#and my brain just invents the most convoluted possible ways I could be interpreted in bad faith
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There are a lot of things that suck about JKR and Harry Potter in retrospect, but while everyone knows by now about the goblins being disgustingly weird Jewish stereotypes I don't think I've seen anyone else express is that when I was younger I found the alternative moral framework of goblins to be interesting and inspired me to think a lot more about "blue-and-orange morality". Now that kinna thing is something I'm really big on in both my own work and in the works of others, but it really sucks having that original inspiration soured by not only the general awfulness the franchise has come to exude, but also that element in particular being one of the most blatantly gross things about it since it boils down to "fantasy Jews be greedy, am I right?".
#I feel as though this reads like I'm virtue signaling as if to prove I don't hate Jews or something#after being asked to not say a particular word#but I really did just have this thought while thinking about HSH#and I've always been broadly melancholic about missing being a big Harry Potter fan#but this is one of those things where my NPD makes me catastrophize about how literally everything I say could be taken the wrong way#and my brain just invents the most convoluted possible ways I could be interpreted in bad faith#which is hard to talk about because I feel massively annoying even attempting to explain the paranoid delusions I obsessively entertain#harry potter
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omg ok. <3 thank you anon really i have procrastinated so hard for this, it’s brilliant.
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
pass. because the answer is 99% of the time something dumb, or something that only makes sense/means anything to me. or it sounds ridiculously tumblr hipster.
WAIT. the one where the doctor gets it on with a cube! day 34 was, of course, named for rule 34.
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
uhhhhh. would you all be happier not knowing this one? (i have not inserted a cube into my own rectum)
honestly, though, everything i write is either blatantly me superimposing my experiences onto other characters (the martha fic), or me taking my own experiences and turning the dial up to eleven (everything that makes your stomach turn). and the rest is just fantasy or what makes a good story.
i try to make sure everytime i write, i’m always informing my writing with what i’ve experienced or felt, and hopefully, dear readers, i can do it well enough that i make you feel those things too.
C: What member character do you identify with most?
hard question. depends on my mood!
when helping patients: martha when being a dork who needs to be kinkshamed: the doctor when socially anxious and grumpy: sherlock when dressed in my $800 armani waistcoat and silk tie and i’ve got two medieval torture implements and two suitcases of dissection equipment in the boot, but secretly i’m the sluttiest bottom that ever was: the master
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
yes - there are many, many of these. but the thing is, right, i think music is so personal, and what it means to you is so unique! all the songs that represent how the stories feel in my mind are just not gonna make much sense for yours. i’ve literally been writing horrific shit the last 3 days while listening to the moana soundtrack!!
some are blatant - i literally listened to that bingo song writing the puppy play fic. no joke. i preferred this incarnation of it. i’m all for that vhs nostalgia.
some are a bit more obscure, like the martha fic, which is named for a song that has a lot of personal meaning to me. i found it late into a really dark depressive period in my life and listening was the first time i’d felt enjoyment in months? so that song, to me, has come to mean dragging oneself out of an awful place and overcoming.
so, yes, many songs! but they won’t fit your interpretation - and i want you to find your own songs that fit yours. (i’m very partial to listening to some chopin while reading 10K+ of smut)
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
there’s only one fic i’ve written that i’d really, really wanna write a sequel for. and it is not published, and it involves some very nasty toilet kinks. the person who will murder me for having only half-written that sequel knows who they are.
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
hmmmMMmm. oh. i know.
many of the master’s lines in mediation - purely because some of them i literally angsted over for days. i wanted them all to be effortlessly punchy, charming, and utterly disgusting so you all can scream, clutch at yourselves, and go “I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT IW ANT YOU SO BAD��. so many of the plot points revolve around the master casually dropping a bombshell when he gets bored that they all had to be capital-P Perfect.
same with the banter in the stumpy!master fic - i enjoyed making the doctor as utterly impossible and scary and morally repugnant as possible, and the master walking a fine line between saying what we all wanna hear and keeping his wits about him.
don’t you just wanna hi-five the screen? SO satisfying to write.
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
gotta be start to finish. *shivers* otherwise i just write all the fun bits, and never want to write the slow, plot thickening, character-developing filler.
H: How would you describe your style?
i use many of these things: ,,,, ;; and the em dash. way too much. and then i use the same sentence structure literally over and over again.
um, evocative? i like to make the pacing, the language mirror the emotions - sometimes it’s minimalist, sometimes it borders on purple, but i want it to read like it feels. i wish i was one of those people where the words are invisible, the authorial voice is invisible and you’re just living the story - i don’t think i’m there. but that would be the #1 ideal.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
gratuitous, disgusting, bile-in-your-throat torture.
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
spoilers.
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
the one where jack tries to save the doctor from the man who gave him ptsd, tortured him in ways not even i could imagine, and killed almost everyone he loved and then discovers that the doctor’s in love with the same man - so he sacrifices every last piece of his own humanity to keep the doctor safe from that reality, until eventually, there’s nothing left of him to recognise when it all goes to shit.
yeah. dont think it gets angstier than that.
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
more times than there are words. i spend 70% of the time it takes to write revising, re-reading, tweaking, angsting.
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
YES. oh GOD, YES.
1. Extreme Couples Counselling: the doctor and the master are imprisoned and some very nasty things happen to them. they are forced to cling to each other to survive. in order for this to make any sense, the nasty things are extra ultra nasty. there is lots of crying, hugging, and the doctor being shit at actual medicine.
2. i don’t have a snappy name for this one, but basically i just...want to write the doctor and the master on adventures? mostly-canon-typical adventures? with lots of banter and ust?
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
PRAXIS. @VERSAPHILE I LOVE YOU, I REALLY DO, BUT PLEASE.
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
with a particularly gorgeous scene, and then a plot unfolds around it.
ok, now this is embarrassing, but bear with me: the original inspiration for mediation? i had some ridiculous idea where i wanted the master to insist that humans were rubbish, the doctor to be tragically upset about this, and jack deciding to cure world hunger by lopping off bits of him for food - cause they’d grow back! i wish i was making this the fuck up but i’m actually not
and somehow there was some long, convoluted plotting as to how this situation came to be, and it was that story that became mediation.
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
gardener. i have some main idea/concept/feeling that sparks a big story, but the actual meat of the story invents itself as i go along - usually six months of writing away from where i’m up to.
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
i bloody love them, and i’d love to do them, but i’m a lazy piece of trash and i do not finish anything
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
YES. YES, YES YES. oh my god. most of them are fic writers.
these are the writers that made my jaw drop and made me analyse them, front-to-back, to figure out why they were so good.
versaphile, shinelikethunder (tenlittlebullets), snowgrouse, tierfal, verabird, ariastar, violetisblue and jonquil, x-los, tearcreek, teyke, nemaline, beizy, pennypaperbrain, judasfm, and i don’t know who wrote this but holy shit. there are many more - SO many more. many of them are from the good ol days of doctor/master fandom. they all take my breath away.
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
anything that carries a rape/noncon and graphic depictions of violence tag. i cannot physically not click.
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
high. school. au. rubbish and sexist a/b/o.
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
pick any three off that list above, and i bet they’ll all get the same praise from me: when i read their stories, the world literally ceases to exist and i hold my breath until i’ve finished.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
*happy sigh* very rarely do i ever want to write fanfiction of someone else’s fic - mostly because if they impress me i’m 95% sure i cannot possibly do it justice!!! i’d be too embarrassed to tell you who and what i’ve had ideas for!
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
specific ones. i play a bit fast and loose with them anyway - and the specific ones make my brain work.
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
ha. um, tenth doctor. lil prick deserves it. he cannot suffer enough.
Y: A character you want to protect.
JACK AND IANTO. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT, BUT HONESTLY. THE ENDING MUST BE HAPPY.
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?
uh, yes. i do read it. i write it. mostly because the character death i enjoy are the characters whose death is impermanent (regeneration sex. i mean, that is the best fanfic kink ever invented. and then there’s jack.)
i really dislike character death just as tragedy with no redemption/undoing/saving them, it makes me too sadddd
#writing#fanfiction#writing meta#for future reference#i probably enjoy talking about myself too much#or i just really really do not want to do my work#i really wish i was making the waistcoat thing up#oh gawd#i think i need a tag for#fic research#because half my life seems to be in pursuit of fic
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