#FUCKING STOP BLOCK THE PEOPLE BLOCK THEM
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Stop reposting hate posts Stop Reposting Hate Posts. STOP REPOSTING HATE POSTS. STOP SPREADING THE HATE JUST TO RAGE AT THE POST. YOU ARE FORCING THESE POSTS ONTO PEOPLES DASHES WHEN MANY MAY HAVE BLOCKED THEM. STOP REPOSTING THEM FOR FUCKS SAKE.
#text#aro#ace#aroace#aromantic#asexual#tagging those because ppl keep reposting the discourae posts and like STOP#FUCKING STOP BLOCK THE PEOPLE BLOCK THEM#YOU ARE SPREADING THEIR HATE TO MORE PPL#YOU ARE CONTINUING THE DISCOURSE#DO NOT GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY
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Ok, look at me real quick because I'm tired of explaning this to full grown adults. You can NOT support generative AI and still claim to care about artists and writers in the fandoms you participate in. So that means if you spout pro generative AI rhetoric, and it gets you ostracized that is NOT the community or fandom being unfair or cruel to you. That is simply the conciquences of your own actions. Full stop.
#most of yall know this perfectly well and I love you for that.#please note that does not mean we go around bullying and threatening people who use AI.#that won't change their mind it will just give them a warped sense of justification.#block them and move on#because you know what hurts them worse then yelling at them?#making it so they cant see or interact with the real artist's who sustain these spaces.#It's a loanly world for those who choose to fuck around and find out.#fandom#stop ai#anti ai
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cannot believe i gotta say this but please don't follow me if you're comfortable selfshipping with canon racists. i don't care if you headcanon them as otherwise, because if their racism against a real group of people is a key facet of their character (much less incredibly important to the telling of the story that this character is a racist) then i do not wanna see it. this is not the safe space for you
#jay's jots#vaguepost about someone f/oing a hugely anti-romani character in the tags. i'm so fucking tired man#THIS IS ABOUT NAZI F/OS TOO WHILE WE'RE HERE STOP FUCKING F/OING CANON NAZIS#NOT AN INVITE FOR DISCOURSE BTW if you come in my notes to rebuttal this you're getting blocked#''but austin you have problematic f/os'' sorry i don't view unrealistic horror villains on par with realistic levels of racism#i don't wanna fucking hear it this is the line i am drawing. i don't care if they aren't real#you can in general find interest in characters like that especially bc it's good to deconstruct how bigots act and whatnot#but you don't have to f/o them??? you don't have to f/o every character you think is interestingly written??? oh my god???#a note on this reminded me to write here that i turned off rbs for my own sanity#getting people mad at me for having a boundary when this post broke containment was NUTS
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I’m actually scared of alienating some of my followers and moots with all the trans discourse I’ve been steeping quietly in and contemplating, but… I’m trying to not let being scared shut me up about this. That, in and of itself, is erasure and silencing.
Fuck staying quiet. Trans men and mascs deserve a voice, and we, as a group, are not oppressing or invalidating anyone else by using that voice. (Obviously there are shithead exceptions!! Anyone can be an asshole.)
I really hope that if I ever speak about any of this in the future, that people recognize that it’s not ever, ever trans femininity as a concept I have an issue with. It’s people who
- try to divide the community
- are reinventing gender essentialism from the ground up but make it trans
-police other people’s identities and decide for them what oppression they must face because of a tiny set of superficial traits
- simply. Don’t understand what intersectionality means.
- disregard and invalidate anyone who doesn’t fit a very specific (binary, rich, white, abled, flawlessly passing) idea of what it means to be trans.
None of those things are specific or exclusive to one identity. There just happens to be a community of transfems who are currently espousing many of these ideas as gospel. They are understandably defensive because of real actual transmisogyny they face. But other trans people are not your enemy. Accusing anyone and everyone who tries to point these flaws out as radical transmisogynists is simply not true. Pointing out bigotry is not bigotry in itself.
I don’t want the trans community to constantly be at each other’s throats. We each have to sit down and think if we ever catch ourselves blaming an entire other marginalized group for our issues. That’s just fascism babes.
#I don’t remember who and I’m sorry if this was you#but I saw a LOOOOOONG time mutual put a post sewing transfem v masc discourse and I just#can we not. we all have issues. why don’t we like… help each other with them instead of proving x or y have it ~worse~#but also for real the threats of violence and anti masculinity ‘jokes’ going around have really been getting to me#fucking. stop it. *bap bap bap bap bap bap* it’s not feminism to ascribe negative traits to an entire group of people#it’s not woke to put down an entire identity.#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#trans discourse#trans#trans unity#transfeminism#if anyone calls a tme theyfab over this post I’m launching into the sun#good bye guys. going to step into traffic and get isekaid to eorzea where I can live with my beautiful transgender catgirlboy husbandwife#my post#hopefully this doesn’t start *too* much shit because I’ll be for real I’ve blocked half the people on these tags#this started as a thing addressing those moots though so. my target audience is not blocked lmao#me: has political opinions also me: DONT HATE ME IM NORMAL I SWEAR#I mean. fuck being normal. just not bigoted. I’m just tired of being the butt of every joke#and being blamed for something I had less than nothing to do with
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hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.
yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.
because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.
but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.
because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."
and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.
is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.
just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.
#eliot posts#suicide mention#animal abuse mention#i guess#ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post#i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often#i frequently block people for saying it#sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too#i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression#but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.)#and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness#and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them#and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys#so yeah! fucking stop it!
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I hate AI. You wanna see your favorite character say something? Here
Dick Grayson: Hi, Don't use AI to make me say things. I'm literally a fictional character, just think.
Look at that Nightwing himself told you not to! Want another?
Dean Winchester: AI is fuckin' stupid, nothing can fake being a human on my watch.
Wow, amazing!
Support the actual humans in your fandom.
#ai#fuck ai#why does ai get to write and do art and create music while some real people cant? why is ai talking over human leasure activities?#why cant ai work for us instead of talking our creativity?#if you write a fanfic that is all one block of text with no plot and horrible spelling its better some bs chat gpt 'wrote’#dc comics#robin#dick grayson#nightwing#dean winchester#jensen ackles#supernatural#support human artists#support human writers#support fanfic writers#anti ai#some of you are getting a little too chummy with AI#🗞stop🗞using🗞AI🗞#even the most mediocre human art is better then ANYTHING AI can 'create'#'bUt i WaNt tO aCtUaLly tAlK tO tHeM.' go find a roleplay account
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Whenever I think the Agatha fandom couldn’t possibly get any weirder, I just log onto twitter and see the actually insane things people will tweet out of their own free will.
What do you mean you took a picture of a stranger’s ass and posted it online without their consent?
What do you mean you publicly make super weird and parasocial and honestly really gross remarks about Kathryn and other cast members just to get likes and attention?
What do you mean you stalk the cast online because you have no shame or sense of boundaries?
The obsession with AI in fics and fanart, being super weird to Joe Locke, turning a blind eye to a cast member’s Zionism as well as her being a Depp apologist because you think she’s attractive, overall acting like a Salem Seven hive mind type of group. Just weird fucking behavior.
#Agatha all along#agathario#it’s always the same offenders too and just when I think I’ve blocked them all boom another player enters the chat#I also get loving a show and loving the cast#but you do not know these people and they do not know you#also stop fucking taking pictures of strangers in public especially of someone’s ass like who the fuck raise you people#freak behavior tbh 🫶🏻#I could go on about how it’s one particular side of the fandom doing this but it’s kinda obvious who it is lmao#also idgaf if ‘that’s just stan twitter’ you’re being fucking weird#also I’m not done yet some agathario stans are biphobic as HELLLLL and that is coming from a lesbian
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i think at this point kon fans who dont give a shit about bernard dowd deserve financial compensation
#rimi talks#every day i look at tags. and i really should stop giving people the bennies of the doubt#but i see a blacklisted post and i go ''well maybe they just mentioned the thing i blacklisted but theyre saying they also dont like it?''#so i click on the view post button. and then its exactly why i blacklisted the thing. and i sigh and have to block them#and you'd think at some point i'd just learn and go if theres a post mentioning that man in the kon tag i should just block op instantly.#that ones on me i know. but also. can any of you pick up superboy comics i am fucking begging#anyways. not to be a pretentious gatekeeper or elitist snob or whatever#but people who refuse to engage with media or characters beyond who theyre shipped with/common ship tropes are so annoying god bless.
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Also for the millionth time, your DNI isn't a fucking boundary so how about you block people instead of being entitled and expecting everyone to read your little list that you yourself can't even follow.
#discourse#rant#anti dni#just fucking block people#stop expecting them#to read a list#and get mad at them#for NOT reading it#people shouldn't be expected to#go to your profile and read your pinned#or whatever the fuck#just to make sure their very existence doesn't#fucking upset you#before they like#or reblog a post#the internet used to be chill#y'all are fucking#ruining it with your#dumb entitled shit#shut the fuck up and use#the block button#you immature asshat
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tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.
(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)
and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.
tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.
(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)
and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.
(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)
and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly
and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves
(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)
but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.
#what the fuck is this#the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses#into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra#anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely#also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from#but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed#also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that#they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history#and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world#maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat#together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've#understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious.#maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both.#i need to lay down. im going crazy#as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!!#bernard dowd#dc#tim drake#timbern#timber
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Jason Todd's timeline and "Age"
So, there's a lot of discussion of Jason Todd's age esp as relative to other sidekick vigilantes, particularly Tim and Mia. I believe the exact words are usually something about a "grown ass man beating up/trying to kill teenagers."
DISCLAIMER: This particular post is specifically regarding the "grown ass man vs teenagers" statement, I have posts regarding the "tried to kill them" portion and other stuff like "seriously Jason Todd is like being shot by a marshmallow gun compared to what goes on directly before and after him in these incidents, also you don't bitch about the right stuff, also a lot of you prop up characters who are Objectively Worse, and no that's not hate on your fave it's just me calling out hypocrisy". It just takes time to find digital copies of the panels I'm using. NOTE I AM NOT JUSTIFYING HIS ACTIONS. I'm just saying y'all blow it out of proportion for petty character hate. Like, shit, they're superheroes. Jason's soooo fuckin' tame. He's not even framed as a big deal to the teens it's only the adults that think it's that much of a problem.
Courtesy readmore post cut:
Now, to start off, we all know Jason died at 15 & a few months off from 16 (if you want me to dig up panels, sure, but I figured at this point that wasn't in question). Tim at this point is somewhere between 12-13, and we have this panel in Lonely Place of Dying which takes place a few months later:
So that's a ballpark of 2-3 years between Jason and Tim.
But Tim's age is really fucky and they keep de-aging him tbh. We can extrapolate that his confrontation with Jason was between the ages of 16-17 bcs it's after the arc where he has his incredibly shitty 16th birthday in Robin Vol2 #116 and before Red Robin where he's stated to be 17. This would put Jason between 18-19 at the time. (If you really want me to find panel sources for Tim's birthday and his age in RR then, sure, but I don't think they're necessary. I used it more as a guidepost for Jason's age, since we have a clear idea of what the age gap is.)
At least, on paper.
Mia for her part I've had a hard time finding like, on panel mentions of her age and if anyone can direct me to it being explicitly stated I'd love that. I'm rereading old comics but it's a LOT of comics to hunt down & dig through. To my understanding she was fifteen when Ollie first met her, and there's at Minimum of about a year and a half between that to her meeting Red Hood, more likely at least two? because there's at least few months between that and her joining the Titans, the Doctor Light stuff, then One Year Later, and then returned to Star some 3 months after Ollie came back to run for mayor? And then Jason not too long after. So, two years feels safe. Puts her at 17-ish, Jason at 19-20
Once again, I specify: on paper.
People would happily point out at this point that the upward stretch of a 4 year age gap is a "huge gap in maturity." And yeah, under normal circumstances, I'd agree.
But, and this is going to get contradictory bcs I found Two different timelines (BOTH written by Winick, lmao), and depending on how you read it it could be up to three different possibilities. Let's Start with Batman Annual #25: Daedalus & Icarus.
Timestamp before Jason's resurrection, which is pretty well known at this point:
Next, him waking up from a coma afterwards, when he escapes the hospital:
Now the above could be interpreted as either 1 year after he died if we're assuming that it's using the same "start" point to count as the resurrection (unlikely), or one year after he came back (more likely).
Next, the timestamp right before a guy recognizes him and sells him out:
And, finally, the timestamp before being put in the Pit:
That is, count it up, between 3-3 1/2 years where Jason was dead, in a coma, or otherwise not particularly... cognizant of the world around him. His ass is NOT developing emotionally, socially, or mentally like this, which pretty handily bridges the gaps there. Taken at face value, Jason's maturity level is going to be, unironically, younger than Tim's in the wake of these setbacks.
Now, if we go to Lost Days issue 1, it doesn't specify how long he was dead, nor how long he was in a coma, so we'll just carry those two over, what we DO have is this from just after Talia brought him home:
This puts him as being on the streets for five months, so we're at just shy of two years so far. And then we have this:
Which is right before Talia puts him in the Pit.
So, in summary: 6 months dead, 1 year coma, 5 months on the street, and something like 1-1 1/2 years with the League which...
Actually puts us on almost the exact same timeframe either way. 3 to 3 1/2 years. It just changes whether Jason was on the streets or with the League for longer.
And is utterly incomprehensible because comic timelines are a freaking nightmare.
If we're being generous, then that would put Jason at a minimum of 19, maybe toeing the line of 20 for UTRH, again, on paper, because like hell are you convincing me he did less than a year's worth of training abroad throughout Lost Days. Yeah maybe they trained him in fighting while he was catatonic, muscle memory and all that. But the other teachers that we KNOW of? The bombs, guns, probably something to get him up to date on handling all that tech we see him using, Egon, potentially arguably All-Caste if you want to draw from n52...
but you'd have to knock at least a year and a half off of his internal/personal development from death & coma, at minimum. Maybe you could argue he was somewhat developing while in his "the lights are on, but nobody's home" phase, you can't say it's at the same level as a normal person might when going about their day to day life, and it's difficult to measure. But he's not hitting the kind of milestones that he should be for his age. I wouldn't put him at anything less than two years behind. So if we use our upper estimates on Jason, and lower estimates on both the developmental setbacks and Tim/Mia's ages that gives us:
Jason toeing 20, mentally 18, fighting Tim at 16. 2 year gap, kind of stretching the physical age gap if we assume Tim had just barely turned 13 when he showed up to be Robin. - OR LESS
Jason maybe 21, mentally 19, fighting Mia at 17, two year age gap again. Honestly, still not that big of a difference - OR LESS
And, to be frank, that's not even counting the mental development issues that come from the intense physical trauma from dying - and I swear to fuck don't give me the "He's not the only one who died he's not special" speech.
HOW MANY OF THE OTHERS YOU'RE USING AS A GOTCHA LOST, *GESTURING AGGRESSIVELY ABOVE*, LITERALLY MULTIPLE YEARS OF THEIR LIFE.
Not counting adults, of course. Barry lost years, Hal lost years, Ollie I think also lost a couple years? but A) they came back still adults, bodies pretty much the same. B) While Jason's body didn't go through a magic growth spurt in canon, it did still grow esp while with the League.
I'll eventually get around to Titan's Tower & GA#72 (tbh, there are other people who've already done Titan's Tower and it'd probably be better than what I do, so I'm more going to focus on the latter, but there IS a specific part of the former that drives me nuts that I don't see brought up a lot), and maybe if we're feeling spicy all my issues with UTRH starting with how Winick is just as guilty of retroactively writing Jason as being inherently a bad penny since his Robin days as any of the other "modern" writers. Like, bud, Severe enough Head Trauma is legitimately enough to change someone's personality, not to mention trauma. It wouldn't hurt your narrative for that eerie difference, the Shade of What Once Was if you're really going for RH being Like that.
Final addition: I swear to god if you use my post to start up some kind of petty-ass ship war or flame other characters I will immediately turn off reblogs and replies I am Not Dealing With That Shit, please and thank you.
Anyways, @glitter-stained, your interest made me decide to actually put the work in now to pull it up rather than passively gather stuff to dump whenever discourse pushes me over the edge so, here ya are. Looks like you did have it closer on the mark than I did.
#dc#Jason Todd#I guess#because frankly I'm sick of this. Learn to use content filters and grow up.#Typically I try to practice what I preach and I'm very liberal with filters and blocking ppl. But Sometimes Temptation Seizes Me#Note that I'm trying to be rather Watsonian with my technicalities but I've got the Doylist angles in my head too.#Stop using a character as a gotcha to shame people you're not endearing anyone#Mia is a genuinely really good character and trying to sell her as a better alternative while bashing the characters ppl do like#does not fucking work you idiots.#Have you never worked in sales? it's Sooooo easy to spin#“Hey do you like this character for x & y & z? I have another GREAT character you'd love and has the benefit of ALSO being Q.”#positive reinforcement is always a more effective recruitment tactic than haterism#I'm already regretting this#I decided not to tag the other two bcs at this point I expect any tagged post to get messy and adding them is just inviting it to be worse
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I was a strong spectator of the teratophilia community here on Tumblr before The Great Porn Ban and there's been a huge hole in my heart since it was dissolved, but I've slowly been rediscovering the community over on Bluesky and it's been wonderful. I need to make a terato page on my website, I think
#textpost#Lately I've been losing steam for working on GG related projects#I've relaunched my Patreon and have been working on making a dragon book that's going to have stories and illustrations in it#On top of that I've been playing Neopets and games like Granblue Fantasy and Vampire Survivors and Doom#I've been playing Strive quite a bit too now that my pc can actually run it lol#But my drive to work on translations and things isn't as strong as it was in 2022 and 2023#The vibe in the fandom shifted dramatically after Bridget and Elphelt got added#On top of the Bedman shit and people constantly trying to drag me into stupid petty drama I don't give a fuck about#I think there are a lot of annoying people in the fandom now that argue over dumb meaningless things constantly#and I just don't really care enough to want to engage with it at the depth I was anymore#I'm not like retiring from Guilty Gear or anything lol I just don't feel like doing things for it as much as I was#People are always sending me bait asks or doing things after I tell them not to like they think they're being cute/funny or something#Like just block me and stop acting like a high schooler in my notifs#I have no qualms about blocking people for being obnoxious#I'm too old for this shit#Anyway monster dick am I right
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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I don't believe liking immoral and downright evil characters says anything about you as a person, but I think acting like this definitely does.
"The HH fanbase will defend Valentinoto the moon and back" this and "Val is praised by a majority of the fandom" that, except said majority of the fandom fucking HATES that moth and fans have been harassed, had their art scribbled on to "fix" it, repeatedly called "rapist apologists" and "abuse romanticisers", get questioned or accused about condoning him irl, received graphic death/rape threats and are in general mistreated by the fandom. A Val cosplayer was mistreated and had a gun pulled on them IN REAL LIFE not even a year ago. Even the VA got repeatedly asked or assumed to be like the character he plays because "why else would he want to voice a rapist??" and told they deserve for choosing that role (fucking WILD btw). People that like Valentino as a character are the minority of the fandom, and even there NO ONE defends him. We all realise he's a disgusting individual whose actions shouldn't be defended in any capacity. What kinda bullshit lie is that?
I'm also in the Mouthwashing fandom, and it too has a bunch of issues. Infantilising Curly and minimising his actions, making Swansea to be better than he actually is and ignoring that he knew of the SA, people still debating or not realising that Jimmy raped Anya in the first place, shipping Jimmy and Curly (which isn't even a bad thing or a real problem but this person would see it that way), ect. But sure, conveniently don't bring that up. Anything for the Hazbin Hotel hate, right 💀
These next comments especially piss me off (nevermind how they're talking about an abuse survivor which is gross already). This might be a hot take and I don't care if that's the case, but I think people refusing to call Jimmy by name and excluding him from the cast is not show of a "good" fandom, actually. Jimmy has a lot more to him besides being a rapist. Rape culture, toxic masculinity, capitalistic exploitation, misogyny, male dominance-- there's sooo much more to explore and discuss about his character besides him being a rapist. And he's an incredibly disturbing character in a fucking horror game. If you can only refer to him by some stupid nickname (which takes away the seriousness of his character imo), ignore the significance of his role and themes in the story and the rest of his character and reduce him to a single trait that's BAD. That's not a good thing, and in fact, probably makes you worse than the people that do like his character because they can at least separate fiction and reality and not scrap well written disturbing characters for the sake of "comfort" or moral standing (again, in a horror game of all things). People shouldn't feel bad for liking Jimmy because he's a very good character, and ignoring that completely and acting like there aren't people who could like him... kinda sucks?
Moving over, Valentino is not and has NEVER been portrayed in a positive light in the show. I can't wrap my head around people that genuinely think that. Whenever I hear people say that the arguments I always see are "he shouldn't be attractive" and "he's just a cartoon villain" and "he acts silly and quirky even tho he's a rapist" among other things, and I don't think these people realise they're spouting eugenics bullshit and demonstrating that they don't know anything about his character simultaneously. No, Valentino isn't a "positive" portrayal of a rapist because he's attractive (way to tie morality to appearance btw). No, Valentino isn't a positive portrayal of a rapist because he acts goofy and funny and silly. Those traits are intentional and important to his character. Val is the Overlord of lust and depravity, hell's most famous pimp. His beauty is how he lures in unsuspecting sinners, and his personality is how he gains their trust and gets them to sell their souls for him to exploit (notice how Angel signed his soul away willingly). He's supposed to be appealing. He's supposed to be charming. He's entire persona is meant to be disarming. If he were like Jimmy or just a one-note unlikeable guy, his position in the show and his relationships with the characters wouldn't make sense, so he isn't. That doesn't make him a more positive portrayal or anything, it just means he's more fleshed out and written more complex than you want him to be. He's a very real depiction of an abuser, of their two-faced nature and how being attractive and charming to others doesn't make you less of an abusive monster to someone else. For context, I have been abused by someone extremely similar to Val, so his depiction feels very real to me and it's extremely tiring seeing a bunch of assholes who have probably not even seen the show or have been abused act like he's "romanticised" or "unrealistic" or "bad" simply because he was written by Vivziepop (who's ALSO an SA survivor like what is wrong with you 💀).
This is a broader point and not entirely related to this specific case, but we don't give people shit like this over people liking murderers and serial killers-- acting like all a sudden liking a rapist character says something negative about their writing or about the people that like them is INCREDIBLY stupid. People don't talk like this about Alastor and Vox-- who are both VERY despicable people. Both of them are also abusers among other horrible things, but they're not (or at least Alastor isn't) rapists so they're "not as bad". This is a sentiment I see all the time in both the fandom and hatedom whenever Valentino discourse comes back up, and this line of logic that rapists are a unique evil that can't be liked as characters in fiction but murderers and cannibals and serial killers are totally Ok is so dangerous and backwards. Liking evil characters says nothing about you as a person aside from the fact that you're a freak in the fun way. Liking evil characters but then going after others who do as well because you consider their character "too evil" and watering down the crimes of yours to justify liking them says a lot about you tho. Saying that the characters you like says something negative you in general does too.
We seriously need to stop bringing morality into fiction and saying that "normal" people wouldn't like certain immoral characters. We need to stop ostracising people for their "problematic" ships, proudly brag about ostracising them and justify it by calling them "weirdos". We need to stop saying villains are "badly written" because they're not written how YOU want them to be written, regardless of whether or not that opinion is valid (which in this case it isn't). We need to stop putting fandoms in some weird competition with each other about how characters are written and spit on people who actually enjoy them, are comforted by them or felt seen by them (gestures at the whole Angel dust situation barely a week ago). And honestly we need to stop giving attention to people like this, who spread a false narrative and kick others down for being fans of a media they don't like or know squat about for whatever reason. Who spread lies about the media or fandom in question in way that's blatantly in bad faith.
This crappy post is sitting a 17k while I'm typing this. The way people can just say ANYTHING about Hazbin Hotel and its fandom-- doesn't matter if it's valid or true or if they watched the show or know anything about the fandom at all, it just has to be negative-- and others will eat it up no questions asked needs to be studied at this point. We saw that in the months the show first aired. We saw that with the Angel Dust video. We're seeing this again here. I don't think we should be harassing anybody over fiction and in general (and needless to say don't harass any of these people) but calling out bad actors who pull shit like this more often and making it uncool to shittalk Hazbin Hotel and its fandom (and any fandom from unapologetically dark media where the people deal with enough bullshit already) for no reason and in bad faith is a change I'd be down with. Like, wash your mouth of its name and disappear into the shadow realm, goddamnit.
#hazbin hotel#mouthwashing#hazbin hotel valentino#jimmy mouthwashing#hazbin hotel angel dust#fandom discourse#fandom discussion#head in my fucking hands#on that note this is the straw that breaks the camel's back for me i'm going private and then on a blocking spree again#i'm so sick of seeing these people whenever their posts blow up like go away and stay gone#“hh fans defend val” “angel dust is bad rep” “the rape is just a fetish” shut the FUCK up oh my god just shut up all of you 💀#i'm so sick and tired of seeing that all the time if you can't fucking read for shit then say so stop making stuff up#i'm sorry for being so harsh kinda but i've seen 1000 too many people repeating that stupid drivel#what upsets me even more is that almost every val fan i've encountered is an abuse survivor themselves and they already treated so horribly#so seeing people who aren't even in the fandom lie that they “defend” his actions and making it easier to be shitty to them is... uggggghhh#ugh it's so gross and i hate how people just agree with them because it's hazbin hotel specifically like uugghh#i woke up to this my page and my tired ass felt petty enough to write this down as a response cuz actually fuck that noise#especially seeing the comments on that post like god i know i should love my neighbour but said neighbours are making it so difficult#does any of this even make sense i wrote this on the fly without planning it beforehand#whatever i'm really tired so pardon any grammar mistake i'll get them later maybe#momento rambles
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suffocating
I’m doing the dishes again
Staring into the water
At that boy
How can I call myself a girl when the face that stares back
Is just another random boy
You’d see playing on a subrban corner
My name isn’t my name
People don’t call me by my name
I’ve been cut off
From everyone
If I died tonight
Nobody would notice
Just another kid
Just another teen suicide
It’s better than the alternative
To suffocate in this form
Would be preferable
To living in a world where nobody sees me
It’s better than the alternative
#ok so a lot of context behind this one#first off: I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF#anyway now that that's out of the way#my parents have blocked my tumblr and discord so I can't talk to anyone except during the ten minutes they give me to post my poems#and they have taken away my phone#so I am utterly alone#and my dysphoria has been hitting so hard recently#and I can't talk to fellow trans people because all my shit is gone#and irl all my trans friends stopped talking to me and hate my fucking guts#and I'm going back to school soon where I have to deal with them and my ex (who I saw today which destroyed me emotionally)#and my sister keeps asking about all that and violating my privacy and she justifies it because I apparently have been a dick to her all my#life when I haven't and have been trying to just be a good person#and I had a panic attack while doing the dishes and I couldn't let anyone see my tears and that's what this poem is based off#so uhh#yeah...#lifes shit#my parents are going to be the death of me#/hj#poetry#poem#original poem#shitty poetry
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