#Fear of loss

[dreams-incorporated]

I don't want this to happen again

[seasofjupiterx]

I saw it coming but at the same time I didn't because I didn't believe the world could possibly be that fucking cruel.

[fucked-up-brain]

I have found people in my life that I never want to lose again. But so often it feels like I could lose them at any second. It tears me apart.

[insummerigrieve]

my love is only as noble as my fear of loss

[sweetsweetperil]

Is reality more beautiful than it truly seems,

Or do my rose colored glasses make it all seem heavenly?

I fall in love with the wind, the trees, the flowers, the bees,

I fall in love with men and fall out just as easily,

For, for better or worse I see,

The beauty in everything,

Knowing very well,

There lies an ugly truth beneath

[rain-rainynights]

what if my hopes were lies i was telling myself? what if i lose what i love so deeply to a few simple words? what if the love doesn't persist? what if… what if love fails me?

[bendy-the-dancing-demon]

Why am I paranoid I just went to a traumatic situation where I was r worded but I attacked him poke his eyes kick the ribs and kick his groin to escape and call my friend to help me then call the police to arrest him for it and now I'm paranoid scared traumatized confused fearful and I really need my bestfriend so I can calm down and the support I TRIED MY BEST TO DEFEND MYSELF AND GET HELP BUT DO I FEEL UNLOVED UNSUPPORTED ALONE AND FEEL GUILTY SOMETHING NOT MY FAULT I JUST WANT MY FRIENDS IM CRIPPING

[autumn-tide]

Would it be all right? Would it be all right to go ahead and feel? Go ahead and count on something?

Toni Morrison, Beloved

[yourundead]

slowly going threw more house studies. woke up from a nightmare and had to paint it. took me about an hour.

[colection-of-chaos]

Whumptober 2024 Day 26: Breakfast Table

TW: major depressive episode, spiraling, self h@rm, self neglect,

Why didn’t you tell anyone?

It took until the next morning when he came down to the breakfast table for someone to ask. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” He has a few answers for that question, non are going to save him a conversation full of worry.

He hadn’t been able to get out of bed for over two weeks. No, that wasn’t quite right, he got up to go to the toilet and to eat every other day. But not much else, his hygiene was more than lacking, and he had felt like he was droning on the air around him as if it was water. He should have gotten help.

No matter how good he was at denying his state of mind, the fact that it wasn’t normal to been in distress all the time, to be exhausted to such an existential level that he wasn’t even able to want anything, beyond the pain just becoming more bearable This wasn’t something he could ignore any longer.

He didn’t ask, though, didn’t call someone to come and at least bring him some groceries. He certainly didn’t tell anyone, how much he suffered. 

This hadn’t been about him. What if he just was dramatic? He was probably able to move he had just not enough will to, that was his shortcoming. 

What should he say? 

It wasn’t like it actually warranted anything more, than him getting his shit together and finally move. 

It was all his fault. He didn’t need help, he would get himself out of it by himself. He just needed to rest a little bit more, he just needed to get though the next choking hour, and the one after that.

It hadn’t been anything to bother someone else with. 

He didn’t want to trouble others.

What if they thought of it as much of a problem, as it was? 

What if they saw him in this state, and only were disgusted? 

What if they didn’t want to have to deal with his problems?

What if they left? If they decided he wasn’t worth having in their lives? 

What if they would look down on him for his weakness?

What then? 

What would he do?

He needed other people. People he could call and act as if everything was fine with, so he could continue telling himself that it actually was.

People that he could talk with, about everything except his problems, so that, just for a movement, he felt freed. 

People that at last acted like they liked him, so he could act like there was something to like about him.

He didn’t want to lose that.

So he hadn’t called, hadn’t tolled them how bad it actually was, sometimes even pretended he was just ill.

He had done so until yesterday, when a handful of them showed up on his door step, saw him like he was and didn’t leave, didn’t let him pretend he was fine.

They noticed he wasn’t, and they forced him to let them help.

Got him to pack some things and move to one of them, just for a while, utill he was more stable, until he was able to take care of himself again, enough for them to let him go back without having to worry.

So he had. He had given in to their demands, parts relive, that someone did help him, that some people actually cared, parts terrified, that they knew, that soon he would be nothing but a liability, that this help would be short-lived.

They had let him go back to bed, this time in the guest room of one of them, for the day. 

This morning tough, one of them had woken him up, talked him into getting up, taking a shower hand come to eat breakfast, with the promise to leave him alone after, at least for a while.

So now he was here, sitting at the breakfast table, with no idea how to answer the question he had just been asked.

He couldn’t tell them the truth, they would be insulated, or maybe tell him that he was wrong. And he couldn’t stand hearing that from someone else, he told him self that often enough over the past weeks. 

He just couldn’t.

[starwarsgrl77]

I was always afraid to live without you. Now, I have to.

[moonlight-mindfulness]

Really pissed at how little resources are out there about the fear of loss and existential ocd. So many issues trace back to those two if you do a deep dive on anxiety.

[sweetsweetperil]

Punishment that goes unnoticed

For things I have not asked upon myself,

For lies and little spiders crawling into my chest

For the eggs they lay, in the cavity of my breast,

For the hate that you gave and the love you confessed

For the pain that you stake, a knife cutting through breath,

And all the words that you said, curses to bring me death

No one can see it, but oh how I can feel it

Burning inside of me,

Tell me how I rid myself all the punishment

That was never meant for me,

Tell me how I rid myself

Of his dna that lives on within me

[bullshitpoetry]

Just because I can name the fear doesn't mean it will disappear.

[king-starscreams-fics]

Transformers - All Media Types - King-Starscream (EMS_Writer) - Aftermath [Archive of Our Own]

The story of what took place after the sparkeater was slain in Dark Nights and Green Eyes:

Optimus approached Megatron's side as they reached the barn from opposite directions. He stared down at the charred and still-smoking remains of the creature in front of the building. Then he turned his stare on its slayer.

"I thought these things were a myth."

Megatron shivered. "Any gladiator would tell you otherwise."

"You have seen more horrors than I had realised, old friend."

Language: English

Words: 3,072

Chapters: 1

[bendy-the-dancing-demon]

Why do I always have separation anxiety and paranoia fear and abandonment issues towards my actual good friends I love them but the bad friends damaged me and my mind I always panicking when friends don't answer in 1 or 2 more days I get scared of negative emotions friends have towards me even though they don't have those feelings to me toxic friends I had in the past and past relationship romance and past discord or Twitter friends damaged me so much I'm scared of losing my real friends so much I cry panicking