thedaveandkimmershow

[thedaveandkimmershow]

In the bad 'ol days of my youth I never understood this.

"Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world."

Okay why?

I couldn't understand, okay, he sees his headstone and freaks out? Like he didn't know he was gonna die some day? No matter what?

That seemed like a stretch.

Great story. Great ending. Just never bought the motivation.

'Course that's just once upon a time Me drawing a straight line from the headstone to the transformation when in fact, the ghosts remind Scrooge he was once a person who embraced life, embraced love, who through circumstance became the antithesis of that life and love. He's shown the potential value of his life in the grand scheme, what a difference he could make. And it's revealed to him the inevitable end to the path he's so far embraced.

Which 'causes him to "spontaneously" reclaim his former self, the incentive is so high.

So yeah. A much bigger story than I once understood and am continuing to understand as we return to the films and the text each year. It's an unplanned, decades long academic-ish study for which I receive no credit, no benefit other than further understanding. And further understanding. To the point where the full transformation that happens over night, a transformation that sustains to the end of Scrooge's life... makes clear, abundant sense. I buy it.

Took me long enough.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Right now, this very minute, there are presents under our tree.

There are fully wrapped presents under our tree.

There are even a couple presents tucked between the side of our piano and the arm chair next to it 'cause these ones wouldn't fit under the tree.

These aren't ours, actually. They're for friends who are coming over later today. Our friends and their kids. But still.

It's fun to see presents under the Christmas tree even when the Christmas tree itself isn't fully decorated.

Right now, this very minute, the tree's strung with white lights. The tree is draped with a 4-inch wide gold ribbon wrapped around the tree from top to bottom.

Ornaments is what's missing. And that's a today thing. It's on the list along with setting the front of our house (mostly along the gutters) with Christmas lights.

Back to presents, though, 'cause it's a fun topic.

There are also our presents hidden in different rooms of the house. I have the ones Santa's gonna bring Kimmer stashed in different places waiting to be wrapped. I don't have a plan for the wrapping yet. It's on the to-do list with a deadline of before I go to bed Christmas Eve.

Which is sometimes one or two in the morning.

The saving grace here is that I'm pretty sure help is one the way.

Here's the relevant text from Daughter #1:

"also i just ordered these and am totally down to share if you need help wrapping on christmas eve"

"oh and i also have twine for ribbons :)"

Whew.

I just checked that after thinking I misremembered it. But there you go: good as a contract! 😁

So anyway, I have Kimmer's presents stashed, she has mine stashed, and even if we were to be in the same room wrapping presents for each other, no one would be looking. Period. No one would be looking.

You see, we lived in some small spaces along the way and we like to preserve the Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning surprise. That's it. We're not children on the hunt. We're adults who appreciate surprise. Of not know until it's time to know which, I suspect, is a grown-up thing 'cause my childhood self would think me an idiot for saying what I just said about waiting.

The last of the present, by the way, are gifts from work. From the producer with whom I spent most of this year working. From the woman who's responsible for cleaning and maintenance in our building and others on campus. One of her daughters actually hosted the show we did last year that won us a local Emmy award.

The present from my producer is actually two presents full wrapped and ribboned together. The 411 on at least one of the gifts is that while we were at a wedding for a mutual friend in November with our spouses at the reception, the producer and my wife collaborated on what she would be getting me.

So yeah.

Even Kimmer knows what's in there.

As for the other gift, it's a straight up treat out in the open: four moon cakes in a deep red decorative tin box.

And no. Not gonna touch those until Christmas Eve at the earliest.

☺️

Anyway, that's the state of Christmas presents in our house.

This very minute.

😁

[thedaveandkimmershow]

During the weekend before the weekend before Christmas...

We finished the 1984 Horror/Comedy/Christmas classic film  Gremlins. We started the more proper, on-the-nose  Christmas film, Family Man, starting Téa Leoni, Nicolas Cage, Don Cheadle,  and Jeremy. It's a glimpse at an alternate version of the Nicolas Cage character's life. And every year I find the story compelling as hell.

Somewhere in there during the weekend, we continued the Tim Curry-read version of A Christmas Carol. I think we made it through to the Ghost of Christmas Past and Scrooge revisiting one of his old school rooms.

I also finished our family Christmas letter over the weekend. Read it to Kimmer who had 2 notes for my consideration that were easy to incorporate.

With the final version in place, I pass the final tweaks along to the Dutch version of the letter and BAM. Both English and Dutch versions are now done so the process can finally, officially start. I  gather up all the cards 'n envelopes, stamps, address labels, return address labels, and Christmas seals (stickers). Then I start hand-writing the cards to my family in The Netherlands 'cause those cards should definitely be the first ones on their way out the door. For my cousins, it's English all the way but I keep the language declarative, the sentence structures simple. For my aunts and uncle, I do the same thing but then run the text through a translator, check the resulting translation with another translator, then leave this double-checked translation up on my desktop screen while I carefully transfer the official text onto our Christmas cards by hand. Legible enough so my third grade teacher, Mrs. Lohse, would've been proud. ☺️

Monday morning, first thing, I'm at Kinkos printing all the letters then assembling the cards/envelopes/carefully folded Christmas letters/stamps/address labels/return address labels/Christmas seals bound for Holland.

Right off the bat?

Ten cards done and on their way.

To keep the workload reasonable, I have another ten out the door each day of the workweek 'til Thursday. Then BAM. Done.

2024 Christmas cards 'n letters all on their way! 😁

On Monday the 16th, we jump from The Family Man to Last Christmas 'cause Family Man had got to the intense parts and we were really just down for happy cute sweet Christmas vibes with which to end the day.

We finished the movie the next night and, after the first two movie credits following the final scene, Prime Video decided it was time for us to watch Me Before You that also stars Emilia Clarke.

Not a Christmas movie, though. Not on the list of movies we have in mind for the Christmas season.

Yeah.

We watched half of Me Before You on the spot.

Okay so now a word about things we started that, so far, we left dangling. 

For example, Tim Curry's still waiting for us to rejoin he, Scrooge, and the Ghost of Christmas Past in an old school room. The Family Man is still paused in an uncomfortable moment. And I don't know when we're coming back to Me Before You.

Why?

Because Wednesday night we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol featuring one of the best screen adaptations and perhaps the best Ebenezer Scrooge performance...

Ever.

The next night, Thursday night, we start into The Man Who Saved Christmas. It's a fictionalized story of Charles Dickens' experience writing A Christmas Carol. Another one of those films with compelling story and performances. 

We got as far as the part where Dickens is just getting to know this character in person that he only recently conjured from thin air.

This month, we managed low-key shopping experiences. Not a mad dash. Nothing to cause us wanting or needing to pull our hair out. We started early with what I like to call benign shopping. Sort of looking around with the option to buy because there's no emergency here and we've got enough Christmas shopping under our belts that we're always able to avoid emergency Christmas shopping.

Thank God.

Ours, by the way, is a mix of online and brick 'n mortar shopping. The brick 'n mortar shopping, by the way, was only intense on Black Friday and the Black Friday weekend during the day. After that the browsing and/or purchasing was a pretty chill experience.

Right now, then, I've only two gifts left to  left that I want Santa to deliver Kimmer's way. I've got all the presents for under the tree (not wrapped yet), all the stocking stuffers, the one present for her to open Christmas Eve, and even a Christmas card for my lovely wife because, heck, I basically wrote to everyone else in our lives.

So yeah.

It really, really helps to be able to focus like that.

Kimmer, on the other hand, is doing the same for me as well as the same for everyone else in our lives on Santa's Nice list as well as co-planning and cooking for a Christmas potluck tomorrow night as well as making plans for my birthday.

While she's actively pursuing her doctoral studies.

So that's probably more impressive.

🤔🤔🤔

[thedaveandkimmershow]

A quick word about a tiny bit of Handel's Messiah:

It's two moments, actually. The transition from "There Were Shepherds..." to "And Suddenly..." and the transition from "And Suddenly" to "Glory To God".

Two moments.

Those two moments occur, well, the first one occurs between the first and second soprano recitatives about three quarters of the way through Part 1 of Handel's Messiah.

Recitative

“There were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."

Recitative

"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying:"

The first recitative is straight forward storytelling aided by a touch of orchestral support. The second recitative is a musical declaration.

In this first transition, between recitatives, it's the shift in music that's most compelling. In my own emotional response to the moment, the shift to the second orchestral accompaniment captures something wondrous that's about to happen.

Which is exactly what's gonna happen.

I especially appreciate the declaration in the second recitative that immediately and profoundly pays off in the chorus. It's what's so compelling about that second transition. It creates such expectation that I have no problem imagining angels arrayed across the sky making such pronouncements:

"Glory to God! Glory to God!

Glory to God in the highest,

And peace on earth.

Goodwill toward men."

The last thing I'll mention is that "Glory to God in the highest" is like a trumpet fanfare to my ears. And the way Handel staggers "Goodwill toward men" rhythmically and melodically, building continuously on itself, well... it feels like encouragement. It feels like he's trying to breathe goodwill into the air.

But "And peace on earth"?

Yeah.

When the basses drop an octave from "And peace" to "on earth", that always feels dangerous to me. It feels profound. It feels like a fearless declaration, this thing that will happen.

And peace.

On earth.

Anyway...

The transition from "...and saying..." to "Glory to God" is always this huge moment in my imagination. Which is Handel capturing the text perfectly. Causing me to imagine those angels in the sky...

Every time.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

My Christmas playlists are an assorted bunch.

I have one that's all classic rock Christmas songs. I have one that's low-key traditional Christmas carols played on piano. I have one that's a bunch of different covers of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". Then there are the "records". Narada Christmas collections that are evocative acoustic and synth takes on traditional carols. The two volumes come from our early Lake City condo period. Similarly the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas albums. And "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown", of course, that we actually bought from that Starbucks next to I-5 at Northgate. Either there or the McDonald's.

I'm guessing Starbucks, though.

Going back, my parents favored Mahalia Jackson's "Silent Night" album, a collection of gospel Christmas performances. They were also huge fans of The Mitch Miller Band and its earworm hit "Must Be Santa".

Burl Ives?

Yeah. Also a big deal. As was The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

All of that music colored, defined what I perceived to be the sounds of the season, each one adding onto the next and the next, regardless of genre, regardless of circumstance. It was a palette of sound that additively expanded as years continued to press onward and our lives slipped through many phases.

I would be remiss in my accounting, though, if I didn't include classical music. First because of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir that introduced a giant, classical, operatic sound. Second because I was a piano student (not a great one) and classical's where I started. Third because I was part of a church boychoir growing up. Our choir director was a pipe organ virtuoso as well as being the choir master for the Seattle Opera. He got us a few gigs as extras in Aida, La Boheme, and Manon Lescaut. Our first performance as a boychoir was one Christmas Eve in the mid-1970s at church singing the "Gloria in excelsis deo" parts of Angels We Have Heard On High. I remember he instructed us to sing the "glo" part of the word gloria like we were singing the sound glue and not gloh. I don't know how that sounded to the congregation... but it's what we did.

This was a big church in downtown Seattle and, as we grew older and transitioned into the adult choir, we were thrown into the deep end during the Christmas season with Handel's Messiah. These were yearly performances that, at their peak, involved choir, soloists, pipe organ, orchestra (not a huge one) and harpsichord.

Yeah.

It was a bit of a show.

For those who don't know (and I didn't), Handel's Messiah is written in oratorio form. It's basically musical theater without the theater. Opera without the sets. The elements of oratorio are symphony, recitatives, arias, and choruses. The symphony and the chorus are self-explanatory. Arias are solos. Recitatives aren't songs, rather they're pseudo musical/rhythmic declarations. It all was maybe too classical for me. A lot of moving parts. There were highlights, sure, but I wasn't in love with this.

What I didn't realize at the time was that this massive composition was essentially a soundtrack from which you could imagine each part of this epic story. This is as compelling a classical music experience as it gets without whipping out costumes and sets.

And that was it. At some point my disdain for classical music turned into a deep respect for this kind of storytelling. A method of musical narrative that, in the end, embedded itself in my understanding of the season as deeply as the classic Christmas carols.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

As adults, we move through Christmastime fueled by nostalgia and tradition: music we listened to and still listen to; classic films we watched and still watch; habits we had and still have... ish.

A lot of how we experience the season is colored by the experience we already had... with most of the emphasis on that first decade of Christmas awareness when Santa Claus was absolutely, unequivocally for real.

Another X factor in my experience, though, boils down to the performing arts: plays, choirs, and concerts. Growing up, my grade school Decembers were about prepping for the coming Christmas concert or Christmas play. Which is a lot of preparation, a lot of immersion in, for example, A Christmas Carol (speaking as a former Ghost of Christmas Past), learning lines learning lines and learning lines then table reads then rehearsals then dress rehearsals until the actual shows.

On the choral side, same deal. In this case, it wasn't only committing text to memory but also music to memory. In my case, the boy's part. Then much later, the tenor part. Then weeks of rehearsing until dress then final performances.

It was the same routine all through Jr. High although I don't remember any drama classes... only choir.

High school it was also all music with more performing outside of school (the Christmas Ship that one year).

My point though, is that the performing arts experience all through those school years served to marinate us in the text of Christmas, the music of the holiday, the stories and traditions of the season all gloriously wrapped in Christmas music everywhere as well as holiday classics in film and television.

Those days are long passed, of course. We're no longer immersed in that way we used to be. All that marinating, though, colored our Christmastimes for years to come. Each one is additive to all the ones that came before and serve as the basis for the following Christmastime and the following Christmastime and the following. We do still bask in the music, films, and television, both classic and new, that continue coloring the season with memories, traditions, and best wishes. And we have our own traditions, put together piece by piece through the years.

In a way, though, it's the music and dramatic performances that carry this holiday season, propell our earliest Christmastimes through the years, through the decades, from our childhoods on through to these days when we can imagine ourselves having armchair conversations with St. Nick himself.

Comparing notes.

And definitely comparing lists.

😉

[thedaveandkimmershow]

It's not that my family in The Netherlands can't read English. They can... ish.

So, when I send them our traditional year-in-review letter at Christmastime, it's in English with mostly declarative sentences. I trust someone over there can read it.

There's a difference in generations, though, and until last/this year I figured a member of the family who could read English well would handle the translation for me.

However.

It came up that I needed to communicate directly with one of my aunts for whom reading English was gonna be a problem if we were to have a conversation through text. So I tried this:

I wrote what I wanted to text. Simple. Direct. Then I ran it through the DeepL Translator from English to Dutch.

Then.

I ran the Dutch translation through Google Translate to get a sense of how that translation played out. If there was reasonable (ish) fidelity between my original text and the eventual English translation of my Dutch translation, then...

Good to go. Send it!

If the eventual English translation came out wrong or awkward or weird... then I'd modify my original text and try the whole process again until I got a better match. I also have a basic grasp of the language. I recognize many Dutch words and phrases and know what they mean. So if something ultimately comes out weird but not too weird, I'll look at the initial Dutch translation to see for myself whether it works. And yeah. Sometimes I can do that.

Anyway...

I send my Dutch text to my aunt who remarks in her reply how good my Dutch is. I tell her right away that's me through two levels of translation... but it is proof that the process works well enough to be understood by a native Dutch speaker.

Okay. Then December comes up. This month arrives. And I'm thinking about the letters we send family in Holland catching them up on our year. It's one-page front and back that I submit to the same process. Simplify the sentences. Make 'em direct. Then send the text paragraph by paragraph through DeepL Translator then Google Translate until satisfied with the results. Then replace my simplified text paragraph by paragraph with the generated translations.

So...

Does it work?

We'll see. I'm printing them out today. Sending them out tomorrow.

That's not all, though.

For the handwritten parts in the actual Merry Christmas cards, my two aunts and one uncle get a Dutch translation of what I wrote for each of them. They get a Dutch translation I meticulously copied from my computer screen in my best handwriting that would satisfy even my third-grade teacher, Mrs. Lohse. Everyone else gets my scribble in English with the option to get a translation in their inbox 'cause I'm exactly that amount of lazy.

Anyway...

The effort turns out to be more intentional and connected when you try to communicate words, ideas, and understandings in the language of the person to whom you're writing. Putting that amount of effort and intention into the translation is putting a ton of thought into the person to whom I'm writing.

And I like that. It seems worthy of the season in which we're sending heartfelt wishes to each other and maintaining a connection through words between our lives from thousands of miles away.

For moment or two... all that distance just goes away.

And that is a gift.

:-)

[thedaveandkimmershow]

We learned a heartbreaking lesson with a dear friend of ours who's no longer with us.

The lesson was this:

You can't know what another person's struggling with, what's killing them, unless you're pretty damn close.

How close?

Well...

We hung out with our friend a lot. I picked them up at their place. We went to movies together.

You know what didn't happen for the longest time?

Never setting foot into our friend's apartment. There was no need. I was always picking them up out in front of their place, bringing them back to the house.

And that's how that worked.

And if you asked me if we were close friends, the three of us, of course I'd say yes.

Of course I'd say yes.

Right up 'til the moment our friend called us for help because they just tried to commit suicide.

And if that wasn't the moment then it was the one right after where we entered their apartment and learned our friend suffered from hoarding disorder.

Right up until the call, right up until we walked into the apartment, I'd've said everything's great!

Only it wasn't.

And we didn't know.

Until we did.

So we learned a heartbreaking lesson with a dear friend of ours who's no longer with us.

The lesson was this:

You can't know what another person's struggling with, what's killing them, unless you're pretty damn close.

How close?

Yeah. Part-of-our-every-day close. They didn't have family like that so we became that family. And we walked a good chunk of her life with her.

So yeah.

That close.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Since our last report, I thought about Peace a bunch.

Why?

'Cause in my experience, Peace is the x-factor that separates a lovely holiday season from a really crappy one. 

So yeah. Peace.

In the meantime, while I was thinking about all the ways Peace impacts our holiday season, we marched on with our Christmas movies, continuing the yuletide vibe with My Dad's Christmas Date, a very sweet, very touching film starring Jeremy Piven and Olivia-Mai Barrett.

After that, a pair of "Holiday" movies as in The Holiday, starring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Jack Black... and Last Holiday starring Queen Latifah, LL Cool J, Timothy Hutton, Gérard Depardieu, Alicia Witt, and Giancarlo Esposito.

Between all that holiday TV feasting, I managed to work my way through 98% of this year's Christmas Letter, basically a one-pager (two-pager, really, because it's front and back) about what we did in 2024. My first draft of the letter in any given year gets me 90% done. Then I pick away at it for a few days, reading and making tweaks, reading and making tweaks until 97%, 98%, 99%...

100.

Once I cleared 90 this year, though, I crafted a version for my family in Holland beginning with a variation of what I already wrote in English but with mostly declarative sentences so that I don't have to sweat nuance in the translation from English to Dutch.

The translation, by the way, is a two-step process in which I feed, one paragraph at a time, my English version into the DeepL online translator then copy the translation into Google Translate for the return trip to English so that I can measure (as best I can) whether I'm communicating through the Dutch translation what I think I'm communicating. Fortunately, I can also recognize certain Dutch words and phrases so that sometimes when the English translation doesn't look right I can check the Dutch translation to see if it works anyway.

I've already got a full translation in Dutch that I'm happy with. When I get my original English version across the 100% finish line, I'll revisit it to see if there are any changes I wanna carry across.

I'm close, though. ☺️

In other news, I started Christmas shopping. 😁

In other, other news, we watched the all-star cast film, Love Actually, a story that brilliantly and clearly demonstrates the many ways in which love can actually be seen. 🤔

We also started in on the audio book version of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" as read by Tim Curry. We're into Stave I, the first chapter of the story that begins,

"Marley was dead: to begin with."

We're definitely through the part with his nephew, just barely into Scrooge's conversation with the two men collecting money for the poor.

We also, also started in on that old holiday classic movie, Gremlins. We're past the part where Billy's mom kills that one gremlin in the blender and that other gremlin in the microwave oven.

You definitely can't unsee those scenes once you've seen 'um.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but we were about a week behind on our Advent calendar. Got caught up, though, in a couple days and were on track by the 10th.

It was cool, though, when we could do more than one day at a time. 😉

Last thing so far this report: meeting up with a friend of mine who took the opportunity to get two other friends together for a bit of Show 'n Tell. 

Show 'n Tell?

Well, we're all dads, so... kids. You know? How old they are. What they're doing.

Wives, too. But only about what they're doing.

We all got our starts in the industry at the same production company from which our career paths have serpentined ever outward.

Our time was a chunk of history, a 'lil bit of what technology's bringing to our futures, and a lot of what's going on right now. Past, future, and present.

A lot of shop talk, of course.

A lot of Show 'n Tell for which I'm grateful that the season made some room and motivation for the four of us to come together.

Two of us already had a table by the time I got there at ten, by the way. The last showed up around ten thirty (I think) and left along with another of us between 1130 and noon. The last two of us... there 'til 2.

In general, what I'm sure of is arriving at ten, leaving at two. It's surprising since I had no sense of that kind of time passing. I happened to look at my phone and there it was... four hours later.

Time doesn't get away from me that often, by the way. When it does, though, I've been totally gone. In this case, literally lost in conversation which, if you're gonna be lost... yeah. That's a pretty good way to do it because I enjoyed every moment of that time from beginning to end.

We're even making plans for a studio Show 'n Tell without having to wait a whole other year to do it.

Which is itself another sweet gift.

Outside of what's happened so far, there's also what's on the schedule. As in, the company holiday party previously scheduled for the 18th has been moved to next month. Literally plucked from the midst of our holiday calendars and placed gently out of the way into January 2025. Next month. Next year.

That works for me, by the way. December is sort of an overabundance... and swapping out an event from the midst of that overabundance into the midst of nothing in particular going on...

Is a treat.

One to which I look forward.

And one I appreciate like a bonus. 😁

A similar thing happened with our former Youth Pastor who goes waaaaaaaaaay back into the earliest reaches of our histories both personal and as a couple. The man officiated our wedding, for crying out loud. At some point it was our tradition to spend Christmas Eve with his family. And then at some later point we would spend an afternoon with him before Christmas, taking the time to catch up.

This year, we're doing that again only after Christmas but before New Year's Day. It'll be Sunday, the 29th.

So yeah. Another treat to which I look forward.

Lastly, we've got a coupla small gatherings on the schedule: a Favorite People Over For Dinner on Saturday the 21st followed by Christmas Day afternoon and evening for family and friends on the 25th.

There it is, then. We're managing the season pretty well. It's not suffocating. No one's banging their head against the wall. And the times that we're intentionally enjoying feature peace and friendship and are worthy of the holidays.

I'm lovin' this.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

I think getting older there's more incentive to celebrate in meaningful ways. 

Birthdays. Anniversaries. Holidays.

Did I say incentive?

Let's try inspiration, instead.

I think getting older there's more inspiration to celebrate in meaningful ways.

Birthdays. Anniversaries. Holidays.

Hmmm.

I'm not sure that's on the nose, either.

Maybe need? Maybe want? 

Let's try want.

I think getting older there's more want to celebrate in meaningful ways. You see it all around, this striving for a higher purpose to the holiday only it's obscured by the logistics of the holiday, all the activity and to-do's and expectations and obligations that, combined, create a kind of existential blur. It's relentless action and activity until it's not.

Usually the not comes after Christmas.

So I guess that's where the want comes from. 'Cause part of growing up is gathering together a list of what you don't want. As in I don't want to drive myself crazy. I don't want to be worn down by an unmanageable list of things I've gotta do, places I've gotta be for the holiday. For Christmas.

So I think getting older there's more want to celebrate in meaningful ways. As in I want. I want to celebrate in meaningful ways. I wanna take the season slow. I wanna enjoy small things... a lot. I wanna appreciate time with other people. I wanna be grateful. 

In many ways, the common practice of Christmastime runs counter to our wants for Christmastime. After all, I don't think a universe exists in which relentless action and activity becomes fertile ground for reflection and contemplation, relaxation and fellowship, or even an intentional and sustained experience of the implications of this season on the the rest of the year.

For sure all that activity and action dressed up in the traditions and expectations of the season give the impression of the season without being the season.

Peace and Goodwill, you know?

They don't just happen.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

It's true. I think about Peace a lot during this season not because I should, not because of tradition, not because of, you know, "world peace"...

But because we've done this season lots of different ways and for sure the ones we enjoyed the least overflowed with logistics and obligations and existential blur. We hardly experienced those seasons. And I won't lie: we were also glad when they were over.

On the other hand, the ones that were meaningful were intimate and relaxing. Some of those experiences definitely had an over the river and through the woods vibe to them. For example, early on we took to getting the heck out of Dodge on Christmas Eve, driving onto a ferry, enjoying this rare ferry ride at night, driving a half hour on the other side to join a friend's family for dinner, hanging out, attending Christmas Eve service, saying our farewells and then driving back to the ferry, riding the ferry, and driving back home by which point it would be Christmas 'cause midnight had struck.

Another time, many years later, we piled into an RV with a dear friend and traveled far north to Granite Falls to join other friends there for Christmas Eve service, hanging out, then driving home.

If that sounds like a lot of steps and travel, you wouldn't be wrong. If it sounds busy to you, however, yeah.

You're definitely wrong.

It's the travel, see. In the car or in the RV, Christmas songs. Outside, depending on where you are, lights and displays. If you're in the middle of Puget Sound or not to a town yet, darkness. And trees along the side of the highway illuminated as our headlights brush them on our way. It's silence. Or it's Christmas music. Or it's talking inside our bubble.

It's an intimate, focused, quiet experience. One that facilitates—dare I say it?—Contemplation.

And Reflection.

Yeah. There are worse things you can do on a Christmas Eve.

And then "Grandmother's House"?

It's friends. Just friends. With whom we have a lot of history and therefore a lot of memories and goodwill and laughter and depth.

Again. There are worse ways to spend Christmas Eve. It's true.

I think about Peace a lot during this season not because I should, not because of tradition, not because of, you know, "world peace" but because we've done this season lots of different ways and for sure the ones we enjoyed the least overflowed with logistics and obligations and existential blur. We hardly experienced those seasons. And we were glad when they were over.

On the other hand, the ones that were meaningful were about Friendship.

And Contemplation.

And Reflection.

And Peace.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

Not too long ago, my daughter ‘n I were talking about understandings of Love at different ages.

We talked about Love as a reality kids, teens, and young young adults can’t grasp because they don't yet know what Love has to accomplish.

Accomplish?

Sure. Because two people in love as full-blown adults are bound by the wild wild west of the real world. They're obligated to face the challenges of that world together... a world in which they must prevail.

When we get started down this path, it's all just our ideas about Love and our feelings until, you know, it isn't.

Reality's serious that way.

And so this is Christmastime and we're talking about Peace a little more than love. The same rules apply, though. There are challenges against which we can only prevail with Peace in charge of our minds and our hearts. You see, if we're a raging storm inside, we approach the outside colored and informed by that storm. If our minds are filled with chaos and fear, our emotions are triggered by that chaos and fear, and our actions are informed by that chaos and fear.

And so this is Christmastime and the important message of this season isn't only Peace on earth. After all, there can be no peace on earth without Peace inside each of us. Think of it this way: in what reality does Peace blossom from chaos? In what reality does goodwill blossom in the absence of Peace?

It's an idea to consider, is all. Not only in the coming days but in all the coming days in perpetuity?

What exactly is possible that's good and sustainable without human Peace at the level of a single individual? And then another. And another.

Anyway...

May Peace be with you and Peace be in you.

Merry Christmas!

[thedaveandkimmershow]

When I was a kid racing around the playground, I understood the word Peace. It meant not war.

That was my understanding coming out of grade school, middle school, high school, university, and media arts college.

Actually, I just never gave peace much thought other than when you'd hear about "peace talks" on the evening news.

It's one of those things you can't imagine as a kid. Or at least I never imagined as a kid. I never imagined peace in any other context than war. After all, you choose peace. As in Give peace a chance and War is over if you want it, War is over now. So what’s the big deal?

I just didn’t think about it…

And it shows.

Not too long ago, my daughter ‘n I were talking about this kind of thing. Because Peace isn’t the only adult concept kids, teens, and young young adults can’t yet grasp in its entirety.

They have no idea what Peace has to accomplish.

They have no idea what Love has to accomplish.

The have no idea what Learning has to accomplish.

Their understanding, therefore, my once upon a time understanding, is understandably simplistic. That’s all.

So.

The fundamental misunderstanding I wielded as a kid was to so narrowly define Peace. As in Peace on earth. 

Peace.

On earth.

When that’s only one aspect of Peace. This global thing. This armies against armies thing. This countries against countries thing.

This people against people thing.

And the lesson growing up imparted to me, what growing into responsibility taught me, is that while Peace on earth is a fundamentally important ideal, so is Peace as an individual experience. Not a state of harmony out there. A state of harmony inside each of us. Not a fortune cookie prescription, not the back cover copy of a self-help book, not a religious quest.

What I’m describing is the calm required as individuals to navigate chaos and complexity. Complexity for sure. 

Because what we have to accomplish as adults is impossible when it’s white-water rapids and mayhem inside our brains.

:-(

[thedaveandkimmershow]

I don't know when I saw it differently but my entry into Christmastime was all about me.

Two things to understand:

1. I am an only child, and

2. Presents.

It's a wonder I ever left that bubble. Because for the longest time (I'm guessing) my only seasonal considerations could be expressed as What I want. What I told Santa I want. What I think Santa's gonna bring me. And What actually wound up under our Christmas tree.

Rinse.

Repeat.

And yeah you're right.

That is one helluva selfish bubble in which to exist. But what can I tell you???

I was a kid.

At some point the season stopped being about me. Well, not entirely about me. I won't lie. As an only child, Me is my favorite subject when it comes to serious gift giving. After all, Christmas gifts are high stakes. They're a validation, a sort of performance review of the previous 364/5 days of being a kid.

My understanding of this holiday season, though, expanded as I grew up, as I got older. I never quite shook off the high stakes of it but as I deep dived into adulting, as I lived the married life, as I did the dad gig, my world and my understanding of it expanded. I became aware of high stakes other than what I'm getting for Christmas. Actual high stakes. The kind that impact futures and outcomes. The kind with bearing on quality of life and professional options. The kind that transform lived experience.

The kind that transform.

Lived experience.

And so, as I became an adultier adult, I'm looking at everything with both a wide angle lens, a macro lens, my experience and education, and the whatever it is you get from having lived a bunch of decades. Not that I know everything... just that I can roll with unknowns and ambiguity. It's just a thing. That's not everyone's vibe, of course, but it does provide me with a certain calm that I really do appreciate.

Once upon a time, I viewed this season through kid's eyes. Through an only child's eyes.

And now?

The eyes of someone who understands more than he used to. Who gets the importance of authentic relationship, deep friendship, and people who are your people.

Your people.

Your team.

Because those kinds of people?

Yeah.

It'll take your breath away the things you can accomplish.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

So far...

We watched the movie, "Noelle" to kick off the month. We pivoted to A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving 'cause we hadn't watched it before or on the Day as we intended. Still, it was a sweet experience with which to catch up.

Next thing I know, Kimmer mentions "An Echolls Family Christmas" from the 2004 tv series Veronica Mars.

Definitely not your typical seasonal classic... but a classic none-the-less.

From IMDB:

"Veronica investigates missing poker winnings, and Keith is hired by Lynn Echolls to track down one of the potential stalkers of her husband, Aaron."

Gambling. Infidelity. Deceit. A stabbing. And a Victorian quartet caroling for party-goers.

Like I said, not your typical seasonal classic. 😉

The next evening, we're actually teeing up "My Dad's Christmas Date" on Amazon when we get distracted by my Wonder Years YouTube playlist and find ourselves hijacked by "The Wonder Years (1988) Interview with Dan Lauria" that runs straight into "The Wonder Years (1988) Interview with Danica McKellar" that runs straight into "The Wonder Years (1988) Interview with Crystal McKellar" at which point we had the presence of mind to shut it down so we could, you know, sleep.

I say we were "hijacked" but the truth is, because we're such enduring fans of the show (and the new one), it was all fascinating. About forty minutes worth of fascinating before we managed to pull ourselves away. 🫤🤨

Aside from television seasonal distractions, Kimmer's busy setting up Christmas gatherings on the 21st and 25th. She couldn't get the Thanksgiving Day band back together on one night... but between the two dates, that's everyone with a touch of overlap. HUZZAH!

There has already been, by the way, a lot of discussion and thought focused on the menus for both evenings. So this train's definitely a'rollin'. 😁

And we are completely, legitimately looking forward to those Christmas evenings. Without a hint of irony (he said), it's gonna be a relaxing, enjoyable time. Both times.

In the meantime, I've been firing up our Christmas card-making machinery since Thanksgivingtime. I started with buying Christmas stamps from the Capital Hill post office right there by the light rail station. On Black Friday I picked up two sets of cards from Hobby Lobby. Fifty percent off. Then I updated our address list, reaching out to various friends and family as necessary (each of whom responded within hours). With our letter in mind, I gathered the various details spread our across our year that I might wanna include as our kind of Year In Review to share with family and friends. The effort took about a week. Finally, I've been thinking straight through to yesterday what I'd like to write each person, each family, with whom we're sharing Christmas wishes. Little handwritten ditties on the inside of each card aside from our 2024 one-pager.

It's a full-blown process, obviously. A process that requires a lot of thought about individuals and families, friends all, which is what I enjoy about indulging this effort every year to this day.

☺️

Lastly in this holiday update, we finally got our Advent Calendar up 'n running. Seven days late, our plan is to open a door once in the morning and once in the evening until we're caught up. For the first time, we're using a square wooden calendar painted bright red with drawers around the outside and a Christmas scene portrayed in white at the center. I found it at Value Village days after Christmas 2023 and have been looking forward to putting it in play for its intended purpose. 

Each drawer contains two Starlight peppermint candies and a kid's Bible verse that, when you add 'em all up, does a good job of communicating a basic biblical story while the season in which we're caught up spins and swirls around us. In it's own way, the calendar helps us maintain a steady pace toward Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, a counterbalance to the headlong rush this experience would otherwise be.

And yeah.

That speaks to us.

☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

I was going back through my previous months of monthly recaps when it struck me how almost every one starts with some befuzzlement over just what the heck we did the previous month.

Good thing I take notes.😉

For example, the missus ‘n I had an interesting experience at The Little Lies Apex Everett show on November 9 after which the next day the following exchange occurred between myself and the daughter.

"We're starting to get the sense  that you don't need to be Taylor Swift famous in order for people to walk up and tell us how AWESOME it is that we're your parents.

Well done, you. ☺️"

To which she responds

"seems like you guys were famous in the crowd 🥰"

That's maybe overstating our disposition a little but it did feel like we were getting a lot of undeserved deference and enthusiasm. What's really going on is that it's a reflection of how excited people are about the music of Fleetwood Mac and the members of this tribute band performing that music to such musical and emotional perfection. The experience is so powerful, no lie, that fans feel compelled to share what it felt like to them and what it meant to them...

With us.

It's sweet as hell.

Takes a bit of getting used to, is all.

You know what doesn't take any getting used to?

When someone says

"Was that your daughter???

She's amazing!!!"

☺️

November 11, of course, was Veteran's Day. Turns out it's also the day our friends Charlie and Scott decided to get married so we all made our way over to Alki United Church of Christ in West Seattle for not only the ceremony but a pretty significant gathering of local broadcast and production professionals. Which made for great coverage of the event itself. At least two people rolled on the entire ceremony. There's a file of the Livestream provided for family in Europe. And most everyone else captured video clips and a bazillion photographs. 

You could make a video of all that coverage, I'm thinking.

Hmmmmmmm. 😉

Afterward, we made our way to Duke's on Alki where we were joined by Charlie and her newly minted husband, surrounded by family and friends.

Fantastic food and drinks, by the way. Charlie put a lot of thought into which of her guests were seated at which table and, as a result, we all had fabulous times at our tables.

Birds of a feather. You know?

😁

One of the features of November each year is that Kimmer ‘n Linzy share this month for their birthdays. ‘Bout a week apart with Linzy’s day falling on actual Thanksgiving Day every so often.

As a broader theme, I'll also mention that a lot of birthdays in our families fall into these final two months of the year, surrounded by holidays so the holidays always color our birthdays a bit.

For example, Kimmer’s birthday had a lot of Christmas colored into it because we did impromptu thrift shopping and those stores have been geared up for Christmas since Halloween.

Linzy’s birthday was also colored in a touch with Christmas ‘cause we were downtown at Pacific Place watching the musical behemoth that is “Wicked”.

Later, my second-cousin texts me 

"Did you like it ??"

And I say

“Absolutely. But the experience for me went like this: They coulda lopped off the first five to ten minutes and started with Galinda arriving at school. I spent the first half of the movie HATING. GALINDA'S. GUTS. The middle of the movie was the most compelling, powerful part. Then fun until they meet oz. Then the end gets super intense until both linzy and I discovered this was part one of two movies and the second doesn't come out until this time next year. WHAAAAAAAAAAT???!!! 😡 But yeah. Great movie! ☺️”

So for Kimmer’s birthday we wound up at Linzy’s place for a bit of dinner and a family viewing of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (not the same magic as the first).

For Linzy’s birthday we wound up in downtown Seattle for a family viewing of “Wicked” during the film’s opening weekend. ($114million domestic box office)

And then Thanksgiving we all congregated back at the house: Kimmer, Linzy, ‘n myself, Rachel, Chris, Ben, Hilary, Lavi, and Noah.

Prior to the day, Kimmer’d settled on potluck as how we were gonna do the day. She was also quick on the using paper plates & plastic cups so we can throw ‘em all away after dinner bandwagon. After that, she and Hilary hit on turning our living room into a super comfy dining room as the best way to manage all of us along with a pretty substantial meal.

The result?

The best Thanksgiving ever. ☺️

The weight of getting the full meal prepared was shared among everyone and the cleanup was a quick, easy workload. The casual setting facilitated a lot of fun, enjoyable conversations and other shenanigans.

We're hoping to recreate this clever bit of magic in the lead-up to Christmas. 😁

Bad News then Good News:

For the second time this year, Dinker went missing. Like poof. Gone.

He was gone so many days that we took him for deceased. Perhaps at the hands of local raccoons.

He was gone something like two weeks and we really did believe he was gone for good. But then…

But then…

But then the morning of Linzys birthday, he just comes wandering up to the outside of our bedroom's french doors. No fuss. No fanfare. He was just back.

So where was he?

The clues we had were

He picked up a bunch of weight

He smelled of cigarette smoke

So unless Dinker had taken up smoking and developed not only the taste for but the ability to successfully hunt mice and birds… odds are someone in the neighborhood locked him into their home for a pair of weeks.

Not cool.

For sure Dinker's an indoor cat now.

😐

Oh I forgot to mention the storm.

Late afternoon Tuesday the 19th, the wind started picking up. Now, I’d got a prediction about a “Bomb Cyclone” from UW Atmospheric Scientist, Cliff Mass, but my read of his prediction put the worst of the storm along the coast and all over the Cascade foothills. Which sucks for those people… just not for us.

Soon enough, I’m walking across campus, starting my way home. A bit of rain... but a lot of wind pushing against me in a meaningful way. Then later I'm on 196th in Lynnwood waiting for the crosswalk light when an east to west gust of wind forces me to lean into that wind because I wasn't sure it would knock me over, otherwise. 

And so on.

Neighborhoods without power. Lighted candles all over our house. Salads at night. Breakfast sandwiches from Starbucks in the morning. Netflix through our hardware wifi hotspot. Seriously appreciating being under the covers. Call it Suburban Roughing It.

Tuesday night to Thursday morning’s how long it lasted. We celebrated with made in a nut-free facility deeply chocolate frosted cupcakes that’re also injected with chocolate frosting.

Cuz I'm a great husband like that. 🥳

In the end, it’s this year’s Thanksgiving that pops the most. A lot of tough competition for that spot, I won't lie. Having experienced Thanksgiving, though, in many, many, many different ways with a spectrum of different people in a lot of different places (including, yes, Death Valley in an RV), there is no question about it.

Enjoying the holiday with friends and family, it's clear that one of the things for which I have to be thankful are the people, each and every one, with whom I shared Thanksgiving. ☺️

[thedaveandkimmershow]

I said a coupla days ago that our Christmas card tradition was something I picked up and continued from my mom and dad.

When the missus 'n I got married, it's the holiday habit we followed because that's what we both knew.

Soon as the daughter was born, I added a sticker to our cards announcing the event. Which quickly led to writing about our family life because there was lots to tell during our ongoing adventures in parenthood.

The reason to perpetuate this tradition, though, doesn't arise from those adventures. There are actually two compelling reasons. In no particular order they are

1) So we don't get captured by the Present, and

2) So we're actually thinking in a meaningful way about the people who are important to us.

The Christmas card/letter, you see, is both an inward facing and an outward facing endeavor. Each year, I verify everyone's addresses (especially if they're new) and I write inside the card some thoughts directly from us to them. Fold the Christmas letter, place it inside the card. Place both into an envelope, affix their address label. Then... return address, postage, seal the envelope, place it in the "done" stack. It's a process of thinking about our friends and what message we wish to impart... then "packaging" up the message. Then mailing it.

It's a physical endeavor, is what I enjoy about it. It's intentional. It's focused. It's personal. And for stretches of time, I write and assemble this work to the tunes of a curated Christmas playlist. So it's a very 'Tis The Season experience. ☺️

The inward facing part of the endeavor is definitely the Christmas letter which, at this point, exists so that we don't lose the thread of our year, so that we acknowledge the arc of it rather than whatever it is we can remember.

That's not a small thing, by the way. A lot of what we remember is either what just happened... or some negative experience that was a BIG negative experience. Those bad boys always come to mind without prompting. They also make a lot of smaller memories effectively invisible. So I like to take the time to gather in the year, to give it a bird's eye view so that we remain true to the actual arc of this year that's soon coming to a close. Otherwise, we're just trapped in a perpetual Now.

And that won't do.

Anyway...

Christmas letters and Christmas cards because no we don't wanna get trapped in the Present and yes we do enjoy thinking about our friends and indulging in these rituals of the season whilst we think about them.

🎅⛄🎄☺️