#EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT BE
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WOE, SELFSHIP ART BE UPON THEE.
#self ship#self sona#sona art#cringin at myself so hard rn#even though i shouldnt be#cuz this is tumblr#shit like this is actually accepted here#which im still gettin used to#not gonna be usin the main dialtown tag/callum tag#for reasons#this is gonna flop SO HARD#Spotify
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nano day 17, 18, & 19
WE’RE SO BACK
17 - 1159 (main wip)
18 - 1811 (fic!!)
19- 2021; 852 fic, 1170 main wip :D
Total word count: 26,550!!! (~5k short) With 20286 towards cryptids wip
YOU READ THAT RIGHT WE HIT 20K ON CRYPTIDS WIP EVERYONE PLEASE CLAP!!!!
I’m almost finished with tough scene #10! I thought I was finished with it tonight but then I came up with another idea to add to it, so I’ll do that tomorrow. It started off super rocky but something clicked Friday night and the words flowed a lot easier! Cant say it’s amazing but I’m glad it went a lot smoother than I anticipated.
anyway I’m just really happy I got out of that weird rut AND I hit 20k. The next scene is also kinda exciting and is the real start of all the horror aspects of the story so it should be fun :D let’s just hope this streak continues and we don’t have any more sub 1k writing days
#I’ve noticed from other projects that my motivation starts to peter out around the 20-25k range so I’m Norvus#not in terms of nano just in general#but we will do our best#there’s 11 days til the end#v worried about word count#EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT BE#BUT IDK ITD BE NICE TO HIT THE 50K#mostly bc I don’t want to have a lot to write after novemeber lol#I’m aware I’m in it for the long haul but I wanna make as much progress as possible 😭#that’s like.. 23k#meanwhile it took me 19 days to reach 20k… soooo yikes#ANYWAY I got two kudos email notifs back to back so that motivated me to open my fic doc again 😭#bless you guest reader you single hand saved me from my overthinking 🙏#**single-handedly#I am once again begging for a hug#pls 😭 as a treat??#anyway goodnight#dahl does nano 23
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Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.
(poll results here for context)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#bonus comic#The most resounding conclusion the community came to agree on is thar Xie Lian is bad at cooking on purpose#and is stubborn to the point of refusing to let go of this feature (not a bug) of himself.#though if you practice being bad at something on purpose you do just…get bad.#Poor lan wangji probably had to watch him do horrendous food crimes in the kitchen.#crushing eggs in his fists and throwing it into the bowl or pan (shell and all).#Burning water. Throwing in ingredients based on the roll of a dice. Putting in leaves and cool rocks he found.#He is living his best life mind you. And I think as long as he is happy then let him make his potions.#This is *his* version of art therapy. It just shouldnt be fed to anyone.#lwj would probably try to make it more theraputic after realizing that the bad cooking skills were on purpose. But even then XL is a rock.#he will not do anything he does not want to. Including processing feelings.#Don't idealize that btw. You will do yourself no favours by ignoring hard emotions. Love and peace everypony; Its a hard world out there.#Hua Cheng and wwx hung out during all of this and have since become hunting buddies.#Sometimes its birds sometimes it's each other. For sport.
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I keep seeing posts comparing this to 2004 or other past election losses and how this feels the same or similar to those past times.
As another Old who voted in 2004 (and I missed voting in 2000 by a month and was furious about it) I really can't even put into words how vehemently I disagree.
In 2008, I remember very earnestly sitting down with some friends and saying that if somehow McCain beat Obama, I'd have to join the fucking revolution, because I couldn't believe that this country would elect a Republican AGAIN after the previous 8 years of bullshit. I look back now and think how incredibly naive I was, but I also look back now and think, damn, why aren't I 25 NOW? I can't join the revolution now, I'm 41 and I own a house and have two young children and one old parent depending on me.
Because honestly, truly, as someone who has been studying American history since I was 7, as a Civil War buff with expertise on the years before the Civil War, as someone who has at least some memories of every election since 1988... guys, this isn't the same as 2004. I was furious then. Swift Boat bullshit I swear to fucking dog. And I was and still am fairly convinced that the 2000 election was deliberately stolen. But also I still had every reason then to believe in the rule of law.
In 2004, I still believed term limits would be respected.
In 2004, I still believed a person who wasn't elected would demure gracefully to the winner.
In 2004, I still trusted the courts.
In 2004, I still believed that we'd made progress on bigotry.
I could go on, and to be clear, my point isn't "I thought these institutions were ~good~" in literally any objective sense. Y'all are cynical but my generation was raised by, surrounded by, Vietnam vets and trust me, there was no way to be a kid, seeing what the 70s did to this country, and not come out as cynical and furious as the best of um. (My grandfather was a World War 2 vet, as were his close friends. My father and both his brothers are Vietnam vets, tho my dad didn't go overseas.) But I did believe that even corrupt institutions, even broken racist systems, even fucking Republicans, would follow basic norms of democracy. They said they believed in the constitution and I believed them. I believed that, like Nixon, truly getting caught doing something insane would at least force a mea culpa and turn public opinion. I believed...
Well, I guess it doesn't matter.
Because I no longer believe any of that.
I have watched the guard rails disappear over my lifetime. I have watched the party who once spent 2 years pursuing a guy over a BJ in the oval office elect a convicted rapist. I have watched and at times I've participated and I've voted and I've organized and I've protested and I've read the news more days than not and I've lived and I've grown and I've learned.
I have been an adult, legally, for almost 24 years now.
Guys... there are no norms remaining on the far right. The guard rails are gone. The Fascists control the White House, the senate, the Supreme Court, and things aren't looking promising for the House.
The bus has no brakes anymore. They think they have a mandate - and I can't blame them, as horrifying as this mandate is, because if things had gone the other way and Harris had gotten these results I'd also think it was a mandate.
Please sit with what this means: Trump and the Republican party said, "hand us the reins and we'll make everyone you hate hurt," and more than half the people who bothered to vote said "sure buddy, here goes." We don't have a usurper this time. This is the country that the majority of Americans said they wanted. Whether they come to regret that or not, they saw open Fascism and went "oh yes, count me in." And it wasn't because of the electoral college this time. It was because this country is so bigoted and misogynistic that they'd rather have this than a woman of color in the office.
I'm sick of "well she didn't run a good campaign." (Lie.) I'm sick of, "well we didn't get a primary." (Who cares?) I'm *extremely* sick of "well, Palestine." (Yes! Democrats actions have made the suffering there so much worse! It fucking sucks! You know what's about to suck so much worse?)
15 million people who showed up for Joe Biden couldn't be fussed to place a vote for Kamala Harris. Whatever their reason for not voting, we all knew the outcome if she lost. And seeing open fascism didn't fire them up enough to make the effort, and that's fucking pathetic. The consequences of the worst happening mattered so little to them that they couldn't be fucking bothered to make the minimum effort to stop it, and now millions of people will suffer as a result.
Because here we are: the huge swathe of the country who wanted a strongman now have one.
Look, I don't know what happens next. But I do know, and remember keenly: after 2016, Trump did, or at least tried to do, most of the things he said he'd do. When he was stopped, it was often because of career government employees: judges, bureaucrats, etc. And this time, he's said he's going to purge those people. I don't know if he'll succeed, but I certainly believe he'll try.
This is not 2004 again.
This is 2024. The Republicans have ripped the mask to shreds, shredded apart the book of political norms, and empowered hate, and they've been handed a governmental mandate for stamped "have at with our blessing!" in exchange.
And now they'll use that mandate to make everyone they hate suffer: people of color, queer people, trans people, immigrants, non-Christians.
Don't assume the worst can't happen. I am a Jew, and I have a photo album full of black and white photos of dead people that constantly reminds me: the worst has happened and it can happen again.
Do not despair. Despair is enervating. Be furious. As we should be. These douche bags are repulsive. Be prepared to fight. Be prepared to flee. Be prepared to defend. Don't assume you simply can't do something. There's always something to do, and even the smallest act of defiance can help. There's never any knowing until after which acts of resistance will end up galvanizing the good and just out of their apathy. But that apathy is the enemy.
Because none of this is normal. None of this is "just like when..." Please stop saying it is.
And before anyone screams "privilege" at me, yes, I am in many ways. I'm white. I have access to some generational money even tho my own family lives paycheck to paycheck - we won't be rich but have enough of a support network to be comfortable. I live in a blue area of a blue state. But I'm also a woman (legally speaking, at least) married to another woman - since before Oberkfell, and yes I remember exactly what steps we had planned any time we wanted to leave our state. My wife has physical disabilities. We have two children. Both are biracial (half black). One is trans. We are caring for an elderly parent. I am Jewish and as my kids' birth parent, so are they. I own a publishing company that publishes the exact kinds of queer and kinky lit these people intend to ban. We tick so many boxes of what these people hate.
I know ya'll are scared. Trust me, I'm terrified. But fear is paralyzing. And that won't help. Whatever happens, don't lie down and take this shit.
When Gore lost I was one month shy of my 18th birthday and already in college. I have been fighting my entire adult life, and I'm exhausted. I'm much less able to fight now, much more tied down with responsibilities. But the fight isn't over. I'm checking our passports. I'm packing a go bag. I've convinced one vulnerable friend to move here and I have another who wants to and we're figuring out how to make that happen. I'm protecting who I can, starting with putting on my mask first. I don't know what will happen but if in the end all I can do is uproot my entire life to protect my children then I am preparing to do so. I can at least save them if no one else.
None of this is normal.
And I'm not sure, after Trump's in office, that anything will ever be normal again in the US. At least not the old normal. And there are ways that's a good thing, so many ways that the old normal sucked for so many people, and I'm optimistic that there's a bright future ahead, but man it looks far away right now. I don't want to go back to the old normal, and I want to be part of establishing a kinder, more just, more equal new normal, but we're a long way from there.
Whatever happens, we must endure. We must survive. We must support each other. We must find our allies and be prepared to compromise with them. Don't try to save everyone. You'll fail. Help even one person and you can change the world. Everyone things they can't do everything and so do nothing. That's insane. Do a single thing and it will be better than nothing. One phone call. One letter. One act of defiance. Very few people get the opportunity to grand gestures that matter, and the rest of us will die waiting for that moment. But the secret is that what makes those moments - the time when one person is in the right place at the right time for their action to matter - is built on millions of small moments by millions of people doing what little they can to make things slightly better. Think of every iconic photograph of a Sole Resistor you know of and think about every single tiny thing that had to happen for that moment to occur. Most of us will never me that one person, but that one person is a myth anyway. Countless tiny unseen moments create those myths. Doing literally anything is better than doing nothing.
And tooth and nail, quietly and loudly, in our homes and our towns and cities, during protests or when they come for our neighbors, we must fight.
#unforth rambles#politics#uspol#i probably shouldnt post this#and it probably wont get traction even though i am#but stop telling people that the normal methods of hunkering diwn and waiting for a 2026 blue wave will help#stop telling people this is just like something before#its not its not its not its so fucking not stop it
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pt 2 of memes that vaguely relate to the ambiguous nihilism theme essay and stuff except this one is a lot dumber
#something something nobody has actual proof of consciousness but that doesnt mean you should treat people like garbage something something#something something monika had no idea the rest of the club was sentient and therefore could do whatever she wanted even though she really#shouldnt because what if they were sentient and also why does something definitely existing even matter if she has proof of nothing in life#admittedly a lot of this is more shaky and unrelated than the other one but i also think this meme is really funny to me so im doing it too#also made this in like ten minutes idk why i decided to edit a crappy dye job to my pencil sketch but i need to get this out into the world#doki doki literature club#ddlc#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#tempestarttag
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can you believe this is the same guy
#my art#pokemon rejuvenation#geara#geara pokemon rejuvenation#suicidal ideation tw#FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK WOOOOO#i love drawign geara!!! and lately i've been. particularly enraptured. by drawing him younger#(by like 2 years anyway) HES JUST A GUY.... UAUUuggh and i love drawing his long hair.....#''why is little geara crying'' he misses mom even though he knows he shouldnt. bc he hates her.#things were simpler when he was with her. but also suffocating and downright dangerous (looking at sirius) really bad#but still.. hes only 18 </3 just a boy
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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Someone kept being mean to Johnny :[
#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#thsc rupert price#thsc johnny panzer#art#i was originally imagining someone kept trying to 'force him' to talk or make a sound#and it made him insanely uncomfortable and self conscious even though he knows it shouldnt
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I have to do everything myself don't I? *Opens a Google doc*
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#IF ROBBIE AND LIAM WONT GIVE ME A WALE UP SCENE ILL JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT MYSELF#literally all i wanted was a walk of shame meeting between ashton and dorian#even though there shouldnt be any shame#dorym
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im going to figure out how to draw him if it kills me
#data soong#lore soong#data tng#lore tng#star trek#star trek the next generation#i thjnk that first drawing was referenced almost directly from a screencap of datalore but i drew them like they look later bc#they r kind of ugly in first szn. sorry#they also look slightly different even though they shouldnt bc i messed up but whatever. who care#fan#2024#posting this at midnight bc i’m embarrassed except i’m not bc i’m posting it but i am no yes ❤️
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this isn't a revelation or anything but i just wanna say as a person with extremely shit vision, meaning that objects too far away are literally just blobs without my glasses, people with terrible eyesight can still recognise people/objects from far away as long as they are familiar enough. The same way you can recognise a close friend or smth from the back of their head. Like if my sister was standing halfway across the street she'd look like a brown blob but id still be able to tell it was her even if she was surrounded by a dozen other brown blobs of people.
I like to think that in the same way, at the end of his performance when he's looking directly at Victor, even though Yuuri can't see shit without his glasses and Victor is surrounded by a million other people, he can still pinpoint exactly where Victor is because he's such a familiar person, the only blob Yuuri can fully tell apart. He is Yuuri's blob.
#does this make sense#i know its not exactly shocking#bc OFC you can recognise familiar ppl#but seriously#without glasses everyone and everything just look like the same blob#sometimes different blobs get smushed together so its really hard to tell how many people there are when looking from a distance#the crowd probably looks like one giant fuzzy blob to him when hes on the ice#and victor gets mixed up in that'#but bc hes so used to victor#even though he technically shouldnt be able to recognise him amongst the haze#hes still able to#which would require a PRETTY GOOD knowledge of what the other person looks like#i just thought it was worth mentioning#blob#victuuri#yoi#yuri on ice#yuuri katsuki#victor nikiforov#my headcanons#headcanon
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learning a language is sooo fun until you start really not getting shit and u get so frustrated u wanna give up and throw out all ur progress
#kae.txt#its not even hard its like basic shit and i just keep fucking it up#im also tired though and i shouldnt be studying this late it makes me more upset than usual but oh my god#i like learning i just dont like not understanding its fun to figure things out as u go its just hard man
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had to rent a bike last night bc my metro was late and i missed my train which means i missed the last bus home and now i have to bring it back to the station the tiniest bit hungover and very exhausted ughghghghhhhh😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#it's 5 euros a day i am not waiting until tomorrow it's not worth it!!#for a 10 euro fee i'm allowed to just leave it at the station near me though.....#but 10 euros feels crazy for something that shouldnt even take 40 mins#personal
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Hi guys. so about the idol cadets.
#itaru kaguragi#chihiro todo#idolish7#idol cadet#fanart#i think#look man can i balme chase for this one#(no)#tsumugi takanashi#im sorry about my natural nature to make things people wont care about#i think an important distinction is that even though chihiro admires and focuses on itaru#he doesn’t really have any motivation other than someone i aspire to be has to succeed#beyond that he hasn’t done any consideration for himself besides that#i think itaru has to look back. has to see that his rival is hindering himself#and their arc is like. chihiro only following itaru for the idol path#and chihiro realizing either. he shouldnt pursue it or that he actually does enjoy it#but its focused on his own identity this time and not itarus#i think itaru wont be able to stand half hearted feelings and will give chihiro that ultimatum#of course. his feelins would be hurt#if he finds out his rival. the person he wants to compete with. wasnt trying at all
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It's for your own good
#gopher art#tf2 pyro#team fortress 2#as an art student I shouldnt elaborate but as as a fan I must#anyway Pyro is often talked about in the fandom as though they're an animal who can't really think about their actions#or as a toddler that needs leashed to keep them safe. and I wondered 'well what if the team also tends to do that in universe?'#they alternate wildly between seeing pyro as a monster and seeing pyro as totally incapable of caring for themself#but we as an audience have SEEN that pyro is capable of thinking and making choices. we've seen that they can take care of themself.#theyre an ADULT goddamnit#but anyway yeah something something even the people who love you will silence you. even when they have good intentions
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'dragon age has gone woke!111!!'
you mean the series that has poc characters and lgbt characters in every game? you mean the series that has multiple trans characters? you mean the series that has a whole quest revolving around a gay man?
i didn't realize grifters could overlook all of that, but they draw the line at top surgery scars, but i guess they never play the games they complain about.
#im so surprised there's anti-lgbt dragon age fans#actually i kind of can bc some people can be a little weird and lowkey homophobic if you romance a bi character with the same gender#that happens in any game with bi romances tho its not specific to this series#kind of reminds of the anti-lgbt and pro corpo cyberpunk 2077 fans tbh#im surprised grifters dont complain about how slavery is shown as a bad thing /hj#im not sure if the prostitute(?) in da2 is a trans woman or a drag queen but i know theres a trans character in one of the comics#theres also obviously krem#right wing grifters pls never interact with my favorite media ever again#yall never play the games you complain about and it pisses me off sm#anyways im so happy to get to make my character be like me!#and im so happy i dont get stuck with 2 romance choices as a gay man#sorry i know we shouldnt be giving attention to grifters but it pisses me off sm even though their tiles & thumbnails are so goofy#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#kwyoz.txt
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