#FIRST OF ALL TELL ME WHY:
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(preface: im the most sensitive bastard you'll ever meet)
if you haven't cried your eyes out while listening to the 'four out of five' outro with your headphones on full volume in the car during a long drive at night YOU JUST HAVENT EXPERIENCED WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ALIVE OKAY
#no seriously that outro just- it feels like an ache in my chest#because its just so fecking incredible to the point where it physically hurts 😭#its not even like- sad. like i dont cry at sad songs. i cry when songs just sound too good#idk i think some of my wires might be a bit crossed when it comes to audio processing#ANYWAY IM RAMBLING#FIRST OF ALL TELL ME WHY:#the four out of five outro brings a tear to my eye#IS ALREADY A TAG OF MINE??#maybe its just my sheer infatuiation with tbh+c and that whole undercurrent of grief because like- its meerly a creative projection#maybe they injected pure morphine into the outro I DONT FECKING KNOW#it just- it hits. alot. too much you might say.#counting myself as a lucky bastard for getting to hear it live 🙏#four out of five#tbh+c#tranquility base hotel and casino#alex turner#arctic monkeys
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Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave
#the first time it happens he's just like oh whoops that'll be awkward#the second time: well that's not ideal#the third time: fucking hell why did i make a persona that cant keep it in his pants#Clark angsting about why his best friend doesn't trust him enough to tell him his secret identity:#:( why doesn't he trust me after all we've been through together#bruce: i have fucked too many people here including you and you can never know#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc#mine
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something about first impressions idk
bonus:
#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#just gonna end up redrawing all of first class at this point just watch#this was the thing i was drawin when my cmoputer freaked. i miss the other charles i doodled </3 i liked it a lil more but oh well#hiiiii i just finished watching speak no evil ..... really good movie me thinks .... james mcavoy still has incredibly bright eyes#ill never be over how theyre so blue no matter the lighting. hence why we're gathered here today jLAjaelvk#like thatd simply be all i could think about if i got wrangled out of my revenge murder plan by this man#this was a goofy impromptu thing cause im still blanking on bigger stuff but this was still silly and fun to doodle#also can anyone tell i really like drawing profiles ... cause i do ....#ok im sleepy goodnight
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I always have a soft spot for characters who have a protective streak for another out of gratitude for their kindness towards them, but Charles’ protectiveness towards Edwin really hits a particular way because it’s so so apparent that it’s specifically about wanting Edwin to feel as safe and as comfortable around him as Edwin made Charles feel in his dying moments. I’m going to shatter like glass.
#and this is exactly why I think the cat king thing bothered Charles so much#‘why isn’t he talking to me? doesn’t he know ive got his back? what could be so bad that he wouldn’t tell me?’#and the devlin house completely uproots his sense of ‘goodness’ and makes it all compound into#‘maybe I’m not a good person and maybe that’s why I can’t help my friends properly’#:(#no further proof is needed that Edwin feels safest with Charles over anyone else#when his first reaction after finally figuring out his feelings for Charles is to immediately want to confess to him#even though he’s scared. he trusts Charles that much that he has to try and tell him right away.#gah. they’re so sweet.#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#storyrambles#dbda spoilers#random thoughts
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#simon petrikov#BMO#this is seriously fucked up u cant do this to me im so sadSNSSN#IMAGINE BEING BMO#just one day finn and jake say they'll brb and they're going on a important mission...#and BMO after this and them being gone for awhile just see's the world go into peril#death everywhere. no sign of his friends expect remnant's of the past..#and the only survivor is them...#no other's expect the thing who released hell upon this once lively and colorful world in the first place.#and BMO just accept's this...tells themselves that they're still around...cosplay's as they're old friend's...this is fucked up#in the current timeline all his friend's are gone to natural circumstances.#but for this one? it was too early. too sudden. atleast in this one BMO will remember they're name's but...man.#this poor lil robo cant get a BREAK.#AND THEY FUCKING DIE IN SACRIFICE AT THE END TOO SHUTUPPPDPDPDPD#and the fact BMO also consider's “jerry” a friend...not knowing...that the same person caused all this.#this is...SO FUCKED UP#WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.
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This scene is always in my mind
They make me sick get them out of my head NOW!
#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#my roman empire#I think about this all the time#i'm gonna be sick#i'm gonna throw up#I want what they have#you're telling me they weren't playing this as a romantic scene? lies. one of the most romantic things I've ever witnessed#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#star trek a taste of armageddon#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#james t kirk#jim kirk#captain kirk#spirk#not art#video#get them out of my mind now this scene has been on replay since 2020#You're telling me this isn't supposed to have romantic undertones. You're telling me this is a normal heterosexual not at all romantic#conversation between a captain and his first officer.#why did he say it so lovingly#one of the most romantic scenes in any media ever#s01ep23#I think
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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STRASBOURG 2023
#the band ghost#papa emeritus iv#copia#first time i've been able to sit down and make something for a few weeks which is nice. was worried i'd forgotten how to gif.#these do not do justice to this video tbh#tell me why i could just watch him BREATHE for hours#it looks like he's smiling and i just??? despite how obviously exhausted he is he looks so at peace?? i am not okay#anyway hello!! sorry it's been a minute!! i've been going through it and ugh. life is lifeing friends.#but i love and miss you guys and i hope you're all ok <3 pls accept these gifs as a token of my affection#and an apology to anyone i haven't got back to recently. i'll be with you shortly. just gotta remember how to exist first.#brb#my gifs
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Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him#I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them#like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full#his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭#if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does#me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill#Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is)#he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations#something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that#Mikey tells people what they need to hear#Leo tells people what they want to hear#not only out of his own agenda either#when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother#even if he would have rather bullhop left#meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is#small character moment that means a lot to me#Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings#Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction#but he is easily cowed by guilt#regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade#and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want#I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED)#the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway#there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!!#literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest#no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here
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#more ears under the cut#sprigatito#welcome to GENERATION NINE. the generation i've been dreading for the entire existence of this blog#it'll be alright. i'll find ways to get around any problems i might have. i'm pretty confident. i don't think it's gonna be as bad as the#dread tells me it's gonna be. like… look at this face! sprigatito has gotta be one of the best fuckin starters of all time#NOT TO MENTION it stands up!!! in its evolutions!! how great is that??#everyone was so mad but i was rooting for it the whole time. i was BEGGING this cat to stand up. AND IT DID!!!! AND I LOVE IT#IT'S SUCH A WONDERFUL EVOLUTION TOO!!! the fucking magician aesthetic is STELLAR#i love it so much. holy fucking bingle. can't believe game freak popped off so hard with the FIRST pokémon in the paldea dex#they have such pretty eyes. i dunno why they're pogging but it's probably because we finally got to them
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Nobody understands Kingdom Hearts that well cause everybody compares it to shonen anime when it's actually a magical girl anime because it has:
-A protagonist who is an ordinary lad who got given a special power that could save the universe
Teammates that the protagonist can lean on and who help the protagonist with said special power
A love interest heavily involved in the plot that both motivates the protagonist and is motivated by the protagonist
A monster of the week format that has its own standalone conflict that eventually leads to the next major plot point in the story
Overarching themes about love and friendships and connections and identity
#kingdom hearts#kh#i haven't stopped thinking about this#it literally started with recoded#and how recoded is basically the first arc in sailor moon ghjkdfshfds#and then i realized that it literally applies to the whole series#oh ye and let's not forget that kairi is the protag's bestie who gets caught up in the monster of the week conflicts#kingdom hearts is a shoujo#this is exactly why nobody understands#god i feel so big blained for this#nomura pls just tell me you've watched magical girl anime cause it's all right there#i feel so smart rn stg lmao
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sometimes its really obvious how much people dont actually believe presentation=/=gender when they see their nonbinary friend go from extremely masculine to relaxing back into femininity once theyre comfortable with their gender and every time they call it detransitioning with zero indication thats what their friend is calling it. i dont know how to tell you this but sometimes you present a certain way for social reasons and not because thats how you actually feel. sometimes you experience dysphoria about your body that is actually related to how people view you and not how you feel about your body. i really dont think its that uncommon for trans people to swing really hard in one direction for the affirmation and then relax back into a different presentation once they are more comfortable in their gender
#txt#gekkering#idk how to word this but genuinely if you see your friend growing more comfortable in their body and presentation and assume theyre detransi#tioning without them telling you that you should be ashamed and i hope your friend finds someone who is more accepting of experiences they d#dont personally relate to#butch trans women exist femme trans men exist and very masculine AND very feminine nonbinary people exist#i hated my body most of all when i focused on how other people view me. and before anyone accuses me of anything not that you need to but i#do have other dysphoria but its not NEARLY as severe as when i was younger and was obsessed with how other people gendered me#and if that does still bother you thats okay im not saying people who arent bothered by being misgendered are unreasonable or should get ove#r it or anything#but THATS why sometimes your dysphoria from when you first came out can drastically contradict the way you present later in life#such as transmasc people no longer wanting to bind or transfem people no longer wanting to tuck
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Levi with an (Episodically) Depressed S/O
Tags: levi x reader, angst, hurt-comfort, gn!reader Word count: 900
Levi invites you to shower with him, making the obstacle less daunting and much more attractive. In his black robe, leaning on your bedroom door, two towels slung over his arm indicate the knowledge that you will say yes and accompany him. The way that he looks, the low plea in his voice, how could you say no?
It would be more accurate to say that he was bathing you, but he does not phrase it that way. Instead, he is humble, letting his actions speak louder than words. He does not tell you that he will shampoo your matted hair, does not flaunt how deliberately he exfoliates your limbs, he just does them for you. Some days, even just tipping the bottle or pumping some soap into your hand can seem mountainous. On those days, he sees those activities not as tasks, but as privileges. It is his honor to be the one looking after you in your most dire time. He would always prefer someone to take care of rather than someone to miss.
Showering together not only ensures that you stay clean, but his company prevents you from those timeless sessions sat on the tile floor. At the moment you look refreshed but before you become sleepy, he jerks the handle to the left and halts the devastatingly relaxing rain.
Always, your clean clothes are already folded atop the bathroom counter, waiting for you. Some times, you fail to remember that you did not put them there. Other times, you notice the sign of his relentless consideration, but are artificially silenced from expressing your gratitude. No matter in his mind. You are clean, clothed, and out of bed, and that’s already better than you were before.
Without one complaint, Levi scoops your dampened towel and old clothes from the wet bathroom floor and drops them in the hamper for you. He has seen the piles that can amass, and if it were anyone else in any other circumstance, the clean freak would be quick to chastise, but any sight or thought of you disintegrates any instinct to discipline. You are sat in the living room, admiring the ivy that swirls around the balcony’s posts, thumbing the petals of the bouquet vased on the coffee table. White-gold rays move just a tad west to cast your figure in therapeutic light. You’re too tired to move away from the sun, and for once, Levi finds your fatigue favorable. As the morning temperature rises, he can see that your resting smile does as well.
While you are entranced with the scenes of summer, Levi swiftly searches for and alleviates the areas you have left neglected. He dumps your sock drawer upside down and mends the pairs that you have discarded as singles. In your closet, he finds the clean pile and dirty pile and either folds it or washes it accordingly. Under your bed, on your nightstand, in your bedside drawer, he discovers the dirty dishes that have been missing the sink and returns them to their proper place.
Between those tasks, he rolls his shoulders back or rubs the side of his neck and allows himself to sigh. It is difficult - not to bandage these tiny wounds - but to see the harsh bruises left by the illness. Sure, you were forgetful, and not quite as tidy as he was, but still - the mounds of laundry, hidden dirty dishes - this wasn’t like you. Levi lives for your joy - not the superficial smile, your peace - not the misleading silence. He lives for you - in sickness and in health. The times you forget your worth, that is when he whispers it in your ear. When the world is overwhelming you, he lets his touch communicate it.
Once your space is in order, he can start to work on getting you to leave it. Rather than annoying reminders or obligations, he mindfully manipulates the steps of treatment into desirable invitations. Rather than Do you want to… or Would you like to…, his proposals are statements, taking the responsibility out of your hands. Concerts in the park this afternoon. Let’s go to the farmers market. Apple orchard just opened.
Or even less far away.
Plants look thirsty, water them with me? Rain just cleared, read on the porch with me? Full moon tonight, stargaze with me?
To you, with me frames the activities, frames your presence as favors for him, and even in your lowest state, you are always keen to help him with anything. To Levi, it is no framing, your relationship is the greatest gift that fate has bestowed on him, and he treats you as such. It is in his selfless actions and his careful words, but it is more than that, traits you can’t quite categorize. The near flat, subtle smile you wake up to in the morning. The tight yet painless combs through your hair that leave you feeling divine. The low, calming timbre of his voice, decorated with a tender tone that he reserves for you.
Even before the haze you’re in now, you’ve never been able to label those qualities of his, and instead settled: it’s just who he is.
Like the sentiment that motivates his care: it’s what you deserve.
// masterlist //
#Optional A/N: I've been away from tumblr for a while. I had absolutely no expectation that anyone would notice#so please don't feel bad if you didn't notice! <3#i was going through - and am still going through - some intense health problems; mental and physical#so that's why i was gone~ but i've started mental health medication and it's starting to help me.#i can tell because today was the first day that i wrote fanfic in all of 2024 <3 oh how i've missed it#but i've missed the friends i have here more.#sorry for my random leave. please know it was not you - it was me#and my neurons originating in the raphe nuclei located in the midline of the brainstem that failed to make sufficient serotonin :')#anyways thank you all love youuuuuuuuu#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi#levi ackerman#levi x you#levi ackerman x you#aot x reader#snk x reader#aot x you#snk x you#2024#angst#headcanon#my writing#anlian writes#alias's#depression tw#tw depression#depression#mental health#tw mental health
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I recently saw the Community episode this meme is from and this is all I could think of
#this is all of us right#“oh no why didn't anyone tell me Ody was actually serious about being a monster”#he killed a baby in the first ten minutes#we knew he was a monster#I'm calling myself out with this#(I thought the monster song was just being angsty and not a fundamental mindset change he can never fully recover from)#epic the thunder saga#epic the musical#the thunder saga#epic the musical spoilers#epic: the musical#monster rawr rawr rawr#epic odysseus#meme#memes#(this is the first meme I've ever made :D)
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