#Family Matters Part 2
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Cisco/Miguel + shocked, but into it.
#The Flash#Up Here#Cisco Ramon#Miguel Jimenez#Carlos Valdes#Kamisco#what's really funny here is that out of the two couples Lindsay and Miguel were the ones who got a room#and Cisco and Kamilla were the ones who just started making out in front of God and everyone#gifs by lace#Family Matters Part 2#1x01 Lindsay
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Cale: Let's pretend to be the followers of the God of Chaos, I'll play his Saint Me: Cale... knowing your track record, he's gonna offer you to become his Saint for realzies
(I know GoC is a villain but, uh, that sure didn't stop the Sealed God 🤣)
#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of count's family#tcf humor#tcf meme#tcf part 2#tcf predictions#tcf spoilers#tcf god of chaos#everybody wants cale as their successor#trust me it's only a matter of time
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when toshiro got on laios ass for being inconsiderate and never thinking about how his actions affect others like he was mean abt it but hes not wrong. Thats a pretty major character flaw and a pattern of behavior for laios — w not choosing jobs that made money for namari who is in a pretty dire financial situation where she cant even get off the island and has to go adventuring in the dungeon to get out of debt, who even explicitly brought this up, eating marcilles familiar immediately even tho she was attached to it, kidnapping shuro into his party and putting him in life threatening situations without like really checking he wanted to be there…?, wanting to see if izutsumi has more than one set of nipples when dehumanization is a HUGE huge issue for her the list goes on and on and on. Like when a friend does this to you its just kinda annoying but when ur the leader u really should be checking if everyones needs r met without them telling u. Like the autism plays a factor for sure, his cultural upbringing plays a factor for sure, but as ppl regardless I think u gotta step up to meet the needs of ppl in the moment or realize u shouldnt be calling the shots. just bc its influenced by factors out of ur control does not make it not a serious character flaw. And its written as such in the story.
#It makes him an interesting character w nuance and i like him for it#its a pretty big flaw dungeon meshi hits over ur head several times#And part of his character arc to grow as a leader who can communicate and take other ppls needs into consideration effectively so he can#be an effective king (an ending im still like kinda confused abt like i get its thematically full circle moment and a love#letter to the genre but like WHAT)#Granted ppl in glass houses shouldnt throw stones since shuros also a poor leader (worse than laios)#to the point that i think its a stretch to say it wasnt maizuru leading that party like “shuros party” i mean he sure was in their proximit#but his opinion does actually matter to laios and gets him to listen so ig it had to be said 😔#dungeon meshi spoilers#Laios touden#But like it was not the first time this was brought up to him… cmon man#Toshiro is a sheltered rich kid with no conflict resolution skills who at least was kept materially comfortable his entire life#tho on the other fronts… genuinely he wouldve been happier if he wasnt born into that family#and when hes angry his actions become vicious and targeted to a shocking degree#but his assessment of situations tend to be accurate to a degree thats surprising for a person from another culture thats only been there#For 2 yrs#toshiro nakamoto#in da tags i suppose#Shuro
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I think people likely do suspect Meredith might be a little 💅 you know?
Obviously some followers of the Chantry take up vows of chastity, though from what I've been reading, while templars aren't required to take said vows, they do require special permission to marry as they may be required to move to other Circles or to do the Chantry's bidding elsewhere. As it were, if a spouse can provide their own support (e.g., owning land, having a role in another organization like the City Guard [I think of Aveline and Wesley, as he was apparently a former templar]), then permission is granted. This process likely deters most templars from formally marrying, or even maintaining long-term relationships.
That said, it's evident that templars in Kirkwall frequent the Blooming Rose often enough that Meredith eventually orders a raid of the place to find out which of her knights have been paying for sex and 'ruining' the reputation of the Order and its Knight-Commander. Obviously this demonstrates that templars seek and pay for sex without commitment nor worry about an actual relationship.
But, I am also certain that templars do have relationships beyond the Order - and perhaps, also, within it, though this is obviously discouraged and likely to earn reprimand for engaging in activities that could be seen as distracting from their duties (and creating a conflict of interest / tension among the ranks).
Now, with that context in mind, let's get back to Meredith.
Of course, already in Act 1 people are terrified of Meredith, and those who serve her do not want to break rules or cross her. She too wouldn't have any interest in being involved with someone serving under her, though I'm sure there are speculations about her interests. After all, we know from World of Thedas vol 2 that, when she stormed the brothel, she came across a very naked, very erect Jethann and politely and quietly excused herself. I'm sure Jethann has talked about this incident and rumours have spread; either the Knight-Commander is indeed, just a paragon of her faith and upholding a strict vow of chastity, or she isn't interested in men. While not a common assertion, someone, somewhere has probably drunkenly theorized about it. Like all the other rumours about Meredith, I think this one would certainly be among them.
Additionally, and this is in the game itself, but if Hawke is male and 'flirtatiously' compliments Meredith, she shuts him down by saying "I do not wear this armour for how it looks" and all but rolls her eyes at him. If Hawke is female, she simply says nothing (again, likely that they forgot to record a line / chose not to), but sometimes actions speak louder than words!
Now, in my own personal headcanon, I believe that as a Knight-Templar, Meredith had to deal with her templar brothers finding her attractive and desiring her in that way, which in response, she had to assert over and over, her utter disinterest in them. Most of these boys and young men thought they were rejected because Meredith was so focused on her studies, but others really found it hard to believe she would reject them. Obviously, this started the rumour mill about Meredith, both among her own cohort and beyond; after all, she was already a contentious initiate, since she already had an 'in' to doing well in the Order ahead of her peers because she was Knight-Captain Kell's unofficial adoptive daughter. Her blatant rejections towards her fellow knights' advances only added to that, with speculations ranging from the fact she already had a secret lover outside of the Gallows, to the fact she simply preferred the company of the fairer sex.
While it was true that Meredith was intensely focused on her duties and becoming the best Templar she could be, she was well aware of her romantic interest and sexual attraction toward other women early on (likely around age 16-17). I think as a ward of the Chantry that Meredith likely developed some close, possibly homoerotic friendships with other girls who grew up alongside one another, but obviously as Meredith became a templar initiate and stayed in the barracks of the Gallows, some connections may have been lost over time.
As an adult and new Knight-Templar, I believe Meredith - young, tall, and handsome - did have numerous illicit affairs with Chantry Sisters over the years, including when she became Knight-Captain, but stopping when she became Knight-Commander. As I've discussed, Meredith is hypersexual and this affects her relationships, but during this time, because of her duties, she is never able to form a long-term romantic relationship, preferring short-lived and secretive sexual relations, hidden by the cover of nightfall and the shadows in the darkest corners of the Chantry. While she has always been hypervigilant about, well, just about everything (due to her PTSD), there have always been wandering eyes and listening ears that notice such things.
In the timeline of Kirkwall, as mentioned above, I don't think such a rumour would become known by Meredith as most people are frightened of her and wouldn't dare mention it, but I do think the templars who have known her since the beginning, and those who have perhaps seen or heard a little too much, might know about where her preferences lie. In Thedas, for the most part, it would seem that having same-sex attraction is not seen as inherently bad or evil, though according to Brother Gentivi, in some places it is considered a quirk of character or sometimes scandal if done indiscreetly , or it can be accepted provided a noble still contribute to procreation and reproducing heirs for bloodlines.
In this case, given Meredith's position as Knight-Commander, and the other actions (or inaction) she takes regarding the templar-mage conflict and ruling the city, people knowing her sexuality is truly just another piece of gossip shared over ale in Lowtown, though one that may invoke further judgement by some.
#HEADCANON.#The Rumor Come Out: Does Meredith Stannard is Gay?#[ anyway not to say that there's rampant homophobia but I do think people would speculate ]#[ and as much as Meredith thinks she keeps her personal life as private as possible ]#[ there are signs and people pay attention ]#[ anyway i've been writing this for like an hour bc it started off silly but I made it serious ]#[ but yeah it doesn't matter but i do think it's just a part of all the rumours about what she's up to ]#[ and i don't think the women she's been w would say much either bc it would also affect their lives as Chantry Sisters too ]#[ sorry it's the sociologist in me and thinking about the dynamic of what it would be like to be an (evil) lesbian in a position of power ]#[ and obviously she'd never be able to get married in her canon ]#[ 1) bc of her duties to the chantry taking priority and 2) being so in the public eye would make it a huge spectacle ]#[ and that would just not be as feasible because it appears marriage in the DA world is for the purposes of procreation/connecting families#[ and i think also w meredith being the last Stannard alive in Kirkwall that ppl would expect her to eventually want to have a child but ]#[ obviously as the years go on that one dies down p quick ]#[ not me writing another essay in the tags sdjfhjsdf ]
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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I'm sure other queer people will relate, but I always get apprehensive around The Talk (as in, non-queer people talking about queerness in the abstract), and that's the topic my shul decided to land on today during lunch. And I feel so fortunate to have found them first because they were talking about a previous member and how they want him to visit and they want his boyfriend to visit so they can all scramble to feed and welcome him. I'm imagining a hoard of people just shoveling food at this member and his boyfriend if (and hopefully when) they decide to visit 😭
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#shul shenanigans#personal thoughts tag#no matter who it is talking about queerness i always hold my breath and i'm sure it's obvious why#my previous church wasn't homophobic really at all which i feel fortunate for but i WAS exposed to the sect of homophobic xtianity a lot#and i know jewish thought about queerness is: 1. not monolithic and 2. not the same as xtianity#but i feel beyond grateful that g-d has given me the chance to find this shul. it's literally everything i've dreamt of in a shul#literally the ONLY issue is that we are so small as to have problems with budget#i need to remember to withdraw some money to donate... i always forget#i also feel grateful because i'm a heavily pierced person and i always forget that i look VERY alt to 'normal' people#i've been slowly realizing that maybe the entire world doesn't see me as normal the way i do#because to me i do NOT look alt whatsoever. but having more than like two facial piercings (i have Way more) is very not normal apparently#i think that's partially why one of the families at my shul seemed... apprehensive about me? which was funny because...#...i don't notice i'm a pierced person anymore. to me my piercings are literally another body part#and also one of the members said he's totally fine with the Queer Thing seeing as his son is trans and he's gotten used to it#girl (not specific to gender) that's a bombshell to drop 😭
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Guys it's okay for an ending to be sad.
#Loki#(more nuanced conversation in the notes)#loki season 2#loki spoilers#I really don't wanna talk about this#But like just because something is melancholic#Doesn't mean it can't be beautiful#And if you're upset about your ship#That's not the story they were telling#It was about Loki's growth as a person#It doesn't matter if his feelings towards Mobius#Or Sylvie were romantic/sexual/platonic/familial#What mattered was that he cared#That he loves them#All of them#I'm not saying don't ship things#Make all of it! enjoy all of it!#That's the best part of fan works#You get to have your cake and eat it to!
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Part 2 of Yuichi's older brother and his partners(?)
Part 1, Bonus
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thinking,,, would star pirates have star shanties ???? i think they'd probably be made by banging together anything on their ship (weapons, old machinery, etc etc), playing any instruments on hand, and just singing about literally anything ,,
#i want to explore star pirate culture more because theyre such a big part of the world#like piracy is so widespread that they dont really give a damn anymore#not 2 mention in the world of uktimate excalibur any unauthorised ship that doesnt belong to a naval company (or any company for that matter#is considered a pirate ship. a lot of quote un quote pirates dont actually pirate but a lot of them do !#i already mentioned a while ago in the notes of a reblog that many pirates grow up on ships and never see any actual planets#i like to think that shear has never left his ship for longer than a month...#whole generations of families living and dying while travelling the whole galaxy#oc rambling#ultimate x-calibur
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柄本 佑 || 「光る君へ」 (2024) · 第三十八回 「まぶしき闇」
#柄本佑#tasuku emoto#光る君へ#hikaru kimi e#1x38#made by me#fujiwara no michinaga#藤原道長#this ep's so good idek where to begin with#okay kaneie it is#I feel like part of michinaga still consciously does not want to admit he's doing everything kaneie's way#but it's the other part that scares me#he's thinking bigger than kaneie (in a bad way) bc he's already too deep in the darkness#and he's automatically justifying his greed by using all kinds of excuses#either his daughter. or for the country. it's good for ichijo. it's good for korechika. it's good for mahiro's daughter. it's good for you#deeply he knew he didnt believe it himself but that's what dairi life does to a man in that position#half the episode I'm mahiro watching him from the other side of the corridor. thinking 'who da hell is that???'#the only 2 scenes we got to breathe a little from the pressure of his darkness#is the night talk with tomoko and the mahiro scene#thank you Oishi sensei for giving us a break and reminding us that saburo did not fully die#speaking of mahiro I'm sorry but kikyo sucks#I find it funny that these two women are strong and independent and everything and I think Oishi sensei did a good job writing both#but it gets me every time that Kikyo is so dedicated of being a slave of sadako's#mahiro too I mean she was tricked by michinaga and she needs to provide the family yes.#but she initially thought she's writing this to serve a royal member#it became self-catharsis later but the motive is -#idk she used to teach farmer kids to read & write and care about normal people during some natural disasters#she never believed in hierarchy but ended up serving one of the highest royal families#k enough whining. lastly can I say that I'm just glad that no matter how dark michinaga gets#there's always a yukinari promising to investigate the horror curses & insisting capital sentence on people who are mean to michinaga
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obsessed with the names in da2. carver's namesake is a man who granted his father freedom despite being the one who should have jailed him. other disciples came up with anders' name because he kept the one he had away from circle and templars and it is how it's been since then. fenris' name comes from his former master but he reclaimed it because he doesn't run away anymore. isabela adopted the name given her by a man who never took her seriously and then she became a captain isabela after she killed him. hawke is hawke because it's the way people refer to them and they're defined by people. all of their names. they tell a story
#carver became a warrior and watched over his mage siblings beliveing he's never been good enough and he had no idea who maurevar carver was#anders got everything taken away from him by the templars but they never found out what was his name. neither did anyone else#fenris left behind another name and a family and a whole life. but does it matter anymore. is it worth taking it back#isabela was just a joke for her first captain. but who's laughing at the queen of the eastern seas#hawke is a symbol of the people and for the people. names and titles do not matter. they're hawke and that is enough#replaying da2 and having a lot of Thoughts#gonna dissect every little part of this game#dragon age#dragon age 2
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I think it is genuinely really funny that of all the Lance's from my different aus, the most chill one out of all of them is the one who got violently murdered and came back as an unperceivable eldritch horror whose first act after coming back was vengence on the guy who killed him and then steal his house.
#Not to say he doesnt have issues. For one he isnt remembered by anyone and is so utterly alone#And two everyone who he interacts with him sees a distorted version of themselves rather than him#(Which would be fun considering both Shiro and Allura aka the only two who cld remember him keep rejecting parts of themselves)#But yeah compared to the others? schrodeinger reality!Lance is just less on fire garbage can#Ps8!Lance literally landed himself in a coma and communing with horrors because he rather try necromancy and isolation over therapy#c&ai!Lance depressed ass literally got bullied into found family by a spunky teenager and an aimless clone#And would literally rather chew glass than accept that#1) he is depressed and misses his family and friends 2) he was wrong for leaving like that and is sorry#There's another Lance who is trying to kill a god like being and fights voltron the robot who has gained sentience#(This au is still in workshop but yeah)#Compared to all of That Sr!Lance is doing marginally better emotional state wise#And honestly? Good for him!!!#schrodeinger reality au#schrodeinger reality posting#post s8 au#post s8 posting#cowboys and abandonment issues au#cowboys and abandonment issues posting#This post would make sense to my one beloved mutual only and really that is what truly matters#empty thoughts#lance serrano#lance mcclain
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I appreciate how Parker and Hardison help defend Eliot when Sophie tries to apologize.
They had each other's back from the beginning. It also tells me that Parker, Hardison, and Eliot were getting use to being part of a team- being part of a family.
And Sophie took that from them.
#leverage#eliot spencer#parker#alec hardison#sophie devereaux#the second david job part 2#they stood up for each other#that matters to them#it matters too me#they were getting use to being part of a team- part of the family#they had each other's back from the beginning#christian kane#gina bellman#beth reisgraf#aldis hodge
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So yk how Taika, Rhys and Con are Zionists? I think we all know by now. (People supporting them anyway I fucking see you)
It gets worse. Remember how they killed Ivan off screen and kinda just erased him? Turns out it's because they fired the actor, Guz Khan, over his support of Palestine last year. Last year. None of this is new, but I'm glad we're finally waking up to it
#our flag means death#ofmd#fuck that show and everyone who works on it or still watches it#its fucking disgusting#you are disgusting#your faves are actively supporting the slaughter of children and you're pushing it aside bc teehee cute gay pirate found family?#nah fuck you#and dont talk to me abt that show being a big part of your life or it helping you or whatever the fuck#if you knew me even 2 months ago i was a RABID fan and had been since it first aired#none of that fucking matters now#how do you sleep at night#next person who puts anything about thst show on my feed is getting blocked#taika waititi#rhys darby#con o'neill#<- genocidal cunts#IT ISNT WORTH IT!!! NO SHOW NO MATTER HOW BELOVED IS WORTH IT!!!!
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lmaooooo i think i need to quit teaching forever and also bury myself in a hole. lol
#purrs#grading papers on a sunday and the WAYYYYY this one students paper just hurt my feelings so fucking bad. i mean it’s not just hers but like.#god. it’s the most childish thing in the world (which makes sense / is the literal problem. that i am a child.) but im coteaching this class#(WHICH I TOOK and my co-instructors were MY instructors and now im replacing one of them who’s also the one who left in july lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍) and#ive had WICKED impostor syndrome bc… not to air it all out but im airing it all out bc im so mad lol. they’re both older men with phds and w#wives and families and im a 24 year old in the first year of her career with a bachelors degree who stilllives at home w her parents and#also the two of them and the third instructor literaly developed this class together and again i TOOK IT as a student in their class 2 years#ago. so again… WICKED impostor syndrome. and the class is all abt figuring out how to thrive in different contexts that are constrained by s#social norms so it’s relevant to talk abt impostor syndrome and i have talked about it. and also i get substantial parts to lead in the#classes and whatever and take attendance and grade papers and send out emails to the whole class etc etc. so WHY are the other two#instructors getting shoutouts in the papers and i am getting… NOTHING!!!! naught a SINGLE mention. when i am literally fucking LIVING#THROUGH the things we’re taking abt in class abt the first year of ur career and impostor syndrome and shit……. oh iknow why! because they#don’t actually see me as an instructor because im short and a nothing girl and an IMPOSTOR!!!!! LOLLLLL 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and the book chapter was the#same too lol like im the only co-author who doesn’t actually get individually named as making a contribution in the text of it and nobody#noticed but me because it’s a stupid thing to notice but i still noticed. awesome. i love being invisible and not actually mattering ♥️ <#<- has the mental illness that makes you utterly unable to see evidence of how you actually do matter and only hyperfocus on the evidence th#that you don’t <- but also is trapped in the psychijc prison of some parts of her environment telling her she does matter and other parts t#telling her she doesn’t so can you blame her for going CRAZY!!!!!!!!! like is this literally not the normal well adjusted reaction to have#to GENUINELY LEGITIMATELY JUSTIFIABLY upsetting thigns. when the circumstances are fucked up and deleterious 😍😍😍😍😍😍#delete later#oh also im apparently not even an official instructor in Da System (which is a problem and it is not supposed to be that way) so i won’t#even get to read abt how the students fucking forgot about me and think im a nothing girl because they won’t even have a chance to give me#that feedback!!! lol. i think * and * should just do everything together because they are both qualified to do it. and i should spin off#into the abyss and quit my job and never be heard from again. that’s how this shit makes me feel. like ik it’s just a couple of students and#their opinions literally don’t matter but im like hm how about i go fuck off then since clearly i don’t make a difference to you. lole <3#* i won’t get that feedback etc etc bc i am not going to get course evals because im not in Da System. lol ♥️
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I started watching Suits today and have been playing the sims nonstop and have been reading nothing but fanfiction about gay firefighters and articles about how the CIA started a domino effect that created al qaeda and the taliban so yes I’m doing super well mentally
#I’m honestly like doing okay in a lot of aspects like I feel like I’m taking steps towards having a life I enjoy#but taking small steps over a long period of time gets so exhausting#and I keep saying ‘I just need to keep going and keep trying to add things into my life that bring me joy and then life will be better’#but it’s taking so fucking long and I’m tired of the ‘just keep going’ part and wanna get to the ‘every waking moment isnt a nightmare’ part#like can that happen now please#and I keep getting too cocky and thinking I’m there and universe does its best to push me down and put me in my place#I have a great day with a new friend at a beautiful location? cool but ur gonna be in such bad pain u can’t stand for at least 3 days after#i go out to eat with my family? sick but ur gonna get nauseous no matter what u eat and ur gonna be so exhausted ur gonna sleep for 2 days#and it’s just never gonna end is it? bc that’s the chronic part of chronic illness#this is the life I’ll be subjected to until the day I die#anyways not even my deep mental anguish can stop me from obsessively reading about the Soviet-Afghan war#and the main guy of suits is such a pathetic babygirl and I’m obsessed with him#and my sims are about to graduate college#and I’ve been writing and I made new friends and was invited to an event with them and am going to a dance party in a week#and I’m trying really hard to remember that things aren’t always awful
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