#im actually… likeable… shocking i knlw
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neuroses ruining yr life is a real missing the forest for the trees type beat but man im trying to see
#like i have to stop myself and realize#the reason why im so paranoid and upset worrying if people like me or enjoy being my friend or even are my friends#is bc i feel annoying and like ppl only placate me#but constantly fixating on that instead of like idk just fostering a normal relationship based on shared experiences and getting along#is kinda shooting me in the foor#*foot#and i KNOW this! but i still do it! bc every time something happens i convince myself its something new#when all it is is me reading into peoples emotions too much#bc im scared and preempting the strike#but its silly#like the main person my ocd is worried abt if theyre my friend or not#just the other day this person looked at me like the camera on the office when some bs was happening#like thats bestie shit#like bitch i made it i made a friend#i need to calm down#im actually… likeable… shocking i knlw#most people find me funny and charming#unfortunately getting comfortable around people means letting the neuroses out#even if i dont want to#its ironic bc it means i only fuck over the relationships i care about!#well anyway. this is another daily reminder to myself to calm down bc its gonna be okay
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