#i like this au actually

[anonymous-dentist]

Part two of the Catboy in the Village AU

-

Cellbit wakes up handcuffed, which really doesn't bode well.

He's... moving. He's sitting up with his head pillowed on something soft, yet firm, and he's moving.

Ah. So he has been kidnapped, then. Great.

Groaning, Cellbit hides his face in his pillow's shoulder, confident that he isn't sticking his face anywhere it shouldn't be. He knows this shoulder, it's one of his favorites.

"Buenos días, gatinho," Roier warmly says. A kiss lands itself in Cellbit's hair right between his ears.

Cellbit fights the urge to purr (not now!), and he murmurs, "Am I going to be angry when I open my eyes?"

"Mmm, probably."

Cellbit sighs. So it's like that, then.

Eyes still closed, he pricks his ears up and tries to take in his environment. Horses, someone guiding them. Wheels noisily turning. Roier breathing, Cellbit himself breathing, someone else breathing. Three people total in the carriage- because they have to be in one, Cellbit doubts a supposed "prince" would be left to travel in a simple wagon.

Absolutely no signs of Richarlyson and Pepito. No arguing, no crying, no complaining. Nothing.

Slowly, Cellbit lets out a breath. He's calm.

"Roier," he asks, "where are our children?"

Roier stiffens minutely beneath him. "Um."

"Your children are fine," someone else says, and, ah, it would be her, wouldn't it?

Cellbit swallows his anger. He's calm.

He sits up, scooting closer to Roier so their arms are brushing because he is not about to be away from him right now. He opens his eyes, and he stares at the woman who has to be the newly-crowned Queen of the Gato Kingdom, and he hates.

"Your highness," he coolly says. "Where the fuck are my children?"

The queen's eyebrow twitches. "Don't call me that."

"Your highness. My children?"

"Not... with us at the moment, but I have my finest knights searching for them as we speak. Once we find them-"

She screeches as Cellbit lunges at her with his fangs bared. He can't use his hands, but that's fine, he was in prison once, he knows how to tear a throat out without using his claws.

He "oof"s as he's swiftly kicked in the chest by a heeled shoe and shoved back into his seat opposite the queen.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" the queen demands.

Cellbit answers her with a snarl and a second attempt at political assassination. This time, though, he's stopped by Roier, who grabs him around the middle with both arms and pulls him to his chest.

Immediately, Cellbit feels his body relax. Damnit.

"I told you you'd be angry," Roier hums.

He slips a hand under Cellbit's shirt and just leaves it splayed across his stomach. The queen looks mildly disturbed. What, is she homophobic, too? Rich and homophobic? Pick a struggle.

"Of course I'm angry," Cellbit sneers. He glares at the queen, who glares right back. "We've been kidnapped."

The queen rolls her eyes. "You aren't being kidnapped. You are being escorted."

"In handcuffs!"

"Yeah!" Roier agrees. "Only I can put my husband in handcuffs!"

The queen's face goes mildly green. Oh, so she is homophobic. Great.

Cellbit, though, groans and slams his head against Roier's shoulder. Roier just grins at him, the piece of shit.

"Well," the queen hesitantly says, "it was either this or ropes."

Roier protests, "Only I can put my husband in ro-"

He cuts himself off with a moan as Cellbit pinches his thigh.

"Cállate," Cellbit huffs. "She doesn't need to know."

"I really don't," the queen agrees, complete with a nod of the head. "You're my brother, I don't want or need to be hearing any of this."

(Not that the 'any of this' is real. The most extreme thing Cellbit and Roier have done in bed is play board games and lose the pieces in their blankets, but it's just so fun to make people uncomfortable.)

"I'm not," Cellbit tells her.

He tilts his head back and looks up at Roier. "Did you know that she thinks I'm the missing Gato Kingdom prince?"

Roier laughs. "What, really? You?"

Cellbit smiles. "I know, right?"

"I'm right here," the queen flatly says. "And you are my brother. His name is Cellbit, your name is Cellbit. You have feline features. Only members of-"

Cellbit finishes her sentence for her: "-the Gato royal family are cat hybrids. I know. But you're wrong."

The queen crosses her arms and her legs, her foot bouncing impatiently on the floor.

"Oh, yeah?" she asks. "How?"

"Because," Cellbit simply says.

Nothing else.

Roier snorts. He adjusts his hold on Cellbit, halfway pulling him onto his lap and hooking his chin over Cellbit's shoulder.

Cellbit looks down at Roier's very un-handcuffed hands and pouts.

"Why aren't you restrained?" he complains.

"Because I haven't tried to kill the queen," Roier smugly says. He pokes Cellbit's nose, making Cellbit go cross-eyed. "This is what you get, pendejo."

"Fuck you," Cellbit grumbles. "You didn't try to fight her a little? For me?"

"Nah. I killed all her knights, though."

Gods.

Cellbit's eyes practically glitter. "Wow. I bet you got real sweaty."

Roier nods. "And I took my shirt off."

Gods!!

Cellbit turns to glare at the queen. "You made me miss that!"

The queen's mouth opens in shock. "You tried stabbing me!"

"And you kidnapped me! I think stabbing you would've been worth it!"

"Calma, gatinho," Roier lightly says. He slips his other hand under Cellbit's shirt; his two hands link together, his thumb rubbing soothing little circles above Cellbit's bellybutton. "Don't threaten royalty when I don't have my sword."

"You aren't being kidnapped!" the queen shouts. "This could've gone a lot easier if you had just come with me to begin with!"

"And why the fuck would I do that?" Cellbit sneers.

"Because I'm your sister, idiot!"

"I'm an orphan, idiot!"

The queen bodily flinches, recoiling into the back of her seat with wide eyes and a trembling mouth.

Sensing a tense moment, Roier takes the opportunity to say, "You know, maybe he isn't your brother. Maybe I'm your brother, hm? Maybe my ears fell off in the war."

It's just the kind of statement that would blow Pepito's mind. Pepito, oh, Pepito...

Cellbit wants his kids.

The queen ignores Roier. She continues staring at Cellbit, instead.

"What happened to you?" she asks, voice hoarse.

Cellbit gives her a flat look in response. "What hasn't. I'm not who you think I am. I'm... me. You have the wrong guy."

He twists his wrists in his handcuffs. They're simple enough...

"This really isn't a good first impression," Roier adds.

As Roier continues speaking, Cellbit pops his thumb out of its socket and starts subtly pulling his hand through the cuff.

Roier says, "Like, I get you wanted to see him, but this is kinda fucked, you know? You couldn't have sent a letter? We could have had brunch, but, noooooo, you just had to show up like this and freak him out."

"I'm not freaked out," Cellbit grumbles.

(And now the other hand...)

"I didn't want it to be this way," the queen says. She looks painedly at Cellbit. "It's- I- we need you back, Cellbit. Our parents- the king and queen are both dead. You promised that you would help me when I took the throne. I've been looking for you for years, and-"

"Okay," Roier interrupts. "See? Talking's good. Gatinho, do you have anything to say?"

"Yeah," Cellbit replies. He looks at the queen, and he says, "Guapito, hold on."

He sticks his tongue out at the queen (childish, maybe, but she's pissing him off), and he slams himself against the carriage door.

And... nothing happens.

He smacks his head, and he sees stars, and he falls backwards onto the carriage's floor with a pained grunt.

The queen gives him a mocking look. "What, you didn't think I would lock the door? You really are my brother, dumbass. You haven't changed a bit."

Roier, at least, looks somewhat pitying.

"That would've been cool if it had worked?" he tries.

Cellbit just groans in response and drops his head back down onto the floor.

He used to be an escape artist. And now he's trapped in a carriage with an insane woman.

"Sit tight," the queen says, settling back into her seat and making sure to kick Cellbit in the side as she does so. "It's a long trip back to the castle."

"If I don't see my children when we're there, I'll actually kill you," Cellbit threatens.

Her lips quirk into a smirk. "You can try."

And he hates her.

[canisalbus]

✦ Pebble ✦

[archi-pelago]

maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.

[noodles-and-tea]

Last part whoo!!!

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

[084392]

had never heard of "mlp infection aus" until this month and ngl i still dont know what they are but. it made me want to draw some of them getting taken over by their cutie marks or something......

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad

Bonus sketch, because I had to vv

"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."

[reginalusus]

Alright, fuck it. *Displays their parallels via fake screenshots from a show that'll never exist.*

The first Harvey is based off a Keith Browning Harvey piece BTW. ^^

Sorry for the quality, I had to merge the GIFs into groups of two and compress the fuck out of these in order for this to post.

Ko-Fi.

[backpackingspace]

okay so post epic odyssey where odysseus and Penelope have surfaced from their room finally and he and diomedes are catching up I'm imagining the conversation going something like this

Odysseus: so then I gave up being merciful and became the monster.

Diomedes:....you tried being merciful?

Odysseus: Yes?

Diomedes: you did? You tried being a good merciful person? You?

Odysseus: Yah okay fuck off it was polties dying wish. I had to try.

Diomedes:.....90% of the war crimes in the Trojan war were suggested, planned out, and carried out by you. We literally stoned to death the guy you had a personal grudge against. We framed him for treason and stoned him to death. 70% of why Athena liked you was because she thought she knew all the ways to kill someone and then you'd suggest something insane and I'd see her taking notes. You literally gave Ajex a psyoctic break just being yourself.

Odysseus: shut up

Diomedes: I'm not wrong. Did you tell Penelope about your attempt to be a good person?

Odysseus: What? Of course I did. I told her everything.

Diomedes: did she laugh?

Odysseus:...shut up that's not the point

Diomedes: she did didn't she!!!

Odysseus: ANYWAY eurylochus wasn't appreciative of my return to monsterhood and he started causing problems so I

Diomedes: killed him? Yah saw that coming. No shit. I'm so shocked.

[blueflipflops]

Instead of Jango surviving that attack at the Fett farm, it's Arla who gone on a tunnel visioned revenge plan on those who had wronged her and hers.

It has consequences.

She tackles her identity as a mandalorian through many adventures across the galaxy as a bounty hunter, amassing quite the reputation. There's no Jaster Mereel to save her. The infighting in True Mandalorian Faction (Monstross) killed him off and the faction was left without a leader but also a very dead traitor.

Arla kills Palpatine.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? She doesn't know but she's not sticking around long enough to find out.

...

Qui-gon Jinn dies in Melida/Daan and Jedi master Tahl was too late to save him. She took in his padawan and helped the Young faction brokering peace in their planet through the blood, sweat and tears, they pushed through and the Young finally had an adult they can trust.

They still didn't have back up, no. The Elders ransacked Tahl's ship and it's too risky to sneak out to it anyway but Tahl did her best to be the responsible adult in the middle of a heart breaking war between children and their own parents. She tried her best to shield Obi-wan and the Young but the horrors of war touches everyone.

She did her best. And when the day finally comes for the peace talks, it still went to shit. A young boy named Neild still dies and the Young, grieving and angry, blamed the jedi for his death and chased them off the planet.

Tahl still held onto her new charge. Try to help him even after they get back to the Temple. Try to heal together. Learn together.

Obi-wan was returned to Temple based learning in the meantime while he heals both physically and mentally. He hangs out with his friends. Reconnect with other jedi. Being a child he is meant to be.

Tahl continues to heal.

To work and train so that she can save more people than lose another. She meditates on each of the Young's death. She contacts the Temple Corps to discreetly send help to Melida/Daan. Even if they won't accept their help at first.

'Food is always welcome in that place.' She thought grimly as she remembers the gaunt faces of such young beings that were meant to be cherished but alas the galaxy is a cold hard place.

This strengthens her resolve to bring light to the ever darkening galaxy, even a flicker to those under darkness is a warmth uncompared.

It took quite a while to convince the council to let Tahl accept Kenobi as her padawan but with the state of the young boy they worry for an unhealthy attachment. In the end, they let her.

A woman who chose him and taught him the best that she can. They had a good partnership and slowly they both healed together.

One day they recieved a mission to protect Queen Amidala and in their mission they met a woman who is incredibly bright in the Force.

Her name was Shmi Skywalker and she is a slave.

Their current situation made freeing the woman difficult but Tahl did not give up. Somehow, someway, Tahl managed to get their ship parts and smuggled out a few bands of slaves along with them.

Tahl helped them remove their chips and offered them a ride with them in their newly repaired ship, courtesy of Shmi's handiwork, despite initial disagreements from the young queen's guards. The queen gave her word to help still, as thanks to their assistance also.

'It might be a tight squeeze though.', she apologized.

Not all of them accepted her offer. Some had family in the planet before they were stolen. Some were desperate to leave the place and accepted immediately.

One of them were Shmi Skywalker.

They continued as planned.

Maul arrived the scene, young and brimming with drive to prove hinself to his master only to fall to Jedi Master Tahl's lightsaber.

They continue as planned.

The political situation did not get better. The fought and fought and—

Gunray is still arrested and Palpatine was still elected Chancellor but there is a young woman in Coruscant that shines so bright that it threatens his darkness. Nevertheless. He will continue, unknowing of the force of nature said woman would bring.

Tahl gently brought Shmi and the others to the temple to help them. Jedi Master Shaak Ti was entrusted to assist them as they were slightly more comfortable with her than the other healers.

She felt Shmi's brightness shining through the dark fog of Coruscant and understood why Tahl trusted her with their check up.

But what to do, she is clearly too old to be a jedi. But never too old to recieve help from one or a few.

It is a Jedi's nature to help after all.

After checking their health for anything that needs immediate help, the Togruta talked them through the options they now had and how the Jedi can help them.

Some joined the temple to help with the corps, some accepted their assist of subsidy to travel to a refugee friendly planet that can take them in to start a new life.

Shmi Skywalker was given a choice. It was the first in her life that she was given such a multitude in choices.

She stayed at the temple long enough to heal, she helped around the temple with whatever skills she may offer. They offered her education she did not have the choice to have back when she was a slave.

She accepted.

She healed, she lived, she learned, she rages at the injustice and she— well, she has the freedom to choose now, doesn't she?

Shmi chose to help free other slaves and, with the help of Tahl, Shaak Ti and other jedi both Corpsman and Knights, managed to collect funds and materials to return to Tatooine.

To start a revolution.

It was but a droplet of water in the not so serene lake that is the galaxy yet the ripples form quite a large picture.

They all walk the their paths of Destiny. It changes nothing yet everything. But what is 'nothing' and what is 'everything' in this galaxy where everybody has to live?

Reverse Star Wars AU writing challenge: every time canon fridges a mother, fridge the father instead. Every time a woman dies for the sake of Manpain™️, kill off the dude instead.

(I know this gets particularly complicated with Obi-Wan, because his woman-who-died-in-my-arms count is in the double digits at this point, but I have faith fandom can find a way.)

The only rule is that the story cannot be about a man. It cannot be about man angst. It has to center the women.

[joshuamj]

Okay, but what if EoW!Zelda had to impersonate Link

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

He would not go there.

[akanemnon]

I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[forgettable-au]

PROLOGUE

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 1-9)

AND SO IT BEGINS!

[CONTINUE] [MASTERPOST]

[paxopalotls]

The fanfictions are infecting me with brainrot oh my god have some au doodles before I explode

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Yeah, I don't know about you, Fidds, but I'd fold at this 🙏

Previous!!

Next!!

First!!

[batsyheere]

"So, handling your archnemesis," Danny starts. The room falls quiet, heads slowly turning to look at the man as he writes the words on the chalkboard. When finished, the characters somehow both messy and neat at once, Danny places the chalk back down and claps his hands.

"I typically call them fruitloops. Often they're in a better position than you are- older, richer, more powerful. They may have some sort of status that protects them when facing the public."

Tim wondered where Dick was right now, and if he was laughing. His brain was lagging like a computer as he tried to process what Danny was saying, and how seriously a few of his fellow teen vigilantes were taking this.

"Some of their more common tactics are-" the chalk was picked back up, and Danny writes as he speaks.

"Manipulation, isolation, conditioning, and empathy."

MICE.

Tim stares at the board, and quietly slips put his phone.

-What have I done to deserve this.

Enjoy your lessons Tim-

His head thumps against the desk. Conner leans over, gives him a pat on the shoulder but returns to taking notes as Danny goes on to explain the conditioning tactic.