verbally to people that don’t seem to speak a coherent language, he feels impotent and emasculated. Troy’s gift with words has always been his strong point, something he was proud of, and the bandits barely even understand what he’s saying. Any interest he’d had towards them as other people gets quashed. They clearly aren’t the same as he and Ty, they are beneath them. Savages. They aren’t people after all. His dad was right.

This is the point where he fully switches to seeing almost all others as non-persons. They aren’t people, they aren’t what he and Tyreen are, or they wouldn’t act like this in response to the twins. Any possible empathy he could have developed over time is aborted at this point, and he begins to craft the God King persona he understands he will need to disguise his shortcomings under if he’s going to be in the public’s eye.

Begins to create it piece by piece. Designs their outfits, designs his tattoos and mods, his monstrous arm, their name. 

The Calypso twins are born, and the COV with them.

Early COV Era - 7 years pre BL3

As he learns how to communicate with bandits and craft a persona for Tyreen that they will be drawn to, the COV starts to form. While the huge majority of their followers are people they see as not even being the same species as them, they do also begin to fill the higher ranks with people they are meeting over time that they see as having value. 

People with skills in categories they don’t, engineers, media experts, accountants, are drawn to the COV for the same reasons as the bandits. Opportunity, just a different sort.

Joining in the early days means having the twin’s ears, and those who have excellent ideas, or bring talent to the upper echelon that the twin's don’t have themselves, eventually end up as high priests and Saints. Department leaders (eg: Mouthpiece ). These are the kind of people he sees as people, though still not on par with himself or his sister in value. These are the few he would be capable of having functional conversations with, building simple relationships. 

He has found value in his ability to be very useful within the COV. Leading the Media and Propaganda department has given him a huge amount of power, even if he still physically feels extremely frail. 

He’s settled into living in Tyreen’s shadow, she’s the star, but he’s the puppeteer, and he’s happy for it to be that way for the most part. While she can sometimes step out of line or treat him like he’s not equal, he’s quick to remind her of her place during these outbursts, and their relationship is relatively stable.

Troy is fiercely loyal and surprisingly gentle with people he has a bond with. Despite his desperation to have meaningful connections, to be cared for and liked as himself, they don’t stay around him long.

No matter how hard he tries to give them what he thinks they want, they eventually leave, and he doesn’t understand that they are distancing themself because of how he treats other people, not them.

Troy’s complete inability to view the vast majority of people as people means he has a total lack of empathy towards almost everyone else, and this is a terrifying thing to experience first hand. He doesn’t understand this is why his “friends” leave, why they stop being friendly with him, or request to be transferred to another district.  

“Why did you do that to them..?” - “Huh? Ohhhh, relax haha, it’s just a bandit.” - “What do you mean, just a bandit, they felt that Troy, what’s wrong with you?’ - "The hell? No, it’s a b.a.n.d.i.t. It’s not like us, it’s not like you, it’s just.. you know, a bandit! Doesn’t matter what I do to em.” -shrug- - “-horrified silence-”

He blames himself each time this happens and damages his already fractured self esteem further. He can’t comprehend that his actions are the problem, because he simply has no way to understand his actions are bad. 

Each time someone close to him leaves, it’s another hit to his already crumbling self worth. He has absolutely no strong bonds with anyone bar his sister, who at times seems to barely like him, and he is genuinely desperate for validation and care from someone who likes Troy, not Calypso, not the God he pretends to be.

Every time another one of his “friends” vanishes, another of his little connections to his own humanity breaks. He gets angrier, and sadder, the God King a little more snarling and quicker to snap. It’s a sore point Tyreen tends to dig in during arguments too.

She doesn’t need anyone else, but she’s seen the near manic excitement and happiness he has when he connects with another person over a shared interest or they show actual genuine kindness towards him and not his title. If that person then becomes upset with his lack of empathy, or scared of it and abandons him, it’s another open wound on the already dying soul inside him that’s barely still breathing.

He has a complete and defined understanding of right and wrong, but those rules only apply to people, and his social development from infant to adult left his comprehension of other people so stunted, he cannot fathom that the vast majority of others are people. 

God King Calypso is a fucking nightmare to anyone bar the select view he sees as “people like him”. A feral, cackling monster, as likely to airdrop a million dollars onto a tiny village and record the reaction, as he is to rip a bandits arms off during a raid and live steam them bleeding out. All the same to him. Just background NPCs in his game. Placeholder actors in his life. They don’t matter. All that does matter is how they make him feel, or how they further his sister’s goals.

Every year that passes by leaves the God King more polished and defined, more in control a persona, while inside its impenetrable shell Troy DeLeon is slowly being suffocated by the weight of his own sins, without having the ability to understand he had been sinning at all.

God King Era - 4 years pre Bl3

By this point, Troy’s isolation is now deadly. He is a deity, worshipped by billions, with absolutely no points of human contact in his life to anchor himself to reality. No one to help him understand how to apply his sense of right and wrong to his followers, only his sister, who is even more toxic and vicious than he is.

Every day since starting the COV, he’s distanced himself further from the worshippers, the bandits, the acolytes. They are screaming war meat now, they are chips to barter with, numbers on a viewer count, flesh to tear into when he wants to feel something.

His relationship with Tyreen is crumbling. She’s quicker now to imply he’s not as important, he’s not the Siren. She’s called him a parasite in front of a merger board, a burden during a discussion with department heads. Each new crack at his inner ego only strengthens the persona further. Makes it more attention seeking, more willing to lash out at others, more vicious.

His “friends"are long gone, either fled from the behemoth the COV now is, or far away in other districts, planets, cities. The people he is close with now in working relationships are held at arms length. He doesn’t let anyone near him anymore, he’s afraid they will leave too if he does. 

The isolation pushes him further into the God King persona every day. If he’s Troy Calypso, he doesn’t NEED anyone else. The further he sinks into it, the more aggressive, the more twisted his actions become, but he doesn't see it that way. This is what his followers want, so it must be fine. Why wouldn’t it be fine to ravenously tear into heretics on livestream if 8 billion people are tuning in to watch?

He’s becoming cruel, he’s becoming vicious, but the man he was before he reached Pandora is still whispering that Tyreen is treating him wrong. That this isn’t how it was meant to be, that he’s not weak or a burden.

But listening to that voice means also having to listen to the one telling him he’s warped into something disgusting that his mother would be so let down by, that his father was right about him being a broken monstrosity. He continues to ignore it, and he loses himself further every day.

The deeper he recedes into the God King, the more he starts having nightmares, the more those whispers in the back of his mind get louder. He does what he can to ignore them, but sometimes something will set him off.

An argument with Tyreen, a momentary feeling of regret for leaving his home, a pang of loneliness. He often can’t sleep, and he knows if he starts to wonder why, clarity for the horrors he’s done could crush him.

Drugs, sex, bloodlust, he tries anything to take his mind off the intrusive thoughts that grow day by day. That he’s a failure. He’s a freak. He’s a cold blooded murder, but every now and then he’ll wake up in a cold sweat and hate himself so much that he wishes he’d never been born. 

The feeling passes very quickly as the God King shifts back into place and swallows it down, but while it’s there it’s horrific. He see’s himself from other people’s eyes for just a moment and god what has he turned into. What has he done. He’s a fucking monster.

The man he had been is so damaged under the mantle of this vicious God he’s wearing as a skin that it’s barely alive anymore, and it’s what begs him to kill it in those fleeting moments where he sees past his own facade, where he just for a second realises how many people he has hurt.

He tore his throat out a couple of years before the start of the game story in a moment of lucidity after being sleep deprived for days on end. Tyreen reached him in time when his implanted vitals tracker each twin keeps for the other alerted her to his condition, but it was close enough that he was bedridden for days after her energy transfer closed the wound.

She had been furious with him and made sure it was was kept hushed, the rest of the clergy believing he was on reprieve. Only the twins know the truth of what happened.

He never takes the collars off anymore now, the scars are still there. Convincing Tyreen that it had had happened during a nightmare when he’d left his prosthetic on by mistake was easy. Convincing himself to try and forget he’d been lucid and how it still feels like the right thing to do, is not. 

By the point the story begins, Troy is in a constant state of exhaustion, and knows deep down everything he has been through and done to others was for nothing. Tyreen doesn’t care about him the way he does her. She may never have, or she changed, he doesn’t know anymore. 

What he does know, is that he won't ever be a real God, and that the only reason he’s still alive is because he is useful. 

Maybe he should never have tried so hard to be useful.

 Phew.

I guess in a nutshell, my Troy’s greatest downfall is the God King persona.

As long as that shit is active, as long as it’s being worshipped, he’s never going to snap into reality. The reality that other people are there, that he’s been hurt so badly as a person, it’s all impossible long as he is being treated as, and believes, he is a God. 

The manic moments of clarity he has in the later stages of the COV rule are few and far between, but they eat him alive as he can’t understand why he suddenly feels so terrible, why he’s filled with such consuming remorse.

Peel the God King off the broken man underneath it and you leave him bare, confused, scared. You make him have to deal with reality, with people, with himself. That’s when you get him to show regret, and understand what he’s done, and understand what Ty has done to him.

That’s the redemption.

When he realises the game he was playing was real for billions, and suffers for it. It ends where it ends as my Troy ain’t dyin’ :P I’ll get to my rewrite eventually.  I hope to keep exploring these ideas in the future. Just desperately wish I’d as much to work with for Tyreen as I do Troy. GB YOU HEAR THAT? YOU HEAR THATTTT??

[coleisunderrated]

Season 11: The Destruction of Zane Julien

You read that right. Season 11 ended up doing nothing more but destroy everything about Zane that made him who he was and was one big middle finger to all the character development and hardships he went through. Follow the cut for why and my biggest rant yet and the bane of my time in this fandom

Making one of the ninja evil was kind of a given seeing how much the fandom wanted it. I wouldn’t have had a problem with it either but the writers decided to ‘play it safe’ by using Zane simply because he’s a robot who can just be reprogrammed. It really dehumanized him, especially after he struggled time and again to be just as human as the rest of the ninja. I know Ninjago’s writing has never been stellar but there was a whole bunch of problems with Zane being the Ice Emperor. What was the point in making him evil if he had no real reason other than a shoehorned case of amnesia? which was the laziest way to go And why would they do it if they won’t go into the undoubtedly traumatic effects it will have on him or even the changes that could’ve happened within the team?

And worst of all, all the damage from that lazy and bad writing has been done. Season 11 ended up completely destroying his character.

Before season 11, Zane was the sweetest person of Ninjago. He grew and learned about himself and the world just like any other human. He was always the odd one out but soon earned his place in the team. He had a very sweet and loving relationship with his father and even if it’s been retconned, he was also accepting of his brother Echo. He found his true potential by embracing who he was and knowing the love he had for his friends. He even sacrificed his own life to stop the Overlord, dying as a true hero. He was a true protector and went through way more than any ninja did (besides Lloyd) to save Ninjago time and again. Even if he was a robot, he was, in a way, more human than many other characters in Ninjago. His story has been told and the only way to add more was to explore more of his past such as his encounter with the previous Master of Ice or his life between his father’s first death and meeting Sensei Wu. But all of that, all the character development and growth he had, and all the suffering he endured to uphold his duty, has been rendered meaningless and thrown down the drain the moment Zane was revealed to be the irredeemable and monstrous Ice Emperor.

Zane was made to protect those who can’t protect themselves. As the Ice Emperor, he did the exact opposite by ruling not just a city like Garmadon did but an entire realm with an iron fist. He also killed countless innocent beings. He committed genocide on Krag’s species and most likely many others who weren’t lucky to have any lone survivors. The formlings and the villagers being frozen wasn’t treated as such because ‘oh hey they’re still alive, they just can’t do anything’ but it was really no better than if he actually killed them. For the formlings, their culture, way of life, and knowledge of shapeshifting, had been wiped out for countless years. He killed so many people and living things, brought so much suffering to a whole realm, and committed countless atrocities that are absolutely unforgivable. Nothing could ever make up for what he did. He jumped beyond the moral event horizon further than any villain in Ninjago ever did and yes, that includes Harumi.

Much of the fandom and even canon put all the blame on Vex and while he can be considered the true villain of the Ice Chapter and him manipulating Zane to do his dirty work for him made him all the more vile, what is often overlooked is that Zane still did these terrible things out of his own will. The scroll corrupted him but didn’t erase his will and tyrant or not, he could still disagree with Vex, make his own decisions, and even did things Vex had no say in such as imprisoning Lloyd.

And then the writers only made it even worse with the way they ended it.

When Boreal was defeated, the other ninja finally realized the Ice Emperor is Zane yeah Ninjago has never been good with subtlety I’m actually disgusted that they, especially Cole, took him back. They knew he was a genocidal tyrant who caused decades of suffering to the whole Never Realm yet they don’t have to do any fighting and let Lloyd take all the credit and welcome him back to the team like all that never happened. They all took a backseat throughout the whole Ice Chapter so Lloyd to get all the spotlight and do everything himself yet again (which is a whole other issue in of itself). And once they meet up with Zane, all of his crimes and atrocities they know he did are forgotten just because he’s their friend and the protagonist who should always be treated as a hero no matter what he does. And Krag doesn’t even seem to be scared or angry when he sees Zane, who killed his kind. And then he gets to be with the ninja for a bit before they go home while the denizens of the Never Realm don’t seem to react at all to his presence. Even if he never really showed his face up to this point, the ninja and Vex would’ve surely said something but no, he's not an evil dictator anymore and was a good guy all along so he won’t have to face any repercussions or fess up to all the horrible crimes he committed. Then again, what’s the point if nothing could ever redeem him after all that?

And the message at the beginning of the Ice Chapter has also ended up being irrelevant. It strongly implied that not only is Zane no longer the good-natured nindroid we all know and love but that there will also be no going back. The only way it could’ve had any impact at all was if Zane was actually going to be gone for good. The possibility of it being the key to restore Zane’s memories also a waste of potential. Speaking of which, it was unrealistic and a blatant deus ex machina that Vex only had to say ‘protect’ and boom! Zane’s memories are back and he returns in a flash and everything is all good and normal again. He didn’t have to struggle one bit to recover his memories. Regaining memories is not that simple and Zane didn’t even acknowledge all the harm he caused nor does he really do anything to Vex other than freezing him for a bit. At this point, he has devolved into nothing more than the unsympathetic and unforgivable karma houdini he now is.

All this makes me think of a Twitter post I saw earlier of how ‘we were not ready for the ending’. With Nya learning to control ice at one point, the writers seemed like were seriously going to kill off Zane or write him off permanently and replace him with Nya. What could’ve also happened is somehow, if Zane survived, the First Spinjitzu Master’s spirit may sense what Zane did and would be so disgusted by his actions he takes away his elemental powers and pass them on to Nya or Zane himself does so. With Zane powerless and traumatized, he ends up leaving the team for good. He certainly won’t be able to stay in the Never Realm either given all the harm he caused and everyone there would most likely want him dead. If he didn’t die, he either shuts down permanently or leaves for some completely different realm and never comes back. I remember when the whole fandom was scared something like that would happen but looking back now, those would’ve been way better than that awful finale we got. Killing off Zane for good or him leaving permanently would’ve been a very huge move and Ninjago is no stranger to this stuff but that leads to another problem. The problem isn’t whether or not the writers will make any big moves, it’s that they often end up doing a bad job at it.

And the finale. Goddamn the finale.

The finale only made Zane look even more unsympathetic and undeserving of the happy ending or anything resembling it. You can forgive the monster who killed and harmed countless innocent people and caused a devastating eternal winter to a whole realm simply because they happen to be your corrupted friend who doesn’t remember you but they’re memories came back in a snap and you can fix them in an instant with the Power of Friendship(TM)! That is complete and utter bullshit! And it completely destroyed his place in the team. He can’t be seen as a ninja or a good guy anymore and the ninja know they’re siding with a murderer and tyrant who’ll never have to face any consequences for all the terrible things he did and will most likely never address all the trauma he’ll now have. And while I may not ship Pixane, can you imagine how devastating it would be for Pixal to know what Zane did? If the Pixane episode doesn’t address any Ice Emperor stuff or her trying to help him, it’s gonna feel very... off. Honestly, Zane’s relationship with the ninja and even Pixal is now very toxic.

And no, Zane apologizing or the ninja helping him being 'behind the scenes’ just won’t cut it. We can only get so much from what actually happens in the show. Even if it appeared in the show he’s done way too many things that are too terrible to deserve even an ounce of sympathy.

Gonna diverge a bit here but am I the only one who thought Vex also got off way too easy?

Anyway, with all said and done, Zane now feels completely out of place in Ninjago. The writers most likely had a different ending in mind that would result in Zane being gone for good but they changed it at the last minute and as a result, it doesn’t feel right with him there. It no longer feels like he’s part of the team and while the ninja still serve their purpose and have more of their story to tell, Zane doesn’t seem to fit in anymore and is... just there. The Ice Chapter completely threw away all the development he had and made his story a total waste. I’m also starting to fear this will affect Pixal, who (as far as the writers are concerned) is most relevant as a love interest, not a samurai or even her own character.

The only way the writers could salvage Zane’s character at all is to consider this season nonexistent and they’re doing a pretty damn good job at that and that isn’t really a good thing. As for the next season, I’m feeling ‘meh’ about it and while Cole seems to finally get some attention after that, I have some bad feelings about what’s gonna happen. Besides all that, Zane’s presence and status as a good guy now feels unearned and forced. And if he goes into any ‘protecting others’ spiel, what was once a core element of his character has become hollow and now makes him a massive hypocrite. That’s how bad this season ended up being for Zane, his story, and everything that made him who he was.

All in all, congratulations Ninjago writers. You took one of your most beloved and well-developed characters who deserved the world and completely ruined him beyond repair. I can’t wait to find out who will be the next character you’ll destroy.