#negative hyperfixation
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Really pissed at how little resources are out there about the fear of loss and existential ocd. So many issues trace back to those two if you do a deep dive on anxiety.
#fear of loss#existential ocd#fear of abandonment#fear of death#negative hyperfixation#anticipatory grief#all connected to each other#mental health#depression#anxiety#adhd
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who up grieving their faded hyperfixations because there is unfortunately nothing that makes you enjoy living more than being hyperfixated on a good piece of media and now it’s just gone.
#i know people use the term hyperfixation loosely and i do the same sometimes#but when i say stranger things consumed my entire life for over a year#i am not exaggerating#i couldn’t have a fucking conversation unless it was about st#i could not control my infodumping#didn’t listen to music unless i could relate it to a character#cared about this show more than about my real life#and in many ways that’s unhealthy and had negative effects on my life and relationships#but there is also nothing else like that feeling#and now it’s just gone#and i have to wait for the next one
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Okay but if I get another “reasons why st5 will fail/reasons why I’m not watching st5” recommendation/TikTok/POST OF ANY KIND….. IM GONNA GO INSANE
Like, good for you ig 🤷🏼♀️ I couldn’t care less if you’re not watching tbh, and I respect your opinions/decisions… but don’t try to make others feel bad about still wanting to watch it. We are all humans and are all capable of making our own decisions thank you!
#sorry for the rant#and sorry if this comes off really aggressive#I just#I saw a tt tryna convince people not to watch#and got fed up#stranger things#stranger things 5#byler#<— target audience#pls I’m not tryna be mean#but I can make my own decisions#I don’t need all this negativity rn either#like I want to enjoy my hyperfixations ty#sorry y’all I’m so mad#I’ll stop yapping now#Jay's saying stuff :)#Jay's talking ST <3
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new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:
big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons
splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder
wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.
leo and donnie have eating disorders--
#this is a Joke but also No It's Not#it's just different flavors lmao#but both of them have absolutely fucked relationships with food#my poor babies... :(... who did this to you...?#(it was me i did)#leo spends a lot of time worrying about whAT hes eating and how mUCH hes eating and if hes eating the rIGHT thing#largely due to his mom and also just being a celebrity/child celebrity in general#but also in part due to:#donnie has a lot of food sensitivities which have really never been accommodated for at all and as a result he just#has a very negative association with food and eating. he doesnt LIKE eating and he avoids it a majority of the time.#its stressful and unpleasant and he doesnt like it#which ofc only gave leo another reason to hyperfixate on food and calories and nutritional value etc etc etc#which leads to#ironically#leo (who def has an undiagnosed ed and restricts/denies himself food regularly): worrying abt making sure donnie eats enough#donnie will do the same thing back sometimes but not with the same obsessiveness that leo does#esp because the ideals surrounding eating and dieting set up around them really kind of just#lead them both to believe (at least to an extent) that leo is fine and eats a totally healthy and ok amount of food (esp in comparison to d#(no he doesnt)(and even when he does thats not the point)#tw eating disorders#cw eating disorders#eating disorders#tw disorders eating#cw disordered eating#disordered eating#gemini au asks#asks#anon
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Kinda feeling like drawing bakudeku again…..
#i stopped because I got so many negative comments#and also my hyperfixation kinda changed so#but i miss them#also togachako
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dude i finally figured out how to draw him im so happy i love him so much
#artluli#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#i struggle a lot with faces and adding noses and wrinkles etc etc like im so proud and happy with myself that i finally drew him#and dont hate how i did it lul#i really wanna learn how to draw all the mercs and their faces and shapes all properly#i wanna get good at drawing !!!!#i wanna try and use my current hyperfixation to improve at it >:]]]]#i wanna draw them all and smile a bunch and be happy and feel joy and everything#im usually very negative when it comes to my art but drawing him just really made me smile#im glad i got to do him justice and want to continue to do so <:]#ill stop rambling but yeah genuinely somehow this of all things has really made me smile
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some school notebook dorys from about a month ago probably.. the first two are for the fanfic “john dory’s quick and concise guide on how to survive” by rytheoneandonly on ao3. GO READ IT. and expect more fanart for this.
#the last one can fit into the fanfic even if its not intentional…#MY FAVORITE TEENAGE MOTHER!!!!#makes me think abt that eldest daughter john dory fanart i reblogged#hruehhehje#ths fanfic is so crazy good its makes ME CRAZY!!!#be calm . anyway there’ll be more#trust!!#john dory#trolls john dory#trolls#dw trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#the last one is him writing da lyrics or whatever.. girl baby baby woman#ths is what i do instead of focusing during class#hyperfixation so bad it negatively impacts my grades#idrudis
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when the hyperfixation is overwhelming but you lack any sort of artistic ability to put your immense feelings into words, art, edits, etc - regardless how much you try you have so little motivation and every time it's never how you envisioned so it stays stuck in your head and it's not enough and you slowly start to go insane
#im going insane#like im so obsessed and overwhelmed with them but /neg#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targeryan#alicent x rhaenyra#alicent hightower x rhaenyra targaryen#autism moment#hyperfixation#im about to hyper fixate myself into oncoming traffic
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inanimate insanity but only when mephone4 is onscreen/talking.
it is finished :)c
i still gotta do the thumbnail and stuff though so it'll be uploaded in the morning (expect it around 12 hrs from now?)
#never doing this again#unless maybe its more mephone4 stuff#like i am gonna update it after the finale so#hyperfocusing on a project of my hyperfixation had only negative effects on my health. who knew!#ok really though uhm give it a watch when its up or dont idk#inanimate insanity#ii#mephone4 ii#mephone4 inanimate insanity#osc#object show
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looks around. hey cj commmunityu is there liek a certain reason why ppl are drawing heart in a suit & mint in a dress. like im not complaining but is there any actua;l reason to it or are we just doing do cause we can. cause no w i want 2 draw h&m in a suit & in a dress
#ive seen l#.ike 2 or 3 posts recently idk if thats. is there smth going on imgenuinely curios#also yea i am going to probably draw it. unless my bfb/tpot or toonhlvrai hyperfixation stop me before i can#soz#yeag ...#chonny jash#also me pointing this out isnt a negative thing i love the art keep it up#uuhuhuhuhuhuhhhhh thats it bye#— 🌗
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“ADA Dazai” this, “PM Dazai” that
Shut up
We are never gonna see Bar Lupin Dazai again😔
#osamu dazai#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bar lupin#buraiha trio#“isn’t that the same as mafia dazai” NO it’s not it’s the one time he was happy and genuinely himself#bring him back to me#technically this isn’t true asagiri could show us more flashbacks but shhhhh#oda sakunosuke#ango sakaguchi#i’ve realized i’m way too negative on this blog with the complaining and ranting#and the reason i started making fan accounts in the first place was to spread positivity#complaining drags my mood down so i’m gonna try to focus more on the things i enjoy instead#so if you see an increase in my dazaiposting that’s why#my bsd hyperfixation may be gone but few fandom things bring me as much joy as dazai so here we are
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something so special about hyperfixations that aren't brand new like ah this feels very comforting. i remember this exact feeling from five years ago and so much changed but not everything did
#sorry to be emotional abt dc. it will happen again#that being said i get a similar feeling everytime i re-hyperfixate on poi its just a bit more complicated#bc of the negative feelings regarding s5 lmao
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jyst got so overly excited while watching a video about my hyperfixation that i had to pause it and pace violently around the room muttering to myself for an entire hour straight. im so normal abt this
#my brain when not engaging w the hyperfixation: - (negative) 100000 dopamine#my brain the second i engage w the hyperfixation: floods me with every SINGLE last drop of dopamine in my body to the point i cannot#physically contain it#ive not even come down yet. i am JITTERING
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thinking about a Danny Phantom and Unbeatable Squirrel Girl crossover
going with middle grade novels Doreen they’re both 14 and just learning about the extent of their powers. They both have super hacker best friends and I just think the friend groups would work really well together.
OR going with USG comics Doreen and post AGIT Danny you got a 15-16 yr old space nerd who’s fought and sorta rehabilitated an evil version of himself meeting a college student computer science nerd who did the same thing
#idk man I just feel like either way they’d get along great#they hyperfixations are hyperfixating#also the negative zone where Allene is?#possibly another name for the ghost zone?#the realms are infinite so who can really know#danny phantom#dp#danny fenton#doreen green#the unbeatable squirrel girl#squirrel girl#marvel comics
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I think I need to be shot
#new hyperfixation /neg#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#jack kline#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#adrien agreste#cat noir#character chart#🙁🙁🙁#I hate this show but. silly little guy.
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RAHHHHH
#dr stone#asagiri gen#gen asagiri#gen dr stone#the mentalist#URRGHHH I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(←voice of someone who has a needlessly complicated relationship with a fictional character)#I'm not even hyperfixated on dr.stone rn just this mfer#my girl rn is gravity falls!#BUT URRGHHH. . . THE MENTALIST/POSITIVE /NEGATIVE /CHEWING ON HIM
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