#Emotional scars

[agentrouka-blog]

Sometimes I think GRRM is much more sensitive to Sansa than he is to Dany, regarding their dynamics with older men.

I think he's trying to say something about Dany by the way she perceives these men and their interactions, and not in an unsympathetic way.

The Stark children aren't somehow inherently better or "made different" than other characters in the series. We see them face horrible things, but often times we also see them magically spared from sharing a fate that is depicted happening to their mirrors. Take the miller's sons dying in the place of Bran and Rickon. Take the horrible tales of rape and murder that Arya only ever overhears. Take Lollys vs. Sansa during the riots. Some of it is happenstance, some of it is their noble status, some of it is prior relationships, some of it is simply plot armor.

But the key of their emotional resiliance lies in the fact that their parents loved them, modeled a reasonably stable and loving marriage, and raised them with attention and principles. They were not perfect by far, and utterly products of their time, but they were solid and they were present. The Stark children have a sense of how the world can work and they have a sense of self that is fairly secure, even through hardship.

Characters like Dany, or Tyrion, or Cersei, tend to become what they are because they are not spared in key ways. And they did not have that crucial foundation.

Dany is not raised lovingly. She is not spared marital rape. She has no home to cling to in her memories, no model of healthy family dynamics - and literally no one who ever bothers to try and genuinely help her for her own sake.

So she doesn't know what healthy dynamics are. Not true justice, not consent, not a relationship of equals, not genuine tenderness. She can't take refuge in her inner child, she killed her in chapter three. She has no healthy outlet for her grief and her rage. She has no concept of a happy future that isn't tied to power. She has no framework for a different reality. And that is what we see play out in her arc. And that is also why her relationships with men are depicted as they are. The misery she experiences in reality is unmitigated by even a sense of injustice and validation of her pain by anyone around her. So she erases that misery from her reality. She invents an uneasy pretense of equality based on her queenship and later her dragons that leaves her feeling empty and powerless without understanding why.

She may never ever understand why.

It's a tragedy. It's the tragedy, that, I think, GRRM is trying to tell through her. She should have been given help. Any scrap of love, and she may not have become what she did.

So when Sansa is spared and emotionally survives on a privilege of having been loved, we must also imbue her character with the obligation to pass it on, to show mercy, to love, to help. Same with the rest of the Starks.

And when they fail, like Robb did, they will not prosper.

[ruminate88]

Feeling awful and getting into a healthy relationship after emotional abuse ❤️‍🩹

1/14/25 You gotta learn to love yourself 🌹

If you think you feel bad when you’re being discarded by that toxic person, I promise you that you feel just as bad or worse after the fact, and it’s like this nagging feeling underneath the surface that you can’t seem to explain to yourself or anyone else but you just consistently feel bad most of the time although I have had moments where I do feel fine.

I blocked my ex Andrew and it was so confusing. I’m the one who broke up with him, but he didn’t seem upset at all and it hurt like hell for me. It made no sense but he wouldn’t leave me alone either!! He kept messing with me 😝 I met my husband directly after that and got married. I was trying to get away from Andrew, but also I felt my husband was the nicest guy I’ve ever met and I thought I would be completely stupid not to marry him…. (But was I even in love?? 🥺)

My husband has been working since he was 18 and had money saved up and was looking for a wife and of course I felt bad that he met me because I was hung up on Andrew and I didn’t think that was fair to my new man, but it was really out of my control because Andrew just had this hold on me and I can’t explain it. Something I didn’t understand is that in feeling bad from the emotional abuse, you just feel so unworthy and undeserving because you’ve been hated on and criticized so long that it’s hard for you to accept when someone does treat you good.

My husband’s way to show love, of course, is to buy gifts or to take me somewhere nice and it’s been hard for me to accept all this because I just feel bad for him doing it . It makes me uncomfortable, and I’ve tried to express it to him without hurting his feelings because he doesn’t know how else to show his love for me. At one point in our marriage, he took me on my “dream vacation” and I didn’t know why he was doing it. It was foreign to me and I just felt so disconnected but I was trying so hard to be grateful and excited!! on this trip, my husband says I can buy a souvenir, but I don’t know it’s frustrating because I don’t wanna feel like his child but yet I also don’t wanna take advantage of him. I never had a man buy me stuff like this or treat me this good and I just don’t know how to react to it. There is this jacket there I really really liked but it was like $130 or something crazy and of course I’m not going to get it. I think that’s too expensive but my husband says it’s OK if I buy that jacket. 😳😳😳😳 he’s not rich, but he knows we’re on vacation and he knows that I’m not gonna buy a lot of stuff because I don’t do that. During this time I have been texting his mom to share pictures of the store we were at because it was decorated for Christmas and I show her the jacket and of course now she’s telling me to absolutely get it that my husband will not mind to buy that for me and she says that I can have whatever I want!!!! 🧐🤔😝 (she says I’m worth him spending the money on 😭😭😭)

Me being so disconnected and uncomfortable with all of it, I refuse to get the jacket because I just feel bad and I can’t explain to everyone why I feel so bad about myself, but I’m just terrified to hurt my husband or to get hurt by him too . I did buy a nice shirt that was still quite a bit of money, but it wasn’t no $130. My husband and I don’t spend crazy amounts of money often. This was because we were on vacation which is fine with me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it and I was just very taken back by his mom also trying to convince me to buy this jacket…. She says I should’ve just got it!!

I don’t regret not getting the jacket because I would’ve been too uncomfortable to wear it even though it was extremely cute and my husband literally kept saying just get it, if that’s what I want ha ha WTF? No man has ever treated me this way ever besides my dad and at the same time, I just wanna feel like I’m in love with somebody. I just wanna feel connected and close, you know??? I thought I was having this deep connection with my ex Cody and once he ghosted me, I’ve never been able to feel that kind of connection since 😭😭💔 it really messed with me and I’m just trying so hard to maneuver and get over it all and trust again Because I do think my husband‘s a really great person and means well. I don’t think he was ever trying to make me uncomfortable. I think he just feels that I’m his wife and he wants to buy me stuff but it’s just foreign to me!!

Also, I was the family caretaker most of my teens and young adult life. ❤️‍🩹🌹 I was always the one taking care of everybody else and so I guess it’s just hard to let other people do stuff for me now or buy stuff for me when, I’m used to being the one doing it… My first boyfriend I ever had at 18, let me pay for everything!!! so I’ve never had a guy pay for me and I just don’t wanna take advantage of my new man. I’m sure he’s frustrated when I’m pushing him away like that when all he’s trying to do is be nice and show his love by buying me something nice but I’ve tried so hard to explain to him that it makes me feel bad when he does that. I don’t know why it makes me feel so bad AND why don’t I think I deserve it?? 😝😝😝🤔

Healing from emotional abuse is also learning to love yourself 🌹🌹🌹 something I’ve never done before. I’ve always loved deeply and I’ve always obsessed these men who put me in one-sided relationships and they never care about me in return. they just take and take from me. …. One day, I’ll be able to feel better I believe that and I just have to be patient and compassionate with myself, but it’s easy to judge myself and beat myself up. It’s easier to judge myself more than my exes because their actions are out of my control. I can only control my own actions. ❤️‍🩹

[destiel-wings]

do you ever rewatch a scene or see a gifset or read a line and think, "oh god, dean and I are the same, I'm dean 😭"

[peninhand11]

He wanted to see her depth.

She showed him, her scars.

It was the last time he talked to her.

[beautifulbookishdisaster]

He might not beat the shit out of his kids, but they both wear emotional scars with his name on them.

Katee Robert, Dark Restraint

[yasyassie]

Not even halfway through this mf and it has made me sob (twice)

[mitaharukai]

Title: A scar is born

Day 7: Scars

Ship: Yae x Sara (Genshin Impact)

Summary: Some days, the stories written behind the scars on her body are too hard to bear. But luckily Yae will be there to help Sara go through the day.

Words: 2.7k

Sneak peek:

“A certain pink haired priestess can’t help but watch this exchange from afar with a fond yet sad smile adorning her features, her heart clenching painfully at the pained expression replacing the usual solemn general’s features.

She can’t help but observe Sara, the distant look on her mesmerizing golden eyes gazing into the horizon, before closing her eyes to try and find some peace to the deep scars of her soul tormenting her.

She notices how the stiff position Sara adopts whenever she’s knelt in front of the centenarian tree is nothing but loose, her shoulders slumped as her hands fall to her sides to clench a handful of dirt beneath her into a tight fist.

Sadness washes over the priestess as she observes Sara getting lost in her thoughts, giving the warrior time and space until she needs comfort.”

[artisticdivasworld]

Childhood Trauma and its Effects on Adults

Childhood trauma can have profound and lasting effects on individuals as they grow into adulthood. The experiences and events that occur during childhood shape our development and can significantly impact our emotional, psychological, and physical well-being later in life. In this article, we will explore the effects of childhood trauma on adults, the potential long-lasting consequences, and the…

[allthehumanflaws]

Scars

Torture me Maim me Mutilate me For I will take that pain happily Tear me apart limb by limb Throw me to the wolves Slit my wrist or Hang me from a noose For these scars will show won't they These will show the world I hurt Pain courses through my veins Emotional scars don't matter much do they They never signify pain It's all in your head they say Those scars don't even hurt Then why does the shatter of the heart resound louder than that of glass Why do these mental scars bleed so much more than those on my hands They don't matter much But they hurt so much more Why would you worry about something that doesn't even show So hurt me physically In all the ways I've been hurt emotionally To see if they would care then And till that day comes I'll sit here in the pool Of my imaginary blood Hoping for a day They care about a broken heart As much as they care about a broken bone

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

this deeply explains why's he terrified of commitment

[ruminate88]

Gonna miss 2024 😢 but it’s time to cross over to the next chapter 📖

12/27/24

I’m not gonna lie, I’m gonna miss my “hibernation hole” I created in 2024. The countless hours I spent alone this year with music and reflection. The pen as my sword. Wow it’s been the most long, emotional and painful year as I faced old demons but it’s also been the most insightful so far.(the best is yet to come) The lessons I realized as well as the growth. I’m not healing to be someone new but to better myself and better understand humanity. The compassion I’ve been working on gaining and becoming a softer person with a softer more gentle love. i don’t wanna be cold like my exes were towards me but the only way I can ever be warm again is to open back up and let real love back in ❤️‍🩹🌹🌹🌹🌹I need to step out of the darkness and into the light. Stop holding back out of fear.

I don’t know what is coming in 2025 but I’ve been sensing change awhile now. For months I saw the number 44 and 333. Also 1111. Plus kept seeing the name Andrew and saw red cardinals. Also a red car every where…. (Andrew had a red car when I was talking to him) All feels to me like I’m truly creating the closure I’ve needed for so long and to release Andrew once and for all. I held onto him in my heart scared to let go because of the trauma bonding and my comfortability. I didn’t wanna accept him for who he is and didn’t wanna accept the betrayal. I wanted him to love me back and he just can’t… he’s never came back nor will he ever be able to give me a true apology or closure. So I’ve had to create it all in my mind and heart alone. ❤️‍🩹 it’s been a hard thing for me…. But I don’t wanna hold onto him and miss out on the life I actually want . Don’t let people tell you, “Oh you just have to get over it.” No… it’s a process you have to walk out. Forgiveness is a daily walk.

[ruminate88]

I’ve been here 😳 One minute you’re numb then suddenly someone says something and inside of you , you’re just like “HOLD IT TOGETHER” cuz the flood gates opening wide…. Here comes the water works buuuut you manage to breathe up your nose and hold it all in lol

reminder: crying is good ❤️‍🩹🫶🏻 for so long I couldn’t cry cuz I was numb but when you feel it, let it happen 🙏🏻🥺 but I do it alone so I can scream and really release it

[thedaveandkimmershow]

January 31, 2025: Linzy's music career is so extensive and her compositions so prolific that those compositions are like tree rings for us. 

We know the year, the place in her personal narrative, the conditions under which a specific song was written. Not every one. But definitely her hits across the years.

That insight is definitely more obvious to us anytime she deep dives into her catalogue, anytime she pulls one out of the vault as she did last night at the Rabbit Box Theater, Pike Place Market, performing with Amanda Winterhalter and Sean Kelly with everyone letting loose their songwriting prowess on stage to fans of all three who filled this wonderful venue.

There's definitely an overlap between all three songwriters and, because of age and life experience, the differences in each one's approach to the same human story is profound. Sean Kelly zeroes in on the transition from teen to young adulthood. Amanda Winterhalter is inspired by a literary tradition, who's style definitely evokes Americana or "gothic" Americana or Melancholy Americana as suggested by an audience member. And then there’s Linzy, filling in the narrative and emotional space inbetween.

All in all, the evening represented a breathtaking spectrum of experience and insight from down at the dark end of the pool of human experience.

We’ve been to the Rabbit Box before for an incredible Midnight High show. This is, hands down, a city treasure, this venue. What we didn’t realize... is that this evening would take us by surprise as no other Linzy performance has in recent memory. Don’t get me wrong, we’re incredibly energized by all her shows. Blown away by her performances as a member of The Little Lies. When she's on stage with Midnight High. When she's presenting pop/rock covers from the sixties to this decade at restaurants and lounges and wineries as Linzy Collins on acoustic guitar. Even the rare occasion her brand and band, Dream Patrol, makes a public appearance with its wild mix of techno, pop, club, and sound design.

Last night, though, Linzy took us back to the time before these professional pursuits, these different revenue streams (as managers call them). Back to a time when she was writing... but not performing at the level of or with the performing schedule she currently wields.

These were songs from a particular slice of her narrative. From her Cornish College of the Arts years to just before she joined The Little Lies.

These songs are all acoustic pieces. If I remember correctly, as many on guitar as on piano, both kinds of which she presented last night. The Rabbit Box Theatre actually had an upright piano on stage with which she accompanied herself.

It really was a trip down memory lane. Mostly a lovely one because even those songs born of heartbreak or betrayal no longer bear the terrible pain of that heartbreak or betrayal. They are experiences observed from extended time and emotional distance. And the compositions that persist in the aftermath of those experiences, well, in some ways it’s as if they’re safely displayed behind glass.

As far as music sets go, this one was one of her strongest. You see, some of these songs, the ones she performed on piano, were meant for a musical she intended to compose while in college. What happened instead is that she wrote a lot of the music without ever getting around to the story. So there are all these orphaned songs that, because they were meant for a stage with cast and sets and orchestra, are more epic in scale. These are songs written on a huge canvas. And the music, and the lyrics, reflect this higher plane of existence. I don’t know how else to put it.

Somehow, these songs are more. They imply a larger universe at work.

And it’s been a long, long time since we heard them.

What’s very sweet about this evening is that Linzy took my suggestion to perform one of the most heartbreaking songs she’s ever written. It’s a song about standing by someone in the midst of depression. And what’s fascinating about the song is that it was a classroom exercise. An exercise, assigned by the teacher, to write a song without choruses. Verses only.

And so she wrote the song, at the time titled “For You”.

Was it drawn from her own life or someone she knew at the time?

No.

She simply composed it, performed it for her teacher, and moved on with her life.

Over the years, though, I continued to listen to it because it’s just so incredibly deep and moving. And so with a songwriter’s show coming up, I asked Linzy if she’d consider it.

And she said yes.

Oof. BIG mistake.

Wait. Why?

Because even though the song isn’t about a single experience... it attaches readily to every experience with depression whether that experience is personal or through close relationship. And, on any given day, someone we know will come to mind when a song like this shines a spotlight. 

For Linzy, this happened on stage at The Rabbit Box in front of an audience.

She was shaken by the song she was singing as she was singing it. The tears flowed of their own accord.

I didn’t catch it right away. I realized she dropped a line at the end of the first verse. It was only during the second verse that I and everyone else realized she was struggling right there on stage... which captured the song in a way it could not otherwise be presented. 

I’ve only heard one other performance like this. A long time ago I saw Mandy Patinkin perform “I Dreamed a Dream”. It’s a song that's incredibly heartbreaking and normally invested with a vocal power that carries an audience along with it as it scales emotional heights. Patinkin’s performance goes the other way. He lets the brokenness written into the music inform a fragile emotion that sustains... just barely.

His interpretation doesn’t carry you. His interpretation draws you in. 

It definitely drew me in.

And I think this is the experience of Linzy’s performance on stage last night. The power she invests here doesn't come from emotional heights. It doesn't come from crescendo or full-throated expression.  It comes from sustaining… just barely. It comes from teetering along an emotional edge. It comes from the awfulness of human moments in which we’re either captured or someone we love is captured by depression and we don't know.

We don't know...

What's gonna happen because this is a hostage taking without ransom and there’s little we can do about it.

When Linzy wrote this song back in college, she titled it “For You”. From this performance moving forward, she calls it

“There's A War”

There's a war that I can't fight for you There's a storm comin' pretty soon And I can't make you stand your ground But I'll be there to hold you when you're down There's a war that I can't fight for you

There's a song that I can't sing for you There's a melody but I can't hold the tune And I'll try my best 'cause I can't say no But darlin' you gotta let it go There's a song that I can't sing for you

There's a home that I can't be for you There's a road that I can't find my way to And I can't really change your mind But if you've gotta grieve we'll give it time There's a home that I can't be for you

There's a heart that I can't know for you There's an ocean well that you have fallen into But I'll pull you out of the dark and deep And I'll try to give you what you need There's a heart that I can't know And a home that I can't be There's a song that I can't sing There's a war That I can't fight

[icedogg23]

Trauma, What?!

Trauma is the effect that Veterans often have to learn that they have, while not knowing that they have it or often deny that they have it. “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, experiencing or witnessing violence, death of a loved one, war, and more. (APA.org)” “WHAT THE F*&% IS WRONG WITH YOU…

[sognareleggiesogna]

REVIEW TOUR: Soulsong of Us di Kyra Synd

Cari Sognatori, Rosanna, in anteprima di uscita, ha letto il nuovo music romance scritto da Kyra Synd !!! GENERE: Music romance DATA DI PUBBLICAZIONE: 7 gennaio 2025 EBOOK-KU / CARTACEO Affiliati Amazon La cantante e il chitarrista di una band gothic metal. Un’anima imprigionata nel silenzio che ritrova voce nella musica. Sapranno spezzare le catene del passato per amarsi? «Io esisto solo nella…

[metawriter]

You don't have to do it alone. The Lord has said, My righteousness is near. My salvation has gone forth. And my arms will judge the peoples; the coast lands will wait upon me, and on my arm they will trust. Isaiah 55:11 says the word of God will always fulfill its purpose. We never have to be alone. Call on Jesus and glorify God for His presence