#End Intersex Surgery Now

[mxanunnakiraymarquez]

Some People in Power and Control Will Not Stop Regulating Our Intersex Lives as Nonconsenting Children.

My educational thoughts for the day: We have all been taught by colonialism, and people in power and control, to pathologize human diversity. This language mostly comes from people of power who are white, endosex, cisgender, heterosexual men. To this day, people in power and control invent what is “normal” and have judged, pathologized, and diagnosed human diversity. They invented racism, the…

[theforesteldritch]

Reading about how intersex athletes have been treated is so fucking horrible. The countless lies and human rights violations. The discrimination and how it's ruined the lives of so many people is so awful. There has been no apologies from any athletics comptetions or organizations. They have blood on their hands. Just a tw for intersexism and mental health issues and suicide in the next paragraph because it can get pretty heavy.

Annet Negesa, who was a middle distance runner. She was suddenly barred from competing due to her hormones. No one told her why. She was then told she needed to take medication to lower her testosterone, then what she was told was switched. She was lied to about a surgery that she was told was like an injection and would let her compete again. She woke up with scars and had had a gonadectomy. That violation of basic human rights and medical ethics combined with inadequate postsurgical care basically ended her career. She deserves justice. She deserves apologies from the Olympics and everyone single doctor who was involved in it, and compensation and the promise that it should never have happened and will never happen again. She. Needs. Justice.

Pratima Gaonkar needs justice. She was a rising track and field star. After forced sex verificatiom she killed herself. The way media and news treated her after her death was disgusting. She deserves and needs justice. Her family deserves justice.

Santhi Soundarajan had her medals stripped and was treated as an outcast after forced sex verification showed she had androgen insensitivity syndrome. She was treated as an outcast, her gender was mocked. She's spoken out about how much discrimination she's faced, and how badly she's been treated. She now works as a coach, but was barred from competing. She deserves justice.

Caster Semenya deserves justice. Francine Niyonsaba deserves justice. Margaret Wambui deserves justice. Barbra Banda deserves justice. Beatrice Masilingi and Christine Mboma deserve justice.

The racism and intersexism and horrible human rights violations and medical abuse these women have faced for the supposed crime of being intersex and good at a sport is horrible. They deserve justice, but the organizations that perpetuate these atrocities don't seem to care. It's so fucking horrible.

[genderqueerdykes]

disabled intersex trans lesbian needs help paying for bills while sick with gallstones

hello, i'm equinox. i'm a mixed disabled intersex trans lesbian. i am dealing with gallstones, one of which is lodged in the neck of my gallbladder and causing immense pain and digestive issues. i'm struggling to keep down food, some days i can't at all. i am also dealing with an injury in my left wrist that makes it very difficult to use, flare ups from hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome and psoriatic arthritis. i am struggling with my health and am in need of help as working has become very difficult and i'm being urged to rest while i await my gallbladder removal surgery

today i was told that the surgeon i was referred to can't work on patients above a certain weight and that i would need another referral to a surgeon who is used to working with fat bodies. i already waited a month to see this person, now i have to wait again. i have bills to pay, and i'm struggling to make ends meet right now due to my low energy from dealing with my health as is

i have been bed bound lately and my body has been so exhausted to the point of nearly passing out in public several times. i have been so tired i have been falling asleep against my will. i struggle to cook some days due to being so exhausted. i'm behind on housework, and i need certain cleaning items. i'm struggling to eat regularly, as sometimes i can get sick and throw up for no reason at all.

i had 4 GI procedures this month, all of which were helpful and informative, but it's wearing on me. my mental health is very fragile at the moment as my care is being prolonged for no reason. i am frequently in tears due to how tired this has been making me. i am frustrated beyond belief because i just want to be able to eat normal meals again. i can barely eat. i can barely stay awake

i currently have to pay for my electric bill, and my internet bill:

if you are interested in helping me, you can do so in the following ways:

pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare @ gmail. com cash app: $glitterGraphix venmo: $Equinoxian chime: $Equinoxian

Click here for my eBay shop!

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

will you please give us examples of resources to look at if we want to learn more about the concept of gender and maybe even transness in Medieval Europe? thanks!

whooooo boy right, there's a lot! I wanna start this by saying that I am very much not an expert, and I only have access to stuff I can find for free and the handful of books I can afford to buy second hand. Most of my research has been around gender as it relates to transness and GNC people. I am absolutely missing stuff, or have forgotten stuff, or simply lack the know-how to find stuff.

There's a few bits I've got on a TBR but haven't read yet - some I've included and some I haven't, depending on the source and how established it is.

Also: this is medieval Europe. The way pronouns are used to describe people don't really align with modern views of sex and gender. Also be aware of old-fashioned language use (for example, some texts talk about "hermaphrodites"). Remember that the way we talk about gender and trans identities is far different to how we even spoke about it 20 years ago.

So with that out of the way... I am chucking this under a read more, because it's long:

---

GENDER

Medieval ideas around gender were different to how we now think about it. The Hippocratic view of gender saw gender as a sort of wet/dry, cold/hot spectrum upon which men were at one end and women the other (and in the middle were intersex people). The male body was seen as hot and dry, and the female as cold and wet. The cold, wetness is what made women try to seek out heat from guys. A lot comes down to humors rather than genitals - if you're hot and dry, that innately means you grow a penis, because the heat sorta forces it out. So the marker is that penis = man, but you only have that penis in the first place because of your hot, dry humor.

Some people believed the vagina was an inverted penis - as in, the penis turned outside in. Some schools of thought believed that both men and women produced "seed", and that both were needed for conception. These thoughts and ideas shifted around a lot.

The Hippocratic view shifted towards Aristotelian ideas around the 12th Century, where the male/female divide was a lot stronger. There were also surgeons throughout all these periods who sought to "correct" intersex genitalia with surgery (how little things change).

This podcast (I've linked to a transcript, because I have more time to read than listen to things) with Dr Eleanor Janega is super interesting. In fact, I'd recommend reading her whole blog, which is fascinating. She also has a book out (but I've not read it so I can't give a yay or nay on that one)

The Meanings of Sex Difference in the Middle Ages by Joan Cadden seems to be a good source on this, but I've not read it so I can't vouch for it 100%.

I've listed below some real people who could fit into our modern interpretation of transness, and the fact that all of these people were only "outed" when arrested or at their death makes me think that there were probably a lot more people at the time who would also fit into this category. It does feel (to me, a layman) that you could rock up in a new town and go "hello I'm Jeff the Man" and people would just accept that.

It's also important to note that the majority of sources I've found are about people we could define as trans men (FTM). I've only found one person who could be described as a trans woman. If anyone out there has more sources for trans women, I'd love to hear them - specifically in medieval Europe/England.

There's also a big discussion to be had around the idea of women dressing as men to achieve a goal. People love getting into arguments about it. My general rule is that if someone lived as X gender, and was forcibly outed against their will or at death, then I feel we can more safely assume that their experience maps more closely onto a trans narrative than it does one of a woman taking on the "disguise" of a man.

---

TRANS & GNC ACADEMIA

Here's some of the sources I've been using that examine medievalism through a trans or trans-adjacent lens.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, Alicia Spencer-Hall & Blake Gutt - a deep dive/collection of essays about medieval religious figures/saints through a trans lens, specifically about cross-dressing figures. Really fascinating, and available on open access.

How to be a Man, Though Female: Changing Sex in Medieval Romance, Angela Jane Weisl - goes into detail about medieval texts in which characters change their sex.

Transgender Genealogy in Tristan de Nanteuil, Blake Gutt - trans theory in the story Tristan de Nanteuil.

Trans Historical: Gender Plurality before the Modern, edited by Greta LaFleur, Masha Raskolnikov & Anna Kłosowska - A great big examination into trans history/gender. I desperately want this book.

Clothes Make the Man, Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe, Valerie R. Hotchkiss (book, no online source available) - Another look into women dressing as men and gender inversion.

The Shape of Sex, Leah DeVun (book) - A history of nonbinary sex, 200 - 1400BC. Not read this one yet but it's on my TBR.

In fact, I'd recommend all of Leah DeVun's work, which I'm currently making my way through. I'm currently reading Mapping the Borders of Sex.

The Third Gender and Aelfric's Lives of Saints, Rhonda L. McDaniel - An examination into the idea of a "third gender" in monastic life based around chastity and spiritualism

Erecting Sex: Hermaphrodites and the Medieval Science of Surgery, Leah DeVun - an essay about "corrective" surgery on intersex individuals in the 13th/14th centuries. (I've not fully read this one yet but the topic is relevant)

----

TRANS FIGURES

Joseph/Hildegund (died 1188) - A monk who, upon his death, was discovered to have a vagina/breasts.

Eleanor Rykener (1394) - A (likely) trans sex worker arrested in 1394 (and another source that isn't wiki)

Katherina Hetzeldorfer (killed 1477) - An early record of a "woman" being executed for female sodomy. Katherina dressed and presented as a man, and some scholars read them as a trans man.

Marinos/Marina the Monk (5th Cent) - A monk who was born a woman and lived as a man in a monastery. Marinos was accused of getting a local innkeeper's daughter pregnant. Their "true sex" was discovered upon their death.

-----

ROMANCES* & GENDER

If you're interested in the idea of gender presentation and trans-adjacent stories, I very much recommend taking a look at some contemporary sources. I've tried to take a sort of neutral approach to pronouns for these descriptions, but it's hard to marry the medieval and modern ideas of sex and gender! The titles are all links.

*Romances here means Chivalric Romances: prose/verse narratives about chivalry, often with fantastic elements. Not, like, falling in love Romances.

Le Roman de Silence (13th Cent) - in order to ensure inheritance, a couple raise their daughter as a boy. The baby is called Silence/Silentius/Silentia. The poem features the forces of Nature and Nurture, who argue about Silence's "true" gender - Nature claims they're a girl, and Nurture claims they're a boy. Silence has a variety of adventures, largely referred to in the text as a man with he/him pronouns, and at the end their "true gender" is discovered and, as a woman, they marry the king.

Yde et Olive (15th Cent) - to avoid being married to their own father, Yde, a woman, disguises themselves as a man and becomes a knight. They end up in Rome, where the king marries them to their daughter, Olive. After a couple of weeks, Yde tells Olive about their "true gender", but the conversation is overheard. The King demands Yde bathe with him to prove they are a man. An angel intervenes and transforms Yde's body into that of a man.

Iphis and Ianthe (Greek/Roman myth, but also in Ovid's Metamorphois, which first came to England in the 15th Cent) - Telethusa is due to give birth, but her husband tells her that if the baby is a girl he'll have it killed. When she gives birth to a girl, she disguises the baby as a boy. Eventually, Iphis is engaged to Ianthe. (Incidentally, this is also a really early example of same-sex romance, as Iphis struggles with their love for Ianthe "as a woman"). Before the wedding, Iphis and Telethusa pray at the temple of Isis, who transforms Iphis into a man.

Tristan de Nanteuil (11th/12th Cent) - from the Chanson de geste, after his alleged death, Tristan's wife, Blanchandin/e, disguises themselves as a Knight. Clarinde, a sultan's daughter, falls in love with them. Blanchandin manages to hide their "true sex", but when Clarinde demands they bathe with her to prove they are a man they flee into the woods. There, they meet an angel who asks if they want to be transformed into a man. Blanchandin accepts and he is turned into a man for the rest of the poem. (Incidentally the angel gives him a giant cock. Yes, the text specifies this).

Le Livre de la mutation de fortune (1403) - written in the first person by Christine de Pizan, the poem describes how the narrator is transformed by Fortune into a man after the death of their husband during a storm at sea. They maintain that 13 years after the event, they are still living as a man. (They also mention Tiresias, a Greek mythological figure who was a man transformed into a woman for seven years).

Okay, for now - that's about all I can think of. Happy reading!

[trans-axolotl]

Bo Laurent created the Intersex Society of North America in 1993, starting the intersex rights movement in the United States. Describing the founding of ISNA, they wrote:

"Over the course of a year, simply by speaking openly within my own social circles, I learned of six other intersexuals--including two who had been fortunate enough to escape medical attention. I realized that intersexuality, rather than being extremely rare, must be relatively common. I decided to create a support network. In the summer of 993, I produced some pamphlets, obtained a post office box, and began to publicize the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) through small notices in the media. Before long, I was receiving several letters per week from intersexuals throughout the United States and Canada and occasionally some from Europe. While the details varied, the letters gave a remarkably coherent picture of the emotional consequences of medical intervention. Morgan Holmes: "All the things my body might have grown to do, all the possibilities, went down the hall with my amputated clitoris to the pathology department. The rest of me went to the recovery room--I'm still recovering." Angela Moreno: "I am horrified by what has been done to me and by the conspiracy of silence and lies. I am filled with grief and rage, but also relief finally to believe that maybe I am not the only one." Thomas: "I pray that I will have the means to repay, in some measure, the American Urological Association for all that it has done for my benefit. I am having some trouble, though, in connecting the timing mechanism to the fuse."

ISNA's most immediate goal has been to create a community of intersex people who could provide peer support to deal with shame, stigma, grief, and rage, as well as with practical issues such as how to obtain old medical records or locate a sympathetic psychotherapist or endocrinologist. To that end, I cooperated with journalizes whom I judged capable of reporting widely and responsibly on our efforts, listed ISNA with self-help and referral clearinghouses, and established a presence on the internet. ISNA now connects hundreds of intersexuals across North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand. It has also begun sponsoring an annual intersex retreat, the first of which took place in 1996 and which moved participants every bit as profoundly as the New Woman conference had moved me in 1993.

ISNA's longer-term and more fundamental goal, however, is to change the way intersex infants are treated. We advocated that surgery not be performed on ambiguous genitals unless there is a medical reason (such as blocked or painful urination), and that parents be given the conceptual tools and emotional support to accept their children's physical differences...To provide a counterpoint to the mountains of medical literature that neglect intersex experience and to begin compiling an ethnographic account of that experience, ISNA's Hermaphrodites with Attitude newsletter has developed into a forum for intersexuals to tell their own stories.

...When I established ISNA in 1993, no such politicized groups existed. I was less willing to think of intersexuality as a pathology or disability, more interested in challenging its medicalization entirely, and more interested still in politicizing a pan-intersexual identity across the divisions of particular etiologies in order to destabilize more effectively the heteronormative assumptions underlying the violence directed at our bodies."

-Cheryl Chase, Mapping the Emergence of Intersex Political Activism, Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies, 1998, 189-211.

[queerandherewithgoodnews]

Happy Intersex Awareness Day!

Today, the 26th of October, is Intersex awareness day. Celebrate all the intersex peeps and raise attention to the struggles they face!

End intersex genital surgery and other forced invasive measures now!

[intersex-support]

hello! i newly figured out i am intersex, however i haven't been able to find much content talking about intersex experience, history or community, when i first realized i was queer originally i found a lot of content like that and found it helpful, and i was wondering if there's any recommendations you might be willing to give about any content on being intersex or intersex creators who you think people should know about!

Hey!

This ask honestly made me really happy, because when I was searching for people and resources to share with you, I realized how much stuff has been created in the past 5 years. When I was diagnosed as intersex, I felt like there was so much less stuff than there even is now, so it makes me really happy to know there is more stuff, even if it's still hard to find.

Some of the things I've put on this list are outdated or might include perspectives that I don't completely love, but might include important historical context. It is also a very US centric and English language centric resource, although I have linked to organizations in other countries and would love if people added on recommendations to intersex resources in a variety of languages. As always, take what resonates with you and leave behind the rest!

Books:

Cripping Intersex by Celeste E Orr

Bodies in Doubt: An American History of Intersex by Elizabeth Reis

XOXY: A Memoir by Kimberly Zieselman

Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word) by Thea Hillman

In September, Alicia Weigel is releasing her memoir Inverse Cowgirl.

In August, Pidgeon Pagonis is releasing their memoir, Nobody Needs to Know.

Fiction books:

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Intersex #ownvoices books, collated by Bogi Takács

Films:

Every Body directed by Julie Cohen is in theaters right now, and will eventually be on streaming services.

Ponyboi directed by River Gallo

Intersexion directed by Grant Lahood

Articles + misc:

Hermaphrodites with Attitude newsletter-content note for h slur and some other outdated language. Very important history though <3

Jazz Legend Little Jimmy Scott Is a Cornerstone of Black Intersex History by Sean Saifa Wall

What it's like to be a Black intersex woman by Tatenda Ngwaru

9 Young People on How They Found Out They Are Intersex by Hans Lindhal

Teen Vogue's series of intersex interviews

After years of protest, a top hospital ended intersex surgeries. For activists, it took a deep toll by Kate Sosin

Intersex Awareness Day: A Demonstration that Inspired a Movement

Normalizing intersex: Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics

Music-Ana Roxanne

Youth&I-intersex youth zine

Juliana Huxtable-Visual Art

Youtube channels:

Emilord-videos about AIS and surgery.

Jubilee Intersex video

Hans Lindhal-videos on a wide variety of intersex topics.

What's It Like To Be Intersex? | Minutes With | UNILAD

What It's Like To Be Intersex As/Is

Pass the Mic: Intercepting Injustice with Sean Saifa Wall

Intersex Organizations:

Link to org list

People/orgs to follow:

Sean Saifa Wall

Alicia Weigel

River Gallo

Hans Lindhal

Fàájì/funk

Jahni

Justin Tsang

Intersex Awareness (fabulous direct action organizing in the US-keep an eye out cause we're gonna do more this year!)

Liat Feller

Jubilee

Crystal Hendricks

Mari Wrobi

Intersex people, please feel free to add on more resources, art, writing, and people that you like!!

[a-killer-obsession]

In Heat (Bonus Fic)

By jove, yall went and got me to 300 followers! Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart! As promised, here's the bonus followup to this fic, this time with Heat as the omega!

Prompt: Alpha/Omega + Breeding.

Additional Tags: she/her intersex reader, he/him intersex heat, omegaverse and all the usual that comes with it (marking, knotting, etc), friends to lovers, tiny recreational drug mention, mention of child mutilation in regard to intersex babies, transphobia but in a alpha/omega context?, dysphoria, breeding kink, praise kink, handjob, oral sex (giving), p in v sex, creampie, hurt/comfort

WC: 4k

Event Masterlist

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

“Heat, calm down,” Killer soothed, “it was just a small fire, no biggy. It'll be fixed next island, you can just set up in the commander's lounge for now”

“You don't understand!” Heat pulled at his hair as he paced, “my suppressants were in there!”

You watched as poor Heat nearly wore a line in the floor with his anxious pacing, after accidentally dropping a lit joint on his bed and setting fire to the comforter, along with half the room. Nobody got hurt thankfully, and the damage was minimal really, but his bed and side table had been heavily burned along with their contents. It wasn't a widely known fact that Heat was an omega, he presented like an alpha male, his closest friends were alphas, and with the suppressants masking his scent nobody ever questioned whether he was an alpha. Heat was actually a rarity, a genetic mix between sperm that wanted to be male and an egg that wanted to be an omega, a combination that would not usually result in a viable fetus, resulting in what many people would consider a freak, which meant he fit right in with the Kid Pirates.

Even rarer still was that he was intact, you knew this because you'd heard him speak about his cock piercings. Usually omegas like him were forcefully mutilated at birth to remove the ‘unwanted’ penis, an abhorrent practice that his parents had thankfully disagreed with. You hadn't seen Heat naked but you knew what his kind of omega looked like intact, he had a vaginal opening and female reproductive system, but instead of a clit he had a penis and no testicles. His body presented during puberty as a strong alpha male despite the omega cycle and scent, and while most omegas in his situation went by she/her, Heat identified as a man and went by he/him.

This contrasted with yourself, as an intersex alpha. It was something you and Heat bonded over, both being a rarity as well as identifying against the social norm. When you were born you looked by all accounts like a standard male, and when your scent glands began to develop it was clear you were an alpha. So when puberty hit and your body had filled out to smooth curves, your breasts had grown large and your skin and hair had stayed soft, it was a great dismay to your proud alpha father. The treatment of intersex alphas was far less problematic than the omega counterpart, since it didn't present till puberty, but most of your kind would be forced into unwanted top surgery and hormone replacement so they could fit society's image of what an alpha should be. You'd never really felt like a boy though, so you quickly started identifying as a woman and ended up running away from home at fifteen to avoid your father who was growing more threatening by the day. By law, as a minor at the time, he could have forced you to get the surgery and treatment against your will, so leaving was your only safe option. You skipped between pirate crews for several years until you met Heat and bonded over your similarities, joining the Kid Pirates and their band of freaks (affectionate) that made you feel so comfortable and loved regardless of your presentation.

“Just ask some of the girls for meds,” Kid huffed, “I don't see the issue here”

“They have a different kind to me,” Heat pouted, he hated being reminded of his differences even if his friends didn't care about them, “I'm not… normal… nobody has the right kind for me”

“How long do you have?” You asked carefully, grabbing his hand as he passed to still him and soothe him with gentle swipes of your thumb over the back of his hand, pushing out calming pheromones that made him shiver but lowered his heart rate. You were the only one he was okay with doing this, it made him feel emasculated when the other men did it, but if it was you it just felt affectionate, just a friend calming a friend, not an alpha subduing an omega.

“Till morning, probably,” he sighed, looking at where your hands met and letting your scent soothe him, “I usually take them at night so I'll probably go into pre-heat while I'm asleep”

“So pick an alpha,” Kid rolled his eyes, bored of this. He didn't really understand what the issue was. Omegas go into heat, alphas take care of them, what's the fuss? “I don't want you clawing at my door when you're out of your mind, pick someone while you're coherent”

“He's right, Heat,” Wire agreed, “there's no avoiding it. You're gonna go into heat one way or another, you can either beg one of us when you're not in your right mind and probably regret it after, or just give in and let one of us take care of you. It's just nature, you know none of us are gonna think less of you for it”

Heat groaned in annoyance but he knew they were both right. He didn't want to be in pain on his own for three days, he had four friends all willing to take care of him, he just had to swallow his pride and pick someone. Looking down at where your hands were still connected, the choice was easy, and he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” you said softly, immediately accepting his wordless request. It didn't come as a surprise, you had a feeling letting one of the men service him would make him hate himself afterwards. It was different with you, you understood his insecurities better than they ever could. “You wanna build your nest and stay with me tonight?”

He nodded shyly and sat beside you, finally calmed from his anxious episode. You let out more soothing pheromones and he let his torso fall against you, your fingers scratching his scalp reassuringly. “It's gonna be okay Heat, I'll take care of you” He hummed in response and let you rub his arm, giving in to the comfort you offered.

“I'll bring water and food to your room while he's building his nest,” Killer offered and you nodded in affirmation.

“Come on Heat, no time like the present,” you sighed, pushing him to stand. He let you lead him quietly to your room where you opened a cupboard full of scented nesting materials for him, rubbing his back reassuringly before helping him move the things he pulled out to the bed. You were well set for omegas, probably the most prepared of all the alphas on board, as the other girls all felt most comfortable with you during their heats. They still went to the others on occasion, but you were the one to go to if they craved softness. You even had a mini fridge and your own bathroom to easily take care of any needs while you were locked away with them, as did the other alphas on board, Kid, Killer and Wire.

Heat looked depressingly defeated as he arranged soft blankets and pillows in the corner of the room where you'd pulled out the small mattress that lived under your bed, building a protective, comforting nest in the corner, letting his instincts take over as he chose colours and textures that appealed uniquely to him. You dared not interrupt, nest building was sacred for omegas, but you sat nearby on your bed, so he knew you were there in support if he needed you. Killer brought up food and water for three days and you thanked him, setting it in the fridge and bidding him farewell before locking the door. It would be several days before either of you emerged, and keeping it locked with the seastone latch ensured no other alphas would catch his scent and go into a frenzy to get to him. Mostly Kid, he had a sensitive nose and very poor impulse control, and it had led to a few very physical fights between alphas before locks had been installed. An alpha under the influence of an omega's heat scent could fight to the death if it came to it to protect the omega, and it could get very ugly, very quickly.

He curled up in the nest with a sigh as he deemed it complete, looking up at you with forlorn eyes and reaching out one hand. You slid into the nest beside him, letting him nestle into you so his face was buried against your scent gland, your arms wrapped protectively around him.

“Are you gonna mark me?” He asked nervously.

“No, I'm not,” you assured him. Alphas were known to take advantage of omegas during their cycles, forcing claiming bonds onto them when they weren't in the headspace to deny it. “I'm not an aggressive alpha, I won't do that to you”

“What if… what if I want you to?” He asked softly. The question took you by surprise.

“Heat baby, just because you're having a cycle doesn't mean you need an alpha all the time,” you cooed, “you're so strong and independent, you're okay on your own. If you want me to claim you, I will in a heartbeat, you know how much I care about you. But I don't want you asking for it just because you're feeling vulnerable right now. If you still want it after your cycle, I'll give it to you, but not right now”

“Okay,” Heat mumbled sleepily as you pulled a blanket over the two of you, feeling more comfortable now at your assurances. Eventually you were able to get him to sleep, Heat making no complaints as you pumped out soothing pheromones to lull him, keeping him calm while his own scent reeked of anxiety and distress. You felt for him, what he was about to go through was a detriment to his entire identity and would no doubt leave him feeling ashamed and dysphoric once it was over. All you could do was keep him calm, take care of him through his heat, and hope you would be able to emotionally support him properly afterwards.

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆

Heat was living up to his name when he woke you the next day, sweating from how scorching hot his skin was, his scent ripe with pheromones and making your mouth unconsciously water. Your teeth clamped together on instinct, biting at air as you inhaled the thick scent and tried to get your wits about you. Heat was clawing at your clothes, trying to undress you before your eyes were even properly open, his own clothes already shed and his cock painfully hard. “Need~” he whined, “need you”

“It's okay Heat, I've got you,” you cooed, pushing him onto his back and kneeling between his thighs, even as you still blinked the sleep from your eyes. You stifled a yawn and shook your head, trying to shake the heaviness of sleep, while Heat spread his legs and squirmed, slick already dripping from him and dampening the blanket underneath him. The sweet smell of it was so alluring, your dick twitching to life. You leant down and wrapped one hand around his cock, making him yelp from how sensitive he was despite your gentleness. You held it out of the way as you pumped him slowly, bringing your mouth to his cunt and pressing your tongue inside him where you knew he needed you. You'd never serviced an intersex omega but you could only assume that it would be the same as the girls, but instead of a clit you had a cock to stimulate. It was still a two part affair as it was with full female omegas, so you were confident you could make him feel good. Perhaps even better than the females, since you had experience with your own cock.

Heat moaned and pulled at your hair as you thrust your tongue in and out of him, clear precum dripping from his cock. Much like a full male alphas after a vasectomy, intersex omegas could cum, but without testicles their release was mostly clear and unable to impregnate, ensuring they could not accidentally impregnate themselves. You ran your thumb over the tip of his cock, spreading the precum down his shaft and using it to lubricate him as you pumped at a rate that matched the speed of your tongue. You knew he couldn't be properly satisfied without being knotted, but you felt more comfortable getting him off at least once first so you knew you wouldn't hurt him when you did penetrate him.

It didn't take long at all for him to cum, so very pent up and needy, slick gushing from his pussy and coating your tongue as you swallowed it down with a groan, rutting your cock into the blankets below at the sweet taste that was unique to him as his own cock spilled ropes of thin liquid, dribbling over your knuckles and wetting his pale blue public hair. “Good boy Heat,” you cooed, licking him and your hand clean, making kitten licks up his still hard cock, your dick throbbing at the sight of him wet and squirming, desperate for your knot.

“Br-hnng-bre-ed me-e,” he stuttered, reaching for you, an arm draped over his eyes, unable to bring himself to look at you as he made the request.

“I'll give you what you want baby,” you purred, rubbing your hands over his thighs, “you wanna do it like this or you wanna roll over?”

Heat whined and rolled onto his front, arching his back and sticking his ass in the air to present it to you the way his instincts told him to. Right now he was at their mercy, and they were screaming submit, submit, submit. “Good boy, Heat, you're doing so good,” you assured, rubbing his back as you pumped yourself a few times and lined yourself up, “gonna give you what you need now kay?”

“Please,” he cried, backing himself into you to force you sink into him faster, making you let out a small hiss while he moaned at the feeling of being filled, “need it, need your knot”

“I know Heat,” you held his hips firm but not painfully hard as you began thrusting into him, “gonna make you feel better okay? Just hold on a little longer, I'll be as quick as I can”

“Use me,” he whined, “use my hole, breed me, knot me”

“Fuck, Heat,” you moaned. You were used to omegas saying filthy things during their cycle but to hear it from Heat, a man so much larger and stronger than you, was sending electricity straight to your dick. “Good boy, such a good boy, taking me so well”

Heat was balling the blankets below him into tight fists, throwing himself back at you to set a much harsher pace than you intended, forcing you to fuck him much harder. You leaned forward and reached around him, making him almost scream as you took his cock in your hand and pumped it at the same rough pace, quickly putting him over the edge and letting out a shrill cry that the whole ship no doubt heard as he came, shooting ropes of clear fluid over the blankets and dripping slick in a near constant flow that ran down his thighs and pooled at his knees. His cunt clamped down around you and you moaned as you felt your knot swell, panting hard as it popped and you unloaded inside him, Heat kneading at the blankets like a cat and purring as you filled his cunt with a heavy load of hot viable cum. After his heat he'd be given a tonic to keep him from falling pregnant, but for now you would continue to fill him as much as you physically could till he was sated and his body deemed him properly bred.

“Good boy Heat,” you panted, rubbing his back, “you did so good baby, I'm gonna move you now okay? We're gonna go to your left so you can lay down while I deflate, alright?”

Heat whined as you guided him to lay on his side, wrapping your arms around him and pressing kisses against his back. You heard the whimper of a cry as his scent turned foul with sadness, and you replied with your own soothing scent. “You're okay baby, you're okay,” you cooed, squeezing him tight, “you're no less a man, okay? This is just natural, you're just doing what your body needs. Just a few days and we'll get you your meds and you won't have to do this again okay? Be brave my love, can you do that for me?”

Heat sniffed and his head shifted as he nodded, twisting his fingers to interlock with yours over his stomach as his crying came under control. As soon as your knot deflated enough to pull out you turned him to face you and held him close to your chest, a fresh wave of tears washing over him as he pressed his nose against your scent gland desperately to release more of your comforting scent. You rubbed his back and let him get the feelings out, your heart hurting to see him in such a sorry state.

Once his tears settled you convinced him to let you go, retrieving food and water for both of you and returning to the nest to hold him while he ate slowly, having not much appetite given his current depressed mood. You kept him close afterwards so he could fall back asleep feeling safe and protected, both of you needing to save your energy before the next wave of the heat came along.

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆

It was towards the end of day three, the room thick with the smell of sex, both of you exhausted and covered in bruises and scratches and love bites, Heat laying with his head on your chest as you sang quietly to him and scratched his scalp. You'd barely just removed your knot after the last round, cum still dripping from his overfilled cunt.

“I think it might be over,” he sighed with relief, “my head feels clearer”

“I'm glad,” you hummed, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand you'd been holding, “your skin feels like it's finally cooling, how are you feeling?”

“Sore, but content,” he breathed. His head moved to rest his chin on your breast, looking up at you with those perpetually sad eyes. “I think… I think I still want it”

“More sex?” You questioned, “like, just for fun?”

“I mean yes,” he blushed, “but… I mean… your bite”

“Ohhh,” you replied, “oh. You.. you want me? To be your permanent alpha?” Heat nodded shyly and sat up, pulling you with him. He bared his neck with a small needy whimper, and you hesitantly brushed his pale blue hair out of the way, heart racing. You'd never even considered claiming an omega. Intersex alphas were considered damaged goods, nobody wanted them. They were thought to be less viable, less strong, less capable of defending an omega and her young. You thought though, maybe Heat felt the same. This shared insecurity made your relationship with him stronger, made him more comfortable with opening himself up to be vulnerable with you. You could see the blood pulsing in his throat as he presented it to you, his scent gland slightly inflamed as an after effect of the heat, and you couldn't help but run your tongue over your sharp teeth.

“Please,” Heat whined, taking your hand and pulling you closer. You wove your fingers with his and held his hand, and he squeezed it hard as you sunk your teeth into his scent gland, your eyes rolling and your cock twitching back to life as you felt the bond ignite, not yet fully formed though. You licked the wound as you pulled your teeth out, baring your own neck and inviting Heat to lay his own claim. A bond from only an alpha's bite was still viable, often forced during a heat, strong enough on its own to make the omega dependent on the alpha. To allow the omega to bite back, to be vulnerable and allow them their own link to feel what you felt, was a great mark of respect, usually done between lovers. Heat eyes were wide with surprise, looking unsurely at your neck.

“Are you sure?” He asked nervously.

“Claim me, Heat,” you pulled him close, laying down so he was on top of you, giving him back his power, “I wanna be yours.”

Heat whined and kissed you hard, moving to straddle your hips and reaching down between your bodies so he could line himself up, your words and the fresh bond making him needy for you again, this time of his own free will. His hormones were no longer in control of him, he wanted you as much as you wanted him. Asking for your bite had been an act of self preservation, he didn't feel like he could ever feel so safe and loved with another alpha, so having you claim him ensured only you would ever take care of him if this ever happened again. With how sweet you'd been, he was considering ditching the suppressants all together, just so he could have you in his nest again. But you asking for his bite? It was practically a declaration of love, you may as well have proposed to him, and he was eager to return all of that affection in equal droves.

He swallowed your moans as he rode you, making love to you as you ran your hands over his body with gentle caresses, lost in his taste on your tongue and the feeling of his warm cunt embracing you. He only pulled his mouth away from yours to pant, both of you breathing heavily as you held each other tight and looked into each other's eyes, watching each other carefully, eyes deep and swimming with pools of love and devotion. His eyes closed for a moment as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I'm close,” he groaned, hips losing momentum as his energy dissipated. You held his hips and thrust up into him, your own energy lacking but unable to stop yourself, powering through to bring you both to one last climax.

“Heat, claim me,” you whined, baring your neck invitingly for him, pulling him to you. You both let out harsh cries as his teeth sunk into your neck and the bond came to fruition, joint pleasure compounding through the link and crashing into you both like a freight train. You called each other's names as you both shook and came harder than you ever thought possible, your stomach wet with threads of Heat's thin cum as it released from his cock, abdomen drenched as he squirted on you, your knot popping inside him and locking your bodies together as you saw stars and painted his insides white. He collapsed against you, very nearly crushing you with his large frame, both of you twitching from aftershocks, which in turn would be felt by the other through the link and set of another aftershock, a chain reaction that left you both panting and writhing till you were able to pull out of him and lay him beside you.

You could feel his love through the bond as you looked at him, his eyes closed and face relaxed with content, feeling safe beside you. You held him close, his arms wrapping tightly around you, warm tingling felt through the mental link as you ran soft hands over each other's bodies, both feeling more accepted and loved than you could ever dream.

[mxanunnakiraymarquez]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello, this isnt really related to sex but to queerness so I figured it would still be under your expertise. Im 27 and intersex but AFAB and my journey to figuring out my gender has been all over the map my hole life. Already I had more T then other "little girls" so Ive always been androgenous but when I hit my teen years I started getting bullied for my more masculine traits like my voice, body hair and so on. My idea of gender was always just so very nonexistent and mattered so very little to me that I was always just kinda doing what other people did or wanted of me. Long story short I had a hyper fem phase to fit in and then I found out what being trans was and then had a hyper masc phase and decided to take T. I ended up stopping T at 20 (witch was honestly HARDER THEN GETTING ON IT FOR ME god the never-ending questions of "are you de-transitioning???" and my doctor outright refusing to let me make the choice for a while cause I didnt have "good enough reasons" to stop like ??? Girl what???) but I was really happy with what being on T did for me! Now tho I realize im non-binary and im fully embracing it! The issue im having now is navigating the world. I have a beard that I like, I have long curly hair, I love skirts and dresses (something I also wasnt allowed to wear as a transguy without again getting asked if I was "turning back into a girl"), I have boobs (kinda unfortunately, still working on that one but top surgery is hard to get when you have a bigger body :( ) but the looks I get from people in public are very hard to ignore. I have autism so its a bit hard for me to even notice or know why people are giving me dirty looks all the time but recently a friend of my said it might be my appearance and that I have a beard and boobs and am in a dress. I want to just ignore people and live my best life but I do wonder if I should just "pick one" ya know? My hole identity down to my anatomy fucks the binary but being a target is scary. Do you or your fallowers maybe have any advice?

hi anon,

listen. I say this sincerely from the bottom of my heart:

you should do whatever you want, forever. present literally however makes you comfortable. you don't exist to please other people or make them happy with your appearance, and your current look sounds honestly incredibly slay. your presentation is for you and you alone, truly fuck everybody else.

[velvetvexations]

I've been going down a rabbit hole because I had the thought that surely it'll be possible to come up with a source for where CASAB language came from, it simply isn't that old. (And I could feel the inevitable "you can look it up!" that ended up coming in the time it took me to look it up.) And I was totally wrong, the origin was either offline, never indexed, or on now dead blogs. But that doesn't mean I couldn't find anything.

Some initial context: there is a fair amount of SAAB, DSAB, and least frequently ASAB around 2010. The phrase "assigned x at birth" goes back to at least 2003. The earliest use I found of both the phrase and acronym CAMAB was Feb 20, 2012. More uses start showing up quickly. The arguments on if it came from intersex people or trans women start in months. Interestingly, arguments as early as late 2012 claim that it was always CASAB and that ASAB was a de-politicization. Admittedly, the first uses of the exact phrase and acronym that I can find are in trans contexts (although many of the earliest are discussing intersex people and the medical abuse they face as well).

I then tried to find more about the concept of coercive sex/gender assignment. The earliest I was able to find in a trans context was from Sept 2010. However, I do quickly find fairly prominent feminist texts discussing coercive surgery of intersex people, as well as intersex texts discussing the coerciveness of the sex binary, from 2004 and 1999, at least, respectively. So the concept of coercive assignment quickly goes back to intersex people, regardless the exact phrase CASAB. All of this was interesting! LMK if you want citations. And now I'm going to close this information with a bit of a pivot.

This is the language intersex people have been using to describe going through coercive surgery in an attempt to force them into the sex binary. Most modern dictionaries say it's either exclusively or primarily for intersex people. ASAB is used much more frequently in trans contexts. I think perhaps there should be a long period of thought before coming to the conclusion that it's so important to signal that all sex assignment is coercive that the group of people that have faced direct physical violence in order to uphold the sex binary needs to either be forced to use another term or have their experiences erased through conflation with perisex ones.

10/10 no notes anon, thank you for sharing this. I'll put it in the tags.

[tirfpikachu]

Oh we're doing radbrl hot takes? Gladly. I've been lurking on here for 5 years and I've things to say.

Sex dysphoria can be innate. It's rare and the ROGD is bullshit, but sex dysphoria is as real as other mental illnesses. We have Body Integrity Identity Disorder cases to prove that.

It's good to share more awareness to possible consequences and realistic outcomes of GRS + to the fact that it is a dangerous, experimental surgery that may not provide relief. But if you're arguing for banning it altogether you're insane. People have the right to bodily autonomy 100% of the time which includes the right to do dangerous and dumb shit to themselves. If you advocate for banning trans surgeries might as well sign your rights to tubal ligations away because they rely on the same fucking principle.

While we're on that topic you people treat detrans people like shit 90% of the time and only pretend to be normal about them to win detrans people over. Pick one. Also you refer to detrans peoples' surgeries with whichever term the person discussed uses. If they say it's mutilation, it's mutilation. If they say it helped, then it helped. Idgaf.

If I see one more radbrl account fakeclaiming autism (+ others) when it's a well-known factor women are underdiagnosed with it in ASTRONOMICAL NUMBERS I'm going to fucking snap. "But autistic men"- autistic men aren't on tumbrl or tiktok they're on Reddit. Next.

R-word usage. Spesks for itself.

Personality disordes (BPD, NPD, whatever) aren't "just hysteria". In a way that I believe they are because they're poorly named, understudied, disregarded and weaponised by psych industry. These diagnosed have been turned into a target on women's back it's true. And they're almost entirely truama-based. However people with these diagnosed do experience a specific set of issues and symptoms that can't be showed into CPTSD alone. Nuance. We're finally approaching the moment where we can give a name to (usually female-specific) responses to the extreme trauma caused by psychiatry and y'all aren't helping by saying it's fake.

Radbrl is rampatly pro-psych when you'd think they'd be against it and examined women's history with it. Any reasonable radical feminist should be at least psych-critical, end of.

Not done yet! 8) Q+ movement has completely screwed over actual asexual people in every way possible. But actual asexuality (what q+ would define as "aroace") is natural and normal. It's a way for nature to regulate population just like gay and bi sexualities are. Radbrl is both arguing that asexuality is inherently trauma based is just wrong and also borrowing conversion therapy rhetorics lol. 9) You can criticise annoying "ace" people all you want and they are partially responsible for LGB struggles right now but at the end of the day they're just teens on the Internet you're attacking for being traumatised and also even if it is trauma... So then what? They're obligated to recover from that now? How come? Towards which purpose? How would you personally benefit from their healing and that they have sex now? Most likely with men while being women? That what you want? Trauma recovery can be re-traumatising yk. Why'd you wish that on anyone. 10) Women abroad (especially woc) don't have radical feminsm (except maybe 4b which is more based on our rhetorics), they have normal feminism that hasn't been divided into lib and rad because rad is closer to the general feminism that the circus that libfem is. But you still use them as pawns lol. 11) Huge ableism problem, huge racism problem, huge intersexism problem as well. Not intersex so won't speak on that but oh god you're no better than TRAs sometimes. 12) American centrism despite claiming otherwise. 13) Radbrl is Not Immune to Russian Propaganda and can't understand ethnic dynamics in europe en-masse (ref to that one Ukraine poll where a russian radfem was more self-aware than everyone else. Embarrassing eh?) 14) The banwaves took most of the good ones and many TEHM voices that were important for us so now Radbrl is a pathetic shadow of what it used to be debate-wise and takes-wise. Most of discourse now is just regurgitating the same arguments. I haven't read something eye-opening or refreshing in a long while which is why I left. This isn't everything yet but I think others have already said other things I wanted to mention. Maybe I'll pop in later with part3

[intervex]

Cripintersex (intersex-disability survey results part 4)

Cripintersex: an intersex individual who considers the intersex community to be a member of the broader disability community and/or that intersex rights/justice should be considered part of the disability rights/justice movements. 💜

In the survey I recently ran where I asked people about candidate terms & flags for disability-intersex intersections, this was the overwhelmingly favoured candidate term for this meaning.

It had a weighted average score of 4.4 out of 5 (5 is strongly agree / highly suitable). Screenshot of spreadsheet is at bottom of this post. Part 1 (has a similar flag) - Part 2 (has analysis info) - Part 3

For the Discourse-Averse

Given this is Tumblr and the word crip has a way of evoking Discourse, multiple survey respondents and people in my notifications requested that a non-crip term ALSO be coined should cripintersex come out on top. Which it did.

I'm going to suggest sociodisabled as a term for identifying as part of the disability community, and politicodisabled as a term for identifying as part of the disability rights/justice movements more specifically. So intersex-sociodisabled would be sociodisabled on the basis of being intersex.

These terms weren't in the survey (alas!) but came out of a suggestion made in the open-ended feedback for sociodisintersex as a non-crip alternative. Thank you, anonymous respondent! 💜

I posted a similar-looking flag for this meaning in Part 1 of the survey results, that I'm tentatively thinking of as the intersex-sociodisabled flag. This flag is different in two ways: - it uses the stripes from the Crip Pride Flag - the yellow background and purple ring now match the yellow and purple used in the Crip Pride Flag (which I'm also hoping will help with eyestrain 🤞)

And now: Some Discourse

With that out of the way, I'd like to carefully point out a few things in good faith. I've been doing a bunch of thinking on this and reading a lot more about cripplepunk. 💜

Some folks have pushed back on the idea that crip would be appropriate for intersex on the grounds that "crip is for physical disabilities". I would gently like to respond that the most common interpretation of the term "physical disability" is a disability which affects the body (i.e. not mental). 🙂

If one is to understand intersex as a disability, and then try to categorize it as mental/physical/sensory, intersex would be a physical disability. Being intersex is a physical, embodied thing. It is not a gender. It is not a brain thing. It's a category of physical differences. Physicians understand us as physically disfigured and/or having a chronic condition. They consider us within the scope of teratology research, just like Down Syndrome and kyphoscoliosis.

This is why there's a long history of physicians using the term "cripple" to describe intersex people. Historically, intersex people have been understood to have a physical deformity. This language persists in modern medical literature: e.g. hypospadias cripple is still a formal diagnostic term being used in medicine. 😬

Those of us who understand intersex as disabling tend to be doing so because in ways that relate to how intersex is embodied. Intersex people who identify with disability because of the chronic pain they have as a result of IGM. Intersex people who have unstable hormones because of IGM. Intersex people who have needed accommodations to take time off from work/school for surgeries. Etc.

The reasons that intersex people like myself identify intersex as being in line with the disability community is because our rights struggles revolve around our bodies. Whether we get bodily autonomy. Whether we have to expose our genitals to doctors just for their curiosity. Whether we can access the medicines we need.

The controversy around crip tends to revolve around cripplepunk being explicitly for physical disabilities only.

The tenets of cripple punk that I see shared around state explicitly that: "Cripple punk is not conditional on things like mobility aids & 'functioning levels'" and "Always listen to those w/ different physical disabilities & different intersections than yourself. Do not speak over them"

To those of you who believe that crip(ple) should only be for physical disabilities, I ask you, in the spirit of cripplepunk, to consider that intersex, if understood as a disability, is a physical disability. Best I can tell, room is made in the cpunk community for chronic illness and chronic pain. Why not intersex also? 💜

As best as I understand it, the controversy about who is/isn't cripple largely centres on a sense that people with physical disabilities need space to talk about our experiences without neurodivergent people monopolizing the conversation. 👀

Intersex people participating in disability conversation are very aware that we are on the margins here. People like myself who are inclined to see intersex through a disability lens tend to have other disabilities - often mobility ones (I'm a part-time wheelchair user). I obviously can't speak for every intersex person out there, but from where I sit it seems really unlike that intersex people would "take over" the crip space.

Intersex may not be rare but it's also nowhere near as common as mobility disabilities or neurodivergence, and we're nowhere near as coordinated. As a community we are incredibly fractured, and still in the consciousness-raising days. We are not an organized threat, we're a bunch of people in pain, trying desperately to get doctors to stop performing coercive surgeries on our bodies. 🫤

For some of us, disability rights/justice looks like the best route to go to try and make that happen. I'm far from alone in feeling that the queer community has done an underwhelming job of advocating for our issues, and many of the gains we intersex people have gotten have come thanks to disability organizing.

It's maybe worth noting that a large number of intersex people are resistant to seeing intersex as a disability. Indeed, one survey respondent (out of 30) shared they found pretty much the whole survey to be offensive. This is not something that intersex people are united on. Intersex folks have a wide variety of feelings about where intersex best belongs (queer community, disability, both, neither, etc).

Crip is More than Cripple Punk

This post has ballooned in length but I do want to note a couple of other things about the term crip:

Others have already pointed this out, but crip and cripple in practice are not being used the same ways, and it may be productive to think of them as different words.

"Crip" was reclaimed as a pan-disability term, starting in the 1970s. It made its way into the performing arts in the 90s, and then academic crip theory from there. This activist tradition has been using crip in a pan-disability sense for a long time at this point -- much longer than cripplepunk (coined 2014). Terms like crip time and crip labour come from this pan-disability framework.

Crip continues to be a pan-disability organizing term, such as in #CripTheVote and Crips for eSims for Gaza. Tumblr may skew towards cripplepunk but other spaces lean a lot more towards the pan-disability context - all of the in-person activism I've participated in has uncontroversially understood crip as pan-disability. 🤷

Honestly, I'm not sure what is best going forward when it comes to the cripple usage question. 😵‍💫 Crip is a word with a very well established pan-disability sense.

And it's clear from the survey responses that it resonates with the vast majority of disabled intersex respondents. I didn't think to ask people why - I can only guess that some individuals identified with crip out of the pan-disability sense, and others out of a sense that intersex is a physical disability.

For anybody who wants a breakdown of the ratings of the candidate terms, here are the averages (weighted so people who identified with a given use case / column had a bit more of a "vote"). The use case of intersex-in-disabilty-community is the column titled "COMM".

As always, my flag designs are public domain unless otherwise noted. You are 100% welcome to repost the flag and its definition without all my Discoursing.

I have one more post to write up in this series! We're nearly done! 😅 Thank you for reading, thanks once again to the survey respondents, @scifimagpie, and I'd also like to thank the archival blogs I keep tagging repeatedly for this 💜

Tagging for archival @disabilityflagsarchive @radiomogai @liom-archive @varsex-pride @radiomogai

[cnjosephs]

POLARIS TRANS*

A poem for Pride. Continued under the read more.

As I grew from a little girl to a teenage boy, They said I should call myself trans*, with a star at the end: A star for something unfinished; a star for possibility.

As I grew from a teenage boy to a femme young adult, They said I should call myself trans, with no star at the end: That the star’s sharp points only served to cut and divide.

As I grew from a femme to a gloriously butch dykefag, I thought again about the star of my youth And about all the things it can stand for:

Trans* is for transgender— It’s for language that grows and shifts Like a living being; like a tree; like a child; For Sylvia’s Transgender Action Revolutionaries And for the kids at their high school GSA Walking into the club with their hearts in their hands.

Trans* is for transgressive— It’s for shattering expectations Shattering societies, boundaries, and binaries Like panes of fractured glass; The glass was breaking already, you know, But now we can turn it into a mosaic.

Trans* is for transsexual— It’s for those who pick up an old word That they’ve been told is “outdated” And brush the scorn off of it Like dust off of fine China To display it with pride on the shelf.

Trans* is for transformation— It’s for the little girls who became men, For the little boys who became women, For everyone who became everything, For everyone who became nothing, For everyone who became.

Trans* is for transvestite— It’s for shedding the skin you were forced into Like a snake shedding too-tight scales And growing something that fits you better; Making something new and beautiful, Wearing something beautiful and yours.

Trans* is for transitory— It’s for those of us whose gender shifts Like the phases of the moon; For people who fall asleep a femme fag And wake up a butch dyke And repeat the process again in a week.

Trans* is for tranny— It’s for picking up the stick they beat you with And sharpening it to a spear; Holding it up to defend yourself, To defend your kin, and saying: “You really wanna mess with us?”

Trans* is for those who reject the New Queer Binary— Who answer “Are you transfem or transmasc?” With an annoyed “Neither, actually”; Whose gender is not silence, but absence of noise; For men who are also women, For lesbians who are also gay men; For people so outside the binary That “nonbinary” feels like a chain around their throat; Maybe you can’t be cis and trans But I know you can be cis and trans*, And I know that you can’t draw a line between genders Like the respectable queers pretend you can.

Trans* is for all of us— For boydykes and girlfags, For queens and kings and crossdressers, For masculine women and feminine men, For my oft-excluded intersex darlings; For FTMs who wear suits and MTFs who wear gowns, For MTFs who wear suits and FTMs who wear gowns; For those on hormones and those who eschew them, For those who change their name and those who don’t; For those who want surgery to get a penis or a vagina, And those who want surgery to get both, And those who want surgery to have nothing.

Trans* is for everyone who marked the path we walk on now— It’s for Lili and Dr. Barry, For Roberta and Christine, For Marsha and Sylvia, For Stormé and Miss Major, For Leslie and Lou; And for so many others whose names we do not know Because they were blessed with the safety of privacy Or cursed with the violence of erasure.

If you asked me to name trans-with-a-star I’d tell you to call them Polaris Trans* The gender-variant community’s guiding light.

Trans* tells us where to go— To follow the paths cut by our predecessors, While keeping their drive to explore untrodden ground. To offer our hands for each other: Both to raise each other up when we fall And to fight when we’re under attack.

Trans* tells us who we are— We are faggots and dykes and sissies and queens, We are a bunch of rowdy queers who won’t shut up; We are armed with bottles and glasses, With bats and pens, with guns and paint; We are the people who have only survived Because when nobody would take care of us, When respectable queers treated us like a stain on their flag, We took care of each other.

Trans* tells us who to be— It tells us that we must be so brave and so strong, And so scared and so soft. That we must save our anger for those who hurt us, And not turn it on each other. That we must hold each other accountable for harm, But understand we are all flawed humans, And that mistakes are not unforgivable. That we must not hurt our trans* siblings For daring to be trans* in a way we cannot understand, And that you don’t need to know exactly what stars are made of To love how they shine in the sky.

Historical Notes

The figures referred to in the thirteenth stanza are, in order: Lili Elbe, Dr. James Barry, Roberta Cowell, Christine Jorgensen, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Stormé DeLarverie, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Leslie Feinberg, and Lou Sullivan.

Sylvia Rivera is the same Sylvia mentioned in stanza four. In the 1970s, Sylvia and Marsha founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries together. They provided housing and care for homeless gay and trans* youth while working towards broader goals of achieving trans* liberation. Sylvia and Marsha kept their kids fed and housed through funds they raised via sex work. 

Sylvia would later say that the death of STAR came at the 1973 Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade, where trans* activists were told they couldn’t speak on stage. Sylvia and drag queen Lee Brewster physically fought their way to the stage and criticized the gay community for abandoning the trans* community after the trans* community had spent years fighting for rights for all of them. Lesbian activist Jean O’Leary verbally attacked them both, claiming that drag was “misogynistic” and “demeaning”, and that trans* people had no place in the gay rights movement. Receiving such a devastating rejection from people Sylvia had considered friends pushed her out of working in activism for many years. 

Marsha was tragically murdered in 1992 at the age of 47. Eight years later, in response to the murder of trans woman Amanda Milan, Sylvia resurrected STAR as the Street Transgender Action Revolutionaries. While Marsha and Sylvia were both integral to the initial work of STAR, I refer to it as “Sylvia’s” in the fourth stanza to make it clear I’m referring specifically to the later incarnation, which used “transgender” in their name. You can read more about Sylvia’s life in her essay “Queens in Exile, the Forgotten Ones”, written just before her fiftieth birthday in 2001. The closing paragraphs of the essay are, in my mind, both a profoundly valiant rallying cry and an agonizing indictment of our community’s failures:

Before I die, I will see our community given the respect we deserve. I'll be damned if I'm going to my grave without having the respect this community deserves. I want to go to wherever I go with that in my soul and peacefully say I've finally overcome. Editor's Note: Sylvia died on February 19, 2002, from complications of liver cancer. She was 50 years old. 

[your-queer-dad]

Hi! (Not calling you "dad" because I have trauma from an older guy forcing me to call him "Daddy".) I have a bit of a situation...How do I navigate this? For the last several years, I have been "best friends" with someone who is pretty much a HUGE part of the trans/LGBT community and fight for rights in our area. She herself is a trans woman. It's in quotes because the longer I know her, the more red flags and toxic traits seem to bubble up and that is someone you normally wouldn't see as a best friend. BUT I cannot end the friendship or call her out on it as she could easily have me disallowed from LGBT events throughout our entire area. It started pretty early on; she basically refused to see me as a man (I am closeted trans masc/male) in public because "I have made no effort to come out or LOOK like a man!". I am closeted because our area/my family tend to be very unsafe for trans folks and I cannot afford to move out of my parents' house right now. That progressed to her calling me "trans-trender" because I don't feel dysphoria, intend on being super femme even after I am able to transition, and don't want bottom surgery. (Top surgery and a hysto would be perfect for me.) From there, she's constantly going on about how trans men/masc folks are gross because we bleed every month and how trans femme/women who don't get bottom surgery are undeserving of support and are "gross and undesirable". (For what it's worth, I met her when she was still living as a man and always supported and loved her fully. She forgets she didn't just magically transition over-night...) But lately, it's reached a point that I don't think she could redeem herself in my heart anymore. (I am so used to being abused that her previously mentioned behaviors don't hurt as much as they should.) I met a really amazing person (also trans masc) and we have become inseparable and, during one of our more intimate chats, they came out to me as intersex which lead to a longer, more in-depth conversation about their body/identity which ended with me giving them links to things for support that I knew of but of course, I am not intersex so there's not much I could offer. So, I went to my so-called "friend" and asked her for some resources in the bigger cities since my other friend recently relocated for work. I have regretted that choice since... She launched into a whole thing about how "intersex people are being greedy by also being trans" and then DEFENDED the surgeries done on many intersex babies "because it doesn't happen THAT much and besides, the parents have to consent to it so it's not like it's a dirty little secret!" She's been stuck on that for a couple days which concerns me deeply because usually she "Drops it" after a couple hours. I am sorry for the ramble but this is running through my brain like a train and I just needed to put my thoughts out there. Posting anonymously just in case she sees this.

Hey kiddo, please don't apologise it's okay. I'm always here to listen and give support where I can. She sounds like a really hard friend to be around and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with that. She completely ignored and invalidated yours and your friend's gender identity, that isn't fair even if she is trans herself. I'm so sorry kiddo. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[intersex-questions]

I have a question to ask! What small, more subtle things would indicate that you are intersex? I wanted to ask because I'm sure that you get asked about genitals a lot and I wanted to move away from invasive and intrusive questions about genitals as I'm using intersex blogs and interACT as a way to do research about character headcanons. I'm also seeing if some of my own OC's could be intersex, which is weird and all and I apologize for that. Thank you for your time and you don't have to answer at all if you don't want to for any reason!

Thanks for sending in this question! It's a great question to ask. And you have nothing to apologize for.

I'd like to first clarify that on this blog, I personally WELCOME invasive questions. As long as they're not me/not about my body, I am more than happy to answer questions about genitalia and stuff like that. I am very passionate/interested in the human body, genitalia, and sexology so questions like that don't bother me at all. Many people have questions, and it can be very hard to research them on your own. Knowing how to research is a skill many don't have, and there's often conflicting sources about intersex people and bodies. So on this blog, I am a-okay with pretty much any questions. If I didn't feel comfortable or able to answer, I'd say so.

I'd also like to say it is not weird at all to be doing this research for character headcanons and for OCs. In fact, it's something that makes me really happy and touched you're doing that. Very few characters exist that are intersex, and I very rarely see intersex headcanons for preexisting characters and when I do they're almost exclusively represented in R34 or with both a usable penis/vulva (ovotesticular syndrome/"""true hermaphroditism""" (politically incorrect/offensive don't use that)) which IS a thing that happens, but it's usually the only form of intersex that's represented. I personally have a lot of intersex headcanons and that involves their genital situations. Some people might find that odd, but I find it interesting. It isn't inherently sexual. It's like--if you have transgender headcanons, your headcanon might involve if they've had any surgeries to their chest/breasts or any surgeries to their genitalia, and if so what surgeries. That isn't seen as invasive or bad, it's just headcanons for fun. That's how I feel about intersex headcanons. I would like to see more people with super thought out headcanons that extend to all the aspects of their body!

Now to answer your original question: there are a LOT of things you can use to subtly (or not subtly) indicate a character is intersex!

Since you're specifically asking without considering genitalia (primary sex characteristics), the other way being intersex can often noticably present is through secondary sex characteristics. One way to define secondary sex characteristics is traits associated with a specific sex but not inherent to the reproductive system. Some examples (in humans) include:

Facial hair (associated with male)

Breasts (associated with female)

Body shape/build (height--male is associated as taller and female as shorter typically, hips--female is associated with wider and men with thinner)

Deepness of voice (associated with male)

Many secondary sex characteristics in people is determined by how your body has been affected by testosterone or estrogen. Many intersex people who were assigned male at birth or raised male/believing they were a perisex (non-intersex) male may have lower levels of testosterone and/or elevated levels of estrogen. This can lead to certain traits--less body hair, higher voice, gynecomastia (breast development in non transgender men/people assumed to be men), lack of a traditional or "correct" puberty, etc.

Many intersex people who were assigned female at birth or raised female/believing they were perisex female might experience the other end of it. They may have higher levels of testosterone and/or lower levels of estrogen. They may have more body hair, deeper voice, smaller breasts, and the same things with puberty.

If you're looking to avoid any specific variations of being intersex, playing around with secondary sex characteristics is, in my opinion, a good way to indicate this. However, it's also important to note that these differences in secondary sex characteristics can also come about from being on HRT for trans+ reasons, so if you aren't explicit, many people may interpret a character as a perisex trans+ person.

There are absolutely perisex people who experience differences in their secondary sex characteristics in a way that isn't caused by HRT and it's important to acknowledge that.

It's also important to note MANY intersex people also have nothing that makes them "externally" appear as intersex. They may have little to no variations in secondary sex characteristics. The ways their variation may affect their body may be little to none. Being intersex is a very, VERY broad spectrum so it's impossible to give any one answer to how to indicate a character is intersex because every single intersex experience is different.

Some intersex people have medical conditions or disabilities that correlate to their intersex variation. You'd have to research depending on each specific variation, but portraying them with these conditions can show a character is intersex.

You can also just show things through pride stuff--if you're going for realism, if it's in character, the character might wear pride merch. However, that isn't in character or realistic for many situations (some characters might exist in a world where pride/pride flags/etc doesn't exist as a concept, some characters might not be the type to do that, etc).

Being intersex can also be hinted at or discussed in other ways. It can be relevant to a character's story. It can be hinted at or indicated in dialogue by other characters or the character themself. Subtle hints can be shown--if there's ever a medical situations, a shot could have medical information that shows variations out of the "norm", something like their chromosomes, etc.

Portraying intersex narratives and storylines is something I would love to see more of. It doesn't have to be a big thing for a character, but sometimes it is and it's relevant to a character arc!

I don't think I answered the best and might have been all over the place, so if you have more questions feel free to send them in an ask OR you can DM me (or ask me for my Discord) and I'm happy to discuss this more!