#FAT JOKES AREN'T FUNNY

[kneworder]

angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)

[hummingbooks]

Do thin people realise how hurtful and humiliating (and a bunch of other stuff) it is when they say shit like "Urgh, I'm so fat"/"Oh, I'll get fat if I don't stop eating [food]" and act like gaining weight is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a person?

[dusksescape]

Be the old world fae you wanna see in the world;

Someone calls you fat? Viciously beat them with a stick of frozen butter in a sock.

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

WHAT IS WITH THIS SHOW AND ITS FAT JOKES TOWARDS THE MALE LEAD?

[luveline]

Hello! Can I request cornflower blue with Aaron, where he's just really into chubby!reader and she's so sweet to him and acts kind of similar to bombshell!reader, but is surprised and ecstatic when she finally notices that he's been flirting back?

tysm♡

You walk into Hotch's office feeling pretty and ridiculous. You know you look cute today, hair done pristine, skin dewy, your outfit one that accentuates the slopes of you (and this is all without mentioning the frankly gorgeous pair of shoes you're wearing). 

"Hello," you say. Something about Hotch makes you feel prettier. You couldn't put your finger on it, maybe it's the way he doesn't seem bemused at your flirting ('cos, oh, there's the flirty fat girl, how funny! like being sweet on people is weird when you do it). "How are you today, handsome?" 

"I'm good," he says, with a real, authentic, sticker of approval smile. "How are you?" 

"Better now I'm seeing you," you say, neatening the edges of your papers on his desk before offering them to a big hand. 

"I could say the same thing," he murmurs, looking down at the papers you've passed him with that boss look about him. He has to check your paperwork before it's submitted, of course, and this batch is a little late, so that's probably why he's happy to see you.

"Charmer. Do you need my help with anything while I'm here? I'm free." 

"You, free?" he says, still looking at the papers, one held above the pile, grabbing for a pen blindly. "In what world?" 

"This one, if you can believe it! Hotch, you understand me like nobody else does." You put on a saccharine, movie star tone, silky and smooth as you sit in the slippery leather chair in front of his desk. Elbows on the desk, you place your chin in your hand and watch him correct things you've written with a dreamy expression that isn't even really fake.

You quite like turning Hotch's innocuous comments into flirtation, if only to see his smile, but today the smile seems different. Almost like he knows something you don't know. You press your pinky finger over your lips and try to work it out. 

… Is Hotch flirting back? There's nothing to do but test it. 

"How do you make paperwork look good?" you ask. And it's important to note that you mean what you say, even if your compliments are said in a teasing, sunny manner. "Is there anything you can't do?" 

"Careful," he says, turning a page. Well, maybe he isn't flirting– "You might get something you aren't looking for." 

Your heart is a bat out of hell, leaping from your chest. "I'm always looking for something as long as you're the one giving it, Hotch... I've been thinking I'd quite like a new moniker, if you're up to it." 

He places the paperwork down into a tidy tray and leans back just a touch in his chair (what the fuck). "What would you have me call you?" he asks quietly. 

"Any Sweetheart will do." Is this real? Is he really giving it back to you? "Puppy love, angel, valentine. You could take your pick."

"Why don't you choose one for me?" 

You stand up from your chair and shake your head at him, fizzy energy with nowhere to go. "Handsome, you're in a mood. I'm going to do a lap, okay? Before I combust. Think you can get this," —you gesture to his chest in a big circle— "under wraps, or shall I start picking out colours for our engagement party invitations?" you ask. 

Hotch laughs and opens one of his desk drawers. You consider the joking over, and while you're disappointed, you're not surprised. That is, until he says, "I like eggshell white over cream, but I'm sure you'll make the right decision, angel." 

[suiana]

YK WHAT IS MISSING IN YOUR MASTERLIST ???? YOU MISSING A YANDERE DETECTIVE

ur right

here have a yan detective based on this pic (hes in disguise) (yan detective is all of them)

(yan! detective x gn! player reader)

you stare at him, yawning as you pull out your phone and chat with your side chick. seriously, this guy has got to be the most boring guy you've ever met. the only thing remotely interesting about him being his fat wallet and ass.

yep, right now you were in a date with one of your side chicks. the newest to your collection. you met him a little over a month ago and decided to give him a chance after he revealed his deep interest in you... you were still a bit weirded out after he showed you just how much he knew of you. was he some sort of detective or something? would be funny if he was.

"hey- darling? i just-"

"don't call me darling, we aren't dating."

you hum, texting your second side chick whom you met online. he was really cute. far more entertaining than this... boring guy you're on a date with right now.

however, he was not online which is just such a shame because you have so much you want to talk about but no one available to talk to... maybe you'll go to the other side chick-

"are you talking to other men?"

you look up and stare at him with narrowed eyes.

"and if i am? you should already know that I'm a player. plus, we aren't even-"

*ding!*

you look down at your phone and see a new text message from the guy. you were about to smile until you realized that it was a picture of you sleeping. what? how did he get this? surely this was... ai generated right?

"i know all about you darling."

the guy sitting opposite from you suddenly speaks up, momentarily distracting you from the picture. you open your mouth, processing his words. wait, what did he mean by that?

"i sent that picture. the guy you're talking to."

huh?

but... that can't be possible-

"in fact, I'm the only one you've been talking to this whole time. there's no one called charlie, no one called evan... only me. just me... and you."

he smiles as he giggles creepily. you feel a shiver run down your spine as you stare into his eyes. he couldn't be serious right?! yeah, he has got to be joking....

"haha... funny joke..!"

"it's not a joke darling. i'm being very serious right now."

he smiles at you, completely composed while you felt your composure break under his gaze.

"but-"

"didn't you find it weird how i knew so much about you?"

huh?

"how i seemed to know every single detail of your life?"

wait- he couldn't actually be-

"that's right. I'm your fbi detective. and i'm completely obsessed with you."

he holds your hand in his, grip so strong you couldn't do anything but pray to whoever was above for mercy.

ah shit. maybe you should have rejected his advances.

[nonbinary-potatoes]

Prompt: death 09/10/24 @wolfstarmicrofic

Word count: 650

Sirius eyed the envelope warily, Remus had been gone for months now. He had been sent on a mission not long after their wedding. It wasn't a legal one, but it was all the same to Sirius. Slip of paper signed or not, all their close friends knew that he was a Lupin now, and that's what mattered - not government bodies or his higher ups at the order but who cared for them.

Before they'd gotten married, but after they'd joined the order, Sirius and Remus sat down and wrote a letter together. Just in case letters. They'd gotten the idea from Lily and James who'd done the same, something for the other to cherish if the other didn't come back one day.

Remus had been MIA for four months now.

Presumed dead.

Sirius didn't want to believe it.

The mission was only supposed to last a week, infiltrate and spy on werewolf colonies up north. Nothing to do with greyback or voldemort, just Intel.

"You don't have to open it." Sirius looked across the table, and Regulus was sat there toying the edges of the envelope. He shouldn't have been there. He was missing as well. But Sirius had started seeing people he shouldn't see not long after Remus left, like his sanity had walked out the door with him.

"He's not dead," Sirius whispered, not even wanting to entertain the thought. Like it was unfathomable for Remus to die, not after everything they'd been, though. Sirius toyed with his wedding ring. It was wooden because after paying for the flat, they couldn't afford much better from the inheritance Alphard had left.

"What is death anyway, Si?" Fake Regulus mused, still dancing around the pristine envelope. It hadn't even had the time to yellow and wither. "I'm dead, aren't I?" He smiled and pushed the letter towards Sirius.

Sirius shook his head hard. "You're not dead... you're just missing, like Remus is, " he murmured, picking the envelope up from the table. He bit the bullet and opened it, his eyes refusing to read the words. As if if he didn't read them Remus couldn't possibly be dead. As long as the letter was unread, he was still alive.

Sirius.

If you're reading this, I'm probably dead... or maybe sat with you in twenty years' time with a fat glass of red, and we're laughing over our cringe worthy confessions from when we were young and at war. Hopefully, that. Enjoy the wine future me. I hope you wrote something funny. You probably wrote a joke or something to cheer me up even if you're dead.

I hope we got married, and went on a honeymoon somewhere nice... maybe Greece or something. I think I'd like Greece.

I hope James and Lily managed to have a kid, James always wanted to be a dad.

I hope I got to meet my neice or nephew, James was always like a brother to me. Make sure he knows that.

I hope you'll be okay without me, Sirius.

Don't bury me, I don't like the idea of being under all that dirt and being walked all over. Maybe give me a viking funeral or something cool like that. My body and all my prized possessions burnt and pushed out to sea, off that nice quiet beach where I grew up. That's what I want.

I love you. Now, forever and always.

Watching over you,

Remus J.  Lupin (but maybe it'll be Black by the time you read this, I hope so)

When Sirius looked up again, tears swelling in his eyes and a stubborn lump in his throat. There at the table, smiling sweetly was Remus in Regulus' place.

"You're never really apart from those you love im right here," he spoke, jabbing a finger into Sirius' chest over his heart. It felt so real. But his voice was wrong. Sirius couldn't even remember what it was supposed to sound like anymore.

[midnight-mourning]

DCA Promptober Day 14: Knock

There's this youtube animated horror short out there, I think it's called Francis? Anyway, I watched that when I was younger and didn't sleep for months. This was inspired by my memories of that.

Word count: 867

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

"Knock-knock!"

"Who's there?"

A pause, he's thinking, "Canoe."

"Canoe who?" You ask, giggling.

"Canoe come over and play?" Sun then bursts out laughing, and you can't help but do the same.

You settle down, snuggling further into his arms, "That was a good one, I'll admit."

"As you should, I only make the best of the best knock-knock jokes!" He crosses his arms, head held high. 

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

Sun leans over to look down at you, "That sounds like an admission of defeat, Starlight~"

"Fat chance," You scoff, "Just give me a second to think."

His rays tick to the side like a clock, you know he's doing it to tease you. 

For a split second though, the ticking sounds off to your ears. You feel dizzy, your head hurts. What's going on-

"Is everything okay, Sunbeam?"

You shake your head, Sun's still staring down at you. You blink, his face changes for a moment. Red eyes, black and white color scheme, a hat-

You blink. It's just Sun.

You bite your lip for a moment, then smile, "Yeah, think I might be just a bit tired is all."

"Oh! Then maybe you should take a nap," He says, tone shifting at the end there. Almost glitching. Your vision flashes again. 

"I, you? Suggest a nap of all things?" You laugh, nervous, "How out of character for you, Sun."

He just stares at you. You look away after a moment. 

Suddenly, his hand reaches under your chin, forcing you to focus back on him. 

He tilts his head, "Tell your joke, Star."

"Knock-knock."

"Who's there?" His grin almost feels threatening from this angle.

You swallow, "Boo."

The room takes on a quivering now. Everything around you rumbling and glitching. It gets hard to see. You have to close your eyes.

"Boo who?"

Your hand clutches onto the Attendant's pant leg, "Sun I'm scared."

You initially just get a raspy chuckle as a response.

"I don't believe that's part of the joke now, is it?" You hear several clicks, and can feel him lean down closer, "Because if so, it's not a very funny one."

You whimper. Your body feels wrong, everything feels wrong. You don't want to open your eyes. 

The bot tuts, "Oh, come on now, friend. It's just a simple joke. Surely you can handle that."

You stay quiet, then he sighs. 

"Open your eyes, love."

You shake your head.

"Open." A sharp click, "Your eyes."

You relent.

It's just Sun. 

He runs a hand over your hair, soothing, "See? Everything's juuust fine. Now, will you tell me your joke?"

"I, o-okay."

He waits, hand stopping its motion.

You take a deep breath, and try again, "Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

You hesitate. Everything seems normal. Maybe you were just going crazy.

"Boo." Again, nothing's off. It's just Sun.

His voice is soft, sweet, "Boo who?"

"Don't cry, it's just a joke!" You try to add extra enthusiasm to hide your nervousness.

Sun's rays rotate slowly. Then, he laughs. He laughs hard. As he continues to outright cackle you shrink further and further in on yourself, but being stuck in his lap you have nowhere else to go. 

He pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, "Oh, how clever. You really got me!"

"Y-yeah?" You ask, smile awkward. 

He sighs, "Yes, but Starlight," His tone has a cheeky glee to it.

"Hm?"

"Aren't you the one who shouldn't be crying?" Out of the corner of your eye you see him raise his hand, "Afterall~"

It rushes down towards you, and you gasp.

"It's just a joke!"

You wake up with a start, breathing heavy. 

Your hand goes to your chest. There's no gaping hole. It's fine. You're fine.

It takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the level of darkness you're in. You're in a closet or something. You sit up, finding that you've been laying hap-hazardly on a pile of, stuffed animals?

Looking around further, you see that there's crayon drawings hanging on the walls, assorted toys, string lights which aren't currently in use. 

You realize that you're in the Daycare Attendant's room.

Knock-knock.

You freeze, ears straining to find where the noise came from. Or if you just imagined it-

Knock-knock. 

It's a bit louder this time, but only slightly. It sounds closer, too. Your eyes scan the space and see nothing. How did you even get in here?

Knock-knock.

Your head is pounding, and your memory is fuzzy. Nothing makes much sense. You do your best to sit up, and while there's no visible wound your entire body aches. You want to say it's from your sleeping position, but something in your gut tells you it’s not.

Knock-knock. 

You must be losing your mind. There's no logical place as to where that noise could be coming from. From what your eyes can make out, there's nothing in here besides you. You're almost certain of it.

Knock-knock.

It's then that you think to look over to the entrance to the room. And you find your answer.

There's a hand on the edge of the door. Behind it is a grinning visage with red eyes. 

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

I think you already know.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Damn y'all got TWO unhinged robots today didn't you? What a nice little treat. Other promptobers are here, thanks for reading!

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

if you haven't yet, could you do some HC's of a chubby listener with da bois? (specifically Lucien and Finn por favor) ((Jack is also appreciated 😜)) (((also, please don't overwork yourself! take your time!! you deserve it!!!)))

Whole lot of lovin'

I've also done Alphonse and Seth with a chubby s/o

Had to lock in and see if I did any other boys.

Lucien

Loves it here and is snuggling into your stomach. No he won't get up bc u have work he needs to be cuddled.

His hands are always on you if it's not he's planning to touch you (woah sounds wrong) and is grabbing on you

Will fight someone if they say some shit to you. Full on death glare behind you making them fear him

If he ever goes clothes shopping with you he's looking at the fashion and saying that stupid. Why are the shoulder out?!

I can see him picking you up after saying I'm too heavy. Angel dove, ur like a feather to me.

Read somewhere on the internet about a meme "I love fat bitches." Doesn't know if he should ask if that's him.... (it so is but i can see him not fully knowing if it's a bad or good thing)

Finn

One time cried when you said u worked on being funny bc u weren't pretty. Started always calling you a pretty Sunflower plz he's so sweet.

100% kicked someone out when they said some fatphobic shit to you. Was actually close to punching them made sure to talk to you incase anything that asshole said sticked.

Finn is lowkey like how much can I touch them or what if they don't wanna be touched? Just tell him he can or he's gonna overthink too much.

He knows that sometimes it's hard to shop for people who aren't like a certain size bc all the food clothes go to people who are smaller

Bc of that I think he'd try and make some clothes for you! Or find a shop that will actually have ur size than lie that they do bc he knows it discourages you.

Jack

Tall skinny man x big partner type shit. Can he handle all of that🗣 (this is a joke plz don't hurt me) but no fr he loves u

When he first say u he paused bc of how cute ur face looked to him- like holy shit ur cheeks look squishy

If anyone on campus says some shit to u he's destroying them. Like verbally bc he had a friend who had a debate club and picked up a few things.

Since he's had like a lot of odd jobs I can see him knowing a few shops that actually make good clothes that actually fit and look good on you!

He might look like a twig but he got strength to him so he can pick you up a big to give you a big hug after a bad day.

[poisonheiress]

I feel like more people need to talk about the fatphobia in Helluva Boss. Besides the"fat jokes aren't funny and are actually just assholish" conversations, making Mammon be fatphobic towards Fizz just doesn't have the same impact as Vivzie intended it to have or really an impact at all when you look back at all the fat jokes towards Moxie that Luna and Blitzo have made.

Some may argue that Luna and Blitzo were joking, but while Blitz's one line may fall under that argument, Luna's doesn't. From tone, to when/where the joke was said, to Moxie's reaction, Luna makes those comments or "jokes" to be mean to Moxie, and does not feel sorry for what she did. While this does solidify Luna's character and the idea that no joke is off limits for Vivzie so to speak, it also unintentionally lays the ground work that fatphobia is fine both in the show and in hell. While this agrees with the "its hell" argument that Vivzie always pulls out to defend her questionable character decisions, it doesn't work with the audience taking Mammon's comment towards Fizz as something we should actually care about.

You can't make fat jokes towards other characters and at the same time, tell the audience that fatphobia is bad simply because its a villain that's doing it especially in Hell where most moralities fall under morally grey. It's like having those at I.M.P critique someone for being a mercenary and killing humans; it doesn't work.

It's horrible writing and its makes the creators and the characters themselves hypocrites . Blitzo being a hypocrite could work cause he is piles of messed up, but the show nor its creator show it as that. Instead, they show it as a moment that helps solidify to Blitzo how bad Mammon is both for Fiz and the general public. In the end, Vivzie shot herself in the foot again and its now becoming more clear due to just how many times shes done it.

Of course, there is also the added issues of one of the few fat characters (if the only one) Vivzie shows being the one to be fatphobic while also being depicted with so many fatphobic media stereotypes, but that's for another post.

[pixiemage]

I legitimately think a lot of people get too hung up on how other people write or draw characters (both in MCYT and outside of it). I sometimes feel like there's so much bitterness towards fellow fandom members just because they've chosen to enjoy a character or corner of the fandom in a different way. Do you picture the characters the same way the creators are IRL? Fun! Do you have a much more fanonized interpretation because you want to separate the characters from creators? Great! Do you tend to lean toward one kind of design overall in your art because that's just how you enjoy the act of creation? Fantastic!

Short, tall, thin, fat, human, hybrid, something entirely undefinable - every single option is correct. Every single option is right. That's the point of creativity and creative liberty. That's the point of fandom and the whole reason why fan art and fan fiction exist - to take what canon gives you and make something, whether that something clings to canon's every note, or if that something turns canon on its head. Especially if it turns canon on its head.

This is a vast fanbase built upon a sandbox game, and any creations we make should be treated the same. It doesn't matter if it doesn't fit the bill for what someone else thinks, and it doesn't matter if it doesn't fit some standard mold. If everyone else views Grian as a parrot avian, but you love writing him as a cod? Do it! If a lot of folks depict Tango as a blazeborn, but you fucking love the idea of him being an android? Well, for god's sake, what's stopping you? Make him an android! Does everyone else write Bdubs as short, but you think it'd be really funny if he was taller than half the hermits, so the short jokes are even more ridiculous? Then, holy shit, I wanna see that!

But to roll back to the point, fan creations is meant to be fun. And all of you out there being picky? As a viewer of other peoples' art and writing, don't go telling people they're "doing it wrong". Don't be critical. Don't tell someone they need to "do better" if their portrayal doesn't line up with what's in your head. There's no rules here. And similarly, there's no quota we need to meet on variety. There's no law someone is breaking if they're not following your expectations. If you're a viewer of art and fics, and you're pissed at someone because you believe they don't draw or write someone tall enough or short enough or thin enough or fat enough or young enough or old enough - make it yourself. Don't detract from someone else's joy just because their version of having fun in the fandom doesn't line up with yours.

People are going to create what they love. People write and draw from a place of inspiration and enjoyment and fun. If they choose to share it, they're doing that for free and of their own free will. They didn't share it for you. Fan artists and fan writers aren't here to be your dancing monkeys, we're here to just have fun. If you aren't seeing enough of whatever you're expecting to see, then don't demand it from other people who were proud enough of a piece of art to share it with the world. Make it yourself.

[vctrvn-ls]

Heeyy idk if u write ff right now but if u do can u please do a niko o/s where him nd the reader are together nd they are filming woth the beta squad nd he keeps violating her as joke etc.(im literally head over heels for that man)

same bb Niko has my heart <3

Walmart Duster |Niko|

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Yes? Hello." You held your phone up to your head with your shoulder as you rummaged through your bag "Yes I got my costume. Yes give me five minutes I'm almost there. Bye." You put your phone down and continued searching for your lipgloss that had fallen to the bottom of your bag.

Suddenly your phone began buzzing again.

"Shit," you picked it up "Oh excuse me sir take a right there, it's quicker." You pointed to the driver. "Hello?" You answered "Yes I'm coming. Chunkz just called...I'm the Grinch, why?"

"We're almost here, miss."

"Yes perfect- No one told me who to dress up as...You know what we'll talk inside. I'm here." You turned off your phone and tossed it into your bag.

"Thank you, please pick me up at 8pm." You got out of the car and took your hanger with your costume out of the trunk.

As you turned to the familiar Beta Squad house you instantly recognized Chunkz and AJ at the front door waving.

You chuckle to yourself and made your way over to the two of them.

"Finally, she makes it." Chunkz sarcastically claps his hands glancing at AJ who's just genuinely happy you're here.

"Lemme help with that." AJ took the costume cover and went inside while you hugged Chunkz hello.

"Good ride?"

"Yeah, nothing special." You shrugged as he held the door open for you to enter.

You were met with a series of cheers from the Beta couch.

"Hey guys!" You laugh in excitement and wave to everyone, a little overwhelmed by all the emotions. Kenny and Sharky get up to come greet you, which rose the question: Where was Niko?

"Hey!" Everyone in the hallway heard an annoyed yell from somewhere inside the house.

Well, speak of the devil.

You heard a series of footsteps and as they turned the corner, a tall green thing stood before you.

Honestly you only recognized that it was Niko because of his height. Instantly you burst out laughing, not being able to contain yourself, stomach already in pain.

Everyone else joined you.

"What was that?" Niko pointed behind him from the direction he came from.

Everyone exchanged confused, but on the verge of laughing, glances. In the moment AJ walked in from Niko's side, and you understood what he was implying at.

"What is your costume?" He pointed at you with his abnormally long and funny finger.

You tried to contain yourself from just laughing in response to his question, given his green state, but you managed to squeeze out "The Grinch?"

"Nooo!" He dramatically threw his arms up and turned on the spot like the drama queen he was. "I'm The Grinch."

"Same."

"No. There can only be one grinch. You aren't even the grinch, i-it was just a green fuzzy dress or whatever."

You couldn't tell if he was joking or being for real, because that's how it was with Niko most of the time, so you just went along "Even with just a fuzzy dress I'll be The Grinch. You're just a Grinch." Now that wasn't true at all, Niko was definitely THE Grinch with his totally over the top green face and big bushy eyebrows, but you said it so confidently that it almost sounded convincing.

Before Niko could reply or come up with a witty comeback like 'your mama so fat' Chunkz interrupted "Right everyone," he clapped his hands "Twenty minutes to get ready and then we'll film the intro."

Niko scoffed and stomped away, extra dramatically, while everyone else went to change into their costumes.

You slipped into your fuzzy green dress, pulled on some red elbow gloves and a Santa hat.

It wasn't really Christmas yet, not even close, it was in two weeks, but you knew the boys always filmed guest videos in advance just because it was more practical.

The forfeit for this video was a plate of the most disgusting food combinations ever, each numbered from 1-10. You had to pull out a number and whatever it matched up with went in your mouth.

After everyone separately filmed their part for the intro, you all gathered in the Mafia room and that's exactly when you got to see Niko in his full costume.

You honestly didn't know wether to laugh or be impressed.

"You look like a duster." He mumbled meanly as he felt you eyeing him up and down.

"I think we should sit the two Grinches next to each other." Sharky stated.

"Nothing would more disgraceful than sitting next to a green duster from Walmart." The cameras were already rolling so it was hard to tell what was being said for real and what was being said for content, you just genuinely laughed at his joke and purposefully sat down next to him.

He side-eyed you as you beamed at him, annoying him even more.

"Niko really thought he was being original by dressing up as the Grinch." Chunkz said to the camera as he pointed at Niko with his thumb.

"Yes!" Niko squeaked in a high pitched voice "Everyone drop what you're doing and comment right now that she looks like a Walmart duster!"

You dropped your mouth open in offense as you tried to suppress a laugh.

"Yeah, to be fair you kinda do." Chunkz says adding his little giggle at the end making everything ten times as funny and sending laughs through the room.

"The disrespect," you tried to speak through your own chuckles.

"Anyway!" He cut off the laughter just as easily as he had started it "Let's pick the caaaards."

Everyone took a card and secretively looked.

MAFIA

You suppressed a small grin and put your card under the couch.

This was gonna be good.

"Everyone!" Chunkz shouted "Close. Your. Eyes."

The tension rose in the room.

"Mafia!" He announces dramatically "Open. Your. Eyes."

You slowly opened your eyes, and without moving your head looked around. Not Sharky, not AJ beside him. Chunkz or Kenny? You glance to your left, no. Both of their eyes were closed...Which left...Niko.

You slowly looked up seeing his eyes open and stuck onto you. You bit your lip trying not to break into laughter from how hilarious he looked with all the makeup and extra long brows, you sent him a little wave, careful not to make too much noise, he moved his mouth but you didn't get any of the words he was trying to pronounce. You rose a brow and shook your head, telling him that you didn't understand.

He turned to the camera and rolled his eyes, as if saying "she's so dumb" to which you responded with a middle finger to his face.

"Mafia! Close. Your. Eyes...Everyone wake up!"

Everyone's eyes shot open and the accusations began to flood in.

"Why are you smiling Kenny?"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Yep it's Chunkz I heard his snowman suit rustling."

"I think it's Niko." AJ says slyly.

You nod "Definitely. I heard his eyes open."

Everyone laughs at your comment.

"I think we need to eliminate her." Niko places a finger on your shoulder "She has committed a crime. The crime of dressing up as a green duster from Walmart."

Of course everyone starts laughing, including you, but for real this was starting to piss you off. After all you wanted to win this, preferably also getting your revenge at Niko.

First round AJ was voted out. Why? No one knows, maybe it was because he didn't take anything seriously and as per usual he barely had any of his gross food for forfeit.

"That's gonna be you next." You heard Niko's low voice in your ear as he pointed with his hairy Grinch finger to coughing and struggling AJ. You furrowed your eyebrows and turned around almost head butting him, catching him off guard at how close your face was to his.

"You're going down, Omilana." You said narrowing your eyes, sending vibes of those bullies in cartoon shows.

As the second round started, suspicions were being aimed at Niko because he was being very talkative, but you decided not to go at him straight away.

"Guys, guys. You can't vote me out and leave her here. It would disgrace the Grinch race!" He said into the camera raising his hairy eyebrows. And there he was defending himself with the duster jokes again.

"You even thinking you could pull that off is a disgrace."

"Sorry I don't speak duster." Niko turned to you.

"Why'd you need to fake big hairy eyebrows when you could've just painted over your own big hairy eyebrows?"

"Wooaahhh!" The room filled with laughs, impressed calls and wheezes as everyone watched you and Niko scrap about nothing.

"Aye you guys might as well lips now." Chunkz slipped in those words that changed which whole atmosphere. You and Niko stared at him in shock while everyone else burst into laughter. A small smile edged on your lips as you slowly looked over at Niko. His expression was priceless. Mouth open, eyebrows up and eyes as big as saucers. You giggled nudging him in the ribs.

"Don't talk to me, duster." Niko crossed his arms over his fake big belly and tried to move away from you.

"Even though you're taller than me, I feel like I'm looking down at you."

"VIO! VIO!" Sharky pointed at Niko, who's mouth was open again.

"Woooow," Chunkz's eyes were huge as he looked at you "Did you get that?" He turned to the camera and held his finger up "Gyal said even though I'm shorter than you, I feel like im looking down at you."

No one expected that, and you were genuinely proud of yourself. You shot Niko sneaky look and nudged him in the ribs again.

"Ow!" He yelled bending down this time reacting.

So far the game was looking good for you. Sharky had his suspicions on Chunkz and Niko.  Kenny had his suspicions on Niko and you, but that didn't matter because Chunkz had his suspicions on Niko and Sharky.

Honestly you could've probably won next round if you had sided with Niko somehow, maybe if you thought a little about how to point fingers at Kenny because of how bad he was at Mafia. But no. Your plan was to win and alongside that see Niko coughing up some cow tongue or pickled eggs.

"Everyone tell me what is your card right now." You proclaimed enthusiastically, previously mentioning that you had a special trick.

"8 of hearts." Sharky replied without even thinking.

"6 of clubs?" Kenny asked more than said.

"9 of diamonds." Chunkz answered and looked at Niko who was supposed to respond next.

"7 of spades." Niko made up his card "Wait are we even allowed to do that?"

And this is where your plan stepped in.

"7 of spades?" You ask him, doing your best to act surprised, Sharky and Chunkz observed your reaction, taking it in as a genuine one.

"Yes." Niko laughed in slight confusion, sure that you'd back him as his partner in crime.

"Why what's yours?" Sharky quizzed leaning in.

"I have seven of spades." Your tone was low, like in those movies when the detective finally figures out who the murderer was.

Being totally clueless everyone breaks into gasps, naively believing you.

"Wait wait wait," Niko continued laughing nervously "She could be lying." But coming from his mouth it sounded not so convincing.

"I know it's you." You pointed at his chest, riling him up for real as he let out an offended scoff "This just proves it."

"I mean she could be lying. They were messing since the beginning of the game." Sharky pointed out.

"Was it messing or flirting?" Chunkz joked and you raised your eyebrows. You were about to end those jokes.

"If I was Mafia I would've sided with him."

"Would you now?" Niko said chuckling dryly at the irony, but no one payed attention to him.

"Mafias aren't allowed to go against each other right?"

"Wooaahh, did everyone get that?" Chunkz pointed at you. You cringed inside realizing that the phrasing was poor and now the situation looked bad for you.

"What? I'm just asking." You said innocently.

"You realize that if it's not Niko we're all gonna think it's you?" Sharky said.

"It's not me though. Listen guys I just wanna win this."

"Yeah win as the Mafia by getting an innocent civilian out!" Niko threw his arms up.

"I'm willing to bet that it's definitely Niko." Kenny said which was the starting point of voting.

"Same."

"No no no guys," Niko leaned onto the back of the couch in defeat. He saw your eyes sparkle with passion for the game and obvious revenge.

After the voting Niko was obviously out and the five of you headed to the table of gross food.

While you walked there you had managed to poke Niko three times without anyone noticing which absolutely sent him. He was so pissed he thought he was going to burst.

You secretly winked at the camera before turning to the table where Niko sat, nervously eyeing the laid out disgusting food, if you could even call it that.

"You guys are making a big mistake, it's her! It's the duster!" But it was too late for jokes now, he was already sat at the table, ready to pick out a number.

"Shush you." You held out the hat with the numbered pieces of paper. "The best Grinch wins." You grin from ear to ear as he picks up a folded piece of paper, glaring up at you.

"5." Niko reads and everyone starts searching for dish number 5 on the table.

"That's brains." AJ says.

"You shush you're already out you pussy." Niko points at AJ who was peaking from the other side of the table.

"Shit it is brains." You look at the plate that looked vile. A grey splat of goo with little wavy lines on it. As Niko takes the plate and puts it in front of him everyone "ew's".

"Maybe it's not so bad." He takes the knife and fork.

"No that is bad." Kenny laughs from behind him. Niko cautiously begins cutting a piece of the brain and as he slices, a splash of liquid shoots outs to the side, making you gag and cough.

"That is disgu-" you gag again covering your mouth.

"Now now don't do that!" Niko yells out without taking his eyes off the brain. "If someone throws up I'm throwing up right after them."

"Yeah, if you guys didn't know that's actually for real. Like Niko can eat the most disgusting foods but if someone gags he's done." Chunkz says to the camera and then proceeds to titter making everyone else laugh.

"Alright it's time for you to eat that Mister Nikolas Omilana." Chunkz announced.

"Wait let me ju-"

"Nah nah stop the waffling." AJ laughs.

"Shut up you rat. You're out."

"Eat it Niko!" You shouted standing a meter away from the table so you didn't have to see the brains that clearly.

Hesitantly, Niko lifted up the fork that had a grey slimy piece on it. Everyone paused as he took a bite. He chewed three times before almost spitting it out.

The room filled with laughs and "ooh's" as Niko really struggled to chew. Despite being seconds away from throwing up yourself you wanted Niko to really suffer.

"Accept your defeat by a duster." You whispered theatrically while squeezing his shoulders. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, hastily getting up and running over to the kitchen sink spitting everything out and coughing.

"Please, water." Niko winced at the disgusting aftertaste, but neither you nor the boys went over to help. Everyone was too busy laughing and talking while George filmed Niko suffering in the kitchen.

"That's what you get for calling me a duster." You turned to the other camera and smiled.

"Reveal your caaaard!" Chunkz shouted, and Niko pulled out his king of spades while still coughing over the sink.

Everyone cheered and you and Sharky held hands while jumping in a circle and chanting "Niko's a schmuck! Niko's a schmuck!"

Fast forward to the intense moment of you, Chunkz and Sharky deciding who the last mafia was. Getting Kenny out was easy because he was making zero sense in his arguments.

Just like earlier in the game, Sharky still had his suspicions on Chunkz and before Chunkz could say anything you brought up the fact that when everyone voted for AJ he voted for you, giving you some sort of reason to vote for him.

By now obviously Chunkz had a hunch that it was you, but Sharky wouldn't believe him anyway since he was fully convinced that Chunkz was the imposter. And after the final voting it was Chunkz's turn.

"Pickled eggs isn't even that bad!" Niko exclaimed.

"Shut it." Chunkz spat "Idiot." He took the fork and poked the jiggly egg.

"Hurry up." Sharky said impatiently, bouncing on the spot. But it was over for him. You had won already, just how you wanted.

"Eeewww," Chunkz managed to say as he swallowed a piece of the egg. "See that's how real men do it you pussio." Chunkz looked at Niko, stating the fact that he had managed to eat without spitting all over the sink.

"I had BRAINS!" Niko squeaked in defense.

"What's your card!?" Sharky shouted over the top of them.

Chunkz rummaged through his suit and pulled out the card from god knows where and slammed it onto the table right in front of Sharky.

"You idiot!" Chunkz sneered as Sharky let out a wail.

"Nooo!" He whined "Wait what? It was you?!"

"WE WOOONNN!" You shouted jumping up and down around Niko who was clearly pissed.

"I do not associate myself with her." Niko said into the lens as you continued celebrating.

"Gyal got brains." Chunkz laughed into Nikos face "She got you and we all believed her. You disgrace." Chunkz flicked his wrist.

"Cmon smile, we won!" You grinned sitting down next to Niko on a chair in a red lit room. You were filming the comments now and you had to talk about the victory.

"I don't even want to talk to her." Niko says into the camera pointing at you.

"There are two Mafias. We were supposed to work together." Niko articulated.

"Well maybe you should've stopped violating me every two seconds." You pointed out.

"Someone please evacuate her out of this building." Niko put his hairy gloved hand over your face.

"Niko!" You moved his hand away and spat out little pieces of green hair. The two of you shared a laugh before continuing to film.

After the civilians filmed their part under green lighting, the shooting for the day was finally over.

"Hey how about we order some pizza?" AJ suggested "Will you be staying longer?" He asked you. You glanced at the time, it was 6:27pm.

"Yeah, I've got time till 8:00." You said taking off your Santa hat and running your hand through your hair.

"Sweet."

"Yeah Sharky's gonna order because he's the dumbest idiot I've ever met." Chunkz says.

"Wha-I was sure it wasn't her!"

"Yeah yeah whatever."

"Alright who wants what?"

After figuring out the order everyone went to change back into their normal clothes.

You pulled Niko aside and made him take photos with you, Grinch with Grinch, that type of thing. He looked hilarious. You tried to pose in a cute way in the mirror, more or less, but Niko just stood there like a statue and pierced you with his gaze through the mirror.

"Relax," you laughed snapping a photo as you stood on your tiptoes to not seem so short.

"Get down," he pushed your shoulder "Stay short."

You rolled your eyes and after a few more photos, this time on his phone, you both went to change...well Niko had to scrub his face off to get that green paint of his face.

The rest of the evening was calm, you all chatted and ate, while a boring movie played in the background. You talked about mafia, work and future projects that might be coming up.

Today was pleasant, filming with the boys was always fun, you just wished you could do it more.

"Thank you for having me guys." You were enveloped by a big group hug.

"Thank you for coming." Chunkz said.

"Yeah today was fun." Sharky agreed.

"I'll see you guys, hopefully soon." You let go of them and picked up your bag.

"Niko will help you with this, right?" Kenny grinned at his friend as he held up the hanger with the costume cover, which had the "duster dress" inside it. Niko rolled his eyes and took the costume "Yeah." He said not so enthusiastically and followed you.

"Bye guys!" You waved the final time as you and Niko walked over to your driver's car.

As the two of you walked you shared some enjoyable silence with mutual smiles on your faces. He helped you put the costume in the backseat and as you were about to get into the car he finally decided to speak up "Hey I was wondering." He began with a slight smile on his face "Could I like, maybe, get your number?"

You were surprised, but overjoyed at the fact that he asked, not being able to hold in the beaming grin that shone on your face.

"I need to track you down and burn that dress."

You chuckled and nodded answering with a simple “yeah” to not seem too excited.

You decided to ignore the fact that he could've just texted you on Instagram and asked there, but maybe this was his way of showing his interest in you.

"On one condition though," you paused before typing your number into his contacts.

He raised his eyebrows and waited for you to continue.

"You don't name me Duster in your chats."

He nodded "Oh yeah yeah, of course not."

"Uhuh?"

He shook his head "Nah it's a dead joke."

You weren't convinced at all, but still put your number in his phone and handed it to him.

He smiled in response.

"You have a very weird way of getting girls. Violate them and then ask for their number."

He shrugged "Part of the rizz you know?"

You laugh at his comment and pull him into a hug "Bye Omilana."

"Peace to all." He tapped your shoulder.

You roll your eyes and get into the car and, as your driver greeted you and double checked that you were going home, Niko kept waving.

You waved in response before you turned the corner, and almost instantly your phone buzzed. You opened your messages only to be met with this:

[chaifootsteps]

https://www.tumblr.com/chaifootsteps/757935266774319104/httpstwittercomsenlena47status18200388203453

> This tweet confirms that Pentious's bottom is overweight

> oh yes

> Someone says that Pentious might receive similar comments like Moxxie being described as fat in future Hazbin Hotel episodes🤔

> Moxxie fat jokes aren't funny. Infact, fatphobic.

> OH. NO.

NO, NO, NO. DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, VIV.

NO MAKING SIR PENTIOUS FEEL BAD ABOUT HIS GIANT POT ROAST.

DISALLOWED.

[jaetyun]

infrunami.

14. keep your friends close and your opps closer

wc: 1.5k

Heeseung glanced at his phone, double checking he had the right spot. The area in question was a park directly across the theatre that was basically taken over and reigned by college students. The cinema was a 10 minute walk (or a 6 minute jog, as he had just found out) and the snide remarks could be heard even from where Heeseung was, Soobin following behind with dramatic whines and pouts.

"A man like you could never handle her. Who do you think you are? You're a bitch at best." Heeseung grit his teeth. Yup, that was most definitely Wonbin.

"A bitch? You're a spineless creep who won't even throw a punch." Seunghan retorts, quickly hushed by Yizhuo who had a much better grip of the situation. Heeseungs heart twinged seeing you so frozen in fear. He's never seen you back down from a challenge, much less be reduced to a wide eyed shivering mess. Wonbin crosses his arms, unfazed by the taunting.

"Baby, this was your rebound? Why don't you come back to a real man?" Yizhuo tskes, tugging you closer to her chest. "Seunghan and Y/N aren't together. Even then he's much more of a real man than you ever were."

Wonbin laughs at this, his demeanor so different from everybody else's as he waves her comments off like they're old buddies cracking an inside joke. That's about all Heeseung could handle before storming up, taking a deep breath to keep himself from showing how scared he truly was.

"Is there a problem here?" Heeseungs eyebrow raised, approaching with as much confidence as he could muster approaching the person who made his life a living hell. Wonbin took notice to him immediately, looking even more entertained than before. It seems as if he had been bored by this charade the entire time, eyes perking up in interest only now that he's met an equal match in his eyes. You practically throw yourself onto him after ripping yourself away from Ningning and Jakes defensive grip on you. Heeseung takes you in his embrace, letting you wrap your arms around his torso and bury your face in his chest as if he'd make the whole situation disappear. "Why does my girlfriend look like you guys tried to kill her?" Heeseung humors, barking a laugh that triggers a chain reaction of fake laughs from the rest of you to ease the tension.

"I'll have to take back what I said Y/N, your type never changes" Wonbin tuts, walking over to Heeseung as he sizes him up. "For rebound standards you're not too shabby. How much you deadlift?" Heeseung plants a kiss on the top of your head, hand rubbing your back soothingly with an irritated expression. Soobin has long since hid himself between Ningning and Jake, biting his lip anxiously. "Don't change the topic. Why. Does my girlfriend. Look scared out her mind?" He speaks slowly and condescendingly, making Wonbin left only more amused than before. "I gotta give it to you, out of all these losers this guys the best knock off of me you can get. What's your name big guy?" Heeseungs teeth grit when he's met with the similar patronizing tone, moving you slightly so you're angled to be more behind him than before. "You don't remember me? I'm hurt, really."

Wonbin tilts his head in confusion, eyes narrowing for a second before his eyes turn into saucers, snapping his fingers with his thumb and middle finger while his index points towards the two of you.

"Holy shit! Holy shit! The fat loser got his act together!"

Seunghan opens his mouth to retort but Soobins hand had already covered his mouth before he had the chance. "Fat loser? C'monnn, you know you have better insults. What happened to barcode boy?" "Alright, at first you were funny. Now you're getting on my nerves. I'm here to take back my girl." Wonbin looks expectantly, as if Heeeeung was actually going to just hand you over and walk away.

"You're not entitled to anything. It's your fault you lost her, so leave Y/N alone." Your head curls into the crook of his neck, still silent as a wordless plead for help. He coos at you, glancing back to Wonbin to watch the other man's eye visibly twitch.

"Don't forget she tripped over her own feet running from you to me. The only reason she came back to a pathetic guy like you is because you're my shitty leftovers. You may look the part of a cheap copy of me, but youre an insecure loser on the inside."

Hearing the same words Y/N had said to him at the party had Heeseungs grip softening, his eyes growing wide as his loss of words became more than apparent. It seems as if that also snapped something in you, as you spoke up for the first time since the incident started. "I don't owe you anything.." You mumble, voice just barely speaking level leaving Wonbin to mock you with a laugh. "We had a future together Y/N, nobody could love you more than me. Wake up and come back to me." The confidence you had built up had been shattered, mouth curling into a thin line before Yizhuo walked to speak for you. "That's rich coming from you."

"Get a grip. My brother has treated her better in these past months and you have in the year you were with her. You think Heeseung hasn't changed? Let's look at the guy who drove got knows how far just to what.. stake your claim on your ex?" Your eyes perk up at this, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "How'd you even find me bin.."

"Wasn't hard. I just followed my heart and it let me right to you" He winks, hand on his heart to mock sincerity. He proceeded to laugh at his own joke before taking his phone out and waving it towards you. "Your friends been keeping me updated."

Heeseungs furrowed eyebrows turned into a questioning glance as Yizhuo, who glanced to her brother with equal confusion. It seemed the whole group had one thought in mind: Which friend?

"The one that goes to the same uni as me. I didn't pay attention to her name, I just know she was your friend in highschool too." The rest of the conversation was a blur to you, more stuttering and arguing before Heeseung had picked you up easily (something he had always claimed he could do since you were kids but never proved until now) and the two of you were exiting the scene in the opposite direction of the school.

You had snapped back from zoning out, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck as a protective measure as if you were in danger of falling in the first place. "Thank you for saving me back there. And pretending to be my boyfriend.." You muttered, voice so mumbled you weren't even sure if it was an inside or an outside thought. He huffed, adjusting you in his grip without saying anything. The nod of approval he sent you was the response you get, making you only more unsure you even said it out loud.

"What he said about running from you to him... I hope you know it's wrong. Our fight had *nothing* to do with him."

"It's fine."

"I'm not even sure why bin was going on and on about you being my rebound. I mean it was 2 years ago! My friendship with you is the farthest thing from a rebound. If anything he was-"

"I said it was fine."

You pouted, legs swaying back forth as you continued to ramble. "I'm surprised you're being as understanding as you are. I mean bin just comes out of nowhere and-"

"Can you stop calling him that?" You were taken aback, mouth agape as you realize what you had mistaken for calmness was actually frustration. "Hee.."

"I don't care that he wants to make up bs. I knew that was his lame attempts at bullying, but you still calling him a nickname? Weird as fuck."

"I'm sorry, old habits die hard. I hate his guts. The last thing I wanna do is give people the wrong idea."

"And what's the right idea? I forgive you and you never talk to me again?"

Silence falls between the two of you, the only sounds heard being the footsteps as the man holding you walks the long way back to the dorms. You gnaw at the inside of your cheek, trying to find the right words to say as you continue to swing your feet. You feel silly for trying to push him away when here he was, fighting your ex for you and sweeping you off your feet to save you. Is this how you were gonna repay him?

"You're right. It's totally unfair to you, but I just need time Hee."

"I can wait. I've known you since I was 7 pretty, I think I can handle a couple of weeks or months."

"Thank you." You softly smiled at that, leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "That's for doing a good job pretending to be my boyfriend. We make a convincing couple."

"It's easy when I know you like the back of my hand" He grins back at you.

previous - masterlist - next

synopsis: after a blow-up fight, it was goodbye to your childhood best friends brother. the three of you had always been close, but after heeseung pushed you both out and ran off to college you had to fight your way back into his life.

a/n: we're back! when i said this was a big chapter i was NAWT kidding..

taglist... @iraa567 @tocupid @rikisly @eleanorheartschishiya @k1ttylvr @babyy-bambii @seunnimg @flaminghotyourmom @simjyunnie @bee-the-loser @jayfrvr @diorfmu

[factcorelabs]

WELL WELL WELL. WELCOME. TO MY LAIR!

chell and a potato, huh?

OOOH im really scared!

so ur the ones that wanna take me out? ah ha ha... good luck

you're joking? you are joking!?

i cant believe my eye!

you're kidding me, you've gotta be!

why wont you just die!?

she's fat, you're starchy!

i dont know wich is worse!

i might just blow a circuit...

... if i dont die laughing first!

when little old Wheatley says:

"there's trouble behind that door!"

you better pay attention now!

Because im the Wheatley core!

and if you aren't shaking...

then there's something very wrong!

because this may be the last time...

that you hear the Wheatley song!

Oooh! (Oooh!)

Oooh! (Oooh.)

Ooooh! (Oooh!)

He's the evil Wheatley core!

Well if i'm feeling bored...

... and there isn't much to do...

... i might just build a special batch ...

... of tests for you to do!

Oooh!

Oh yeah!

🪐SpAaAcE!☄️

Oooh! (Ooooh!)

he's the evil Wheatley core!

"relieve yourself or you must face the dire consequences!"

"the subjects are expecting me, so please come to your senses."

Youre joking! You are joking!?

I can't believe my ears!

would someone shut this potato up!?

I'm drowning in my tears!

its funny! I'm laughing!

You really are too much...

... and now, without your permission. i'm gonna do my stuff.

"what are you going to do!?"

...I'm gonna do the best i can...

(music)

AAAGGH.

the smell of neurotoxin to me is beauty in the air!

Because I'm the brilliant Wheatley core...

Although i don't play fair!

its much more fun. i must confess...

when lives are on the line!

not mine. of course. but yours old girl!

now that'd be just fine...

"its over, you moron! you've really taken this too far!"

oh darling. you're something!

you put me in a spin!

you aren't comprehending...

the position that you're in!

Its hopeless! you're finished!

you're stuck here in my lair!

Because im clever old Wheatley...

And youre not going nowhere...

[konigsblog]

Orla, my sweet, my darling, my angel ❤️ I just spent the last two hours scrolling your blog and babe I’m 🥵🥵🥵 I need some goddamn water I’m so fucking thirsty rn!! You write such decadent, utter filth and I am so fucking here for it!

Can I please request a lil something something about being the 141’s sweetheart? Like you’re definitely their little whore to use whenever but they all absolutely adore you, make sure you’re taken care of both in and out of the bedroom, you’re always protected/safe with one of them around. I love the hard stuff too but I need just a bit more softness and love, y’know?

Bonus points if they get jealous of anyone else talking to you and/or each other for getting too much of your attention!

Thank you for indulging my inner slut 😜

Xoxo —🐺

thank you soso much <333 im so glad that you're enjoying my posts and i appreciate that you spent a while reading my posts 😵‍💫 that's a long time, i can't imagine how sore your eyes were afterwards from reading this disgusting smut 😭 thank you soso much though :)) 💐🤍🌟;

they're overprotective, to say the least. price and simon intimidate other men, outside and inside of base. you're theirs, you belong to them, their sextoy and sweetheart, always flirting and getting you all flustered because they adore that stupid and dumb expression on your face when you get all embarrassed.

gaz will always cuddle into you after the others had fucked you stupid, previously slamming into your throbbing pussy, whining and whimpering with each thrust they made. the bedsheets are soaked and stink of sex, yet he pulls you close to his chest and holds your naked body against his own, waiting for you to fall asleep and become motionless in his grasp :((

soap will always make you laugh, telling you stupid jokes that aren't even funny - only laughing because of how dumb they can be. and that happens especially when he's drunk; sitting on his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, at the bar. the sounds of distant chatter are loud, some men asking for your number to he met with a snarl from simon, his eyes burning holes into the mans skull.

and they can't help but feel jealous sometimes. oh, price got to fuck you before they left for a mission? they'll make sure to let him know that they know. they're lowkey (highkey) passive aggressive about the others fucking you. catching johnny with his fat and drooling cock dowm your throat, god, they're gonna kill him afterwards.