#Don't Think About It and It Won't Hurt Me. lmao no wonder i have problems with crying.

[orcelito]

man emotional vulnerability's so fucked lol like ive told a few ppl at work that my cat died & theyve all been like "oh my god that's so awful, im so sorry" etc etc & like Yea it's nice to have the condolences, but a part of me feels like im faking it for attention. then im like. uh. dude. ur cat really did die. ur not lying about this one bit.

tbh i sorta feel like if i wasnt there for the euthanasia & seeing him dead, i wouldnt believe it was really true. Even Then i keep having to remind myself.

shit's weird.

[unsiredtribrid]

I kind of want to talk about my micro-feelings/thoughts on hosie vs hizzie, just for my own sake and if anyone else finds it enlightening (because idk, I think a lot of people wonder why I like hosie so much. There are a lot of people who don't get it, or they misunderstand my opinions on both ships in some way or the other).

So far I do like the way hizzie is set up and the potential subtext here regarding, like. Lizzie's jealousy being interwoven with a desire to be friends with Hope, and how the twins were clearly almost territorial over who got her attention. I talk about that some here.

Howeverrr. As much as I think it's really fun as like a fanon concept that Lizzie is into Hope (and the fic I was thinking of posting that has almost 4k words so far is basically supposed to be a multi-chapter rewrite of Legacies centered on Lizzie realizing she has feelings for Hope and exploring the lesbian headcanon people have in fanon, because I think it's fun/neat to explore. So I get it. I get why people like it, because same, in fanfic)--

--I also don't actually feel any longing on Lizzie's end in a romantic sense, in canon. I think there is longing in like a connection/friend way, which is a huge part of their dynamic. I'm going to start expanding on why I think this, so please keep reading if this hasn't already upset you.

For some reason there's this big thing in fandom nowadays where people can't enjoy things in fanon without thinking they're canon, or like... idk, people can't have nuanced opinions in general about what they're watching, but I'm tired of conforming to that box, so I'm just sharing my thoughts as they are.

In the "I had a crush on you" scene, Lizzie's tears (at least to me) come off more like she's upset that Josie lied to her and felt like she had to hide something that long. I think that to an extent, Lizzie doesn't fully realize that her behavior is a constantly oppressive feeling for Josie (and that situation is also somewhat self-fulfilling, it's not entirely Lizzie's fault), to the point Josie feels the need to intentionally hide things to that extreme, I guess.

Like, the school talent show episode shows that Lizzie is aware of their toxic dynamic and what role she plays (and she is somewhat accepting/fine with it), which I talk about here, but I don't think she realizes 100% how constant and all-encompassing it is to the point that Josie kind of plots things. Like Josie planted a lie just to protect her crush on Hope-- I don't think Lizzie anticipated that level of dedication or even strife, lol. I could go on a tangent about the twins' dynamic, but I already have several posts talking about that and the problems on both sides, so I won't right now.

So, anyway. All that to say, I read her tears as feelings of betrayal, hurt and confusion. I think if she was jealous of the crush interaction specifically, or how Josie and Hope smiled at each other, it probably would've come up because Lizzie isn't someone that's very subtle about those kinds of feelings.

And then the season 1 cherry on top of the "it feels like she's not canonically into Hope that way, even though it's fun in fanon" is the moment she starts joking to Hope (in 1x14) about how hooking up with Roman would be a 'strenuous activity' to help her stress. Like yeah, it's a joke, but that's just the thing. It reads as two actual friends. It reads like Lizzie is advising Hope to jump on this opportunity to get with someone she thinks is more attractive (in a teasing way) because she thinks Landon is kinda lame. And she's right, lmao. I mean, not about Roman, he's a loser and he's not attractive. But I mean, she's right that Landon is lame and Hope should try to do better. The whole episode, she's being a good friend to Hope and then still trying to be somewhat charitable to Landon, despite being annoyed about Landon causing trouble during the pageant (because she knows he's important to Hope). She tells Hope that she'll help her get Landon back, as long as she helps her get Josie back.

And then this brings the hosie of it back around, too. Lizzie knows that Hope has an effect on Josie and with either Hope's thoughts or actions, or both, it could help smooth things over. Because she knows that Josie is soft on Hope and vice versa. The first half of season 1, Hope and Josie are sneaking around doing magic together. Hope tells Josie about what's going on with Landon and Raf before Ric tells the school or his daughters. All of hosie's behavior was flying in the face of Lizzie telling Josie to stop keeping secrets with Hope (because of the twins being kind of terretorial of that relationship, for obvious reasons already established). But they kept doing it, presumably because they kind of keep coming back to each other like magnets. Hope could trust Josie to help her with dark magic without judgment and without ratting her out and then vice versa.

Anyway, back to Hope helping Lizzie get Josie 'back'. When Hope goes to talk to Josie, Josie gets visibly jealous and snappishly refers to Hope and Lizzie being best friends. This is like... active interest on Josie's part. With the context of the crush, it just backs up this romantic tension that's underlying there. Josie never tries to be Hope's wingman. Even later on when Lizzie is suggesting it's their duty to help Hope get a rebound, Josie is staunchly kind of avoiding it. She's also the one that voices dissent about h*ndon's relationship in the cult episode, being the actual mouth piece for pointing out that Hope and Landon just fundamentally don't work (and she's right). Everything about hosie feels romantic, while in canon, hizzie feels pretty platonic thus far.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[superfallingstars]

Hey, for the playlist ask thingy, what about:

What Peter would listen to

Remus trying to find a job

What you think the weird sisters would sound like if they existed

send me a playlist prompt!

Omg sorry it took me a billion years to get to this. The problem with making playlists is that there is basically an infinite number of songs in the world and I'm always like, well maybe there's a better song out there that I haven't heard yet and I should listen to just one more song/album/artist/etc. But that's the devil speaking. Anyway these prompts were so fun and I really really enjoyed them :-) also I wrote SO much

First up is Peter! I already have a Peter playlist (it's kinda on the silly side, aka it's rat-themed), but for this, I tried to focus more on what he would listen to, rather than songs that describe him (or rats). Since Peter is evidently very impressed by showy, tasteless displays of masculinity (aka James and Sirius), I imagined he would listen to – PROGRESSIVE ROCK! Prog rock at its best is like, really incredible musicianship and composition, and if you can buy into the drama it can be really good. But at its worst, it's just tasteless and pretentious and you're like, wow these musicians are so far up their own asses that they can't even tell that their extremely technically impressive guitar solo sounds like garbage, and also did they even listen to these lyrics, cuz they suck. And I went for specifically, like, late-70s-early-80s prog rock, when it started to get really overproduced and bad. Sorry I just kind of reamed prog rock in this paragraph I swear I legitimately like it… You can only hate something this much if you're intimately familiar with it. I should also note that I chose some of these songs for their lyrics ("The Logical Song" and "The Very Last Time" both are REALLY great songs for Peter's personality and friendship with James, respectively) and some of them are even good. They're not all bad. But they're mostly bad. Anyway! Please enjoy my garbage! 

Track list:

Supertramp - The Logical Song: "The questions run too deep / For such a simple man / Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned / I know it sounds absurd / Please tell me who I aaaam!!!"

Utopia - The Very Last Time: I love you Todd Rundgren. "Nobody sees how you treat me like dirt / Nobody knows just how badly a man can hurt [....] It's the very last time you will get on my case / It's the very last time 'cause I won't be a fool no more!"

Yes - Roundabout: this song is literally good

Rush - New World Man: man I hate Rush. But this is rather tolerable. "He's old enough to know what's right / But young enough not to choose it / He's noble enough to win the world / But weak enough to lose it / He's a new world man"

Yes - Parallels: sucks

Kansas - Point of Know Return: sucks

Asia - Heat of the Moment: sucks but it's a classic

Yes - Leave It: sucks even more than the last Yes song, which is really saying something

Electric Light Orchestra - The Way Life's Meant to Be: We're ending on a good note imo. They don't make concept albums about time travel like they used to! But really I put this on here because it made me giggle. "...I wish I was back in 1981 / Just to see your face instead of this place / Now I know what you mean to me / Ooh, and I wonder, yes I wonder / Is this the way life's meant to be?" lol. lmao even

Ok onto music that is good!

Next prompt was Remus trying to find a job! Gah I adored this prompt! That being said I kind of just made the saddest playlist ever LOL. I'm really fascinated by the time in Remus's life between the Potters' deaths and his employment at Hogwarts. Wtf did he do all those years? How did he get by? Since this playlist is about that time in his life, it's full of songs about the meaninglessness of life and just generally feeling lonely and empty and disconnected. And also working. FUN. Again I admittedly poached a lot of songs on here from my (very bloated and unfinished) Remus playlist. As far as genre goes, I like the idea of Remus having a pretty eclectic taste. But I tend to lean towards things that are lo-fi, scrappy, and less polished, as well as things that are a little jangly or jazzy (basically what I'm saying is that The Cleaners from Venus are theeee Remus band of all time). I'm going to try to restrain myself with the commentary this time

Track list:

Yo La Tengo - Everyday: One of the most depressing songs of all time imo. "Looking to forget tomorrow, looking everyday." Yeowch!

The Cleaners from Venus - Wivenhoe Bells (II): Like I said the Remus band of all time to me. Jangly, jazzy, lo-fi, + incredibly catchy songs about everyday English life

Even As We Speak - Nothing Ever Happens

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues

Pavement - Here: "I was dressed for success / But success, it never comes" 👍

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: obviously

Nick Drake - Been Smoking Too Long

Galaxie 500 - Cold Night

The Dismemberment Plan - Come Home: The more I listen to these guys, the more I'm convinced that they're one of the best bands ever, as well as being the rare math rock band with good lyrics. Very literary.

Mount Eerie - Moon, I Already Know: I can recite this whole thing like some devastating prayer. Remus song of all time. Moon, I already know I'm small on the ground I roll around and feel menacing mountains And all depths of sorrow dwarf me All towering terrors are mine to cower below I know, I know, I know already So don't look at me like that and then Duck behind clouds I know I'm small and that I have no idea I know, I know, I know Let me be dumb again Let food drip off my chin Let me think you're a light Please please let me sleep through the night unknowing Let me close eyes. Ok I'm gonna throw up and die

Ok this was probably the most difficult prompt for me – I really had no idea what The Weird Sisters would sound like. But if there's any area of music that I'm familiar with, it's mediocre 90s alternative rock, so let's get to it. In the movie, The Weird Sisters are made up of members of Pulp (hi, Jarvis Cocker) and Radiohead, so I decided to start there. And I think Britpop is a natural place to start for a UK band that was big in the 90s. But I wasn't really feeling it with the usual culprits – Pulp was too sweeping and dramatic... I thought Oasis would be more "rock," but frankly, they were just too annoying. I wanted something a little more power pop (a genre that I can only describe as sounding like Disney TV show theme songs. Or, like, Stacy's Mom). And while tapping through related artists for small Britpop bands I've never heard of, I came across the song "1 Time, 2 Times Devastated," and I was like – THIS IS IT. Exactly the kind of mediocre 90s rock/power pop that I was looking for. (Also sorry that I keep saying mediocre I just can't imagine that The Weird Sisters are very good LMFAO! Idk wizards have not convinced me that they have a cool youth culture! Sorry bout it!) Other than that, I thought "Girl From Mars" by Ash was also a good fit. The rest of the playlist is mostly early Radiohead songs (they've got that Britpop feel, but they're a little messier and unpolished. And solidly mediocre) and the more up-tempo Supergrass songs (there's this sort of bouncy piano + drum thing they do that I quite like).

Track list:

DM3 - 1 Time, 2 Times Devastated

Ash - Girl from Mars

Radiohead - Just

Cud - Robinson Crusoe

Supergrass - Tonight

Radiohead - Anyone Can Play Guitar

Supergrass - Moving

The Stems - At First Sight

Radiohead - Thinking About You

Supergrass - Richard III

Anyway this was probably more specific than anyone would ever want but idk man. What I lack in media taste (what with my enjoyment of Harry Potter and other mediocre children's media) I make up for in, um, media taste (pretentious music nerd).

Thank you so much for the ask. Please send me more music asks I beg. There's like a 20 business day turnaround but like, I love making playlists, and getting to infodump about music is literally my dream. I hope you enjoy the playlists :-)

[liyuee-qixing]

Helloooo!! I was wondering if anytime soon u we’re gonna write part two for “ I still want to be your favorite boy” or just whenever u can pls ^^

“I still want to be your favorite boy” PT.2

Honestly I forgot someone on earth is reading my fanfic.

Probably going to start writing again soon idk though my time is very limited,can't have a second for myself smh,happy ramadhan for those who's celebrating!

(im thinking of writing for other fandom as bsd and obey me tbh)

CW/TW: jealousy, possible unrequited love

He then quickly flee away from the library,his heart aches the way it never does,his wrath and envy filling ever single inch of his body. What does that guy has that he doesn't!? (Height lmao),he know he's the reason you guys broke up but seeing you spend another of your sweet smile and giggle with everyone else but him.. hurt him in the deepest part of his soul. He took a deep breath of fresh air before letting it out again. You're really the one for him,no matter how popular and how many other girl that has a crush and wanted him,they all will never look at him,treat him or comfort him the way you did. They all didn't have the special place in his heart,unlike you who's his whole heart will always aches in unknown warm feeling for.

That's it, he's going to make this up to you. It was still a club time.. almost home,he make sure to slip a letter of invitation to meet him at you both class after club time into your locker. To be honest,he never could focus whenever subject come. His gaze will make it way to you,and always you,the way your hair shine,the way your lips plump always look so nice to kiss,the way your voice rang around his mind all the time.. he was overwhelmed for the yearnings and envy feeling,he was overwhelmed that he doesn't get any of your attention anymore since the day you broke up..

The time to met up and resolve the problem finally came,to his suprise you're already there before he did. You sat on a table with your gaze turn down and a gleam of smile was painted on your face.

"you're here,i didn't expect you to come." Scara stated,as he look up to your face, walking in to the classroom, you seem to not face his gaze,rather.. you found Yourself avoiding it.

"you said you wanted to talk about something important, perhaps,Childe was still busy with his club for a second that he can't drive me home yet."scaramouche groans as he heard the name childe fall down your mouth,this is the only moment where he would admit he's jealous, he's full of jealousy,envy,and wrath knowing Childe will drive you home today,what? Are you both a thing or something? Did you not know he never treat girl seriously!?

"yeah I did,I wanna know why are you hanging out with Childe."he slams his hand on the table you're sitting on,making an expected loud noise across the quiet classroom. The distance between you both are just a matter of height,you just hum in response

"why not? Sure he might just fool with me,but- but he give me a sense of comfort.. sure if you don't want me to hang with him I can hang with someone else,aether,Xiao or heizhou from class 3-A always willing to hang with me."his envy filled more and more it's like he can explode at any moment now.. he move his face an inch closer,now your gaze and his glaze met,your eyes gleam in something almost like sorrow and sadness,his eyes glean in something one might say is loneliness as wind sweep softly through your hair

"no,won't you take the hint? I'm jealous! Damnit! I can't bear you with other person! I know I'm the reason we broke up but- but.."his words got caught in his tongue.. he can't focus now the way you look at him,he see the way your eyes gleam in sorrow and sadness all because of him.. the beautiful sight of you Infront of him,he may achieve your figure Infront of him,but he will never achieve your heart.

"but what? You've broke me in the way I never feel,I trust you with my full heart,i trust you to not hurt me like my previous relationship went.. I don't understand you.."you spoke, it sound like.. you're in the verge of tears? And he's know he's the cause of it,you cry day and night because of him, your sleeping schedule got bother by him,heck even your score in exam is going down after he broke up With you!

"b-but listen to me [Y/N]! I'm willing to change.. I'm willing to do anything-"he said, groggily but bluntly,very out of character of him.. he's usually very confident.. he stood for who he is but now.. he's just so vulnerable. Perhaps it's the pressure? Or was it the the thought of not owning you again?

"I'm sorry,Kuni, you're just not the one for me"and once again,the wind sweep your hair harsher than last time,you smiled softly at him as you placed your gaze at his almost teary and pleading eyes.. before you stood up from the table

And just like that you leave the room,running toward a tall slither figure with an orange hair.. perhaps,Scara was left in silence.. felt like his heart was just pounding too hard and it's broke just like that. Perhaps this is really the price of his sins..

If I'm sad today everyone has to be sad idc

[malleablemusic]

unfortunately, my boyfriend unironically listens to weezer, and has caught wind about this blog. after a month of trying, he has successfully convinced me to use this album for this week's blog. let the record state that i have heard island in the sun before, as aquamarine is one of my favorite movies in the entire world (for anyone wondering, he will now be watching that fantastic piece of cinematic history with me in exchange for this post). anyways, here's my review of weezer's self titled album:

don't let go: 3/5 stars

i love when a man sings "ill be down on my knees" for some reason its just so vulnerable

loving the simp energy he is giving, whole song is just begging so far

this is transforming me into a 14 year old boy with a spiky haircut, learning guitar in my room, suddenly i want to play basketball in my driveway

his voice is very classic, especially for the music genre, but doesn't feel unique enough for me

photograph: 2.9/5 stars

i always love clapping in songs, especially in an intro

such a fun beat, i could dance around my room to this

i think he just liked getting to repeat "re-erect it" over and over

hash pipe: 4.6/5 stars

oh okay raaaangeee!!!! is this a completely different singer

feels like such a different vibe than the first two

what happens when that 14yr old spiky haired kid gets older and gains access to marijuana lmao

i didn't know weezer could be angsty this is great

"you've got your problems / i've got my eyes wide / you've got your big g's / i've got my hash pipe" he's truly speaking words of wisdom

island in the sun: 5/5 stars

it is very hard for me to separate this song from the film that means so very much to me (aquamarine) so i simply will not be

the pure joy and light and love this song exudes its insane

i am instantly transported to a beach, in a bikini and big shirt, hair damp and sun-bleached, off a margarita and dancing in the sunset

i am obsessed with the guitar solo and need to learn how to play just for this

the way he sings "we'll never feel bad anymoreeee" !! IM HEALED

crab: .1/5 stars

okay continuing with the beach theme

brb googling what it means to crab?

according to the internet they're just complaining about the women. ok way to let me down after one of my favorite songs ever

is this just a man upset a woman won't sleep with him

"crab at the booty / 'taint gonna do no good" shutttt uppp ! just shut up (:

this is really gonna lower the album's average huge L for them

knockdown dragout: 2.5/5 stars

lyrics are kind of giving nothing, repetitive

i do enjoy the guitar, they always eat with that, but this is kind of boring

smile: 2.8/5 stars

i like his little belting when he sings "'cause i don't wanna break"

the guitar solos in this album !! even the short ones, so good

follows the common theme i see of wanting a girl to give him a chance...

simple pages: 2.8/5 stars

yup okay another song asking a girl to give him a chance - truly, i get it, and this is a valid form of art you go sir, i just do not see myself listening to this kinda music

i do enjoy pining every once in a while do not get me wrong

another bangin guitar solo

feels like i don't have much to say about this..

glorious day: 3/5 stars

angsty nerdy boy decides its time to finally make a move and ask a girl out

i like these kinds of weezer songs more, the "grittier" sound

giving angry high school band in a battle of the bands competition

o girlfriend: 2/5 stars

i think what i don't like about them is while their sound is good and i enjoy it, the lyrics are truly so generic and not special

i think I said this in an earlier post, and i am not trying to be disparaging, but an AI chatbot could've easily written this in 30 seconds- i just don't believe he's actually hurt and grieving a love, i want to feel the artists genuine pain, this does not sound like a man torn apart

sadly, i was very underwhelmed by this album. to my partner's credit, this is not his favorite of their work, so maybe i will give the rest of their music a try eventually, but for now that was very mid (aside from the perfection that is island in the sun) and i'd give the album 2.7/5 stars.

[ikamigami]

If that thing was an actual virus the Creator put in Sun's head, because of the red eyes, who do we think its going to attack first?:

Could it attack Earth or Moon?

Might it try/succeed in killing Sven when he checks on Sun's systems?

Will it make Sun attack Dazzle and Jack hurts/potentially kills Sun defending her?

Will it make Sun attack Molten to capture him? Or Lunar? Or FC?

Or might Nexus and Ruin capture Sun to use him like the Creator did and it triggers then and attacks them?

Might Monty get broken again?

Or something else? No matter what it's going to be awful for Sun

Yeah if it's some virus than something like that may happen..

I imagine that Sun's line "I'll break something one of these days" (iirc) was referring to this..

This thing will take over Sun and break something.. or rather someone I presume..

I think that doesn't matter if it's virus or only a mental thing.. it'll definitely cause Sun to spiral..

I wonder if we'll get one of the things I was talking about in my blog:

Sun will try to take out this thing from his head by force which would mean his death but two things can happen - this is how he kills himself or someone stops him before he does too much damage to himself

Sun will try to kill himself during tortures caused by either Creator or Nexus - personally I think it'll be when Nexus will kidnap him cause we have more hints for this happening - cause he tried to free himself from nightmare by killing himself.. though it was a good idea but it was a bit weird that he immediately jumped to that idea without any hesitation or second thoughts.

I know that many people said that they won't show something like that but tbh.. the hints and foreshadowing to Sun trying to kill himself are strong and there's too much of that shit to ignore it..

But like I said I think that Sun won't die die.. but he'll end up in a coma or something like that..

Cause that would be awful if Sun succeeded and tbh I doubt that they'd make Sun succeed..

And imagine that I was always talking about it like that.. though I have to admit that when I had an episode I was more on edge and me talking about Sun being suicidal was more like a doom posting shshshskshkshskshksh

And for some reason people have to have a problem with that even though they didn't have a problem with others talking about Eclipse being suicidal or that Moon or Nexus are having xyz issues..

And I always tried to point out this hypocrisy which made these folks even more mad at me lol

I know that sometimes I was unnecessary mean in my posts because of the agitated state I was in back then.. but tbh I more often than not was saying that people on Discord tsbs server are stupid and they don't care about Sun..

And it made them so pissed at me lmao now it seems funny to me.. but back then when I had an episode I treated it seriously..

The truth is that I should block these people long time ago cause they never wanted to have a normal discussion about anything.. it was always we don't agree with you and/or we don't like your theories so begone..

And ofc they had to make themselves to be seen as the more righteous ones solely because it's so "wrong and disturbing" of me to say that Sun is suicidal.. even though they themselves have many angsty ideas with Eclipse..

It was okay for them to say that Eclipse actually cares way before it was confirmed but it was only hinted.. but apparently it wasn't okay for me to say that Sun has mental issues that make him suicidal when things weren't confirmed yet but only hinted..

You see the hypocrisy, right?

I think that they didn't like that I was openly critisizing them for their hypocrisy.. and that's why they were attacking me..

Sorry for the rant but I wanted to make it clear that there was never anything wrong with me saying that Sun is suicidal and that he may try to kill himself..

It was wrong of them to assume that I wished Sun to be suicidal when it was never the case but it's like that when people either can't read or they try to smear some shit about you because they don't like you.. ofc the second one is worse because it'd mean that they were doing it on purpose..

But regardless of their intentions they still hurt me a lot and they never felt the need to apologize for that.. even though I apologized for going way overboard with my words when I had an episode..

Once again sorry for the rant and I hope that you don't mind it, dear anon 🙇‍♀️

[lenteur]

random thoughts about strong girl nam soon, episode six

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

At first i was wondering why nam soon was explaining her lineage and how it's only the women who inherit the superhuman strength but then it's because she's turning 22.

oh so it's mandatory to find a suitor at the age of 22, interesting. Because it's the height of the women's strength.

Hwang geum ju being even more interested in hee sik now that she thinks he has feelings for her daughter. He's just concerned about nam soon but she immediately jumps to the conclusion of "Hee sik is in love with my daughter."

hwang geum ju 'inspecting' hee sik because he seems like a good suitor is hilarious. Poor boy just wants to find the drugs but now he's involved in nam soon's love life lmao

we all know they're gonna end up together (nam soon & hee sik) but still, he's not at the stage of being sure of his feelings for nam soon yet.

*shocked pikachu face* I thought nam soon wouldn't be able to recognize hwa ja because i don't think they've ever come face to face before but she still recognized her impostor. I am surprised. Or maybe I didn't pay attention and missed something in the previous episodes.

I like that nam soon, instead of going into fight mode, opted for her mother's response to the whole hwa ja ordeal. She chose to forgive her and tell her they (nam soon & her mother) understand why hwa ja did this. However there's still a warning that if hwa ja ever does this again, nam soon won't forgive her.

I think this hurt hwa ja even more than nam soon directly fighting her. I don't think hwa ja likes being shown compassion and understanding because she equates this to being pitied. The actress playing her is doing an amazing job with her facial expressions. I'm repeating myself I know that but it's just that she's incredibly talented. I don't know if she ever played such a role in the past but if she ever decides to star in one, and as the main role, it would be an instant hit.

It's weird for me to say this but I feel for hwa ja. Don't get me wrong, I still think she's a bad person for what she's done to nam soon and her mother, but part of me still feels for her when I see people treating her with disrespect (manager telling her off when she clapped back at a customer who groped her). It's like seeing a pressure cooker about to explode. She's always been alone. She's never had anyone who she could trust. She's always had to fend for herself and that is why I'm feeling sympathy for her.

/!\ Going back to one of my previous points, I don't like how they're treating nam-in in this drama. He's always the butt of the joke and they're treating him being overweight as something to poke fun of instead of helping him out. Even he said that eating is his way of unwinding and not think about all his stress. Yet, as we can see here, HIS MOTHER is mocking him by comparing him to p1gs. Absolutely disgusting behavior by hwang geum ju. I know that some parents think "pushing/criticizing" their kids about their weight is the best way to make them want to diet but trust me, it's not. Making fun of your own child should NEVER and i mean NEVER be the solution. The best solution is to seek help from a specialist who will make a diagnosis and move forward accordingly. A lot of people who suffer from obesity suffer from many other things as well (sleep deprivation, depression, heart problems, etc.) And to think that some parents/family members/friends believe that making fun of someone's insecurity/health problem will miraculously make them want to get a cure for said disease is INSANE!!! I'm just over it with this show making fun of nam in when it could have done a much better job at tackling obesity.

I'm getting angry but for a good reason. I know the men in nam soon's family are seen as 'losers (affectionate)' and 'weak' because they don't have this super human strength but still, I don't understand why they chose nam in's funny/ok to make fun of trait to be his obesity when it's such a tough thing to go through. I'm absolutely livid to see it keep on happening. You should never joke about someone's health, but it seems ok to mock someone who's obese. Get a grip!

Ugh. Severe minus points for hwang geum ju. She's using her hatred for her now ex-husband to not talk to her own son. It's insane how she wants him to slim down first before she interacts with him again.

Nam in himself stated he hates being the butt of the joke. He doesn't want to pursue an education just so others won't make fun of him. That's how deeply-rooted the comments about his weight are. And to think that one of the people who should help him/be there for him is adding on to making fun of him is disgusting.

Now even the father is telling him "Just lose the weight. Is it that hard?" I'm speechless. How can you be so insensitive to your own child's struggle? I know that both parents are considered normal/slim in terms of weight and I doubt they ever went through an overweight/obese phase but if you see your own child struggling to lose the weight and verbally telling you how hard it is for him to lose weight, shouldn't you idk accompany him to seek professional help? Like any sane parents would do. They even have the money to take an appointment with the best of the best nutritionists. I'm just suprised at how desensitized they are to their own son's problems. All they both (parents) seem to focus on now that nam soon is back is nam soon herself. It's like nam in became a secondary character. JUST TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT AND LOVE!!! Is that too much to ask for? /!\

This brings me to nam in saying he's tried every diet pill there is. I wonder if he's tried the one the mysterious woman gave him yet. He might be the key to finding out who the real culprit is in the doogo dr*g case. I'm intrigued now. Edit: NO NAM IN. DON'T INGEST THE DR*G NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

This episode made me like hwang geum ju less. She's a good person to her daughter and those in need, that's for sure. But I don't like how she's treating her own son and her secretary.

The close up shots in this episode are making me cackle. It's such a great comedy tool.

Hwang geum ju seeing through bread song's lies was such a sweet sweet moment.

So as we can see with the leader of the diu team, the dr*g's effects are heightened with water and, if a minuscule amount is ingested, the victim will survive longer. We can see the dr*g does give superhuman strength as well. If we ever get a fight scene in future episode, this will be epic. I know for sure.

I'm rooting for the gil dan's love story. It's like seeing a teenager crushing on someone for the first time ever.

So ryu si o was able to survive because he drank the dr*g and the antidote at the same time. Seems the effects of the dr*g are only temporary though and that's why he's ingesting it many times.

Seeing nam in finally speaking to his mom first and letting her know how she mistreated him felt so freeing. I shed a tear or two. I'm proud of him for standing up to what he knows is right.

Ending this episode with a cliffhanger like this one? TORTURE

all the making fun of nam in's weight to justify him taking the dr*gs. I can understand it but still, i'm a little iffy about the way it was treated.

i'll give this episode an 8/10

side note: the comments i made between the two /!\ are things i'm not sure i have a definite opinion on. Depending on how nam in's story will unfold, I'll either reconsider what i wrote or have the same opinion as what i stated before. I'm just unsure at the moment.

[papirouge]

Purge French scrotes, wtf is wrong with them? I just read this article “French husband drugged wife, invited 80+ men to rape her while unconscious for 10 years” and it made me cry for this poor woman. I read that these scrotes didn’t even consider it rape and was shocked being arrested because they believed “the husband can dispose and use his wife’s body however they want”

I seriously want to stay single forever

Don't even look into the story of the man who killed his wife and spread her body parts at the Parc des Buttes-Chaumont 💀 (literally one of the most visited parc of Paris)

And you know what? Since both the victim and his husband where Muslim, far right scrotes made it about themselves and said how dangerous immigration was 🤡 OF COURSE they won't say the problem is male violence against WOMEN nooo they had to shove their immigration obsessive agenda onto this story. Immigration isn't responsible for killing that woman - they were both "immigrants".

Rightoids scrotes HATE being reminder that the common denominator in crimes perpetrator is their SEX. If immigration alone was the issue, there would be as many women offender. But that's not the case. It's MEN terrorizing women, whether they're locals or immigrants.

Chemsex fan Pierre Palmade killing a baby in the womb, and cause a whole family to be hospitalized (for life long injuries for the father and son) after taking the wheel while high on coke was a pure White french scrote. Btw he got fred and got recently spotted recently in a night club high as a kite. French people got mad and since he realized this was bad for his image (his trial has yet to come) he asked to get back to hospital. Lmao this idiot thinks he's sleek. He doesn't regret anything. He just knows that him partying while waiting for his trial will hurt his defense so his lawyer advised him to get back to the hospital to pretend he actually cared.

I wonder what happened to the p*do content that's been found in his laptop? .... not much will ever come out of it imo bc french elites are all pedophile protecting each other. The Première Dame is a trans and a pedophile who groomed Macron when he was 14. France is de facto cursed for having such person in the government highest sphere. Look : the magistrate who offered his underage daughter in a swinging porn website didn't even go to prison.. that's how bad it is here.

[naivesilver]

just had an evil thought but I can't help but wonder what things would be like for either some of the other thousand problems gang (or between Eliana and Blue/Geppetto/August) during the spell of shattered sight? I would love to hear your thoughts about it if you have any on the matter? 👀

You know what your evil thought deserves???? An even eviler reply 😠😠😠😠 you put this ficlet idea in my head and by God now you will suffer with me. In the show I think the fairies were in the hat while the spell went down but hey, this AU has everything happen at once already, so here they probably never went in the first place LMAO

Send me an episode/chapter/scene/ect. and I'll tell you what my OC was doing during it

"Mother," Eliana calls out, a singsong lilt to her voice. "Won't you come out and greet me, Mother?"

There is no answer, but that does not shock her excessively. She knows the nuns haven't fled - she can feel their presence, thrumming at the edge of her perception in the building before her. Either she is being ignored, or all fairies have sealed themselves inside the convent, to avoid adding their magic to the fighting that rages all across Storybrooke.

That's fine. Eliana doubts that they have been fastidious enough in laying down boundaries to keep the likes of her out - usually it's the other way around, her mother haunting her even though she refuses to talk, but it's a strange day, this one. Surely, a little change of pace won't hurt.

No more than the entire town is already hurt, at least. The people would be enough, all their frustration and fury and clashing spirits, but Eliana can feel more than that, deep into the river and out into the forest. There is magic in that place, and it throbs through her veins and up to the tips of her fingers, like the pain from a twitching nerve - her feet are planted at the entrance of the convent, but her mind is in the woods, listening to the birds shriek angrily as they clamor to fight each other.

Perhaps she should have gone to her father, first, but she does not feel the same reproach for him she has for her mother. And besides, August will likely be butting heads with old Geppetto himself - her baby brother is a grown man, now, and all his anger is justified. Part of Eliana wishes she could see the moment it spills out and bowls their Papa down, but she has more important things to do, right now.

Her bare feet patter down the tiled floor that leads to the main doors, impressively quiet compared to the noise still coming from Main Street. Bummer. She'd hoped the Blue Fairy would hear her coming, would feel the same dread Eliana used to feel, when her mother would visit when she was a child. Her teeth call for biting-tearing-drawing blood, but there's nothing wrong about instilling some fear first.

Especially, she thinks, if the fear comes from the woman who ruined her life.

She knocks gingerly, almost mockingly enthusiastic. "Come out, come out, wherever you are. We don't have all day, mommy dearest."

It irks her, to know that this stubbornness is all her father's influence, that this man who traded her for a younger, more pliable child raised her to be unflinching to such a degree. She wants to yell at him, later. She wants to sink her claws right where it hurts him the most, and then seek out Jiminy to ask if his conscience doesn't gnaw at him, knowing he allowed a boy to be sent out to his doom while a girl he'd known since she was a babe was put aside like a broken toy. She wants them to know how much it hurts.

And still, she is grateful. If she weren't this stubborn, perhaps she'd have already given up on this hunt. Instead she is here, and her father's iron will propels her forward, while her mother's blood allows her to call for help to creatures who will listen.

This boon, she'll grant to the Mother Superior: without her, Eliana would have never had this at her disposal. It's how she survived infancy, while she was growing in all the wrong ways and crying until driads came to peer into her crib. It's how she found her brother hiding in his caravan in the woods, selfish, stupid prodigal son that he is. It's how she can reach out and find who will do her bidding, even if she's tainted blood and not all magic from top to foot.

Her mother once told her that those who can sense such things should be careful of what they do with their knowledge. She said forests especially are beasts with many heads, ready to wake up and snap their jaws at whoever dares disturb them.

Eliana has no trouble believing it, now, for when she pushes the convent doors open and strides inside, the forest around Storybrooke rears its ugliest one and roars, dozens upon dozens of beaks and paws and wings and fangs seizing up to journey alongside her.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Friday, February 23rd, 2024!

7:55am: I slept for so long and woke up with no alarms this morning :) feels amazing. Still had a huge orange chunk come out of my nose but it's less than before, I just don't know when it will stop lol (I literally had to get up while writing this and do another one). Last night I had to go to sleep unexpectedly early bc I had a milkshake and it made me so bloated omg. I think I'm officially at that age where I really can't just be eating anything 😂 of course I can bc I'm an independent woman 💅 but not without The Consequences. Also I just popped my BC in and I'm ready for my period to stop and also for the stomach issues to stop omg it's been rough out here. It really feels like spring break should be today, but the pros to it being next week are that it's one week closer to the end, I won't be on my period at all, and hopefully it will be warmer!! I'm tired of this cold ass weather!!

I feel good today besides the random brain thoughts that I don't particularly want. I need to figure out how to replace those thoughts with ones I do what. This journaling, as much ranting as it is, definitely helps me I guess regulate my runaway thoughts. I really want to take a post poop nap though those are the best so ttyl lmao.

10:47am: omg I continued to sleep until 9:50am I don't know how to explain to people how much sleep I really feel like I need. Idk it's probably depression but that's literally ok I'm just doing what I can. I still miss him and that's ok too. I don't really miss him I literally miss just having someone to talk to. But he fucked up and it's his loss, not mine. He lost a genuine person, and I lost a liar who cheats and steals money and nothing he does is genuine, it's all fake to get people to like him so he can use their shit for all it's worth. What's crazy is he's so fake he doesn't even care about these cats after he kept saying he misses them oh boohoo me it's like losing two kids, then blocks me so he'll effectively never fucking see them again. He's literally so fake AF. I take pride knowing I'm not a fake ass bitch and I don't lie to people. Doesn't matter if people believe me or not because I know I'm not lying about anything. If you think I'm lying, you just have something else going on in your life that you have to deal with clearly. This image of them getting on the bike together I think will stay with me for a while, I guess visuals are really my downfall. I know I'm the bigger person bc I literally said yeah y'all are cute together before he stopped speaking to me and everything was chill. It was chill because I made it chill. I made this entire friendship what it was and I'm really convinced of it now tbh. I don't like him, I like me and how I act towards him 😂 I like nice people, aka myself lmao.

If everyone likes me except for you.... Sorry I don't think I'm the problem boo 😘 just a matter of time before he does some more stupid shit I'm sure I'll hear about 🙄

Happy Friday!!

1:02pm ate my ramen leftovers and my boss is buying me CFA Cobb salad for work later :') people are awesome ❤️

10:09pm: JFC my feet hurt like hell. I wish I had a guy to rub my feet fr but one day lol. I just realized he didn't block me on sc so I could technically add him back whenever, I wonder if he's waiting for me to do that?? Hmmmm he's such a narcissist it's wild, plus the whole posting at me when I'm technically blocked on ig is actually crazy af. I bet $200 if he adds me back on ig that post will magically be gone or the caption would change. He's so petty and acts like a little bitch. Literally can't relate 💀

11:40pm: finished my law assignment and I'm so tired I think I'll eat my salad leftovers and literally pass out. My eyes are literally burning.

I really just be out here gaslighting tf outta myself. I'm sitting here like wowza I wish I had "guy" to vibe w me after getting done with my hw.... But it's been so long it's funny that I forget, that man in particular would NOT want to chill with me after I'm finished with my hw!! Name literally one time when he ever fucking did that?? Literally he never fucking did. I'm so gaslighting myself into thinking we'd be doing anything rn, he would've pissed me off all night and then would probably be asleep rn. There would not be random drive thru trips bc he's on a lame ass diet and won't stfu about it and there wouldn't be cuddling bc he would've pissed me off the entire afternoon sitting on his ass making fucking messes instead of contributing anything ever to the home we share and it would infuriate me!! That's not attractive 🙄 so yeah gaslighting tf out of myself to think that would be happening 🤣 it's been so long I forget how exhausting that bullshit was!! Don't go back sis you literally hated it!! Wack AF and manipulative tbh.

One day, there will be a man, he will rub my feet when I get off work, even better he'll see the insides of my shoes, know that I'm too busy/ADHD to remember to get insoles, and would surprise me with new insoles for my shoes ❤️ that's what care and love looks like. We will have a cute snack and then probably fuck before bed bc we are both grown and not scared of a little period fr, and he would get me a towel and draw up a shower for me afterwards and I'd come back into the clean bedroom with no dirty shit on the floor and get into my made bed and snuggle with the real love of my life who loves and respects me 🥰 manifesting lol 💕

[mrs-hollandstan]

Heyy🤍 I don’t know it your requests are open but can can you pls write something with Mob!Tom where they have a fight and Tom says something that really really hurts the reader and she storms out and doesn’t come back until it’s late at Night and Tom is super worried about her...just angst and fluff 🥺love your writing!!

Lmao, why am I a ho for this kinda stuff??

"You are such a selfish cunt! It'd be so much easier if I had a whole in here from the club. At least she'd leave me the fuck alone and keep her goddamn mouth shut and her head down!" Is what he'd screamed at you. He normally was very proud of your "feministic" ideas, but now here he was, red in the face as you go back and forth over something you'd mentioned wanting him to do one too many times. 

Your mouth hung open as you stared up at him, and you scoffed after a moment before you shook your head and turned without another word said, collecting your purse, phone, and keys and storming for the front door, 

"If you leave… you better plan on not fucking coming back." He spits. You scoff again, 

"Don't threaten me with a good fucking time. Maybe I'll find one of your enemies offer up my cunt because at least he won't fucking make it seem like I'm the problem!" You scream before you're heading outside, slamming the front door behind you. 

Tom is fuming, you're fuming, but instead of doing what you'd said, you head for a bar, calling a friend to meet you for the night. She does, and after many hours and many drinks, you're slightly drunk, sober enough to know to ignore the texts and calls of Tom, his worry becoming more evident the later it gets. You were so, so tempted to find a willing man to take you into the bathroom, let you film him fucking you just to send to Tom, but it wasn't worth it. You were exhausted now, over carrying on the fight, 

"Will you take me past his place, let me pick some stuff up and I'll come sleep on your couch?" You ask of her. She nods, following you out. She parks at the gate, watching you walk up the drive and into the dark house. You find a spare box, collecting your things from the bathroom connected to yours and Tom's shared bedroom, heading into the walk-in closet for some clothes. Before you can stow away much, the light flicks on and you hiss as your eyes burn, 

"Where the hell have you been?" Tom asks. You chuckle softly, now sorting through your most worn clothes in the light, 

"Like you care." 

"Believe it or not, I do. Daniels is still out there and he's a big threat. I thought he'd taken you. I left you messages."

"I got them. Heaven forbid I burden you with all that worrying. I was fine." You murmur. He watches you silently until you're picking up your box, 

"What are you doing?" 

"Staying with Mari. At least she doesn't feel burdened by me." You spit, tossing some more of your essentials into the box. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing softly, 

"I said all of that shit in a spur of the moment. I didn't mean it." 

"Didn't you? I mean… heaven forbid I have a say in this house! I don't know why I've stuck around this long." You yell, turning to stare at him. His eyes flicker between yours, 

"I've changed a lot of my life for you Y/N. You know I love you and you do have a say." 

"You have a funny way of showing your love. Don't think anyone I've ever had love me has used the term cunt as a term of endearment." 

"You and I both know you aren't a cunt. I… I spoke out of tune. I was mad." 

"But how much of that has just been lurking in the back of your mind huh? How long have you been fed up with me? Why didn't you just say it before it got to this point, I mean shit, I can handle a breakup, I just need to know you want it." You tell him. You hate that your body is betraying you as tears spring to your eyes. His eyes dart between yours again, 

"I don't… want to break up." He mumbles, "I said some shit I didn't mean and I'm sorry. But… I don't want to lose you. Not after tonight. It was rough wondering if you were just avoiding me or if someone had taken you. I would've died if something happened to you when you were supposed to be safe here, with me." He says softly, a quiver in his voice. You stare at him, 

"You can't just… say things like that and just expect me to forgive you. I need space now. I need to find it in me to trust you again, trust that this shit you're saying now is how you feel." You remind him. He nods, 

"Course. There's many rooms in this house. Hell… invite Mari in. Just… I need to know you're safe tonight. That's all I need." He explains. You two stare at each other for a moment before you deflate and concede,

"Fine. I'll go get Mari. But don't expect me to just forgive you overnight." You tell him. He shakes his head, 

"Course not." You nod before you're trying to move past him. But he wraps his arms around you, squeezing your body into his, his face nuzzled in your neck. You press your hands over his arms, 

"I'm glad you're okay." He mumbles. You nod, staring into the bedroom you share. The bedroom with so many good memories that you can't imagine leaving behind, had things turned out differently tonight,

"Yeah… me too." You mumble into his shoulder as he rubs your back. And of course it'll take time, but at least that feeling of comfort has returned, now that you're back with your mobster. 

[transmasc-wizard]

psssst psssssssssstttttt

talk about the ableism and saneism in the writblr community. it needs to be talked about (i would help but wordnt)

thank u for the motivation!! also i hope 1) wordn't becomes wordy, and/or 2) u have a pleasant time while wordn't

anyway

god where do i start. This is probably going to be messy and angry and not the super convenient nice happy disabled person but GOD i'm so fucking tired lmao

starting. starting. Ah! i'll start with this: I am autistic, and the people who diagnosed me also generally agreed I have some form of anxiety. (I'm also currently figuring out if I'm struggling with depression.) I don't have first-hand experience with being physically disabled, and I am not every neurodiversity ever.

So, that's the standpoint I'm coming from in regards to first-hand experience; talking about disabilities I don't have will just be me repeating what I've seen around, as well as me taking experience of my own and applying it to similar situations (e.g. the demonization of low empathy hurts autistic people. I know why, as an autistic. Similarly, it hurts pwPDs).

With that out of the way, let's continue.

WHUMP

I'm just gonna say it. I fucking hate the wider whump community on writblr. I follow a few whump accounts and I like them, but most of the whump community is a toxic, saneist, ableist hellscape.

I have seen whump prompt blogs call characters who don't speak "perfectly broken". What do they think of nonverbal autistics?

I have seen them treat PTSD like a wonderful thing to inflict on their characters. What about the people with c-PTSD and PTSD who are reading that?

I have seen them describe sexual assault and the trauma disorders it can cause in one of their "fun whump prompts" lists--completely untagged with any sort of warning that, you know, REAL PEOPLE with REAL TRAUMA might have backlisted to avoid it.

I have seen something that was literally just the description of an autistic meltdown, minus any reference to the word autism, and say "this is so satisfying to write". (From an allistic person.)

I have seen whump blogs use physical disability as a perfect method of torture, treating blindness, deafness, amputated limbs, & chronic pain as the perfect curse to inflict on their characters--I don't know who has to fucking hear this, but physically disabled people are not some pitiable animals. They're people, and they're on tumblr, and they can read what you're saying about their disablities.

Additionally, the way people describe their whumpers sometimes... delusional, psycho, psychotic, sociopathic, narcissistic, "void of empathy", etc etc etc. DID YOU KNOW THOSE ARE REAL THINGS THAT REAL PEOPLE ARE. There are people with ASPD, psychosis, low empathy, and NPD on tumblr. They don't deserve to see that shit.

& like. @ whump blogs. Do you post your stories in the touch-averse tag? If so... stop. Us touch averse folk don't need our tag invaded by horrific stories and prompts about touch aversion being ignored and abused. Find another tag.

All in all, the whump community has a giant problem of treating mental illness, trauma, and disabilities like either 1) nothing but imaginary scenarios to put whumpees through, or 2) perfect traits for their evil, abusive whumper.

THE REST OF WRITBLR

I wanted to highlight a couple of my issues with whumpblr specifically, but the rest of writblr is by no means exempt from this bullshit.

First of all, the "describing your antagonist as unempathetic/psychotic/sociopathic/a narcissist/crazy" thing is Not something that non-whump writblrs are immune to. I'll put it simply: I am hypoempathetic. I do not experience empathy. If you equate hypoempathy to being a fucking serial killer or some shit, I am blocking you. Same with the things I don't have.

Next: trauma and depression.

I won't pretend that every joke about traumatizing your OCs is evil. Neither is joking about giving them depression (less common but still there). But the overarching trend of treating trauma & depression itself like a joke, about treating trauma and depressive disorders like fun little things that come with the plot and not like actual things people live with, is harmful.

I have struggled with depression. I am an autistic teen. 60% of autistic adults have PTSD just from growing up autistic, because it's often such a traumatizing experience. I do not feel safe in a community that treats depression & trauma like a joke.

now: "character flaws"

literally please stop calling obvious ND traits "character flaws". It is not that hard. "paranoid" "blunt" "odd" "unempathetic" "crazy" (what the fuck does that even mean to you) "hyperactive" "bad memory" straight up "hallucinates" and "depressed".... shut up, shut up, i hate you, shut up.

No, I'm not saying these things are all perfect and harmless and fun traits that never impact anyone. But flaws are traits that you're supposed to dislike about a character. A character having a paranoid anxiety disorder should not make you dislike them. A character being "odd" via displaying autistic traits should not make you dislike them. Flaws are things like being cheap, cruel, ignoring the needs of others, being a liar, being bigoted, etc. And... yeah! Some things you can list as flaws are also ND traits! Bc not all ND traits are that great! But like... lots are not flaws, they're just unusual to society. Something like "isn't NT" is not a character flaw. It's just not. Being neurodivergent is not something a character should have to make up for.

(bonus points (/s) to lists that give things like "always tired" and "difficulty moving quickly" as character flaws! You've managed to hurt physically disabled and/or chronically ill people, too <3)

coding villains as/making them canonically disabled, and/or just straight up ignoring the existence of disability

the writblr community is really diverse with their characters, and that's nice. But disability is... often hard to find? in abled people's work? Either they'll have the token ADHDer, one vaguely pitiable dude in a wheelchair, or the horrifically stereotyped autistic, or they'll code their villain as some sort of neurodivergent/chronically ill.

No one has to make disabled characters. Your story is your story. But it feels shitty to be left out of everything unless fellow disabled people made it.

Example for the coding thing: if your villain has difficulty connecting to people, is blunt, doesn't lie very well, is monotone, has "unsettling" or blank facial expressions, is awkward in the way they act, dislikes people, has very rigid thought patterns, is extremely stubborn, follows their personal set of rules to a T, is a loner, is very very intent on their goal/main interest, and seems to have trouble socializing "typically", or hits a lot of those things, congrats! they're autistic. That is a person I would 100%, without a doubt, think "oh, that's me" about. (That's just one neurodiversity; I see a LOT of villains coded as having antisocial personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder in particular.)

There's also, like. if your villain uses a mobility aid, has scars, is canonically ND, etc and is the only one out of your cast who is, that's ableism. You should feel bad. Full stop. It's not hard to keep yourself from connecting disability & mental illness to villainy.

Also, side note. People's autistic characters often tire me. Because they'll have one profile of a character they say isn't ND and they're like "she's an artist who's OBSESSED with her craft, she's pretty socially awkward, she calms down in dark lonely spaces, she has difficulty communicating, she doesn't really understand social norms" and then their autistic character will be Sheldon Cooper 2.0.

using outdated/wrong terminology

maybe i'm just in the wrong circles but like. "asperger's" "multiple personality disorder" "person with autism" "psychopathic" literally what. stop that. no. (In order: autism, DID, autistic, antisocial personality disorder.)

fetishizing, romanticizing, stereotyping, and generally misrepresenting

your anxious character isn't an uwu sad small bean (like, literally stop, anxiety is hell). depression doesn't make good art. the autistic character does not have to be a super genius. your character in a wheelchair isn't a tragedy. blind people aren't super-wise sages. Etc, etc, etc.

in conclusion (not actually concluding)

i'm not done, i'm just feeling my weak grip on words slowly starting to slip away. Wordn't is coming upon me, too. hashtag quirky autism things!

Anyway, if other disabled people want to add on--ESPECIALLY those with personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and physical disabilities--i'm saying please do. I want to hear other people's experiences.

I love writblr, but it's very, very common for me as an autistic mentally ill person to feel uncomfortable with the way characters are treated & handled.

Just... listen to us? please?

that's all for now, i guess.

[starryevermore]

omg hi ! obsessed with the biker Ari series 😍 this is my first time requesting but could you maybe do one where Ari gets protective of Liam for the first time ? t

family dynamics

let’s ride ✧ a biker!ari levinson series | ao3

pairing: biker!ari levinson x single mom!reader

word count: 1,242

warnings: liam's feeling insecure about his dad not wanting him, discussion of kids being mean about having a nontraditional family, pet name (sweetpea)

note: okay, so this takes place before ari and sweetpea get together! if I had to place it, it would be between chapters 7 and 8, if things go according to plan. (if it doesn't, expect an edit to this whenever I get around to posting those chapters in the far, far future lmao).

"Is everything okay, sweetpea?"

When he walked into your home, he had been expecting a warm greeting or, more likely, a snarky remark about how he was acting like he lived there with you. But, instead, he found you sitting on the couch, legs tucked under you as you chewed on your lip, looking more on edge than he'd ever seen you before. He was knelt in front of you in an instant, taking your hands in his, peering up at you, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"I-I don't think so," you said.

"Who do I need to kill?" he asked. "Just gimme the word, sweetpea, and I'll do anything to make it better. I promise."

"No, it's not...It's not me. It's Liam."

Ari paused. Liam...wasn't okay? Who fucking dared to mess with that sweet kid? No kid deserved that, but especially not Liam. Anger began to form in the pit of his stomach, and he was ready to do whatever it took to make Liam happy again.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, he won't tell me. He just...I don't know. He gets in weird moods sometimes, and he doesn't want to talk about what he's going through. And I don't want to make him feel like he has to tell me, but I don't know how to just...let him know that it's okay, you know?"

"I don't wanna overstep any boundaries, but would it help if I go talk to him?"

You looked at him, your eyes brimming with tears. "Would you, please?"

He nodded, pushing himself back up to his feet. "I'll be back in a few minutes, yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Ain't no problem, sweetpea."

He journeyed up to Liam's room, stopping at the doorway. He knocked against the doorframe, watching as Liam, who laid on his bed, pushed himself up to look at Ari.

"Can I come in?" Ari asked.

Liam shrugged. "I guess."

He was a far cry from the bubbly kid Ari knew. He wondered what it was that was weighing so heavily on the kid, why he felt like he couldn't say anything to his mom.

"Can I sit?" Ari asked, motioning to an empty spot on the edge of the bed.

"I guess."

Once he was sitting, Ari looked over at Liam, who'd pushed himself up to sit and stare at Ari. Then, he said, "Your mama says something's eating at you. Wanna talk about it?"

"What good would it do? Won't change anything."

"But it might make you feel better. It ain't good to hold in big emotions, ya know. We got all these languages 'cause we're supposed to communicate with each other. People act like we're supposed to hold it all in, but that's just against our nature, you know?"

Liam nodded slowly. "It's just...It's stupid."

"Kid, listen to me, nothing you feel is stupid. Maybe you don't know how to process it or something like that, but that doesn't make the feeling stupid. It just means you gotta have some help."

"Do you get help?"

"I do. You know Bucky, Cass's soon to be stepdad?"

"Yeah."

"I talk to him a lot. Cass's Uncle Sam, too. They're real good friends, and they just listen to me talk about things that bother me, and they try to help me understand why it bothers me and what to do about it. And they listen to me talk about what makes me happy, 'cause you should also talk about the good things, too."

"And...And I can talk to you?"

"Of course you can," Ari said. "And you can talk to your mama, too. We're both here for you."

"I just...It hurts my feelings when I think about my dad."

Ari's heart ached when he heard that. You hadn't told him much about your relationship with Liam's dad, but he knew enough to know that it was a messy breakup. He almost felt stupid to not think about how Liam felt about it.

"Yeah? What hurts your feelings?"

"Mom won't...She doesn't talk about him. But the kids at school...They said that when your dad's not in the picture, it means he doesn't love you. Does my dad not love me?"

"I...I'm gonna be honest, I don't know. Your mama knows what happened a lot better than me, and she can answer any question you have about him. But I can tell you, even if he doesn't, you don't need his love."

"I don't?"

"No, you don't. Just because someone's related to you by blood, that doesn't mean they're family. Sometimes they're not good for you, and you don't need people who aren't good for you in your life." Ari paused. "But you got plenty of people in your life who are good, and who do love you."

"I do?"

"Yeah. You got your mama. You got me. I'm sure Cass loves you, and Grace. And Sarah, and Bucky, and Sam, and Jefferson. There's plenty of people who care about you, kiddo. And they all wanna see you be the happiest version of yourself."

Liam nodded, chewing on his lip, before saying, "I know I never met him, but sometimes I miss my dad."

"That's normal. You know, you see people who have two parents, and you wonder what life could be like if you had both of your parents in your life. You think about what could've been, but that doesn't do anything to change what is. Sure, you don't have a dad in your life, but you got so much more than that. The whole traditional family thing that some people push is nonsense. You don't need both a mom or a dad to have a happily family. Family's come in all shapes and sizes." He paused. "And, you shouldn't listen to what those kids say anyways. Sometimes, it's not a matter of choice if you don't got a dad, or a mom, in your life. Those kids are just being mean, and you don't have to listen to people when they're being mean. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah I do." Liam paused, before throwing his arms around Ari. "Thank you."

"It ain't no problem, kiddo," he said. "But, you should tell your mama, you know."

Liam pulled away a bit. "I just don't want her to worry."

"She's gonna worry whether ya tell her not, kiddo," Ari said, patting Liam's back. "It's what mama's do. All they want is for their kid to grow up happy and healthy, but they're always worried that something's gone wrong or something will go wrong."

"But she already has so many adult things to worry about. I don't wanna give her more stuff."

"Trust me, kiddo, she'd much rather be spending her time worrying about you than worrying about adult stuff. She had ya cause she wanted ya, and she wants to know if something's bothering you so that she can help you through it. But she can't help if you bottle it all up inside."

"Oh. Should I go talk to her right now?"

"If that's what you're comfortable with, yeah," Ari said. "If you're not comfortable yet, you can go tell her that you will when you're ready. She'll understand."

"Will you go with me?"

"Of course. You got a whole support system, and we're all here to help you when you need it. All you gotta do is ask."

"Okay, let's go."

[cornyonmains]

hello!

firstly, i will like to thank you for writing all your metas and thoughts regarding kinnporsche, they are amazing.

however, i wanted to ask you. what's the current issue with daemi and the KP series/actors/team? i have read two-three articles about it but it's very confusing. if you can, please explain it?

thank you!

Hey,

This is my first ask, so thanks for sending it. lol

Anyways, I want to preface all this by stating I work on the backend of a lot of major discussion forums, and what I think is happening in general is that BOC just scared the shit out of a lot of studios, and that those studios are digging up a lot of old scandals now that KP has gotten international attention, and they're trying to hurt BOC. These videos are all related to scandals that resulted with BOC cutting employment Thais with Daemi months back.

Now, the videos I found had dialogue that had been translated from Thai to Spanish and I'm translating that dialogue to English, so please, please keep that in mind when I relate what I saw. I use Spanish markets a lot for Asian media, since they have a more nimble translating market than the US, but things get lost in translation. Thai has few or no verb tenses, Spanish has 77,000, transitive verbs don't often have a direct translation in English, and you preserve the idea instead. It's a whole thing.

So, a few videos dropped. In one, which I think the fandom has seen before, Mile states quite openly that DAEMI are creepers that won't stop molesting him. He's very smiley and laughing as he says it, so it comes off in a joking manner, which you hear DAEMI laughing about in the background of the interview, but Mile goes out of his way to reiterate that he's serious. It's also worth noting that the concept of 'face' is very important in Asian cultures. Mile was trying to save them face but making it clear they needed to read between the lines. He was being classy about it. Little wonder those hoes didn't notice.

There's another video that stood out to me where neither author was doing anything wrong, but when Yok sat down beside Barcode in this video, he was stiff and uncomfortable enough that you see Jeff come back into frame and demand his seat back. This is pretty telling for me. Jeff and Mile are a bit better protected from the dark side of the Thai BL industry due to their money, Jeff's status as an openly queer actor (I think? unless I'm misinterpreting stuff I've seen around the fandom), and their connections. I think it says a lot about the sharp eyes they keep when those two are around.

There's another video where the female author (can't remember her name) is trying to get Bible to call her Mommy. And like, I don't know if this woman has a problem with social cues, or if she's just too much of a predatory weirdo to care, but that man was not the least bit amused by the exchange. He tells her no. She asks why he won't. And he was very patiently explains that he only has one mother, and it's not her. He tries to get up and move away, she stops him.

In another video Apo does a bit of fan-service for the camera by opening his shirt and closing it quickly. The female author gets up, and very aggressively crowds him into the wall, trying to strip Apo, while he yells something like , "No! No! Quit doing this! Get back the old (her name)."

In another video, it shows DAEMI standing outside the pool waiting for Mile after he wrapped the pool scene with Apo. They didn't do anything wrong, but people didn't miss that the first thing this man did when he saw those two was cover his tiddies with his robe sleeve. Lmao

In another video, and this is the one that creeped me out, especially as a geriatric Millennial. The authors were doing a live with Jeff and Barcode, when they declared they taught Barcode, who was SIXTEEN at the time, to be a good actor by making them give him massages. There is no normal adult who is talking that kind of mess to a 16 year old child. It's just not happening. Anyone will tell you, once you hit a certain age, anyone below 25 just becomes baby. Your metric for what an adult is changes. I know it's infantilizing BS, but it's just the truth. Normal adults just don't interact that way with teenagers. Like, if I had Barcode in a room with me, I'd ask him if there was an adult he could call, and then probably feed him or something. I'd have like, parent instincts. I don't think DAEMI would, and that's more than a little concerning.

Anyways, that's all I know about the situation. But as I said, Twitter is its own ecosystem, and its trying to capitalize on a problem that has already been resolved. What we mostly have here is jealous BL studios capitalizing on disingenuous clout sharks and bot farms to try to knock BOC off the iron throne without having to present any real competition. I'm not paying it much mind. I was a baby gay who grew up during the AIDS crisis. My pragmatism is very real. I can deal with a few scandals if it means the BL industry has to up its game to compete.

[jetlaggingbehind]

Whooo I really am writing that bulleted list about mistholme s4e11 bc owie! under the cut:

Throughout this I'm going to continue to call guide guide even if that's not technically its name, mostly cause it proved too confusing for me to keep track of after a while, ill probably get used to it eventually tho

Starting off easy with the interdepartmental turmoil lol

Retrieval bro why u gotta be so rude

'does the guide get a vote' I MEAN YOU'D THINK SO AFTER ALL THIS TIME LMAO

The wish engine is just so wild man though I do think what you wish for and what you get will be very different, especially when you consider what it did when asked to not exist

Research's resentment is palpable D:

Side note I like her va's voice it is very nice :)

what I wouldn't give for a qna episode during a season break with all the vas

The museum is really struggling to keep itself together after everything nowadays, u gotta wonder what it's like for the patrons lol

Tbh this was such a plot heavy episode but it didn't feel full of exposition, which is great

Lmao ma'am did you forget abt the recording you requested??

Idk if we already knew that restoration is called diana, but either way neat!

Damn it retrieval you've jinxed it

Here we start the emotional damage :'(

Beast kinda forgot abt its curator story and I didn't notice until I relistened 😫

IT'S SO SUS HERE HELP

The guide puts so much trust in beast and it hurts me so much that it's misplaced get guide some more non abusive friends 2022

the voice actingggggg u can hear guides fear it's so aghhhhh

'Won't be happening anytime soon' AAAAAA???????

He broke out the villain speech O_o

OH DANG

OH DANG

IT'S NAME IS MISTHOLME

IT'S THE WHOLE MUSEUM

HELP

AGHFJDDJKGKVKDKDKJSEFCH

HOW DARE YOU APOLOGISE U ASS

'you just see a beast' IT SAID YOU WERE ITS FRIEND HOW COULD YOU

THE FACT THAT GUIDES DEHUMANISATION OF ITSELF WAS THE CRUX OF THE PROBLEM BECAUSE IT DIDINT THINK IT HAD A NAME OR MEANINGFUL IDENTITY HURTS SO MUCH

IT MADE AN IDENTITY FOR ITSELF WITHOUT KNOWING AND HAD IT RIPPED AWAY BY BEAST PAINNNNN

IT'S TAKEN CONTROL OF GUIDE AAAAAAAGH

IT'S 'FRIEND' IS THE MAN WITH THE VOICE?????????

(though I have to say that switching TMWTV's gender was a genius move in making me be completely blindsided by this reveal bc I hadn't even considered him a possibility..... dang it's just so smart)

also im so angy that we started off w an antagonistic character, thought it had some good in it, then it turns out it actually was antagonistic... emotional turmoil :’(

Stares at the beast backstory episode that is now also a TMWTV backstory episode

*flashbacks to hello jon apologies for the deception*

(was it a reference? It would make me laugh through the pain it it actually was)

It's completely loyal to TMWTV..... it knows what it's doing is wrong and is still doing it???

me, sobbing: beast you absolute bitch we all trusted you we thought you were cool

OOH I DON'T LIKE HOW BEAST HAS CONTROL OF GUIDE AND TECHNICALLY BY EXTENSION THE ENTIRE MUSEUM

IT KILLED EAGLE OH LAWD

IT'S GONNA KILL THE REST OF THE TEAM TOO AAAAAAA

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?? THAT BEAST GAVE GUIDE PERMISSION TO SPEAK AND IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING??????

(probably it was in shock understandable tbh)

WE THOUGH THIS WHOLE BUNCH OF PPL WERE GONNA BE PART OF THE FUTURE ENSEMBLE CAST HOW DARE IT

End notes:

obviously this bodes terribly for the museum– beast literally having guide under its complete control is absolutely horrible, which gets worse when you consider how much information guide holds since it straight up knows restorations and eagles names for starters. adding in how its only just become considered anything close to a colleague/friend to the triple r departments, this whole situation is gonna give it even more trust issues

both plots were built on heavily, on one hand narrative wise this was a phenomenal episode, on the other hand me very sad D':

also this season is spelling 'IRRESOLUTIO', presumably irresolution. foreboding 😬