#Foster care experience

[laniidae-passerine]

Danver’s specific brand of racism is so intrenched in love it’s fascinating. Her daughter is precious to her and her daughter is Indigenous and in this town, an Indigenous woman is not viewed as a precious thing. They are abused and raped and murdered and therefore, being white is the ‘better’ choice. She is actively whitewashing her daughter, not only because she’s afraid of what she doesn’t understand and because of typical coloniser mentality, but because she doesn’t want to lose her. Danvers can’t distance Indigenous identity from white violence and it’s killing what she loves.

[aroaceleovaldez]

okay i have like a billion aus where Nico gets wings for Reasons (because why not. they'd 100% fit his aesthetic) but anyways i am once again thinking about Nico getting wings somehow and Jason teaching him how to fly thank you for coming to my ted talk

[dykedvonte]

Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)

Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭

What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is

-💀

I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.

If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.

The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.

If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.

I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.

It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.

In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.

In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.

They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.

If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.

I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.

[ashpkat]

you know how most fandoms have that life angel and death angel au. yeah well. that but call is the life angel, and aaron is the death angel

[bookwyrminspiration]

war child // moonlark

kotlc art taglist:

@bronte-deserves-better@imaramennoodle@thisbluewind@theofficialkai517@ruewen-and-rising@thesandsofdawn@crumpledwitchfeet@ascendant-queen@axels-corner@loverofallthingssmart@silveny-dreams@girlofmanyfandoms@enbies-and-felonies@impostertamsong@sofia-not-sophie @alabestrine @keefes-hairgel @fanartofthelostcities@three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat@a-lonely-tatertot @cosmogyral-cleo @meg-doodles @dragonwinnie-kotlc@anaccidentwaitingtohappen@maglorslostsilmaril@even-if-in-another-time@crazedfangirl14@callas-pancake-tree@katniss-elizabeth-chase@wolfstar-being-ridikkulus@thefoxysnake@florida-preposterously@fandomsareforlife@deulalune@just-a-honey-badger

[yellowocaballero]

i dont know if this something you put a lot of thought into but it seems like you might and im curious so, what are some of your favorite themes to write about/the themes that interest you in writing or media?

Oh wow, good question. I put both a lot of thought and very little into the themes of my work. I always sit down and decide what I'm saying, and the meaning of the story, but some things always emerge in the writing. I usually discover what a story is actually about as I'm writing it. It's usually only after I finish the work that I realize what themes I had put in there, which seems like it should be bad. I think this means that a lot of my themes come through subconsciously. They're typically just...things I think about a lot.

I think the one thing I keep on coming back to is *tumblr voice* the mortifying ordeal of being known. That entire article, including the image of walking down a hundred stories of hell before reaching heaven, reconfigured my brain. It's just so damn hard to exist in a world with other people in it. There's an inevitability to hurting each other, but the love's worth it. Playing The World Ends With You at a vulnerable age primed me for obsession with this. That one quote from The Little Prince, ya know.

Generational trauma, cycles of trauma and abuse, and the long-term impact of trauma comes up a lot for me too. How being fucked up makes you fuck up others, the long-term consequences of being fucked up, the coping mechanisms we develop as a result. The ugly side of trauma and mental illness, the way we lash out and hurt people. I talk about escapism a lot, and the impact that has on you and the people around you long-term. This is usually exemplified through amnesia plotlines. This is a deep cut, but the Warchild series by Karin Lowachee had the best take on this I've read in a book.

Non-traditional love. I end up writing a lot of sibling dynamics, but I like creating unnamable and undefinable relationships. A lot of things I write just become very aro and asexual narratives. Love that saves. Love that isn't enough, but it still matters. The other side of love, which is grief.

I could go on. Forgiving yourself. Struggling to determine how to be a good person. How your identity & the intersections of your identity affect who you are. Power and power dynamics. A LOT of man vs self stories, like a lot a lot (I'm not overly interested by villains). The experience of being mentally ill and navigating the world as a mentally ill and/or disabled person. The differences between navigating the world as a man or a woman. I write a lot, so a lot of stuff tends to come up, lol. Roleswaps - fucking, somehow, for some reason, WHY, WHY DO I WRITE SO MUCH OF THEM -

Thanks for the ask, I had to do some self-reflection to answer it! I never really realize I'm writing about these things until I am, again. They're just all part of my framework of how I understand the world. Everybody has those, but when you're a writer it's easier to pull them out and microscope them.

[floral-hex]

BABY WATCH 2024!

First 24 hours with the new kitten. Thought it was a she, but did a closer inspection earlier and I’m leaning towards a he.

Anyway, the good stuff: he is the sweetest, most well behaved kitten I have ever seen. He’s an angel. He spent most of last night sleeping on my chest. I haven’t had such an actively affectionate cat in ages. The two I have now are sweet, but they don’t really cuddle. This little dude does. This little dude is awesome. He follows me around, doesn’t get into things he’s not supposed to, and instantly knew how to use a litter box. If he wasn’t so young, I’d think he was an abandoned indoor cat. But he’s baby. My baby. Still needs a name, though.

The not so good stuff: I DO NOT need another cat! I live in a small apartment with two other adult cats and a small dog. New cats are also expensive! He’s gonna need shots and to get fixed and, to be painfully honest, I really don’t know if I can afford that now. Shit, I’m basically out of (human) food until I can get some cash on friday. It’s rough. I’m really anxious. I love this little guy. I didn’t just pick a random kitten. I’d seen him outside a couple of times and I just… I hated the idea of this way too trusting little guy trying to survive out in the world. He just kept crying out at me and following me. There are other stray cats around, but this one is so small and so sweet and he followed me home and he loves me so much I literally started crying while holding him bc I didn’t want him to ever have to fight just to survive out there. I hate it. I mean, I love him, but it does make me feel kind of sick inside bc I know it’s not exactly a smart decision to take in a stray right now. Life sucks. He’s curled up next to me in bed now and if he wasn’t so tiny and sweet and wonderful, I might be okay not keeping him & letting him stay outside with his friends. I’m glad he’s not a human baby or I’d really be freaking out right now.

Anyway, I’d die for him now so it’s a done deal. My baby now.

[hanaasbananas]

receiving an award from Olympic javelin champion Fatima Whitbread wasn't on my bingo card for 2024 but this year has been weird enough already that this might as well happen

[loving-jack-kelly]

a concept: jack who everyone assumes based on his general demeanor to be the very essence of "he a little confused but he got the spirit" until something finally pushes him to the breaking point and he's revealing a lot of deeply introspective and profound about his personal philosophies and the way he thinks life should go but before they can react he's back to being like also I think all peanut butter should be safe for dogs. what's up with that.

[ex-foster]

[featherymainffins]

I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.

[ricketycr1cks]

I could write chapters about how much the gang finds a dumpster baby says about Macs childhood

[marsixm]

neuroses ruining yr life is a real missing the forest for the trees type beat but man im trying to see

[marcelwasp]

A little something different but I think I wanna talk about this

I don't normally talk about my experiences in Foster care as alot of the stuff I either don't feel comfortable talking about or physical cannot remember enough details to talk about but this is a bit of an exception

So when I was younger I was hyper obsessed with pokemon (I still am but that's not important right now) and I was about 8 or 9, in I think my second Foster home and wasnt diagnosed with autism at the time

But yes I was really into pokemon and would watch a ton of the anime and play the one game I had, white 2 any time I was allowed the ds because they were one of those "only 1 hour of video games a day" type foster carers

But one day my Foster carers stopped me from watching playing or buying anything pokemon related for like 2 years and continuously compared my pokemon hyper obsession to things like drug addiction

Which when I look back on it is fucking insane

How do you genuinely compare a pre teen child's hyper obsession to an addiction of any kind I was literally 9

[razzek]

Man. My dudes. I used to think I knew what sleep problems were, what with having two sleep disorders and all, but jeebus. I miss those days. I'm so sleep deprived even I can see the shadows under my eyes in the mirror. Fell asleep for maybe an hour earlier, after hours of nodding off but not quite sleeping, only to startle awake into a panic attack for no reason except that hot flashes fuck with your brain. Did you know you can have depression nightmares? I didn't, but oh my god I would like to switch back to the pants shitting terror ones please.

Anyway I'm really fucking tired. Think I'm going to see about meeting with the sleep specialist again to see if there's anything to be done about all this. I don't think I'll survive four or five years like this if the past month of increasingly bad sleep is an ongoing trend.