#Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise
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even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise--
--as Victor Hugo didn't actually say.
The Winter 2025 Bishop Myriel Fundraiser is now open. This year will be dedicated to immigrants, many of whom are languishing in private prisons whose stock just went way, way up.
Our goal this year is at least 25 auction items and over $1000 in funds raised. If you've never participated before, this is your year. DM if you would like to participate but need advice!
Get your fic, art, books, crafts, costumes, and other offers ready. You can submit them according to the rules under the cut, and bidding on each item will start as soon as it is posted. Bidding in REPLIES, NOT REBLOGS, will continue through the end of December 21st, the darkest night of the year.
The recommended places to donate this year are: 1) RAICES Texas, an immigration-focused group which freed more than 2,000 people from immigration detention over the years. They fought to reunify families when children were ripped from their parents' arms during the first Trump administration, and have now pivoted to using funds to provide legal support for the detained, while continuing to pay bonds for those clients.
2) Annunciation House, a shelter serving immigrants. Run by Catholics in Texas who open their doors to the stranger without asking to see their papers, this year they faced down a vicious attempt by the Texas government to shut them down as a "stash house." The attorney general claimed in court that they followed "a more Bohemian set of ‘seven commandments,’ including commandments to ‘visit’ people when ‘incarcerated’ and ‘care (for them) when they’re sick.'” What could be more in the spirit of this fundraiser's namesake, Bishop Myriel? If you are not in the US and/or find it difficult to donate via those pages and/or want to support a particular organization doing good work to assist immigrants that's not listed above, please feel free to select another organization. From groups funding rescue ships in the Mediterranean to those supporting refugees stuck in camps around the world, there is a lot of good work to be done.
Rules for submitting your offers and bidding on them under the cut
Rules
1. Offering
SUBMIT your offering post to this blog! Include a link to this rules post in your own post, and also a minimum starting offer for your item, which can be a fic, art, or a physical item--be creative! Your offer does NOT have to be connected to the Les Misérables fandom, although such items are always welcome! Any terms and conditions of your offer should also be included in the post, eg what fandoms you are wiling to write for, any hard no’s on content, etc. Offer posts can keep coming in through the SUBMIT button until the auction closes.
2. Bidding
Bidding on each item opens as it is posted. Only bid on items tagged #Winter25. There will also be a masterpost to help distinguish this year's items from last years. Bid in REPLIES NOT REBLOGS (this is important because replies enable me to figure out who bid when and avoid conflicts) until 11:59PM Eastern Time December 21st, 2024. The highest bidder at that time will be the winner. Bidding can start as each item is posted.
3. Claiming or delivering your item
Please do not donate your bid until I have contacted you to inform you that you won the item!
If you have won an item, I will contact you directly via DM and ask you to provide a receipt or other verification for a donation to an immigration organization in the amount bid. This DM may come from either @bishopmyrielfundraiser or my main blog @lifeisyetfair. After you have made your donation, send such the receipt or verification [email protected] or in a screenshot on Tumblr. Make sure the proof contains the amount you donated!
AFTER I have verified your donation, I will contact the offerer to let them know they can deliver the item. If you do not respond at all to my attempts to contact you within one week, I will move on to the next highest bidder. So check your DMs.
4. Sending the item you offered
All items should be delivered by March 31st, 2025 at the absolute latest, unless you have made other arrangements, eg the custom item/fic takes longer than that to create or write and you communicate about this. Earlier is even better, but remember that the most important thing is to keep the winner informed and make sure everyone has a good time.
#bishop myriel fundraisers#bishopmyrielfrundraiser#les miserables#fandom auction#winter25#auction rules#immigration#refugees#freedom#resistance#bishop myriel#jean valjean#enjolras#okay i'm running out of tags#let's go
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He will try. He will fail.
Failure will never have been so beautiful!
Not to be dramatic but he would fix America
#Though#For real#No failure is wasted#His spirit will always haunt the narrative#He is here among us#We do this until we free us#Sometimes it helps to have literature's most marble twink floating out front so my R-coded ass will keep getting back up and into the fray#Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise
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i consider myself a fairly calm person but seeing les mis (musical) lyrics attributed to victor hugo makes me want to commit multiple violent crimes
#if i see ONE MORE FUCKING “'even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise' -victor hugo” i'm going to. i'm.#he didn't say that he didn't say that he didn't say that he didn't sAY THAT#obviously this doesn't apply to the lyrics in the french musical that paraphrase actual les mis (book) lines but like#no one's making pinterest quotes from lorsqu'en ajoutant votre age a mon age#les mis#les miserables
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🎶 (idk if I have the right emoji but lyric plz :))
night has always pushed up day
you must know life to see decay
Mumford & Sons - After the Storm
~
send me a 🎵 and I’ll write a lyric from a random song
#this song has always been sooooo fucking important to me#this always reminded me of the les Mis line ‘even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise’#ask elliot#fun stuff
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My suggestion:
Name: The Light
Image: A streetlight standing alone, illuminating the night with a pale yellow glow
Summary: Optimism, joy, resilience
In Depth: You may be at a dark point in your life, but know that darkness is not what your life has become. You have a lot to live for, so look at the good, look at the light amidst the darkness.
Had a dream that a mysterious figure presented me with an oracle deck and asked me to pick a card. They didn't come with descriptions but my dream brain automatically knew the meanings of each card I looked at. These were some of the options I remember and now I'm trying to come up with more and maybe turn it into a real deck. Any ideas?
#this is a super cool thing#i wish i had this dream lol#tarot reincarnated#even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise#light#dream#reblog
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i want another les mis tattoo...
#les mis#idk i have lots of options#i could do a classic like “24601” or ��even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise” or something#i kinda want to get “chapter iv. a rose in misery” on my wrist or something#cover up my scars with the blorbos lmao#listen one of my friends has all of seven nation army on her shoulder let me have this one
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Lightening McQueen: What do we do?
Victor Hugo: It's very simple, you blow up.
#even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise -Mater#victor hugo#incorrect quotes#sorry this is living in my mind
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hey, rlly enjoying your works recently esp the kinich ones! can i request what multiple genshin characters (kinich, kazuha, scara and you can do more but id prefer a longer one for each char rather than small little ones if okay!) would fight us about and how they would resolve the argument? thanks <3
Healing After the Storm
A/n: I'm so sorry for the late reply Mars anon! I was supposed to do this last night but I fell asleep so I had to rush doing it once I woke up ╥﹏╥
Genre: Canon Verse, Angst w/ a happy ending, Gn! Reader, Some of the chars might be ooc, Scara is called Wanderer, Second Person, Proofread
Chars: Kinich, Kazuha, Wanderer (Scara), Xiao
Summary: After a heated argument, tension rises between you and him, leaving you both feeling distant and unsure. Harsh words are exchanged, but in the aftermath, he takes time to reflect, realizing the pain he’s caused. Whether through small, meaningful gestures or quiet apologies, he finds a way to reach out and make amends.
Kinich:
• The Argument: You stood there, voice trembling with frustration as you confronted Kinich. “It feels like I’m always second to everything else in your life!” Your words hung in the air, sharp and cutting. He responded defensively, and soon, you were both saying things you didn’t mean.
• Post-Argument: After the argument, Kinich would retreat for a bit, giving you both some space. He’s always been level-headed, but this time, guilt weighs heavily on him. He realizes he took you for granted, and his regret eats at him.
• Resolution: Kinich approaches you with a quiet but serious demeanor, kneeling in front of you as he places his hand on yours. “I never meant to make you feel unimportant. You’re everything to me,” he’d say, his voice soft but earnest. He’d take you somewhere meaningful, perhaps to watch the sunset, a reminder of shared peace and beauty. “I’m sorry I lost sight of what truly matters.”
You sat alone by the shoreline, the soft crash of the waves doing little to soothe the ache in your chest. It had been hours since your argument with Kinich, and though the sun had begun to set, the sting of his words still lingered.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of familiar footsteps approaching. Kinich stood a few feet behind you, his usual confident posture softened. He didn’t say anything at first, simply sitting down beside you, his presence comforting despite the silence.
“I’ve been a fool,” he began, his voice gentle, almost carried away by the breeze. “I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”
You glanced at him, still unsure, but his eyes held an earnestness that was hard to ignore. He reached for your hand, his fingers brushing yours lightly before you allowed him to hold it fully.
“I’ve been so focused on everything else, I forgot to make you feel... important.” He looked at the setting sun, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of your hand. “But you are. More than anything else.”
You felt the tension in your chest ease as you leaned against him, the warmth of his body grounding you. “I just...want to know where I stand with you.”
Kinich tilted his head to rest against yours. “You stand beside me. Always. I’m sorry I made you doubt that.”
The two of you watched the sun dip below the horizon, the soft glow of twilight settling around you—a reminder that even after the darkest moments, there was always light.
Kazuha:
• The Argument: “It feels like I’m the only one invested in this relationship sometimes!” you had exclaimed, frustration bubbling over. Kazuha’s usual calm demeanor had cracked, and for once, he had responded with a coldness that took you by surprise.
• Post-Argument: After the tension, Kazuha would spend time alone, thinking about his words and the weight of his silence. The guilt of hurting someone so dear weighs him down as he reflects on his feelings during a peaceful stroll.
• Resolution: Kazuha would find you in a serene spot, like a quiet forest or near a gentle river. He’d offer a soft apology, bringing with him a small poem he wrote, describing his thoughts about you. “I’ve always been a drifter,” he’d say, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want an anchor. And you...you’re my home.” His voice, though calm, is filled with sincerity as he gently takes your hand. “I’m sorry for my silence. I promise i’ll do better.”
The rustling of leaves and the distant call of a bird filled the otherwise quiet forest where you sat, alone with your thoughts. The argument with Kazuha replayed in your mind, his unusually harsh words cutting deeper than you'd expected. It wasn’t like him to lose his temper, and yet...
You heard soft footsteps approach, and soon enough, Kazuha appeared in the clearing, his expression apologetic, yet calm. He moved gracefully to sit beside you, keeping a respectful distance.
“I’ve hurt you,” he said simply, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out a small piece of paper. “I wrote something...I hope it can explain what I couldn’t in the heat of the moment.”
He unfolded the paper, his eyes tracing the words before handing it to you. It was a short poem, one that spoke of wandering hearts and anchors, of finding solace in stillness amidst chaos. As you read, your heart softened, the weight of your earlier argument beginning to lift.
“I’m not good with staying in one place,” Kazuha murmured, “but that doesn’t mean I want to drift away from you.”
You turned to him, meeting his gaze. His eyes were soft, filled with regret but also with the same quiet intensity that had drawn you to him in the first place.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice as gentle as the breeze that rustled through the trees. “I want us to understand each other better...I’ll stay, if that’s what you need.”
You leaned into him, letting his calm presence wash over you. “Just don’t leave me behind,” you whispered.
“I won’t,” Kazuha promised, pulling you close.
Wanderer (Scara):
• The Argument: “You don’t care about anyone or anything but yourself!” you had shouted, your voice trembling with emotion. Wanderer’s retort had been sharp, cutting, and dripping with venom. “Maybe I don’t,” he had spat back, pushing you away with words that stung more than any physical blow.
• Post-Argument: Wanderer would storm off, cursing under his breath, but it wouldn’t take long for the sting of his own words to settle in. He’s stubborn, but deep down, he’s aware he hurt you more than he should have.
• Resolution: Wanderer wouldn’t be the type to apologize outright at first. He’d grumble and act aloof, but eventually, he’d show up with a small, thoughtful gift—something that has meaning between the two of you, like a trinket from a place you once visited together. “I...didn’t mean half of what I said,” he mutters, avoiding eye contact. Then, after a beat, he’d finally look at you, his eyes softer than before. “I’m sorry. I hate how easy it is for me to hurt the ones I care about, although i’ll try to stop pushing you away.” His sincerity would shine through in the quiet moments after.
The room was cold, the silence heavy after your argument with Wanderer. You had retreated to your room, tears stinging your eyes as his cruel words echoed in your mind. How could he say such things? After everything you’d been through together?
Hours passed, and you didn’t expect him to come back. So when a soft knock echoed from the door, you were surprised.
Wanderer stepped in, awkwardly holding something behind his back. He didn’t meet your gaze at first, his expression guarded, almost embarrassed. With a sigh, he pulled a small, familiar trinket from behind his back—something you had once admired on a trip together.
“I, uh...I got this for you,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. “I thought... maybe...it would help.”
You stared at him, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t the grand apology you had expected, but the fact that he was standing there, trying in his own way, meant more than you realized.
Wanderer finally looked at you, his eyes softening. “I didn’t mean what I said...I hate how easy it is for me to hurt you. But I don’t want to...push you away.”
You took the trinket from his hands, your fingers brushing his. “Why do you always do this?” you whispered “Why do you make it so hard?”
He hesitated, his pride warring with his emotions. “I’m...scared,” he admitted quietly. “Scared of being close to anyone. But I don’t want to lose you.”
You closed the distance between you, pulling him into a hesitant hug. At first, he stiffened, but soon, his arms wrapped around you tightly, as if afraid you’d slip away. “I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “I’ll try...to be better. For you.”
Xiao:
• The Argument: Xiao had lashed out at you, his usual stoicism cracking under the weight of his frustration. “I can’t be what you need!” he had shouted, his golden eyes burning with a mix of fear and anger. His harsh words had left you reeling, unsure of how to respond to someone so difficult to reach.
• Post-Argument: Xiao would disappear, guilt settling into his bones. He’d watch you from afar, conflicted, wondering how he could fix the mess he made. His thoughts would be filled with regret, realizing how much his words hurt you, even if it wasn’t his intention.
• Resolution: Xiao wouldn’t approach you right away. He’d need time to figure out what to say. When he does finally show up, it’s always sudden, like a silent breeze at night. “I’m... sorry,” he’d say, his voice stiff but genuine. “I don’t know how to handle these things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.” He’d look at you, his golden eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them. “I’ll try to understand...for you. Please, don’t leave me.” His vulnerability would be apparent as he reaches for your hand.
You sat on the balcony, staring at the stars, the ache from your argument with Xiao still fresh in your chest. You knew he didn’t mean to hurt you, but that didn’t make his words sting any less.
A soft rustling behind you caught your attention, and you turned to see Xiao, standing awkwardly near the railing. His usual reserved demeanor was present, but there was something different in his eyes—something...softer.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. He stayed at a distance, almost afraid to get closer. “I... didn’t mean what I said.”
You looked at him, surprise flickering through your expression. “Xiao...”
He took a tentative step forward, his gaze never leaving yours. “I don’t understand emotions like you do...but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.” His voice cracked slightly, betraying the vulnerability he rarely showed. “I care about you.”
Your heart softened at his words, the tension easing from your shoulders. Slowly, you stood up, closing the distance between you. “I never asked you to be perfect, Xiao...just to try.”
He nodded, his hand reaching out to take yours hesitantly, his touch light but sincere. “I’ll try...for you.”
With that, you pulled him into a gentle embrace, feeling the weight of his presence against yours. For once, he didn’t pull away.
A/n: Im so sorry if this was short I had to rush making this so I can start on the other 2 requests(;へ:)
© ²⁰²⁴ ɪᴏᴍᴏʀᴜ ✰ do not repost, translate, plagiarize, use to train ai, or share my work on other social media platforms.
#iomoruツ#iomorurequestsツ#iomoruwritingsツ#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#genshin x y/n#genshin x you#genshin fluff#genshin angst#kinich x reader#kinich x you#kinich fluff#kaedehara kazuha x reader#kazuha kaedehara x reader#kazuha x reader#kazuha fluff#wanderer x reader#wanderer fluff#scara x reader#scaramouche fluff#xiao x reader#xiao fluff#kinich angst#kazuha angst#scaramouche angst#xiao angst#angst with a happy ending
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I'm having a lot of thoughts that other people will probably say much more succinctly, elegantly, humorously. But they're worth saying.
They may have won an election. They haven't won you. Scared , angry, stupid people cannot turn back the clock to a time that never existed and they can't put the wimmin and the queers and the [slurs redacted] back into Pandora's box.
Grieve. Scream cry throw up, stay in bed for a day, burn some shit.
But fuck em. Don't let them win you.
Find your community, hold on tight, be safe. Be. Exist as hard as you can. Because fuck em, because you are not alone, because even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
Please.
#us current events#election 2024#just keep swimming#take care of yourselves as best you can#pock posts a thing
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At the end of the night
~ Azriel X Fem Illyrian!Reader
Based on this request
Summary: They say you never forget your first love. So how could Azriel move on when you were never far from his mind?
Warnings: Gross men, intoxication, injury, blood, talks of wing clipping, talks of Azriel’s past, smut 18+ mdni (p in v), angst, fluff, the whole shebang.
Word count: 8.7k
'Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much that he dies every night to let her breathe, and in return, she reflects his love.'
The hour was late.
Far too late for a young woman such as yourself to be walking through the shadowed streets of Windhaven unaccompanied. The waning moon lost amongst the clouds as you moved under the cover of darkness.
You had no true destination in mind. Rather, your aimless wandering was done on account of you trying to pass the hours until you were able to return home once more. The lurking dangers of Windhaven appeared much more appealing than whatever bacchic activities were currently taking place at your home.
Night becoming your only friend as you spent all your time within its company.
It was now common practice, keeping yourself occupied whilst your father drank himself to oblivion alongside his barbarous friends. Your home no longer habitable, as with each day that passed it began to resemble a dreary tavern more and more.
Yet the streets themselves were just as an unpleasant place to be.
Even in the darkest hours of the night, the camp was still teeming with life. From lousy drunkards to irreputable whores, it seemed as though everybody was searching for some relief tonight. All seeking an escape from what was the hellish day-to-day of Windhaven.
It was therefore no surprise that your presence didn’t go unnoticed as you worked your way through the miserable throng. The sight of a young woman such as yourself, alone and unaccompanied during the midnight hours, was enough to capture the unwanted attention of a nearby group of intoxicated Illyrians.
They moved quickly.
One moment laughing amongst themselves as they stumbled along the uneven paving, and the next, they had you surrounded. Eyes ravenous and smiles sinister, they approached like a predator closing in on its prey.
The male closest to you hungrily trailed his tongue across his lips, taking a sweeping glance of your tense form before speaking, “Not lost are you sweetheart?”
The putrid scent of his foul breath was enough to make your wings curl in distaste, nose twitching with disgust as you replied curtly, “No, I’m just looking for my friend that’s all.”
You attempted to sidestep the male in order to continue on you way. Having provided them the false knowledge that someone was waiting for you, you hoped that would be enough to keep the group of inebriated males at bay.
Yet luck was not on your side tonight.
The firm grip of a calloused hand shooting out to meet your arm as the male who first spoke held you in place. “A friend?” he scoffed, knowing smile growing across his face as he made a show of checking his surroundings, lips pouting with faux disappointment as his eyes turned back to you, “I don’t see any friends.”
“Hence the looking” you spat, tearing your arm from his tight grasp as your wild eyes fluttered about in search of an exit route between the ever-nearing group of males.
Dauntingly, the largest of the warriors took a slow step towards you, wicked features half-lost to the shadows as he approached.
“You don’t need to lie sweetheart” he simpered, attempting to bring his hand to rest on your shoulder as you stumbled away from his touch. Flaring your wings in an attempt to appear more intimidating. But your action meant nothing to the male who continued to advance, “We’ll keep you company darling. What kind of gentlemen would we be if we left a pretty girl like you all alone in a place like this?”
Words lost to the rising panic growing in your chest, your gaze continued to fly around in desperation. Begging stare lost upon the disinterested faces of the passer-byers who wanted no part in the troublesome scene brewing.
In one final act of hope, you raised your fists. Ready to make a stand as you ignored the shaking of your wings and trembling of your knees. Yet your courage was wasted, sadistic laughs spilling from their lips as the males continued to move in closer, unphased by your valiant act of bravery.
But then darkness approached.
Lanterns extinguishing as the shadows crawled in.
With the light gone, the menacing grins plastered on your tormentors faces dropped, bodies tense as the dark silhouette of foreboding wings slowly crept towards them. Braced to flee as the stranger began to speak with a deadly air of calm.
“She’s not alone, she’s with me.”
~~~
You’d never had a friend before.
Windhaven had always been a place of strained alliances and disgruntled kinship. It was the last location you’d expect to see anything beautiful bloom amongst the weeds.
And yet, ever since that fateful day when the shadowsinger had swooped in to rescue you before delivering you safely home, you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that perhaps the two of you were meant to be more than amicable acquaintances.
Azriel must have shared that feeling. The male having come to find you the next day, and the day after that. Which is why it was no surprise that it didn’t take long for the two of you to become inseparable.
Those somber nights spent walking around the camp with only yourself for company were now far behind you. Rather, the young male sought you out at the end of each workday, whisking you away from your home before your father had even the chance to pick up a bottle.
It was during these nights, where the two of you would sit and talk for hours. Your conversation acting as an escape from the cruel reality of your lives. Each story told and laugh shared working to make the pair of you forget exactly what was waiting for you back at the camp.
Sometimes, the two of you didn’t even talk at all. Simply being within each other’s presence was soon enough for the two of you to be content. You never thought about your troubled father or uncertain future when you were with Azriel, you didn’t need to.
Not when being with him made you forget.
Therefore, it was no wonder that between your riveting conversations and lingering touches, you found yourself pondering exactly what your relationship with Azriel was.
That perhaps the feeling which had sparked inside of you upon your first meeting wasn’t just the need for friendship, but the desire for something greater.
And so for the first time in your life, you allowed yourself to dream.
~~~
Cassian’s frenzied appearance at your door was the last thing you had expected to see in the early hours of the morning. His chest heaving with the effort of catching his breath long enough to be able to get the words out.
“It’s. Az.”
He needn’t say another word, your feet already working to carry you away from your home as Cassian’s exhausted voice called out from behind, “The training rings, he’s at the training rings!”
You ran, feet aching and heart pounding, until you finally reached your destination. Feet dragging to a halt as your wide eyes witnessed the spine-chilling scene before you.
A bloodied Azriel, eye swollen and jaw bruised, was being torn from an equally mutilated male. Eyes savage and tongue bitter as he continued to shout unintelligible nonsense at the grounded Illyrian. Rhysand’s face turning red with the effort it was taking to restrain his hysterical friend.
“Az?” you uttered lowly, mouth parting in disbelief as you took in his manic state. Heart plunging as your eyes dropped to the weeping cuts on his blood-stained fists.
Ears pricking at your voice, Azriel’s head snapped towards you, body slacking in Rhysand’s hold as he noticed your arrival. Dark brows knitting together in shame as he shrank under your disappointed stare.
Mustering the strength to pull himself from Rhysand’s crushing grip, Azriel broke away from his friend. Casting one last lethal look towards the crumpled warrior at his feet before stalking away. Walking straight past you without so much as a glance in your direction.
“Males” you huffed with a shake of your head, struggling to tear your gaze from the macabre scene before you in order to chase after your friend.
It didn’t take you long to find him.
Azriel having predictably fled to the spot where you spent most of your time together. Retreating to the small clearing tucked deep within the forest surrounding Windhaven. No doubt needing a space far from prying eyes to clear his tempestuous thoughts.
You made to clear your throat as you approached, cautious not to startle an adrenaline-spiked Illyrian. Yet Azriel beat you to it.
“I’m not going to apologize” his gravelly voice cut through the silence of your surroundings, hazel eyes failing to meet your own as you closed the distance between you, “that bastard got what was coming to him.”
Lowering yourself to the leaf-littered ground in order to sit by his side, you took a deep breath before moving to rest your head against his tense shoulder. A soft sigh escaping from your lips before you spoke, “Are you alright? . . . Your hands -”
“Have seen worse” Azriel replied, lips twitching with the bare-bones of a smile in response to your concern, “I’m fine, truly.”
Yet his harrowed eyes told you otherwise.
Azriel’s gaze cold and absent as he stared at the forest floor.
“Why?” you simply asked, face a picture of confusion as you tried to make sense of what could have been said to elicit such a reaction from the shadowsinger.
“You wouldn’t understand” he said dismissively, shrugging as he started to pick at the laces of his boots in avoidance.
“Try me” you answered, hand moving to stop his anxious action, pulling his own into your lap to assess the damage that had been done. Hoping that if your eyes were occupied elsewhere, the male might find it easier to speak.
An hour may have passed, or perhaps only minutes, yet when Azriel finally spoke his voice commanded your attention, “He said I was unworthy of being an Illyrian.”
“That’s it?” you question, brows drawing together as you failed to understand how Azriel would let some simple little remark get under his skin in the way it had, “That’s all he said?”
Azriel released a shaky sigh, knuckles turning white underneath the caked blood as he elaborated. “I didn’t -” Azriel paused to allow a harsh exhale, “I didn’t grow up Illyrian.”
You were unable to stop the way in which your eyes left Azriel’s hand in order to flicker to his face in surprise. He had never spoken about his past before. You had always surmised that it wasn’t pretty, his scars had told you that much. But for the sake of his privacy you had never pressed him further.
Yet here he was, offering you a piece of his dark and twisted past.
“I spent most of my childhood in a cage. I couldn’t train, or fly. I didn't even have the luxury of space to spread my wings. And then . . .”
Your grip on Azriel's hand tightens as he struggled to find the words, your consoling touch giving him the strength he needed to continue, “And then my brothers thought it would be funny to test the true extent of an Illyrian’s healing gifts.”
The frigid nature of his fingers in your palm told you all you needed to know about that. Heart sinking and nausea growing as your gaze fell to the scarred contours of his hands, sickened that anyone would do that to a child – to their family.
“Then I was dumped here. Wings weak and hands frail," Azriel's frown of anger morphing into one of shame as he spoke, "and I felt . . . Useless. Eleven years old and I already knew that I was a lesser Illyrian than everybody else. All because I was never even given a chance at life.”
You wanted to speak, to comfort the male and tell him that he wasn’t the same little boy who had found himself stranded in Windhaven all those years ago, yet Azriel’s sharp inhale told you he wasn’t quite done.
“I could barely even hold a sword at training. It took years for my tendons to grow used to the strain. Even now I still have days where I struggle to even move them. . . But I worked too damn hard for anyone to tell me that I am any less of an Illyrian than they are.”
Azriel’s eyes were now swimming with tears, the male sniffling slightly as he finished what he had to say, “And when he told me that today . . . I was back to being that scared eleven-year-old boy with no friends. And I just felt worthless.”
"Never be ashamed of the things that make us” you reason, thumb moving to lightly caress the back of his scarred hand, "That's what determines a person's worth. Not their skill or ability. . . It's how hard a person fights to survive that tells you the most about them."
The shame washes from Azriel’s face, colour returning to his cheeks at your words. Soon your eyes were watering alongside his own as you gently brought your hand to meet the curve of his cheek, a soft smile gracing your lips as you spoke, “You’re not alone Az. Not anymore. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and I won’t allow you to think you’re any less than that.”
Azriel stills, the tension in his shoulders easing as his grateful eyes moved to meet your own, "How is it. . . that you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better?"
You blush at the intensity of his thankful stare, ears burning red as you attempted to casually shrug away the male’s question, "Call it intuition."
Seeking to shift the male's attention from yourself, you hopped to your feet. Dusting yourself off as you offered out your hand for Azriel to take, "Come on trouble, let's go get you fixed up. I don't really think red is your colour."
And as the two of you walked back to camp, Azriel’s face now sore and aching as the adrenaline ebbed away, he wondered if he would ever have the courage to tell you that it wasn't being an Illyrian he was called unworthy of, but your love.
~~~
Spring had finally arrived at Windhaven.
The harsh conditions of winter had subsided, and the once icy camp had now thawed enough to reveal the frozen ground beneath. The shoots of new life, which had managed to outlast the chill of the dark months, now sprang forth in order to grow.
And for the Illyrian recruits, the changing of the seasons could only mean one thing.
The Blood Rite would soon commence.
All of Azriel's time had been given over to preparing for the upcoming ceremony. Hour after hour being spent in the training ring, perfecting his form, and building his strength. Whatever fleeting time you were able to have together was spent planning strategies and developing his survival skills.
You didn't mind, any time spent with Azriel was time well spent. You could even say that it was nice, witnessing the male in his element. The determination which coursed through his eyes whenever he spoke of the Blood Rite was enough to bring a proud smile to your lips.
Yet as the start of the ceremony loomed ever closer, you found yourself worrying more and more about Azriel’s well-being.
It’s not that you didn’t trust Azriel’s skill, but rather the fact that you didn’t trust the other males who would no doubt take great pleasure in besting the notorious shadowsinger.
Their leering sneers told you enough; Azriel was going to have to watch his back if he was planning on making it to Ramiel in one piece.
You did the best you could to help him, acquiring special ointments to massage into his aching hands with the hope of soothing his muscles for when the time came that he'd need to use his sword. You'd even taken to slipping various forms of mild poison into the food of the other males, praying that the toxins would keep their strength at bay long enough for Azriel to succeed.
But no amount of preparation worked to ease your anxiety as the day finally arrived. Your brow creased with worry as you stood in the square where the novice-warriors were beginning to gather, patiently waiting for Azriel to arrive in order to bid him farewell.
His confident smile, one of which he had no doubt worn for you, did nothing to sate your rising panic as he approached. Not even the soothing warmth of his comforting embrace brought you any joy. Rather, the action managed to bring tears to your eyes as you looked up to your friend in hapless despair, "Aren't I the one who's supposed to be doing the comforting?"
"You being here is enough for that" Azriel said lowly, hazel eyes squeezed tightly closed as he did his best to commit the feel of your body in his arms to memory. Not letting you part from his crushing hold until the camp leader had shouted the call for them to make their leave.
"Be safe" you choked through your tears as Azriel pulled away. His faux smile long forgotten as his expression turned into one of worry. Whether it was worry for your well-being or his own safety in the coming week, you did not know.
Azriel placed a parting kiss onto your forehead, hand lightly brushing against yours before he reluctantly began to walk away. "Always" he answered, hazel eyes never straying from you as he made his exit.
"Goodbye!" you called out after him, attempting to stretch an encouraging smile across your lips for his sake, your hand waving wildly as Azriel lifted his own to do the same. But then all of a sudden he stopped, body stiffening as though he had been struck by lightning.
Face drawn blank as he stared back at you.
"Az, what? -"
It took five steps for him to close the distance between you. Five swift steps for you to take in his dark, feral eyes. Five steps to wonder exactly what he was doing before his lips fell onto yours.
You had imagined this, the feel of his lips against yours, his tender hands wrapped around your curves as Azriel pulled you in closer.
But no dream could ever compare to the real thing.
To the feel of Azriel's soft lips molding against your own like they were made for each other. The heated desperation of the kiss working to steal your breath and weaken your knees. Each passionate swipe of his tongue and the salacious tug of your lip between his teeth, working to tell you everything that had until this moment remained unspoken.
And yet it was over all too soon.
Azriel pulling away upon the final call from his superiors, a heated breath of relief escaping from his swollen lips as he pulled away from you for the last time.
Finally turning to face his future, Azriel uttered, "No goodbyes."
This time when Azriel walked away, you allowed yourself to truly smile, eyes full of love as you enthusiastically waved goodbye until he was well out of sight.
The tears that fell, now ones of happiness as you watched the male head towards what he had worked so hard for. Heart full as you knew you needn't to be worried any longer.
Not when you knew Azriel had something worth fighting for – someone worth fighting for.
You.
Yet that feeling didn't last for long, all thoughts pulled from the shadowsinger as a heavy hand fell onto your shoulder.
Alarmed eyes shooting to the perpetrator, widening further still as they fell onto the gaunt face of your father. Eyes hollow and lips downturned as he ominously warned, "It's time girl."
~~~
It was dark when Azriel returned.
Having emerged from the rite victorious, the fortunate victors now arrived back into Windhaven to celebrate. Grins stretched across their lips as they walked towards the blazing fire where the rest of their evening was to be spent in merry enjoyment.
Yet there was no smile on the shadowsinger's face, not as he craned his neck to look past the crowd of well-wishers. Shadows aiding in his hunt by swimming through the pools of surrounding people, searching for the one face their master so longed to see.
Hoping to see the familiar smile which had carried him through the trials.
He needn't search far.
The sound of hurried footsteps filling his ears before a body collided with his own. His arms instinctively wrapping around your waist in order to pull you in closer, nose settling into the crook of your neck as he inhaled your sweet scent for the first time in a week.
"Gods, I missed you" he cried hoarsely, pulling back from the hug so as to be able to see your face again. Beaming as he brought a hand to cup your cheek, failing to notice the way in which your smile didn't quite meet your eyes. Adrenaline still rampant in his veins from the rite, Azriel wasted no time in bringing his lips to meet your own.
Where your first kiss had been rushed and desperate, this was one was slower, softer. Azriel taking his time with sweeping his lips over yours, savoring the moment in which you began to kiss him back. His worn hands working to slowly explore the length of your body as your lips danced together.
"Do you want to get out of here?" you whispered against his lips; words being met with the pearlescent grin of the shadowsinger.
Providing you with no answer, Azriel grabbed onto your hand before eagerly tugging you in the direction of his home. Too lost within his lovestruck haze to notice your unbalanced stumbles as you breathlessly trailed behind him.
"Az, where are you going? I thought we were going to celebrate!" Cassian's voice yelled after his retreating figure. Rhysand grabbed onto his brother's arm as he tugged him in the direction of the fire, a knowing smirk upon his lips as he answered, "I think he is celebrating Cas."
You were a flurry of limbs and giggles as you entered Azriel's home. Lips finding each other's once more as the pair of you became lost to your primal urges. The overwhelming need to be close to one another after only a week apart was almost too much to bear.
Sighs of intoxicated pleasure slipped from your mouth as Azriel began to trail his burning lips along the expanse of your neck. The male smirking as he slowly grazed his sharp teeth across your sensitive skin.
Needing more, Azriel moved to press your back against the wall in order to close the distance between you. Leaning in to seal your lips together once more until he was stopped by the painful cry which rang from your mouth.
It took seconds for the lust in the shadowsinger's dark eyes to fade.
Azriel's once sultry gaze growing panicked as his face contorted into a picture of horror. The amber glow of the faelight finally permissing him to see what the darkness of the night had hidden.
"Your wings!"
A shaky breath fell from Azriel's lips, hazel eyes swimming with tears as they raked over the scarred membrane of your clipped wings. Teeth bared as a low growl rumbled in his chest, "I'm going to kill him."
Fists trembling with rage, Azriel made to leave. Exhaustion after his trialing week long forgotten as the desire for revenge took an inescapable hold of him.
Yet your hands chased after him, holding onto Azriel's wrists in desperation as you looked up the male with begging eyes, "Stay. Please."
Shaking with the effort it was taking to stay put, Azriel sighed as he glances back to your wings. Jaw clenching as he cursed, "I should never have left."
Heart twinging at his self-placed blame, you pulled your lips into a sad smile, hand coming to rest against his quivering cheek, "You had to go Az, and I'm so proud of you for doing so."
A cry of protest slipped from his mouth, Azriel's eyes squeezing shut as he pressed his cheek further into your comforting hand. Voice breaking as he spoke, "They wouldn't have touched you if I was here."
"It was bound to happen eventually" you truthfully stated, "At least I was fortunate enough to keep mine, others aren't so lucky."
Azriel inhaled sharply, pulling you into a soft hug, careful not to disturb your fragile wings, "That doesn't make this any less right."
"No" you agreed, nuzzling deeper into Azriel's chest. His familiar scent a welcoming reminder that you were safe. No one could hurt you again, not whilst you were in Azriel’s arms. Content to stay in his embrace forever, you spoke, "But I have you, and that's all I need for now."
"I'll get you out of here" Azriel promised, loosening his hold on you just enough to allow his serious eyes to meet your own, "I don't know when. Or where we'll go. But I'll get you out. We’ll never have to see this damn camp again.”
"Together?" you asked, needing reassurance that you wouldn't have to face your uncertain future alone.
"Together" Azriel smiled.
~~~
"Stop peeking!" Azriel chided, unable to stop the smile of contentment which spread across his lips as you giggled at the sensation of his warm breath tickling the skin of your neck.
"I'm not!" you promised, chuckling as Azriel's palm moved to better cover your lightly closed eyes.
The shadowsinger hummed in disagreement, his free hand coming to curl around your stomach. Pulling you closer into his chest as he led you deeper into the forest.
"You're going to make me fall" you warned with a laugh, stumbling as Azriel's legs bumped against your own. The male's arms moving to hold you tighter still, soft lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "So long as you're in my arms, I will never let you fall."
Thankful that Azriel couldn't see your rising blush, you allowed him to walk you towards whatever surprise he had planned. Satisfied the shadowsinger would keep you safe, you tightly squeezed your eyes shut.
Putting your trust into the males loving hands.
You needn't walk much further, Azriel gently pulling you to a stop as the warmth of the evening breeze began to kiss your cheeks. The heat of the setting sun working to banish the chill that had settled in your bones as you moved through the shadowed forest.
"Ok angel," Azriel purred, the hand covering your face moving to your shoulder as he placed a swift kiss upon your temple, "take a look."
Your eyes fluttered open, squinting as the amber glow of the evening flooded into your vision. Heart pleasantly aching at the view that greeted you once your gaze came into focus.
"It's beautiful Az" you softly gasped, mouth parting in awe as you took in the picturesque scene before you. The slowly setting sun, inching ever closer towards the horizon. The ghostly silhouette of the towering mountains in the distance. The woolen blanket, carefully laid across the ground before you.
"It is" Azriel answered, tender eyes never leaving your delicate features.
Reluctantly tearing your gaze from the breathtaking view, you turned back to Azriel with a crease between your brows, "But why? . . . I've not forgotten something important have I?"
"No, not at all. I just wanted to do something nice for you" Azriel reassured. His hands moving to gently cup your cheeks in order to pull your loving eyes to meet his own. But you didn't fail to miss the rising pool of sadness which swam amongst his affectionate gaze.
"What is it?" you asked, your once peaceful expression now morphing into one of worry, "What's wrong?"
A low sigh fell from the male's lips, Azriel's forehead gingerly coming to rest against yours, "I've been given my orders, the High Lord asked for me himself. . . I am to leave tomorrow."
Your heart sank, mouth growing dry upon the realization that this would be your last night together for a while. But this was what Azriel had always dreamed of, having a purpose. Having worth. And so you would not allow yourself to be selfish and ruin that dream.
"T-that's great Az" you exclaimed, forcing a proud smile onto your lips, "You've worked so hard for this."
"But you-" Azriel contested, ever the selfless Illyrian.
"Will still be here when you return" you reassured him, moving to place a sweet kiss onto his forehead.
Azriel's eyes softly closed at your gesture, a shaky breath drawing from his lips before he quietly spoke, your heart aching at his solemn words, "I just wish we had more time."
"We have time now" you soothed, blinking away your tears before taking Azriel's hand into your own, gently pulling him towards the waiting blanket, "Let this night be our forever."
There, wrapped in Azriel's embrace, the two of you sat and talked as though you had all the time in the world. Because there, sat within the comfort of his arms, the fading amber of the setting sun before you, it felt as though you did.
"Azriel?" you quietly ask once the conversation had dwindled into a peaceful silence.
"Hmm?" he replied, hazel eyes sweeping over your face in question. His hand moving to lovingly tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.
"Kiss me."
Wordlessly, Azriel brought his thumb to slowly brush across your lip. Hooded gaze growing dark as a radiant smile crossed his face. Leaning in to huskily whisper in your ear, "How lucky I am, to have been blessed by an angel as beautiful as you."
And then his lips crashed to yours.
It was a heated battle of tongues and teeth. Azriel biting back a groan at the softness of your lips as they worked against his own. Your intoxicating scent delectably filling his senses until Azriel's thoughts were consumed only by you.
Moving to sit in his lap, you desperately pulled at the top of his leathers. Azriel aiding you in removing the item before your warm hands instantly moved to explore the vast expanse of his muscular chest. Mouth coming back to meet his own as you playfully nipped at the shadowsinger's lips, eliciting a soft whimper from the male who found himself entirely at your mercy.
Skirt bunching at your hips, you broke the kiss to slip your dress from your body. Nipples pebbling as the cool evening air hit your breasts. Azriel's hands froze, hovering over the curves of your waist, lustful gaze turning hesitant as his touch shied from your unblemished skin.
Seeking to quell his hesitance, you brought your hands to meet his own, lightly kissing the scarred flesh before whispering a soft truth, "You're perfect, Az." Hips moving to grind against his hardening member as you reiterated, "Every last inch of you is perfect."
Slowly, you raised Azriel's tense hands to rest against your breasts, the supple skin working to ease his trembling until the dark cloud of desire pooled in his eyes once more. His once stiff fingers relaxing as they began to work your breasts, the male smiling softly as cries of pleasure began to spill from your lips.
Unable to help the way your hips were bucking in desperation, you moved to unlace Azriel's pants as his swollen lips came to gently suck the sensitive skin of your neck, tongue working to trail over each of the purple marks left behind. A low groan escaping from his mouth as you pulled his aching cock from his leathers, twitching as you moved to wrap your hand around his length.
Azriel's hands flew to your waist as he made to flip you over. However, unwilling to hand over your control so easily, your firm hands moved to keep him beneath you. The smoky tendrils of his shadows creeping in to hold their master in place.
Eyebrows knitting together in protest, Azriel made to argue. Yet your teasing words beat him to it, "Poor Illyrian baby." Hand coming to rest on the center of his chest, you languidly rolled your hips against his leaking cock, "Relax, Azriel. Let me take care of you."
Moaning at the sound of his name on your lips, Azriel settled with placing his hands on your hips. The shadowsinger lifting you up in order to allow the head of his cock to slip between your soaking folds.
Inhaling deeply, you lower yourself onto him. Your soft whimper meeting Azriel's guttural cry as you sunk until he was fully sheathed inside of you. Allowing you the time to adjust, Azriel placed sweet kisses along your collarbones. Whispers of how perfect your heat felt wrapped around his cock tumbled from his lips, distracting you from the twinge of pain which had risen from the unfamiliar stretch.
Only when the ache had subsided, and your desire for more had become all too overwhelming, did you then move your hands to Azriel's shoulders. Clutching onto the shadowsinger for support as you began to move. Slowly raising your hips before sinking back down onto his cock once more.
It didn't take the two of you long to find a pleasurable rhythm.
Azriel's bruising grip on your waist working to pull your body down in time to meet his forceful thrusts. Incoherent mumblings of pleasure slipping from your lips as Azriel fucked you with a brutal pace.
It was only when you were nearing your high, and you wanted Azriel to ride the wave of pleasure alongside you, did you stretch your hand out to rake a teasing finger along the sensitive membrane of his wing. Azriel's cock pulsating inside of you as the male stilled, a strangled shout falling from his mouth at your action.
Pleased with the male's reaction, you repeated the motion, nail brushing against his twitching wings once more. A low growl rumbled in Azriel's chest, eyes blown black as he moved to flip the two of you over. Your own wings stretching out in order to allow you to comfortably lie on your back.
Azriel's cock never leaving your heat for a moment as he continued his unforgiving pace. Stars blurring your vision as his relentless pounding pulled you nearer and nearer to completion.
And then the wave crashed over you, vision turning white as a scream of pleasure tore from your lips. Azriel continuing his merciless thrusts as he chased after his own high, hands falling to your hips to try and steady your spasming body.
It wasn’t long after that Azriel followed suit, thrusts faltering as he came with a hoarse groan. The male exhaling a soft sigh of satisfaction as he withdrew himself from your core, arms caging your body as he rolled over in order to pull you on top of his chest.
Panting, Azriel raised a hand to brush the stray wisps of hair from your face. Eyes blowing wide with realization as he found himself unable to stop the words which fell from his lips next, "I love you."
Your breath caught in your throat, teary gaze looking to Azriel as your lips parted wordlessly. You had waited years for this, to hear the words you thought you would never be fortunate enough to hear. And now the moment had come you found yourself utterly incapable of expressing the undying devotion you felt for the male in front of you.
"I love you" Azriel repeated, unphased by your lack of an immediate answer, "I always have, from that very first day. All it took was one look and I knew you were it for me."
Tears welling in his hazel eyes, Azriel takes in a shaky breath before he continues, "I love you like the sun loves the moon. So much so that I would die every night, so only to let you breathe."
A sob escaped from your lips, your hand moving to rest against Azriel's cheek in order to allow your thumb to gently catch each falling tear. "Shadows" you corrected with a small smile, Azriel's expression morphing into one of confusion, "I love you like the sun loves the shadows. That I would give up my light, so only to see you dance."
Softly, you brought your lips to his. And even with the smallest of kisses, you were able to show the eternal nature of your love.
"I don't want to go" Azriel weakly cried, his words bringing you back to the unfair reality you had been dealt.
It was your turn to lovingly brush his dark hair back, matching tears falling down your own cheeks as you answered, "It's not forever. We'll see each other again."
"I'll come say goodbye tomorrow morning" he promised, sorrowful voice cracking as he spoke.
"No goodbyes, Az" you said with a bittersweet smile, moving to rest your head against his chest in order to savor your remaining time together.
As you watched the night crawl in, and the warm hues of the day had long since melted into the inky darkness; you wondered if the sun yearns for the comfort of night. In the same way you yearned for the comfort of his shadows.
~~~
Azriel's absence took a toll on you.
Your joy-filled days once spent in his company were now long forgotten as the mundane reality of life without the shadowsinger had finally come to pass.
It was as though Azriel had taken all the warmth with him when he left. The absent presence of his comforting embrace allowing the bitter chill of Windhaven to permanently settle into the marrow of your bones.
The arrival of each new month a cruel reminder that you had been left behind. Spite festering within your heart upon realization that your fate, alongside that of every other female's here, was forever bound to the camp.
Yet the dark clouds brewing overhead signaled a change in the wind.
War was coming to Prythian.
Whispers of skirmishes arising between the faeries and the mortals travelled like wildfire throughout the camp. All eyes warily looking up to the approaching storm which was steadily growing above the shadowed mountains of Illyria.
It was the males who left first, called to action by their High Lord.
You watched them leave through your frosted window, wondering if Azriel would be waiting for them at their final destination. Pondering what life would have in store for them now that they were free from the burdensome shackles of the prisonous camp. Ultimately knowing that they would fare no better in the future that awaited them at the frontlines.
The next sign that the war had finally arrived was the diminishing supplies. Even miles away from the nearest frontier, the conflict didn't leave Windhaven untouched.
Wartime Illyria was not a place for luxuries. Materials were growing scarce and food even more so, all your valuable recourses having been sent to the warriors in the mortal lands. Your father growing increasingly insufferable as his forced sobriety from the rationed drinks plagued him like an unquenchable thirst.
And then a stranger arrived at your camp.
A male from Dawn, skilled in the art of medicine, seeking aid in healing the countless victims left wounded from the violet acts of war.
Unsurprisingly, the hostile inhabitants of Windhaven all turned their noses up at his cry for help, unwilling to risk their lives on the battlefield for the sake of another's. Yet to you, the call for aid was a blessing. An invitation for you to do the one thing you've always wanted to.
Leave.
So for once in your life you allowed yourself to be selfish.
You didn't think about whether Azriel would return for you - far too many years had passed for you to still think that was a possibility. You didn't even think about your hopeless father, who without your help would surely succumb to his toxic lifestyle.
You only thought about the little girl who used to dream of seeing the world. Bright-eyed and unbroken as she spent her days wishing for someone to come and save her from the iron cage she called her home.
But no one was coming for you, you understood that now.
And so, longing to make a name for yourself in a kinder world, you answered the call.
Walking away from Windhaven without so much as a glance at the life you were leaving behind.
~~~
Azriel was dreaming again.
Dreaming of you.
Of moonlit encounters and sun-kissed embraces.
Glowing smiles and heated kisses.
And at the center of it all, you.
Yet when he wakes the sheets are cold and bare.
But the ghost of you never strays far from Azriel's mind.
~~~
His mornings always started the same.
Azriel rudely torn from his sweetened dreams by the coming of a new day. Chest unnaturally empty as he gathered the will to crawl out from the security of his sheets.
A stranger in his own home, he drifts downstairs.
Spending breakfast alongside the beaming faces of his brothers and their equally contented mates. The shadowsinger a silent observer of their animated conversations, only ever sparing a grunt of acknowledgement whenever the discussion turned his way.
Their gleeful smiles a glaring reminder to Azriel that he still hadn't found the missing piece of his soul. Tender heart aching as he longed to find the same overwhelming sense of happiness that his family shared around him. Unaware of his brother's concerned stares as they watched him slowly turn into a shell of the male he used to be.
Their worry growing, as with each passing day Azriel became more and more like one of his shadows.
Silent and unyielding.
Yet Azriel found himself helpless when it came to fighting the crushing feeling that he was to forever remain alone. Unable to sit there and watch his friends fall in love without wondering why the cauldron hadn't dealt him the same blessed fate.
Your haunting presence never failing to return to the forefront of his mind as Azriel feared that his first love was also bound to be his last.
~~~
Wallowing seemed to be Azriel's new favourite past time.
Even in the company of his friends and family, the shadowsinger failed to ever truly let the lines of his smile meet his eyes. Mind numb and heart aching, Azriel's increasingly glum attitude did not make for the most pleasant of companies.
Yet, unable to sit around as her friend slowly became half the male he used to be, Feyre decided that she wouldn't allow the Illyrian to pull away without putting up a fight. Adamant that the Azriel she used to know was simply hidden away, the Lady of Night wondered if perhaps the soothing touch of a woman was all that the male needed in order for his depressive episode to lift.
And so, having ignored Rhysand's warnings that trying to force love onto the shadowsinger would be a bad idea, Feyre began her master plan.
She started small.
Testing the waters by suggesting to Azriel that it would be nice for him to step into Velaris's dating scene. Casually mentioning that a friend of hers was looking for a partner and she thought the pair of them would be well-matched.
Much to her dismay, her efforts were met with no result, Azriel's gruff reply being a crude remark that if her friend were so desperate for a partner then she may have better luck searching in a brothel.
However, not one to give up so easily, Feyre persisted.
Each passing day bringing about new opportunities for her to share the news of a potential love interest that she believes the male should indulge in.
In the beginning, Azriel found amusement in Feyre periodically showing up at his door. He'd even feign interest as the female listed off the attributes of yet another young maiden she claimed would be perfect for him. Smiling along encouragingly as she spoke before ultimately shutting his door in her face.
But what the male hadn't predicted, was just how far Feyre would go in order to secure the happiness of her friend.
Determined that Azriel would find love so only he tried, the High Lady had neglected to tell the shadowsinger about his evening plans until the hour of his date was already upon him.
Feyre merrily bouncing on her heels as she broke the news to the male, excitable grin plastered across her lips as she waited in bated anticipation for Azriel's appreciative reaction.
But it never came.
Instead, Azriel's face turned deathly pale as his eyes briefly flickered over to the young woman standing besides Feyre, a shy smile gracing her face as she waited for the shadowsinger to greet her.
"What is this?" Azriel asked roughly. Taking the time to swallow the rising storm of anger which had settled on his tongue, the male well aware that Feyre's friend was just an innocent victim in the Lady of Night's game.
"This is your date, Az" Feyre said encouragingly, "It's time to put yourself out there."
The thundering whispers of his shadows were impossible to ignore.
Not her, they cried into his ears. Not her.
Azriel willed himself a stretched smile, chest tight and breathing difficult as he turned to Feyre's friend, "I apologize miss, my High Lady has chosen to lead you here under false pretenses, I'm not looking for a partner. Please allow me to walk you home."
Feyre's face fell in dejection, lips parted in surprise as her bewildered gaze fell upon Azriel's unrevealing expression, "But . . . I thought-"
"You thought wrong," Azriel interjected, hurt shining through his furious stare, "We'll discuss you and your thoughts once I've taken your friend home."
Feyre was still there upon Azriel's return, her face a picture of fury as the male walked through the door, "What was that?"
"What was that?" Azriel scoffed, his booming voice echoing against the hollow walls of the house's entryway, "What the fuck were you thinking Feyre?"
The female shrunk under Azriel's burning gaze, ears turning red with embarrassment as she quietly answered, "I was just trying to help. . . I thought you wanted to find love."
"I had love!" Azriel shouted in response. His outburst enough to have gathered Rhysand's attention as the High Lord winnowed into the room, rushing towards his teary mate's side.
"I had love" Azriel repeated lowly, voice cracking as he spoke, "And look how well that turned out for me."
"That's not Feyre's fault Az" Rhysand answered in defense of his mate, tone calm and steady as he worked to ebb away his brother's rising anger, "She didn't know."
"No, she didn't" Azriel replied solemnly, accusatory stare turning to the High Lord, "But you did and yet you still let her do it. . . But it's fine! Let's all play with Azriel's heart because we need some entertainment."
Rhysand's mouth dropped open, failing to find an answer that his brother deserves to hear. A cold laugh of disbelief fell from Azriel's lips, the male shaking his head as he began to walk away, "You know why I can't move on Rhys. Why I never will."
It was in that moment, whilst Rhysand watched Azriel's retreating figure, did the male then realize what all this was about. That it wasn't love that Azriel had been searching for all these years; it was you.
~~~
He came at night.
The firelight cowering in his presence.
Its amber flames licking at the darkness which had arrived alongside him. Those familiar violet eyes twinkling through the shadows as your High Lord slowly stepped into the light.
"My, my" Rhysand crooned, lips pulling into a cheshire smile, "You are a difficult woman to find."
"Rhys?" you ask in disbelief, resisting the urge to pinch yourself. Afraid of waking up from whatever strange dream your mind had conjured, "What are you doing here?"
"What I should have done centuries ago. . ." Rhysand answered, his charming smile failing to hide the worry which danced in his telling eyes, "I'm taking you home."
~~~
Azriel had grown up listening to the tales of men who claimed to have seen the Mother.
Their stories full of mighty wonder as they spoke of a being so perfect that her beauty alone was enough to drive even the strongest of males to the brink of insanity.
He had never believed them of course. Having laughed at their foggy eyes and lovesick expressions, believing their drunken words to have been no more than what they were. Fairytales.
But there you were.
Smile just as warm as he remembered, features just as soft.
Standing there in ethereal beauty as you waited for the shadowsinger to approach. Yet all Azriel could do was stare, wordless mouth parted in shock as the realization dawned on him that this was the closest he would ever get to seeing the Mother herself.
Azriel's hand flew to his chest. Never having imagined that after all this time your beauty would still have the power to disarm him just as it had done the day you first met. Unable to stop the cry of joy which fell from his lips as his dormant heart sparked to life. Eyes closing in relief as he felt the familiar comfort of its rhythmic pounding once more.
His love reborn as your two souls reunited once more.
"Hi Az" you beam, hand coming to rest against his tear-stained cheek, your voice coaxing the trembling male to open his hazel eyes, "I've missed you."
Stunned speechless, all Azriel could do was cry.
Weeping as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, the two of you sinking to the floor as he fell into the comfort of your loving embrace. The recognizable scent of your sweet aroma finally spurring his words into existence, "I came back for you."
You inhaled sharply at his words, pulling away from the hug in order to meet his sincere gaze. "After the war" he explained, stumbling over his words in an attempt to get them out, "I wanted to bring you to Velaris. . . But you weren't there. They told me that you were gone, that you were never coming back."
Hushing the male you moved his head to rest against your chest, running your fingers through his dark hair in attempt to calm him. Your own tears running down your face at the realization that Azriel had come back for you.
That he hadn't forgotten you.
"I'm here now" you promised softly, gently placing a kiss atop of the shadowsinger's head, "And I'm not going anywhere-"
You barely managed to get the words out before Azriel's lips crashed onto yours. Whimpering at the familiar sensation of his soft lips against your own. Five hundred years, that's how long you had yearned for this. For his mouth, his touch, his warmth.
Azriel pulled away, lifting his hands to your face in order to wipe away the stay tears which remained. "I love you" he blurted, hazel eyes sparking with life as he said the words, "cauldron I love you."
An overjoyed laugh tumbled from your lips, your tender smile wide as you listened to what Azriel had to say.
"No more waiting" Azriel begged, "I've already wasted five hundred years that should have been spent by your side. But not anymore. . . I'll spend the next five hundred years telling you just how much I love you. . . So long as you still want me that is, if there isn't anyone else."
"Want you?" you asked in surprise, "I'm already yours Az, I always have been. So just as they were the first, let your lips be the last to ever kiss mine. Because you're it for me Az, there is no one else."
You didn't need to ask again, Azriel bringing his lips to meet yours once more. Taking his time to pour all of his love into the action before pulling away to whisper a promise against your parted lips, "I'll never leave you again, not as long as I live."
"I won't let you" you answer, pulling the male into another crushing hug, "I'm never letting go of you again."
It was there, wrapped within your embrace on the floor of his home, that Azriel finally allowed himself to believe that everything was going be ok. Because how could it not be when his happiness had finally returned. The shadowsinger safe with the knowledge that at the end of the night, the sun will rise.
#acotar#fanfic#acotar imagine#sarah j maas#a court of thorns and roses#azriel x reader#azriel smut#azriel shadowsinger#azriel imagine#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel spymaster
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Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
Unknown
#Unknown#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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Hi! I absolutely love your headcannons!! Would it be possible for me to request sick Astarion? Or Astarion with a sick Tav? :)
Hi! Thank you for your request! I think I can do both!
Masterlist
Headcanons
Caring for their sick partner
Astarion takes care of you
He isn't a nurturing type.
He doesn't really care about himself let alone someone else!
Besides, it's not like he used to hang out with mortals a lot.
During your post-game adventures, you end in the far north in the middle of winter.
Astarion doesn't feel cold, but he notices you feel uncomfortable near him - his body is cold, and he steals the heat you need so much.
It causes tension between you two - one of the first challenges for you as a couple.
During a fight, you fall through the ice and almost die in the dark cold waters.
Astarion saves you but the damage is done.
You are severely sick.
Astarion freaks out.
You are dying in his arms.
He has to save you. He won't lose you.
Astarion manages to dress you in dry and warm clothes. He leaves you by the fire for a bit to hunt - you need food, and Astarion needs blood to warm you.
Then, when you stabilize, he carries you to the closest village and gives you all the money you've earned in your travels for a room in the inn.
He spoon-feeds you and wraps you in the warmest blankets.
Sometimes you pout, refusing to take one more bitter medicine, but he can't take this nonsense - you are going to get better. Period.
When you wake up, still in fever, Astarion is always near. Either wrapping you with his blood-warm body or with his ear on your chest as if he was afraid your heart was going to stop at any given moment.
As the spring comes, you finally get better. Astarion gives you a bath, and you realize how itchy and sweaty your body is.
Then he lashes at you, of course.
You were reckless, you were risking yourself. How could you?
But you know he speaks out of fear, and you comfort him, promising to never put yourself in danger without a need.
You take care of Astarion
If you weren't a nurturing type, you wouldn't end up with Astarion.
The man needs help and care, something he never had.
You comfort him after the nightmares and kiss away his tears.
He doesn't need to be cared for physically - once the tadpole is removed, he regenerates, and it's impossible to wound him.
But he is a mental wreck who can have a meltdown over a trigger word or a cruel flashback after an innocent action.
But he is far from invincible.
He is being reckless and ends up surrounded by monster hunters.
They chain him in silver and leave him helpless on the ground to see the sun.
You manage to come to the rescue - and murder all three of them.
But as you fight, the sun rises, and it burns Astarion.
It's almost too late for him when you set him free and drag him to the shadows.
The regeneration is slowed down - the burns are as bad as if he survived a fire.
You give him blood. All you can do without killing yourself.
The assault causes one of the worst setbacks in his healing process.
Astarion is almost catatonic - curling in the darkest corner of the room in the fetal position.
You can only guess what prison his tortured mind is locked in.
You talk to him. Hug him. Takes care of his hair. Caress his back.
Days become weeks, weeks become months - and one evening Astarion is finally back.
He wraps his hand around you and nuzzles your collarbone.
By the end of the night, Astarion is his true self again, ready for everything freedom has to offer.
"I was there, in the tomb," he confesses. "I was locked there, in the dark, and all my life looked like a feverish dream."
"I am here, love," you say. "I will always be here for you."
You pretend you don't see his tears as you say it.
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @queenofthespacesquids @ednaaa-04 @dajeong
#spacebarbarian headcanon#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#astarion romance#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion headcanon#baldurs gate 3#astarion headcanons#astarion x tav#astarion x f!tav#tav x astarion#astarion x reader#astarion and tav#astarion x you#baldur's gate tav#baldurs gate 3 astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion baldurs gate#astarion brainrot#astarion baldurs gate 3
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Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
Unknown
#Unknown#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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Quote
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise again.
Victor Hugo
#Victor Hugo#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
Herbert Kretzmer
#Herbert Kretzmer#motivation#quotes#poetry#literature#relationship quotes#writing#original#words#love#relationship#thoughts#lit#prose#spilled ink#inspiring quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#love quotes#poem#aesthetic
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