#FINDING PEOPLE IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY THING DAMNIT

[demifinnyfib]

WHAT'S UP, LOSER

CALLED IT🫵

[justin-chapmanswers]

Sorry if this is a bit rude, but how do you consider yourself as he/they or they/he? I am questioning my sexuality and gender at the moment and seeing you (idk if ur lgbt) makes me find comfort, if you can, how did you realise you were not straight and how I can find mine! :3

Oh golly uh. Let's see if I can keep this short and then bury it under other answers. <3

Labels are fun cause they're so funky and ever-changing as you learn more about yourself. So, firstly, don't stress about finding something so perfect right away and bounding yourself to it. You're still you, any way you word it.

Gender-wise I'm in a state of def preferring they but being chill enough with he. Like whateverrrrr. It's hard to get around societal norms and perceptions, so my expectations are calibrated accordingly. I of course feel that for people who feel more strongly about a specific label, it's important to fight for it to be recognized whenever you're in a safe-enough environment to do-so. But for me, the concept of pushing for a specific label or, even more-so, of seeing other people pushing others to use a specific label for me is veryyyy anxiety-inducing. I tend to avoid spotlight when possible. But at the same time, a lot of it just comes down to not wanting to be grouped/perceived gender-ly at all. I tend to use the label agender. But I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences with different labels. I just, ya'know, wanna be me.

Gender exploration is funnnn. There's no one right way to learning about yourself. Some people know from a young age, almost inherently, some people figure things out a lot later. It's never too late. Some people learn with outfits and styles, some with looking to people/characters who they want to be perceived more-like, some with experimenting through new names/pronouns and feeling-out how being called different things makes them feel. If you have friends you feel safe around with all of this, on or offline, can't hurt to say "hey would ya mind calling me x-name or y-pronoun for a bit?" And if you don't like it, you don't need to stick with it. But really be cognizant of it feels right to you.

Then on the romantic orientation side, that's been a much longer journey haha. I was calling myself straight through middle schooler, bi for a bit in early high school, gay starting in later high school, then for a long while. Nowadays I just say queer. Labels make things easier, until they don’t haha. For me, if you imagine a scale of feminity to masculinity with like little pegs running down the line from 0 to 10, with 5 in the middle, I tend to find myself attracted to people in like the 4 to 8 range? Something like that. But even that's not perfectly consistent! There's never going to be a perfect word for everything. That's why I like queer as an umbrella term. It's also just a cute word, I don't make the rules.

Hence earlier when I mentioned that you should just feel free to keep it open and not close yourself off. Maybe nothing'll change, but what if something does? But of course, I assume you're asking from more of a place of just starting this journey. I'm trying to get my mind back to where I started with that. I think the first time the not-straight realization hit was when a friend of mine didn't show up to an event and I was all like "why am I so miserably sad that he wasn't there?" And then a lightbulb appeared over my head and out-loud I said "aw damnit." And then things have been weird and confusing ever since.

But in terms of giving advice, it's hard to not just be like "uhh idk just hang out with people that makes you feel gooey." But obviously it's more complicated than that. A decade ago, I was taking random "am I gay" tests online. But they're kinda silly cause the questions on those would ask me to fill in information about how I feel, but how am you supposed to know how I feel without the test telling me how I feel??????? So realistically, I'd advise private journaling. Just take some time, even five minutes. Start now. Write out who you are drawn to, in any sense, and how they make you feel. Especially if you're like me and have trouble self-reflecting unless I force myself to. Like. In a Tumblr post.

There's so many ways to explore. It's also nice to look at relationships in life and media and seeing if you connect to any relationship or long to fit into someone's place within a relationship. That's why representation matters, baybeeeee! But also, ya'know, talking to people goes a long way to learning about yourself. Trial 'n error let's gooooo.

And above all: you got this.

[agirlnamedstar]

Part twooooo to my Crowely fic!!

Oh Crowley, why can’t you get your lazy crow ass up and find us a way home?:(((

Also I’m sorry for such a late post!! I fucked up my ankle and had to be in the hospital for a lil bit!

Part 1 Part two

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You awoke to frantic yelling. The person (people??? It sounded like more than one at this point…) sounded worried and scared.

“What did you do to them?! Why did we find them PASSED OUT on your office floor Dire Crowley?!” A voice screeched out.

Oh yeah, that’s what happened.

You went off on the headmaster of the school you were forced into. The school you were forced into because you were sent here on accident and that stupid mirror can’t send you back.

And that said headmaster hasn’t been looking for a way home for you.

Now, you have zero hope of going home.

And your body hurts.

Your body hurts a lot.

It feels like there’s a cauldron on your chest. It’s heavy. You can barely breath.

Your head feels as if Crowley hit you in the head with his cane a dozen times. You can’t tell if you’re about to throw up or pass out all over again..

“I didn’t do anything! They came in, and passed out on my floor.” Crowley defended himself, completely leaving out the whole “yelling and crying” part.

“It sounded like it was way more than that.” Someone chimed in, sounding tired and pissed off.

…was that Leona??

“It was more than that..” you croaked out, opening your eyes and trying to sit up. “Way more than that..actually..”

“PREFECT!!” A series of voices shouted. You could vaguely make out their blurry figures as they ran over to you.

“Prefect, are you alright?!” Deuce yelped as he was pushed to the side almost immediately by Floyd.

“Shrimpy!! We came as soon as we heardddd!! What happened? Do I need to squeeze somebody?” He said, winking as he pointed at Crowley.

You smiled weakly, admiring his efforts to make you feel better.

Your arms nearly gave out as you tried to sit up, you felt a hand land on your back to steady you.

“Take it easy. We don’t want you getting more hurt than you already are, Prefect.”

You looked to your other side, seeing Riddle in all of his glory.

God, was everyone here??

You looked around, seeing that, yeah, everyone really came to see you.

From Leona and Ruggie, to Malleus and Lilia.

You didn’t realize they cared so much about you..

God damnit.

This makes everything so much harder.

How were you supposed to go back home knowing these guys care about you?

“Hey Herbivore, you never answered us. What happened back there?” Leona spoke, sitting down on the edge of your bed and breaking your trance.

Were you in the nurses office???

“Oh..uhm..well..I went into Crowleys office to ask him if he finally found me a way home..” you said, seeing everyone’s expressions drop as you spoke.

Gazing at everybody, you realized their once concerned expressions now looked distraught and upset.

Especially Malleus’s. Who made eye contact with you before looking at the ground, not daring to look you in the eyes.

“As most of you know, we helped Vil with his overblot yesterday..”

“And I got hurt, everybody got hurt! I almost got poisoned, I am burnt and beaten, I LIMPED to Crowleys office. I didn’t walk, I limped because my leg hurts so fucking badly.”

You could see Vil flinch out of the corner of your eye, making you look down at the bed guiltily.

Everyone looked so sad. You’re making everyone sad.

God you feel awful..

“Listen, I’m only a student, okay? A magicless one at that. I don’t have any magic to fight like you guys do. I’m practically useless in fights and magic related classes!! Do you know how hard it is to tackle these overblots when you’re magicless? I have to rely on my strength to get through these fucking things. And when they’ve been happening back-to-back for WEEKS now?? It’s hard to heal. Mentally and physically.”

“And, I love you guys so much, I promise you. I don’t regret meeting or befriending any of you. I could never regret meeting or befriending any of you. Don’t get me wrong, you guys can get annoying!” You said, looking at Ace and Grim, who gave you an offended look.

“But I love you guys a lot. I couldn’t be happier to have friends like you all.”

After your little heart-to-heart speech, they seemed a lot happier.

Lilia came over to cling to you, grabbing your left arm as Grim jumped into your lap, nuzzling you lovingly.

Leona laid down at your feet, curled up. It almost seemed as if he was going to take a nap..

Malleus came over to your left side as well, joining Lilia as he held your hand.

Azul rubbed your back comfortingly as Kalim grabbed your other hand, an uncharacteristic frown on his face.

“But guys, I’m so tired. I’m in so much pain 24/7. I can barely get any sleep because I’m in constant agony.” You complained, frowning as you looked at your legs.

There were little colorful bandages placed on all of your cuts now. But the bruises littered around still remained. They popped out to you more than the neon bandages now.

“I miss home. I miss homecooked meals and my parents! I miss my old, warm bedroom and my bed! My bed at Ramshackle feels like I’m sleeping on concrete. The meals I cook don’t taste the same anymore. Hell I can barely afford food for both me and Grim because Crowley doesn’t give us enough money. There’s been so many nights where I’ve went to bed hungry because I didn’t want Grim to.”

You could feel everyone stare at you as you talked, making you feel embarrassed.

You’re really letting everyone know everything. All the bullshit you’ve went through since you got here.

“And it’s not like I can get a job anywhere around here because no one’s hiring! And I’ve already tried everywhere here. I’ve begged and pleaded with every shop owner here, but no one will hire me because they “don’t need any help” or “already have too much staff”! But I know the real reason is because I’m magicless. I can’t do anything if I don’t have magic!!” You squeezed Malleus’s and Kalims hands as you talked, gritting your teeth as you teared up.

“I’m just…I’m so sick of it guys. I love you all so much but..ever since I got here it’s been problems and battles and various accidents left and right. I’m exhausted. I’m homesick. I’m so burnt out!! Hell, I have no idea how I’m able to keep my grades up when most of these classes involve magic. I think the teachers just take it easy on me..” you trailed off, picking at a neon blue bandaid on your leg.

“I’m so sorry for causing all of this trouble. I never meant for any of this bullshit to happen, I..” you winced as you pulled a little too hard on the bandaid you were picking at.

“…I just wanted to see if he had found me a way home yet..”

The room was flooded with silence once you stopped talking.

No one knew what to say. And, really, what could they say?

Some understood how you felt. Others had no idea, as they have never experienced this before.

However, there was one emotion everyone in that room shared.

Sadness.

They could feel the sadness wash over them like waves as you talked about home and how you miss it.

Malleus’s hand squeezed yours consolingly, making you look up at everyone.

“..Prefect.”

You turned your head towards the voice.

It was Vil.

He never called you prefect. It was always Potato, or Spudling, or Kartoffel!

And Kartoffel is just potato in German..

“I am sorry you are in so much pain. And I am sorry I have caused you so much suffering. If you’d like, I’m quite sure there is some sort of healing potion I can brew for you. That way you are in as little agony possible.” Vil took your hand from Kalim, holding it gently as to not hurt you more than he already has.

This was out of character for Vil. You never saw a soft side of him during the VDC.

But you can’t say you didn’t like it. It has been a while since you’ve been nurtured and taken care of.

Hell that hasn’t happened since..

Since you were at home. With your mother.

“And me and Jamil can cook some food for you!!! A good meal will heal you up!” Kalim said excitedly, leaning against the bed to get closer to you as he talked.

“And you are always welcome at the Mostro Lounge if you ever need some time to relax and take a breather, Prefect.” Azul spoke, still rubbing your back comfortingly.

“As you know, you’re always welcome at Heartslabyul. If you ever want to play some crochet or cards, or simply just want to relax? We’re here.” Riddle spoke, gesturing to Ace, Deuce, Cater, and Trey.

“And if your bed ain’t comfortable, come over to Savanaclaw. My beds comfy and has room for two, Herbivore.” Leona chimed in, sitting up and smirking at you.

You teared up as you looked at everyone.

You can’t believe they care about you so much. That they’d stay here and listen to you talk and offer to help you. That they actually came to see you and are worried about you.

You can’t believe that they..

That they actually care.

Tears ran down your face like waterfalls, making you let go of Vil’s and Malleus’s hands to wipe them away quickly.

“I’m sorry it was never my plan to cry in front of you all..god this so embarrassing..” you sobbed, frantically wiping your tears away.

“Prefect no!! It’s okay to cry. It’s okay. You can cry. We’re here for you.” Kalim spoke calmly, climbing up onto the bed and wrapping his arms around you.

“Kalim is right. It’s okay to cry Prefect. Get it all out..” Riddle agreed, patting your shoulder.

You could feel someone’s pointed nails running through your hair and scraping your scalp gently. It was relaxing, it felt so nice. It made you feel sleepier than you already did.

Azul rubbing your back so softly didn’t help either..

You yawned, leaning against Kalims soft shoulder as you closed your eyes.

“..thank you. I love you all so much…” you spoke sleepily, weakly raising your head to look at everyone.

“Of course Prefect. While you’re sleeping, I’ll go and make that healing potion.”

“And me and Jamil will make you some food while you’re sleeping as well. That way when you wake up, it’ll be ready!”

“Jade and Floyd will bring down some of our finest desserts from the Mostro Lounge.”

“And it can all take place at Heartslabyul. We can all play Crochet and relax together.”

“I’ll take you back to Savanaclaw for now Herbivore. You can sleep in my bed instead of this thing.”

You heard them converse and decide what to do as you slowly fell asleep, feeling lighter and sleepier than you have in a while.

You couldn’t be more thankful to have such amazing friends.

“Sleep well, Prefect.”

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I’m so sleepy, and this is soooo longggg!! But I hope you guys enjoy it!!!!

[taeyongdoyoung]

mind games

summary: taken away by your ex and best friend, you try to do everything in your power to survive another day... characters: reader, sunoo, sunghoon and heeseung (only mentioned in this part) genre: thriller, dark romance(-ish) warnings: kidnapping, reader is tied up (in a non-sexy way), mentions of fake blood, stalking, spitting, handwriting forgery, hidden cameras, invasion of privacy, blade, overall toxic behaviour, kissing, manipulation, biting, tracking device, trauma author's note: hii guys, the title is inspired by this iconic song and to be honest, i had a really hard time writing it due to some bad experiences in the past so if any of this is triggering to you, please proceed with caution! 🤍 part one & part three word count: 2.6k

You wake up in a unfamiliar place. You feel that your hands and feet and are tied up to a chair. Your surroundings are damp, near black and you can barely make out anything. You wonder if you are alone or if one of your kidnappers is somewhere out there, lurking in the dark.

How on earth did you end up here? You thought you were generally a good person. True, you started dating the guy you told your ex "not to worry about" three months after the break-up but it’s not like you cheated. Then again, bad things had the tendency of happening to good people. So maybe it’s not your fault you’re here. You’re right. It’s Sunghoon and Sunoo’s fault!

Sunghoon, you can understand. He’d always been a jealous, possessive little freak. But Sunoo? To pretend he’s your best friend and work with Sunghoon behind your back? Damnit, you should have investigated suspect number two more seriously before trusting him too much. That part is completely your fault, you admit to yourself.

"You awake?" you hear Sunoo’s adorable voice, which does little to ease your panic.

"Gee, I had a crazy nightmare, Sunnie. Dreamt that my best friend kidnapped me along with my ex. Isn’t that a good story?" you respond sarcastically.

"Listen, it would have been much easier if you came with us willingly," Sunoo pats your cheek gently.

"Willingly? How insane are you, actually?"

"Come oooon, me and Sunghoon-hyung can treat you so much better than Heeseung."

You shake your head in disbelief.

"Just tell me one thing. Were you behind the stalking as well?"

"Which part? Sunghoon took the photos of you and stole some of your clothes. But the creepy dolls covered in blood was all me."

First of all, ew. Second of all, WHAT THE FUCK?

"Where did you get the blood from?" you finally dare to ask.

"It’s fake blood, silly. It looks so real, right?" Sunoo cackles maniacally.

"You need help. Like serious, professional help, Sunoo. I’m only saying that because despite everything I still care about you. If you get me out of here, I’ll make sure you receive the proper treatment you need and-"

"Get you out?" he laughs again. "Why would I do that? We can be such a lovely family of three. Trust me, you’ll never want to leave."

You already want to leave.

Hours later, Sunghoon appears and Sunoo leaves. You suppose kidnappers still have jobs to go to whenever they’re not spending time with their victims. God, this is so wrong.

"How have you been, princess?" Sunghoon asks.

You don’t reward him with an answer and spit in his face. Very dumb of you but oh well.

Sunghoon wipes the spit with his gloved hand and squats in front of you.

"Not a very enthusiastic welcome, I see. Don’t worry, I’ll be patient. You’ll get used to us in no time."

"I’m not getting used to anything. Let me the fuck go!"

"Hmm, I don’t think so," Sunghoon wraps his arms around your legs like a fucking snake. He may not have bitten you but you feel his poison spreading further down your body. What if you’re meant to suffocate here?

"It’s only a matter of time before Heeseung calls the cops and they find me," you bluff. You can only hope Heeseung will come for you.

"He probably won’t. See, I wrote him a little letter. You remember how good I am at copying your handwriting? Well, I never thought it’d come in…well, pun-intended but handy. In the letter I tell Heeseung that you’re still in love with me so you’re leaving him and ran away with me. I’m so creative, aren’t I?"

"You’re sick in the head! Heeseung’s never gonna buy that!" you scream and you pray you’re right.

"Wanna check? I put hidden cameras at your place, if Heeseung was there, we can see his reaction."

God, this is worse than you thought. You really should have contacted the police earlier. Helpful or not, it would have been something.

And indeed, Sunghoon shows you a video of Heeseung opening said letter, reading it and then sighing deeply. Alas, he doesn't look in a huge hurry to find you. Or maybe, he's just that good of an actor...

"What are you going to do to me?" you ask Sunghoon, horrified now that your hope of Heeseung finding you diminishes by the hour.

"Nothing," Sunghoon replies simply. "I just wanna be with you. Away from him." The him in question is Heeseung, you deduce. "Forever."

The word forever never tasted so bitter.

"What about Sunoo? Why is he helping you?"

"I think he has a little crush on me. So I'm using him," Sunghoon shrugs, as if it's the simplest answer in the world.

First of all, a little crush is definitely an understatement. No one helps his best friend's ex kidnap his best friend over a little crush. Sunoo's feelings are reaching a dangerous magnitude. You don't dare imagine how far he'd be willing to go for Sunghoon's sake. And second of all, the fact that Sunghoon's using Sunoo and doesn't reciprocate his feelings might be helpful for you in the future. So, you tuck that information safely into your mind for later.

But until then, you gotta play the game well enough in order to survive. You never know when Sunghoon or Sunoo might snap and feel like killing you. Psychopaths like that are totally unpredictable. So, you make it your mission to smoothly pretend you have zero plans of escaping.

"Poor Sunoo," you sigh, targeting Sunghoon's jealousy issues. "And here I thought he had a crush on me and wants to share me with you."

"As beautiful as you are, not everyone on this plaent is madly in love with you, princess," Sunghoon laughs, suddenly amused by your words. "And if it's anyone doing the sharing, it'd be me. But I don't share."

He smirks darkly and kisses you. His lips are venomous poison. You kiss him back even though every bone in your body is telling you no. But after being so foolish before, you have to be clever enough now. Clever enough to trick him. Clever enough to live.

Sunghoon wraps his hands around the back of your neck, kissing you more deeply. Your tongue battles against his desperately, trying to convey every bit of your hatred and make him mistake it for love. He's laughing against your lips. But you're determined to make sure you have the last laugh.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Sunghoon chuckles in disbelief you kissed him back.

Yes! Y/N: 1. Sunghoon: 0.

"You taste just as I remember. Coffee."

"Your favourite taste," Sunghoon nods thoughtfully.

You don't dare tell him that lately, you like ramen more...

"You should be nice to Sunoo," you advise Sunghoon, even though it won't help you. Not immediately, anyway. "You never know when he might turn against you."

"He won't. But I'm nice enough. Or else he wouldn't have helped me in the first place."

"When did you two become so close anyway?"

"Right after you broke up with me. He would constantly call me and meet up in secret. He'd keep me posted on how you were doing. Show me pictures and stuff. He said that just because you and I were no longer together didn't mean that he couldn't be friends with me."

That sly little fox. And here you were, mistaking Sunoo for your best friend. Then again, you are no saint, either, considering you moved on with Heeseung so quickly. But after the way Sunghoon had treated you, it was only natural you were drawn by Heeseung's warmth.

"Interesting. How does he put up with your mint choco-hating ass?" you tease Sunghoon.

"He's strangely forgiving in that respect," Sunghoon responds.

You smile fondly, recalling all your mint choco dates with your best friend. You will never forgive him.

A while later, Sunoo returns, immediately brightening up the room with his presence. But now you know it's all a façade. The real him is not the sun, but the darkest sky.

"Heyyy, hyung, missed me?" he greets Sunghoon.

"So much, sunshine," Sunghoon ruffles Sunoo's hair, the action so smooth and affectionate it gives you goosebumps. You aspire to be such a talented actress.

"Did noona give you trouble?" Sunoo asks teasingly.

"Not really, she's quite docile now," Sunghoon shrugs, not suspecting anything.

"I'm right here, you know?" you roll your eyes.

"Aww, Y/Nnie, don't be jealous, it's not a good quality," Sunoo messes with you.

Pfft. If there's anyone guilty of jealousy in this room, it's definitely not you.

"As much as I hate to leave you two angels all alone, I have business to attend to," Sunghoon announces. "Take care of her, yeah?"

"Will do!" Sunoo promises excitedly.

Once alone with Sunoo, you set your sinister plan in motion.

"Sunnie, you do realize Sunghoon's only using you, right? He told me so himself. He'll never love you. He's incapable of loving anyone but himself."

"Why would I believe you?" Sunoo snickers. "You'd say anything to get me to untie you."

"Screw that, you know I like things like that," you joke. Though you prefer things like that in a safe, consensual environment, it doesn't hurt to try misleading Sunoo.

"Ha-ha, very funny," Sunoo squeezes your cheeks affectionately.

You sigh deeply. Okay, you're gonna have to try harder.

"Haven't you asked yourself why Sunghoon's always wearing gloves? So he can leave no fingerprints! Meanwhile, you're spreading your DNA all over the crime scene."

"This isn't a crime scene, we're just making a home for ourselves!" Sunoo shouts in denial. "And...h-hyung likes gloves, they're a fashion statement. They look hot on him!"

"When the police finds us, Sunghoon won't be here and he'll make you take the fall for it," you hypothesize

"What do you mean when?" Sunoo is starting to panic a little now. "They won't find us. No one knows where we are. Right?"

You smile sinisterly.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

A while later, Sunoo leaves again and you remain alone with Sunghoon. Your worst nightmare.

"Hi, princess," he kisses you, as if what you two have is completely normal. As if it's okay. You kiss him back, as if you mean it. As if you love him back. "How have you been?"

"Oh, you know, splendid. My favourite place in the world," you chuckle bitterly.

"Ever the spoiled brat, I see. At least I'm giving you food and water, no?"

"Ah, yes, I'm living the dream," you keep responding sarcastically. But nothing too bad, you're still afraid he might snap. Also, you haven't mentioned Heeseung since you got here. You figured it would just be poking the bear or something. So, you play nice. Or as nice as you can be, given the circumstances.

"You know, this could be so much easier if you just cooperated. I could even untie you someday. We could go to Paris, I know how much you've wanted to go there. We could go back to the way we used to be. Just us two."

"What about Sunoo?"

"Well, he can tag along, I don't mind."

"What, like Bonnie and Clyde and their pet or some shit?" Except, you'd be the fucking pet 'cause you're no criminal.

"Yeah, that sounds nice, don't you think?"

It does sound nice. But you'll never agree to this. Even if Sunghoon was the last man on Earth, you still wouldn't go with him anywhere willingly. He lost not only your trust but your heart. And he's never getting it back. But you pretend anyways.

"Yeah, that sounds amazing," you lie through your teeth. "Maybe we'll get there one day."

"You can learn to love me again," Sunghoon says it not as a question but as a statement. And with such conviction it almost makes you sad. Almost.

"I can," you repeat the lie as if hypnotized. But he can't. Because this isn't love. It's obsession, dark and twisted, and you would do anything in your power to escape its deadly grasp.

Sunghoon kisses you and you bite his lips angrily in the process. He mistakes it for passion. Good. Let him be the fool. You've been playing that role yourself for too long. It's his turn now.

Hours melt into days. You know that the police requires at least 48 hours to start looking for a missing person so you try to be patient when waiting. But patience has a limit and Sunghoon is getting on your nerves more and more with every second. Sunoo, as well, with him pretending he's the sweetest bean ever but actually the devil in disguise. You just wish you could be found and rescued already. You desperately wish you could be back in the safety of Heeseung's arms. But you know it won't be that easy.

Throughout your stay here, you try your best to ensure you'll make it out alive. Sunghoon or Sunoo only untie to let you take care of your natural needs and don't take any chances so there is no opportunity for you to investigate where exactly you're located, let alone try to escape. But that's besides the point. You have a plan. And you just hope it doesn't go to shit.

"Just let me go, Sunoo, if you don't, you'll regret it, I promise you," you keep pleading with him gently.

"Why would I regret it?" Sunoo traces his blade alongside your neck. Damn, he's addicted to that thing.

"I can't tell you," you smile cruelly.

"If you don't tell me, I'll hurt you," he threatens you vaguely.

"You already did," mentally you mean. "But if you actually use that blade on me, Sunghoon won't be very happy with you. Do you want to make him angry?"

Sunoo shakes and takes a step back, dropping the blade. He's been creeping you out and yet, still...such a sweet child. God, you're conflicted.

On the fifth day, the miracle happens. Storming inside is a whole crew of cops, whom you previously distrusted (okay, lesson learned) and Heeseung comes along with them. You are quickly untied and a medic checks for any injuries (there aren't any physical ones, other than the mental trauma that comes with being kidnapped and stalked by your ex and former best friend).

How were you found so fast, one may ask? Well, you were slightly wary of Sunoo. Heeseung, you never doubted. So, the day before you waited awake for Sunghoon to arrive, you asked Heeseung to help you install a tracking device inside your skin. Your gut feeling was telling you that if something bad were to happen to you, your phone would be destroyed. A small chip, however, would be difficult to notice. The device got slightly damaged in the process of being kidnapped, so it was difficult for the police and Heeseung to catch a signal rightaway. Which is why it took five days. But still, you consider yourself somewhat lucky. Some people remain kidnapped for years...Others are never found.

Regrettably, Sunghoon is nowhere to be located. That bastard. They apprehend Sunoo quickly and he claims that he did it all by himself. Fucking idiot, why is he so loyal to Sunghoon? You insist that he worked together with your ex but the cops say that you might be so traumatized you're hallucinating another person. Why is that, you wonder? Oh, wait. 'Cause there are no fucking fingerprints of Sunghoon's, of course. Those stupid gloves of his may be the smartest thing he's ever done.

You know that you'll have to work harder to make sure Sunghoon is detained as soon as possible. You know that you'll somehow have to convince Sunoo to testify against Sunghoon. You know that your creepy ex won't give you up so easily. You know that you'll have to be smarter, more resilient and perhaps more careful who you trust.

Right now, your mind is your biggest weapon to play this sick game. But it doesn't end here. This is just the beginning.

To be continued...

[eroscomet]

Make it Right

Chapter three- Afraid

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Paring: Astrid Deetz x Fem!Ghost!Reader

Warnings: Talks about readers death, a bit angsty.

A/N: TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY, LET'S GO. I had to get the grind on yall. I've been leaving you guys dry with nothinggg. I hope that you guys enjoy this. I can't say that i'm fully out of my writers block but I do know that I have quite a bit of motivation. Also, I'm writing some new things as well, a Hermione fic, an Olivia Rodrigo fic, and I'm getting a Jenna fic started as well. I have some Oneshots in my drafts currently that I might release some time. Also, i'm sorry in advance if there's any mistakes, I wrote this whole thing in like an hour.

Proof read

╰┈➤Series Masterlist

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“What’s the frown for, dead girl?” Astrid murmured, gently running her thumb over your cold skin, which she had been so desperately trying to get accustomed to.

“I’m never going to be alive again. What if you lose your ability and never see my ghost again?” Your arm instinctively leaned into her warm touch.

“Y/N, i’m not going to suddenly just stop having this ability.” Her reassurance felt nice but did little against your fears. Her fingers raised to gently pinch your cheek, trying to bring a faint smile to your lips, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep seeing your pretty ghost face no matter what.”

A soft smile appeared on your face, wanting to believe Astrid’s words. Allowing yourself to get carried away by the thought as you continue to lean your cold, dead skin closer to Astrid’s warm, live touch.

“Even having gone through death, you’re still clingy.” Her tone was one of fondness.

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Weeks had gone by, Astrid stopped by your house whenever she could and even when she couldn’t, you’d roam the town trying to find her like a lost puppy. She was the only one who could see and talk to you, without her, you were lost in a sea of people who couldn’t see or hear you. However, you did know Astrid the best, knowing where to find her whether it’s at school or at the Deetz household.

Currently, Astrid was sitting in her bedroom, trying to desperately study for a test that she had the following day. It was late at night, with Astrid only having her desk lamp on to prove enough light to illuminate her work. She let out a small huff, frustrated as the words were beginning to blur together on the paper. Raking a hand through her messy hair, she sat back in her chair.

“God damnit.”

“Boo.” You joked as you phased through her room’s door, smiling. Emitting a sharp gasp at the sudden voice, her head whipping around to look at the door.

“God! Don’t do that!” Astrid nearly yelled, her hand over her chest as she gave you a glare. She had thought she was alone in her room. So the sudden voice almost gave her whiplash.

“I’m a ghost, it’s what I'm supposed to do, no?” You replied with a laugh as you fully phased your body through the door, entering Astrid’s room. The Handbook for the Recently Deceased in her hand, “I’ve been reading up on this and there's a way to return to life, you know?”

Astrid had let out a small scoff, rolling her eyes at the handbook in your hands. She had always thought that it was a bunch of horseshit. She stood up from her chair as her girlfriend entered the room, crossing her arms over her chest, “Don’t bullshit me, dead girl. You’re a Ghost - you can’t just suddenly come back to life.”

“No, but I can trade a life for my soul. It says so in the book, that I need to find someone living that’s willing to give me life in exchange for theirs but…i’m having no luck. You’d be surprised how hard it is to talk to people who can’t hear you.” You said jokingly with a smile.

“Why am I not surprised?” She replied with an amused scoff at your joke, “Is that the only way for you to return?”

“Well, that and or marrying the living.” You said as you opened up the book, looking down at the page. “Though, I am a bit iffy on this option. It wasn’t from the book, it was offered to me by this man with green hair and a weird white and black striped suit. He said something about if I help him find his ‘bride-to-be’, all i’d have to do is find a person with a life to marry and he’d be able to send me back to the living.”

For a moment, Astrid simply stared at you, trying to process what you had just told her. It sounded batshit insane, but then again - it’s not like the world was any less insane at this point either. She walked towards her girlfriend, glancing down at the book. A slightly skeptical look on her face. Still, she put a hand on her hip, taking a moment to think about it.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. All you have to do is marry a living person and you’re good?”

“No, I have to find this guy’s bride-to-be or whatever. He honestly went on some monologue about her and I zoned out. He didn’t want to give me any information unless I agreed to take his offer. I think he said his name was Beetlejuice?”

“Beetlejuice?” She repeated with a raised eyebrow. The name sounded vaguely familiar to her but she couldn’t remember where she had heard the name before. She let out a sigh, moving back to her desk to take a seat in her chair once more. Raking a hand through her hair as she looked at you, “Okay, let’s just say I do believe this for a second - How are you supposed to find this bride-to-be for some weird Beetle-dude?”

“He’ll give me her name and a photo of her. He says all I need to do is find her and have someone alive say his name three times.”

She hummed quietly as she listened and thought over everything for a moment. It was starting to get into crazy territory for Astrid, but it’s not like anything that happened in this god forsaken town wasn’t already crazy.

“Okay, dead girl. Let’s say we do find the bride. What then? Who’s going to say the name three times?”

“I was hoping you could help? He says that his bride or whatever can also see the dead or something.” You shrugged.

“God, you’re a pain sometimes. Fine, I’ll say the damn name three times if we find this bride” She said with a small amused huff. Of course you were going to ask her to help out with something that sounded crazy enough to work.

“Also… You need to marry me for me to return to the living.” You said as you looked at Astrid. This was a big ask of you, and one that sounded irrational but how else could you return? Your hand began to gently pull the hairs on the back of your neck, nervously.

Astrid stared at you in slight disbelief at your words. Marriage - actual marriage. A part of Astrid’s mind began to wander, imagining what it would be like to marry you. Then she pushed the thought aside, remembering they were technically teenagers.

“Y/N, you can’t be serious about the marriage part. We’re teengaers.” 

“So, what, I'm supposed to wait years to return to living?” Your voice was a bit defensive, “What if his offer doesn’t stand by then?”

“Y/N, why are you so dead set on returning to life anyway?” She asked with a frown tugging at her lips, her tone was now more soft than skeptical.

“Because I'm dead and I'm cold and everyone sees through me but you. Even you can’t touch me for long before you practically freeze to the bone!” You said, your voice had wavered a bit as you became vulnerable by the question.

Astrid’s expression softened at your words, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, you had a fair point. It was hard for her to touch you for extended periods - even if Astrid loved holding you. But at the same time, Astrid couldn’t help but also feel a pang of guilt at her words.

“But you know I don’t mind if we can’t touch for that long. Plus, i’m the only one that can see you - that’s special, don’t you think?”

“And what about my family? I’ve been dead for a year almost two!”

She felt like her heart almost dropped at your words, she couldn’t imagine how hard this had to be for you, being separated from your family - not only by death but by her own ability. She gently laid her hand on yours, trying to offer some comfort. Unsure about marrying you, but her reluctance lessened a little at your words.

“You miss your family.” She mumbled, more of a statement than a question. She squeezed your cold hand, her other going to your cheek, caressing your skin gently. She let out a soft sigh, trying to organize her thoughts - but her mind was getting progressively more conflicted.

“God, this would be so much easier if I just said yes. It sounds like the best idea, but…” Her thoughts trailed off as she slowly retracted her hand from your cheek.

“You don’t want to marry me.” You said quietly as you realized, not needing to read her mind to know what she was thinking. You pulled away from your girlfriend’s touch, biting your lip.

Her gaze immediately whipped back up to look at you, her expression was a mix of shock and confusion.

“No, that’s-” She began, a frown quickly plastering itself on her face. She reached her hand out toward you, trying to grab your again. “-It’s not that, Y/N.”

“I’ve gotta go. My second deathiversary is coming up tomorrow.” You said as you stood up, not waiting for Astrid’s reply. You simply phased through her wall, leaving her alone in her room.

“Y/N, wait!” She explained, standing up to follow after her ghost girlfriend. She dashed over to the wall that you had phased through, trying to grab your hand before you left. However, Astrid’s hand only went through empty air - you had already left.

“God damnit.” She mumbled, cursing under her breath as she let out an exasperated sigh.

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When the next day came, you found yourself sitting at a bench at the graveyard. Watching as your family visited your grave. Despite no one being able to see you, you wore all black since it felt most appropriate for the situation. Astrid had walked up to the graveyard, noticing you sitting on the bench in all black. Letting out a small, quiet sigh, she began to walk over towards you, but then stopped for a moment. Her eyes looked towards your grave, noting your family visiting and talking in front of the grave, probably leaving things for you to ‘use’ in the afterlife. 

“Astrid, honey! You made it! I can’t believe she died two years ago, huh? Still feels like yesterday.” Your mother said as she quickly walked towards Astrid, unable to see your ghost which was sitting right behind Astrid.

Astrid let out a strained smile, nodding her head. That smile was mostly fake, stealing a glance over at you.

“Yeah, yeah…it really doesn’t feel like it's been that long…” She mumbled, mostly playing along. However, the sight of your family made Astrid’s heart pang with guilt.

“I’m sure Y/N would’ve wanted her girlfriend here.” Your mom said with a pitiful smile as she put her hand on Astrid’s shoulder hesitantly.

“Yeah, she would have.” She responded quietly, trying to keep the guilt out of her voice as she glanced over at you, who only stared at your mother.

“Yeah, you know I just can’t believe…” Your mom had begun speaking, her pitiful voice drowning out as you began speaking.

“Can you tell her that I love her?” You said as you stared at your mother. 

How was Astrid supposed to tell your mother that her head daughter says that she loves her? “That would sound absolutely insane, especially to such an attention seeking mother-” Astrid quickly cut off her thoughts as she didn’t want to take them too far. She simply tried to listen to what your mother was saying, but your sudden words made her almost immediately forget. 

“How am I supposed to tell a mother that her daughter, who has been dead for two years, loves her?! I’d sound more insane than my own mother!”

Astrid glanced between you and your mother, trying to think of what to do. Her mind racing with thoughts, trying to find a way out of this situation. Her mind kept drawing blanks, and then she heard your mother speak again.

“Don’t you think?” Was all that Astrid had heard as your mother looked at her expectantly with a smile.

“Yes, I do think that.” Astrid replied, nodding her head and sending your mother a fake smile that she knew would satisfy her. She cursed herself internally for not listening to what she said before, nodding her head to your mothers words. She had no idea what she was agreeing to, all she knew was that she didn’t want to be speaking to your mother right now.

“That’s what I thought! This baby is exactly what this family needed. I’m very excited for Vera’s baby shower. I knew you’d agree that naming the baby Y/N would be a good idea.” Your mother said with a smile. 

Vera, your older sister who is twenty-two years old, apparently planning to name her first child after her sister, Y/N. Astrid knew it was purely out of her selfishness and wanting the attention directed at herself and not Y/N. She didn’t want to be in Y/N’s shadow after your death because her entire life she’d been the center of your parents' affections and attention.

Astrid’s eyes widened slightly at her words, the realization slowly dawning on her as to what your mother was saying to her. A part of her felt like she just had a bucket of water thrown on her. Your sister was pregnant and naming the baby after you and your mother had just asked Astrid’s opinion on it, knowing Astrid dated you. Astrid knew she should probably say something, but the words just froze in her throat. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words escaped her. She was happy that your family still loved and missed you, even if they displayed it in an attention seeking way.

Astrid felt guilty and almost selfish for wanting to keep you to herself, she bit her bottom lip and glanced in your direction. Your mother’s smile slowly began to fade, a look of confusion taking its place as she looked over to the direction Astrid looked, but seeing no one and nothing. Astrid’s eyes flicked up to see your mother staring at her, clearly wanting Astrid to give some kind of answer.

“You must be grief-ridden. I’ll bother you no more, but just know that you’re invited to the baby shower.” Your mother said pitifully as she shook her head, excusing herself and walking back over to your family at your grave.

“Yeah, so is half the town, don’t go feeling special with my mother.” You said with a small indignant scoff.

“Gee, thanks for the commentary.” She quipped under her breath, “You can cut the attitude, you know.”

“I’ve got eternity to hold this attitude. Literally, now that there's no way for me to return to living.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be so..” Astrid paused for a moment, trying to find the right words, before eventually sighing and just deciding to say bluntly, “..bitchy, for lack of a better term.”

You slightly scoffed, you were somewhat amused but also annoyed. Shaking your head, you stood up and began walking away. Astrid was going to catch up to you but once you phased through a tree, you disappeared into thin air.

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A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, more to come I promise. Thank you so much for the love and support. Remember that you can request something on my page if you're interested! I promise to get on it asap. Anyways, bye lovelies!

[anonymous-dentist]

Part two of the Catboy in the Village AU

-

Cellbit wakes up handcuffed, which really doesn't bode well.

He's... moving. He's sitting up with his head pillowed on something soft, yet firm, and he's moving.

Ah. So he has been kidnapped, then. Great.

Groaning, Cellbit hides his face in his pillow's shoulder, confident that he isn't sticking his face anywhere it shouldn't be. He knows this shoulder, it's one of his favorites.

"Buenos días, gatinho," Roier warmly says. A kiss lands itself in Cellbit's hair right between his ears.

Cellbit fights the urge to purr (not now!), and he murmurs, "Am I going to be angry when I open my eyes?"

"Mmm, probably."

Cellbit sighs. So it's like that, then.

Eyes still closed, he pricks his ears up and tries to take in his environment. Horses, someone guiding them. Wheels noisily turning. Roier breathing, Cellbit himself breathing, someone else breathing. Three people total in the carriage- because they have to be in one, Cellbit doubts a supposed "prince" would be left to travel in a simple wagon.

Absolutely no signs of Richarlyson and Pepito. No arguing, no crying, no complaining. Nothing.

Slowly, Cellbit lets out a breath. He's calm.

"Roier," he asks, "where are our children?"

Roier stiffens minutely beneath him. "Um."

"Your children are fine," someone else says, and, ah, it would be her, wouldn't it?

Cellbit swallows his anger. He's calm.

He sits up, scooting closer to Roier so their arms are brushing because he is not about to be away from him right now. He opens his eyes, and he stares at the woman who has to be the newly-crowned Queen of the Gato Kingdom, and he hates.

"Your highness," he coolly says. "Where the fuck are my children?"

The queen's eyebrow twitches. "Don't call me that."

"Your highness. My children?"

"Not... with us at the moment, but I have my finest knights searching for them as we speak. Once we find them-"

She screeches as Cellbit lunges at her with his fangs bared. He can't use his hands, but that's fine, he was in prison once, he knows how to tear a throat out without using his claws.

He "oof"s as he's swiftly kicked in the chest by a heeled shoe and shoved back into his seat opposite the queen.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" the queen demands.

Cellbit answers her with a snarl and a second attempt at political assassination. This time, though, he's stopped by Roier, who grabs him around the middle with both arms and pulls him to his chest.

Immediately, Cellbit feels his body relax. Damnit.

"I told you you'd be angry," Roier hums.

He slips a hand under Cellbit's shirt and just leaves it splayed across his stomach. The queen looks mildly disturbed. What, is she homophobic, too? Rich and homophobic? Pick a struggle.

"Of course I'm angry," Cellbit sneers. He glares at the queen, who glares right back. "We've been kidnapped."

The queen rolls her eyes. "You aren't being kidnapped. You are being escorted."

"In handcuffs!"

"Yeah!" Roier agrees. "Only I can put my husband in handcuffs!"

The queen's face goes mildly green. Oh, so she is homophobic. Great.

Cellbit, though, groans and slams his head against Roier's shoulder. Roier just grins at him, the piece of shit.

"Well," the queen hesitantly says, "it was either this or ropes."

Roier protests, "Only I can put my husband in ro-"

He cuts himself off with a moan as Cellbit pinches his thigh.

"Cállate," Cellbit huffs. "She doesn't need to know."

"I really don't," the queen agrees, complete with a nod of the head. "You're my brother, I don't want or need to be hearing any of this."

(Not that the 'any of this' is real. The most extreme thing Cellbit and Roier have done in bed is play board games and lose the pieces in their blankets, but it's just so fun to make people uncomfortable.)

"I'm not," Cellbit tells her.

He tilts his head back and looks up at Roier. "Did you know that she thinks I'm the missing Gato Kingdom prince?"

Roier laughs. "What, really? You?"

Cellbit smiles. "I know, right?"

"I'm right here," the queen flatly says. "And you are my brother. His name is Cellbit, your name is Cellbit. You have feline features. Only members of-"

Cellbit finishes her sentence for her: "-the Gato royal family are cat hybrids. I know. But you're wrong."

The queen crosses her arms and her legs, her foot bouncing impatiently on the floor.

"Oh, yeah?" she asks. "How?"

"Because," Cellbit simply says.

Nothing else.

Roier snorts. He adjusts his hold on Cellbit, halfway pulling him onto his lap and hooking his chin over Cellbit's shoulder.

Cellbit looks down at Roier's very un-handcuffed hands and pouts.

"Why aren't you restrained?" he complains.

"Because I haven't tried to kill the queen," Roier smugly says. He pokes Cellbit's nose, making Cellbit go cross-eyed. "This is what you get, pendejo."

"Fuck you," Cellbit grumbles. "You didn't try to fight her a little? For me?"

"Nah. I killed all her knights, though."

Gods.

Cellbit's eyes practically glitter. "Wow. I bet you got real sweaty."

Roier nods. "And I took my shirt off."

Gods!!

Cellbit turns to glare at the queen. "You made me miss that!"

The queen's mouth opens in shock. "You tried stabbing me!"

"And you kidnapped me! I think stabbing you would've been worth it!"

"Calma, gatinho," Roier lightly says. He slips his other hand under Cellbit's shirt; his two hands link together, his thumb rubbing soothing little circles above Cellbit's bellybutton. "Don't threaten royalty when I don't have my sword."

"You aren't being kidnapped!" the queen shouts. "This could've gone a lot easier if you had just come with me to begin with!"

"And why the fuck would I do that?" Cellbit sneers.

"Because I'm your sister, idiot!"

"I'm an orphan, idiot!"

The queen bodily flinches, recoiling into the back of her seat with wide eyes and a trembling mouth.

Sensing a tense moment, Roier takes the opportunity to say, "You know, maybe he isn't your brother. Maybe I'm your brother, hm? Maybe my ears fell off in the war."

It's just the kind of statement that would blow Pepito's mind. Pepito, oh, Pepito...

Cellbit wants his kids.

The queen ignores Roier. She continues staring at Cellbit, instead.

"What happened to you?" she asks, voice hoarse.

Cellbit gives her a flat look in response. "What hasn't. I'm not who you think I am. I'm... me. You have the wrong guy."

He twists his wrists in his handcuffs. They're simple enough...

"This really isn't a good first impression," Roier adds.

As Roier continues speaking, Cellbit pops his thumb out of its socket and starts subtly pulling his hand through the cuff.

Roier says, "Like, I get you wanted to see him, but this is kinda fucked, you know? You couldn't have sent a letter? We could have had brunch, but, noooooo, you just had to show up like this and freak him out."

"I'm not freaked out," Cellbit grumbles.

(And now the other hand...)

"I didn't want it to be this way," the queen says. She looks painedly at Cellbit. "It's- I- we need you back, Cellbit. Our parents- the king and queen are both dead. You promised that you would help me when I took the throne. I've been looking for you for years, and-"

"Okay," Roier interrupts. "See? Talking's good. Gatinho, do you have anything to say?"

"Yeah," Cellbit replies. He looks at the queen, and he says, "Guapito, hold on."

He sticks his tongue out at the queen (childish, maybe, but she's pissing him off), and he slams himself against the carriage door.

And... nothing happens.

He smacks his head, and he sees stars, and he falls backwards onto the carriage's floor with a pained grunt.

The queen gives him a mocking look. "What, you didn't think I would lock the door? You really are my brother, dumbass. You haven't changed a bit."

Roier, at least, looks somewhat pitying.

"That would've been cool if it had worked?" he tries.

Cellbit just groans in response and drops his head back down onto the floor.

He used to be an escape artist. And now he's trapped in a carriage with an insane woman.

"Sit tight," the queen says, settling back into her seat and making sure to kick Cellbit in the side as she does so. "It's a long trip back to the castle."

"If I don't see my children when we're there, I'll actually kill you," Cellbit threatens.

Her lips quirk into a smirk. "You can try."

And he hates her.

[gwydionmisha]

The Perils of Translation: The Law According to Lidia Poët/La legge di Lidia Poët

I have Netflix access again. I have watched very few things in the last two years, so if you have a recommendation, feel free to suggest.

In related news I was watching the second season of The Law According to Lidia Poët/La legge di Lidia Poët and realized at some point they weren't translating a certain curse word. The reason I hadn't noticed was 1. It's pretty clearly the Italian version of my late father's favorite curse word to yell at people in traffic. it sounded so much like the French version I didn't notice when 2. The subtitles included it in Italian.

Once I did finally notice it had been going on like this for… idk. I didn't bother checking 1st season and it was pretty late in second season. I clocked multiple instances when I did notice it.

At first I thought, "Are they Bowdlerizing this?" But usually when they Bowdlerize subtitles or close captioning, they replace the word with things like "darn" or find a way to leave it out. which is infuriating, but also occasionally accidentally funny. (I went to see La Vie en Rose in the local art cinema when it first came out and laughed my ass off because they had the notoriously foul mouthed Edith Piaf saying gosh and darn when that was absolutely not what she was saying and the juxtaposition was hilarious. I got a lot of weird looks. Apparently I was the only one in the theater who knew French profanity).

Then I thought about the word itself. I don't speak Italian, but given the givens such as context, delivery, etc. I'm betting it has the same meaning. If it does, then that might have created a serious dilemma for the translators. If you do a literal translation it carries a completely different weight in English and would definitely distort the meaning that it would have conveyed in French and I'm betting the same in Italian. If you translate it based on how people use it and look for an English language curse word with similar cultural weight and usage, you need to leave direct translation behind.

What you want here is a beautifully dressed (seriously the costuming for men and women in this thing is so, so good), properly brought up upper middle class woman of the late 19th century saying a word that men were only supposed to say and never in front of ladies. If this were the 19th century, the idiomatic choice might be "Fuck!" because the literal translation is right out. Except Americans of all ages and genders say "Fuck" now. Literal translation is still way too strong in English and distorts meaning because we don't use that word as an expletive, but as a gendered insult. Most everything else I can think of like, say "damnit" isn't strong and shocking enough or has other problems. For example "Motherfucker" would shock you right out of period, by sounding to modern. "Son of a Bitch," maybe? Idk. "Fuck" might still be your best choice.

So I'm thinking they kept the word in Italian as her tone and performance carry it well enough, though not quite the level of period cultural meaning to an English ear.

Translation is hard, fam.

I am just really excited they are getting a third season.

[la-gotica-fantasma]

visions

characters - newt x gn!reader

setting - the safe haven (i just love the angst of being okay but stuck in a time you weren't. that, and i love writing newt to be okay.)

word count - 645 (SHORT AS HELLLL)

warnings - hallucinations, blood/gore, panic attack, slight cussing

summary - You've been hallucinating lately, from just little things like smells or sounds to the faces of the people you lost on the way to this newfound home of yours. Newt finds you struggling and comforts you (as best he can).

authors notes - been hallucinating a little more recently so i just thought this one up.

It was just supposed to be a break, you just wanted a break from people.

Everyone has seemingly expected you to be back to how were in the Glade, but you've changed.

You sat on your cot, taking in whatever alone time you could get.

But you didn't feel alone. You didn't seem alone. You sat with that dreadful feeling.

The strong smell of something burning filled your nose, but you knew it wasn't real, you knew it was just another one of those hallucinations you've been having.

The sound of buzzing began crowding the room, another hallucination.

They stayed there for a few minutes, you were already overwhelmed from before, these were not helping whatsoever.

But you're strong. Nothing you can't handle, right?

Until the image of Alby appears beside you, only for a split moment, but so realistic it was like you could reach out and touch him.

You turned away from where you saw the glimpse of him, only for your eyes to find what looked like a pool of blood, crawling towards you.

This was all becoming too much.

You snap your head back to where it was before.

Alby. Zart. Stephen. Chuck. Ben. Jeff. Winston. Nick. Teresa.

All appearing in a carousal-like manner.

They disappeared just as quick as they had come, but that didn't shake the feeling they left.

Tears rushed to your eyes just as guilt had reached your mind.

Frantically grabbing at your shins, scooting quickly across your cot to the wall.

Your lungs felt like they were getting too much air and not enough simultaneously, making your breathing erratic. Your hands felt tingly and numb, you felt numb, but you also felt nothing alike to numb, all at once. It felt like the world was too big and your hut far too small.

You thought you heard a knock, but you couldn't trust what you may have heard.

The knock came again, then a heavily accented voice, "[Name]?" Damnit.

You would have gotten up and pretended nothing was wrong, but you felt like you couldn't move.

You were stuck.

"Love, I can tell something's wrong, I can hear you sniffling from here. I'm going to come in and immediately shut the door, okay?" He kept true to his word, opening the door as little as he could to slip through the crack, and immediately shutting the door after himself.

Turning around from the door he rushed over to you like he never had to do something more, wrapping his arms around you and letting your head rest on his chest.

"Hey, hey [Name], c'mon we gotta try and fix that bloody breathin' of ya's." Hugging you a little tighter, but careful not to hurt you or discomfort you.

"C'mon just breathe with me- you're okay, I'm here, nothing bad'll happen. Just follow my breathing, please." He tried his best to sound held together, but seeing you break made it harder for him to stay as calm as he wished to.

Your breathing began to slow, but your mind was still in the same place it was moments prior.

"I saw them- I saw them Newt. I see them everywhere I go." You trembled.

"Saw who, love?" Newt urged.

"Everyone we've lost."

The morbidity was palpable.

"I can't stop hallucinating-" Choked sobs escape as you turn and hide yourself in arms. "Every night, every damn night is a fight" Another sob.

His arms slightly repositioning, to let you know he was still listening.

"I'm exhausted- I'm tired. I just want it to stop." You were pleading at this point.

"I- I can't take it away, but I'm here, whether you want it or not. I'm here and I won't leave, I promise. And we'll work through it, okay?" He was mumbling by now, saying whatever he thought would help soothe whatever was happening.

"Okay."

[memesfortas]

"The Thief" Sentence Meme

All quotes are dialogue pulled from the book "The Thief" — Book 1 of the Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner Change pronouns, proper nouns, verb tense, etc as needed! Made by Joly (theshirallen)

"What, haven't you escaped yet?"

"We might someday attain a relationship of mutual respect."

"For now, I will have your obedience."

"Some things take time."

"I think it's going to take a lot of time. I think it could take the rest of your life."

"Idle boasts, I suppose."

"I can steal anything."

"Well, you've learned to keep your mouth shut, at least."

"I want you to steal something."

"Don't try to be smart. You don't pretend well."

"Do you announce that you're going off to steal something before you start?"

"None of your business. Just keep your mouth shut, do you understand?"

"He's exhausted, that's all."

"Not exactly stalwart, are you?"

"Look, I'm very clean. Why am I washing again?"

"Where did you get so dirty?"

"What a lie that was."

"You can keep your civility to yourself. You don't talk to anyone, do you understand?"

"That was absolutely the most awful thing that has happened to me in my entire life."

"You'll make yourself sick."

"I don't want to get up. I want you to go away."

"I didn't plan this trip with your comfort in mind."

"I'm a lot more important than anyone else here."

"Most people find it galling to lose their freedom."

"Do you mean that we are out here in the dark looking for something from a fairy tale?"

"No one would mistake you for anything but a tool."

"Everything about you reveals your low birth."

"This is boring. How come boring makes me so tired?"

"Everybody goes to the temple, and everybody likes to hear the old stories after dinner, but that doesn't mean they expect a god to show up at their door."

"Tell me what other mistakes I made."

"Uneducated people rarely know much about the things they talk about every day."

"You're the one who doesn't know anything."

"A successful thief doesn't depend on things being unlikely to happen."

"If he finds out I want to stay, he'll take me away."

"Don't match your weakness against your opponent's strength."

"Glad to see someone is alert, if a little bit late."

"What are you looking at, sewer filth?"

"A little circumspection might be wise for someone in your position."

"You learn something new every day."

"What are you learning?"

"How can he look down his aristocratic nose at the unwashed masses when he's as poor as everyone else?"

"I bet he wakes up every morning and can't stand it."

"No. You're not going to tie me up."

"They're dead, too, stupid."

"Be blessed in your endeavors."

"I have work to do, and I don't like to work with bruises."

"Gutter scum can't fight its own battles."

"Gutter scum gets drafted into the infantry and fights for a worthless king, and hangers-on like you watch."

"That's treasonous!"

"Do I care?"

"His kind only ever serve themselves."

"Oh? And who else are you serving?"

"No unpleasantness, I trust?"

"This is where you earn your reputation."

"Do you come to offer, or to take?"

"Don't get yourself drowned on the first try."

"I don't know how it might happen, but if you fail, we are all lost together."

"I couldn't find it. I couldn't find anything."

"When you have returned to the land of the living, I have some questions to ask."

"Damnit. What were you doing all night?"

"I was tripping over prybars."

"I hear and obey, which is more than you have ever done."

"I have the highest respect for a craftsman."

"I'm trying to rob a god's temple, and you think I should worry about the ghosts of a few dead men?"

"Do not offend the gods."

"It is a great relief to my conscience that you are not drowned."

"We are alive, and you are alive, so this expedition was at least not the disaster of earlier ones."

"Do you have any doubts?"

"I just don't understand why I am so sure."

"I see you found a safe place to wait while we were busy."

"A little danger adds spice to life."

"I can't pull food out of the sky for you."

"How do you propose to get food?"

"You are going to steal it."

"I'll make sure we all go to the block together."

"It's not your job to think."

"You'll do your best, and if you best isn't good enough, we'll all go to the block together."

"Do you have any idea how impossible this is?"

"I thought you could steal anything."

"Things don't make noise."

"I'm not going back to prison."

"You think I would take you back to the prison?"

"You think I would trust you?"

"You don't have time to waste forcing me."

"Fine! Go die on the swords of the [name]. Be drawn, be quartered, be hung. I don't care!"

"What possible difference would it make to me?"

"Leave me a sword, and I'll do my best to slow them down."

"Just leave me alone. I'm fine. Go away."

"We saw everything from the top of the cliff."

"The only thing he can do with a sword is steal it or sell it."

"I've never seen someone win against that many men."

"I don't want him to be dead."

"The bleeding stopped and you will probably be all right, as long as you don't get a fever."

"Yes, that was a silly question."

"I owe you many apologies."

"I'll always wonder what you saw."

"Won't tell me, or can't?"

"I don't believe he holds you in high regard."

"And you will not break your promise?"

"You are more beautiful, but she is more kind."

"All I'm wearing is bandages."

"I think that I am more of an asset than a liability."

"All she wants from you is a promise of your service."

"Can we stop discussing this just now?"

"The river is running the wrong way."

"She might let me go as well. But she'd probably like best to catch me, and let you slip away."

"If you could be anywhere you wanted right now, where would it be?"

"Don't faint."

"I can manage, I promise."

"All my beauty gone."

"It might heal clean."

"This is not for us to figure out."

"You viper."

"I'm glad to see you looking better."

"I've decided not to give you the satisfaction of gnashing my teeth."

"She'll be plotting an elaborate revenge."

"Am I plotting an elaborate revenge? No, I haven't been able to think of anything adequate."

"He was clever. It's too bad he was a fool, too."

"I think you need more rest."

"I'll get up, and find someone else to tell me."

"The court is greatly impressed."

"People were careful not to offend her."

"I couldn't stand it, I think."

"It doesn't belong in this world."

"Stop biting your lip and say it."

"Anyone lucky enough to be married to you would count his blessings."

[blu3-ja3]

Chapter 3

Tim's POV

This isn't how this was supposed to go! Damnit! I'm running through a maze of underground tunnels carrying Damian, who feels so incredibly small and weak in my arms. My heart is pounding in my chest as I instruct Damian on trying to contact Dick or Jason while I navigate through the sewers of Gotham hoping desperately to find a way to lose our pursuers. Diana help me, I made a horrible call and now Damian is paying for it.

It's been a week since Jillian Rodriguez was kidnapped and the body of Amila Gomez was discovered. There hasn't been any new kidnappings but there have been a total of 4 bodies recovered and identified. Each one was a missing girl: Amila Gomez, Sarah Lawson, Lily Temalt, and Emily Golden. 5, 6, 7, and 8 years old respectively.

Bruce finally found a lead after the Oracle systems tracked the exterminators van to a location outside of Gotham and had left this morning with Selina to go investigate. While all the bat kids have kept a distance from the case, we have learned a few things... We're a family of detectives it can't be helped. The girls each had high amounts of altered fear toxin in their systems and Raven was able to identify the carvings, for what only Bruce and Selina know.

Damian and I were on patrol together, he had helped me come across a lead for a minor case of unlabeled crates coming into Gotham Bay. Dick thought it was okay to split off for a moment to help Steph and Cass with something and allowed us to go ahead of him to investigate. Kon was away on a mission helping Bart with something and Jason hasn't cleared himself to go out on patrols, so he's helping Barbara with Oracle business. While sitting and watching more unlabeled creates be unloaded and stored I spotted something, a familiar rug from camera footage outside of Jillian's apartment. I informed Damian and he agreed that we should get a closer look at what was in the crates as well as who was bringing them in.

We were smart about it, slipping into the building and staying in a far corner in the shadows. Damian was too short to open one of the crates so he stood as our look out and took detailed descriptions of those moving the crates. The second I opened the box there was a flash of strange energy, something we very rarely encountered in Gotham... Magic. I reacted quickly and grabbed the edge of my cape pulling it to block myself and Damian who I'd grabbed and pulled into my chest.

There were shouts of alarm and rapidly approaching footsteps, I reached into the box quickly and pulled out a smaller box. I quickly opened it while Damian covered me beating away the henchmen while I quickly picked the lock on the smaller box. Once opened I grabbed the three vials and stored them away in the pouch with the most cushioning so the vials don't break. I turned around just in time to watch Damian get hit and fly back against the open crate, a surge of dark purple energy hitting him in the chest.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I quickly scrambled over to Damian and lifted him up to my chest, holding him tightly as I heard my little brother struggling to breath. I moved quickly, rushing and taking cover behind a series of stacked crates as more people moved closer on either side of us. I spotted the drainage grate instantly and formed a rough plan as best as I could. Letting Damian's legs rest on my thigh I used the free hand to remove a series of smoke pellets and a flash pellet. I turned and tossed the flash pellet over the stacked crates before tossing one on either side of us and then in front of us.

Once the smoke and scared shouts filled the area I grabbed Damian bridal style again and rushed towards the grate. Setting Damian down to lean against me I removed the grate, thankful that it came up with ease. I picked up Damian and jumped down and was preparing to cover up our escape route when I heard a woman yelling that we're in the grates. Instead I tightened my grip on Damian and started running through the drainage tunnel. That's how we got to where we are now, lost in Gotham's underground sewers and drainage system.

"Robins! Where are you?"Dick's voice came through my coms, static making it difficult to hear properly. I dodged left as a bullet grazed my shoulder and Damian let out the smallest cry I've ever heard from him. Damian isn't weak, I've seen him get hit and continue like it's nothing, it took months for Bruce to get through to Damian about getting injuries properly treated.

"Put me down," Damian whispered, it sounded strained like he was trying to be louder but couldn't. Another bullet grazes me this time near my hip, I tuck Damian's body closer, try to make him smaller.

"No, you can barely speak let alone run," I say while ducking through another sewer tunnel making another sharp turn and slipping, turning my body so only I slam into the wall before continuing my mad dash.

"Leave me, hide me somewhere and come back. I'm slowing you down," Damian wheezed as he spoke, I looked down at him for only a moment before stealing myself.

"Sorry little bird but I can't do that, you're too hurt gotta get you out of here... Plus Nightwing and Bat would throw a fit if I came to the cave without you." I smiled down at Damian, we had a rough start. I'd only been Robin again for a few years, finally off the bench after Joker got a hold of me. Then Damian showed up and over night it felt like everything changed, Bruce wanted Damian to be Robin. He said it would teach him morals, Bruce told me about Red Robin and I happily accepted after talking to Dick.

It took some time to get used to each other, honestly me and Jason have more trouble getting along than me and Damian. But Cass helped me and Damian see eye to eye and we've gotten along better for it. So no I won't leave him behind when he's so weak and fragile, especially because we don't know what that magic did to him.

"Red Robin! Where are you? Where's Robin?" Once again Dick's voice buzzed over the comms, Damian reached up and tapped the electronic in my ear and I heard the click of my mic being activated.

"Nightwing! I'm in the sewers! Robin was hit by something, magic but I don't know what it did to him!" I look down at the boy in my arms before continuing, "I have him with me but we're being pursued!" The hand holding my mic open falls limply and so does the rest of Damian's body. Panic grips my chest as I slip into a small alcove and slide to a stop before crying out.

"Superboy! Help!" Tears burn my eyes as I clutch Damian closer to my chest, I look up as the wall to my left crumbles away. I look up to see Kon floating above the ruins Bart jumps off of his back but before he can say anything I rush to him and Kon.

"Take him to the cave, he needs help!" I gently hand Kon Damian's small form and he nods, not questioning anything for a second before he flies away just as fast as he appeared. I turn to Bart fully prepared to ask him to carry me to the cave when I'm hit with a flash of searing hot pain in my back, I feel my body slamming into something solid before crumbling to the ground.

I suck in a desperate breath as I look up to see a familiar figure, the woman from Jillian's drawing. I had read through Jillian's dream journal but all of it made very little sense, she kept writing about how she was trapped but she wanted to stay trapped. The scared woman wouldn't leave her alone. I'd stop paying attention to it and thought Jillian's dreams had very little to do with her kidnapping. Same with the drawings.

I caught my breath after a moment and stood up, ignoring Bart's worried buzzing. I reach for and extend my bo staff and crouch ready to fight the woman before me. Bart fell into a ready stance also, the Scared woman smiled wickedly before moving her hands in a few quick gestures. Another beam of dark purple energy careened towards me but I dodged ready for it. I launched myself towards the woman alongside Bart, every time I thought either of us would land a blow she seemed to have moved.

"You two are so very cute with your darling attempts to fight me but it's useless," She smiled mockingly as I snarled and launched myself at her again. She seemed to be agitated at that because instead of just dodging she started to make strange gestures again. She used both her hands to draw another symbol in the air before clapping her hands together and appearing in-between them as she pulled them apart was a strange rift.

"Let's make this a fair fight hmm? Enjoy playing with my pet, little ones!" She says as she turns back towards me and fires another blast of purple energy. I barely dodge and watch as from the rift behind her a strange humanoid form slithers out. They're tall and lithe with grey skin and no features. The creature lunges towards Bart at extreme speed. I have to refocus on the scared woman before I get hit again.

"What do you know about the disappearances in Gotham? Where are the missing girls?" I growl as I lunge at her sweeping my leg out and once again the scared woman wasn't where I thought she was. Every time she's only a few inches to the right, enough for me to miss my hits. That sparks an idea, I dodge back as another shot of purple flies past me.

I rush back towards her and swing at her with my bo staff, like I expected she is a few inches to the right. When my bo staff hits the ground I let it bounce and swing towards the scared woman, this time I feel the weight of it hitting her. I take the opportunity to start landing as many punches and kicks as I can. Each one lands and all the woman seems to be able to do is block.

There's a loud bang and a second later I crumple forwards as a bullet hits my lower back, another gun shot and this time it hits my right shoulder. The scared woman takes the opportunity and hits me with a blast of magic, hitting my chest and throwing me back. I land hard enough to have the wind knocked out of me as I slide across the cement walkway of the sewers. I look up to see the man from Jillian's drawings smiling down at me, as I hear Bart screaming out my name. I see the scared woman hovering over me smiling down at me before she speaks.

"You want to know what I know hmm? I'll tell you this, Gotham is about to change and one of those girls will be at the center of it all." She laughs as she makes a series of hand gestures and grabs the man before they both disappear.

I have a moment to lay there, everything is too painful to move. I can feel the thrumming of my own blood in my ears and the warmth of it as it causes my suit to stick to me. There's a cluster of voices and suddenly Dick is standing over me and calling out orders. Bart appears next to me as well as Kon, then I'm being lifted and I try not to scream as Kon's TTK holds me. My chest and back burn in a nauseating way and it takes all my effort not to pass out. Dick barks out more orders but then the world blurs and I'm in the cave.

I'm back in the cave on a table with John Constantine standing next to Alfred and Bruce. I faintly hear movement and what I assume to be voices before it all just kinda fades away...

Jillian's POV

I focus on my breathing, that's been the only thing I can do when this happens. I've screamed myself hoarse and I can't cry because I'm so dehydrated. But eventually it all stops and I'm left feeling empty, the pain from whatever strange magic they're using on us stops. I can feel the things they've carved into my skin humming faintly, I let my head fall back against the stone that they have me tied to and close my eyes as exhaustion racks my body.

"Has she come for her vessel yet?" A feminine voice asks from somewhere above me. I look up to see the woman who has haunted my dreams since the disappearances started, who I've only heard be referred to as Lady Am.

"No my lady but another chain has been broken. Sadly it was at a cost," one of the hooded figures speaks up as they all bow.

"Do what has been done before, go up into Gotham and dump the body into the sewer," Am speaks as she walks closer to me, I watch as one of her hands reaches out for me but I flinch away.

"Leave, I wish to talk with our candidates for our Lady." I can hear the footfalls of people leaving the room, then Lady Am snaps and I'm sitting at a long table with multiple other girls. All of whom I've learned are younger than me, we're bound to our chairs as Lady Am appears at the head of the table holding a familiar silver box.

"Hello girls, how are you all doing today?" She asks, not a single word is spoken as we all sit here. Naked, hungry, tired and hurting, I look down and see the strange cravings on my body still faintly glowing. Like they've done every time this happens, I feel a cool breeze that is wonderfully refreshing as everything burns.

"Jillian, I see you're still our prime candidate for our Lady to take as a vessel," the scared woman smiles at me as she walks around the table injecting each girl. Yet again she leaves me for last, "Let us see if we can't coax our Lady a little closer and you a little further shall we?"

I try to thrash against my restraints but it's no use as I feel the needle sink into my neck. The cool liquid flowing under my skin would be relieving if it wasn't for the spike in my heart rate and the anticipation of what's to come next. I feel my mouth go dry and my vision blurs as a pounding headache begins behind my eyes. I close them only for a moment.

When I open them again I'm in a familiar lightless void, so dark that my skin seems to glow. I let myself float here, knowing that if she wants to talk she will appear. I let myself enjoy the reprieve from everything, the crazy cult, the torture, the death, all of it slips into the far back of my mind as I drift comfortably. I can't even tell if my eyes are open or closed as I let myself relax.

"Child, look behind you..." A soothing comforting voice calls out. It's a voice I've heard many times over the past few years, she's only grown more frequent as time has passed. I listen to her and turn myself around. I expect to see her, in all her ethereal and eldritch beauty but instead I see a distant faintly glowing light.

"Go, he needs your help..." Like I'm being pulled by a rope I start drifting forwards, as I move forwards I see a shape before me becomes more clear, more defined. Details began to emerge as I drift closer and closer to... Timothy Drake-Wayne?

"Yes child, you know him... He still needs your help... Will you help him?" I know I can't really speak, more my thoughts are being read and she speaks to me through that. I simply nod and hold out my hand.

It's not the first time this has happened, if I black out during a ritual I'll wake up here. I'll be surrounded by motes of light and when I get closer they're one of the younger girls who's been here with me. Usually though they aren't as bright or they're extremely dim and I'm told to help them. There isn't much I can do beyond this to help them, so I try to do what I can here.

Like before I reach out and gently place one hand on the center of his chest and the other on the center of his back. Suddenly his eyes fly open and he looks at me, I immediately remove my hand and force myself back.

"Where am I? What's going on? Who- wait? Jillian?" Tim looks around confused as I raise a hand to say hello.

"I don't really know where we are or what's going on. I'm sorry for touching you, I was trying to help," I can't feel a mouth moving nor my throat vibrating but I can hear the words echo as though they were.

"You child are in my domain, my embrace and protection. Why you've been sent here I don't know but it seems you are capable." The voice rings out from everywhere and nowhere all at once, it's both in my head and not.

Suddenly there's a face in the shadows, that weird uncanny feeling as the more I focus on it the less it's there. When I turn to look away it seems to disappear only to slowly fade back in the same place I'm looking. There aren't any features but at the same time there are many defined features and faces. There's no light from them but somehow they are darker than the void around us.

"Are... Are you seeing that?" Tim spins around to face the opposite direction before looking at me, I nod and try to smile but again I don't know if I have a mouth or not.

"No you don't, it's weird... This is weird, what the hell is going on?" I shrug because honestly I don't have the faintest clue, the only reason I don't freak out anymore is because this has been happening to me for months now.

"Wait hold on, Jillian where are you? Have you seen the other girls? Who has you held?" Tim reaches out and grabs my shoulders spinning me so I can look at him.

"Underground, there are cave entrances everywhere but I can hear rushing water sometimes. I've seen the girls, yes but I don't see them for long. Sometimes they'll appear here but I've never been able to talk to them. I don't know the man's name but the woman is called Lady Am, if you go to my apartment I have sketches of them and a dream journal that has everything I know written in it." Tim nods as his arms fall to his sides.

I watch as there's a shift, suddenly there's color where there wasn't before but there was. I know there was but now suddenly it's changed. A man rushes towards us, he's clothed and for the first time I realize me and Tim have the weird Barbie and Ken dolls going on with our bodies.

"Sorry kids soul shunting is a bitch like that! I haven't the faintest clue where we are but I'm here to get you out... Well really I was here for him but I can grab you too," I pull away from the man's touch, instinctual and out of habit.

"What will happen to us when you pull us out?" Tim asks and I'm curious too.

"Well you'll go into your body, your friend over here will become... Well it's hard to say some people manifest fully formed and some manifest as a sort of orb. Either way she'll instinctively move towards her body wherever it is." I look around and realize that the strange face is gone, that she's gone.

"If you take me with you, you'd have to follow me fast. This cult has been trying to do this exact thing and the only reason they haven't is because she's been preventing Lady Am from doing... Well I guess this or something like this." I spin around to look one final time just to be certain, she's gone and the only reason she leaves is to prevent Lady Am from getting to me again.

"Okay then you ready kids? This is going to be a hell of an experience, you'll likely pass out and that's okay!" The British man smiles before reaching out, placing a hand on mine and Tim's shoulder before shoving us backwards.

It's like being dunked in ice water without warning, all the air escapes my lungs except I haven't been breathing and I'm not breathing now. But for whatever reason I feel like I'm on the precarious edge of suffocation, I try desperately to bring the non-existent air into my lungs and it doesn't work. I try to move my body and it doesn't respond, I feel puking but nothing comes. All of the sensations all at once makes my brain feel like it's going to explode. Like I'm about to be ripped apart at the seams.

And when it gets to be too much and not enough all at once, it stops. Black, nothing.

Part 1 /// Previous /// Next

Cursed Gotham Masterpost

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: Sweet Delights (Colin & Penelope AU)

Hello! I have no idea how many people are going to see this. So if you've followed me for awhile, hi, I'm back. Sort of! And if you're new, hi!

It's been 8 months since I've written and posted anything due to too much stress and writers block. But yesterday I saw that @the-slumberparty was hosting a summer event and I looked at the prompts and it just seemed like fun.

I chose Cookie Dough (bakery AU) with Cherries (meet cute) and paired it with a modern day AU Bridgerton.

Title: Sweet Delights

Fandom: Bridgerton AU & Modern

Pairing: AU Colin Bridgerton x AU Penelope Featherington

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: suggestive

Author's Note: The characters are the following ages, Colin - 33, Daphne - 32, Penelope - 28, Felicity - 21 (she's the youngest Featherington sister in the books)

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context.

"The things I do for you," Colin Bridgerton mumbled as he walked down the street with his sister Daphne.

She shot him a peevish look before replying, "And who else was I supposed to ask to go with me to sample cake for mum's party?"

Colin considered that for a second before sighing. She was right, damnit. Of all eight Bridgerton siblings, his palette was the most like their mothers. Not to mention the fact that he was always hungry.

"Here we are," Daphne said, gesturing to a sign that read 'Sweet Delights'.

Ever the gentleman, Colin opened the door for his sister and let her enter before he followed.

A tall, skinny redhead was behind the counter and Colin opted to stand to the side, letting his sister introduce herself. He let his eyes wander around the shop, taking in the mix of modern and antique decor.

Spotting a frame with several news clippings, he wandered over to look at it. Learning that the shop had been in this building since just after World War II and the original owner, Penelope Thomas, had recently retired and sold the business to her granddaughter, Penelope Featherington. Both women were pictured side by side and Colin felt drawn to the younger one despite knowing he'd never met her before.

"Colin," he heard his sister call.

Colin turned and collided with someone.

There was a shriek and then cakes went flying.

Acting on pure instinct, Colin grabbed the woman, trying to steady them both, but then his foot slipped on frosting and he felt himself falling, the woman with him.

They landed with a crash, the woman landing on top of him as cake splatted to the ground around them.

"Oh my god," the woman said once everything was silent. "Oh my god. I am so -"

Colin opened his eyes and found the woman, Penelope, from the clippings, laying on top of him.

"Are you alright?" Daphne's worried voice reached Colin's ears.

"I'm fine," Colin assured her. "Are you ok?" His eyes met Penelope's and felt his heart skip a beat.

"Y- yes," she replied. Her eyes remained locked with his for a second before she shook her head, as if finally remembering that she was on top of him in the middle of the floor. "Oh my god."

"Careful!" the other redhead exclaimed. "There's cake and frosting everywhere."

Then she and Daphne were there and helped Penelope untangle herself without making things worse.

Finally, Colin sat up and rubbed the back of his head, only to pull his hand away and find red.

He tilted his head and studied the substance that clearly wasn't blood. Bringing his hand to his face, he sniffed it.

"Colin?" his sister asked, concerned.

"It's strawberry coulis," Colin and Penelope said at the same time.

—

Most of the time, Penelope Featherington felt like she was the owner of a bake shop. But there were sometimes when she felt anything but.

Today was one of those days. It felt like nothing had gone right all day.

Then, to top it all off, her younger sister, Felicity, had forgotten to tell her that she'd scheduled a last minute cake tasting for a new customer named Daphne Basset.

Penelope had had exactly twenty minutes before the appointment to scramble everything together, thankful that most of their flavor combinations were featured in their cupcakes, before the appointment.

She heard the bell on the door jingle as she put the last cupcake on the tray and breathed a sigh of relief.

She took a minute to clean herself up and then left the kitchen with the tray of samples.

Everything was fine for the first five and a half steps. She saw the woman talking to Felicity and then saw the man looking at the news clippings. She couldn't see his face, but he was tall and had gorgeous chestnut hair that she just wanted to run her fingers through.

"Colin?" The voice came out of nowhere and he turned unexpectedly.

She tried to avoid the collision, but it likely made the situation worse. Her overcorrection had left her unbalanced and he'd tried to save her, but it had led to them both ending up on the floor.

She'd landed on top of him, all her wobbly bits pressed against his solid body. His strong arms wrapped around her, still holding her close.

"Oh my god," she said, once the room had fallen silent. "Oh my god." She felt his hands drop from around her. "I am so -" 

"Are you alright?" the woman's worried voice asked, interrupting her. Penelope assumed she had to be Daphne Basset.

"I'm fine." She could feel the vibration of his words as he assured his companion before he asked her, "Are you ok?"

Their eyes met and the anger that Penelope had suspected to see wasn't there. Instead, his eyes were filled with nothing but kindness and a hit of surprise. There was something else in his look, but Penelope wasn't sure how to interpret it.

"Y- yes," she stammered, unable to pull her eyes from his. There was something about him that seemed so familiar and yet different all at the same time. Then she remembered where she was. On top of him in the middle of her bakery. "Oh my god."

She started to push herself off him, but stopped when she heard Felicity call out, "Careful!"

Between Felicity and Daphne, they helped Penelope get up without causing more damage to herself, Colin or the bake shop.

Once she was on her feet, Penelope surveyed the damage. All of the cupcakes had been ruined and they'd managed to smash a few under them when they fell.

"Colin?"

Hearing the concern in Daphne's voice, Penelope shifted her gaze to Colin who was studying something red in his hand.

Her eyes dropped back to the floor where they'd been just moments before and saw the chocolate cupcake with the chocolate mousse cupcake where his head had been. It was smashed and its filling had oozed out. 

"It's strawberry coulis," Colin and Penelope said at the same time.

—

"Are you sure?" Daphne asked, concern still laced in her voice.

"I'm fine, Daph," he sighed. Then, turning to the other women, said, "Sisters, am I right?"

"Older or younger?" the one that wasn't Penelope asked.

"Younger," Colin and Daphne echoed.

"Definitely a you problem then," the young woman said with a smirk. "Us younger sisters never do anything wrong, isn't that right, Penelope?"

Colin smiled when he saw Penelope roll her eyes at her younger sister. He chose to ignore what that might mean.

With his eyes on Penelope, he saw her straighten her shoulders and turn to Daphne. "I am so sorry about this," she apologized and gestured to the mess around them. "If you choose us to make the cake for your party, it will be on the house."

"That is very kind of you, but we insist on paying," Daphne told her.

"They're Eloise's siblings," her younger sister explained. "Bridgerton."

The unease in Penelope's stance all but vanished. "You're Eloise's siblings?" she repeated.

Colin felt her eyes on him as she studied him and then Daphne. Then she nodded and said, "Yes. I see the resemblance now."

"You know Eloise?" he asked. He hadn't known that, but evidently Daphne had.

"She and her sisters went to the school as we did," Daphne told him. "Eloise and Penelope were in the same year and were roommates at one point."

"Our last year," Penelope supplied. "We've lost touch in the years since, I'm afraid."

Her sister cleared her throat, forcing all the attention to her. "It's just that, if Mr. Bridgerton has coulis in his hair, he'll likely want to wash it out as soon as possible. It is quite sticky."

"She's right," Daphne said with a sigh. "And we drove together, too. I guess we'll have to reschedule."

"Actually, Penelope's apartment is just up the stairs," the younger sister said. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if Mr. Bridgerton wanted to rinse off. Especially not since she, herself, needs to go upstairs and change."

—

If looks could kill, Felicity would be dead from the glare that Penelope shot her sister.

"Oh, that would be splendid!" Daphne exclaimed. "And while they do that, I can help you clean, Felicity."

Penelope blinked and shook her head confused. This was her bake shop, since when did her sister call the shots?

"Just go, Pen," Felicity said, waving her towards the kitchen and the stairs beyond it. "By the time you two come back down, this place will be clean and we can start over."

Penelope sighed and turned to Colin. "Come with me, I guess," she said.

"If you're uncomfortable, I can call for a taxi," he told her once they were alone in the kitchen. "It's no trouble." Then he tossed her a smirk and said, "After all, I have four younger sisters. I know how managing they can be."

Penelope studied him for a moment, giving herself time to decide. She knew two of his sisters, Eloise and Francesca, quite well and given everything that had transpired in the last fifteen minutes, she still felt comfortable in his presence.

"Come along," she said. "I think I still have some stuff my ex left here that you can wear." She paused and asked, "Assuming you don't have anything against wearing vegan, cruelty free clothing."

Colin paused and tilted his head, giving her a confused look. "Is there really such a thing?" he asked.

"According to my ex there is," she replied and then cringed. She and Alfred, never Alfie, Debling had been broken up for six months and here she was talking about him like a love sick fool. She stopped suddenly on the stairs and turned to face Colin, who was two steps behind her, but they were nearly face to face because of the difference. "I'm not hung up on my ex. I just like facts and facts are easy."

Colin tilted his head again and she wasn't sure if she found it adorable or annoying. "I like facts, too," he finally said.

Penelope took a breath, nodded her head and then continued up the stairs. She unlocked her apartment door and then stepped aside to let him in.

"The bathroom is right there," she pointed to one of the few doors in the apartment. "I'm afraid all of my stuff is rather girly," she apologized. "But you're welcome to use any of it."

"It's better than strawberry coulis, I'm sure," Colin said. "The clothes?"

"Oh right," she said and then, because it was established they both liked facts, added, "I know I said they were my ex's, but I bought them on sale and then we broke up, so they were never actually his. It was just too late to return them."

—

Colin tried not to look, but he found it impossible not to as Penelope got down on her hands and knees to pull a box out from under her bed.

She had a nice ass.

He'd noticed it on the stairs and had been caught completely off guard when she'd spun around suddenly. If she'd caught him staring, she hadn't said anything.

"I know they're here somewhere," she said, her ass in the air as she searched.

Colin opened his mouth to respond, but wasn't sure what one was supposed to say in such a situation.

'Take your time' seemed indecent, especially since his eyes kept going to her butt.

'I'm in no rush' was a lie, he could feel the stickiness on the back of his neck.

"Ah ha!" she exclaimed. "Found them!"

Colin watched as she shoved the box back under her bed. Then he quickly averted his gaze as she stood up and made her way to him.

"Here you go," she said, holding them out. "And you can just keep them. I don't have any use for them."

"Thank you," he replied. Then gestured to the bathroom. "I'll just…"

"Oh yes, of course," she said. "And I'll change, too. But over there." She pointed to an old-fashioned privacy screen. "Uh, enjoy your shower." Then she cringed.

"Thanks," he said before giving her what he hoped was a friendly smile.

He went into the bathroom and closed the door.

He gotten as far as removing his shirt when there was a knock.

"I, uh, have a bag for your clothes," she said from the other side.

Colin glanced at himself in the mirror and then decided 'why the hell not' and opened the door.

—

Penelope had expected him to just open the door enough to accept the bag, but when he opened it fully and revealed his chests, she visibly swallowed.

Her eyes traveled up from his trim waist, up to his toned pecs and, finally, up to his face. Where she saw a heated look staring back at her.

"Here's the bag," she said quickly and then hurried away from the door, wishing like hell that she didn't live in a studio apartment.

A second later, the bathroom door closed and she waited until she heard the water turn on before she made her way to the antique privacy screen.

There was a wicked part of her brain that told her to just barge into the bathroom and kiss Colin Bridgerton and give into the desire that was evidently building between them. But the cautious side of her brain, the part that had been ever present and nagged while she was dating Alfred, told her to proceed with caution.

There was no unease, she realized as she changed clothes. When she'd dated Alfie, as Felicity loved to call him these days, there had been a sense of unease at every turn.

They'd only dated for less than a year, but he'd constantly been asking her to change herself and her world while expecting her to accept him exactly as he was. The turning point had come when he'd all but demanded she abandon her grandmother's tried and true recipes and convert the bakery to an exclusively vegan and gluten free one.

That's when she had realized that she would never be good enough for him. There would always be parts of her life that he'd expect her to change to please him. That she wasn't good enough just being herself.

Stepping out behind the privacy screen, Penelope studied the bathroom door. While she'd only just met Colin, she knew about him and his family. While Eloise hadn't spoken a lot about her family, per say, they'd been classmates from the ages of 11 to 18 and she could recall a story or two about the Bridgerton older brothers.

—

Strawberry coulie free, Colin stepped out of the bathroom wearing the gifted joggers and hoodie. They were a little loose on him, but otherwise were comfortable.

Feeling eyes on him, he looked up and caught Penelope looking at him. When her cheeks started to redden, he tilted his head and studied her.

"Why do you do that?" she asked him. "Tilt your head when you look at me?"

"I dunno," he said. "I didn't even realize I was doing it. I guess, I just find you intriguing."

"Is that a good thing?" she asked him. She hadn't moved from her position about ten feet away from him.

"Yes."

They stood silently for a moment before she gestured to the stairs. "I suppose we should go help our sisters."

They made their way back down the stairs, but instead of finding their sisters, they found a note on the workbench.

Penelope read it and then handed it to him.

Pen,

Daphne forgot she had dinner plans with her husband tonight and I have a date. You and Colin will need to finalize the flavors tonight. The party is next week.

Felicity

"This has Daphne written all over it," Colin accused. "I'm sorry about this. My sister is happily married and thinks everyone else should be too."

"Don't blame your sister entirely," Penelope said, shaking her head. "Felicity isn't innocent in this."

"Younger sisters, am I right?" Colin echoed his sentiment from earlier, which had the desired effect, making Penelope smile. "Tell me how I can help."

—

"Tell me how I can help," Colin's voice reverberated in her mind.

Alfie had never offered to help. Not even when the shop was in a rush and he was waiting for her to close for the day. He'd just sit at the table in the corner and read.

Propelled by some source within her, Penelope closed the difference, wrapped her arm around Colin's neck and pulled his face towards hers and kissed him. It took a second, but soon his arms were around her and he was kissing her back.

It was the first kiss she had always dreamed of and more.

She saw fireworks.

She felt sparks.

But more than anything, she felt wanted.

When they finally broke apart, Colin rested his forehead against hers and they stared at each other while they caught their breath.

—

One Year Later

"Colin!" Penelope shrieked as he dipped his finger into the strawberry coulis. "That's for your mum's cake!"

"She'll never know," he replied before he licked finger clean.

He knew that Penelope knew that he knew she was watching his tongue closely as he cleaned his finger.

"Colin," she said in a faux warning tone.

"Penelope," he replied in a mocking tone.

Then he grinned and dipped his finger again, this time he held it out to her.

Her eyes met his and he tilted his head, daring her to join his game.

His mother's party was until tomorrow evening, which meant he could help Penelope decorate the cake, and make more coulis, in the morning.

"Penelope," he said in a seductive tone.

"Colin," she replied in the same tone. Then she took his hand and licked the strawberry coulis off his finger, swirling her tongue in the devastating manner that she knew would completely undo him.

"You have five minutes to clean up," he told her once she released his finger. "And then I'm either taking you on the workbench or carrying you upstairs."

She only needed four and they left a trail of clothing going up the stairs.

[seramilla]

God that must be so hard and nerve wracking for Carmilla. Finally knowing what happened to the baby she lost and feeling slightly relieved cause now here was her baby safe and here in her arms again where she belonged damnit but they were all in hell and her baby had already lost an eye and had to fight every day...

But also...how are Clara and Odette handling the news that they found their baby sister and just who she is?

Carmilla takes a few days to determine if she wants to inform Odette and Clara about what she'd gleaned following the most recent Extermination. In the first place, her girls had been working overtime extracting all the angelic steel left behind near the Hotel; it's a veritable treasure trove this time, and they'd been so excited to get started. Second, Carmilla needed time to process recent revelations herself, and figure out how to delicately broach the subject with her eldest two.

How is she supposed to tell her daughters that their sister, whose existence they'd barely even registered back on Earth, had quite literally come back from the dead? Not only that, they'd missed an entire childhood together; growing, playing, bonding, fighting, and loving one another -- all things Clara and Odette had the opportunity to do. How is Carmilla supposed to just go up to them and say, "Surprise! You remember that child I was pregnant with when we all died? Well, she's still around! She's an ex-Exterminator, killed hundreds of our people, and I don't even know if she wants anything to do with us!"

Would Odette even accept her? Clara is usually the more open-minded of the two. That's another question she can't answer. With how many times Vaggie's "sister" Exorcists have tried to kill them over the years, would her other daughters even want to have anything to do with Vaggie? She thinks they would...Clara the most likely of the two...but they are fully grown women with their own thoughts and feelings. She wouldn't blame them if they...well, they'd have every right not to want that kind of relationship with Vaggie, at any rate.

Carmilla is still stewing in these thoughts, having practically worn a path in the middle of her bedroom floor by walking back and forth so many times, when she feels a vibration in her pocket. Pulling out her phone, Vaggie's name flashes prominently on the screen, like a fresh piece of graffiti on the side of a building. She almost drops her phone in surprise, but manages to keep it together. She taps the answer icon in trepidation.

"Ye-yes?"

"Carmilla?" Vaggie's voice on the other end sounds so...tired. Carmilla recalls she's been home for a few days now, but she wouldn't have been able to tell by the sound of her voice alone. Her tone is so...ragged and laced with anxiety; a spitting image of her own, if she's honest.

"Vaggie! Umm, yes! How can I help you?"

There is a definitive pause, one that makes the distance between them seem more metaphysical than real. They are just across the city from each other, but in every other sense, Vaggie is undoubtedly existing in her own plane of reality right now. She seems so much farther away than Carmilla could possibly reach by foot. It must have taken her a lot to call Carmilla. The arms dealer puts her patience to the test, and waits intently for Vaggie to find the words to voice what she needs to say.

"Carmilla..." Vaggie finally starts, a voice much shakier and insecure than she remembers; a far cry from that determined, brave girl that challenged her at her compound all those days ago. "Can I...come over?"

Carmilla's heart jumps into her throat. Her ears start ringing, and she almost needs to sit down on her bed before she collapses.

"Yes!" she says, flinching as she sounds a little too eager for her own ears. There's no helping that now. "Of-of course! Whatever you need, mi querida. My door is always open. When do you want to come by?"

"Ummm," Vaggie hesitates, as if she fears she's asking too much. "Is right now okay? Are you...busy?"

Odette and Clara will be back soon, but that is the furthest thing from Carmilla's mind at the moment. She'll deal with it when the time comes.

"No, that's perfectly fine! Absolutely, I'll be here! I'm not going anywhere today."

Vaggie sounds a little relieved, but also like she hadn't expected her question to be answered so quickly, so freely. Carmilla hopes she doesn't sound too eager...but she is. How can she not be? This is her daughter, for goodness’ sake, her child, wanting to see her.

"O-oh-okay!" Vaggie says, a little more eager this time. "Gi-give me an hour? And I'll...I'll be there."

"Text me once you're close by," Carmilla says, trying to push away any further doubts and hesitation from her mind. Vaggie wants to come over. She needs to be strong for her. She needs to keep it the fuck together. "I'll come out and get you this time."

"Okay," Vaggie responds. "Thanks...thank you, Carmilla."

Vaggie hangs up. Carmilla stiffens. She stands up, putting her large hands over her face, wiping her forehead down to her cheeks from the stress of it all. Vaggie is coming back, coming here, right now. She tries so much not to freak the fuck out.

Now to figure out what to do about Odette and Clara.

[justalittlelilac]

Literally on a new hyper-fixation and, damnit, sometimes we can't choose so here's a lil' Simon Riley x fem!reader who's a gamer fic, because the voices wouldn't let me live 'till I wrote it. Just fluffy fluff.

Reader referred to as: She/her, his girl, his woman. Based on my own character, but took out the names. Word count: 713 She's totally not playing Helldivers 2.

Simon opened the door to his and his partner's Manchester flat to a dark living room. This was odd to him because his woman had stayed behind while he met up with the guys for a drink down at the pub. She preferred to stay in during their leaves, and he honestly couldn't blame her. Hell, he would have as well, if it wasn't for Soap dragging him out. 

Still, though, she hadn't been answering his texts, and THAT was unlike her. Preferring face-to-face communication, Simon rarely sent electronic messages. Still, when he did, he would almost always receive an immediate reply from her. He hadn't thought much about it while out, but concern filled his gut now that he was in the dark flat.

For a moment, dark thoughts filled his mind of her being taken or worse. The memory of finding his own family dead fell over him like a cold sheet of ice. At the exact moment, he heard her yell, and he barreled down the hall to the closed door of their spare room. His hand practically trembled as he threw the door open, and light filled his vision.

"Mother fucker!" Simon heard her yell as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings. Once things came into focus, he let out a sigh of relief. There she was, sitting cross-legged in a computer chair with a headset on. She had already dressed for bed in one of his large black t's and underwear. Simon cocked his head, perplexed, watching as she leaned over her keyboard, fingers clacking and her mouse flicking from side to side. "Fuck, sorry guys, I need a revive." His presence wasn't even noticed by her; she was so focused. 

Simon approached her slowly, but it still didn't help. As soon as she caught him from the corner of her eye, she jumped and threw her headset to the keyboard, rising from her chair and going into fight mode. The sound of gunfire and "Walk" from Pantera blasted from the speakers, and Simon stifled a laugh. Once she realized it was him, she clutched her chest in relief and chuckled shakily. 

"Jesus, you scared me!" She grabbed her headset to speak. "Sorry guys, one sec," she said before putting them back down. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What are you doing?" he asked in amusement. Her eyes flicked to the screen and then back to him, and she tucked her tousled hair behind her ears. 

"Just playing some video games," she explained. Simon could hear the voices of others on the headphones, and he tilted his head again.

"With who?" 

"Just some people I know online," she shrugged. Simon wasn't online savvy. He never really had time to delve into that sort of thing, and maybe he was too old for it now.

"What're playing?" Simon was genuinely curious. He knew his woman liked video games, but he hadn't ever seen her play nor knew what she preferred. She was an absolute nerd regarding stuff like that, and you wouldn't know unless she told you. He thought it was fucking adorable. 

"Just a shooter, nothing crazy," she shrugged again, and he again cocked an eyebrow in interest.

"Don't you do enough shooting as it is?" He asked, and she laughed. 

"It's not like that!" She chuckled as she went to sit back down. No, no, she was supposed to be relaxing, not leave war to come home and play at it. 

"Nope, think you need a break," he grunted before scooping her up against his chest and moving to carry her. She laughed out loud, only playfully struggling against him.

"No, my teammates! They need me! I can't abandon them!" She called out, arms comedically outstretched towards the computer.

"Sure they'll be fine," he replied simply.

"'Least let me mute my mic!" She demanded loudly.

"Nope," he replied with his own graveled laugh, still carrying her to the bedroom, predicting if he let her go back into that room, she'd just start playing again, knowing her. She relented and just laughed along with it. Fuck, he loved leave, used to not, but he loved his woman enough that coming home to a dark flat could mean finding laughter and not terror. He couldn't thank her enough for that.

[bell-askblog]

I'm not supposed to be the one dealing with this kind of thing, but seriously, what the fuck are you talking about. Tell me. You're not making any goddamn sense. Plus, I genuinely have nothing better to do than listen. So I'm all ears.

- @adlers-former-protege

It's not your problem, god damnit, it isn't.

I reckon you still want to listen, huh. What the fuck am I talking about? Maybe you'd know. We are eachother, are we not? Me, the stupid loyal dog variant of us. You, the terrorist. But I suppose you're free though, are you not? I did the right thing, at the cost of my life. Almost. At the cost of my life. But I couldn't live with myself if I'd blown up Europe for my own selfish gain.

And I don't know what to do anymore. Really, I'm hiding from it all. A bullet to the chest by the man you thought— A bullet to the chest by Adler doesn't do well on my psyche. Really, I thought maybe the brainwashing was a fluke, maybe he cared now, maybe— But. Maybe I suppose I'M just too hopeful and naive. Naive. I've always been naive, haven't I? You took control of your life and you got yourself free with your people. Even feel righteous in that decision. Me, I'm the idiot who listens and lays down for anything Adler asks, only to feel the shoe stomp into my back over, and over, and over, and over—

I can't do this anymore. I can't look at their faces. I need this to be over. I miss Perseus, am I an idiot for thinking that? He won't want anything to do with American scum like me. And I don't get anything to make up for my sacrifices but a bullet and a hospital stay. And this overwhelming guilt and longing.

There's no good endings for me at this point. I'm sick of it. I'm going to give myself the ending I need.

Is that what you wanted to listen to, Bell? The ramblings of a crazed and misfortuned man? I've heard it said I'm a tragedy, and should I find it strange I agree? Whatever. Fate always writes the story. I'm not the one who can take the pen and cross it out.

I should say sorry, shouldn't I?

[see-the-fandom-imagines]

What’s in it for me?

Chapter 1/?: She doesn’t even go here

Masterlist

Pairing: Kyouya Ootori x Reader Author: see-the-fandom-imagines Warnings: None at all. Word Count: 3244 A/N: I rewatched OHSHC and I almost forgot how amazing it was. Is this fandom still active I wonder?

You scoffed slightly annoyed and checked your wristwatch as you stared up at the Ouran High School. Up close the building really was impressive. Nonetheless had you been waiting for Haruhi now for more than twenty minutes and she completey ignored your texts. You knew she had joined a new club, something with music, but she didn’t really like talking about it, so you didn’t press. However, you started to get slightly annoyed. If she had known that practice would have taken longer today, she could have just told you so. You took a deep breath and decided to wait another ten minutes and if you hadn’t heard anything by then you would simply march in there and go look for her.

“God damnit, this school is enormous”, you whispered as you made your way through the hallways, people staring at you due to your different uniform, but you chose not to notice. You had had enough after your encounter with a real guard at the entrance, who you had managed to sneak past, while he was answering some questions from a few other girls. You felt like he could pop up everywhere. “Music she said…”, you mumbled, walking on through the enormous school, and decided the smartest thing would probably be to look for a music room. “Ah, excuse me”, you stopped two girls passing you, whispering. They flinched slightly when you talked to them. You weren't quite sure if you had actually startled them or if they were just really taken aback by your uniform. Based on their looks probably the latter. You were a trespasser, but still ... That felt a little bit rude. I know I am not that rich, but do I look that terrible? You decided to ignore that voice in your head. You were a woman with a mission. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. It is just ... I am looking for Fujioka Haruhi?” “Haruhi-kun?”, the girls asked and blinked a few times. Kun? You thought for a second, but then determined that they must be third years or something. “Yeah”, you confirmed, “we were supposed to meet today, but I can’t find Haruhi’s club…” The girls looked at each other for a second, they still seemed very confused even if less than before. At least the mystery about your uniform had been cleared up for them as it seemed, because their posture relaxed a little. “You got to go to music room 3”, one of the girls said, smiling now, but still eyeing you curiously. “It’s upstairs and to the left. Are you Haruhi's girlfriend or something?” “Ah, thanks so much!”, you said smiling and bowed, deciding to absolutely ignore her last comment, before taking off, leaving the girls behind you.

“This must be it”, you murmured, before pushing open the door that was labeled Musicroom 3. The light blinded you a little when you opened the door and although you hadn't quite been sure what to expect based on Haruhi's terrible description of her club, it certainly wasn't this. What you certainly hadn’t imagined, was a room full of girls, having tea, snickering and a few guys here and there. You blinked a few times, looking around. What kind of club was this? But you didn't have a lot of time to ask yourself what was going on, because suddenly two light-haired twins appeared in front of you. “Huh”, one of them said, tugging at your uniform. “Who are you?”, the other one asked, tugging from the other side. “So this is what poor people wear to school?” “That’s not even real cotton.” You stumbled back a few steps, your back hitting the door that had closed behind you, slightly taken aback about the people who had just deciding touching you was alright. You opened your mouth to speak, but were interrupted by a blond-haired boy stalking in your direction. “Oh my!”, he yelled approaching you. Your eyes widened in terror. What the heck. “Has my fame travelled so far that even maidens from other schools are looking for me?” “Fame?”, you asked, not sure, what he was getting at. “You’re Tamaki”, you concluded, and he grinned, kneeling down in front of you. "You really want a girl that is dressed so cheaply in our club, boss?", the twins asked in unison. “H-Hey, that was expensive!”, you muttered, and immediately regretted it as Tamaki appeared again out of thin air. “Do not embarrass the fair little maiden! Although the cost of this uniform is mere peanuts for us, we got to respect the little people and their financial struggles.” You weren’t sure if you should feel insulted again. “My princess. I cannot believe you have come all this way to visit me.” “I didn’t”, you said very dry-mouthed, making the twins chuckle and the blond guy freeze at your cold tone. “But… you know my name”, he stuttered and you nodded. “Yes, but…” Suddenly another voice rang out, as a black-haired boy with a notebook in his hand approached you. “You must be (y/n)”, he concluded and you nodded, slightly overwhelmed by all these people. How did he know your name again? Haruhi must have told him about you waiting for her. “Huh?”, the twins asked in unison, appearing in front of you again, this time facing the boy with glasses. “How do you know her, Kyouya?” “Yeah, she goes to a completely different school and not a good one based on how she looks.” “Hey!”, you exclaimed, but Kyouya didn’t even react to their insult towards you. He must be thinking the same. “Haven’t you noticed?”, he simply said, scribbling something down. “She is wearing the uniform of the local Adachi Nishi Senior High School. Location-wise this is the closest school to Nishiwaseda Junior High School, Haruhi’s former school. Given that and the fact that Haruhi has mentioned that she needs to leave early, plus the most frequently contacted contact in her phone after her father is listed under the name (y/n) I do assume that this is the young woman standing here in front of us.” He said all of this matter-of-factly and without looking up. You looked up at him with big eyes. As weird as it was that he knew all this, his conclusions had been kind of impressive. But wait… Did he just say… “You went through my phone?”, you could hear Haruhi’s voice as she approached you, but Kyouya just shrugged. “I merely saw the name pop up several times”, he said, barely noting how upset Haruhi was at that. Haruhi sighed, before turning to you. “What are you doing up here?” “Me?”, you asked, still a bit overwhelmed, as you realized everybody in the room was staring at you now. Including two other boys and all the girls. “I…”, you stuttered before shaking your head to get back into reality. “We were supposed to meet half an hour ago, but you weren’t there and also didn’t pick up your phone so…” She looked at the clock outside and realisation hit her, while you were still talking, when suddenly you noticed something. “But Haruhi, why are you wearing that uniform? Isn’t that…” “We gave it to him”, the dark-haired boy interrupted you, “it will be added to his existing debt, of course.” “Debt?”, you murmured and you looked around the room, then back at Haruhi and at the dark-haired boy. “How did you make it past the Security Guard, by the way? I am sure he wouldn't have let you through like that?” Slowly you looked up at the boy apparently named Kyouya, who was still scribbling into his booklet, a smile plastered on his face, but you weren't fooled. That was a threat. You didn’t understand what exactly was going on, but you definitely understood that there was a reason Haruhi was wearing a boy’s uniform and if you even so much thought about saying anything about it, he would kick you out. Suddenly it also made sense, that the girls had called her ‘kun’ earlier. “Ah, yeah”, you nodded quickly, as you saw the confused looks of the girls. “I hadn’t seen it yet, cause Haru-ch… Haruhi-kun always gets changed before we meet.” You felt the piercing look of the raven-haired boy of you. He was smiling, obviously pleased, that you had picked up on the situation so quickly.

“So, you are Haruhi’s friend from Middle School?” The blonde guy had appeared again, and you nodded. “Yeah… and we were supposed to get some ice cream and study together, but…” “So you knew my name, cause Haruhi was talking so much about me?” His eyes basically turned into hearts as he said that. “That makes Daddy so happy!” Slowly this all started to get a little bit too much for you. “I knew your name, because you seemed like the most annoying one here, so I figured.” He stopped in his happiness and seemed to collapse under the word “annoying”. You felt a little bad, but at least it was quiet for a second. “Haruhi”, you said and you smiled at her, ignoring her exhausted expression, “may I talk to you for a second?"

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Haruhi had nodded, but Kyouya had interrupted as usual. "You may talk once all our dear guests have left." That sickly sweet smile appeared again. "We do not want to burden them with our issues. I am sure you have some time, right?" You sighed. You knew you couldn't win against that guy, so you just nodded. Defeated you had sat down on one of the couches, and immediately found yourself surrounded by a bunch of girls and the rest of the hosts. “So you went to middle school with Haruhi-kun?”, one of them asked. “Uh, yes.” “What was he like? Do you have any pictures? I bet he looked so cute in a commoner's uniform.” “Well”, you started, looking at Haruhi from across the room and ignoring the comment about the quality of your school uniform. “I guess Haruhi has been the same as now. He always studied hard. Sometimes too hard”, you chuckled at the memory. “Sometimes he wouldn’t notice the most obvious things.” Your gaze darted to the blonde haired host who was still sulking, but appeared to be listening intensely. You wondered in how far this character trade of Haruhi applied here, too. “Pictures…”, you trailed off, feeling the eyes of the ravenette burn into your back. You began to chuckle awkwardly. “I got a new phone so I must have deleted them all.” The girls made some disappointed noises, but Kyouya went back to scribbling something in his booklet, walking past your couch. “Too bad, these things happen.” “Yeah, crazy”, you said, rolling your eyes, earning you a raised eyebrow from him, but you didn’t care.

“So, you’re also poor.” The twin that said to your right stated and you slowly turned your head towards him. How rude. “Of course, look at that uniform." Now you looked at the other one. How did Haruhi survive this. “Well, not poor…”, you said, but were interrupted again, as the younger blonde host appeared in front of you. You blushed a little. He was really cute. The boy grinned at you, and you were thankful that at least one person here seemed to not want to offend you. Smiling he offered you a piece of his cake. “Here!” Confused you blinked. “This is really good cake, and since you cannot buy it so often you can have mine!” So much to not wanting to offend you. The girls started squealing, whereas you still tried to figure out if that was nice or also very rude. “Mitsukuni”, a dark voice spoke up and you looked up to the other dark-haired host that had kept to the background so far and had suddenly appeared behind the boy. “Don't say it like that.” The younger boy looked like he was about to cry. "What? Really, did I say something bad?" Yet again overwhelmed you quickly grabbed the cake. You really didn't want to be responsible for making him cry. “Oh, no, no, it’s fine”, you assured quickly. “Thank you so much.” The boy smiled again and also the taller guy gave you a smile that you returned gladly. You decided that fighting your situation wouldn’t help right now. You would just have to survive until Haruhi was free to go and she could explain everything to you. You picked up the fork that was lying on the plate, and picked up a piece of cake to shove it in your mouth. It was heavenly sweet, just the right amount. The little boy had been right, you didn't get the chance to eat food this good so often. But you also felt like you couldn't let them win, so you tried very hard not to show too much just how delicious it was. But this was the best goddamn cake you’ve ever eaten. You saw the twins staring at you mischievously from the side. If you admitted to that they would never let you hear the last of it. Mori, meanwhile, noticed the slight pause you made, while eating the cake and smiled a little, placing a few cookies in front of you. With big eyes you looked at him, but he didn’t comment on it and instead followed Mitsukuni who had already ran away towards Haruhi to also offer her some of your cake. Surprised you looked after the young man who seemed to be the only one not too affected by your status as a commoner.

Finally, all the girls had left the club and it was just you, the boys and Haruhi left. “So”, you concluded their explanations, “you broke a highly expensive vase, they thought you were a boy”, you side-eyed the hosts, “and now you got to work here as a host until you paid off your debt?” Haruhi sighed, collapsing a bit into herself. “That’s about it.” You were silent for a while. “And why didn’t you tell me about it?”, you asked, almost already knowing the answer. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess, I didn’t really think it was important.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Haruhi, we gotta talk about priorities again. When you complained about that guy”, you said, pointing to Tamaki, sending an arrow straight through his heart, “you could have mentioned he is the leader of a Host club!” You sighed, letting yourself fall down back on the couch. Being mad at Haruhi wouldn’t help and you also knew you didn’t have the right to actually be mad. She didn't choose this and you knew she would rather eat her own leg than inconvenience anyone with her problems. "Alright", you suddenly spoke up, sitting up straight again. “How much debt is left?”, you asked Kyouya directly. If someone knew the numbers, well then it was the guy with the notebook. “Exactly 7 million and 281.928.” You nodded slowly, trying not to show, how much that number affected you. Gosh, that was so much money. “Alright then”, you said, looking at Haruhi for a brief second, before fixating back on Kyouya. “Let me work here.” That actually made him look up from his notebook and you could feel the stares of all the other hosts on you as well. “You can’t be a host”, one of the twins said. “Yeah, you’re a girl.” “I know”, you said, still not looking at anyone else than Kyouya. “But it appears you could do with an errand girl or something.” Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "Why would you think that." You shrugged. "Well apparently she was supposed to be your ‘dog’ or something.” You looked over to your friend who looked like she was about to say something, but you wouldn't let her interrupt. “And I think she is struggling enough. So I would like to help her.” In the background you heard the twins whisper. "A part-time job." "Makes sense, since she is poor, she needs to work extra." "How sad." "Yeah, really sad." You decided to ignore them.

“You want to work here, to help her pay off her debt”, Kyouya concluded and you nodded. Haruhi grabbed your arm. “(Y/n), don’t do that! Really, I can make do!” You ignored her. “So?” You were waiting for an answer from Kyouya. He smirked, and for the first time you got the feeling that he was actually looking at you. “What’s in it for you?” You shrugged. “Not much, to be honest, but Haruhi helped me out so many times. It’s time to return the favour.” Haruhi stared at you in awe. “(Y/n)…” Kyouya nodded. Paying back favours was something he could understand. “Well, that’s not on me to decide, the other club members will have to –“ But he didn’t even get to finish talking, because immediately the twins chimed in. “A new toy sounds fun”, one said, grinning at you and wrapping his left arm around you. “Especially one that we can order around.” The other one wrapped his other arm around you. You already regretted this. “I think it would be nice, if Haru-Haru had a friend here”, Honey exclaimed. “And she can eat a lot more cake with us!” Well the regret vanished a bit. Mori smiled at you and just nodded. You looked at Kyouya who had noticed the interest everyone seemed to have in you. He would lie if he wasn’t intrigued by this himself. An errand girl, free of pay, that could give him valuable information about Haruhi and also might bring more people in. “You could proof yourself as valuable”, he said, putting up the fake smile he had already worn earlier. You really couldn’t read the guy. Now it all was on Tamaki. The whole Host Club, including you, turned their gaze at the blonde, still lying at the ground. Maybe you should have insulted him less. He didn’t move for a second, before looking at you, then back at Haruhi and back at you. Of course. That was it. Immediately, you knew how you could convince him. He was a lot easier to read than Kyouya, so much was sure. “You know", you started dramatically and a bit louder than you would have had to, "I just want to support Haruhi and you know how important friends are." He moved. That was it. You got him “We have been best friends since Elementary School, so I have a lot of stories”, his head shot up, “pictures…” He had recovered fully. Suddenly he was kneeling in front of you, holding your hands in his. “(Y/n)! A female friend is exactly what my daughter needs!” “Daughter?”, you asked, but he ignored you. “I accept you as our errand girl, only the best for Haruhi! And if she remembers her lovely days in school, maybe she will get back to feeling more like a girl!” You nodded, although you knew that wouldn’t happen. Haruhi had never cared much about gender. That’s what happened when you grew up with Ranka, you guessed, and you fully understood her in that regard. Haruhi just sighed, she didn’t even comment. She knew how good you were in reading people, of course you had figured out Tamaki’s soft spot immediately. Well, not that he was a closed book to anyone. “So, I’m in?”, you asked, looking at Kyouya, who had also noticed how quickly you had found the right words to say to Tamaki. You would be useful for the club, certainly, but he suddenly also was intrigued personally. “You start tomorrow.”

Chapter 2

[minicy]

Really resent my culture's relationship to food. Food as a commodity, as something to be grown not to be eaten but to be sold overseas and to rot uneaten in fields and behind grocery stores. Food as a comfort, one of few things you get to actually choose and indulge in, and the least healthy choices are the ones that are easiest to buy and consume. Food as a point of control, you can't buy food if you don't sell at least so many hours of life to the Machine, and then what you do get as someone at the bottom of the hierarchy is dictated by others- paternal lawmaking, or arbitrary restrictions, or food given that is unpalatable or outside of your culture or that you don't know how to prepare. Food as a product, what you want is what we have paid for you to want, the food choices you make dictate your marketable lifestyle, the things you eat and drink show your allegiances and your subculture and your sub-subculture, you must eat this much to enter.

Food as a tool for shame is one of the worst offenders. You shouldn't have eaten those things, you should eat this thing instead, why aren't you doing what you're supposed to? You listened to those advertisements and ate what we designed to be as delicious and consumable as possible? You're disgusting. Why won't you eat what you're given? You're ungrateful. Why would you have that carb? Sorry, why would you eat that meat? Sorry, why would you eat anything besides meat? Then, food as a punishment: you must eat the unpleasant thing in unpleasant ways, or else you are irresponsible and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you must not eat anything, or else you are weak willed and deserving of great cruelty. Or, you need to get better, since eating disorders are a feminine problem, a mental health problem, a physical health problem, and being unhealthy is immoral, and unhealthy people are deserving of great cruelty. Why can't you just be normal? By the way, your entire workplace is going keto this month. Your friend is intermittent fasting. Your parents are back on Weight Watchers. Why can't you just be normal?

Then, the way white supremacy permeates it all. Different is disgusting, new is untrustworthy, flavor is unhealthy. I feel like I've been so much better since I started clean eating. That MSG gave me migraines. No, I don't mean from chips, those are fine, I mean from all the stuff they put in Chinese food. Not sure if I want to go in on some tacos, my stomach can't handle it, haha. You know that fried food is always unhealthy, right? And unhealthy is always immoral. Did you eat your vegetables today? Oh, no, of course curry doesn't count. Those vegetables were seasoned and cooked. Processed vegetables don't count. You should have a salad with that, then. You should try this quinoa salad I made. You should really be using agave instead. You should really try out this cleanse.

Food as an entitlement, too, for those with the power in this culture. Violence waged over tropical fruit. Panic over access to anything wanted at any time being interrupted, not even halted. A lack of willingness to change even the smallest amount of their diet when they find out it's killing our planet to farm this many steer, or catch this many fish (and their habitats and the bycatch), because I want steak god damnit, it's a free country!

We're sold poison for our binges and diets for our purges. Our options are growing slimmer, as time is stolen and markets are shuttered and prices continue to go up while packages continue to shrink. Health is kept behind paywalls and sickness is moralized. And somehow, you're the one who's wrong if you don't buy in.