#its not even like- sad. like i dont cry at sad songs. i cry when songs just sound too good

[nickloonie]

nevermind about the male manipulator music FUCKK THIS!!

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

(preface: im the most sensitive bastard you'll ever meet)

if you haven't cried your eyes out while listening to the 'four out of five' outro with your headphones on full volume in the car during a long drive at night YOU JUST HAVENT EXPERIENCED WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ALIVE OKAY

[andy-wm]

I don’t think this is what he meant especially because Namjoon said he gets how he feels and shook his hand after. We all know Namjoon is single for a while now after going through a nasty breakup. Jimin and Jungkook’s bond is precious even though it’s now clearly not romantic.

He also said “Although I feel this way it’s not sad…” when speaking about Who. I think Jimin is strongly indicating that he has been single for a while. We should really take his words for what they are rather than trying to twist them into a narrative that makes jikook romantic. In the context of everything he said earlier in the video up until the Who talk it seems that he created Who to have the direct message of searching for his person. He was speaking about the song when he said that he felt this way. Not having those butterflies is what he is referring to when he says he feels flat, not sad but not exciting. Even if currently platonic jikook have a precious bond.

Imo these three sentences sums up MUSE and WHO perfectly instead of those essays wanting to connect it to jikook because we want them to be real :

https://x.com/jkyoongs/status/1814588120291287475

This is exactly what he told, meant and going through when he created this album. It's sad Jikook is not involved romantically but they still have a great bond given their trips and now enlistment but if Jimin is saying he's single without even feeling butterflies to fall in love then we have to accept that guys.

Hey Anon, thanks for this ask. Its so great to interact with someone who disagrees with me but doesn't have a huge chip on their shoulder about my views.

And honestly i can see that there are many ways to look at this situation.

Nobody can without a doubt claim they are romantic partners, just like nobody can without a doubt claim they are not. You and I have differing perspectives based on what we see and how we interpret it. We probably have different ways of seeing the world and different experiences of love.

And if one day we all find out that they were really just friends, I’ll shake your hand and, without screaming or crying, I'll accept that i was wrong. I hope you would do the same.

But right now, I don't think I am wrong on this.

Looking at the whole picture it seems to me that they are very much still romantic partners.

More like an old married couple with complicated and busy lives, but

Clearly still very focused on each other.

Clearly delighted with each other.

Clearly care deeply for each other.

Clearly spend a lot of time together despite being so busy.

Clearly attracted to each other.

Clearly physically comfortable with each other.

That's how i see it.

Am i prepared to die on the hill that their relationship is romantic? No, because I can't possibly know for absolute certain. Same reason i dont believe in god (although i think Jikook is more plausible than an old guy sitting in the clouds watching humanity like he's playing The Sims, just quietly... and yes bring on all the anon haters who are gonna want to thrash me because i'm an atheist).

But on the balance of evidence I'd say ...

they're still together.

Lets talk about MiniMoniMusic.

As for the Minimoni video, Jimin was there to talk about the album. It wasn't a conversation about his personal life.

He talked about not having excitement in his life, about his life being bland, and empty after suspending group activities. They hadn't been active as a team, and he was working really hard. It was a long time since he felt excited about something.

That sense of excitement was compared to having a crush and confessing his feelings. He said he can't remember the last time he felt that way, and the journey of MUSE was to make him feel excited again.

Tracks 1-5 were exploring the exciting emotions, like you would have when you're crushing on someone. That euphoria, the fizz in your belly, the high energy etc. That's what excitement feels like.

The crush conversation... This is the part that's throwing everyone.

He said he couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush, and Joon says I know how you feel and he and Joon laughed about that.

If it was because they've both come out of long term relationships (and we know Joonie's breakup was traumatic) why would they laugh?

They weren't laughing about being single, they were laughing about being OLD.

Remember what came next ... Jimin says the youngest in his band is really young so Jimin asked him about how a crush feels:

"Give me something since you're the youngest"

Because having a crush is something teenagers feel.

Jimin and Joon feel old, like they are a bit past having crushes. I believe that's what they're saying. And honestly, when was the last time you heard 30 year old men talking about their crush?

A crush and a long term romantic partner are two very different things.

At no point did he say he wasn't in a relationship.

+++++++++++++++

Edited to add a better translation of 'crush' , being one sided/unrequited love.

I'm not deleting what i originally posted because the reason jimin asked Evan is based on his youth.

+++++++++++++

One more thing i need to add...

In my experience, it's very difficult to go from being in a long term relationship to being platonic besties with your former romantic partner. It takes a LOT of work, and it requires energy, effort, and very carefully maintained boundaries.

Jimin & JK don't look like they're maintaining boundaries to me.

Based purely on the recent footage - the Are You Sure teaser they released - I see no sign of clear boundaries. Even in the Minimoni conversation Jimin says they drink and talk for 3-4 hours and it gets DEEP. That's a recipe for disaster with a former lover.

It also usually requires substantial time apart - YEARS maybe - to reset the relationship so you can be best friends without falling into old habits. We aren't talking high scool boyfriends who get the odd hour alone together here. We're talking months and months abroad in hotel rooms with nothing to do except listen to Lana Del Rey and... eat bread (apparently) 🤣🤣

Ok look, that last part was a tongue in cheek joke but they have spent YEARS under the same roof with zero reason not to be in each others bed, pants, shower, and anything else that sounds fun.

So honestly I don't buy the 'used to be lovers but now good friends' argument.

Those boys are comfortably intimate to such a level they don't know where one of them ends and the other begins.

[rucow]

update:

im devastated

im finally continuing my stone sour journey and OMGGG their 2nd album is so good 😭 i already really loved the 1st album (i love all the alien corey noises in it), but this 2nd album is also super good!!! it's SUPER depressing though :'( made of scars & reborn make me bawl (they hit too close to home for me)

[irishmammonagenda]

Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾

Really liked your last work, so here i am again

Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?

Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess

I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬

Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️

HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊

anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨

no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁

for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:

i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.

i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better

#dontbottleupyouremotions

ANYWAY:

this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊

grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3

Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3

It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)

Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.

So then how do the brothers react?

LUCIFER

Great. Two Mammons.

At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.

Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)

This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.

He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,

He is a demon, after all. ;)

MAMMON

Finally. Someone who cries more than him!

It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.

Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.

You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'

Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.

LEVIATHAN

He blanks.

One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.

You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.

Leviathan PANICKS.

Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.

Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.

You might make him start crying as well :(

SATAN

Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.

He's just glad you cry over positive things :)

His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)

Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.

He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.

He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)

ASMODEUS

He thinks you're adorable.

Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3

If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3

If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.

BEELZEBUB

He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.

Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.

Only in serious serious situations will he cry.

So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)

Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?

He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.

He feels you with that.

Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.

Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.

BELPHEGOR

He laughs at you.

Point blank.

Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.

But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.

This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.

Which you do.

I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh

[trash-gremlin]

VHS Christmas Carols Spoilers

a bunch of my favourite parts and reactions in the VHS Christmas Carols bc i think it needs more love (its incredible btw and definitely worth the money)

i will never get over curts acting choices for this line, the little laugh before saying it and his FACE OH MY GOSH HIS ACTINGGGGGG

maybe the real gift was the love we had for each other and the sacrifices we were willing to make to make the other one happy

these three and their vogue-esque gay ass little song is the only thing that matters to me

it took me forever to turn that into a gif so i hope you enjoy it as much as i do

their reactions to the match girl showing up + brian mouthing "what the"

again laurens reaction to the match girl

ugh ATE

smth i only noticed on like the third rewatch - you can see scrooge holding and inspecting the watch he bought off jim when he bumps into the match girl

this is here bc they all look very good in that lighting especially lauren

embarrassing to admit it took me until here to realise that the match girl died

ajs little smile makes it feel like scrooge is taunting bob here and i love ittttt especially as hes calling him bobby

THIS

the ghost of christmas past jumping rope + scrooge being confused and doing it too

meredith lighting the ghost of christmas past's cigarette

scrooge basically begs his younger self in this scene, i absolutely love ajs choices in this show as scrooge. also i am such a huge fan of this casting not only because they are both phenomenal actors that i will never shut up about but they genuinely look similar and it works very well in this context

scrooge honey you cant fight the christmas electricity

HUGE dad energy

the top of his tiny tim shirt poking out + he looks really good here

funny little thing i noticed - his shirt isnt buttoned, just folded over itself. in the actual show you can see him tuck it under his jacket those quick changes must be killing them

the way he begs them and they dont even react.. paired with the music and this is horror movie level stuff

he got his watch back :,)

no im not crying, i have allergies... yea im allergic to being sad

i went back and made it a gif bc LOOK. LOOK AT HIS ACTING OH MY GOD. IF YOU COULD HEAR THE WAY HE SAID IT YOUD BE JUST AS INSANE AS ME HOLY SHITTTTTTT

this show is incredible go rent it right now if you havnt seen it, go rent it again if you have, and sacrifice all of your money and worldly possessions to starkid thank you and goodnight

[plutonianeris]

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: accepting where people see you as the villain ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤

♱☾pile one☽

sometimes it feels like you can never win because one way or another, theres always someone criticizing you. People are nervous around you and its not necessarily anything you do. I got a lot of scorpio and plutonian energy in my cards/ the oracles. People in your daily life make you seem like the villain because either 1) you don't share too much of you and they are craving for access or 2) you are equally as suspicious of them. Regardless, people can be kind of intimidated of you (but never publically admit it, more like hide it behind shady comments). lol the lyrics of the song playing right now in the background "make everyone hate me if that makes you feel better, your girl talks shit about me just to feel better" as you keep climbing up in your career/ reputation youre going to feel like a lot of more people are judging you. Accept that you cant control that. And if it makes you feel any better, it is envy/ hate but its to hide some jealousy and even some admiration as well.

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile two☽

I heard "theres just no way in hell that this is all on me" the people you live with/ family (and in your hometown) could see you as the villain in those moments you are trying to express your emotions. You could get called being too "emotional" I heard "crybaby" or maybe even being called a hothead & impulsive when you try to talk to your loved ones about how you feel. You could be known for having a short temper or being very emotional (like the type to cry after seeing someone in pain or reading a sad news article). In reality, people close to you can get irritated with how emotionally intelligent you are. When you're angry/ upset about something your'e always determined to do something about it, and you start off by allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Accept that some people dont want to make room for you needs/ emotions. But then know when its time to refuse to give people more access to your energy and make sure you are meeting ur own needs. I just heard "I am worth more than these poor experiences you are trying to give to me"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile three☽

you could find that people in your neighborhood, apartment complex, or even the school you go to tend to turn you into the villain on the forms you communicate/ ask questions/ express yourself intellectual point of view. If you have siblings you could find that you get into frequent fights or bicker a lot. Youre eager to learn new things and that could throw other people off as you rush past them, ready to know more about the world. this pile reminds me of a curious child lol touching the "dont touch" sign. Out of all the piles this one feels more playful. Its like people suck their teeth and roll their eyes but youre so resilient. you bounce back in a way that feels so efortless that they dont stay too mad. its like even the people that see you as "the villian" at times are still secretly rooting for you? idk lol this pile was weird but also kind of endearing. Again, it reminds me of the way a child falls and quickly gets back up. Even if people judge you, you know that you have to keep it pushing. I just heard "in 5 years... shit, in 5 weeks none of this bs is gonna matter"

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

♱☾pile four☽

people you get into close relationships with (friends, but especially lovers or even your crushes) can make you the villain for your "eccentricity." this pile gave off big Aquarius energty (it reminds me of those with aspects between venus and uranus). lol like your beauty and ways of being are very unique or quirky. honestly, those qualities (your forms of dress, taste in music, the weird things you say, random facts u know) are actually what makes people interested in you and start crushing on you. but then at the same time they judge you for not conforming to societal norms. It's like "I think you are unique and brave, but god cant you just be normal sometimes?" thats annoying! My advice to you is don't EVER let people treat you as if spending time with you was a burden and don't let people pick and choose when to hang out with you. watch out for when you have big groups of friends, you could find that 1 or 2 could be hating behind your back. You always stand out in the crowd and sometimes that leaves insecure people with a sour taste in their mouth. You could be someone that has a different religion/ ethnicity/ background in comparison from the rest of your peers (whether it be at school or work). lol alien superstar is playing in the background rn "don't ever waste your time trying to compete with me... no one else in this world can think like me'

♡‧₊˚🕸 TIP JAR ‹𝟹 ∙ 🕷

© plutonianeris🕸️🕷️

[p3ndeja6]

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

c.brock x latina! y/n

summary: you moved to LA to be with your long distance boyfriend, you were having a great time, but after a couple of months you started to feel homesick and missed your hometown and your culture

content tags: spanish speaking reader, mexican reader, cultural references, overall a hispanic reader, not proof-read

word count: 1.6k

fluff ❀﹐

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Y/N

I've loved my time here in LA with colby and sam and all their friends but i recently fell in a funk. I miss my family and my friends.

you were scrolling through your photos and snapchat memories of your time in your hometown and started to feel really homesick, you began to cry, you laid back on you side and cried.

you missed your mom's delicious cooking, how she would make handmade tortillas, or her salsa picante. you didnt have that here and nor did anyone make it, you didnt have any hispanic friends in LA. You would only hang out with sam and colby's friends

you liked them but they sometimes including colby didnt understand your jokes or references. it sometimes pained you that you felt out of place around them.

you connected your speaker in the room that was given to you when you first moved to their house, and a song that reminded you of your dad started to play; its your dad's favorite song, and you couldn't control the sadness that flowed through your body

you spent a good two hours just crying and eventually calmed down but you were puffy eyed and your breathing was skipped

you sat up to recollect your self before colby came home and would come in your room, until another song started to play from your playlist, a heart wrenching song that reminded you of your beloved parents.

you started to cry again, you leaned back to the head board and clutched your body as you were singing to the lyrics

Colby came in the room all happy and giddy until he saw you crying

"oh my god! y/n are you okay? are you hurt? does something hurt?"

he was panicking trying to figure out why you were crying.

"no... nothings wrong" you got up quickly and turned around to wipe your face. he also got up to try to look at you but you kept avoiding him until he grabbed you face and made you look at him

"y/n.. somethings wrong, please just tell me"

"you wont understand" "just try me"

you mustered up the courage to tell him the truth. you looked at him and started to tear up again

"i-i just feel... i just started to feel homesick, thats all" colby was relieved that it wasnt anything life threatening

"oh, well why is that?"

"i dont know... i just miss home, like i really do. my family and friends, my culture and the food, everything" you looked at how he felt hurt about how you were talking about missing your family and friends.

"dont get me wrong, i love being here with you, you make being here so bearable but i just miss my people.. thats all" you half smiled

"no.. yeah i get that, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

"no its fine, i just need a couple minutes alone thats all"

"yeah yeah sure... ill be downstairs if you need me alright?"

you kissed him and hugged him tightly, feeling so safe in his arms.

"thank you, i love you"

"i love you too" he walked out and closed the door, feeling terrible that you felt that way, he wished he could do something about your homesickness

COLBY

as i walked back downstairs to sit with sam on the couch, he noticed my upset mood.

"Everything alright dude?" "uh.. yeah its just y/n is feeling homesick and sorta on the verge of going back home"

"oh shit dude, i definitely know what she's feeling" " do you think we've made her not feel at home? you think I haven't made her feel like home?" " i mean we haven't really done anything to make her feel at home"

"shit dude youre right, we haven't, i feel like the worst boyfriend ever. cant even make my girlfriend feel loved or feel like this is her home"

i started to think about ways to make her feel at home, i can cook her favorite food? no its too late for that, its almost 8

"what should i do sam?" "how about you take her to the other side of LA, take her some place authentic, not might be like where she's from but its the closest thing we got"

"yeah yeah you're right, let me go tell her!"

i ran upstairs and came up to her door, softly knocked to let her know i was coming in, she was still there in bed listening to her spanish music.

"hey y/n.. how you holding up?" "hi.. im doing alright, still trying to get my breathing under control" she let out a dry giggle

i caressed her face admiring her glossy eyes and her stained cheeks, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead, " i was thinking-" she sat up "what were you thinking"

"how about i take you out to eat some place special?" "ehh im not in the mood to eat colby" "no cmon i know a place, trust me"

Y/N

he looked at me with pleading eyes, "sure why not"

"alright get reading in ten minutes" "okay" you smiled and got up to get ready, he left the room to let you get dressed

you wore some ripped jeans with your white Mexico world cup jersey, and some black platform converse. added some mascara and some lip balm before leaving you grabbed your purse

you went downstairs and was greeted by colby waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "hey y/n!"

"hey sam"

"you ready to go babe?"

"yes of course!"

"but before we leave i need you to put this on"

he was holding a blindfold, you looked at him confused and he went behind you to put the blindfold on, you were about to protest before he kissed your cheek and wrapped the blindfold around your eyes

"alright lets go, bye sam!"

you headed out the door, stumbling trying to remember all the steps to get to the car, colby opened the car door and helped you inside.

"was the blindfold really necessary?" "yeah babe, i want to surprise you"

"it wont really be a surprise if we go to in n out" he laughed at the assumption

"how about i put some music on?" "hmm yeah okay" colby connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and a song you recognized easily came on. you started to sing along to song. Colby created a playlist on your favorite spanish-speaking songs. He had to stalk your public Spotify playlist to be able to create the playlist.

"omg i love this song!!" you started to sing the song, pointing the lyrics to Colby not knowing how much of a distraction you are creating for him on the road.

still with the blindfold on you continue to sing all the songs that played, surprised how many spanish songs kept coming on

"omg how do you know these songs?!" "did you stalk my spotify?" you let out a laugh, "gosh y/n no I didn't" yes he did

you laughed at him, knowing well that this is from your playlist, or you thought it was just your playlist he started to play.

"are we there yet?" "no"

"are we there yet now?" "almost"

"what about now?" "actually yeah we are"

"why did it take you so long to drive to in n out if its only a 15 minute drive from the house?"

as you heard opening his side of the door, he rushed over to open your door, "well babe, we arent actually at in n out"

confused, wondering where else he would have taken you

"well.. where are we-" you started to smell the char smell of meat... taco meat.

"omg it smells so good.. where are we..?"

"well let me cross you over the street to find out" "what?"

you started to take off the blindfold until he stopped you, "ah ah ahh, no taking this off yet until i say so" "omg colby where are we"

he guided you across the street, smelling everything. it smelled like home almost, you started to hear the steam of a grill and the music that you grew up listening to. Hearing chatter among people.. in spanish?

"colby... where are we?"

colby finally let go of you and starting to take the blind fold off of you, you adjust to the light and rubbing your eyes a bit to clearly see the scene.

taqueros and vendedores making and selling snacks and meals. hearing them laugh, sing, and speak spanish.

"oh my god.." you said under your breath looking all over, small tears start to well up. "colby.. what is this?"

"i felt really bad that you were feeling homesick, and i hate seeing you cry, so i thought maybe i try to bring home to you... I know this isnt exactly home but i love you so much that i would do anything for you and to show you how much you mean to me, i dont want you to go home, i want to always make you happy y/n"

your tears finally fell, you fully realized how special and loving colby was, you felt so warm and loved.

"Colby... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, you have no idea how much this means to me, and for you to actually consider this idea really brings me to tears, i am so completely in love with you"

you grabbed his head and kissed him, deepening the kiss and full engulf his lips. you let go and admire his big beautiful eyes.

"gosh.. well cmon lets eat something, what kind of tacos do you want babe?" "ehh i have no clue what to get, everything looks so good, how about you order me something"

you smiled at him, wondering how did you get so lucky to have someone so special such as colby brock

you turned over to the taquero and smiled at him, the man smiling back at you and asking what you what would you like to eat.

[ughgoaway]

you're just a stranger I know everything about.

Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)

a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?

word count; 3.5k ish

(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.

 Tap. Tap. Tap.

You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain. 

“Hey y/n, long time no talk. 

I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did. 

Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please. 

Give an old man his birthday wish?

See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.

Matty x” 

You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.

But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.

And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.

You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.

So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget. 

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around. 

Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.

People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.

You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.

"How's work?"

"How have you been?"

"you seen any good films lately?"

but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.

why the fuck were you here?

Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.

You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.

But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.

However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together. 

The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.

✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿

“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.

Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.

It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.

His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features. 

He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.

His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.

You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.

“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.

“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.

“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said. 

He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?

Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.

“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.

“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.

Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.

You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember. 

“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.

“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down. 

“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet. 

Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.

Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.

So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.

He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?

“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face. 

Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.

A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”

Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.

“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.

“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.

“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.

After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”

Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.

And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.

In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.

If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.

But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.

“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?

Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.

“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.

“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.

“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.

"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.

“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.

“I won't” matty says, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return. 

Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.

"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts. 

Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.

Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.

Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.

[yeondollie]

ʙᴀᴍ ʏᴀɴɢ ɢᴀɴɢ ౨ৎ ♡ .ᐟ

'i closed the chapter on the days we spent together.'

. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, breaking up, argument, fem reader, taehyun is kinda mean, crying, heartbreak, reader is needy, taehyun gets annoyed of reader, just over all sad ecfhuehfusih !!

a/n ; i have been listening in bam yang gang on repeat its so so so good but so sad :(. the beat is so adorable and so is bibi i love her sm sm but the song is so sad and as soon as i heard it i thought about making a story with it . this is just a drabble so i dont have a word count sorry :< anyways, enjoy !! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

"why do you want so much out of me? can i have some peace and quiet to myself? god.." here we were again. arguing with taehyun was getting more and more common, though you hated it. taehyun knew you were a sensitive person and didn't like conflict but you were just pissing him off lately.

you didn't know what to say really. though you were only trying to check up on him after work, he wasn't having it. "it's like you're attached to my hip, truly." you suck in the tears in your eyes as he says this. you didn't wanna fight, you just wanted to please him in any way you could.

"yes i-i.. i'll give you time. i’m sorry." you say, tearing still welling in your eyes. this, for some reason, set taehyun off completely. why couldn’t you stand up for yourself? it was pathetic in his eyes. “see! thats why im upset. you’re like a doormat- you get walked all over, it’s pathetic.” he scoffs, letting out a small laugh even.

holding the tears back, about to flow, you mutter out some words. “you’re r-right, i’m s-sorry.” you sniffle a bit, looking up at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling out of your eyes. you’ve never felt more pathetic in your life, it was such a horrible feeling. taehyun didn’t seem phased at all, walking up and getting in your face.

“so thats it? sorry? you think thats gonna fix everything?” he says, his face only inches from yours. it was weird, usually when he was this close he would be kissing you or looking at you longingly but no. not this time, not anymore. the only time he looked at you was with lust or anger behind his eyes.

it felt like the two of you would only have sex or only argue, it was tiring- so tiring. he used to hold your cold hand in his own warm hand. he used to kiss your forehead and play with your hair, what happened? the tears flickered down your cheek as you answered him. “t-tyun i.. i don’t know what else to d-do.” now quickly wiping your own tears.

when he realizes you’re crying, he doesn’t bat an eye. its like all his love for you was drained from his heart- you hated it so much. “you know what _____? we’re done. i cant fucking do this with you anymore. you’re just so.. so needy and dumb!” he raises his voice, now watching you flinch in front of him.

you didn’t even have the energy to stop him, watching him with blurry eyes. watching how much he changed over the span of you two dating was shocking and saddening to you. oh how you longed for the sweet taehyun you once had.

before he could exit your house, forever saying bye to him you did one last thing. “taehyun..?” you whisper, not even having the energy to talk loudly. “what?” he whips back at you. you grab his school name tag he gave you, when he first confessed his feelings for you when the two of you were still in high school.

grabbing his name tag, along with your own- you walked up to him gently. you placed your name tag in his hand, looking into his angry eyes. “so you can remember me, you promised me you’d never forget me right?”

his eyes flickered with sympathy one final last time.

[pandoranbean]

The Ring

agedup!neteyam x fem!omaticaya!reader

word count: 3.037 words

synopsis. you have lived with the sullys for many years, but you start to feel that with neteyam, there are more feelings involved than just love on a sibling to sibling level.

warnings: maybe dark (not directly sibling x sibling but it can be recieved as such), slight angst, TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING

notes: it's my first fic so please dont be too harsh

music: my spotify playlists (playlist with more rock and metal; more accessible songs.), strangers - ethel cain

na'vi translations: skxawng - moron; uturu - refuge; tsaheylu - bond; olo'eyktan - clan leader; oel ngati kameie - i see you(; ikran - mountain banshee)

[image from here]

story begings under this!

you wake up from the same dream you always had when you were stressed out, drenched in sweat, heavily breathing. you look around the hut, to see everbody asleep. jake and neytiri were sleeping soundly, just like tuk, kiri and lo‘ak were. neteyam stirred a little in his sleep when you woke up, but didnt wake up himself. you quickly laid back down, staring at the ceiling, recalling what you had just seen in your dream. 

you had seen your mother, being held at gunpoint by a rda soldier while you were crying. even tho you didnt understand what happened when you were just a year old, this memory has engraved itself into your consciousness and reappears from time to time, ripping open the hole in your heart left by your mother even further. 

every time you closed your eyes, you saw the horrible scene over and over again, you being dragged away from your mother, and hearing gunshots shortly after. 

at this point, you knew you probably werent going to be able to sleep tonight, which is why you decided to head outside to catch some fresh air. 

you slowly stood up from your resting place, making sure not to step onto anything or anyone. you didn't want to wake anyone up since tomorrow jake had planned an ambush onto a rda train. jake told you to stay with mo‘at to help treat the wounded soldiers, and you weren’t exactly happy with that, you would've loved joining them, even just as a spotter, like your brothers.

„brothers“… you felt silly thinking of neteyam and lo‘ak as brothers, as you sat down outside, since you weren't even blood related, and it had always been a point of discussion in the family, especially from neytiri. 

she always pleaded with you to call neteyam and lo‘ak your brothers, like you called kiri and tuk your sisters, but kiri and tuk were different… you didnt know why, but it just felt „right“ to call them your sisters. especially tuk. 

tuk really loved you, her biggest sister, who would sing songs and play guitar for her, who would explain her the whole of pandora and who sung her to sleep if she had a nightmare. 

kiri was so loving towards you, she would always cheer you up when you were sad, which made you feel kida guilty, since you felt it was your duty as her big sister to do the same for her, but when kiri was sad, she isolated herself. not even you or tuk could get through to her.

as you exited your thoughts and admired the pandoran nature, the sheer beauty of the floating hallelujah mountains and the peace there was when the clan was asleep, you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

your body tensed slightly as you snapped your head around to see neteyam kneeling behind you.

„holy shit! you scared me!“ you whisper, while trying to calm down your breath, „why are you not asleep? you know the ambush is tomorrow, right? you need to be well rested as a spotter.“

„sorry y/n, i didn't mean to.“, he answers, gazing in the same direction as you are, „i heard you leaving and wondered what you were up to… you’re with mo‘at, treating the soldiers, right? you need to be well rested as well, you know.“

„i know, but its just… my mother keeps appearing in my dreams and…“, you sigh heavily. 

neteyam lays a hand on your thigh, making your head turn towards him, your eyes widen and your cheeks flush a slight red.

„don't overthink it, it's probably nothing.“, he pauses for a bit, then looks in your face, seeing your slightly red cheeks, „you‘re cute when you blush…“

your cheeks turn even redder, „you think so?“

„i do, yes.“, he answers. an awkward silence ensued for a few seconds, „i wanted to give you something y/n.“ 

„oh…“ your blush that had faded a bit instantly came back, „what is it?“ you ask, while neteyam shows you his closed fist.

„open it, y/n.“, he says, anticipation spreading across his whole face. 

you lay one hand under his and use your other hand to open his fist. as you grab the thing from his hand, you realize its a wooden ring, „wow… it's really beautiful.“, you say, a big smile spreading across your face, „you made this yourself?“ 

„for the most part…“, he says while nervously running his hand through his hair, „kiri helped me figure out what i could make for you.“ 

you take it in between your thumb and index finger and examine it carefully, „wow… these designs are so pretty.“, you admire the beauty of it some more until neteyams voice pulls you out of your trance.

„put it on, y/n.“, he says, eyes full of affection.

you put it on and stare at the ring, how it was perfectly fitting your style. „wow neteyam… its really pretty, i… i don't know how to thank you.“, the smile on your face widens even more.

neteyam now looks away shyly, “i… hope my little gift will make it a little less… weird what i wanted to tell you.“ 

you take his hand that rested on your thigh in both of yours, “you can tell me everything, you know that.“ you smile at neteyam as he seems to lose himself so much in your smile that he doesnt talk for a few seconds. 

“neteyam?“, you snap him out of his trance, „what did you want to tell me?“ 

“i… i really like you… more than just friends… i… i have feelings for you, y/n.“, his face turns red like you have only seen these things the humans called „tomatoes“. 

your eyes widen and shock, but also relief washes over you, „i… i‘m…“ you stutter, completely taken aback by his sudden honesty.

„talk to me y/n, please.“, he says, looking concerned, like he is bracing for some kind of impact.

„I… I feel the same way neteyam… i…“, you smile while tearing up from happiness, “but it… it feels wrong, somehow.”, you say, still smiling but uncertain about the outcome of this whole thing.

“what do you mean ‘it feels wrong’?”, a few seconds of silence ensue. he frowns and speaks again, “is it because you see us, me and my family as your family?”

“everybody here thinks of us as siblings neteyam.”, you say, with a puzzled expression, wiping away your happy tears, “and besides, neytiri and jake would be furious. they would never accept us.”

neteyams heart skipped a beat as you said ‘us’, referring to the both of you. he raised his voice a bit, “but i dont care what anybody else thinks! i love you and-” he stops in his tracks as you give him a glare to speak more quietly. 

“do you want jake and neytiri kicking your ass because of this before it has even begun?” you hiss at him, although the hiss comes out of your mouth half-heartedly.

neteyams ears snap back as you hiss at him, “geez, sorry…” he says, still with a slight smile on his face as he understands you didnt hiss at him because you were truly angry.

“neteyam?”

his ears perk up again, “yes?”

“if we… get together, we can't let anybody know. otherwise it will cause problems for the both of us. we will both be brand marked for life and it will destroy opportunities, and-” he interrupts you.

“as long as i’m with you, that doesn't matter to me.” the both of you blush, and he takes your hand in his, squeezing it gently. “we wont tell anybody… deal?”

“deal.”

the next day, before jake, neytiri, neteyam and lo’ak leave for the ambush

“neteyam, lo’ak! whatever you do, you do not land on the ground! you are spotters, your place to be is the sky, understand?” jake says with a stern expression on his face.

“yes sir…” neteyam and lo’ak answer, obviously not amused with their father not letting them participate in the ambush on the ground.

neteyam comes up to you and hugs you before they need to leave, “bye y/n.” 

“take care neteyam.” you say, then you walk to jake, neytiri and lo’ak also wishing them luck.

“is your comms turned on y/n?” jake says, checking out your mic and earbuds which they use to communicate over.

“yes, for the 5th time today… why do i need to wear one anyways? im not in the battle with you all, even though you know how well tarsem trains me.”  you roll your eyes annoyedly. 

“because if we need urgent care at the scene, you’ll fly over to us…” he looks away shortly before turning back to you, “for the fifth time today”, he says, imitating your earlier mockery. “Your grandmother needs to stay here and kiri and tuk are helping her out, you are one of the only people i trust to take care of wounded warriors in the middle of the ambush.”

“alright, alright, i get it…” you say, still annoyed.

jake, neytiri, lo’ak and neteyam fly away on their ikran towards the incoming train. you feel worried deep inside, but decide to keep your outside emitting strong and tough energy. 

an hour or so later, you were treating wounded warriors when you heard jakes voice, definitely angry at both of his sons. you decided to stay with the soldiers, until you hear that neteyam was wounded. that's when you decide to check out what is going on.

“go get yourself patched up” you can hear jake say as he scolds lo’ak for being reckless.

you get neteyam to the other wounded warriors, preparing him for some treatment, “what happened neteyam?” you say as you grab some materials.

“a gunship from the sky people shot at us with… with explosive munition i think… me and lo’ak were down on the ground and then-” you cut him off as your big-sister-instincts kick in.

“you went down there? you know how badly that could’ve ended? you… you could be dead neteyam”, you say, voice filled with emotion. as you were about to continue your instinct-driven rant, neteyam silenced you.

“you don't need to tell me the same thing dad told me, y/n.”, he tries to get up again, but you stop him.

“you’re staying neteyam! you're hurt and your ass won’t leave until i treated the wound.” you say with dreading in your voice. “i’m sorry i lashed out at you, but you can’t get yourself into danger when jake explicitly told you not to.” silence ensues for a few seconds. “i’m sorry, but i just want you to be safe, and… i feel responsible.. kinda… i dont even know why and… are you even listening?” 

he was, in fact, not listening to you.

your eyebrows furrow as you realize he wont listen to anything you’ll say. “kiri can take over from here if you dont want to talk neteyam.” 

he still stayed silent.

“alright… i’ll get kiri then.”,you say as you leave him to get kiri. he wants to just stand up and leave, but since you’re basically his sister, you turn around to make sure he stays put. “neteyam, sit your ass back down!”, you command. he obliges while mumbling something you couldn’t quite make out. 

a few days later, you sit in the family hut, waiting for the return of lo’ak, kiri, spider and tuk. they had gone out to the forests to explore. they wanted you to come along, but you were lost in your thoughts about what happened while you were aiding neteyam. jake, neytiri and neteyam suddenly ran around the hut nervously, you notice a certain tension lingering in the air. jake, neytiri and neteyam are seemingly in a hurry. you wonder what they’re up to, so you decide to ask them.

“jake?” you approach jake with a curious expression. “why are you all so tense right now?”

“your brother lo’ak brought tuk, kiri and spider to the abandoned barracks. quaritch has them hostage.” jake says, restlessness and worry written his face.

you gasp at the thought of your best friends being held hostage by this ‘quaritch’ guy jake had often talked about, but you had no idea who he was or what he looked like. “i'll grab my bow and come with you!” 

jake doesnt even look at you as he denies your request. “no y/n. you’re staying here. it is way too dangerous having so many of us around there.”, he says with a tone in his voice that makes it unmistakeable for you that there was absolutely no room for discussion. 

“alright… i’ll stay” you say, feeling sad and left out, while simultaneously understanding the reasoning behind his decision.

you stay back in the hallelujah mountains as jake, neytiri and neteyam fly off towards the vast pandoran jungles. you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness as everyone left but you.

“they had their knifes at our children’s throats!” jake energetically says to neytiri.

“my father gave me this bow, as he was dying… to protect my peo-” you can hear her say before you snap out of your trance-like state when a little finger pokes at your thigh. as you look down, you see tuk, looking up to you.

“hey tuk, whats the matter?” you ask smiling, kneeling down to be on her eye level.

“what are they arguing about?” she asks with her sweet childish voice.

“i don’t know, but if it concerns us, they will let us know alright? let’s give them some space to work things out.”. you extend your arms, signaling her to let you carry her. she immediately hugs you and you pick her up, walking to where neteyam, lo’ak and kiri were sitting. 

“what do you think they’re talking about?” lo’ak asks,

“don't be so nosy all the time lo’ak. if its about us, they’ll tell us sooner or later” kiri scolded her brother. 

“exactly what i was saying to tuk just now.” you sit down, gently setting her back on the ground. 

you noticed neteyam was just looking down at the ground, lost in his own thoughts. “neteyam? everything fine?” 

he glances up at you for a second, before responding with a short and gruff “yeah.”. he looked on the ground again, not willing to talk to you about what had happened in the forest.

you sigh heavily, “what is it with you over the last few days? why are you ignoring me neteyam? what did i do to you? is it because of what happened while i fixed you up?”

he gives no response.

“i already said im sorry, alright!” you say, a hint of desperation in your voice. you know you would‘ve said much more if lo‘ak, kiri and tuk weren’t sitting a few meters beside you.

“y/n, your mother almost got-” he starts but gets interrupted by you:

“she isn't my mother!“ you hiss, your ears laying back flat.

“your siblings almost got killed and you…” he responded angrily before taking a break. “i need time to think over stuff and don't have time to ‘talk about my feelings’ y/n.” 

“sorry for asking skxawng…” you spit back.

no answer from neteyam again. 

neytiri and jake exit their hut, walking towards the six of you. the obvious tension in the air could be felt from miles away.

jake takes a deep breath and sits with us all, while neytiri is nervously pacing around. „your mother and i have decided to leave the hallelujah mountains, in light of the fact that you three…“ he pauses to look at lo‘ak and kiri with a stern expression which softens as he looks at tuk. „were held hostage by quaritch, which means he is here for me. i cant endanger my family like that, which is why we‘re going to be seeking uturu from another clan.“ 

tuk, who had clinged to your knee, started crying. you picked her up to comfort her, but neytiri gave you her all-telling-‘give me my kid back’-stare, so you handed her tuk carefully. but you yourself hadn’t been affected less by what jake just told you.

first your eyes widened and searched for jake’s, asking him is this true? with your tear-filled eyes. he just nodded at you, making you let your tears loose.

you were crying, somehow, but it didn't feel like the usual crying, it felt… different somehow. images of your friends, of the jungle you’ll be leaving behind, of everything you had known at this point. 

you felt a hand soothingly rubbing your back. you looked up to see kiri, heavily crying herself, trying to comfort you. you stood up and just hugged her deeply. you could feel her heartbeat going faster, yours following suit. 

but not everybody was this emotional as you, kiri, tuk and neytiri were. as you pulled away from kiri’s hug and looked around, you took in the boys’ emotions. jake’s expression stern and serious, as always; lo’ak seemed… disappointed, somehow. and as you looked at neteyam, you felt the need to hug him, but resented yourself for thinking that at the same time. he was obviously trying to keep up the facade of the strong, fearless warrior, but it was visibly cracking at that moment. you could tell. 

and feel. 

it was like you had made tsaheylu with him and could feel what he feels, but you obviously hadn’t. 

you watched jake stand in front of tarsem as he slices the olo’eyktan’s chest, symbolically killing jake, which made tarsem the new olo’eyktan of the clan you would be leaving shortly. 

as your family left, you turned around to tarsem.

“i’m proud of you, tarsem. until we meet again.” you press all three fingers to the top of your head, sweeping them down slightly to the bridge of your nose, before departing from your face downward. “oel ngati kameie, olo’eytkan tarsem. thanks for being by my side and making me the warrior i am today.”

“thank you y/n. until we meet again.” he hugs you, his first trainee, for maybe the last time, before you follow your family to their ikrans. unbeknownst to you, tarsem shed a little tear when you left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading <3333 part 2 of 7 (wtf) coming soon, ill start writing asap!

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[superficial-ly]

C R I M I N A L M I N D S ‘ S F A V A L B U M S

JJ first coz that’s my girl - Stick Season (We’ll all be here forever) by Noah Kahan

• the getting out of a small town i hav so many regrets vibes

• THE SONG CALL UR MOM its jj

• it hurts to listen to but she won’t stop she needs a piece of home to cling to even if it’s not hers

Emily coz that’s my girls girl - Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

• she had never known peace since

• moon song as jemily double ouch

• special mention to funeral in relation to matthew she genuinely cant listen to it. she made the mistake of trying once on the jet and she will never again.

hotch i love him - Wasteland, Baby by Hozier

• hotch loves like it hurts bc it does. all of his love hurts him. but he still loves bc that’s js who he is and hozier is perfect for that i think

• wasteland, baby especially i think in reference to haley. its a hard listen but one he loves he thinks it honours her in a way.

• its perfect

spenecer my habib - Carrie and Lowell by Sufjan Stevens

• i think it’s just peaceful enough but not mind numbing that he can focus on it as well as fall asleep if he needs to

• fourth of july especially for everyone he’s ever lost is a double ouch all these acts of service to try and bring someone back bc he struggles to grasp the fact that when a person is gone, there’s nothing left to do.

morgan - not exactly an album but Tupac’s Greatest Hits is on contant rotation in his little headset thingy (so cute omg)

• all of tupac is like especially upbeat with values and ideals and deep real world reflections and he DIGS it

• especially likes Keep your Head up it reminds him of his mom and ehy he joined the fbi - he wants to help the underdog

• (morgan was DEVASTATED with the tupac beef with biggy)

penelope my girl - the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan

• she assigns them all their individual songs from the album but she is the avatar.

• she cannot do sad music so this shit is her JAMM

• femininomenon or however u spell it is a personal favourite. HOT TO GO is second

• also shes sapphic even if she only dates men in the show so she EXTRA GETS IT

tara my baby who deserved better is 100% Planet Her by Doja

• Ain’t Shit? her jam she knows all the jams

• woman is one of her favourites.

• her and rebecca sing kiss me more in the shower

luke - definitely tyler but i’m struggling between Flower Boy and IGOR

• he has that kind of i am happy to be loving u kind of vibe even if he knows the world is messed up. he so severely fucks with tyler and the whole rap genre be loved finding references he previously missed he thinks he’s a genius (he’s right)

alex blake - songs by adrienne lenker

• she stumbled across it one day and while it wasn’t the usual stuff she listened to she gave it a chance

• she never turned back

• she likes the retro feel and half return makes her FEEL like nothing else can

• shes complicated okay? not a lot just forever for her son? ouch

kate - SOS by sza

• this one’s hard bc she’s a hard core “feel things? no thank u. let’s rock!”

• i think good days is so special to her in a really quiet way

• j think kill bill makes her laugh really hard

jordan todd i never hated u - good girl gone bad: reloaded by rihanna

• she was so special to me. a wow on the team pre-2010. this was history. either way

• breakin dishes bc she is so happy at counter terrorism but watching emily fight men will always do it for her (they were sapphics ur honour)

• shes a club girly. dont stop the music, umbrella she was living for that shit

elle cutie patootie - Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Ray

• its hers i can’t

• shes so lana guys “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me” ????? it’s HERS

• “how to disappear” pls be so serious

jason gideon papa extraordinaire - Tapestry by Carole King

• he misses the 70s gang (so do i (i wasn’t born))

• Home Again makes him cry. he can’t explain it. hee never has to.

• so far away after he left the bau - his heart was basically empty but he couldn’t fill it with any more darkness he had to go. it hurt him so bad guys he literally died from it

matt simmons - anything from my little pony

• i’m sorry guys he recognises they’re killer tracks

• also his 8 million kids he watches it like three times a day

• unironically listens to battle of the bands

• kristy hates him for it.

[andy-wm]

Aesthetic Emotions and the Catharsis of Tragedy

How I feel after watching Jimin's Production Diary - The Truth Untold.

Why do we feel so drawn to emotional outpouring of others?

Why does the suffering and pain of artists make 'meaningful' art'?

I'm going to tell you why I think Face is a Greek Tragedy and why, even though the album is a complete and perfect story, we still needed Letter.

You know how sometimes you just need a good cry? And afterwards you feel better, like a weight has lifted... that's catharsis.

Based on the philosophy of the ancient greek philosopers Aristotle and Plato, the catharsis offered by tragedy in art is good for your soul.

The tragedy I'm talking about is not like a natural disaster. Its not like an unfathomably sad real life situation such as war, or the failure of the referendum for The Voice to pass in Australia.

I'm talking about Tragedy as a literary and artistic genre.

Simply put, Tragedy as a genre is identified by pathos and passion. And the work must have a narrative structure - a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Pathos being the ability to identify with and pity a person going through hard times.

Passion referring to strong emotion (of any sort).

But how do we find the equivalent of that literary theory in work that's not a typical story? In a song, or in art?

In my opinion, we can see something similar in music if we combine literary theory and art theory. After all, what is a song but a story delivered with emotion through music, and experienced as art is?

There's a school of art theory called Aesthetic Emotionalism.

In a nutshell, this means that the VALUE of the artwork comes from the way it communicates or expresses emotion. Mood, colour, tone, language all contribute to the feelings we get when we experience that work, whether it's looking at a picture or listening to music. They help us pick up on the emotions the artist is conveying.

So what happens when you experience those emotions through art? What is catharsis?

The experience of tragic events in art, whether it's a heart-rending drama, or a beautiful sad song, or a dark and menacing painting, can give you access to emotions like fear, pity, and regret. Feeling those emotions through art lets you purge the heaviness of them from your mind and body, giving you a sense of relief. That's catharsis.

It seems counter-intuitive but ultimately the experience is uplifting. It's like having the benefits of a therapy session, but without having to face YOUR OWN demons.

Becuase of the narrative structure, and the resolution of conflict, there's always relief at the end of the story.

You feel cleansed of those strong emotions, reengergised and ready to go on. But you also feel a sense of calm understanding. The pathos part of the tragedy gives you insight into the suffering of the character in the story.

Think about the narrative structure of the album Face.

The album has a carefully planned narrative, and a sense of rising and falling energy with these songs that's strongly reminiscent of the structure of a Hero's Journey.

And think about the individual songs in terms of Aesthetic Emotionalism too ...how they convey emotions through tone, pace, language, colour etc.

I'm going to go ahead and say that the strength of the Aesthetic Emotionalism in these songs (and in BTS's music in general) is a major reason they have such impact even when you dont understand the lyrics.

Now let's combine them... look at the emotions conveyed in these songs and how the literary theory of a tragedy might apply to the album :

The first song is the slow and devastating Face Off, with its hypnotic rhythm and strange, discomforting sound effects. It reallly does transport us into a dreamlike/nightmare landscape. But the last few words of the song foreshadow that it's gonna be alright.

Then we have the surreal, melancholy Dive, drawing us further into this dystopian world. It also uses sound effects to make us feel like we are being pulled through time. Dive is reminiscent of a soundtrack from a video, but it's been separated from it's film reel, leaving the listener to guess and imagine the scenes unfolding. It feels like jimin has come untethered from his reality.

Like Crazy comes like rising action in a novel, and we get character development, a bit of plot information, and conflict. But the song itself is a viby dance track with a party atmosphere (if you don't look too closely) so we get a reprieve from the darkness of Face Off and Dive. Its hypnotic beat is enough to keep us locked in the surreal dreamlike world that's been built around us by the previous songs, and the lyrics echo that.

Alone takes us back down into the darkness of Jimin's state of mind, both lyrically and with its low tones and slow pace. We get the metronome, the marking of slow time.

Set Me Free has a totally different energy. Jimin's tone of of voice is much brighter, but hard and determined. Set Me Free isnt a request, it's a demand. The music is forceful. It's like a battle march. The story has reached its climax.

Returning to Like Crazy (English version) after Set Me Free, is like returning to a gentle refrain. Its so much softer and more plaintive than the demanding Set Me Free, echoing the earlier melody and words, but it hits sightly different in English. We are into the denouement of this story, the resolution has come.

But it's not the end.

It is not the end, because after a few minutes of silence, time to breathe, we get Letter.

Why is letter here?

Jimin could have released Letter on Weverse or Soundcloud or directly onto Spotify. But he chose to include it at the end of the album.

I feel this is so important, because the specific set of circumstances of this album means this Tragedy we've just experienced isn't entirely consistent with the literary genre.

FACE ticks all the boxes for a Tragedy in the literary sense, it has pathos and passion and narrative structure. If you were a casual listener and you got to the end of the album you would have a sense of catharsis, as intended. But there's a complication.

ARMY aren't casual listeners.

This is personal.

We know Park Jimin, the real person.

We know this isn't fiction. This shit is real. It was real for him when he wrote it and it's real for us now.

Achieving catharsis isn't that easy when it's personal. Not when the hurt is real.

That's why he gave us letter.

That's why he gave it ONLY TO US.

Letter is a soft sweet gift, a sentimental dedication full of reminiscences that only ARMY will understand. The melody is gentle, like a lullaby, and Jungkook's backup vocals are enough to make you weep, if you aren't weeping already.

(**I have a theory that jk either didn't know about letter or didn't know Jimin was going to ask him to sing. See this post for why)

Letter does exactly what it's meant to - it fills us with warmth. It makes us overflow with love. It's a soothing balm to heal our hearts.

And its everything we need in order to let go of those heavy feelings of fear and pity, of worry and sadness for Jimin that the album brought to the fore.

Jimin knew we would need more. That's why he he sent us letter, right at the very end.

"I'm sorry. Thank you," It says.

"Don't cry. It's gonna be alright."

[pandabyler]

LONG POST AHEAD

hey pooks! this is a continuation of my post about byler songs, and someone asked me to explain these so here u go!

enchanted (taylor swift)

i put this one because it reminds me a lot about the shed scene. "it was the best thing I've ever done" vs "I was enchanted to meet you"

it reminds me of them as a whole, especially the line "please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you" and "I've spent forever wondering if you knew" which both talk about their feelings for each other, and will wondering if mike knows how he feels. beautiful song 10/10

2. you belong with me

this one is self-explanatory but its probably the most byler song ever. everything is just so them. will comparing himself to el and feeling like a mistake, and being the one to truly understand mike and his interests. mike wants and needs a lot of things that el cant provide, but will can. "cant you see that I'm the one who understands you? been here all along so why cant you see?" "I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're bout to cry" and we've seen will hear up mike when he's sad countless times. 10000/10

3. deja vu

this one reminds me a lot of the byler and mileven parallels. will and mike used to be so close, but now he's spending all of his time with el. "she thinks its special, but its all reused" 9.5/10

4. so american

this one is 10000% in wills pov. to me its about his love for mike. "I'm not gonna...fall in love" -will szn 3 and then season 4 will was just "think I'm in looooooooooooOOOOOOOOVE" (sry this song is just too good) 9.8/10

5. good 4 u

this one is more bitter. it reminds me more of season 3 byler, and how will felt abt mileven. will felt left behind and discarded, and to him, it seemed mike wasn't even fazed (he was) "good 4 u, ur doing great out there without me, baby, GOD I wish that I could do that" 100% in wills pov. 10/10

7. iris (goo goo dolls)

"i just want you to know who I am" will wanting to tell mike how he feels, and that he's gay. this song to me is about their longing for each other, and that they both have secrets they need to be open about. 9/10

8. hear my heart (midnight mantics)

this song is SO SO SO underrated likeee.... but this song is basically about miscommunication, which byler has when it comes to their arguments, and in the end they always sort it out. "my big mistake, was letting you leave when we weren't finished, talking it through" mike to will in s3 and will to mike in s4 9.9/10

9. heather

UGHHH THIS SONG!!! "shes got you mesmerized, while I die" s4 mileven at rink o mania leaving will behind, and all of s3 lollll this song is just so byler 11/10

10. traitor (olivia rodrigo)

def in wills pov, portraying that mike has completely left him once a girl came along. mike making him feel special in the shed, but then showing nothing towards him in season 3 to make him feel special again. not sure if that makes sense but 8/10

honorable mentions

right now (one direction)

"lights go, down and" (the ud being dark) "I hear you calling to me yeah" (will calling for mike in the ud) and "lets go crazy together" vs "crazy together right?" LIKE YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP 10/10

2. strong (one direction)

mike giving will the courage to fight on just for being himself. wills love for mike makes him strong. "so many words we're not saying" (feelings for each other) "but there's nothing I'm running from" (will coming to terms with himself and his feelings for mike" "you make me strong" also also will saying he's felt so lost without mike, and the song goes "but when I'm not with you I'm weaker" 100/10

3. lets hurt tonight (one republic)

"dont walk away, dont roll your eyes" and "you were rolling your eyes, you were moping" which basically is about their communication and needing to talk things out when they argue. "they say love is pain, well darling lets hurt tonight" painful because mileven is together, yes, but also because its going to be so hard for byler to be a couple in the 80s, and they may not be able to do all of the things they wish they could

4. moment like you (liamariejohnson)

ANOTHER UNDERRATED BANGER but to me this is about will not wanting to be replaced for left behind by mike, and coming to terms with his feelings. "please don't leave me here tonight, lonely on the dance floor. cause I've been waiting my whole life, for a moment like you" which could also be seen as the literal intimate moments between byler in s4, and will treasures those heart to hearts and is so glad to finally be close to mike again.

well thats a wrap so lmk what yall think!! dt @skyewaytohell

sry if theres typos guys its 2am and I'm sitting hunchback at my computer

BYLER ENDGAME

[shovson]

what are the most shovson-core songs to you with explanations if you want (i have caught the bug i am making a playlist)

i don't know anything about musiak just as a warning and also that means you have to share with the class when the playlist is done!!! PLEASEEEEEE

don't you start - artemas

tbh i don't even know why i've attached this song soooo hard to them but it's like my shovson song.....i always associate "and if nothing matters / come home with me" to them the fact ive made an edit and fic of them to this song.....embarassing

young and beautiful - lana del rey

@midwestgp said consider the vision and i did. tbh i dont even know if its ironic or if it was ever ironic. jenson perspective ass song......shov will still love him when he's no longer young and beautiful i could cry

you found me - kelly clarkson

im sure there's a more poetic song somewhere but i genuinely just can't stop thinking about the fucking lyric "the ups and the downs and you still didn't leave". it's insane to think about it that shov had a job offer with bmw sauber and declined it despite everything that was happening with honda at the time....like him and jenson just committed to brawn despite that. makes me crazy thinking about it.

sad machine - porter robinson

the chorus of this song just makes me think about the relationship between any driver and race engineer. the way it's sung as well in the actual song is just so good

And though I know, since you've awakened her again She depends on you, she depends on you She'll go alone, and never speak of this again We depend on you, we depend… I'll depend on you

it makes me think about how much how much the driver (and also maybe by extension the team) depend on the race engineer. but also fucking the "she'll go alone" lyric....jenson leaving shov to go to another team because drivers usually move on. ouagh

the remedy/by your side - french 79

these songs are a little bit interchangeable to me. maybe leaning towards the remedy. the remedy is kind of about yearning which is nice. something about needing someone by your side as well yay!

i'll never know - midnight drift

i always imagine this song being about shov questioning why jenson likes him bc hes such a beautiful man and shov is a cringefail dork (affectionate).