#Everyone has their own opinion and you have no right to call someone an idiot for disagreeing with yours

[trelinha9]

I have the slight and terrible feeling that I'm going to really regret writing this. But I can't focus on the things I need to do, so here we go

Browsing the Amethio tag, I discovered that someone took the link to my poll about Friede x Amethio and sent an ask to an account saying "this fandon has shit taste". This is because 65.8% of the votes (111 votes, just for the record, which shouldn't be, like, even 1% of the Horizontes fandon) had marked the option "Wtf that shit's illegal"

I don't want to talk about this ship anymore, but there are people out there who ship it, so, HERE WE GO I GUESS

(Warning: Some really angry text is below the line)

For me, and this is my opinion, the discussion of why Friede x Amethio is a horrible ship and deserves its own little corner of hell is no longer about age. It doesn't matter if Amethio is of age and legally an adult or not. This doesn't change the following facts that every episode Ametio has appeared in so far keeps throwing in our faces:

1- Amethio is, EMOTIONALLY, much more immature than Friede. Friede provokes Amethio, and he falls. When Amethio tried to instigate Friede in episode 25, Friede literally responded "I'm not a kid anymore to fall for that kind of provocation". This is the script throwing in your face how far from emotional maturity the two are

2 - Friede doesn't treat Amethio with respect. He continues making fun of him, annoying him and irritating him. Whether it's on purpose or not is beside the point: if it is, it's because Friede is really an asshole, and if it's not, it's because Friede can't realize that his actions are affecting someone else in an extremely negative way (which also It's a horrible option!!!)

I wanted to be calmer in my first post on the subject, but I'm stressed today and I don't need someone calling the fandon "dummies" because they don't agree with the crap ship you like. People have tastes. People have their own ideas. People have their own interpretations of media. There are people who see the things I just mentioned and see "enemies to lovers", when it is an extremely toxic and unbalanced relationship. EVEN IF BOTH OF THEM WERE ADULTS IT WOULD STILL BE TOXIC AND UNBALANCED. I want Amethio to become an RVT, but first Friede will have to work hard to redeem himself for all the stress he put Amethio through and the way he treated him.

And as for Amethio x Liko, I prefer to think of them as friends/sibling. The two are very similar, and with each passing day a new parallel between them appears. They're basically a walking "two sides of the same coin", and I really want to see how their dynamic continues (especially after ep 46)

Then that's it. I hate Friede x Amethio. I don't care about Liko x Amethio. I don't care if you think Amethio is of age, if he's 30 years old or if he's someone's reincarnation. His relationship with Friede is toxic, unbalanced, and Amethio needs distance from that idiot with aviator glasses, not a romantic relationship with him.

Now I'm going to do my homework

And please, don't reblog this post or comment on this post to say that I'm wrong and that Friede x Amethio is good. I am a 16 year old girl. If someone treated me the way Friede treats Amethio, I would react the same way he did. Maybe a little worse. And I definitely wouldn't want people shipping me with that person.

I hope this is the last post I make on this subject. From now on, let's talk about how the sky is blue or how sperm whales are not whales but dolphins

[lovexjoe]

How would Armando be if he thought the reader was sweet cute never hurt anyone or a fly but when they are partnered up to go on a mission she the opposite… please do this

Damsel In Distress

A.N: This one is gonna be fun! Y/N will be used as bait for a mission, but Armando doesn't realize she can hold her own. The karambit scene from Bad Boys For Life, Y/N takes the place of Armando with some dialogue changed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHQFzABygCI

Warnings: Violence, some fluffy fluff

Y/N POV

Armando and I have been arguing all morning and afternoon. I don't get what his problem is, he's treating me like a child.

"¿Estás loca? ¡No lo vas a hacer!" (Are you crazy? You're not doing it!)

"Im doing it and that's final!" You stormed out the house.

You guys haven't made things official yet and it's fights like this that reminds you this relationship might be a ticking timebomb. Since I've been partnered with him, he doesn't let me get in on ANY of the fun. I am talking I look like a damsel in distress even AMMO squad laughs about it.

"I think he has a crush on you. It's kinda cute" Kelly teases you as you finish up some of the files that needed to get done for the team. No one really knew what was happening behind the scenes.

"Thinks? Oh he definitely does" Rita says.

"I am sorry in advance that my son is a pain in the ass" Mike shakes his head.

"Advance? You a little late on the apology Mike. This boy been a pain in the ass since we partnered them up!" Marcus adds in.

Everyone chimes their opinion in till the room went silent due to Armando walking in.

"I don't think Y/N should be used as bait tonight, it's not safe" He leans against the wall with everyone trying to suppress their laughter.

Armando really does not know who you are. Yes, your exterior may look sweet and innocent, but out of the whole AMMO squad: you're the deadliest. Which is why you stick to the tech stuff until they really needed you. Mike and Marcus pulled him aside to have a talk: good luck cause he never listens.

Armando POV

This girl drives me insane. Someone as innocent and sweet as her just READY to jump in the fire. Mike and Marcus try to be the voice of reason, but I really wasn't trying to listen. If anything or anyone touches a hair on her head, I'm putting a bullet through them and not thinking twice.

"Mando listen, I understand and I am genuinely surprised that you care, but I promise just stay on standby and watch from the overhead." Armando shoots Mike a glare knowing he wasn't going to win this one regardless so he decided he'll just be on sniper watch.

As it started to get dark outside, we loaded up everything we needed. Y/N was geared up and she looked gorgeous. This women drives me completely insane, but I'd do anything for her. We parked in our hideout spot and started exiting out the van. I grabbed Y/N's hand.

"Listen, just signal me if you need help. " I pulled her close and placed a kiss on her forehead, then proceeded to set up my sniper in the designated area.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Y/N walks to the pinpoint location, meeting up with the drug dealers. She brought her favorite little karambit with her. She warned Marcus and Mike that it might get bloody. These idiots knowing she's a female they're going to try to ambush her. Mike said as long as the leader isn't killed, everything else goes under the radar.

"Karina!" The leader calls out cheerfully. You drop the bag filled with fake money on the floor ignoring his gesture for a hug. Armando lurking from his position, taking quick glimpses of how gorgeous you looked right now.

"We're so sorry to have to do this to you Karina. But your services are no longer needed" 6 men started to slowly close in on you. Armando positions his finger on the trigger, ready to take the leader out and fuck this whole case up. Your safety means more than any case and he'd gladly go back to prison for you. Right as he's about to pull the trigger, Mike says over the intercom to just sit back and enjoyed the show. Armando was confused as you snatched the gun from the leaders hand, placing a bullet in each of his knees and uppercutting him: knocking him out cold. Nap time! You took out your karambit and everything went black. You didn't know what happened in between, but when you came back to your senses your karambit was shoved into the mouth of one of this drug dealer's minions. With 6 bloody bodies surrounding you. You turned to Armando and said

"Oops" You wink.

"That's what im talking about!" Mike and Marcus cheered. Rita and the rest of the AMMO squad came out to wrap everything up. You headed back to the van. Armando was shocked for sure. Turned on? Majorly. Sweet and innocent was DEFINITELY not the words used to describe you anymore. You heard the door of the van open, seeing its your favorite partner in the world.

"You okay mami? I don't want any problems." He slowly creeps in with his hands up, teasing you.

"Yes I'm fine" You chuckled as he pulls you close.

"Yes, you most definitely are" He leans down placing a kiss on your lips.

[minisugakoobies]

Confessions of a Dirty Mind | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Genre: smut, and they were roommates!, porn with the barest of plots, a little fluff Rating: M (18+) Warnings: incredibly thirsty pining, reader’s a bit feral for her roommate, the giggles will be deployed as a weapon, reader drops the d word (daddy) in her dirty thoughts but never says it out loud, accidental texts, body worship (abs, thighs, breasts - everything gets praised), love bites/marking, grinding, chan is thick everywhere, chan throws reader around a little, hints at dom!chan, fingering, oral sex (m + f receiving), facefucking, cum eating, reader is kind of an idiot but that's okay!, I wrote this out of a dire need to s this man’s d Word Count: 6.5K Disclaimers: NSFW; obviously I don’t own SKZ - they just inspire me Summary: The absolute last thing you want is for your roommate to find out just how much you want him. Right?

A/N: Well, as threatened promised, I'm writing for Stray Kids now in addition to BTS! This came out of absolutely nowhere last week. I've just got Bang Chan brainrot 24/7 now, so that's cool. Thanks to @minttangerines @bangtanintotheroom @sugalaritae for their support (and amazing Aussie accents!!) 💕

Unbeta'd as usual. Please let me know what you think! Like if you'd like to see more skz fics from me… that would fuel me to keep writing. If everyone hates this I'm quitting writing and moving to the wild to live with the koalas ✌️

Being roommates with your crush is its own special type of torture. Always being so close to what you want but never being able to touch. To taste. To feel. 

You weren’t always this feral. Once upon a time, you were normal. Well-adjusted, even. Then you had to move for your job and needed to find a place to stay fast and your best friend Minho just happened to know someone looking for a roommate. 

Honestly, looking back, it was too easy. Should’ve known there’d be a catch. And that catch was your sanity. 

Because Minho’s friend Bang Chan turned out to be the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life. 

Listen. A lot of people use phrases like that all the time, “the hottest man you’ve ever seen,”  some hyperbole they say for ridiculous effect, but you mean it. You have never seen anyone as beautiful as this man, with his chiseled cheekbones, thick lips, and those dimples. 

Fuck. Those dimples. Almost as maddening as the washboard abs he’s constantly showing off. You didn’t know a person could be allergic to shirts until you met Chan. 

And now you’re suffering. Every. Damn. Day. 

It’s not just that he’s the most gorgeous man on the planet. No, that would be hurtful enough, but he’s also kind. Smart. Silly as hell. You’re constantly plagued by his sweet smiles and unbelievably adorable giggles. 

The worst part, though, is the way he can flip between sexy and soft instantaneously. Like when the two of you argue over something stupid. All of your arguments are fundamentally stupid. The two of you get on so fucking well, the only things you argue over are opinions on pointless things. Like last night, when you’d joined him for a beer while he watched tv. 

“You’re out of your mind,” Chan had declared, twisting sideways on the couch to look at you. “There’s no way a koala could possibly defeat a kangaroo in a cage match!”

“Sure it could.” 

“No, it could not!” Chan let loose a flurry of high-pitched giggles. “Have you ever seen a kangaroo? Those things are ripped! One kick or punch, and the koala’s out.” He mimed a powerful punch.

You tipped back the remainder of your beer before pointing the bottle at him. “Yes it could! Think about it - what do koalas do?” When he just blinked, you continued. “They climb! And what do koalas usually have?” Again, a blank stare. “Syphilis! So… think about it! All that little guy has to do is climb up the kangaroo, give him some germs, and boom! Kangaroo goes down.” You grin smugly. “There’s a reason they call syphilis the silent killer.” 

Chan fixed you with his signature Look™, the one you think of as “stern dom daddy” - thick eyebrows drawn, bottom lip tucked between his teeth, dark eyes scanning your face - and you felt your knees go weak. Then he blinded you with the full sunshiny force of his smile, eyes closing, dimples popping. 

“That is an absolutely insane argument, not to mention completely incorrect. I don’t even know where to start explaining why you’re wrong.” He paused. “No, actually, let’s start with the fact that it’s chlamydia, not syphilis, that koalas get, and go from there.” By the time he’d finished  and you’d finally conceded that a kangaroo would probably win, the two of you were nearly in tears from laughing.

His duality is whiplash-inducing. And always leaves you in ruins. 

So when your feelings overwhelm you, when you feel like you’re absolutely bursting at the seams with need, you do what you always do. Torture Minho. 

Your bff is used to you venting to him about your crippling inability to make a move. On anyone. Ever. Over the years, he’s weathered dozens of crushes that never went anywhere because while you’re definitely a total treasure, you lack the confidence to make any of your (usually horny) dreams come true. He’s come to expect the endless text messages you send. 

Except that now, “messages” might not be the right word for them. “Unhinged ravings” might be more accurate. 

Ughhhh he’s so damn fine Today he came home from the gym all sweaty and I nearly offered to give him a bath With my tongue. My TONGUE Minho!

Like he’s always done, Minho bears it all in stride with his usual unwavering compassion.

You’re a lunatic

He doesn’t even try to convince you to say something to Chan about your feelings anymore. Now he just waits for you to exhaust yourself and then he changes the subject. Usually by sending photos of his cats. 

It’s an odd friendship, but neither of you would trade it for anything. 

At the moment, you’re ignoring your pain by lying on your bed, in a tee and sweats, watching a movie on your laptop. You can hear your roommate rummaging around his room. Your apartment features a Jack and Jill bathroom, so it’s easy for you to hear what’s going on next door through the adjoining space.

“Channie, why are you pacing around?” you call out. 

Your phone buzzes. 

Trying to find my shirt  

“Are you seriously texting me from the next room?” Pausing your movie, you trudge through the bathroom. The door to Chan’s room is open so you don’t bother to knock, flopping down on his bed as he digs through his closet. He’s shirtless as usual, blond curls shaking with the force of his rummaging.

“Yeah, sorry, ‘m in a hurry and didn’t want to stop looking,” Chan admits sheepishly, throwing a grin over his shoulder at you. You ignore the fluttering in your stomach and get comfortable, resting your head on your arms.

“You could’ve just said it out loud. I can hear you all over this apartment.” It’s not a big space. Which only amplifies your angst, as it’s hard to escape from your desires when the source of it is just constantly right there. Sprawling out on the tiny couch in the living room. Making himself a midnight snack in the kitchen. Lounging on your bed while you sit at your desk, trying not to stare at his reflection on your screen. “What shirt are you looking for?” 

“My tiger tank.” 

You know the shirt he’s speaking of - his white tank top with an embroidered tiger’s head on the chest. It’s a favorite of yours, cut low enough on the sides and in the front to show off his biceps and pecs at the same time. The first time you’d seen Chan in it, Minho had accused you of being a vampire because you couldn’t stop talking about how much you wanted to nibble on his collarbones. 

“Ah! Found it!” Chan raises the shirt over his head victoriously before yanking it on. He takes a moment to inspect himself in his mirror and you wonder if he truly recognizes just how stunning he is. He catches your eye in the reflection. “What are you up to tonight? Wanna come out with me, ‘Lix, & ‘Bin? We’re gonna get some drinks.”

Sure, you’d love to hang out at the bar with Chan and his friends. They’re always a good time. Except when closing time arrives and once again you’re forced to bear witness to your roommate getting hit on by basically every woman in the bar. Not that you can blame them. But it’s especially awful on the nights when he leaves with someone else. You’d rather not deal with that tonight.

“Nah, I’m just gonna relax. But thanks.” 

“Come on,” he wheedles, plopping down on the bed, hard enough to make you bounce a little. “You haven’t been out with us in ages. Is it the guys? Did one of them say something stupid?” 

“They always say stupid shit. That’s all they ever say,” you crack, smiling when Chan laughs. “But no, it’s nothing like that. I’m just tired.” 

Chan doesn’t say anything, just looks at you for a moment. The silence makes you inexplicably nervous, and you fiddle with his comforter for want of something to do with your hands. But then he just nods. “‘Kay. But if you change your mind, we’ll be down at Back Door.” 

“Thanks.” 

Chan heads into the bathroom to play with his hair. You slip past him, back into your room, throwing yourself dramatically onto your bed and burying your face in a plush pillow. How much longer can you stand this? 

You grab your phone. 

I’m losing my mind

You can practically hear the sigh in Minho’s voice as you read his response. 

What did Chan do now?

He’s getting ready to go out with Felix and Changbin He looks so fucking good in those tight jeans

Minho doesn’t reply. He knows to just let you get it out of your system before responding.

My mouth is literally watering It’s a Pavlovian response at this point I see denim and I start salivating

A text alert pops up in the middle of your thirsty ranting. 

Hey do you mind if I borrow your eyeliner?

“Stop texting me when you’re 10 feet away!” you yell, laughing. Chan pops his head out of the bathroom and flashes you that grin, the one that turns your insides to goo, and you sigh. “Of course you can borrow it, you know you can.” 

Thanks

“Chan!” 

His giggles float through the door and your thumbs fly.

Seriously If Chan doesn’t let me s his d one of these days I will die I will be the first person to die from ineedtosuckadick-itis

There’s a loud clattering in the bathroom, like someone’s knocked half the contents of the crowded sink counter onto the floor. Your makeup isn't cheap, so you hop up off your bed. 

“You okay in there?” The first thing you notice is the pile of smashed cosmetics on the ground. The second thing is the way your roommate is staring at you, eyes wide, sharpened kohl liner still clutched in one hand, phone in the other. “What? What’s wrong?” 

Chan doesn’t speak, but raises his phone and kind of waves it limply. 

Oh god. You were in the wrong chat. You were in the wrong chat and now Chan knows you want to suck his dick. You’ve been texting for most of your life and this is the moment your brain decides to fuck up?!

As Chan continues to stare, you realize you have two choices: fess up and own it, or play dumb.

It’s no choice.

“What, uhhhhhhh, what’s up?” 

Chan gestures to his phone. “You want to suck my dick?” He says the words as if they’re unfamiliar to him, like he’s trying them out for the first time. 

Well, shit, how are you supposed to play dumb if he’s just going to call you right out? 

“Guess the cat’s out of the horny bag now,” you mutter under your breath.

Chan cocks his head. “What?”

“Nothing,” you cough, looking at your own phone. “I mean, uh, noooo, what? Minho and I were just, um, talking about how I want to, uh, sssssss…” you glance wildly around the cramped room, hissing like a frantic snake as you fail to come up with another word that starts with s, before your eyes land on an empty glass sitting by the sink. “…Share a drink with you? Because I’m… thirsty?”

“You’re thirsty?”

Fucking understatement.

You can’t quite read the expression on Chan’s face as he glances between you and his phone. There’s a flash of dom daddy in there and then it’s gone. 

“YN. I know what ‘s his d’ means. Also, you said you had - what did you call it? Ineedtosuckadickitis.” You think Chan’s lips quirk slightly as he reminds you of your textual idiocy, but you’re too busy trying to psychically rip a hole in the floor so you can disappear forever to be certain. “Where do you get your medical info, by the way? I’m starting to worry.” 

He’s making light of the situation, which you would appreciate more if you weren’t sure you’re about to die from embarrassment. Your mind is reeling. There’s no way to get out of this. Any second now, he’s gonna realize how you feel. Then he’s gonna let you down. Gently, you hope. Then you’re gonna need to find a new place to live, because there’s no recovering from this.

“Fine.” You take a deep breath. “Yes, I said it.” Unable to look him in the eye, you focus on your phone as you speak. “I was telling Minho how much I want to suck your dick, because I’m a disgusting horny monster who can’t stop thinking about it. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go pack up my room now.” Shoulders slumping, you slink away, hoping he won’t follow. 

He does. “Wait, what?” 

You don’t answer, heading directly for your closet, tugging at your suitcase where it lies on a shelf, and he crowds into your space, arms reaching out to stop you. 

“Oi, slow down! What are you doing?” 

“I’ll try to be out quickly, so you can find a new roommate right away.” You keep pulling on the suitcase, but it’s futile. He barely has to exert any strength to push it back, so you give up. 

“YN.” Chan places his hands on your shoulders, turning you around. It’s probably the closest you’ve ever been, standing face to face like this, and the nearness of him is a little dizzying. “Back up. You don’t have to go anywhere. Just talk to me.” He lightly guides you over to your bed, taking a seat next to you. “Why do you think I’d want you to leave?” 

“Because I'm a gross little gremlin who can’t stop objectifying you?” you answer honestly. 

Chan’s eyes widen before he bursts into laughter. “You know, you’ve said a lot of bonkers things in the months you’ve been living here, but… how does wanting to suck my dick make you a ‘gross little gremlin?’” 

Oh no. You can feel it bubbling up inside you, all the things you’ve felt. All the things you’ve said. Oh, you’re going to tell him, aren’t you? 

“It’s not just sucking your dick.” Grabbing your phone, you open your chat with Minho again, and begin to read. “‘I need Chan to destroy me. Fully. Like I’m a piece of wood and he’s a lumberjack. Just split me in half. With his hands or his dick, I’m not picky.’” Your entire body radiates with humiliation. You’re a tiny sun made of molecules of mortification, on the verge of going supernova. “Um. That’s one example. And there’s more. A lot more.” 

And then you hand him your phone, looking away as he starts to scroll. 

You stare at the wall, not wanting to see the expression on his face. Until the quiet gets to you, and you give in, peering at him, expecting to find him frozen again, or worse, looking sickened by your words. 

Instead you find him smiling. And then he starts to giggle. 

“‘I’m going feral,” he reads. “‘He’s wearing that beanie again. I- ’” His laughing gets louder as he struggles to finish the thought. “‘I want him to wear me instead.’” He glances up at you, eyes glimmering with way too much amusement. “What does that even mean?!”

You groan, yanking your shirt up to cover your face. “Chan, stop!” He merely laughs harder. How can he be enjoying this? You’ve never known him to be cruel. “I get it, I’m awful, you don’t have to laugh!”

But he keeps chuckling, and then you feel his hands on your hips. Like a bewildered turtle, you poke your head out of your shirt, and he just smiles. 

“C’mere.” He keeps tugging at you until you scoot closer, swinging your legs over his lap, and pulls you in for a hug. 

It’s better than you ever imagined. His strong arms lock around your waist, keeping you in place as his chest continues to rumble with his apparently endless mirth. Tentatively, you let your hands rest on his broad shoulders, afraid that if you cling too tightly, he’ll let go. 

Chan leans back to grin at you. “You’re so fucking cute.” 

You’re so fucking confused. “I am?” 

“Yeah.” His fingers rub light circles into your lower back. The sensation is somehow both soothing and invigorating, sending sparks directly to the heat already simmering in your gut. “Just adorable.” 

You’re not adorable, you’re a dirty little freak whose mind is constantly churning out trash, but if that’s what he wants to believe, you’ll take it.  

“You’re not disturbed by all the things I’ve said?” 

“Disturbed? Nah. I’m used to the crazy shit you say.” He’s got a point. You do say a lot of crazy shit. Just not usually about him to him. “Besides, d’you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say something?” 

“About your dick??”

Chan tosses his head back, jostling you with his laughter. “No, you maniac, just something in general! Something to tell me that you like me.” When he meets your gaze again, you’re met with that Look™, and this time those sparks head straight for your cunt. “That you want me. Because…” 

He trails off, hands gripping your sides, shifting you. Until you feel it. Poking directly into your thigh. 

“Oh!”

“Yeah. Oh.” Chan licks his lips. When did his eyes get so dark? “Because I want you too, you absolute fruit loop. Took me a minute to get my bearings, wasn’t expecting you to confess it in a text like that, or with those exact words, but…” He smirks. “I’m good now.” 

His thumb traces your jawline before he cups your chin. The gentle touch sends shivers rippling through you. His eyes drop to your lips. 

“You good?” 

Funnily enough, somehow, you are. 

“Yeah. I’m good,” you whisper, tipping forward to close the space between you. 

Amazingly, despite the unyielding need to just yeet yourself onto him, you manage to hold back, simply leaning in to the kiss instead. Those plush lips that you’ve raved about feel unbelievable as they caress yours. So soft and tender, like the warmth spreading through you as he tightens his hold. Then he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, and you moan, loud and wanton, unable to control the sound, and he drops his hands to your hips again, gripping insistently. 

“C’mere,” he commands again, voice husky as his fingers hook into your sweats. “Come closer.” He exhales heavily. “Please.” 

Please? He has no idea how little he needs to beg right now. As if you’re not dying to get as close as you can! In the blink of an eye, you throw your leg over his, straddling him. His hands wrap around you again, like he can’t stand not having them on you for a second. You understand the feeling. 

You’re bolder now with your kisses, nipping and licking eagerly. A particularly sharp bite on his pouty lip makes him gasp in surprise, and you press your tongue into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut in sheer ecstasy when he sucks in response. The incessant throbbing of your clit is slightly relieved when Chan’s hips buck upwards, pushing his erection against you more firmly. He swallows your whines, breathes them back out in the form of his own groans.

The need for air eventually overwhelms you after a few minutes, and you begrudgingly tear yourself away from his face. 

“Aren’t you going to be late?” you pant, marveling at how red and swollen Chan’s lips are from kissing. The urge to dive back in before you’ve gotten enough oxygen into your system to keep from passing out is strong. “To meet the guys?”

“You really think I’m gonna leave now?” Chan huffs a laugh as he gazes at you from beneath lowered eyelids, looking as dazed as you feel, and you realize, shit, Minho’s right, you are a vampire, and you’re about to eat this man alive. “Fuck no. Besides, what kind of terrible roommate would I be if I left you at death’s door?” 

“If you - what?” 

More high-pitched giggles fill the room. How can he be so cute while actively grinding his cock against you like this? “Your disease. Remember? Ineedadickitis.” 

“I need to suck a dick,” you correct him.

“Oh, do you? Well, go on then.” He cracks up completely, bouncing you with the force of his laughter as you sit there dumbly for half a second before snapping to. 

“You’re so stupid, oh my god!” With a howl, you push him away. He goes easily, until he’s lying on his back on your bed, still cackling while he swats away your fake punches. “I hate you.” 

“No, you don’t.” His fingers lock around your wrists and with a gentle jerk you’re lying on top of him, your arms pinned between you. Before you can try to pretend that he’s wrong, try to mount yet another one of your dumb arguments, despite knowing full well that he's right, he kisses you again. 

As soon as he releases your hands, you tangle them in his hair. His hands trace down your back to grab the swell of your ass, crushing you flat against him, chest to chest. He suddenly breaks off the kiss.

“Are you not wearing a bra?” 

You shake your head and he groans, sitting up, taking you with him. His fingers curl in the hem of your top, twisting it upwards.

“Shirt off. Now.” His voice drops an octave and you shudder, quickly obeying his order. Then you grip his tank top.

“You too.” 

He reaches behind his head to peel the fabric off, tossing it on the floor. Then he lays back, propping himself up on his elbows as you openly gawk at his stomach. 

“Fuck.” He’s transfixed by your chest. 

“Jesus.” You’re mesmerized. From this close, you can see a faint trail of fine hair that runs down, cutting through the carved lines of his abs, like an arrow pointing to your desired destination. “Unreal.” 

“You can touch, if you’d like,” Chan grins up at you, obviously enjoying your reaction. 

You roll your eyes but do anyway, dragging your fingertips over his abs. His stomach twitches beneath your touch. Before you can get too far, he wiggles his hips, playfully jostling you out of your concentration.

“Can I touch, too?” 

“Jesus, yes, of course!” Grabbing his hands, you place one on each breast. “Touch me already!” 

He doesn’t waste any time, rolling your nipples between his fingers, waking the buds. You arch into him, his abs forgotten as he leans forward to take your left breast in his mouth. 

“Shit, Channie,” you whimper, combing his hair out of his face so you can watch him suckle away. He hums into you, swirling his tongue over your nipple, around and around, before dragging his tongue across to the other breast. 

“You like that, baby?” he asks, covering your chest with kisses. 

Baby? Did he really just call you baby? Is this really happening, or did you slip into one of your daydreams again? 

Nope, the hard dick rolling into the apex of your thighs as you grind down on him feels pretty real. You can’t help but moan, wondering what he looks like under those tight jeans. Is he as thick as you imagine? 

Wait, why are you still trying to imagine anything? He’s literally underneath you right now.

Your hand splays on his torso as you guide him onto his back again. Slowly, you lower yourself over him, and drag your mouth down his neck. Clearly, you’d interrupted his going out routine earlier, because he’s not wearing his normal cologne right now. Instead, the heady scent you inhale as you stick your nose into the hollow of his clavicles is pure Chan, musky and comforting. 

“Ah, that tickles!” he hisses. 

“Sorry.” You press a heavy kiss to his collarbone. “Is that better?” He nods, right before you sink your teeth in.

“Nnngh!” He lets out a throaty groan as you happily suck a love bite into his delicate skin. God, the noises this man makes! You want to record them and play them on a loop. 

You slip further down, dragging your fingernails over one of Chan’s nipples, watching his face for his reaction. A tiny “oh!” escapes him, and you repeat the motion, grinning when his back lifts off the bed. Sensitive. This is going to be fun. 

Chan raises his head when you start to kiss his abs, taking the time to lick along the ridges as you go, the salty tang of his sweat lingering on your lips. When your hands play with the skin above his waistband, he clears his throat. “You know, you don’t have to do this, just because of that text.” 

“Are you kidding me?” You pause with your fingers on the button of his fly. “You want me to stop now?” 

“I just don’t want you to think I expect anything.” Although his voice is a little shaky, like he’s trying to calm himself down, you hear the sincerity in his words. The sweetness. That warmth inside you roars into a flame. 

“Channie. I want this. Do you want this?” 

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Thank god,” you sigh, unzipping his fly.  He helps you peel off his tight jeans and you make quick work of his silk boxers beneath. Nudging his legs apart, you kneel between them 

For a moment just you stare at the sight in front of you. You were right. He’s thick. Maybe a little longer than most of the dicks you’ve been happy to be acquainted with, maybe not, but definitely thicker. 

You want to sit on him so bad. But first you want to please him, want to taste him. So much want. 

While you’re dicknotized, Chan stuffs your pillows under his head so he can have a better angle. You glance at his face and find him biting his lip, eyes looking a little desperate. He doesn’t say anything, just watches you. 

Might as well put him out of his misery. With a lick of your palm, you wrap your hand around him, and pump a few shallow strokes. He grunts at the sudden slickness, abdomen jumping slightly. 

“Ah, baby, just like that,” he says, eyes closing when you roll your thumb over the tip a few times. “Shit.” 

Your tongue darts out to follow, dipping around the head and back over, before you take it into your mouth. Just the tip, bobbing off, then a little more, then again. Each time you sink lower, he sighs. 

“Fuck, that feels so good. Keep going, take it all in.” 

Oh god, is he a talker? You’re already impossibly wet. You can’t possibly handle getting any more aroused. 

While your mouth is occupied, you lift your leg so you’re straddling one of Chan’s, resting a palm on his big thigh. You have obsessed over his thighs since the day you moved in. You refer to them as “the thunder from down under” in your texts to Minho. And here they are now, so strong and sturdy beneath you. Wild. 

Chan hisses when you deepthroat him, brushing your nose against his pelvis. Even though you pride yourself on your dick-sucking skills, you can’t help but choke slightly. More saliva floods into your mouth, and you swallow around him. 

“Oh, shit!” His hips rise up a little. You use both hands, one trying to hold him down by his hip while the other strokes in tandem with your mouth. There’s drool everywhere, and the sounds the wetness makes sounds lewd even for porn. “Baby, this mouth of yours! Feels better than I ever imagined.”

Air rushes into your lungs as you pull off, replacing your mouth with your other hand. “You thought about this?” He fantasized about you, too?

“Oh fuck yeah,” he growls. “All the time. Thought those pretty lips would look so good choking on me, and I was right.” He thrusts a little, rocking his dick up into your slippery grip. “Used to dream about fucking it.”

You moan so brokenly, he looks at you in concern. 

“Please,” you lick his darkened head almost frantically, “do it.” 

Chan studies you for a moment, brows knitting together, before he pushes your head down. 

“That’s it, go down for me,” he directs you, and you listen. “Just stay there. Let me do the work now.” 

He starts slowly, tilting his pelvis a little, fucking up into your waiting mouth. Then he cants his hips a little faster. His breathing gets heavier the harder he thrusts. Once he finds a steady rhythm, he lays his hand on the back of your head keeping you exactly where he wants you. 

You squirm restlessly as Chan fucks your throat. Having your roommate use your mouth as a sex toy is incredibly hot. Finally, you slide your hand into your sweats to give yourself some relief. Your clit is engorged, practically beating like a heart between your fingers. You let out a pleased moan, vibrating down Chan’s cock. 

“Do that again, baby.” 

You’re not denying this man anything. Again and again, you make him curse as your hums resonate across his sensitive skin. He trembles a little, and it’s intoxicating to think that you might be breaking down this big, strong roommate of yours, reducing him to a quivering mess.

At the very least, it’s something to aim for. 

Chan praises you again. “God damn it, that’s good. Gonna make me cum with that pretty mouth.” 

You suck and swallow and moan and rub yourself, feeling Chan’s thigh flex beneath you, and it hits you what he said, that you’re about to get Chan off, you, so you reach out, raking your hand up the inside of his thigh until you find his balls, squeezing gently.

“I’m gonna cum, shit, ’m gonna cum,” he moans, words slurring together. “Where, baby?” 

You stop touching yourself so you can grip the hand of his that rests on your head. He gets the point, pace not slowing, and with a few more powerful pumps, and some stuttered exhalations, he fills your mouth. You take it all, swallowing noisily and gasping for breath once he pulls out. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” 

He laughs as he says it. Your shoulders shake as you half-laugh, half-wheeze, slumping over on Chan’s thigh.

“Is that a compliment?”

“Fuck yeah,” he grins. “And I’m guessing from the sounds you were making, you enjoyed that as well? Just maybe not quite as much as me?”

You shrug. “I got what I wanted.”  

“Yeah, okay, maybe, but I bet you’d like more, hmm?” Without waiting for a response, he swiftly flips you onto your back. Just hauls you right over like you’re made of feathers. A rash of ridiculously giddy giggles burst past your lips, but they die away when he crawls up your body, the power of his gaze pinning you in place, and drops hungry lips onto yours.

Immediately, you surge up into him, pressing as close as you can. Both of you are glistening with sweat, his hair sticking to his face and yours as he licks into your mouth, hot and wet. You’re drowning in him. It’s everything you ever wanted. How the fuck can you possibly want more? But you do, and this feeling makes itself known as you start to whimper needily.

Chan’s hand quickly locates your breast, tenderly cupping your flesh. “Have I told you how fucking gorgeous you are? So pretty.”

You preen at his words, humming contentedly. Fuck. Do you have a praise kink, or is it just that Chan’s the one saying these words that is getting you more worked up? You roll your hips, seeking friction, and Chan’s hand slides downward until he reaches where you need him.

“Oh, baby, so wet,” he says, voice hushed, almost reverent. “Just dying to be touched, yeah? Let me help you.”

With sure movements, lithe fingers stroke along your lips, opening you up. Fingertips squeeze your clit, playing with the aching pearl, causing you to squeal, and you could die, having made such a sound, except you’ve clearly already died and gone to heaven.

Even as his hand rubs, his lips never leave yours. You thrash in his grip when he slides a finger inside you, finding your g-spot with surprising quickness and pressing the fuck out of it, and he still chases your mouth, covering your chin in kisses. Your legs kick out as he alternates between fondling your clit and stroking your walls, until he suddenly stops, pulling his fingers out so he can rid you of your sweats. 

“You still with me?” he asks, kneeling between your legs, and you wonder if you look as wrecked as you feel, sucking in air like a fish. You must be a mess, if your appearance matches how you feel. But you’re also excruciatingly aroused and frustrated, so close to coming that you’re ready to blow.

“Yes. I’m here, I’m good.” 

“Good.” The Look™️ is back. He grabs your legs and bends them, pushing your thighs into your torso. “Here. Be a good girl and hold these.”

Yes, daddy. You bite your tongue to keep from screaming the words, and grasp your legs behind your knees, pulling them to the side as much as you can, opening you up wide.

“Yes, Channie.”

He smiles at that, eyes so dark you can almost see yourself. “So good for me. Hold tight, baby.” 

He sticks out his tongue, eyebrows cocking as he dives down, tracing your folds lightly before flattening the pink muscle and dragging it heavily upwards. You keen as his hot mouth suctions onto your clit. He rolls your clit around with his tongue before flicking it in a quick motion, over and over. 

“Jesus!” You’re a live wire, muscles jolting and twitching. As he continues working over the tiny bundle of nerves, his fingers slip inside you again, two this time, scissoring you apart, making room for his tongue. 

You gasp as he plunges inside, tracing your inner walls. He’s so loud, the noises his mouth makes as he sucks and laps, and messy, too, slick dripping from his chin when he lifts his face, making sure you’re watching him. Of fucking course you’re watching him. There’s literally nothing else in the world you’d rather be looking at right now than Bang Chan, the hottest man in the galaxy, devouring your pussy like it’s his last meal. 

“Tastes so good,” he rasps, turning his face to press sloppy kisses to your inner thigh. “Think you can hold out a little longer? Let me enjoy, yeah?” 

At this point, you’re a fucking tinderbox, one spark and you’ll explode, but sure, why not let the man enjoy himself a little more? 

“O-okay,” you stutter weakly. “I’ll… try.” You bite your lip. “But maybe…” 

Chan brushes his lips over your slit. With a shaky hand, you let your left leg go so you can reach out, brushing some damp locks off his forehead, and he looks at you. 

“Maybe a little slower?” you ask. 

He smiles, nodding a little. “Got ya.” 

Instead of pulling your hand back, you thread your fingers into his hair, and he hums, burying his face again. Only now, his tongue rolls slowly over your cunt, languidly, each pass taking longer and longer. He still keeps the pressure up, makes sure he’s pushing just as firmly against your sensitive folds, still fucks his tongue into you just as deeply as he was before, but now his movements aren’t so frenzied. They feel purposeful, like he’s intent on savoring the moment. 

And you realize you should, too. So you barely blink as you observe everything he does - every kiss, every groan, every time his eyes close. You try to commit it all to memory, so you can relive this moment over and over again. In case this is it.

Chan keeps humming, not so much a melody as just wordless sounds, getting louder when your thighs start to squeeze a little. Your hand grips the roots of his hair, not so much guiding him as hanging on. Until he takes your clit in his mouth again, and you cry out, holding him in place. 

“Right there, Channie, please!” Your voice breaks as you beg him not to stop. He doesn’t let up, not even when you release your death grip on your right leg, letting it fall over his shoulder like the other one. You dig your fingers into the blanket beneath you, fisting the material. “Fuck, just like that!” 

Your hips rise off the bed as you start to hump his face, grinding harder and harder. Chan slides his fingers back into your already clenching hole and finds your g-spot again. You wail helplessly, mind already going, body not far behind, as your muscles start to contract, everything tightening - 

“Fuuuuck!” 

With a loud groan, you come all over Chan’s face. He keeps tonguing your clit through your orgasm, but has to use his hands to hold your thighs open so he doesn’t asphyxiate. You tug at his hair, riding out the waves of bliss on his mouth. 

When you finally relinquish your grasp on his head, he stops. He slides your legs from his arms, then sits back on his heels to examine his handiwork.

You’re a limp noodle. No bones. No muscles. Couldn’t move if you tried. Your climax completely wiped you out, leaving nothing behind. But you’re a very happy noodle, practically purring as you smile at the ceiling. 

Chan, on the other hand. Chan appears to be ready for the next round. A point made obvious by the massive erection he’s again sporting. You blink at him a few times. 

“I’m going to need a minute.”

He laughs, draping himself over you, arm slung over your stomach, head on your shoulder. “Nah mate, you’re done.” 

A rather petulant whine bubbles up from deep within you. “Nooo, I’m good, I’m good!” 

You try to reach for his dick, but he catches your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. Which is a surprisingly sweet move, but not what you want right now. It’s not that you don’t want to cuddle with him - if he asked, you’d wrap yourself like a blanket around him and snuggle him for hours.

It’s that you’re not ready for this moment to be over. 

“Relax,” he laughs. “Plenty of time for that later. Just rest for a bit.” 

“Later?" There’s gonna be a later?

Chan kisses your neck lightly. “Yeah, later. Not done with you yet, baby.” 

You sigh, bringing a hand up to stroke his back. Okay. Maybe a little nap is fine. If there’s going to be a later. 

Fuck, you can’t wait to text Minho. 

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

© 2023 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

I don't feel right tagging my usual tl since that was for my BTS writing, so I'm just gonna tag some moots that I think might like this:

@moni-logues @yoongimingyu @borahae-k @nabiolive @jikooknoona @sowoozoo-7 @eoieopda @here4btsfics @candlewaxandp0lar0ids @ballelino @starlostjimin @augustbutwinter @blueversaillesdreams @hobivore @hobi-gif @seokjinger-ale @hannahbee12719 feel free to tell me if I'm way off base, no pressure to actually read! 💕

[echo-stimmingrose]

I'm getting so fucking sick of the pjo fandom. It was bad before yes, but ever since the show casting came out, y'all's behavior has been down right disgusting.

The harassment Leah, a literal child, faces due to the color of her skin from you racist fucks is just outright appalling and every single one of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You pieces of shit even got her social media account banned and have told her to kill herself because she's black. And I don't wanna hear "it's just cause of the color of her hair!" Cause it's not and we all know it's not.

Two, the treatment of fan artists is just gross. Multiple fan artists are getting their art stolen and whitewashed not to mention the harassment they get whenever they don't draw a character exactly the way people want. Guess what, their art isn't for you, and you aren't fucking entitled to it.

And three, I was really hoping that y'all would be more accepting of people who just watch the show. But no, you're calling them idiots and harassing them just for not knowing the biggest fucking plot twist of the first book. (Most of y'all didn't know Luke was the traitor when you first read the books either, so shut the fuck up) I need y'all to get off of your damn high horses, you are not better than them just because you've read the books. Your opinion of the show doesn't fucking matter, let people enjoy it and stop telling them to "just read the books" especially if they've said they don't want too. The show makes the story of Percy Jackson more accessible to more people and your hatred of show watchers are driving people away from the fandom. Most of y'all have forgotten, but the book series is about kids with adhd and dyslexia, two disabilities that make it hard to read through one book let alone an entire book series. Not to mention that books are expensive and not everyone has access to them. If you don't like the show, fine, don't watch it, but leave the people who are the fuck alone.

And four, and this is less about the show and just about shipping in general. But ship discourse is the dumbest shit I have ever seen. People are literally told to go kill themselves because of what they ship. It doesn't matter how gross you think a ship is, they're fictional characters; leave people alone and learn how to use the fucking block button. If you don't like a ship you can make your own damn post and tag it as 'anti*ship*'. do not go onto someone's post about that ship and start hating on what they're talking about, it just makes you an asshole. There are ships I don't like all that much so I've blocked the damn tag, it's so easy. I've even blocked the anti tag for ships I ship because there's no point in reading something hating on something I like. Stop hurting your own feelings by reading shit you know will upset you and leave people the fuck alone. (If you're a roleplay account it still doesn't give you the right to hate on someone's ship, especially on their posts, again leave people alone).

People are leaving the fandom because of y'all's behavior and y'all need to learn some basic human decency and grow the fuck up.

[thetraingotsetonfireonmidnight]

Can u do bakugou and shoyo x male reader? Maybe where people realize they are dating?

I wasn't sure if you wanted them separately or as a poly relationship, so I did both (poly is at the bottom) lol. Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: Bakugou being Bakugou. (Very) brief mentions of homophobia.

𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲 𝔎𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦:

When you and Bakugou first started dating, coming out to everyone was the last thing on his mind.

He's not a very public person, because to be quite frank– his love life is no one else's business.

He's the kind of person who let's his friends find out stuff about him on their own. Never ever will you catch this man directly telling anyone anything about himself because his life is no one's business and he stands by that.

It takes awhile for anyone to catch on, mainly because Bakugou isn't into PDA.

So Class 1-A practically drives themselves crazy trying to figure out if you're actually a thing.

On one hand, you both are constantly low-key flirting.

But on the other hand, Bakugou still very much calls you names such as dickhead and asswipe.

Plus no one has ever seen you two be physically affectionate so

There's no way, right??

Wrong, you two got caught kissing.

It was wrong time wrong place.

Bakugou gave you a small peck goodbye, and Mina had seen it.

And because Mina can't keep a secret to save her life, everyone found out.

Bakugou wasn't exactly thrilled, he preferred it when everyone wasn't "up his ass" about his relationship.

"Bakugou! Why didn't you tell us you were dating Y/N?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS, FUCKWAD. HAD IT BEEN UP TO ME, YOU STILL WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT."

Now thing is, everyone is shocked up also not shocked.

On hand, you two were always together so it just made sense

But on the other...it's Bakugou. He's the least desirable person to ever exist, why in the world would you choose him?

Eventually everyone chills out, and it's back to normal.

Nothing really changes. You and Bakugou still aren't too openly affectionate...

Untilll...

"Katsuki? Do you ever worry about how some people are going to react to us...you know, dating?"

"What do you mean?" He turns to face you. You're sprawled out on his bed spouting out depressing shit all of a sudden while he's trying to study.

"I'm glad that our friends are supportive but...not everyone is going to be as accepting as they are. Does that not worry you?"

He scoffs. You're an idiot for thinking that.

"Of course not. I don't need anyone's permission, I can date whoever the fuck I want...and so can you. I love you, and no one's going to change that."

After that, he's determined to be more openly loving towards you.

Just to prove to you that no one else's opinions matter to him.

𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔖𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬:

Todoroki is similar to Bakugou when it comes to his private life: it's private.

He often makes impulsive decisions without consulting the people around him, and one of those decisions happened to be dating you.

You two got together...and he just never said anything to anyone.

Not because he was scared to, he's not afraid of being judged for who he loves.

And it wasn't because he's not comfy with PDA, because he's perfectly ok with it.

That's actually how everyone found out.

He straight up walked over to you in front of everyone:

"Hey babe, happy to see you."

Kiss on the cheek.

Everyone stops breathing.

Todoroki...the guy who claimed he didn't come to school to make friends...was dating someone.

Minds were blown.

"Todoroki?? Why didn't you ever say anything???"

"I didn't need to??"

"But you do??"

"Oh well...I'm dating Y/N."

No one saw this coming.

Todoroki didn't seem like the kind of guy to date, and no one ever saw you two hanging out so???

This came out of no where.

Some of his friends didn't even know who you were because they've never heard of you.

Not because Shoto is ashamed of you or anything— he just doesn't understand why he needs to talk about his personal life.

You're the person he's dating, so from his understanding, you're the only one who needs to know that.

The guy doesn't understand why everyone feels the need to know about his love life.

When you bring up your concern about some people being not so accepting towards your relationship, Todoroki shrugs.

"Would it make you more comfortable if I were less affectionate with you in public?"

If yes, Todoroki completely respects that.

He respects it a little to hard though because he'll flat out stand on the opposite side of the room.

You love him, but sometimes he was an idiot.

If no, then Todoroki questions why anyone else's input should matter.

"They aren't dating us, so why should they care? If anyone has anything to say, I will talk to them."

He 100% means that btw

Will stand up for you if someone makes a comment about your relationship.

He loves you. End of sentence.

Bonus: Endeavor isn't too happy about the relationship because he doesn't want Todoroki getting distracted from his hero work. Todoroki responds by sending his father pictures of him and you together as a sweet little fuck you.

𝔓𝔬𝔩𝔶!𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔬𝔨𝔦 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔅𝔞𝔨𝔲𝔤𝔬𝔲:

This relationship is a dumpster fire.

Sorry, have to be blunt with you, everything is going right and wrong again the same time.

Mainly because of thing 1 and thing 2 over here.

How they go about relationships is so different yet similar and it throws them both off.

While they both agree that their private life is private— Their views on PDA collide

Now if you ask Bakugou, it's not his fault that the secret got out about you all dating.

Todoroki was challenging him.

Todoroki likes holding ur hand in public.

Bakugou would usually oppose to it, but he felt so left out.

So being as stubborn as he is, he grabs your other hand- making sure it made a loud SMACK to grab everyone's attention. (Dw, ur hand is ok)

Todoroki looks over curiously, "Bakugou, I thought you did not like public display of affection."

"Tch, no shit I don't! But like hell you're going to third wheel me!"

"Bakugou, No one is third wheeling—"

"AND GOD DAMN IT, ICY HOT, MY NAME IS KATSUKI. KATSUKI. USE IT!"

You awkwardly stand there wishing for death to take you as everyone immediately stares at your dysfunctional trio.

Bakugou and Todoroki arguing? That's normal

But both of them holding your hands??? Bakugou telling Todoroki to call him by his first name???

"You three are totally swapping spit." Mineta is the first to say something. While everyone yells at him for his bluntness, they had to admit, he said the exact thing they were all thinking.

You three would definitely get some questions from the class

They're supportive, don't get me wrong.

They've just never been exposed to a poly couple so

They're all very confused.

More so confused about how you got Todoroki and Bakugou agree to it.

After the whole ordeal is dealt with, you gave them a stern talking to about how they need to learn to get along.

"You completely outed us, Bakugou!"

"Yeah yeah, I know Y/N. I'm sorry."

You thought you were making some progress until Todoroki opened his mouth.

"All because you were jealous about me holding his hand–"

"I WASN'T JEALOUS, SHIT FOR BRAINS. MY HAND WAS COLD, SHUT UP."

Your boyfriends are disasters.

Get them some help.

[y3ahwhat3ver]

Been seeing this over and over and it's sort of been annoying me but. Valentino and Alastor are not even remotely comparable. Like. Look I may be a bit biased bc I like Alastor and don't like Valentino beyond the funny moments he has but like.

Okay. Alastor sucks. Like he's a violent dickhead but part of that is that he's very restrained in his violence. The only times we see him do anything outright violent are when he/the hotel are under attack and then his one moment with Husk. His relationship with Husk gets brought up a lot when people make the comparison but to me like.

Throughout the show you see Husk talk shit to Alastor, literally all of the time. He heavily dislikes him (in my opinion a major part of that is bitterness over losing his own title just to become subservient to Al) but he doesn't ever really seem scared of him, beyond the one moment. He and Alastor have known eachother for years and it's pretty clear to me that Alastor sort of just. Let's him say whatever as long as he doesn't hit A Limit. Alastor's own contract is something he's very clearly sensitive about and Husk bringing that up when he was already in a bad mood. I'm not saying the way he treats Husk in this scene is good, or right but just that it makes sense in context.

I guess what really does it for me is Niffty as well? Like it's so clear she loves Al, quite literally crawling all over him and crowning him. They have a very sweet relationship in the show. She's comfortable enough with him to freely speak about her own feelings ("I really like them Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing")

You just get the sense that like. Alastors relationship with his contractee's is. Maybe not the most outright friendly but it's not inherently violent.

And then you compare that to Valentino. Valentino is violent, but worse he's impulsive. And also kind of an idiot. Like the first time we see him it's Velvette calling Vox to come deal with him bc the man is on a rampage and killing her models. He has to be talked down from going to the hotel and killing everyone there. (Already a bad idea image wise but like. With the literal Princess of Hell in that hotel it's like. What was your plan for after that Val. What was your plan for after you attacked the only heir to the throne, the literal daughter of the devil. Christ.)

The difference here is that the only contractee we see him interact with is Angel Dust, and their relationship is fraught with abuse. Physical, sexual, and psychological. Valentino enables his drug addiction because it makes Angel more compliant. Even when he is not being violent towards Angel himself, he's still perpetuating that violence through the work he has Angel do (literally the everything about Poison makes me kind of sick to watch. Tbh, like great song but i cannot watch the mv without getting kind of upset. And look there's a conversation in there about sex work, and specifically SAFE sex work but that's not really what this post is.)

Like. There's literally a line in the show about Angel being WATERBOARDED at work. ("You know, Val, he's into that waterboarding shit now - I don't know, it's a kink." - episode 6 welcome to heaven) And this is JUST Angel's perspective. You don't see Valentino's other contracts but from the way Angel is treated, it's kind of clear that he does shit like this to anyone under his control, and thus anyone who cannot tell him No.

Look. You get the sense that Alastor is a dick, but there's no implication that he takes Niffty and Husk out back and beats them when he's aggravated (with them or otherwise.) We literally watch Valentino assault and threaten Angel because there is someone stronger than him [Valentino] who is trying to get him out of work.

[Edit (June 2nd, 2024): I want to clarify that I do like loser, baby and also Husk as a character and this is more abt my grievances with fandom comparing the two. In series, Angel needed that discussion with Husk and even thought their situations aren't 1:1 or even really that similar, it's still clear that Husks attempt to like. Empathize with him worked for Angel. That is all, thank u and goodnight]

[aemiron-main]

Please Stop Posting My Analysis On Twitter And Acting Like You Came Up With It <:(

There’s someone on twitter who just constantly takes stuff from my tumblr & posts it & acts like they came up with it… like the edward stuff and the twinner stuff and the victor-owens stuff etc etc.

And it’s always like. specific stuff right after i make my posts like. I JUST made a post about this EXACT topic this morning:

And same with this post.

And this post/this post.

And this post again. (and this is what frustrates me- its not just somebody talking abt theories & forgetting to cite stuff, it’s somebody grabbing my posts, acting like they thought of them, and then saying theyre going to “win” when theyre right for a thought they didn’t even come up with).

And this post.

And this post.

And that’s not even all of them. Not even close

Like. It’s wayyyyyy too much and wayyy too identical to be a coincidence, and it’s always Right after me, there’s no way it’s a coincidence, as much as i’d love to give this person the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, it’s just annoying to have people grab your thoughts and analysis and act like they came up with it. Like cmon twitter person!! We could chat and trade theories back and forth instead of you just grabbing my stuff and acting like you thought of it!!

I’m not even mad, just kind of disheartened and annoyed, because I put a lot of time and work into my analysis & would LOVE to talk to another fellow edward believer instead of this!!

I don’t even mean this in a “grrr people have to cite me every time they BREATHE about edward or about something I’ve said” way, but when someone’s just grabbing my posts basically right after I make them and acting like they came up with them, it is just a minor annoyance & so this isnt meant to be a Huge Scary Angry Callout Cancelling post, I’ve just included the screenshots/evidence here so that I’m being super clear about what I’m talking about/what’s frustrating. Like it’s just a little annoying to do all of this out of pure love of the show & passion for analysis & get called a delusional idiot all the time for it, just to have people try and grab it for clout on twitter.

And it’s especially frustrating when they make tweets like this (hilariously enough, the only time they mention this “someone on tumblr” (me) is when they don’t like the content, but they can’t do that for ANY of my other analyses that they’ve grabbed):

RIGHT after I was posting analyses like this one today:

Which, of COURSE, everyone is entitled to their own opinions & feelings on what analysis they personally want to read/that they agree with. I just think it’s a little bit frustrating for somebody to rip off my posts and then get annoyed and judgemental when suddenly the content I’m posting isn’t Catered To Them, despite it being analysis of the show + SA being a frequent feature in the ST narrative.

(and new update/edit to this post- they’re definitely talking about my analysis.)

This is far from the first time somebody on twitter has done this (twitter users come up with your own analyses challenge), but it’s definitely the most frequent. If this person sees this, I’m not mad at you, I’d just really love it if you wouldn’t do this anymore & we could even chat about analysis!!

I would have dm’d this person on twitter to talk in private, but because they don’t follow me, the new twitter rules mean I’d have to pay for a twitter subscription to do that.

[asherloki]

Arranged marriage with Sherlock

Always by my side!

Bbc Sherlock

Warning:- arranged marriage, anxiety!

Otherwise fluff!

I'm writing these tropes! Here's the list!

It all started when my family became determined to marry me off to someone, literally anyone, as I failed to find myself a suitable groom they took it in their own hands. I was furious and rejected every men they presented. But it was my mistake, because the last guy whom they confirmed on my behalf looked a little suspicious. I didn't know how to get his information out so I thought to seek help from the best person in London. Yes, Sherlock Holmes and his assistant and friend John Watson. As I knocked, and finding the door open, I entered to find the two men arguing,

"Sherlock Holmes?" I called out loudly. Both of them looked at me and I told them everything. The detective listened and said, "I would've declined this case immediately but guess you're really in trouble." I was unsure of his remark.

"What ?"

"The way you described him, it says, he doesn't value anyone, he isn't going to value your opinion, I'm sorry but he is not someone who is... Suitable for you ".

"What do you mean by that?" I wanted a clear explanation.

"Look at you, you're young, posh, I believe educated and have own opinion, a little self centric perhaps but he, he's gonna treat you like you don't matter, so if it wasn't for you I would've turned it down but ...." He paused, "I'm not going to sit quietly and see your life getting ruined."

"What will you do?" John asked him.

"I'll find about this guy and see if he's fine for her."

Two days passed and I got his call,

"Yes?" I answered.

"I atleast expected a greeting" said the man from the other side. "Anyway come to Baker Street at once."

So I did and obviously that guy turned out to be a jerk, who disrespects everyone.

"So you better tell your family." He said.

"But that ain't gonna work." I replied.

"Why so?"

"You see, I don't wanna get married right now, and I have rejected 15 men they've chose".

"Fifteen?"

"Yes, and he's the sixteenth but my reason for rejecting them was, I... I wanna study Mr Holmes, more, I know I'm already a graduate but I want more, a good job too, I don't want to be my husband's house wife and as you've seen him, they won't let me work."

"Have you told your parents?"

"No use, they'll be marrying me off anyway, they're determined."

"That's illegal, you can simply..."

"They're my family Mr Holmes, I'd rather marry a jerk than letting them go through this legal trouble."

"But that'll ruin your life" he said with such power in his voice and that was the truth.

"I guess your work is done then, just the payment part is left".

"Are you going to marry him ?"

"Yes unfortunately."

"Then I'm unsuccessful in your case, I can't accept a penny."

"You did your job".

"I won't take a coin".

It was absolutely ridiculous to argue with him, so I greeted and went away although before leaving I just heard John's voice saying, "Sherlock, I have a plan."

I shrugged it off as I was genuinely in trouble. Later that evening, I found out that my marriage with that Jerk was called off because someone else, said to be better turned up to ask my hand in marriage, Sherlock Holmes. Can you believe it? What a ridiculous thing he has done honestly. I was furious. I couldn't help but enter my room and call him,

"Hello?"

"What are you ? A lunatic?" I was absolutely angry.

"See , you can't greet properly, what's wrong?"

"You asked my family to marry me ?"

"John and Mycroft did, it is arranged between our families."

"I asked help and you idiot, you took this opportunity to marry me? Does my parents know how older you are than me ?"

"Yes they do, yet they accepted and I'm still helping you".

"Exactly how?"

"If you marry me, you won't have to be with that Jerk, I won't stop you from studying and you can work as long as you want you can stay with us, and in the mean time, if you find someone whom you and I both find suitable for you, you are free to follow your heart."

"I need your approval now?"

"Oh yes you do"

"Fine but you can't force yourself on me, that's the fear I have in arranged marriage "

"I assure you I won't, now get ready for the wedding young lady."

That was the conversation we had before the wedding and we met on our wedding day again. Everyone were so happy but I was still trying to process everything. I myself did the rituals hesitated but look at the cold detective, he did everything so smoothly. I couldn't believe I had to live in that rusty dusty flat with him. But yet after all he was saving my life, it was true.

I became Mrs Sherlock Holmes. After the wedding we both went to the very famous 221b Baker Street. When I entered his flat, it was absolutely disaster, papers filled the floor, and his dining table was more like a chemistry lab.

"Uh, I know this isn't something you expected" he said, he seemed a little embarrassed, "but um give me some time I'll, I'll fix it". And offered me a smile. I stared with furrowed eye brow, I still can't believe I'm married. But I kept on reminding me, it's just a help, he helped me. Because of him that Jerk won't be forcing himself on you.

I smiled back to him too then wondered where should I keep my things, "my things?" I asked.

"Oh yes um that's my room you can put it there... I mean" he paused a little, "our room". He said, I didn't know what was happening, but it sounded good, 'our room'. I did as he said and saw him picking the papers from the ground. People said he's a junkie, he might be, but not he was extremely sweet, at least at this moment. No wait? What am I thinking, perhaps I was just hungry.

"May I open the fridge?" I asked impatiently, he was about to warn me to be careful but I already opened it and yes, there were human thumbs. I gave a light scream and closed the door.

"At least wait till I tell you" he said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect that."

"You okay?" He seemed a little concerned not gonna lie.

"No I was shocked, I'm fine don't worry. So you don't have food in there."

"Nope"

"You don't cook?"

"Nope"

"Who does?"

"Mrs Hudson, John"

"John? He lives here?"

"Yes with rosie his daughter."

"Oh"

"Is that a prob..."

"It's okay I can cook".

He forgot to blink perhaps.

"You want to cook? In my kitchen... I mean our.. I.. you can cook?"

"Do I look stupid? Ofcourse I can cook, just tell me what you have, I'll make something out of it,"

He walked towards the kitchen, still not blinking and took out every little thing he had but I already had in mind what I'm gonna cook.

"Cool, you have chicken and everything, looks like chicken tikka masala would be perfect. now you can clean while I see what I can make."

He stared as if his eyes said, 'bosy' . But he nodded and went back to his work.

After half an hour John came with Rosie. The first thing Rosie did was hug Sherlock. And he seemed really fond of her. It was so sweet I could stare at them if I weren't cooking. He's not that cold as he seems, perhaps these walls and John and Rosie could only see this side of him, and now me. Then Sherlock stood up and walked towards me while John and Rosie went to their room.

"Um I was thinking, perhaps we can order something, because we always eat together so.."

"I made for them too". This reply too seemed surprising to him.

"You did?"

"Yes I made for five people, you me John rosie and Mrs Hudson, what? You thought I'll only cook for myself?"

He stared and I almost wanted to hit him with my frying pan for being such an idiot.

"I... Thanks" he uttered.

"Okay um.. welcome maybe" that was the most awkward thanks and welcome I've ever been a part of.

Obviously my heart was in my hand when we sat to dine, what if they didn't like it?

"Why aren't you eating?" John asked.

"Oh no I want you three to eat first and tell me if you like it?"

I waited nervously as they took their first bite and then I saw their expression, enough to tell me it was good.

"It's soooo good" said little rosie, "really good" said John. And then I stared at the stupid man, also the most intelligent man as well actually, the man I was married to, "it's um.." he started,

"You can do better, be honest like you're always, harsh honest". Urged John.

"It's, better than anything I've ever had, I believe you know the secret of making good food, which is putting every spice in right amount and..."

"She doesn't need this, your intellectual explanation." John scolded him.

"Yeah right sorry."

I couldn't help but a soft giggle escaped from my mouth, "that's okay, glad you all liked it, now let us have our dinner."

After we four ate and Mrs Hudson also came to say it was so good. And surprisingly I saw Mr detective helping John with the dishes. I took this opportunity to roamed around the little flat. Rosie was already asleep and I stood by the window. After their work was done John went to sleep. And I could hear light footsteps of Sherlock approaching,

"That was very thoughtful of you". He said from behind. I turned to face him.

"Please, it was normal, atleast for me."

"If I'm being honest then I must say I deduced you wrong, I thought you were self centric."

No he wasn't wrong, I am self centric but how could I say, how could I confess? as standing by the window I realised I... I started to like his little family and him as well.

"I actually am, but I like when people praises my cooking so Maybe that's why. Anyway I am sleepy."

"Oh yes ofcourse, then we must ..." He looked at me and I gulped because things started to get pretty awkward at this point.

"Don't worry " he assured, "I'll keep my promise, I won't take advantage of you."

"Oh no I know, I trust you with it."

And sleeping beside him, didn't feel awkward at all. Even though when I woke up I saw my hand was on his chest and he was wide awake.

"Oh I'm sorry" I apologised taking away my hand.

"No it's fine, I believe you are used to sleep hugging a pillow isn't it?"

Again Mr detective deduces everything, "mm yes".

"So it's fine, don't worry about it." He got up saying so. Yet ofcourse it was awkward. But I tried to think nothing of it and replied,

"Yes I guess, are you going somewhere?"

"Yes cases, I'll take John with me too, will you be okay here?"

"Rosie will be here right?"

"Nope she'll be at school."

"When will you come?"

"Maybe before lunch."

That was okay, I could just go out and explore the place till then. And that's that, the two men went on their adventure and I went out to roam around Baker Street. I sat inside a cafe for an hour two, perhaps two until my phone rang and it was Sherlock, "yes?" I recieved it and said.

"Hey um.. when are you coming?" He asked from the other side.

"Are you two home already? I thought... Never mind, I thought it'd take you time, it's okay I'm coming."

And apparently I went to 221b, to find the two men already sat.

"There you are" said John.

"Yes, I am."

"He's never been this excited to get home before honestly."

"JOHN" snapped Sherlock at his comment.

"Uhhhh, okay" I said awkwardly and we three had lunch together. Later that evening both John and Sherlock were home, discussing about the case and Rosie went down to Mrs Hudson.

"So that's it, now I'm gonna go out get some air" said John and Sherlock and I nodded. We both sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you wanna walk outside too?" Sherlock asked me nervously.

"I mean, I wouldn't mind." I said smiling cause I really wanted to go out for walk.

We both walked aimlessly through the streets and some small talks were the entertainer for us. Many stores, cafe, restaurant passed and we walked together. It felt good surprisingly. He too felt good perhaps, his brows are always furrowed but now I see there's a twinkle in his eyes, brows relaxed and is that a little smile?

"You're staring" he snapped me out of my deduction.

"Oh yes , I was , trying to deduce you". I answered smartly or tried to do so.

"Oh really? So what did you get?"

Is he challenging me?

"Well, your case might've been well, you seem happy."

"Hmmm" he just hummed, but it was an acknowledging hum.

"Was I right?"

"Fifty percent".

"Now what does that mean?"

"Coffee or tea?" He literally shrugged it off and didn't explain, that's something new.

"Tea" I replied

"Same, let's get in here" he took me into a cafeteria. He ordered two English tea and some biscuits. It came in no time almost.

"It's actually good." I remarked as I took a bite of the biscuit.

"Ginger nuts" he said.

"I know your favourite. But mine is Bourbon."

"I know, I ordered those too, and if you'd like cakes , pastry you can get them too." He offered.

We had a good time there, just us, we got to know eachother more. It felt like he's very own. He talked of his past, his work, his friends. Perhaps he felt the same way about me. We made this evening date an everyday thing, even if he had work he'd take break for an hour and we'd try tea from different places. And I discovered he's and excellent violinist. He and I would even talk till we sleep. It's been many times we'd just talk stay awake at night and unknowingly drifted off between them.

But the other day as I layed down talking to him with my phone and giggling with him. He asked me, "you're quite likable to all aren't you, people must've been very fond of you since your childhood?"

I paused for a moment, as I remembered my horrible days, those horrible angry faces, those elders shouting at me saying things that hit me like dart, that pierced my heart, thess memories may have been burried under but, comes out time to time. I'm sure he saw my smile fading,

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?" He said this a little louder as he held my hand. I remembered my horrible days and I felt tears falling down my cheeks. My phone fell from my hand as I looked at him and held his hand which hand my other palm in it and started crying. I bet he couldn't believe it, he told me his dark side smiling but I wasn't him, I wasn't strong. So I held him and cried, that was the first time he held me that close, he wrapped me in his arms tightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it'd cause you pain, forgive me".

I tried to control as I felt a little better after letting it all out, "no it wasn't your fault, you see Sherlock, I wasn't likable or something like that so I didn't have much people liking me. I was never upto the mark according to them, You've seen how vulnerable I am, Sherlock please don't leave me for this, I will do anything but don't abandon me for being weak."

"Shhh, no I can never leave you, how could I?who says you're weak, you survived every brick they threw at you from that young age, You're stronger than you think, and I? I won't ever leave you, and I think your parents have been harsh because they wanted good for you, even though creating trauma isn't the way but, it's okay, that was past, you're here now, you're looking for work and doing things you like, you'll see your family will understand you one day, for now, I'm not leaving."

He stroked my hair trying to calm me down. And I did perhaps, for that night, I hoped he knew what comes with me, hope he knows how to deal with this side of me. Bet he does, Sherlock Holmes knows everything. Since then I'd say we became good friends. And perhaps a little more as we're supposed to be, after all I shouldn't forget I married him.

A few months later as we were walking together from our evening tea date, and reached home we saw inspector lestrade at our doorstep.

"Sherlock".

"Lestrade? You look nervous, desparate... Well like as usual".

Should I laugh at him being this silly? Perhaps not now. We entered and he explained his case, it needed Sherlock and John to be investigating it right away but,

"You guys need to come to yorkshire with me, until the case solves." Said lestrade, and it was for a long time. I never felt like this. I felt as if without him, I forgot how deal with things. He felt the same I was sure, I looked at his face amd his expression was as similar to mine.

"But lestrade..." There wasn't any excuse but, Sherlock tried to form some kind of reason but there wasn't any.

"What?" The detective inspector snapped.

"Nothing" no he couldn't say it, "could you wait outside?"

"But I need to fetch you right now."

"I said outside, I need to talk to my wife." Sherlock yelled at these words. He yelled at lestrade for me. I felt safe, safe to be his wife. At that very moment I embraced my title and my marriage.

He went out and Sherlock looked at me, "listen I..."

"I know, I don't like being without you either, but I don't wanna be someone who drives you away from the thing you love, your work." I replied.

"What I meant to say is not this, look, it is true, these days since you've come, I was happy to be at home, I liked being here. As you deduced me smiling, it was half for case and half for being with you, I enjoy being here, with you. You are the best friend to whom I never feared of being judged and you are the one whom I stared at, when you cooked, when you try to play my violin, when you play with Rosie and even when you sleep. Yes and I know I promised you something but guess right now all I want for us is to do that one thing that is still left for us do as a married couple."

My heart leaped as I realised what he meant. But he needed to be at Yorkshire that moment than in our bedroom. I couldn't think more and placed my lips on his. He kissed me more passionately, hungrily, lovingly. After the kiss. As we breathed heavily I whispered, "perhaps after you come back from Yorkshire, we'll can be completely married then."

"so you won't go to anyone else?" He asked, our forheads touching one another's.

"no, where can I go, this is my home, you're my home Sherlock."

"And you're mine".

That was that and both the men went on their adventure. Molly would come sometimes to check on Rosie and we became good friends. Sherlock would call everyday and then after 2 and a half weeks. He came. We stood staring at eachother for a minute after his arrival. That distance between us was needed to know the value of eachother. And we valued us.

1 years later...

As we sat on the couch, he looking for cases and I was doing my work, he called out, "I must say it".

"What?" I was surprised, what now?

"I can't keep it, I haven't said this to you in a year". He was nervous again.

"What is it?"

"I love you" it took him a year to utter these words again to me.

"I know, thank goodness you said this again, after more than a year of our marriage, I believe you said this to me first time when you came from Yorkshire and kissed me isn't it Sherlock?". I said and got back to work.

"You didn't say it back?" He asked with his puppy eyes. Aww look at him. I put my laptop down and kissed his left cheek and said,

"I love you too Sherlock Holmes ".

Taglist:- @poetrypirate @astudyinlaura @peppiloll @callsign-sunshine @el-de-phi @druggedbyfiction @mysticwitchcraftco

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I think it's time for me to come clean with something I've never admitted to anybody before. And it's not something I've done or anything like that. It's not an action I've taken. It's an opinion I have that I know is something that would cause a lot of...let's say strife with most people if they knew I had it. It's not a controversial opinion I'm particularly proud of the way I'm proud of my opinion on John Lennon being a boring hack, or my opinions on YouTube content creators being, by default, talentless nobodies compared to literally any other professional creative, or my opinion that sport hunting journalists and politicians should be, if not actually legal, than at least one of those victimless crimes that never actually get prosecuted. This opinion I'm about to share is something that my own parents would never understand if I were to admit it to them, which, to be honest, does sting a bit when I let myself think about it too much.

I know most of you don't follow me for personal BS, and I respect that, so I'm going to put a cut before I state this opinion so people who don't really care to learn more about me as a person can easily give it a skip. For the rest of you, all I ask is that you try to keep an open mind, and understand that this is as hard for me to admit as it is for you to read.

George Carlin is a terrible fucking comedian.

I know. I know.

But hear me out.

I'm not saying he's not funny, because he can be. Certainly he was hilarious to 12 year old Little Me who would watch clips of his acts on Comedy Central long after my parents went to bed. But as I got older, I started to notice something. It wasn't that I was "growing out" of George Carlin. That's silly to say. That's like saying someone grew out of watching Eddie Murphy's Raw. You're not even supposed to be watching that stuff until you're grown.

No, the thing I noticed was that he isn't actually a comedian.

He's a blogger.

Again, he does tell jokes, but telling jokes does not a comedian make. Everyone tells jokes. What makes a comedian a comedian is that they are so funny that people will pay money to laugh at their jokes. And that's not George Carlin. That's not why people go to see George Carlin. They might think it is, but it's not. No, they go to see him for the same reason he stands up in front of them and speaks.

They want to hear their own opinions parroted back at them, and then they want to cheer. Just like George doesn't really want to make people laugh. He wants to give his opinions on social issues and politics, and then he wants everyone to clap and validate those opinions. The laughter is completely secondary. It's not even necessary past the point of telling just enough jokes to both get people in the door, and to allow those people the illusion that they're at a comedy show and not reading a blog.

And Carlin isn't the only blogger pretending to be a comedian. You probably know quite a few already. The Jon Stewarts, John Olivers, and Jimmy Kimmels of the world who just want to be cheered for stating their, often idiotic, opinions on things. I used to call this "Applause Comedy", and I've always hated it with a passion. But these days I just call it blogging, because that's what it is. And George Carlin is its grandfather. His entire career is based on "telling it like it is" instead of "telling jokes". And let's be fair, some of his opinions are right. Of course, these days the people he roasts are usually not on the same side of the political divide as the ones he was intending on roasting. He is another terminal victim of the 60s, so don't ever mistake him for being even remotely right wing.

(I wonder if, were he still alive, would he be one of those few boomerlibs that actually recognize how batshit insane the left has become? Or would he be one of the ones that now supports all the things they railed against 40+ years back because their identity as a leftist is more important than their supposed principals?

I could speculate, but I won't.)

But being able to comment intelligently or eloquently on political or social issues isn't a skill one should look for in a comedian. And getting cheered for stating an opinion isn't something a real comedian should look for in their audience. A comedian tells jokes. He makes people laugh. He tells stories and weaves tales and creates an atmosphere of joy. He allows us to keep the outside world at bay for an hour or so, and leaves us with a small shield against that world when his show is over in the form of fond memories and shared enjoyment.

You're more likely to come out of a George Carlin show more angry at the world than when you went in.

And that's not comedy.

That's not entertainment.

That's blogging.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I usually always agree with your stance on depictions of greek gods in media and how they should look greek (as a greek myself, its frustrating) unfortunately in the case with Hades many of these conversations have been tainted by or are thinley veiled talking points in support of racism and alt right values (which I know is not YOUR intention! Or the intention of some others pointing this out, but from what ive seen of the majority it is racism/alt right rhetoric...unfortunately many game communities are running rampant with this) these people have no interest in anti colonialist values, and in many cases are actually advocating against what you're calling out and want the greek gods to look "white" not "greek" (blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, just as you mentioned these depictions still being racist these types of people would have no issue if the gods looked like this and are actually they types to see this as their ideal ancient greek). I am just letting you know as someone who has seen this happen time and time again in game communities and has come to know how these people talk....Even if what they're advocating for at face value has a bit of truth I dont think these are values you want to align yourself with in this specific context 😅

I've seen these things too, and I disagree with the racist statements as you pointed out. The messages here asked for my opinion so I only gave it, without presenting any post/line I agree with.

I know the types you're talking about, the Greeks who think pale/blue eyes and light blond hair are the "ideal" 😭 I don't know how many of them are out there in this specific argument (I didn't spend too much time on X) but I've seen many Greeks here who agree the presentation of gods wasn't ideal, without going to the ALT right side.

The racists are against the design for their own stupid reasons. Following the "I don't like the design" line, doesn't mean I or others are following the racist line as well. Μακριά από μας 😂 These idiots go "no light skin = no Greek, Black people Africans GRRR", and they give me the hives. I think many of them also lack the critical thinking to understand what the underlying problem is. (I don't equate bad articulation with racism, I'm just saying our racists are not too bright and sometimes they don't put much time into understanding why they're annoyed 😭)

I put many disclaimers in the post to avoid being mistaken for one of them. I think we have to learn how to express our worries without slipping (accidentally or not) towards bigotry. I don't want our concerns to go unnoticed just because of some stupid assholes. I'd like Greeks to find ways to push back the racism and bigotry in the game community, and also advocate for more respect when it comes to our culture. I'm tired of racists ruining it for everyone, I'm tired of having to put disclaimers like "I think people should have rights" when talking about archaeology and culture. This is still the racist's fault, since their existence and prevalence makes us all look shit. The rest of us have to learn how to handle them and separate ourselves from them.

What do you think?

[nukenai]

Since everyone's having the stupid pride discourse again ("don't bring your partner who i am assuming is cishet to pride!" or whatever) I'm seeing my favorite tweet ever again which is this:

And I remember last year people started being like "Wow, I guess everyone is making fun of people with anxiety now! Guess it's cool to make fun of neurodivergence!"

No. That is not what people are doing. The above tweet, and similar attitudes, is referring to people who spend all day online having inflammatory opinions about bullshit like "who is allowed to attend a pride parade" or "are asexual people Queer Enough, as decided by Me, The Arbiter of Gay?", acting like they are authorities on anything, and being really aggressive to strangers. But then. If they have to make a fucking phone call or confront someone in person, they completely clam up because they're just insecure freaks with no real convictions.

THAT is what this is making fun of. No one is saying that it's cool to be like LMFAO YOU HAVE ANXIETY YOU FUCKING IDIOT. It's "Lmfao, you really spend all day yelling at strangers on twitter and acting like a bully, when IRL you would never ACTUALLY say anything to the supposed "cishet boyfriend", or your bi friend in a "het" relationship, or an asexual person who is minding their own goddamn business." Because yeah actually, that's hilarious and pathetic if you act like that!

Also these people making big posts and tweets like "here's my really insane opinion about why no one who "looks cis" should ever attend a pride parade" are pretty much always under 25 which. lol. shut up baby.

Anyways happy pride month i'm asexual and like maybe aromantic I don't fucking know. No one is interested in me and all the (vague gestures) I would come with so it does not matter to me right now. But if labels matter to you, that's awesome! Please realize labels are not assigned to you by other people, you do not NEED them, but it's awesome if they make you feel awesome and it can be so helpful to find one that matches you.

If you're like, idk a bi woman with a cishet husband or whatever, and someone has a problem with that, you're allowed to kick them right in the fucking mouth. It's legal!

[beaker1636]

Masquerade - Vinny Smut

AN: Requested by my wonderful mutual @thesazzb !! I am actually really excited about this one and feel like it came out great, I hope you enjoy!

“Okay, that’s it.  You are going to the party with me, and we are going to get drunk and get you laid.  You need to stop moping about your breakup. It's been almost a month, get over here and let me make you hot,” Your best friend Paige grabs your arm, practically dragging you out of your bed.

“I don’t want to, we were together for almost 2 years, let me be sad,” you whine, trying to pull your arm away from her.

“Nope, we are done moping and whining.  Sit down, let me do your hair so we can make you smoking. Get you any guy that you want at the bar,” she says, shoving you down in your desk chair while she runs to get her curling iron. 

You give up on fighting her, once she has her mind made up there is no stopping her.  

She comes back and quickly gets to work on curling your hair, knowing that you always feel more confident when it is curled rather than straight, and she wants you to feel like you are the most attractive woman in the room when she is done.  Your ex has torn you down for too long, made you insecure about your looks for too long and she is going to change that, hoping that getting you laid will help pull you out of your funk.

She starts with your makeup next, highlighting your eyes which in her opinion are absolutely beautiful and don’t need much work to make them pop.  You have a natural beauty that can’t be faked, that is why she will forever hate Austin for destroying your self worth, you don’t realize what you have, and you should.

After shoving you in a dress that shows off way more leg and cleavage than you have shown in years she moves you in front of the full length mirror that is in the living room so you can see her work, you gasping as you almost can’t recognize yourself.  She actually made you look, dare you say it, hot.

“Okay, let's go.  Oh wait, here, it's a masquerade so you need a mask,” she says handing you one off the table, before leading you out towards the uber that she must have called already to drop you off.  She had already thought of everything.

“You had this all planned didn’t you, hence why you had an extra mask there and this dress,” you asked her, glancing across the car at where she sat.

“Yes, you need it.  And look, we are here, lets go get you a drink,” she says, leading you towards a keg and pouring you a drink before handing you the cup, getting one of her own.

A couple drinks later and you are honestly having a lot of fun, you and Paige dancing together while others in the crowd do the same, not caring if you looked like idiots because everyone is starting to the way they have been drinking tonight.

“I am getting another drink, be right back,” she says, stumbling away from you, leaving you now feeling out of place being by herself. 

After a couple minutes you have accepted that she isn’t returning any time soon and are about to leave the dance floor but someone stops in front of you, bringing your attention to this man who is smiling down at you.

“Your friend seems to have left you, want to dance?” He asks you, a smile on his face when you look at him. You swallow slightly as you take in the handsome man in front of you.  His dark eyes scan your face to read your reaction as you shamelessly check him out, his curls standing out to you because of the red in the front, what you assume is his natural brown in the back.  You don’t know why that is standing out so much to you but it is.

“You’re not from around here are you,” you shamelessly ask. “I mean- you have an american accent is all,” you glance away, feeling your blush spread across your face.

“No, I am passing through for work.  Some of my um- coworkers found out about the party and we all decided to crash it, something to do on a night off,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Truthfully, Vinny is being vague but he doesn’t want anyone to recognize him.  Sometimes it can be hard to get out and have a fun night without people recognizing him, and he just wants a normal night for once. Partying, drinking and maybe having a hookup if things work out that way.

“Well, you wanted to dance, so let’s dance,” you say, being more forward than usual with the alcohol taking over your system at this point, your normal reservations leaving you.

You grab his hand and drag him out on the dance floor where both of you dance, talk and laugh, losing yourselves in each other as your bodies touch, finding that both of you are having a great time.  At one point his lips find yours, and you lean into the kiss, it gets heated between the two of you quickly before you pull away.

“Normally I don’t do this, but do you maybe want to go back to my place?” you ask him, feeling shy but wanting more from this man that you barely know.

“Fuck, yes,” he responds, letting you take his hand as you drag him out of the front door of the party, quickly getting an uber and messaging Paige that you are leaving, her sending you back a wink face and telling you that she has condoms in her room, knowing exactly why you are leaving as she has been watching you and the man you have no learned is named Vinny from across the room, glad that you are enjoying yourself.

The second you and Vinny arrive at your apartment and you are inside the door his lips are on yours, turning you around and pushing your body against the door as his hands rest on your hips, his tongue finding yours.

“Fuck,” he groans as you grind your hips into his, feeling his erection through his jeans against your clothed core. “Where’s your room? I need you.”

He pulls away from you long enough for you to show him your room, both of you take your masks off, no longer giving a shit about concealing your faces from one another as you step inside your bedroom.  

His lips find yours again, you grabbing ahold of his shirt to keep him close to you.  You haven’t gotten laid in quite awhile, but even then your ex couldn’t ever actually get you off.  You fucking needed this mans touch, needed to enjoy yourself.  You find yourself grabbing the hem of his shirt, yanking the material over his head roughly, running your hands across his skin and then leaning back in to kiss again.

His hands start to trail up your legs, slowly moving under the hem of your dress, slipping the material up your thighs, it bunching at your hips as he practically shoves you onto your back on the bed.

You ignore the thoughts in your head that are telling you to stop, choosing instead to focus on the hand that is currently getting dangerously close to the heat that is building between your thighs. Not even caring about the consequences of your actions as you find yourself growing dangerously wet.

Your kiss deepens, his tongue finding yours as your nails slowly drag across his chest, one of his hands bunching in the curls at the back of your head to keep you close as the other moves to your back, tugging it open as the cool air meets your skin.  You lean up just long enough for him to pull it over your head, leaving you in only your panties.

His hands move so that they can cup your breasts,  you flushing under his gaze as he admires your chest.  He couldn’t wait to touch you, feel you tremble against him.  His fingers now run against your ribs lightly, smiling to himself when you squirm against his touch.

You wrap your arms around his neck, feeling his hands settle on your hips as you shuffle, your hips moving against his, allowing you to feel his clothed erection against yourself.

Pulling you tight against him, a small grown escapes our lips as you continue to move yourself against him, feeling needy and wishing he would just give you what you want from him.

His lips pull away from yours, slowly nibbling his way down to your neck and collarbone, before settling on your breasts, biting and sucking along your skin in a way that is driving you crazy, making you buck your hips against his, the heat between the two of you becoming harder and harder to ignore.

“Vin,” you whine, reaching between the two of you and closing your hand the best you can around his clothed erection, you move your lips to just under his ear, nibbling at the skin there as you try to undo the button of his jeans and zipper, wanting him naked with you.

He allows you to remove them, along with his boxers, shifting his hips in a way so that his now free erection brushes against you through your panties making you both groan at the contact, your fingers squeezing him as he shuffles his jeans the rest of the way off.

His lips find yours, you grow more desperate and whimpering as his fingers move along your thighs, pressing against your wet core through your panties, making him smirk at you.  Moving your panties aside he runs his fingers through your folds, causing you to whimper again at how sensitive you are beneath him when he finds your clit. 

You press your hips into into his hand eagerly, urging him to do something, him finally slipping a finger inside of you, a second quickly finding it when he realizes you are wet enough to take it.

His teeth lightly sink into the flesh by your collarbone as he starts pumping his fingers inside of you roughly, you closing your eyes from the pleasure he is currently bringing you.

“God dammit, Vin, I need you inside of me,” you all but beg at this point, close and wanting the release that he can give you right now.  

He moves to grab his jeans, fumbling through his wallet for the condom he knows is inside of it before quickly sliding it on, moving to rub himself against your folds, groaning when you needily raise your hips, making him brush against you.

“Fuck,” he groans as he grabs your hips, flipping you over so that you are on top of him before you take charge and sink yourself down on top of him, rocking your hips against his.  You pull his lips to yours again, needy, as he pulls your hips down so that you meet him tightly, both of you moaning as your body stretches to accommodate him, taking all of him at once now.  

You roll your hips against his, Vin inhaling sharply underneath you at the feeling. 

Your hands press into his shoulders, forcing him to lay against the bed as you take charge over your movements.  Enjoying the control you currently have over him, and clearly he doesn't mind, his fingers dig into your hips as he holds you in place.

They eventually wander, grabbing your ass, your thighs, they just move over your skin leaving red scratches along your back as they wander.  

Both of you gasp when he thrusts up into you, you whine as he hits the spot inside of you that makes you see stars, within a few more thrusts you are shaking against his skin, starting to feel your orgasm grow.  When you feel his hands dig into the flesh of your ass you finally give in, clenching around him as it hits you.

You pant as you lean down as you come down from your high, your fast pressed against his shoulder as he hips still ram into yours, you clenching around him making him cum deeply.

Both of you lay there, breathing hard and unmoving as you come back down for a few moments, taking the time to recover that you need.  Both of you thinking in your head that the other was easily the best lay that you have had, and now both of you are completely spent.  

He shifts, rolling over so he is on top of you before he slips out of you, gazing down at your sleepy face. You yawn, stretching your hands over your head before he moves. 

Slipping the condom off he ties it before throwing it in your trash bin and slowly moving to slip his clothing back on, you watching him closely.  Part of you not wanting him to leave as you had a great night with him, but knowing that he had to.  You throw your head back on the pillow when he leaves your apartment, absolutely spent but decide you better check on Paige quick.

You notice you already have a text from her telling you that she got home safe, and that she somehow has gotten tickets to a rock show tomorrow and is begging you to go, apparently their name is Motionless In White, and from what she says they are really good.  

Well, looks like you have plans for tomorrow night as well now, you think before you finally allow yourself to fall asleep.

[enchantedlandcoffee]

Hey guys. I've had this idea in my head for a while and wanted to write down the dialogue to get some opinions on it. Please let me know what you think :)

A/N: Eddie survived Season 4. It has nearly been a year since Vecna happened.

*Dustin's hanging out at Family Video whilst Steve is stocking the shelves* Dustin: Sooo...what have you got planned for tomorrow? Steve, picking up a box: Work, like every Thursday. Why? Do you need a lift somewhere? Dustin: Steve! Steve: Dustin! Dustin: You can't work tomorrow! Steve: Why not? I've got nothing better to do. Dustin: Um...because it's your anniversary, duh! *laughs* Steve, on his: Very funny, Henderdon, but you're missing a key detail. In order to have an anniversary, I have to be dating someone first. Last I checked, I'm not. Dustin: *speechless* --

*Later on that day, Dustin calls a group meeting with everyone but Steve and Eddie* Dustin: Okay, does everyone know what tomorrow is? Robin: Thursday? Dustin: No...well, yes but more specifically. Nancy: Isn't is Steve and Eddie's anniversary? Dustin: That's what I thought, but I asked Steve about it earlier and he told me that he's not even dating anyone. Lucas: But he's dating Eddie. Dustin: Exactly! Robin: Okay, I get that Steve can be oblivious but he can't be that bad...right? Dustin: I didn't think he could but...maybe? Anyway, I'm gonna talk to Eddie about this. Hopefully, he's not too disappointed that his boyfriend doesn't know they're in a relationship. -- *Dustin's conversation with Eddie* Eddie, opening his door: Henderson? What are you doing here? Dustin, pushing into the trailer: We need to talk. Eddie: *sarcastically* Come on in. Dustin: No time for manners, Eddie. What do you have planned for tomorrow? Eddie: Tomorrow? Um...I have a shift at the garage and then a gig later on. Why? Do you need a ride somewhere? Dustin: You've got to be kidding me. Eddie: What? Dustin, sitting down: My best friends are idiots. They're idiots. Eddie: An explanation would be nice, Henderson. Dustin: It's your anniversary tomorrow, Munson. Eddie: Anniversary of what? Dustin: Anniversary of you and Steve becoming a couple. Ring any bells? Eddie: Very funny, Henderson, but Harrington and I are not a couple. Dustin: *groans* On second thought, I do need a ride tomorrow. -- *Eddie drops Dustin off at Family Video and is asked to wait outside for a minute* Dustin, barrelling through the door: Robin, it's intervention time! Steve: No- I've told you you can't keep commandeering this shop whenever you feel like it. Robin: Oh shut up dingus, this is for your own good. Steve: Okay is this about the "anniversary" thing? Because if it is, it's not funny guys. Dustin: Steve, this isn't a joke. You and Eddie have been dating for 6 months! Steve: What?! No, we haven't. Robin: What did you do last Friday night? Steve: I went to the movies. Dustin: With...? Steve: ...Eddie. But it wasn't a date. Dustin: Uh-huh, and what about the Friday beforehand? Steve: I was at a club just outside Hawkins. Robin: Doing what? Steve: ...Seeing Corroded Coffin. I was being a supportive friend. Dustin: Steve. On Monday, you told me that you couldn't pick me up because you and Eddie were going to dinner. Steve: *weakly* There's a new Italian restaurant that opened up and we were both interested in the menu. Robin: Steve, that's the third time this month you've gone out for a meal with Eddie. Steve: *unconvincingly* We're good friends. Robin: Steve, as your best friend, have you and I ever gone out for a meal at a romantic Italian restaurant? Steve: ...no. *a minutes silence* Holy shit, I'm dating Eddie Munson. Dustin: Hallelujah! Right, one down, one more to go. I'll go get Eddie. Steve: *panicking* What- no, you can't bring him in here! Dustin: Why not? Steve: Because- he- I just- argh *Steve goes into the backroom* Robin, looking at Dustin: I'll take the drama queen, you deal with the metal-head.

[dorokora]

Part 2 of the Affiliation Quest

Quantum wants to know what are guilds. Daojun explaind in his own words that a guild is like a party where everyone has fun. Since she’s new to Tokyo it might be best to experience one first hand. Quantum has the ability to show possibilities so she ask MC to pick a guild. MC picked the Berserkers. Based of the explanation of the Bersekers given by MC and Quantum, she use her imagination to see herself in the guild. She first bump into Oniwaka but disappeared from sight shortly after. She nexts bump into Macan and got scared of him and ran off. Oniwaka ask him if he seen a small kitten around but Macan just makes fun of him for it. Back to Quantum who is a little overwhelmed from seeing muscles left and right. She sees Ikutoshi and is surprised to see someone her age here. Ikutoshi feel annoyed because it felt like some younger than Kagutsuchi was making fun of him. Bathym also appears to ask Ikutoshi to spar with him for a upcoming ranker match. Ikutoshi accepts and transform to his adult form. Quantum was taken aback by the transformation. Ikutoshi seems to notice her briefly.

She goes into a random room and the next person Quantum bumps into is Cthugha. Who loudly proclaims he isn’t scared. Quantum calls him funny, he looks strong but he’s scared of someone like her. Cthugha’s just happy he gets to talk to someone after such a long time. Loud cheering from the match can be heard and Quantum ask if he’s going to watch. But he said the last time he went he blow up the stadium and ever since then, he’s been kept down below as a secret weapon. Quantum tells him that he’s most likely being tricked and used. Cthugha cries saying he knows he’s an idiot but that’s all he can do. He says he grateful since all other guilds kicked him out. There are no restriction here as long as you go to matches so he can leave this room to talk to other. It’s just that he doesn’t have the courage to go outside and doesn’t want to be a bother to others. Cthugha said Quantum is easy to talk to. Quantum said they maybe different but they’re also similar in ways. Just as quantum was about to leave Ikutoshi and Oniwaka barge in to ask about the kitten they saw. Cthugha is happy to get so many visitors today but he didn’t get Quantum’s name before she left.

Quntum is back in the classroom tired from all that running around. She gives her opinion on the guild, it doesn’t fit her but she said it wasn’t that bad. Daojun starts giving life advice. And Quantum what guild should they look into next. Next guild on the table is the Outlaws. She starts using her ability and laid there motionless as if she dead. Daojun whispers to MC that they are going to follow her into her imagination possibilities using his ability. Quantum is now skipping her own existence into `”other possibilities” that might have happen. We cut to Quantum talking to Tsukuyomi as he welcomes her to the host club. We see Gyobu talking to her and as she was talking, she sees MC and Daojun in front of her. And after clearly up some slight misunderstandings and explaining to Gyobu what’s going on. Later he said he understands now and if Quantum wants to join the outlaws then she more than welcome to. It might not be the safest, comfortable, or clean place to live but they do their best to ensure she lives here. Quntum is happy to hear but. Gyobu tells her she doesn’t have to rush and she does have other options and that she should think about what is that she wants to do. If she to talk to him, she can always come visit him. The three are back in the classroom, Quntum said it’s best to stop for now, she’s afraid to make her own decision. Daojun tells her everyone is afraid of deciding their own path but it’s not the end of the world and your will continue on. Yo are now shutting down possibilities for yourself. Those who do not have the courage to step outside the box will never be able to see the scenery outside the box for the rest of their lives. Behind every possibility, there is always the opposite possibility hidden. Being there, you might get noticed, you might succeed. Don't stop walking on the road. Tokyo is much bigger than you think. If you search, there should be many people who have no chance of losing sight of you. But Daojun is not just talking to Quantum but to Lil’Salomon as well as he point at his direction. Lil’Sal is surprised and ask if he could see him. Daojun said he was able to see him from the beginning. Turns out Quantum can also see Lil’Sal. Daojun said Lil’Sal situation is somewhat different from that of a Quantum who is sometimes recognized and sometimes not recognized. Since Salomon doesn't have many opportunities to attract attention from many people, he is slightly shy.

Quantum ask him if it because no one will look at him, he will be treated as if you don't exist, right? Sal said of course there are many times when he feel lonely, because I usually don't join in with everyone's conversations. Until just now, he’s been silently listening to everyone's stories so as not to disturb MC’s conversation. But it’s fine because he has MC. Quantum said she envy him. Quantum wants to know more about places that could be her new home. The four kept looking at each invitation until sunset. Quantum has made her decision. Every guild has its own merits, and it's hard for her to decide right now. So she thought she’d follow MC, and if she changed her mind, she’d go somewhere else. The episode with MC telling the other of what their decision is.

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

hope this is ok to ask but if you’re willing to spill would you mind talking about some of your spn fic opinions 👀👀

DISCLAIMER: Everyone who writes fic is awesome for doing it and should do what they want and my opinion doesn't matter because who gives a fuck what I think??? Write what makes you happy!!! It doesn't matter!!! If someone doesn't like it they can read something else or write their own fic!!!! I will jump to the defense of an author whose work I don’t even like if they get a bitchy entitled comment from some jerkweed who thinks every fic should be written exactly how THEY want.

That said, in MY opinion *breathes*:

Need more of Cas being a bitch. Cas can be cool sometimes yes and sometimes he can be awkward yes but also he doesn't answer the phone, and when you call him out for ghosting you he just shrugs and says he was busy. He rolls his eyes because you're exasperating and your voice is grating. He ate his own siblings a few times and also said he wanted them all to die because they were so annoying about free will in season 6. Like yes he does little puppy dog eyes and says “sorry” but then he does that same shit again for the 12 billionth time to everyone around him. 

Need more of Dean being that guy. The "I was right about the thing and you didn't listen to me and it blew up in your face, idiot" guy. Like a lot of fics that are Dean centric seem to focus on Dean's self worth issues and his belief that no one loves him and he doesn't deserve happiness because he is a Loser and Stupid and a Weapon and is parentified which is a thing that Dean deals with feeling, but he is also THEEE most annoying hoe when he is right about something and he will NOT shut the fuck up about it. There is a lot of "Nobody will ever love me I am not smart like Sammy ;_;" and I would love to read more "I am literally the actual psychic in this family and I can sniff out how this stupid plan you came up with will fail with the accuracy of a bloodhound looking for a corpse that is just 2 feet away and I will tell you exactly how dumb you are then the universe will prove me right after you go behind my back and I WILL remind you about it at least 5 times." Yes Dean has self-worth issues but also yes Dean will endlessly shit on beings who could kill him in the blink of an eye and will tell everyone they are fucking stupid. 

Nobody can write Sam. Not you, not me, not his fans, not his haters. If, by some miracle, a person CAN write Sam accurately, then they write the best Sam ever written in the entire universe and there are galaxies exploding in your brain as you read his inner monologue... until you get to the part where Dean or Cas becomes relevant and then you immediately have to click out of the fic because this author put every single stat they have into Sam Understanding and apparently there’s are Cas Understander and Dean Understander penalties for doing that of like negative 5 trillion. Worst takes you have ever seen in your entire life. It is too painful to continue reading. Horrible crimes are being committed.

If Kevin appears in a Sam-centric fic there is a good chance the author is mean about him. 

Now that we can exclude things from search results on AO3, I need a tag called: #Everyone gets an A+ on their Mental Health Report Card after the decades of torture and/or lobotomies except Dean who is the Only Fucked Up One Because He Just Can't Manage Like Everyone Else Can And He Is Explicitly Treated As A Burden For Having Trauma Instead Of The Idea Of Him Being A Burden Being Subverted. 

Fics where Cas shows up in the fic to randomly bring dues ex machina from randomcountry and then disappear again as unobtrusively and robotically as possible "You're welcome my friends Sam and Dean Winchester beep boop" *flies away on wings ignoring canon wing loss timeline* are just????  

I notice many authors don’t care/remember when Cas does and doesn’t have certain powers in canon and he flies everywhere and it leaves me very disoriented. Like who even IS a Cas who never lost his wings? That is a different guy.

Every time someone writes "Dean finally pulls his head out of his ass" in the summary of their destiel fic a cute baby animal gets swallowed up by quicksand. 

Making Benny evil is a self-report that you don’t know how to write a friend or love interest for Dean that is better than him and that fact lives rent free in your head. 

[bringcal]

Why I think Jake has NPD as someone who is also a pw/NPD.

Just a heads up, this isn’t to say Jake is evil, wrong, or abusive. He is a random character. There is nothing wrong in having NPD, and I swear to fucking god if I see someone in the notes say I’m ruining his character by making him “bad” or look like an “asshole” I’m going to scream. Jake is a good person. NPD doesn’t make you bad. Also note I’ll probably say “narcissist” or “narc” rather than pw/NPD even though the latter is more formal and respectful. I personally just don’t mind it.

Poor self esteem regulation

With NPD, self esteem and ego is entirely dependent on the validation and attention of others. Though narcs may not value what everyone thinks, if you’re particularly close to them or they think you’re on the same level as them or higher, your opinion on them and reaction to them will completely change how they feel about themselves. This is one of Jake's key features to who he is, as it seems with every single interaction he has, he is in constant chase of validation from others. We see him express high amounts of shame over himself when he feels like he doesn’t do something right, such as when his friendships were heavily strained because of him. This leads to assumptions of how other people think of him, and of himself.

Like pw/NPD, he also gets sudden, strong ego boosts when perceiving validation and approval:

But can also immediately crash when people question his worth, which vriska does right after.

Also like to add, he also experiences power struggles with people he thinks aren’t as ‘good’ as him. In Jakes way, this hierarchy manifests most on morality and judgement. Though he ultimately dislikes Caliborn, he accepts Caliborn's promise of making him a better person as he sells it to Jake that it’s in his best interests, but still takes any chance he can get to kick down Caliborn a notch to get him back for insulting him and his friends rather than being subservient.

Jake is very impressionistic to get what he wants.

Jake talks in a really unique way against the other kids, in a way that's more impressionistic and vague in order to be liked. He follows the beat of others drums in his own way to seem likable, slightly changing the way he talks to different friends he has so they will like him more and he can feel more accomplished. This is nothing new that Jake does this to a point of almost seeming like he is constantly a part of a script of a movie. This is also the thing many people point to when talking about Jake’s unintentional ( or maybe arguably intentional ) manipulation.

Even with the relationships he makes, he tends to go with the flow on what others want to make of him, thinking their happiness and approval they’ll express will be exactly what he needs, without thinking too far on the relationship and emotions itself.

Jake is highly involved in himself without realizing it.

Jake, In many early conversations gets called a douche or an asshole  for how he carries himself through conversation. In many conversations. He can be almost insufferable with the way he talks about himself forever or tries to make other peoples topics about himself. A huge misconception is that narcissists know what they’re doing and they make everything about them because they only care about themselves, which really isn’t true. Jake cares about his friends, and doesn’t really fully realize when he starts focusing on himself during conversation. However, He’s labelled as a douche and creates many problems he doesn’t intentionally want to cause because of it, later being considered an idiot because he doesn’t actually realize how self centered he can come across.

Jake is highly interested in fantastic views of himself.

Jake is highly involved in wanting to be the hero and get the girl. His view of masculinity is completely warped by the ideas he saw on screen, and this has led him to fantasize about himself being the hero, getting the girl, and being liked. Narcs heavily rely on fantasy and daydreaming about themselves and their own goals as a way of ego regulation and comfort, also shaping their identity with it. Anything a narcissist finds cool? You better know they’re going to want to embody it. We can see this attitude early in his introduction, fantasizing about kissing his ultimate fictional crush, and thinking of himself as way more active and adventurous than he actually is. He also actively finds comfort in fantasizing about these things.

Though this doesn’t fit super tight into this section, Jake also feels as though he is special, indicating that he doesn’t think anyone would really understand him. This isn’t in the way he thinks he is better than everyone, but in a way that isolates him and can only be understood by certain people, such as caliborn, who is also self centered but, unlike jake, disregards and exploits others very overtly, which is why they don’t get along too well in the end.

Jake has problems with affective empathy.

Something really important to know is that empathy, sympathy, and compassion are different things.  Empathy is feeling what another person is feeling, Sympathy is feeling bad for someone's predicament, and Compassion is actively helping someone in their situation. With NPD, affective empathy is strained while logical empathy isn’t. Affective empathy means accurately feeling what another person is feeling. This means feeling the same sadness someone feels. While logical empathy is not feeling the emotion, but logically understanding the reaction the person is having.

Jake, time and time again, shows very limited empathy for his friends, and doesn’t really think about how they feel. While this is exceedingly obvious when him and Jane have a whole argument while Jane is setting up her birthday, this is also obvious in other situations.

Here, Dirk is surrounded by fire, yet Jake doesn’t really wonder how Dirk himself is feeling, only wondering on how to act as fast as he can, which is more compassionate without empathy.

Though, of course he was probably just panicking too much, which is fair. This is another example, where Erisolsprite is clearly upset with the way Jake has been handling his relationship and finds it draining to everyone including himself, but Jake takes it more personally without considering why he said this in the first place:

You can kind of see the jist here. Characters such as Roxy show way more concern or interest in others' wellbeing. Not that Jake doesn’t, but when he does he usually takes it personally, applying  how the news effects himself first than about the other person, and relies more on being compassionate without really thinking it through. He does experience logical empathy though, seen with roxy, where after it being explained to him realizes that what he said is slightly inconsiderate at the strength of emotions over this topic:

I didn’t provide many examples here because I was rushing but I could go on. This, at the very least, would make him meet the criteria for Narcissistic personality disorder.  Other traits I would’ve liked to touch on was his strong envy over others, but this trait is rather mild against the others. Though, It’s worth quickly pointing it out.

Reading Jake from this lens is rather interesting and just thought to talk about it a bit.