#EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT BE
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WOE, SELFSHIP ART BE UPON THEE.
#self ship#self sona#sona art#cringin at myself so hard rn#even though i shouldnt be#cuz this is tumblr#shit like this is actually accepted here#which im still gettin used to#not gonna be usin the main dialtown tag/callum tag#for reasons#this is gonna flop SO HARD#Spotify
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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nano day 17, 18, & 19
WE’RE SO BACK
17 - 1159 (main wip)
18 - 1811 (fic!!)
19- 2021; 852 fic, 1170 main wip :D
Total word count: 26,550!!! (~5k short) With 20286 towards cryptids wip
YOU READ THAT RIGHT WE HIT 20K ON CRYPTIDS WIP EVERYONE PLEASE CLAP!!!!
I’m almost finished with tough scene #10! I thought I was finished with it tonight but then I came up with another idea to add to it, so I’ll do that tomorrow. It started off super rocky but something clicked Friday night and the words flowed a lot easier! Cant say it’s amazing but I’m glad it went a lot smoother than I anticipated.
anyway I’m just really happy I got out of that weird rut AND I hit 20k. The next scene is also kinda exciting and is the real start of all the horror aspects of the story so it should be fun :D let’s just hope this streak continues and we don’t have any more sub 1k writing days
#I’ve noticed from other projects that my motivation starts to peter out around the 20-25k range so I’m Norvus#not in terms of nano just in general#but we will do our best#there’s 11 days til the end#v worried about word count#EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT BE#BUT IDK ITD BE NICE TO HIT THE 50K#mostly bc I don’t want to have a lot to write after novemeber lol#I’m aware I’m in it for the long haul but I wanna make as much progress as possible 😭#that’s like.. 23k#meanwhile it took me 19 days to reach 20k… soooo yikes#ANYWAY I got two kudos email notifs back to back so that motivated me to open my fic doc again 😭#bless you guest reader you single hand saved me from my overthinking 🙏#**single-handedly#I am once again begging for a hug#pls 😭 as a treat??#anyway goodnight#dahl does nano 23
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Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.
(poll results here for context)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#bonus comic#The most resounding conclusion the community came to agree on is thar Xie Lian is bad at cooking on purpose#and is stubborn to the point of refusing to let go of this feature (not a bug) of himself.#though if you practice being bad at something on purpose you do just…get bad.#Poor lan wangji probably had to watch him do horrendous food crimes in the kitchen.#crushing eggs in his fists and throwing it into the bowl or pan (shell and all).#Burning water. Throwing in ingredients based on the roll of a dice. Putting in leaves and cool rocks he found.#He is living his best life mind you. And I think as long as he is happy then let him make his potions.#This is *his* version of art therapy. It just shouldnt be fed to anyone.#lwj would probably try to make it more theraputic after realizing that the bad cooking skills were on purpose. But even then XL is a rock.#he will not do anything he does not want to. Including processing feelings.#Don't idealize that btw. You will do yourself no favours by ignoring hard emotions. Love and peace everypony; Its a hard world out there.#Hua Cheng and wwx hung out during all of this and have since become hunting buddies.#Sometimes its birds sometimes it's each other. For sport.
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I keep seeing posts comparing this to 2004 or other past election losses and how this feels the same or similar to those past times.
As another Old who voted in 2004 (and I missed voting in 2000 by a month and was furious about it) I really can't even put into words how vehemently I disagree.
In 2008, I remember very earnestly sitting down with some friends and saying that if somehow McCain beat Obama, I'd have to join the fucking revolution, because I couldn't believe that this country would elect a Republican AGAIN after the previous 8 years of bullshit. I look back now and think how incredibly naive I was, but I also look back now and think, damn, why aren't I 25 NOW? I can't join the revolution now, I'm 41 and I own a house and have two young children and one old parent depending on me.
Because honestly, truly, as someone who has been studying American history since I was 7, as a Civil War buff with expertise on the years before the Civil War, as someone who has at least some memories of every election since 1988... guys, this isn't the same as 2004. I was furious then. Swift Boat bullshit I swear to fucking dog. And I was and still am fairly convinced that the 2000 election was deliberately stolen. But also I still had every reason then to believe in the rule of law.
In 2004, I still believed term limits would be respected.
In 2004, I still believed a person who wasn't elected would demure gracefully to the winner.
In 2004, I still trusted the courts.
In 2004, I still believed that we'd made progress on bigotry.
I could go on, and to be clear, my point isn't "I thought these institutions were ~good~" in literally any objective sense. Y'all are cynical but my generation was raised by, surrounded by, Vietnam vets and trust me, there was no way to be a kid, seeing what the 70s did to this country, and not come out as cynical and furious as the best of um. (My grandfather was a World War 2 vet, as were his close friends. My father and both his brothers are Vietnam vets, tho my dad didn't go overseas.) But I did believe that even corrupt institutions, even broken racist systems, even fucking Republicans, would follow basic norms of democracy. They said they believed in the constitution and I believed them. I believed that, like Nixon, truly getting caught doing something insane would at least force a mea culpa and turn public opinion. I believed...
Well, I guess it doesn't matter.
Because I no longer believe any of that.
I have watched the guard rails disappear over my lifetime. I have watched the party who once spent 2 years pursuing a guy over a BJ in the oval office elect a convicted rapist. I have watched and at times I've participated and I've voted and I've organized and I've protested and I've read the news more days than not and I've lived and I've grown and I've learned.
I have been an adult, legally, for almost 24 years now.
Guys... there are no norms remaining on the far right. The guard rails are gone. The Fascists control the White House, the senate, the Supreme Court, and things aren't looking promising for the House.
The bus has no brakes anymore. They think they have a mandate - and I can't blame them, as horrifying as this mandate is, because if things had gone the other way and Harris had gotten these results I'd also think it was a mandate.
Please sit with what this means: Trump and the Republican party said, "hand us the reins and we'll make everyone you hate hurt," and more than half the people who bothered to vote said "sure buddy, here goes." We don't have a usurper this time. This is the country that the majority of Americans said they wanted. Whether they come to regret that or not, they saw open Fascism and went "oh yes, count me in." And it wasn't because of the electoral college this time. It was because this country is so bigoted and misogynistic that they'd rather have this than a woman of color in the office.
I'm sick of "well she didn't run a good campaign." (Lie.) I'm sick of, "well we didn't get a primary." (Who cares?) I'm *extremely* sick of "well, Palestine." (Yes! Democrats actions have made the suffering there so much worse! It fucking sucks! You know what's about to suck so much worse?)
15 million people who showed up for Joe Biden couldn't be fussed to place a vote for Kamala Harris. Whatever their reason for not voting, we all knew the outcome if she lost. And seeing open fascism didn't fire them up enough to make the effort, and that's fucking pathetic. The consequences of the worst happening mattered so little to them that they couldn't be fucking bothered to make the minimum effort to stop it, and now millions of people will suffer as a result.
Because here we are: the huge swathe of the country who wanted a strongman now have one.
Look, I don't know what happens next. But I do know, and remember keenly: after 2016, Trump did, or at least tried to do, most of the things he said he'd do. When he was stopped, it was often because of career government employees: judges, bureaucrats, etc. And this time, he's said he's going to purge those people. I don't know if he'll succeed, but I certainly believe he'll try.
This is not 2004 again.
This is 2024. The Republicans have ripped the mask to shreds, shredded apart the book of political norms, and empowered hate, and they've been handed a governmental mandate for stamped "have at with our blessing!" in exchange.
And now they'll use that mandate to make everyone they hate suffer: people of color, queer people, trans people, immigrants, non-Christians.
Don't assume the worst can't happen. I am a Jew, and I have a photo album full of black and white photos of dead people that constantly reminds me: the worst has happened and it can happen again.
Do not despair. Despair is enervating. Be furious. As we should be. These douche bags are repulsive. Be prepared to fight. Be prepared to flee. Be prepared to defend. Don't assume you simply can't do something. There's always something to do, and even the smallest act of defiance can help. There's never any knowing until after which acts of resistance will end up galvanizing the good and just out of their apathy. But that apathy is the enemy.
Because none of this is normal. None of this is "just like when..." Please stop saying it is.
And before anyone screams "privilege" at me, yes, I am in many ways. I'm white. I have access to some generational money even tho my own family lives paycheck to paycheck - we won't be rich but have enough of a support network to be comfortable. I live in a blue area of a blue state. But I'm also a woman (legally speaking, at least) married to another woman - since before Oberkfell, and yes I remember exactly what steps we had planned any time we wanted to leave our state. My wife has physical disabilities. We have two children. Both are biracial (half black). One is trans. We are caring for an elderly parent. I am Jewish and as my kids' birth parent, so are they. I own a publishing company that publishes the exact kinds of queer and kinky lit these people intend to ban. We tick so many boxes of what these people hate.
I know ya'll are scared. Trust me, I'm terrified. But fear is paralyzing. And that won't help. Whatever happens, don't lie down and take this shit.
When Gore lost I was one month shy of my 18th birthday and already in college. I have been fighting my entire adult life, and I'm exhausted. I'm much less able to fight now, much more tied down with responsibilities. But the fight isn't over. I'm checking our passports. I'm packing a go bag. I've convinced one vulnerable friend to move here and I have another who wants to and we're figuring out how to make that happen. I'm protecting who I can, starting with putting on my mask first. I don't know what will happen but if in the end all I can do is uproot my entire life to protect my children then I am preparing to do so. I can at least save them if no one else.
None of this is normal.
And I'm not sure, after Trump's in office, that anything will ever be normal again in the US. At least not the old normal. And there are ways that's a good thing, so many ways that the old normal sucked for so many people, and I'm optimistic that there's a bright future ahead, but man it looks far away right now. I don't want to go back to the old normal, and I want to be part of establishing a kinder, more just, more equal new normal, but we're a long way from there.
Whatever happens, we must endure. We must survive. We must support each other. We must find our allies and be prepared to compromise with them. Don't try to save everyone. You'll fail. Help even one person and you can change the world. Everyone things they can't do everything and so do nothing. That's insane. Do a single thing and it will be better than nothing. One phone call. One letter. One act of defiance. Very few people get the opportunity to grand gestures that matter, and the rest of us will die waiting for that moment. But the secret is that what makes those moments - the time when one person is in the right place at the right time for their action to matter - is built on millions of small moments by millions of people doing what little they can to make things slightly better. Think of every iconic photograph of a Sole Resistor you know of and think about every single tiny thing that had to happen for that moment to occur. Most of us will never me that one person, but that one person is a myth anyway. Countless tiny unseen moments create those myths. Doing literally anything is better than doing nothing.
And tooth and nail, quietly and loudly, in our homes and our towns and cities, during protests or when they come for our neighbors, we must fight.
#unforth rambles#politics#uspol#i probably shouldnt post this#and it probably wont get traction even though i am#but stop telling people that the normal methods of hunkering diwn and waiting for a 2026 blue wave will help#stop telling people this is just like something before#its not its not its not its so fucking not stop it
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pt 2 of memes that vaguely relate to the ambiguous nihilism theme essay and stuff except this one is a lot dumber
#something something nobody has actual proof of consciousness but that doesnt mean you should treat people like garbage something something#something something monika had no idea the rest of the club was sentient and therefore could do whatever she wanted even though she really#shouldnt because what if they were sentient and also why does something definitely existing even matter if she has proof of nothing in life#admittedly a lot of this is more shaky and unrelated than the other one but i also think this meme is really funny to me so im doing it too#also made this in like ten minutes idk why i decided to edit a crappy dye job to my pencil sketch but i need to get this out into the world#doki doki literature club#ddlc#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#tempestarttag
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can you believe this is the same guy
#my art#pokemon rejuvenation#geara#geara pokemon rejuvenation#suicidal ideation tw#FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK WOOOOO#i love drawign geara!!! and lately i've been. particularly enraptured. by drawing him younger#(by like 2 years anyway) HES JUST A GUY.... UAUUuggh and i love drawing his long hair.....#''why is little geara crying'' he misses mom even though he knows he shouldnt. bc he hates her.#things were simpler when he was with her. but also suffocating and downright dangerous (looking at sirius) really bad#but still.. hes only 18 </3 just a boy
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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I have to do everything myself don't I? *Opens a Google doc*
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#IF ROBBIE AND LIAM WONT GIVE ME A WALE UP SCENE ILL JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT MYSELF#literally all i wanted was a walk of shame meeting between ashton and dorian#even though there shouldnt be any shame#dorym
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Someone kept being mean to Johnny :[
#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#thsc rupert price#thsc johnny panzer#art#i was originally imagining someone kept trying to 'force him' to talk or make a sound#and it made him insanely uncomfortable and self conscious even though he knows it shouldnt
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A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..
#fantasy costume#fantasy fashion#fantasy aesthetic#No idea what to tag this generally or which tags are even used on tumblr lol... I think thats the thing I'm worst at with social media#is just knowing how to understand and use tags. I think I take them too literally or something or have trouble categorizing#Since I go to the tag and check it and it's too scattered of a group of things then I'm not sure whether something fits there#or not since it's like 'eh.. well.. there are also a lot of things in there that ARENt like what i'm posting''#I have like the opposite problem of those spam blogs that will tag their posts with 800 barely related things. like a picture of a random#girl in a dress and it's tagged 'the simpsons. macklemore. downton abbey. fortnite. girly things. gothic horror. vibes. brad pitt. golf.''#or whatever lol.. where I will feel like if less than 85% of the tag is exactly completely related to what im posting then its like 'eh...#maybe I shouldnt post there...who knows what its even for.. . what if theres some tv show named 'fantasy costume' which im unaware of#and people will assume i'm mocking the show' or some weird thing like that. Anyway lol#Another one I almost didn't post since I've just hated all my costumes recently.. I'm not sure why.. maybe my camera is getting old??#Because they look fine in person - it's more specifically that I dont like the PICTURES of them for the past 2-3 yrs or so. like i know#it's not my facial features it's more like... the lighting or something?? I just always feel so much like it looks nothing like how it#did in the mirror in real life. Like the colors will be off or it will be too bright or weirdly shadowed or something. maybe one day I#accidentally changed a setting on my camera and never changed it back. But it used to be a lot easier to find images I was okay with. -_-#I did just really want to do the eyebrow whiskers again though since I've always found them fun. And also to use the star things as part of#mouth jewelry. They're actually just star shaped paperclips that I kind of bent to be larger. Then the green shawl thing is a pillowcase#Looking back on it I would've liked to do horns or something since the top of the head is a bit bare lol#self
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im going to figure out how to draw him if it kills me
#data soong#lore soong#data tng#lore tng#star trek#star trek the next generation#i thjnk that first drawing was referenced almost directly from a screencap of datalore but i drew them like they look later bc#they r kind of ugly in first szn. sorry#they also look slightly different even though they shouldnt bc i messed up but whatever. who care#fan#2024#posting this at midnight bc i’m embarrassed except i’m not bc i’m posting it but i am no yes ❤️
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learning a language is sooo fun until you start really not getting shit and u get so frustrated u wanna give up and throw out all ur progress
#kae.txt#its not even hard its like basic shit and i just keep fucking it up#im also tired though and i shouldnt be studying this late it makes me more upset than usual but oh my god#i like learning i just dont like not understanding its fun to figure things out as u go its just hard man
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had to rent a bike last night bc my metro was late and i missed my train which means i missed the last bus home and now i have to bring it back to the station the tiniest bit hungover and very exhausted ughghghghhhhh😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#it's 5 euros a day i am not waiting until tomorrow it's not worth it!!#for a 10 euro fee i'm allowed to just leave it at the station near me though.....#but 10 euros feels crazy for something that shouldnt even take 40 mins#personal
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Hnng, desire Cabby Plushie, I have the power to....
#osc#inanimate insanity#3d#ii cabby#my art#For context this is a website called plushify where you can make plushie patterns out of 3d models#Its a pretty great software to name pettern pieces#determine fur direction#assign colors and calculate fabric amounts#even calculates measurements#I have some basic 3d modeling skills#enough to whip this up and sew it together#but im working on another plush at the moment so i really shouldnt buy the fabric#plus what if they release the cabby plush again#i really like that plush#the only thing that kinda irks me is the color#i found some minky online thats pretty close to her actual color#though its $20 to ship just one yard#not including the black and grey fabric i need to scout out#and possibly foam to keep her shape more rigid#Aghhhhh#Cabby my beloved#i really gotta finish liam
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'dragon age has gone woke!111!!'
you mean the series that has poc characters and lgbt characters in every game? you mean the series that has multiple trans characters? you mean the series that has a whole quest revolving around a gay man?
i didn't realize grifters could overlook all of that, but they draw the line at top surgery scars, but i guess they never play the games they complain about.
#im so surprised there's anti-lgbt dragon age fans#actually i kind of can bc some people can be a little weird and lowkey homophobic if you romance a bi character with the same gender#that happens in any game with bi romances tho its not specific to this series#kind of reminds of the anti-lgbt and pro corpo cyberpunk 2077 fans tbh#im surprised grifters dont complain about how slavery is shown as a bad thing /hj#im not sure if the prostitute(?) in da2 is a trans woman or a drag queen but i know theres a trans character in one of the comics#theres also obviously krem#right wing grifters pls never interact with my favorite media ever again#yall never play the games you complain about and it pisses me off sm#anyways im so happy to get to make my character be like me!#and im so happy i dont get stuck with 2 romance choices as a gay man#sorry i know we shouldnt be giving attention to grifters but it pisses me off sm even though their tiles & thumbnails are so goofy#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#kwyoz.txt
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