#But like just because something is melancholic

[starredblood]

FADE INTO YOU

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

synopsis: you live in a small secluded town in jeju where nothing ever happens until a girl with a face made of stone moved in. however, her disillusion about life makes your strange relationship with her complicated—further conflicting each others lives.

wc. 6.2k

warnings: situationship to ???, angst, little bit of fluff and comfort, use of alcohol and cigarettes, brief mentions of sexual intimacy, reader is very melancholic

(masterlist)

Living in a place that people dream of visiting is gloomier than you imagined it would be. Beautiful green scenery, pale blue skies, and waves crashing—it was paradise. The people, they were quieter and much more at peace with life than in the bustling cities back in the mainland. Unlike the corporate driven lifestyle you were surrounded with back in Seoul, it felt like time permanently stopped here in Jeju. You didn’t have to rush anything, especially living in a small tucked away town right beside the seashore.

The problem back in Seoul was that you were dissatisfied with your direction in life. But that ache in your chest still seeped into your new life here in Jeju. So, you think it’s not a location problem—it’s a you problem. There’s something wrong with you.

And you need something to get you going. Like now.

It might’ve been late afternoon by the time you heard several hard knocks coming from your bedroom. You let out irritated groans by the nonstop banging, still not intending to be awake at this hour in the day. To prevent the noise blaring through your eardrums you grab your unused pillow and press it to your face so your head could be sandwiched in between pillows.

But you heard a stern, equally as irritated muffle on the other end. “Hey? Are you awake?” you hear your older sister whine.

Her knocking was relentless and you knew she wasn’t going to stop until you reveal yourself from hibernating in your dark and depressed bedroom. “Coming.” you croak out.

You rub your eyes and lazily place your feet on the ground. It took all of your strength to get off your bed and walk over to your door. Stumbling in the process, you finally reach for the doorknob.

Your sister stood there with her arms crossed and forming a look of disgust at your current state. “Count Orlok, you live in a place with the most beautiful views maybe try opening your curtains.”

She comes inside your room and yanks open the dark curtains. Your eyes squint trying to adjust your irises to the blaring summer sunlight. The light gray sand behind your room made your room shine brighter thanks to the reflection of the sun bouncing off of the sand.

“What do you want? I don’t work today.” you ask her, watching peevishly as she picks up your dirty laundry off the ground—a habit of hers.

“Mom and dad are coming later tonight.” she explains and starts rummaging through your closet.

“You could’ve just sent me this over text instead of barging in here.” you retort, watching as she picked out clothes for you to wear. This is what your sister does, she loves control. And you just let her because you don’t want to move back to your parents.

“I came here because if I sent a text I knew you’d ignore it. You have to get ready now.” she says strictly. She sighs in disappointment when you let out another tired whine and flop on top of your bed. “Seriously are you depressed or something?”

“What? No—would you quit asking that?” you stammer and reach to hug your pillow, nuzzling into it and flutter your eyes closed. “I’m just…bored.”

“Bored?” she scoffs mockingly. “You’re the one that didn’t want to keep living with mom and dad. If you want to go back to by all means go. But if you’re staying then get ready.”

She tosses the clothes she wants you to wear straight to your face. When she storms out your room you began to incant quiet curses at her.

You used to have a great relationship with your family because you did everything they wanted you to do to the tea. It got ruined the moment you decided to navigate your own decisions about how you want to live life. Although you know dropping out of college and living with your sister isn’t the most ideal pathway, it was better than what you dealt with back home. But your parents don’t get it. They didn’t see the constant cries for help, instead they saw the dropping grades.

It didn’t help that your sister replaced you as their new golden child. She is a small business owner in Jeju and owns a house with her fiancée. And you’re staying in the room that is technically meant for their future baby—in the works.

“So, how’s your sister behaving?” your dad asks your sister about you. The only thing you could do was silently roll your eyes and keep eating.

Tonight the dining table was packed—even your sister’s fiancée was here who is known to be a workaholic. And of course, your parents couldn’t help themselves by trying to embarrass you the moment dinner was served.

“All she does is stay in her room.” she replies shaking her head while cutting her steak. “Whenever we want to have a meal all together she just prefers eating in her room.”

“Now, sweetie,” you mom sighs giving you a disapproving look. “why don’t you want to eat with them? It’s the least you could do after taking up one of their rooms.”

“And it’s their future baby’s room.” your dad adds with a mocking laugh.

“It’s fine, sir,” your sister’s fiancée claims calmly. “we aren’t in a rush to kick anyone out.”

You don’t wish to acknowledge them and continue to play with your food. There was a time where they used to praise you for your intelligence and grit. But ever since you gave up, you’ve become numb to their backhanded comments and criticism.

Yet deep down you know they’re right. When your sister finally has her baby you can’t live with them anymore so you need to start thinking about your future now or it’ll be too late. But it’s already late.

“You’re too kind, boy.” your mom says to the fiancée, dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “Maybe what she needs is a good man like you. Do you have any single, good men in your family that will be interested in my lazy daughter?”

“Mom.” you say to her warningly, throwing her a stern expression. You hear the fiancée chortle.

“What?” she asks innocently. “If you aren’t going to college then your future as an independent woman is over. You’ll need to find a man with a well established job if you want to live a good life. We’re all just looking out for you, honey.”

Exhaling a long dramatic sigh, you push your seat back and get up. You couldn’t stand it anymore—their never ending berating. When you walk away you hear all of them call out your name and telling you to come back down to eat. But you aren’t hungry, you’re tired. Tired of filling the space.

When you go up to your room you change out of the clothing your sister picked out for you and opt in for a lightweight sweater and sweats. You sneak back down the stairs and exit the house without being heard from your family, who you can hear still talking at the dining table.

The walk from the house to seashore was brief. It was nothing but you, your thoughts and the sound of waves crashing tonight because you don’t intend to go back until late in the night. And your family won’t get worried, they know that this is your way of throwing a tantrum.

Once you sat down on the soft part of the sand, you press your knees up to your chest then rest your chin on top of your kneecaps and stare at the salty water. This was your new favorite pastime. You used to have such a short attention span until coming here to Jeju. Everything about Jeju was slow and peaceful which is just what your tired body needs after putting yourself through twenty years of academic stress.

Unaware of how long you’ve been sitting in the sand and staring at the ocean, a silhouette emerges from the shadows. There is only one other person who would deliberately keep to themselves and use the beach as a form of refuge.

In routinely fashion, Sae-byeok approaches your lonely figure and sits down next to you without uttering a single word. Her long limbs stretch out in the sand and she also maintains her eyes on the ocean.

Your relationship with Kang Sae-byeok (if you couldn’t even call it that) was blurry. In the few months you’ve known her, it was easy to be around her. You never felt pressured to talk or to fake niceties with her. However, Sae-byeok’s guardedness and intimidation was ultimately the reason the two of you never got close. It’s hard to even consider the stoic girl a friend. And you think she’s fine with that.

Ever since she’s moved in this small town in Jeju, you felt a tad bit less lonely sharing the comfort of knowing there’s another girl your age living close by. But you still have so many questions to ask her. What do you do for a living to afford to live in one of the nicest house alone? Where are your parents? Are they wealthy? You don’t have a single clue about her and she wants to keep it that way.

And all Sae-byeok knows about you is that you don’t have a single clue about anything anymore—you just exist to fill the space. Or at least, that’s the way you explained your life to her.

The salty aroma, the sound of the waves sloshing and the cool breeze was enough to lull you to sleep. While slowly shutting your eyes, you almost forgot Sae-byeok’s silent presence was still there. Sleep was overtaking your body.

“What’re you doing here?” you hear her low hoarse ask you. You’re in a place where she speaks in full sentences now.

“Hiding.” you reply softly and open your eyes to look at her beautiful face. It was entrancing how the moonlight reflected onto her best features.

Her eyes start moving to stare down at her feet and she nods. “From?” she adds quietly.

“My parents. They’re here to visit my sister and her fiancée for the weekend.” you sigh.

When she glances up to face you, there is no longer the hesitation to avoid peering into your eyes like she did months ago. You know your strange bond with Sae-byeok is a little bizarre but you find her guarded presence a little comforting too.

“They aren’t here to see you?” she questions, her tone flat as usual but you paid attention to the way her eyebrows quirked for a second.

You hum in thought before shrugging. “I don’t know. They haven’t been happy with me recently.”

Maybe that little flicker in her eyes was pity because it made your heart clench. She must think about you like they do.

After you go back to observe the darkly illuminated ocean, you felt a warm hand softly grab the back of your head. You didn’t have time to react before feeling a soft pair of lips gently press yours.

This wasn’t going to be one of those typical nights of silence, that you’re sure of. Tonight is a rare moment in time where Sae-byeok is yearning for the affection of another and you’re always the one chosen to fill that void in her heart. But like everything Sae-byeok does, it’s a fleeting moment of affection that vanishes when morning comes.

And tonight, you weren’t having her push and pull antics after that disaster dinner with your family. You don’t initially react to the kiss and stiffly remain in the same position. The feeling lingered for a brief second before Sae-byeok pulled away. Her usual sharp gaze went completely soft as she slowly drew back after staring at your face centimeters close.

“Did I…?” she trails off unsurely.

You hesitate. “I feel like I don’t know you—“

“I told you that it’s better for us if you don’t know anything.” she sighs, sounding insecure and starts drawing shapes in the sand. “It’s easier this way.”

“…For you maybe.” you murmur quiet enough for her not to hear. You don’t need any more uncertainties in your life.

This was something new you both did—share stolen kisses. And if you’re both feeling extra lonely, then it would lead to something much deeper and vulnerable but that only occurred twice. Although it feels nice to be with her in the moment, you didn’t want her just for a brief period.

Without saying anything else, you feel her body shifting and the sound of shoes crunching on sand. You didn’t glance back at her when she started walking away. This was something she did when you tried getting close to her—she runs away.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

The salty air stung your face as you rode your bike to the boutique. At first, the smell was burning your nostrils but like everything in life, the feeling subsides. By the time you make it to the shop, your skin is hot by the sun glaring underneath you and your legs sore from pedaling fast. You were a few minutes late.

Once you’re in front of the boutique, you stop pedaling and hop off your bike. You didn’t see your sister this morning but you’re crossing your fingers she’s running errands instead of working. She already gave you a warning a few days ago about your tardiness and you don’t want to face her wrath again.

When you roll your bike to the back of the store you heard two familiar voices that shouldn’t coincide in the same vicinity. You hold your breath when you turn the corner and duck your head low.

You don’t know why Sae-byeok was here. She was leaning against the wall next to your coworker Ji-yeong, sharing a cigarette and giggling amongst each other like drunken friends. But when they spotted you coming around the corner, they mellowed out. You pretend not to see them, turn up the music in your headphones and quickly rest your bike against the wall.

A strange feeling in your stomach brews seeing them together like that. You were never seen with Sae-byeok in broad daylight—all of your interactions were hidden underneath the moonlight. It was a conflict feeling but then again, you don’t know a thing about her. So, you should stop setting yourself up to get hurt for no good reason.

Throughout your shift, you try to interact with international tourists as best as you can while suggesting an item of clothing. It was hard to force a customer service smile when you could see the two girls from the corner of your eyes, chatting by the counter.

You force your mind to think you’re upset that Ji-yeong is making you do all the customer service work while she does nothing. But deep down, you might be jealous. You thought you had something special with Sae-byeok…she doesn’t even smile that widely with you.

After finishing helping the customers as best as you can with the language barrier, you hide in the corner of the store arranging a rack that didn’t need to be fixed. But you couldn’t go anywhere else in this small shop without looking at Ji-yeong and Sae-byeok, so this was the only spot where you couldn’t see them.

“What’re you doing here?” a voice asks demandingly. You jump and snap your eyes to look at your sister, whose arms were crossed. “Well?”

“Cleaning.” you reply with a straight face. Of course she isn’t buying it. “What do you want me to do? It’s practically empty here right now besides those two tourist still in the store.”

She rolls her eyes and fixates her eyes on something ahead. “Hey, isn’t that your friend? The weird quiet one with, Ji?”

“Shut up.” you hiss.

She blinks like she was studying your anxious demeanor until she heard the sound of the door ring. “Look, go help them—they look rich.”

After another thirty minutes, Sae-byeok finally left the shop without uttering a word to you. To be fair, you were just helping customers but she didn’t look at you either. You try to swallow back the pain of rejection.

“I’m going on break.” you mutter to Ji-yeong who was ringing a customer at the counter. She curtly nods, barely any acknowledgment to your being as well.

Outside the boutique your sister bought an expensive bench painted white to match the rest of the shops exterior. You like to sit outside it for your break and observe the passerby’s. This town is much busier than your small, boring one. It’s filled with tourists, bikers, photographers and clumsy kids.

Five minutes into your break you feel someone sit beside you.

“You’re ignoring me now?” Sae-byeok mutters, shoving her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.

You barely look at her before shaking your head. “What did you want me to do? Jump in joy?”

She snorts and starts observing the crowd walking up and down the sidewalk too. “Ji-yeong invited me to this party—you should come.”

You fight back the urge to ask her about Ji-yeong and their history together. “I’m alright.”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment to think. “Just come.” she says much quieter. You give her a skeptical look. She sighs at it. “It’s just in case I’m lonely there. I already said I’d go.”

“So, I’m just going to be there to fill the space?” you question, your voice shaking slightly by hurt. “No thanks.” you whisper.

“I didn’t mean it like that—I’m sorry.” she deadpans so you don’t believe she is.

You shake your head one last time and throw on your headphones. Since you only have a few minutes left to your break and you don’t want her to ruin it, you turn your body away to face her. It felt childish but you didn’t want her to see the pained expression on your face.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

You press your back to the wall, drinking out of your plastic red cup awkwardly as you watch a crowd of people dance up against each other—the lights flickering with color like a kaleidoscope in the ceiling.

It never dawned on you that you would ever be at a party on the mansion located in the hills of Jeju. For most residents here, their life goal is to be invited to a mansion party in this island. To get their small taste of the Great Gatsby. Although this wasn’t nowhere near as luxurious, it was still a big place with high ceilings, marble columns, and illegal drugs. Everything a rich person party needs and it made you feel out of place. They definitely party different—but most of the people here look like people your age so how different can they be?

You arrived to this party all alone. Sae-byeok wasn’t responding to your texts so for the first thirty minutes, you just took sips from your alcoholic beverage and walked around the mansion like it was a museum. It basically was a museum seeing as there were large intricate paintings and portraits carefully hung on the walls.

When you made it to the second floor, you started to get lost and after minutes of trying to find your way down the stairs you end up in an open space that looked like a smaller living room. A group of people occupied this space and turned to look at you when you froze by the entrance.

“Hey! Come over—don’t be shy!” a drunken voice slurs when you turned your back to walk away.

You quietly wince—without much of a choice you drag yourself over to them. A few kept their glazed eyes on you, others were too busy brewing an alcohol beverage that looked strong enough to make someone pass out. The person who called you over pats to the last empty seat next to them. It was a girl, short hair and multiple facial piercings.

“Now we have a full house!” she cheers once you sat down but no one acknowledged it, or least ignored her.

You peer at anything but the group of people chatting amongst each other. It was awkward being the only person not engaging in small talk so you keep taking swigs out of your drink. Now, you have to figure out how to slip out of this room without anyone noticing.

“Smoke?” the girl next to you asks, offering an already lit up cigarette to you.

You hesitantly stare at it. Since your dad was a heavy smoker, you were always intrigued by it. Screw it, you think, what else do I have to lose? You already lost everything.

When you nod, she holds the cigarette for you as you inhale the toxic smoke. Of course, you began choking up on the smoke and start coughing it out, your mouth and nostrils blowing out the grey smoke like a train engine. The girl laughs and starts patting your back.

“First time?” she asks, laughing and you only respond with a beet red face. “You didn’t inhale right. Breathe it in a little bit more deeper so it actually goes to your lungs.” she says and observes you as you try again. This time you didn’t choke up. “There you go.”

You never got her name but she offered you the strange alcohol concoction some dudes that looked blacked out drunk made. And with your mind already buzzing, you just took the cup and began drinking it. By the time you finished it, you were too afraid to move out of this couch with your head already spinning. It didn’t help that the people gathered around were blasting their own music and hopping on the seats like a bouncy castle—it only made you even more dizzy. But you couldn’t help but drunkenly giggle along side the girl next to you when one of the guys fell backwards on the couch.

She offers you another puff from her cigarette and you take it. When you place it between your teeth you see someone snatch it from your mouth. You peer up and see a hazy vision of the girl who led you to this party in the first place.

“There you fucking are. I was calling you.” she snarls, but her voice seeps of worry. You didn’t catch it however, your mind was too buzzed to properly catch her subtle cues. “Are you drunk?”

“I’m so tired…” you slur, resting your head in her lap. “All the time.”

Sae-byeok sighs and rakes her fingers through your hair, watching as you start lulling to sleep on her lap. But you couldn’t fall asleep just yet. The thought of dragging you out of this party and to your house already is making her body tired.

Sae-byeok knows better than you just drop you off home, knowing how hot headed your sister can be. She’s seen the way she barks order at you in her boutique. But it made her nervous bringing you to her house to spend the night. Ever since she bought the house with the prize money, she never allowed anyone in—she always thought the first people who would step in would be Cheol and her mom. But that’s what she gets for bringing more people into her life.

She crinkles her nose in disgust as she holds up your hair while your face was stuck in the toilet bowl, throwing up all the alcohol in your system. Once you’re done hacking like your life depended on it, you groan in pain and press your body on the tile wall of Sae-byeok’s bathroom—still unable to grasp that you’re actually in her house. But your mind is still loopy you couldn’t think about it too hard unless you wanted to throw up again.

You could feel the weight of her stare on your sad sprawled figure as you recollect yourself. “I’m not that drunk. Just dizzy.” you grumble at her, hugging your sore stomach.

“Whatever you say.” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Stay here—I’ll bring you a change of clothes.”

After several minutes go by, she reappears with her worn out sweats and a band tee shirt. Her posture slumps when she sees you burying your crying face on your propped up knees. “Hey, why are you crying?” she asks in a softer tone, kneeling down to be at your level.

But you didn’t reply and maybe it wasn’t appropriate for her to ask you in your drunken state. So, she lifts you off the bathroom floor and guides you to her bedroom. When you lay on her bed, eyes already half lidded trying to fight back sleep, she chews on the inside of her cheek to think. You still have to change but you’re in a worn out state to physically be able to do it. It wouldn’t be weird for her to undress you and put on your clothes for you right? She’s seen you without any clothes twice before.

You don’t react when she starts pulling up your shirt, exposing your upper body to the cool air nipping your skin. And after she’s done putting on her sweats on you, you’re already asleep. She stares at your face, your mouth parted open slightly and cheeks tinted red from the alcohol. But she couldn’t help but worry about the tear marks across your face that didn’t dry up yet.

Once Sae-byeok finished doing her short nighttime routine she rolls next to you on her bed. She naturally spoons you, wrapping one of her arms around your waist and nestles her head into the crook of your neck. After inhaling the fresh scent of perfume and cigarettes on you she could feel her own sober self lull to slumber.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

Head throbbing and limbs weak. That’s the first thing you felt when your eyes began to naturally flutter open. It took sometime to assess the place you woke up in and how you even got here in the first place. Your heart sunk when you remembered the hazy details. The sheer embarrassment of it all made you slam your face in the pillow and let out a groggily groan.

You are pathetic and an idiot. Sae-byeok saw the weakest form of you and you might never live it down. But surely you couldn’t have been that embarrassing? It’s not like you blacked out.

But now, you were afraid to leave the room feeling like you already trespassed enough. But Sae-byeok had to be somewhere in the house, she wouldn’t have left you here all by yourself you hope.

When you toss aside the sheets you gasp seeing the unfamiliar set of oversized clothes on your body. You’re conflicted whether to feel special or embarrassed with the fact she let you wear her clothes.

Sae-byeok’s room is…sad. She has no decorations that mark this room as hers except for her belongings mindlessly left on top of her night stand—her keys, wallet, and cigarette pack. It gets even stranger when you carefully step outside—the floor and walls were empty canvases.

You heard plates and silverware’s cluttering as you walked across the hallway. Naturally, you stiffen up and hug your body feeling exposed when you realized Ji-yeong was cooking something up in the kitchen and Sae-byeok leaning across the island counter, sipping from her mug. But only Ji-yeong turned to acknowledge you.

“Hey.” she greets casually. “I’m making breakfast, you want some? It’s not the best but probably will help if you eat something. Sae told me you got absolutely shitfaced last night—same here.” she snorts.

Your cheeks blaze up. When you glance over at Sae-byeok, your heart gets heavy seeing her act as if you were invisible to her. Did you piss her off last night thanks to your drunken stupor?

Feeling exposed and conflicted, you let out a low, “No, thank you.”

“Are you sure?” Ji-yeong asks. “I don’t mind making another plate.”

You softly shake your throbbing head. “I’m just…going home.”

She doesn’t argue with you, only purses her lips and nods. You look at Sae-byeok again, still nothing. So you awkwardly shuffle back to her room to gather your things. You hope all your belongings are here anyways.

When you find your clothes folded by the edge of Sae-byeok’s drawer you press them to your chest and smell the stench of alcohol and cigarettes on them. You peer down and contemplate changing or walking away with the clothes you have on. That’s when the door creaks open behind you.

“Why aren’t you going to eat?” is the first thing she says to you. She leans her body against the door, keeping you trapped here as she hardens her gaze on you.

“I just want to go home.” you mutter in defeat, feeling small underneath her stare. “I’ll eat there.”

“Fine.” she exhales. “And…why were you crying last night?”

You swallow thickly. “I didn’t know I was…”

“You do.” she says coolly. “You weren’t that drunk by the time we got home. We both know that.”

You know that last night, you cried about everything in your life. The fact that you completely disappointed your parents for good, your sister sees you as a nuisance in her home, and you can never have Sae-byeok the way you want her. And you let it spiral a little out of control last night. But she isn’t with you and she isn’t your friend, so she doesn’t need to know.

“My head is too foggy right now. Just let me go please.” you croak out. She still doesn’t move out of the way. “Do you want me to give you your clothes back?”

Her posture slouches in defeat. “No. But can we just…just meet me later tonight at our spot, okay? We should probably talk.”

You don’t say anything. Actually, you didn’t much all day leading up to the night you met up with Sae-byeok. Because the moment you got home, all you did was stay locked up in your room with a throbbing headache and anticipating the night. You kept replaying the last thing she said to you in your head over and over trying to figure out what possibly would she want to talk about with you.

When midnight rolled around you threw on your black jacket and tossed the hoodie over your head, carrying Sae-byeok’s clothes with you as you snuck out the house.

Once you made it to your designated spot at the seashore, she was already there. She also had a hoodie thrown over her head but you knew it was her furiously typing on her phone. You took a deep breath before heading to sit next to her. As you sat down, you saw her face contort with frustration thanks to her phone softly illuminating over her face. She turns it off when she sees you silently waiting for her.

“Thanks.” she grumbles when you pass over her clothes and rests them on her lap.

“So,” you began airily. “why did you want to meet?”

She presses her lips together and pulls her knees to her chest in a guarded position that made you more nervous. “I just wanted to tell you that it was great having you around…before you I was pretty lonely—in general…And you’re sort of the first person I’ve ever been intimate with. But I realize how unhappy we both are and I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.”

For the first time, she finds herself struggling to look over her shoulder to see your face. You shut your eyes to stop your eyes from filling with tears and prepare yourself to listen to the rest of her explanation. Even if it left an achy feeling in your heart.

“I’m—broken, okay?” Sae-byeok trembles. “I can’t make you happy. Not when I can’t make myself happy.”

You start sniffling. It was so obvious, wasn’t it? You always thought that things would never work out with someone as closed off and cold as Sae-byeok but hearing her say it out loud stung more than the past thoughts. But she was right, neither of you were in the right state of mind. It still pissed you off though.

“Fuck you.” you whisper at her, your tone rough but heartbroken. All those stolen kisses and rare nights spent tangled underneath the sheets were turning into bittersweet memories in real time.

Just as you cursed at her, the waves came hurling down twice as big than they normally do. You gasp when the cold salty water soaked your pants. The two of you start scrambling backwards and the contact of the water. Sae-byeok stares at you wide eyed as you mumbled multiple curses while frowning down at your drenched pants.

After the fleeting cursing, you whip your hear up at the sky and see the full moon shining brightly underneath you.

“I—I’m going I can’t—“

“No. Please.” Sae-byeok silently begs, firmly wrapping her hand around your wrist to prevent you from moving. This was the first time you heard her speak in such a vulnerable tone. She walks around you to fully face you, breath hitching but looking deeply into your eyes. “If I ever get my shit together…do you think we could give this a chance maybe?”

You shake your head. “Sae-byeok, I can’t predict the future.”

“Okay but just—“

“What about me?!” you retort back louder than you expect to sound. She immediately closes her mouth, eyes rounding. “Have you ever thought about how I feel? About my life? Do you even care at all? Sae-byeok…I’m so lonely and confused! Did you know I dropped out of law school?” you ask pressing your finger to her chest causing her to stumble backwards without saying a word. “No, you didn’t! And you never cared to ask about why my parents never thought to see me because—I disappointed them! So…So that’s why I moved in with my sister because I couldn’t stand the ridicules anymore but she is losing patience with me by the day so I bet it’s only a matter of time before she kicks me out. But…you made me feel seen. I thought what we had was sacred and special—and I held onto the hope that maybe one day you’d realize that too. But you don’t really want me—you like the idea or probably because you’re even more lonely than I am that you’re desperate for affection.”

By the time you finished talking, she already dropped your hand. You didn’t dare to face her when your eyes were swimming with tears and your body shaken up from the cold and heartbreak. And when you finally turned around to walk away, deep down you wished that she would stop you and fight for you. But if she doesn’t have any fight left in her, then that was a sign enough for you to leave.

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

Sae-byeok began watching you from afar. The morning bike rides you took to your sister’s boutique, when you sat outside your porch and staring down at the ground in deep thought, and the nights you laid on the beach. She left you completely alone.

As the days gone by she wondered if she’d ever get the pieces of herself back together. But the nightmares never really leave, no matter how much money the world can offer—the horrors she endured and witnessed never got better like she hoped.

After the bus ride back from Cheol’s foster home, she checks the calendar on her phone. In just two months, if things go smoothly, she’ll finally reunite with her mother and she can finally get back her small family together.

When those two months turned into one month, Sae-byeok started to notice you weren’t around anymore. She knows how much you like secluding yourself in your room, but Ji-yeong hasn’t heard from you and she hasn’t seen you on your routinely biking ride in the mornings. One night, she waited by the seashore hoping you’d appear but obviously you never showed up. She felt stupid for even trying to hope.

She broke your heart—you had every right to disappear from her life. But you aren’t physically around.

So, the night before she had to go pick up her mother from the airport she decided to take matters into her own hand.

Her sweaty hands knock on the door to your sister’s house. After a few minutes someone finally answers and it was your sister. The first thing she noticed was her slightly round protruding belly.

“Oh, it’s you.” she hums sounding disappointed and leans against the door frame. “Is there something you need?”

Sae-byeok inhales deeply first. “Is she here?”

Your sister stares at her blankly before an uneasy expression started to form. “She didn’t tell you?” she asks and Sae-byeok remains frozen in place with her heart hammering out of her chest. “She went back to live with our parents to study law again. Left like…two months ago?”

“Oh.” she says lowly, trying not to make her face look readable. “Thanks.”

Your sister raises a brow, feeling skeptical of her odd appearance. But she just watches as she slumps in posture whilst slowly dragging her feet out of her property before closing the door behind her.

Sae-byeok chokes back tears and recalls the events of the last time you two spoken. It hits her—you never promised her anything. Of course you left without a trace.

Now she can only ever wonder, if she told you that night she wanted to be with you, would you have stayed?

🏷️: @tyresedidujsfart @yourstalkergirlfriend @yenyu1s @we1rdth0ughts @asappywriter @lilylamps @am4lv0da @everly-summers-solace @peelover25 @saebyeokbliss @noaanotfound @jumpedthenfell-13 @tlouloser @lyzem @thisuserisxnangel @knfthxv @laurenkenss @ninistranaut @stellssxo @bitchybananaflower @gummyoonji @marfe816 @knvschau @monroesturnns

[gdinthehouseee]

I Belong To You: KWON JI-YONG x READER

summary: after years of being separated, and a night of stolen glances and unspoken feelings, your ex-boyfriend, ji-yong, invites you to his penthouse.

word count: 4024

tags: angst to fluff; exes to lovers, jealousy, slightly spicy towards the end

ao3 link

Ji-yong swirls the amber liquid in his glass, watching the way it catches the light, pretending he doesn’t notice the way cameras keep panning to you. But he does. How could he not notice the way you’re dressed in something stunning, the way you continue to command attention without lifting a finger, the way you’re pretending not to notice him too. He knows you a little too well for your liking—he always has.

Briefly pulling him out of his own head, the audience erupts into polite applause as the host rattles on about the next category, but the words barely register in his mind. He knows the drill—clap, nod, look engaged. He’s done this a million times. But tonight, it’s different. Not because you’re here. No. The two of you have been pretending not to see each other sitting so close yet so far from each other for a few years now.

Tonight is different because this time you’re not alone.

The artist you recently collaborated with is sitting beside you, leaning in too close, whispering something in your ear that makes you laugh. Ji-yong doesn’t have to check his phone to know what’s already happening. The cameras have caught it, the fans have seen it, and the internet is losing its mind. There will be clips, slowed-down edits, overanalyzed expressions. People will pick apart every second, searching for something—anything—to confirm their theories. Some will say you’ve finally moved on. Others will refuse to believe it, insisting you’re just trying to make him jealous. And maybe, in some twisted way, they’re right. Because the longer Ji-yong watches, the more certain he becomes that you know exactly what you’re doing. And it’s working.

The whispers had been there for months. Quiet speculations, half-serious comments under posts.

"Why haven’t they been seen together lately?""Ji-yong didn’t like her last three posts… something feels off.""She used to wear his jewelry all the time. When’s the last time we saw it?"

But nothing set the internet on fire like the day you released that song. It wasn’t an outright breakup anthem—no names, no obvious details. But it was melancholic. Raw. The kind of song that settled under the skin, playing in the back of people's minds long after it ended. And the lyrics…

You weren’t angry. You weren’t bitter. You were heartbroken. It didn’t take long before the theories started rolling in.

"Wait. Wait. WAIT. Is this a breakup song??"“Please tell me she just felt like making a break-up song…” "If they’re still together, why would she write this??""IS THIS ABOUT GD???”

Some refused to believe it, digging for loopholes, convincing themselves it was just a song. But the more they analyzed the lyrics, the deeper they spiraled. Someone found an old interview where you had casually mentioned, "I write best from experience." And that’s when the internet really lost its mind.

Breakup edits flooded timelines. Your old moments together—laughing, whispering, looking at each other like no one else in the world existed—now repurposed under the saddest soundtracks imaginable. Fan accounts were in shambles. Some mourned. Others coped through denial. But one tweet said it best:

"If this song is really about Ji-yong, I don’t think I’ll ever recover."

Ji-yong saw that tweet. And he hasn’t recovered either.

He should have known tonight wouldn’t have been any easier than the last few award shows. From the moment you walked into the venue, the cameras couldn’t get enough of you. The fans couldn’t stop screaming your name. And now, as you stand on stage beside him, accepting the award for Best Collaboration, Ji-yong feels a familiar, sinking weight in his chest.

You thank your team, your fans, everyone who made this happen. Your collaborator smiles beside you, the two of you standing close—too close—and Ji-yong knows the internet is already eating this up.

The lights shift. The first notes of your song together play. 

Ji-yong leans back in his seat, jaw tight, as you and your collaborator exchange a glance before stepping into position. The performance is effortless—smooth, intimate, rehearsed. Every look, every touch, every perfectly timed harmony makes it clear why the song was a hit. The chemistry is there, and Ji-yong isn’t the only one who notices. Fans are already screaming. Social media is probably on fire.

And then—just when Ji-yong thinks he can finally breathe—the lights don’t turn up again, in fact, they dim even lower. There’s a pause. Murmurs ripple through the venue.

Then, a single spotlight. It lands on you, and the opening chords of that song begin to play.

Ji-yong stiffens. He hears the collective gasp from the audience, feels the energy shift. Because this—this wasn’t publicly announced. This wasn’t planned. And yet, here you are, standing alone in the center of the stage, staring straight into the camera as you sing the first words.

"I don’t blame you, I just miss you."

The same line that had sent the internet spiraling. The song is stripped down—just a piano, raw vocals, and heartbreak woven into every note. Ji-yong doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t breathe. The entire venue is silent, hanging onto every word. Because this is the moment. The confirmation. The truth. No one can deny it anymore. This is the breakup song. This is the proof. This is what the fans had been speculating about for years.

The camera pans through the audience, catching dropped jaws, wide eyes, people clinging to their seats. Some fans are already in tears. Others are recording with shaking hands.

And Ji-yong? He’s gripping his phone so tightly his knuckles turn white. Because the way you sing it—soft, emotional, your voice cracking just enough on the high notes—he knows it’s real. He knows it’s about him. 

When you reach the bridge—the part that had wrecked him the first time he heard it—your voice softens, turning almost fragile. The lyrics cut through the silence like a confession, every word laced with something raw, something unspoken. He feels it in his chest, the weight of your voice pressing down on him like gravity. The way you linger on certain lines, how your lips part just slightly before the next note—it’s all too familiar. Because he knows this song. He was the one who used to hear those words before anyone else. He was the one who knew what they truly meant.

Then, for the briefest second, your eyes flicker across the room.

And when they finally land on him—just for a moment, just long enough to steal the air from his lungs—Ji-yong forgets everything else.

It’s barely noticeable, but he catches it. The slightest hesitation, the way your breath hitches before the next lyric, the flicker of something deep in your gaze before you force yourself to look away. But he saw it. And it’s enough. Because no matter how much time has passed, no matter how many headlines or rumors or new collaborations have tried to fill the space between you—this moment tells him everything.

You still feel it, too.

Ji-yong exhales, shaking his head, running his tongue over his teeth before looking down at his phone. Without a second thought, he opens the contact that never blocked him. The contact that maybe should have blocked him all those years ago. The contact that shut the door, yet never locked it.

Your heart is still racing as you make your way back to your seat. The applause is deafening, a mix of cheers and shocked murmurs rippling through the venue. You don’t need to check social media to know it’s already in flames—fan theories igniting, clips of your performance circulating within seconds. But none of it matters. Not right now.

Because the only thing on your mind is him.

Sliding into your seat, you smooth your dress over your legs, trying to steady your breathing. Your collaborator leans over, whispering something about how insane that moment was, how the internet is probably imploding, but his voice barely registers.

Your phone vibrates in your palm.

“Come over once this is done.”

You stare at the words, fingers tightening around your phone. The weight of his message settles over you, heavy and intoxicating all at once. He’s not even pretending. No casual “Congratulations.” No vague “We should catch up.” Just this. Direct. Certain. Exactly like him, painfully so.

Your thumb hovers over the keyboard for a moment before you start typing. “Yours or mine?”

The reply comes almost instantly.

“Don’t make me wait.”

A slow exhale leaves your lips. The meaning is clear.

You lock your phone, not even bothering to reply, pulse thrumming against your skin. The award show continues around you—more speeches, more performances, more things you should probably be paying attention to. But the only thing you can think about is the fact that in just a little while, you’ll be face to face with Ji-yong again. Something tells you neither of you will be walking away unscathed. You can’t help but think of the last time you were in his penthouse.

Maybe it was the rain that made everything feel heavier that night, or maybe it was the way Ji-yong wouldn’t look at you when he said it. “Maybe we should stop this.”  You had known, deep down, that he was already halfway out the door, that the fights weren’t really fights anymore but drawn-out endings neither of you wanted to name. “Would you have ever let me go?”  He had asked, voice quiet, almost pleading. And you hadn’t answered—because the truth was, you never would have. So he did it for you. And now, after standing under those stage lights, singing the words that had lived in your chest ever since—I don’t blame you. I just miss you.—you knew he was out there, listening. You knew he understood. He has always known you a little too well, and he always will. 

The city pulsed beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, neon signs flickering in and out of focus, their glow reflecting off the sleek marble floors. Inside, it was quiet—too quiet. The kind of silence that felt deliberate, heavy with the things neither of you had said in too long.

You stepped further in, the soft click of your heels the only sound between you. The air smelled like him—something warm, familiar, laced with the faintest trace of smoke. Ji-yong stood by the window, back turned, a cigarette burning between his fingers, untouched. He wasn’t smoking it. Just holding it, watching the city below like it might have answers.

"You came," he murmured, not turning around. His voice was lower than you remembered, a little rough around the edges.

"You told me to."

He finally turned then, his gaze sweeping over you, lingering. His lips curled into something unreadable—half a smirk, half something else, something more cautious. Like he hadn’t actually expected you to show. Like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted you to.

"Hell of a performance tonight," he said, voice deceptively light.

You swallowed, tilting your head. "Which part?"

"You know which part."

Of course you did. It had been impossible to miss—how the audience lost their minds when the first chords of your solo rang out, how the camera panned to him the second your voice wrapped around the lyrics. The ones you had written with him still lingering in the back of your mind. The ones he recognized the moment you sang them.

You shifted, arms crossing over your chest, suddenly too aware of the weight in the air. "Did you mean it?" you asked, voice quieter than you intended.

His jaw tightened. "Did you?"

It wasn’t an answer. But maybe neither of you had one. Not yet. The silence between you stretched, thick with the weight of everything unsaid. Outside, the city still pulsed, but here—here, it was just you and him, standing in the aftermath of something neither of you had figured out how to name.

Ji-yong finally moved, stepping away from the window, snuffing out his cigarette in a crystal ashtray on the table. "Sit," he said, nodding toward the couch.

You hesitated. Not because you didn’t want to—but because you knew what this was. You knew the pattern, the pull, the way the air always seemed to shift when you were in the same room. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, how many miles had stretched between you. The moment you let yourself be near him, the distance never seemed to matter at all. Still, you sat.

Ji-yong watched you for a moment before settling into the armchair across from you, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. His gaze flickered over your face, like he was searching for something—like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to find it.

"How long are we gonna do this?" His voice was quieter now, less teasing, more careful.

"Do what?" You knew what he meant, but you weren’t ready to give him that. Not yet.

He huffed out something like a laugh, shaking his head. "You know what. The stolen glances. The bullshit small talk when we run into each other. The way half the internet still thinks we’re secretly together."

You tilted your head, letting the words hang between you for a moment before saying, "Depends on what your definition of ‘stopping’ was."

His lips parted slightly, and you saw the moment the words hit—like an echo of that night, when he’d stood in this very room and told you that whatever this was… wasn’t working. That the two of you should stop seeing each other. When you hadn’t answered, because you hadn’t wanted to stop at all.

He exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. "You know why I texted you."

You leaned back against the couch, exhaling slowly. "Do I?"

"I saw you up there." His voice was lower now, quieter, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it out loud. "Singing that song. Looking at me."

"It’s a song, Ji-yong." Your fingers curled slightly against your lap.

"Don’t do that." He ran a hand through his hair, eyes flashing. "Don’t act like that was just a song. Like you weren’t—" He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "You meant it. I know you did."

Your stomach twisted. Because he was right. The song wasn’t a lie. It was the closest thing to the truth you could bring yourself to say, wrapped in melody and lyrics and the weight of everything left behind. You had known the moment you performed it that he’d hear every unspoken word between the lines. And yet, a part of you had still been surprised by how much it seemed to hit him.

Ji-yong leaned forward again, his elbows braced on his knees. "Did you write it because you were angry?"

You blinked. "What?"

"The song." His gaze burned into you. "Was it because you were angry at me?"

You let out a breath of something close to a laugh, shaking your head. "No, Ji-yong."

"Then why?"

"Because I missed you."

The words hung between you, heavier than anything else in the room. Ji-yong’s lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.

He exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the strands in frustration. "So what, you missed me, but you moved on?" His voice was lower now, rough around the edges, like he was forcing himself to stay calm. But you knew him too well—knew the tension in his shoulders, the way his leg bounced slightly, the heat in his gaze.

You frowned. "What?"

"Him." He tilted his chin toward the muted TV, where clips of your performance still played, his eyes dark and unreadable. "You and him." His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and his jaw flexed. "That’s real, isn’t it?"

"Ji-yong—"

"Just say it." His voice was firmer now, raw with something that almost sounded like desperation. "Tell me you’re with him."

Your breath caught in your throat. "I’m not."

Something flickered in his expression—relief, maybe—but it was gone in a second, buried under something heavier. "But you could be, right?" He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "You look good together. The internet thinks so, anyway. Maybe that’s what you needed—someone who wasn’t afraid to have you by his side, out in the open."

You flinched at the accusation in his tone. "That’s not fair."

"Isn’t it?" He leaned in, his eyes burning into yours. "You think I don’t see the way people talk? How they say you’re happier now? How they beg you to move on from me?" His voice dropped even lower, like he was choking on the words. "Maybe you already have."

Your chest tightened. "Ji-yong, it was just a song. Just a performance."

"Doesn’t look like that’s all it was."

"And whose fault is that?" The words snapped from your lips before you could stop them, and Ji-yong stilled, his breath hitching.

Silence stretched between you yet again. Your heart pounded, but you didn’t look away. "You were the one who said we should stop, remember?" Your voice wavered, but it didn’t break. "You walked away first. And now you’re angry because someone else was willing to stand next to me?"

Ji-yong’s throat bobbed, his fists clenching against his knees. "I—"

"You don’t get to be mad about this."

"Like hell I don’t." His voice was rough now, sharp with emotion as he sat forward, his hands gripping his knees so tightly his knuckles turned white. "You think I wanted to walk away? You think I don’t regret it every fucking day?" His jaw clenched, his eyes blazing. "Do you know what it does to me, seeing you with him? Seeing the way you smiled up at him tonight, the way he had his hands on you like he had the right?"

Your breath caught, your stomach twisting. "Ji-yong—"

"It makes me sick," he rasped, his voice nearly breaking. "Because it should be me."

The room felt impossibly small, the air thick with everything unspoken, everything left behind. You could feel your pulse in your throat, your fingers trembling against your lap.

And then, softer this time, almost like he hated himself for admitting it—

"It should’ve always been me."

The weight of his words settled between you, heavy and suffocating. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the tension in the space closing in, crackling like a live wire. His eyes searched yours, dark and desperate, and something in you snapped.

Before you could second-guess it—before reason could talk you out of it—you surged forward, gripping the front of his shirt and pulling him in.

Ji-yong barely had time to inhale before your lips crashed into his. A sharp inhale, a shuddered exhale—then he was kissing you back with just as much fire, his hands flying to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The moment his fingers dug into your skin, a quiet, broken sound slipped from your throat, and that was all it took for him to completely unravel. His hands slid up, one tangling into your hair, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. His lips were frantic, almost desperate, molding against yours in a way that felt both familiar and like something entirely new. You gasped against his mouth as his teeth grazed your bottom lip, and he took the opportunity to press even closer, his grip tightening like he was terrified you’d slip away again.

The taste of him—faint traces of champagne and something unmistakably him—sent a shiver down your spine. Your fingers fisted in his shirt, as if holding onto him could stop the past from swallowing you both whole. It was intoxicating. Overwhelming. And so, so dangerous.

When the two of you finally needed to breathe, your breaths tangled in the space between you, uneven and desperate, his forehead pressed against yours like he couldn’t bear to let go. His grip on your waist was firm, his fingers still curled into the fabric of your outfit, as if releasing you meant losing you all over again. His name was on the tip of your tongue, but the weight of everything—the past, the pain, the longing—held it back. Instead, you exhaled softly, your fingers loosening their hold on his shirt just enough to smooth over the wrinkles you had left behind.

"It always has been you."

Ji-yong tensed. His breath caught, and for a second, he didn’t move. Like the words had struck him too deeply, like he wasn’t sure he had heard them right.

And then, slowly, he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes searching, desperate for something—reassurance, confirmation, maybe even permission. "Say it again," he murmured, his voice rough.

Your hand slid up, resting against his cheek, your thumb brushing just below the dark smudge of eyeliner that had started to smudge from the heat between you. "It always has been you, Ji-yong."

Something in him broke.

With a sharp inhale, he crashed his lips against yours again, this time with even more urgency, like he had something to prove. Like he needed to remind you, remind himself, of everything you had once been. His hands roamed, gripping, pulling, desperate to keep you as close as possible. You gasped against his mouth, and he swallowed the sound with a groan, deepening the kiss until the rest of the world blurred into nothing.

His hands were everywhere—gripping your waist, sliding up your back, fingers threading through your hair as he tilted your head just the way he liked. The kiss deepened, his lips pressing into yours with a hunger that bordered on desperation, like he was trying to erase the time you had spent apart. Like he needed to remind you exactly who he was, who he had always been to you.

"You don’t know what you do to me," he murmured against your lips, his voice rough, his breath warm as his mouth trailed lower. His lips ghosted over your jaw, down the column of your throat, lingering at the spot just below your ear. "I tried, baby." He exhaled shakily, his grip tightening at your waist. "I really fucking tried to move on."

Your fingers curled into his shirt, needing something to ground yourself as his teeth grazed your skin, his lips pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses down your neck that had your breath hitching. "Ji-yong..."

With a growl, he grabbed your thighs, lifting you effortlessly onto the nearest surface—a sleek, marble counter, cool against your overheated skin. His hands spread your legs, stepping between them as he pulled you in, molding himself to you like he belonged there. And he did. The two of you belong to each other.

Your lips met again in a mess of teeth and tongues and unspoken words, the air between you thick with everything you had left unsaid. His fingers trailed up your thighs, his grip firm, possessive, like he was reminding himself that you were really here. That he could touch you again.

"Tell me you still feel this," he murmured against your lips, his voice rough with want. "Tell me I’m not the only one losing my mind."

You didn’t answer—not with words. Instead, you tugged him closer, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, "I never stopped."

Ji-yong cursed under his breath before crashing his lips to yours again, this time deeper, hungrier, as if those words had undone something inside him. His hands slid to your waist, gripping tight as he lifted you off the counter effortlessly, carrying you through the familiar space like he’d done a hundred times before.

Your back hit the couch, his body covering yours in an instant. His mouth never left your skin, trailing fire wherever he touched. "You’re mine," he murmured against your collarbone, his hands sliding down, gripping your thighs to pull you even closer. "And I’m yours."

taglist: @thanosscrossmain @maskedcrawford @mirahyun @riddlerloveb0t @onyxmango @sherrayyyyy @seunghyunwifey @mattsturniolosbabymama @redhoodedtoad @bettelaboure @petersasteria @allthoughtsmindfull

[kathaelipwse]

Dancing in the Moonlight | H.Hyunjin

Genre: Best Friends to Lovers

Synopsis: A late-night walk through the quiet city turns into something more when Hyunjin, ever the romantic, asks you to dance under the streetlights. As music drifts from a nearby café, confessions slip through the cracks of a long-time friendship—changing everything in the soft glow of the moonlight.

Warnings: Fluff and more FLUFF!

Word Count: 2.3K

Authors Note: Hyunjin as the bsf to lover trope- ahh I dunno this has my heart lmao-

The city breathed differently at night. It exhaled the day's anxieties, replacing them with a hushed, almost reverent calm. The harsh lines of buildings softened, streetlights cast a warm, forgiving glow, and the air carried the faintest scent of jasmine from hidden gardens. You walked beside Hyunjin, the silence between you a comfortable, familiar language.

Your hands, tucked deep into the oversized sleeves of your favorite hoodie, occasionally brushed against his. It was a fleeting, almost accidental touch, but it sent a shiver down your spine each time. Hyunjin, his hair tousled by the evening breeze, seemed lost in his own thoughts, his hands buried in his pockets.

“I can’t believe we’ve been walking for hours,” you mused, tilting your head up to look at him. The streetlights painted his profile in a soft, golden light, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the gentle curve of his lips.

Hyunjin grinned, glancing down at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Regretting it?”

“No,” you answered too quickly, then bit your lip, a blush warming your cheeks. “I like nights like this.”

He hummed in agreement, his gaze lingering on yours for a moment longer than necessary. “Me too.”

That was the thing about Hyunjin. Being with him was effortless. There were no awkward pauses, no forced laughter. Just the comforting silence of shared history, the unspoken understanding that came from years of friendship. Best friends, since childhood. That's what you were.

Or, at least, that’s what you had always told yourself.

You remembered the day you met. You were both awkward, lanky kids, new to the neighborhood, and he had offered you a half-eaten bag of chips, a gesture of unexpected kindness that had blossomed into an unbreakable bond. You had shared secrets whispered under starry skies, dreams sketched on crumpled notebooks, and the bittersweet ache of first heartbreaks.

But somewhere along the way, the lines had blurred. The laughter felt a little lighter, the touches lingered a little longer, and the late-night talks turned into confessions whispered in the dark.

“Wait,” Hyunjin suddenly stopped walking, and you nearly stumbled, your thoughts interrupted.

“What?” you asked, blinking at him in confusion.

He held up a finger, listening intently. “Do you hear that?”

Frowning, you focused. The faint melody of a song drifted from a cafe a few meters away. It was a slow, romantic tune, a melancholic piano melody overlaid with a soft, breathy vocal. You gave him a questioning look. “Yeah…?”

A mischievous grin spread across his lips, transforming his features. “Dance with me.”

Your brain short-circuited. “What?”

“Dance with me,” he repeated, already reaching for your hand, his fingers warm and strong against yours.

“In the middle of the street?!” you exclaimed, glancing around the empty street.

“Why not?” He chuckled, his fingers lacing with yours, effortlessly pulling you closer. “No one’s here but us.”

Your heart stuttered, a fluttery, anxious thing trapped in your chest. But you let him guide you anyway. Because that’s what you always did—let yourself be swept away by Hyunjin’s spontaneity, his infectious energy, his unwavering confidence.

He placed one hand on your waist, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you, and suddenly, you were swaying, feet moving in sync to the distant music. The world around you blurred, the city lights fading into a hazy backdrop. There was only him—the warmth of his palm against your skin, the soft pull of his touch, the way his eyes shone under the streetlights, reflecting the moonlight.

“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered, trying to sound exasperated, but your voice betrayed you, tinged with affection.

Hyunjin smirked, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “But you love me anyway.”

Your breath hitched. He said it so easily, so playfully, like it meant nothing. Like it wasn’t the exact thing that had been haunting your thoughts for months.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes to hide the way your pulse quickened. “Debatable.”

“Liar.” He twirled you suddenly, catching you off guard, and a laugh bubbled from your lips before you could stop it.

You hated how effortlessly he could do this—make your heart race, make you forget where the line between friendship and something more even existed. You weren’t sure when it started, this feeling. Maybe it had always been there, a seed planted in the fertile ground of your friendship, nurtured by shared laughter and whispered secrets. Or maybe it was a more recent bloom, a sudden realization that the boy you had known for so long had become a man who made your heart ache with longing.

You remembered a time in high school, during a particularly chaotic party, when you had found yourself alone with Hyunjin on the rooftop. The city lights had spread out beneath you like a glittering carpet, and the air had been thick with unspoken words. He had looked at you then, his eyes filled with a tenderness that had made your breath catch in your throat. But then, he had laughed, a nervous, self-deprecating laugh, and the moment had passed, leaving you with a lingering sense of what could have been.

And now, with his hand in yours, with the city quiet around you, with your heart screaming at you to say something, to do something—it became impossible to ignore.

Then, mid-spin, he whispered it, his voice barely audible above the music.

"I think I’m in love with you."

You froze, your feet rooted to the spot.

The words hung in the air, fragile and weightless, like a snowflake about to melt on your tongue. The music seemed to fade away, the city lights dimming, leaving you in a bubble of stunned silence.

Your feet stopped moving, but Hyunjin didn’t let go. His grip on your hand tightened, his expression unreadable, a mix of vulnerability and raw honesty. His eyes, usually filled with playful mischief, burned with something raw, something real.

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. Your brain refused to process the moment, refused to believe it was real. Hyunjin was your best friend. He wasn’t supposed to say things like that. He wasn’t supposed to make your heart feel like it was about to burst.

“Y-you…” You swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper. “You mean that?”

A soft chuckle left his lips, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I just didn’t know how to say it until now.”

Your chest ached, emotions crashing into you all at once. Part of you wanted to scream, You’re an idiot. I’ve been in love with you too. But another part of you—the scared part—wondered what would happen next. If things would change. If you’d lose him.

Hyunjin, always so perceptive, must’ve seen the hesitation in your eyes, because he exhaled softly and stepped closer, his free hand reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch was gentle, reassuring.

“I don’t need an answer right now,” he said gently. “I just… I couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

Your breath wavered. “Hyunjin…”

“Just…” His forehead rested against yours, his voice barely a whisper. “Tell me if there’s even the slightest chance you feel the same.”

Your heart clenched, a painful, beautiful ache. “You idiot,” you whispered back, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Of course I do.”

He pulled back slightly, searching your eyes, his expression a mix of hope and disbelief. “Yeah?”

A breathless laugh escaped you. “Yeah.”

And then he was smiling—grinning, actually—like you had just given him the entire universe. Before you could overthink it, before your fear could take over, you lifted yourself onto your toes and pressed a soft, fleeting kiss to his cheek.

Hyunjin blinked, startled. “Did you just—?”

“Yes,” you cut in, flustered, your cheeks burning. “Shut up.”

He laughed, the sound echoing through the empty street, a joyful, unrestrained sound that made your heart soar. And without warning, he pulled you into the tightest hug, lifting you off the ground just slightly. You yelped, clinging onto him as he spun you around, the both of you laughing like kids.

When he finally set you down, his hands still rested on your waist, his forehead pressed against yours once more. His smile softened, his voice dropping to something impossibly tender. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

You bit your lip, feeling warmth spread through your entire body, a warmth that had nothing to do with the night air. “Then do it.”

Hyunjin didn’t hesitate. He tilted his head slightly, closing the small gap between you, and then—his lips brushed against yours, soft and hesitant at first, like he was savoring the moment, testing the waters. But when you melted into him, when your fingers curled into the soft fabric of his hoodie, he deepened the kiss, pouring every unspoken word, every hidden feeling into it.

The kiss was a revelation. It was a culmination of years of friendship, a release of pent-up emotions, a declaration of love whispered in the language of touch. It was tender, passionate, and utterly breathtaking. You felt a wave of dizziness wash over you, a sense of falling, not into an abyss, but into something safe, something real.

The city around you faded away, the distant music becoming a soft, romantic soundtrack to your shared moment. All that remained was the two of you, standing under the warm glow of the streetlights, the world holding its breath.

When he finally pulled away, his lips just barely ghosting over yours, he grinned, a wide, radiant smile that lit up his entire face. “You’re mine now.”

You chuckled, nudging his chest playfully. “I think I’ve always been yours.”

Hyunjin beamed, pulling you in again, holding you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, a comforting, familiar sound that now held a new, deeper meaning.

As you stood there, wrapped in his arms, you realized something: you had spent so long wondering if loving your best friend was worth the risk, if it was worth jeopardizing the precious bond you shared.

Now, you knew.

It always was.

The silence that followed was comfortable, filled with the unspoken weight of newfound love. You felt a sense of peace, a quiet joy that settled deep within your bones.

"We should tell the others," Hyunjin murmured, his voice a low rumble against your ear.

"The others?" you asked, pulling back slightly. "You mean our friends?"

He nodded, a playful glint in his eyes. "Yeah. They've been waiting for this for years, you know. They'll probably throw a party."

You laughed, picturing your friends' reactions. They had always teased you and Hyunjin, their playful jabs about your "obvious" feelings a constant source of amusement and embarrassment.

"They'll never let us live this down," you said, shaking your head.

"Who cares?" Hyunjin shrugged, his smile widening. "As long as we're happy."

He took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours, and began walking again, this time with a newfound lightness in his step. You walked beside him, your heart overflowing with happiness, the city lights reflecting in your eyes like tiny stars.

You passed the cafe again, the music still drifting through the night air, a soft, romantic melody that now seemed to perfectly encapsulate your feelings. You paused, looking up at Hyunjin.

"That song," you said, pointing towards the cafe. "It's perfect."

He listened for a moment, then nodded in agreement. "It is. It's like it was written for us."

You smiled, a warm, genuine smile that reached your eyes. "Maybe it was."

He squeezed your hand, his touch sending a shiver of excitement down your spine. "Maybe it was."

You continued walking, hand in hand, the city lights guiding your way. You talked about everything and nothing, sharing stories and dreams, the comfortable silence between you now filled with a new, unspoken understanding.

As you approached your apartment building, Hyunjin stopped, turning to face you. The streetlights cast long shadows, creating a romantic, intimate atmosphere.

"I don't want this night to end," he said, his voice soft.

"Me neither," you admitted, your heart pounding in your chest.

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out, gently cupping your face in his hands. His touch was warm, reassuring.

"Can I… can I kiss you again?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

You nodded, your breath catching in your throat.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, soft and tender. The kiss was slow, deliberate, a silent promise of more to come.

When he finally pulled away, his eyes were filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

"Goodnight," he whispered, his voice husky.

"Goodnight," you replied, your voice barely audible.

He lingered for a moment, his gaze lingering on yours, then turned and walked away, disappearing into the shadows of the night.

You watched him go, your heart filled with a mixture of happiness and longing. You couldn't wait to see him again, to spend another night under the moonlight, dancing to the rhythm of your newfound love.

You entered your apartment, a smile still playing on your lips. You changed into your pajamas, your mind replaying the events of the night, each moment etched into your memory.

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, your thoughts swirling with dreams of the future. You imagined a future filled with laughter and love, a future where you and Hyunjin were inseparable, a future where your love story continued to unfold under the soft glow of the moonlight.

As you drifted off to sleep, you couldn't help but smile. You had found love in the most unexpected place, in the arms of your best friend, under the dancing moonlight. And you knew, with a certainty that warmed your soul, that this was just the beginning.

[himasgod]

ok i had a SUPER yummy request idea so hear me out. xiao x (possibly melancholic/normally calm) cryo reader with unnaturally cold skin, and they’re really unphased about it, but since most mortals he knows have warmer skin, and he keeps worrying that maybe it was his karma, or maybe they’re sick, so its just him panicking about their wellbeing😭😭😭

Xiao x Reader

Where you have naturally very cold skin, and Xiao worries about it

Where Xiao notices that your skin is very very cold, and he can't help but overthink if it's his fault, and worry about the coldness in your hands.

(Okay, this is the first time I've written in almost two months, so I really liked the result of this one!! I hope you like it too!!)

Atop the Wangshu Inn, Xiao stood in his usual spot, watching the horizon with his perpetually stoic expression. However, this time, his attention was not on the shadows lurking in the distance or the threats that could disturb the peace of the region. No.

His thoughts were on you.

Ever since he met you, there was something about you that unsettled him, though he could never quite explain it. Perhaps it was the stillness of your presence, the way the cold seemed to follow you like a second skin. Xiao had touched death countless times and knew that the cold was his inseparable companion, but in you there was not the icy embrace of death, but something different, something unnatural.

That particular night, as you stood by his side, he felt his chest burn with a restlessness that he could not quell. His gloved hand accidentally brushed yours, sending a chill down his spine. Your skin was ice-cold, far more so than should be natural for any living being.

“Are you okay?” he asked abruptly, frowning.

You gave him a calm look, tilting your head with a slight smile. “I’m fine.”

But that didn’t reassure him. Xiao had seen too many people say they were fine when in fact their fate was sealed. The weight of karma had made him distrustful of appearances, and though he didn’t quite understand human feelings, he recognized the worry within himself.

“Your skin is cold.” His voice was deep, as if he were facing an uncomfortable truth. He reached out again, hesitating for a moment before touching your wrist.

Yes, still cold. Too cold.

“It’s always been like this,” you said calmly, as if it were something insignificant.

Xiao narrowed his eyes. It didn’t make sense. You had mentioned that your affinity with your Cryo Vision was strong, but… even he, an adeptus, with his Anemo Vision and his almost immortal blood, didn’t have a body of inconstant temperature like yours. Was it possible that you were sick? Was it possible that…?

His thoughts immediately turned dark. What if it was his fault? His gaze descended to his own hands, hands that had shed too much blood, hands burdened with bad karma. Was it possible that his own corruption was affecting you in some way? That his presence was draining your life heat little by little?

“Xiao.” Your voice snapped him out of his spiral of worry. You looked at his tense expression and sighed softly. “Really. It’s nothing bad. It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t bother me. I’m just like this.”

But that wasn’t enough for him.

“Humans shouldn’t have such cold skin,” he insisted in a harsher tone than he intended. Frustration. Fear. Something inside him burned, like he was on the verge of losing something before he even understood what it was.

You laughed softly, an ethereal sound in the night. “And if I told you I’m not exactly human, would that reassure you?”

Xiao blinked. It was a joke. His amber eyes scanned you intently, searching for any sign of a lie. His jaw tightened.

“…No.”

His answer was immediate. No. It didn’t reassure him. Because even if you weren’t exactly human, you were still you.

And he, Xiao, was worried about you in a way that infuriated him, that made him feel helpless. He couldn’t ignore it. He couldn’t just let it go.

“So what will you do?” you asked with a hint of amusement in your tone. “Will you force me to warm up?”

It was a joke, of course, but Xiao considered it seriously for a moment. His brow furrowed further and he looked down at his own clothes, as if he was assessing how warm they would be compared to yours. Before he could do or say anything, you felt a light tug on your sleeve.

“Come.” His voice was softer now, but firm. Not an order, but not a request either.

Without a word, you followed. Xiao led you to the edge of the roof and, with his inhuman speed, descended with you to the balcony of a room in the Wangshu Inn. Inside, the warm light of a lantern illuminated the wooden walls.

“Stay here.” Xiao looked at you, his usual blank expression, but his eyes burned with something different. “I’m going to go get something.”

You watched him disappear in a flash of jade, and when he returned minutes later, he was carrying a small package wrapped in cloth. He handed it to you without saying anything.

You opened it curiously and inside you found a thick scarf of soft fabric, a deep color, with intricate embroidery. It didn't seem like something he just happened to have. You stared at him in disbelief.

"Xiao…"

"Use this." He looked away, crossing his arms as if trying to hide his discomfort. "You might not care, but I do."

For a moment, there was only silence between you. Then, you smiled, wrapping the scarf around your neck. It felt oddly comforting,

More for the gesture than for any warmth he could offer.

“Thank you, Xiao.”

He didn’t respond, but the blush at the tips of his ears was enough to give it away. And for that night, at least, Xiao could find some peace, knowing that, although he couldn’t completely dispel his concern, he could do something to show it.

[paracosmicka]

might be a somewhat awkward question, so feel free to ignore, but how do you usually go about drawing stuff like kissing and cuddling? i would be curious to know your process, because you always manage to portray that stuff as incredibly soft and.. vulnerable? if that makes any ounce of sense. sorry if it doesn’t TvT

No you’re all good this isn’t an awkward question at all! Actually this is kind of a fun ask to answer bc I wanna know if any other people have similar experiences to how I draw lol.

First off, wanna say that there’s a one specific song I’ve listened to religiously for the past 3 years, and it's also the song I listen to most often while drawing sonadow. I feel like it’s encompasses almost the entire range of human emotion while somehow also being able to match exactly to any single specific emotion on that range.

Typing this out now my feelings and experiences with the song might be a little biased because it’s part of the OST for Signalis (which is such an underrated game and especially the soundtrack), but I feel like even if you haven’t played the game it can still give you this melancholic atmosphere. But really it feels like….I feel like there are words to describe what i’m trying to say but I can’t think of any other than like, … an “ethereal comfort”.

Okay sorry about that ramble I just really wanted to give you some context and also I need more people to play Signalis. But anyway to answer your question:

My “Creative” Process: featuring symptoms of autism and insomnia

I like that people use words like “soft”, “intimate”, “tender” in the replies and stuff of my art because (while that is the intention behind a lot of my art) it makes me think about the actual process that took place while I was drawing and if that in anyway impacts the viewer interpretation.

I might have talked about this before on my blog, but if so I can’t remember. So I wanna ask any other artists (or actually just people in general) if they do this too or if it’s something Not Normal because it does concern me sometimes lol. Like it’s probably not that uncommon, but I’ve just never seen anyone talk about this before:

I always (like 90%) fall asleep while I draw, it’s never usually for long, sometimes I just doze off for like 5 minutes, but more often I get a lot of half-hour naps in. It most likely, probably, definitely, literally guarantee is because I do things that, maybe don’t encourage, but definitely make it easier to not stay awake. I listen to more calm music while drawing, all of my canvas templates absolutely cannot be white and instead have to be a warm color with both the saturation and brightness really toned down so it’s like a comforting hazy-yellow. I also have all the lights turned off in my room, especially in the day, because I hate the light-reflection on my iPad screen while I draw.

I know I just listed all those things I do like they were intentional but I only just recently realized I do this because someone pointed out how my background colors are always like a soft-yellow which is apparently not common and I was like “oh yeah I guess you’re right”.

So, to be honest, I’m not really sure how I do draw sonadow kissing and cuddling other than…I just do? I’m sorry I know that’s not very helpful 😭 Like, literally the only tip I can think of is “try to be really eeby and neebies to sleeby” while drawing soft gay hedgehogs, 10/10 doctors highly recommend and another cool perk: no nightmares (at least so far, I always get warm and nice dreams 💖)

I definitely like to use references tho lol. Kids, if you run out of Heartstopper clips or any other cute kissing scenes in your favorite movies and shows, don't be embarrassed to go on Youtube and search “makeout scenes” and watch almost all 300 videos in a playlist that definitely seems like it was created like a bot, because sometimes those are the only references you’re gonna get for kissing animations.

Well, I think that concludes this edition of Unnecessarily Long Dissertation Papers by Paracosm, thank you for the ask anon!!

OH ACTUALLY sorry for promoting another Spotify playlist but I made one specifically for Soft, Vulnerable, and Intimate Sonadow Vibes™️ because as much as I love using my regular sonadow playlist I needed one for pillow and blanky time. It’s got The Red Gate and a lot of other songs with similar vibes so here’s that if you wanna listen :3

WAIT SORRY ALSO???? A friend said that my playlist is the most liked sonadow playlist on Spotify apparently 😭 but I actually don’t know if that’s true I’m just surprised that people actually save it to their libraries (970 likes last time I checked I didn’t even know that many real human people were on Spotify) bc it’s like a million hours long and there is no consistency at all like the music genres will switch from borderline-hyperpop MGNA Crrrta to soft instrumental OSTs to the loud unidentifiable noises of Nero’s Day at Disneyland/Lauren Bousfield’s music.

Okay actually done talking now, I love answering asks because everyone is always so fucking nice and sweet I have teared up at times but because they make me feel so many things every time I sit down to answer one I probably use a good hour or two writing everything out and then quickly proofreading so that my one coworker that follows me on here won’t bully me in public for being an idiot.

But seriously tho, feel free to send me any asks you might have, you are literally never bothering me I love reading you guys’ messages 😭💖!! I wish I had more time to answer all of them but just know I check my inbox at least once a week and try to read all the new ones. My goal is trying to answer at least one a day, which doesn’t always happen but at the end of the week I always make sure to put myself in a Saw trap to answer at least a couple 💖 Seriously just thank you for all the support I feel like I don’t say it enough I love you guys and I love talking with you guys and I love how everyone here is so nice and we can all be cozy and enjoy our gay hedgehogs ☺️

[blondemrk]

✼ my fav moots thru my eyes ➹ ੈ♡‧₊˚

anna banana @chenlezip

↳ anna reminds me of cigarettes after sex—soft, melancholic, and unforgettable. shes like a film camera, capturing moments in a way that makes them feel timeless. and of course, she’s mark.. undeniably so. you really can’t forget the bunnies, especially hers—the absolute freaking cutest. shes the warmth of a single candle flickering in a dimly lit room, casting gentle shadows that feel like a hug. shes the quiet magic of footsteps crunching on fresh snow, the kind of sound that makes the world feel softer.

eri !!! @mrkified

↳ eri reminds me of studying in a cozy café, surrounded by the soft hum of conversations and the scent of coffee. shes effortlessly hardworking, the kind of person who makes diligence look graceful. shes tv on a late-night drive and ariana grande on a slow sunday morning—cool yet comforting. shes animal crossing on a rainy day, full of warmth and charm, and snoopy with his little dance, bringing joy in the simplest ways.she reminds me of polaroid pictures tucked into the corner of a mirror, the kind you don’t take to be perfect but to remember. she’s the feeling of stretching under a heavy blanket on a sunday morning, of taking the long way home just because the sky looks too pretty to ignore. she’s the warmth of a cat curling up in a sunbeam, completely at ease, knowing she belongs exactly where she is.

jojo!!! @narcisstict

↳ she reminds me of late-night conversations that leave you feeling both heavy and understood, the kind where the world outside feels distant, and only the words exchanged matter. she carries the weight of kindness like it’s second nature, offering warmth even when the world is cruel to her. she’s deftones playing through half-broken headphones, the sound of a flickering streetlight in an empty alley. she’s cigarette smoke curling into the cold night air, lingering like an unspoken thought. there’s something delicate about her, yet she’s endured more than most—like a match burning quietly, unwavering even as the wind tries to put her out.

gen !! @undomielsql

↳ gen reminds me of inside jokes that never get old, the kind that make you laugh until your stomach hurts, even if no one else understands. she carries humor like a secret superpower, turning even the dullest moments into something worth remembering. she’s frank ocean playing through the speakers of a car parked under neon lights, windows down, singing like no one’s listening. she’s the spark of a lighter in the dark, the way fire catches and glows before settling into something steady. she’s messy doodles in the margins of a notebook, a half-drunk iced coffee with too much sugar, a favorite hoodie that somehow always smells like home.

hua !! @polarisjisung

↳ hua reminds me of nostalgic songs playing from an old speaker, the kind that take you back to a time you can’t quite place, but somehow miss anyway. she’s the feeling of flipping through a worn-out journal, finding little notes and pressed flowers tucked between the pages, remnants of moments she refuses to let go of. she reminds me of mixtapes made with too much care, of postcards never sent but always meant to be, of polaroid pictures where the colors have started to fade. she’s the feeling of walking home under streetlights, shoes clicking softly against the pavement, lost in thought but never truly alone.

willow!!! @holyhaech

↳ willow reminds me of old rock music playing softly in the background, the kind of tunes that make you feel like you’ve been transported to another time—like a smoky room filled with vinyl records and worn-out guitar strings. she’s the perfect mix of deftones echoing through the air on a cold winter night, both haunting and beautiful, a sound that wraps around you like a blanket but still leaves a sense of mystery. she’s the way snow falls gently, covering everything in a quiet hush, the world feeling a little slower, a little more reflective. she’s the warmth of a crackling fire, the kind that dances with an orange glow but still keeps the air crisp, the way the chill of winter bites at your cheeks but feels oddly comforting when you’re bundled up.

hi guys im gonna do a part 2 i still have more of u guys to do!!!

[mcktub]

    a   slow   nod   of   her   head   followed   his   words   ,   the   sentiment   one   she   could   say   they   somewhat   shared   .   “   it   may   have   been   the   only   thing   i   𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓   𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄   when   i   first   moved   here   .   ”   she   confessed   with   a   𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒   and   short   laugh   ,   mimicking   the   way   he   said   it   .   maybe   he   had   no   interest   in   talking   about   any   of   that   ,   but   vivi   had   always   been   the   type   of   person   to   dive   𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃   𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓   into   deeper   conversations   to   avoid   the   pointless   small   talk   she   so   dreaded   .   it   definitely   drove   people   away   at   times   and   he   could   potentially   be   one   of   them   ,   but   she'd   rather   that   than   speak   of   the   𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑   .   a   little   melancholic   conversation   created   tight   bonds   ,   she'd   always   say   .   “   what   do   you   do   for   a   living   ?   let's   see   if   i   can   compare   it   to   something   𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘   as   stressful   in   your   field   .   ”   because   she   needed   her   references   to   be   understood   .   she   simply   offered   him   a   weak   smile   after   the   man   offered   viviènne   reassurance   on   speaking   freely   ,   the   feeling   like   a   breath   of   𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇 𝐀𝐈𝐑   that   blew   blonde   hair   off   her   shoulders   .   “   something   like   that   ,   yes   .   just   between   us   two   ,   this   was   meant   to   open   five   months   ago   and   i   wasn't   even   planning   on   𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   for   more   than   just   the   opening   night   .   it   would've   had   a   different   name   ,   decor   ,   menu   …   but   things   kept   going   wrong   and   more   often   than   not   i   thought   i   should   just   give   up   .   somehow   i   stuck   through   it   and   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐖𝐄   𝐀𝐑𝐄   .   ”

Isaiah considered excusing himself to go back inside, feeling a little guilty for possibly intruding on a peaceful moment for the other. He hesitated as the conversation continued, though. A soft smile made its way across his face as he nodded, "It may have been the first thing I came to love about this place when I first moved here, along with the views." There was quite a lot to love about this town, there was no denying that, he just wasn't in the right headspace to fully appreciate it initially outside of the more peaceful elements. Back then he was still wondering if he made the right decision, still mourning the close relationship he once shared with his father. "You're welcome. I can't imagine how stressful opening something like this must be." He wasn't sure if he'd ever taken a risk that came close to the risk of starting a business or opening a restaurant from scratch. He grew quiet, listening to the other speak. "It's quite alright, I did ask after all." And he wasn't just being polite with the question, he was genuinely checking on her. "I think I understand what you're saying, though. You're surprised you stuck with it?" He asked to make sure he was following her train of thought correctly.

[unapologeticallytheworst]

Guys it's okay for an ending to be sad.

[canisalbus]

So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.

I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)

Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.

Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.

The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.

Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.

Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.

Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.

.

[undercover-stories]

Love how mxtx designates her characters with weapons the same way Disney animators choose an animal sidekick for their princesses

[yepmadness]

“The Ghosts at the window echo all our quiet Prayers…”

Yeah so, there is definitely a theme of loss/grief this season, and the different ways of addressing and dealing with it. Of acknowledging it. And how it changes over time. These aren’t even all of them (clearly, I mean, Arthur died too—I’d count John understanding himself as like a rebirth) I just picked three I thought fit with the lyrics from “The Garden” by the Crane Wives.

[kismetconstellations]

[feroluce]

Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[velvetvexations]

There are a lot of things that suck about JKR and Harry Potter in retrospect, but while everyone knows by now about the goblins being disgustingly weird Jewish stereotypes I don't think I've seen anyone else express is that when I was younger I found the alternative moral framework of goblins to be interesting and inspired me to think a lot more about "blue-and-orange morality". Now that kinna thing is something I'm really big on in both my own work and in the works of others, but it really sucks having that original inspiration soured by not only the general awfulness the franchise has come to exude, but also that element in particular being one of the most blatantly gross things about it since it boils down to "fantasy Jews be greedy, am I right?".

[teamfortresstwo]

In a life swap AU rather than just a role swap I think it would be sooo fucked up if Patroclus swapped with Theseus and Achilles with Asterius