#English is not my language so....

[skyred-blog]

My headcanon story of the DLC

See people share their headcanon stories of DLC, I wanted to share mine too...Let's me cook, don't stop meeeeee:

The Caelid battle happens because Miquella believed that if the stars moved, he could become a god and fix things in the Lands Between, given his status as an Empyrean destined to become a god

Malenia came to Caelid to fight while Miquella stayed in Haligtree because the tree needed his body and who would bring a child to battle? However, Miquella wanted his sister to be safe, so he appeared as St. Trina in her and her soldiers' dreams to ease their pain from rot just like how she eased the Frenzy Flame

And when Malenia let the Scarlet Aeonia bloom, St. Trina caused her to slumber. Because St. Trina only appeared in dreams, Finlay was still the only one who could help Malenia at that moment. Freyja wasn't cured by Miquella; instead, she was left alone on the battlefield. In a state of desperation because of pain and hunger not Fear and Hunger, she somehow ate the ingredients of Boluses, which is how she got cured truly a Masterchief moment! and that is how we have Boluses. Yes, I'm still very salty about the fact that Miquella appeared in Caelid only to do nothing for his sister or her soldiers. Freyja wanted to revenge for her general so she went to LoS like the cut content of 1.0

Seeing Malenia and Radahn's rot states and remembering his failure to help Godwyn, Miquella became depressed and decided he would do anything to become a god.

Then Miquella got kidnapped by Mohg, but Miquella decided to use his power to activate his trap card. Get rekt, Mohg. Yes, I don't think someone who created a Blood cult and kingdom can be a cute little Omen, right? Anbasch is angry. Cut the body part, leaving only Miquella needing Mohg for the LoS.

Even though he was able to go to the LoS, Miquella is useless even worse than Ranni. So somehow our Tarnished goes around and sees him. FRIENDSHIP! at first. He still charmed the NPCs except Tarnished because you were chosen by Torrent.

Something something happened, god ritual or some shit so Miquella decided to cut himself. Our Tarnished is okay with everything because Miquella said he's okay, but he isn't. Basically, every self-harm act he does in public makes the group of NPCs think he's so determined and hardcore. Suddenly, he became extremely cruel, like killing poor Rot people because he thought they caused Malenia's pain instead of listening to their stories like he used to with other NPCs. We don't know why, but thanks to Tholier's feelings, we discover that he secretly cut St. Trina in the end and threw her away

So, in the end, Miquella becomes a god, but at the cost of becoming an empty vessel for every Outer God to use. He's simultaneously all-powerful and weak, which contrasts with his ability to create Unalloyed Gold, used against Outer Gods. He asks the Tarnished for help, offering the Lord title as a reward.

Seeing Miquella's unstable and pathetic state, we decided to finish him in battle. Miquella would use incantations of every Gods and summons spirits akin to O'Neil. After he was dead, memories flood back of the happy times with his family even before Messmer going to LoS, which means it will include Messmer, Melina, Godwyn, the Carian trio, Malenia, and even glimpses of Morgott and Mohg from afar. All he wanted was to experience happiness like a normal child.

[acrowseye]

i'm conducting an experiment. everyone who's from an english speaking country state your country, regional area and what you call the following images. i need to see something

[fairydrowning]

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]

[taimanzano]

One of one. One, alone, one.

[stars-obsession-pit]

“Mom, why do you think ghosts are intrinsically evil?”

“It’s what the science says, of course!”

“No, I mean like, what were the studies? What did they actually observe”

“Ohh, I get what you mean, Danny! Well across all reputable reports of encounters with the ghosts strong enough to matter, they’ve always attacked first and never responded to attempts at communication! There’s no reason for them to do that if they’re not evil!”

“Huh…”

…

Danny, learning about Ghost Speak and how humans can’t understand it: hmm.

Danny, learning that ghosts greet each other and bond by fighting: hmmm.

[mssoapart]

12 years later, welcome back, a show about a nerdy boy and an active girl running into mysteries and occult

[technically-human]

What if I stayed here for a bit with you, instead?

[cap-sweet-and-salty-sadness]

Shout out to the fic writers who write in English even though it's not their native language. Whether you just started and are using Google Translate more often than not, or you've been doing it for years and still translating sayings from your native tongue word for word that don't make much sense in English.

Your addition to the fandom is important and unique purple prose would be missed without your input. Don't give up even if you're unhappy with your progression. Remember that your writing is better today than it was yesterday, and that it'll be better tomorrow than it was today.

[typingbunny]

I‘m obsessed with this

Him pressing her to the ground

His body covering her entire body bc he's so tall and broad, the feeling of his weight on her

The handholding that functions as pinning her down

His red ears (might be from the cold though)

The hand on her cheeks + kinda holding her chin just bc he can since his hands are so big

This is only a guess but convince me that he's not parting her legs with his resting one leg dangerously close to the warmth he "needs"

On that note: the ice melting during the kiss

His outfit is not only pretty but I bet fun to take off as well-

Warning: this is just smut, pure filth.

If you’re not 18+ this is your cue to leave 🚪

Zayne is the type of boyfriend that makes you ride him while looking into his eyes until you can’t hold yourself up anymore because it’s so intense and he’s reaching so deep.

He loves this view. He may be under you but don’t let it fool you to think you’re in charge. If he wanted to he could just fuck into you from this angle by slightly working his hips towards you and make you see stars. However at this point, how hazy you are already that would be just cruel … wouldn’t it?

This angle allows him a prime view to just watch you as you chase your high by using him as not more than a means to get that release you’re craving.

He’s obsessed with you. He tries to hide how much he really adores you because he doesn’t want to scare you away with how much he actually wants you, needs you, but he is sure you can feel his heart pounding beneath your hands as you straddle him regardless of his attempts to mask it. The heart cannot lie.

He reaches up and cups your perky breasts in his big, surprisingly warm, hands. They are so warm they feel like fire on your skin so much it feels like they are trying to burn themselves onto Zayne’s favourite part of your body. After idly caressing your breasts, Zayne changes up the soothing manner and opts for increasing the roughness of his touch as he alternates between massaging them gently to squeezing them harshly from time to time, a feeling that goes straight to your core.

The look on your face, that cock-drunk expression: mouth slightly agape, eyes struggling to stay focused threatening to roll back and you tearing up because of how good he is making you feel. Zayne has jerked off to your face more times than he wants to admit.

He gently cups your face causing you to ground yourself a little and make eye contact with him. His thumb strokes over your cheek in an adoring manner until it travels down to your lips. They are pink and swollen and for a second he thinks about sinking his cock between them, but not now. Now he wants you to cum for him while he is buried deep inside of you. Deeper than any other man ever was nor would for that matter because that is out of question. No matter the circumstances or consequences, Zayne would hunt down whoever tried to replace him. He could easily make it look like an accident. Sometimes his love for you scares him but that’s a price he is willing to pay.

“Open.“

He doesn’t have to elaborate, you know exactly what he wants as you start sucking on his fingers like a shameless whore. His whore. Only his. Forever. The little velvet box bearing an engagement ring, that has been resting in his part of the closet for a while being a token for that.

“Good girl.“

He takes his wet fingers out of your mouth and swirls them around your nipple and a tiny moan erupts from you. Zayne chuckles and you send him a playful glare. That glare doesn’t hold up long though because drinking in how sinful your boyfriend looks under you, you’re quickly occupied with trying not to cum but rather ingrain that image into your memory so you’ll remember it for the rest of your life.

Black hair pushed back, slightly tousled; most likely a result of your doings earlier when his face was buried between your thighs. His cheeks and ears are red, a telltale sign that he is either embarrassed or aroused. Right now it’s the latter. His forehead is covered in beats of sweat and his eyes are filled with something that can be only described as pure lust.

You’re brought back to planet earth by a cold pinch of your sensitive nipples and another moan escapes you. That crazy motherfucker used his EVOL and it felt good. Make lemonade out of lemons or whatever they say.

This was the last straw to your somewhat composure. Now you are clutching onto his shoulders to hold yourself up as Zayne continues his assault on your nipples.

“Zayne-”

Hearing you moan his name always does it for him. He can feel something in him snap, most likely his self control and his blood practically starts to boil.

“Come here.”

And then, with a swift motion he just scoops you up into his arms pressing your chest against his as he rocks you up and down the whole length of cock like his personal fleshlight. If you weren’t moaning and screaming you’d be in awe of how strong he is as he rocks you up and down hitting deeper than you thought was ever possible, muscles flexing beneath his perfect skin. In an attempt to get even closer to him you bury your face into his neck and let yourself be consumed by Zayne’s smell, that certain smell you call home. God the things you’d do for this man.

Clutching your thighs, his fingertips leave little marks that knowing Zayne, he will profusely apologize for tomorrow. Meanwhile you’re holding onto his shoulders for dear life carelessly leaving little crescent moons on his back.

He once pointed out, how much he actually enjoys you “leaving a mark on him”. First you thought it was a typical Zayne move trying to comfort you so you don’t feel bad about hurting him. But one day when you where looking for pictures on his phone for a little gift you were preparing, a photoalbum for your anniversary, you found an interesting picture.

It was Zayne in front of your bedroom mirror trying to photograph said marks on his back. You contemplated to tease him with the evidence but the mental imagine of big mean Zayne (that’s at least what others who didn’t know him thought of him to be) standing in front of your bedroom mirror trying to get the perfect picture was too adorable. What you don’t know is that once he got it, he just stood there in the middle of the room looking at the picture, 6’1 of lovey-dovey mush with a loopy grin on his face.

So right now you are basically clawing at his back amping up the scratches the more he moans and curses under his breath.

Once he can’t take it anymore and the only thing on his mind is breeding you as he cums over and over again deep inside of you filling you up until you beg him to stop, he embraces you tightly and flips both of you so he is on top. Your legs are wrapped around his waist and he feels your wetness all over him. Immediately his hands find yours, interlacing your fingers. What looks like romantically holding hands is his gateway to restrain you, holding them tightly pinned over your head so your tits are completely exposed.

His lips find one sensitive nub and he starts devouring you while looking up at you through his lashes, and you swear if he keeps that up you’re going to reach your high from this alone.

“Zayne please-

M-Move!”

He detaches from his favourite toy, his personal little make her dumb button so to speak, to look at you, a twinkle in his eye. For a second he imagines what it would be like to make you suffer a little bit and make you beg for it. Because he knows you would beg for him. Just like you have many times.

You’re so fucked out and desperate for him it turns him on so much it almost hurts and though he swears couldn’t possibly be any harder he feels another wave of desire wash over him, threatening to drown him. Not only does he accept his fate, the thought weirdly enough makes him beyond happy and he struggles to hide the smirk creeping up on the corner of his by now swollen lips as he goes in for a kiss and you can’t help but surrender yourself to.

“ Whatever you want my love.”

He leans down whispering in your ear, voice laced with desire, and something slightly … sadistic?

“Just remember, you asked for it.”

From that point on, only the gods above can help you and the bed frame …

I don’t know why but I picture Zayne to be less of a butt guy and rather a boobie guy maybe because of cardio lmao … 💭

[sharlinefreire]

ok, there's a famous meme in brazil about house md and i don't know if there is an english version for this meme, so i'll try to translate as best i can:

every episode of house md is like

> the patient arrives the hospital.

> the patient is a prostitute or a religious fanatic.

> dr. house attends the patient. she's very sick.

“dr. house, we don't know what to do!! she's bleeding from her eyes!!”

“do the exams, you idiot”

> dr. house will talk with the patient.

“you're stupid. fuck you.”

“dr. house, i hate youuu!! please heal meeee!!”

> cameron, chase and foreman come back to the room.

“dr. house, all the exams were negative. she's gonna die in 2 hours if we do nothing!! will be game over for her.”

“hmmm... game over... oh, there's a gameboy in her ass, that's the problem!”

“dr. house, you're an idiot, but we will check if there really is a gameboy in her ass.”

> they found the gameboy in her ass.

“oh my god, dr. house!! you were right. how did you know that?”

“the gameboys pikachu edition released in 1997 had an iodine-based battery, which if inserted in the butt makes your eyes bleed”

> the patient, cured, enters in the room.

“i was wrong about you, dr. house”

“fuck you, you're a whore! life is pain!!”

> dr. house go to lunch and flirt with dr. wilson <3

> the end.

[rute-me]

[monstermoviedean]

if you took a language class in school (any level, any language) did your instructor assign you a name from that language? like, when i took french in high school i was assigned a "french name" that i had to use in that class. did anyone else experience this?

[stychu-stych]

"I'm sorry for my bad English"

Don't be❗️Learning languages is hard, you had to put an effort, your time and probably a lot of money to be able to communicate with people who don't speak your language. If someone makes fun of your grammar or accent not in the friendly way, they're assholes

Like my polish friend said who write in english for a living - "If they don't pay me for speaking in English, I can make as many grammar mistakes as I fucking want". And I go with that ideology

[saamaton]

formula 1 ft. talk talk

a sequel to my first f1 x brat edit!

this is a shorter and sillier edit but it practically came to me in a dream and i couldn't stop thinking about it until i made it so, you're welcome, i guess

[ckducky]

Learning to say "I love you" in each others language 

[machiavellli]

Possessive!Theo that one night gets completely filled with anger as he sees you dancing with someone else at a party and simply starts shouting things in Italian you can’t comprehend. He slams you at the wall, his face only millimetres away from you, his gaze dark, his words bitter and your hands pressed up. His hot breath against the frigid wall. The maniac appearance looks so good on him.

“Che cazzo pensavi di fare? Tieni ancora almeno due cazzo di neuroni oh?” he bawled pointing at my head with disgust, but I kept my mouth shut. 

My silence only made him angrier, and as I started to lower my gaze, he grabbed my face with one of his hands. The other hand harshly slammed against the stone wall behind me.

“Look at me. Dammi. Na. Cazzo. Di. Risposta.”

“Porca puttanta.” the hand slammed again.

“Ti corromperò fino al punto di farti piangere. Oh tesoro mio, piangerai lacrime amare pregando inutilmente che io smetta. Sei mia. La gentilezza è na cosa finita. Do you understand? Cazzo vaf-” Those were the last words he heavily shouted before kissing me with pure burning lust. Definitely the start of a great night.