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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year ago

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reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

#bookblr #reading updates

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mcalhenwrites · 4 months ago

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I was lamenting to a friend about how little I had read this year (compared to how much I wanted to). They mentioned that I was doing my best while juggling two jobs - which led to me adding that I work more than that. On top of self-publishing and my receptionist job, I do take art commissions and I sell amigurumi at events (hate that for me). I'm also going to be working at the dog treat bakery when it shows more profit. (Not a matter of "if" but "when" here, and that's likely within the next couple of months.) Then I pointed out that... I have read 90 books this year so far. It is actually 91, and almost half of them are manga/comics while the other half are novels.

A ton of the books I have read come from libraries, which still is good for authors! And it is very good for the libraries to show traffic. :) I have purchased some or been gifted books this year. I decided to take a photo of the ones I know I've gotten this year, though I can't tell you if they're all here. I remember buying two of these as a reward for publishing Geckos. Hahaha. I'm saving for a car, but sometimes it's nice to reward myself with a book every paycheck, if I feel like I can get away with it.

Oh, and I bought Reverie on kindle for $2 bc it was on sale and I had just started my new job, so I thought it would be an acceptable treat at that price. (Ryan La Sala posted about the sale and I was like, "Oh, I liked The Honeys! I should read that!") I'm really sad that I can't do more. When I was whining, I was partially upset bc I had hoped to catch up with reading online as well. I haven't been that great at keeping up with AO3. I have browser bookmarks of things I want to read just stacked up. There are some authors on tumblr I want to catch up with. I can tell you right now that I love Lily Mayne's stuff and wish I could buy the entire Monstrous series in one go instead of every few months or so with no idea when I'll get the next. I'd love to have more manga, esp if it stops getting published! (Too burned by the past on that one, now I fret about how many I probably will never own and aren't at libraries to read.) So yeah, anyway. I do want to be better! But I did move twice (states and then apartments) and acquire a job and do a ton of other things, I'm trying really hard to stay afloat financially. BTW... NOT buying a book every paycheck might save money in the long run, but is still isn't enough to buy a fucking car or a house, and I'd like to better tolerate my life in the 3000 years it would take for me to save for either one of those. And right now, I'm shifting more toward reading library books and avoiding any purchases of books to save a little. I haven't bought a book in... the last month or so? I'll be so happy when I'm finally secure enough to not just buy books from all the authors I love but afford to always preorder (this is very good for authors!) and gift friends books!!! And commission artists for all sorts of things! And buy prints! I'm gonna give all the love I can! (And in the meantime... if anyone wants to buy my books... hahaha... It would go for a car right now, not books, but hey, maybe if I sold 1000 copies of Geckos, I could also splurge on a nice box of books and hold a giveaway.)

#mcalhen personal

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blackswaneuroparedux · 2 years ago

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Treat Your S(h)elf: Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield (1998)

At Thermopylae, a rocky mountain pass in northern Greece, the feared and admired Spartan soldiers stood three hundred strong. Theirs was a suicide mission, to hold the pass against the invading millions of the mighty Persian army.

Day after bloody day they withstood the terrible onslaught, buying time for the Greeks to rally their forces. Born into a cult of spiritual courage, physical endurance, and unmatched battle skill, the Spartans would be remembered for the greatest military stand in history–one that would not end until the rocks were awash with blood, leaving only one gravely injured Spartan squire to tell the tale….

- Steven Pressfield, Gates of Fire (1998)

This is one of my favourite books on war I’ve ever read. I took my dog-eared copy with me last year when I went with ex-military veterans friends to climb Olympus and hike around Greece. One of the places we stopped was Thermopylae - where you can still bathe in the hot springs as the ancient Spartans and Athenians did before their monumental battle with the Persians. The very recent death of the last king of Greece, King Constantine II of the Hellenes, made me think of my trip to Greece last year and of one of the books I read on that trip. I thought I might share some of my rambling thoughts I had written down at the time, and also since then, about the retelling of one historical turning point in our western civilisation that has now entered into myth.

In 1998 was the year Frank Miller’s iconic comic graphic novel 300 about the the Battle of Thermopylae – where a tiny Greek force led by 300 Spartans held out for three days against an immense Persian invasion in 480BC - was published to great critical acclaim. Zack Snyder highly stylised slick film version of Miller’s 300 defied audience and studio expectations when it stormed the box office with Spartan-like ferocity back in 2007. Its mix of ancient history, comic-book iconography and sound-bite dialogue immediately found its way into the verbal and visual lexicon of contemporary pop culture; but things could have been very different. In 1998 Miller’s publication overshadowed the publication of Steven Pressfield’s more conventional historical novel, Gates of Fire, took its name from the eponymous battlefield, Thermopylae (referred to in 300 as ‘the hot gates’).

Pressfield, an ex-Marine soldier, had worked as a screenwriter creating disposable action-movie scripts for the likes of Steven Seagal and Dolph Lundgren in the late 1980s and early 1990s before writing his first novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, which was adapted into the Will Smith film of the same name. It too won critical acclaim and was a huge best seller. George Clooney’s film production company bought the rights and David Self (screenwriter of 13 Days and Road to Perdition) was brought in to adapt it. Bruce Willis was dying to be in it and iconic director Michael Mann signed on the direct it. Instead the film went into development hell before Snyder’s film stole a march on Mann’s version to come out first in 2007.

As a Classicist and ex-veteran I found Both Miller’s comic graphic novel and Snyder’s film a severe guilty pleasure. But I have to say I found reading Steven Pressfield’s brilliant novel deeply satisfying on many more levels.

The book I remember well as an American special forces chap I knew out in Afghanistan gave it to me to read because I was complaining I was fast running out of things to read between missions. I loved it.

Like a good officer I passed the book along to others in my corps - rank and file - and within a month or two it had been passed around a fair bit. It led to endless arguments about the Greeks and the Western way of war in and out of the cockpit with my brother/sister aviators and crew as well other officers and the men.

For the soldiers on the ground the book felt more visceral. As a fellow brother British infantry officer said the depictions of phalanx warfare raised his blood pressure at how well he and his men could relate. I never felt more Spartan than I did I sitting on my arse baking in the sun of Afghan red dust mornings. We all related to this story one way or another - the sand, sweat, blood, feelings of combat, and thoughts of mortality.

Most book reviewers loved the book. “Does for (Thermopylae) what Charles Frazier did for the Civil War in Cold Mountain’, enthused author Pat Conroy. The New York Times praised the book’s ‘feel of authenticity from beginning to end.’ Author Nelson DeMille admired the ‘mastery, authority and psychological insight.’ Sarah Broadhurst, in The Bookseller, particularly wanted to recommend the book to women: “ Although it has a male feel to it, it will appeal to both sexes, as my two readers and I can testify. In fact, it is a great example of the rebirth of the historical novel, which I am sure is on its way.” Where people quibbled, it was usually about the violence of some of the descriptions, or on small errors of fact. The Times called it ‘a story of blood, biffing and bonking, thigh deep in blood, terror-piss and entrails’ but acknowledged that ‘their heroism still makes the hairs at the back of the neck bristle’. The Times Literary Supplement sniped at Pressfield for confusing two different Greek cities called Argos, and for what it called ‘phallocentric discourse’, but also called the book ‘a monument to the important twentieth-century art of pace.’

The novel stands out in the way it makes everything come alive from the soldiers' training, the scenes of actual battle, and most particularly the scenes after or between battles. The discussions of fear, and of how officers and soldiers should behave are particularly poignant and also felt very real to those of us who have experienced war first hand. What I found pleasantly surprising was how well written it was with its very strong portrayals of women as secondary characters. With nearly all military books women are often relegated to the background but here I found some of the strongest depictions of women in this genre. The women don't fight in the battles, yet are courageous and compassionate, intelligent and influential.

Many readers will be familiar with the broad strokes of the story of the battle. But it’s worth recapping here for those that don’t. In 480 BC, King Xerxes lead a Persian army of between one and two million into Greece. The Spartan King Leonidas lead 300 Knights and some 700 Thespaian allies to the narrow pass at Thermopylae, in order to hold the Persians back as long as possible. They proceeded to hold the pass for 7 days. These 300 Spartans died to a man defending the pass against a force of over a million and the epitaph provided to them by the poet Simonides, "Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by, that here obedient to their laws we lie", is perhaps the most famous in history. Their example rallied and inspired all of Greece and eventually the Persians were defeated in the naval battle at Salamis and on land at Plataea.

The story is told from the point of view of its narrator Xeones of Astakos, a helot, a slave of the Spartans, and has his own conflicted feelings about Spartan society. He is taken, wounded, before Xerxes, and asked to explain “who were these foemen, who had taken with them to the house of the dead ten or, as some reports said, as many as twenty for every one of their own fallen?” In Xeones’ own words, therefore, we get the story of his life; from when his own city is destroyed, to when he comes to Sparta as a slave, to the time when he finally comes to stand beside the Spartiate in the fateful battle. As the sole survivor among the Spartans, Xerxes wishes Xeones to tell his story to the Persian court historian Gobartes. Xeones starts with the tale of how he came to Sparta. As a youth, his village of Astakos is destroyed and his family slaughtered, but he and the cousin he loves, Diomache, escape. As they wander the countryside, Diomache is raped by soldiers and Xeones is crucified after stealing a chicken, although Diomache saves him from death. Thrown into despair, because his hands are so damaged that he can never wield a sword, Xeones heads off by himself to die. But he experiences a visitation from the Archer god Apollo Far Striker and realizes he can still wield a bow. When Diomache, who is also distraught after being violated by the soldiers, takes off, Xeones heads to Sparta where he hopes to join the army.

The middle section of the book, which is at a much slower pace, deals with his life in Sparta and the training techniques used by the Spartans to create what was one of the most formidable fighting forces the world has ever seen. Eventually he becomes the squire of one of the 300 knights who are chosen for Thermopylae.

The final section, on the battle itself, depicts wholesale slaughter accompanied by acts of ineffable courage. It also relates two of the great lines of all time. When Xerxes offers to spare the Spartans lives if they will surrender their arms, Leonidas is reputed to have snarled, "come and get them." And upon being told that the Persians have so many bowmen that the cloud of arrows would blot out the sun, one of the Spartans says, "good, then we'll have our battle in the shade."

Pressfield being an ex-Marine grunt himself gives a very convincing grunt’s-eye-view of the battle and of Spartan society to create a fantastically blood pumping engaging tale. Pressfield sets himself the task of explaining Spartan culture to us in all its glory, humour, brutality and philosophy. To do so, he draws on his personal experience as a US infantryman, as well being strongly versed in Classics. The result is a fascinating tale, on one level a war story written with great pace and excitement, on another a ruminative tale of man’s capacity for honour, heroism, and self-sacrifice.

As a Classicist (since confirmed by Pressfield in many interviews) he makes excellent use of the ancient historical sources (such as they are). The most useful sources seem to be Herodotus first, his pages about the battle. Plutarch’s Lives of various Spartans — Lycurgus, Agesilaus, Lysander, etc - can be discerned strongly as the section of his Moralia called Sayings of the Spartans and Sayings of the Spartan Women. Xenophon of course was the best contemporaneous eyewitness to real Spartan society. Constitution of the Lacedaemonians, the Cyropaedia and even the Anabasis greatly help Pressfield pepper history with authentic detail. Diodorus’ version of the battle added the thought of the night raid (which The 300 Spartans also had) and Pressfield takes that from him. Pressfield has said that he didn’t consult recent archaeology, other than going to Sparta myself and checking out the ruins of Artemis, Orthia and so forth.

But still huge gaps remained. This is where Pressfield the ex-Marine and the well educated novelist come together. There was much detail that he needed to consciously to make up and make it sound plausible and even true. For instance, the concept of phobologia, the Science of Fear. That’s completely invented, yet Pressfield, as a Marine veteran, absolutely felt certain the Spartans, like every other warrior race, must have had something like that, a religious-philosophical doctrine of warfare understanding the principles of their culture, probably a sort of cult-like initiatory situation.

Pressfield in one interview admitted that the speech that Alexandros recites holding his shield — “This is my shield, I bear it before me into battle, etc.” — was a fictional invention based upon his own experience in the US Marine Corps, where Marines recite, “This is my rifle. There are many other like it, but this one is mine, etc.” Another huge fictional detail that he made central to the story was the prominence of the squire in hoplite battle. Again he based this on pure instinct and common sense. He thought the relationship must be much like that of a professional golfer to his caddie. Pressfield firms believes that the bonds formed between man and batman in the course of bloody warfare must have been intimate on a level second only to husband and wife, and maybe more intimate. The ancient sources make nothing of this, because they just passed it over as obvious, but I fully agree with Pressman. It’s an inspired insight. The fact that squires and armour bearers voluntarily stayed to die at Thermopylae says volumes. (Also a squire was the perfect fly-on-the-wall narrator, like Midshipman Byam in Mutiny on the Bounty.) Further I could not imagine that squires would stand idly by, watching their men fight. They must have served as auxiliaries, not only dashing in and out of the field evacuating the wounded, but getting in their blows as light infantrymen whenever they could. I suspect that, as prominent as Pressfield made their roles in Gates, if we could beam ourselves back and witness actual ancient battle, the part of the squire/auxiliary was even bigger than one might imagine.

The book then is not merely about the immortal stand at Thermopylae but delves into the Spartan lifestyle, how they achieved such military cohesion, how they viewed themselves and the world, what made them willing to march off to a suicide mission — it’s one thing to find oneself in such a situation, it’s quite another to jockey to be chosen for it, to know days ahead of time that this is it, you’re heading to your death and to do it unflinchingly. It’s about what binds men together in a group — what makes them willing to die for others. I think Dienekes’ thoughtful analysis of fear and how the opposite of fear isn’t bravery but love, tells it all. Love of a messmate, a family, a city.

Indeed as Pressfield shows the spartans would carry their shields on the left side of their body which allowed them to cover the blind spot of the warrior fighting next to them. Commanders would arrange it so that family members and friends were placed next to each other within the formation. The belief was that warriors would be less likely to abandon their comrades if they were fighting next to someone they deeply cared about. Love conquers fear.

Now the story isn’t perfect, there are some pacing issues when the plot seems to go extra slow, and there are time jumps that can feel a bit awkward. Some periods of our main protagonist’s life, that would be interesting, are just skipped.

In my opinion, the book balances fiction and facts quite nicely, not making the Spartans some over the top super heroes, like the movie “300” did.

The thing that I liked the most is the whole theme of the book: honour, the duty to your city and people, and the strength of the mind. The Spartans didn’t see war as a fun way of killing people, it was an inevitable fact of life. They didn’t kill fear, they learned to embrace it, keep it locked until the very last moment.

Now it’s a bit harder to judge characters in a book like this because some of them are based on real people and some of them are fictional. But what I will say is that these people feel real, grounded to the situation they are in.

I was very taken by the portrayal of Leonidas, the Spartan king who commanded at Thermopylae. One of the most stirring speeches in the book is addressed to Xerxes, the King of Persia, and contrasts Xerxes with Leonidas: "I will tell His Majesty what a king is. A king does not abide within his tent while his men bleed and die upon the field. A king does not dine while his men go hungry, nor sleep when they stand at watch upon the wall. A king does not command his men's loyalty through fear nor purchase it with gold; he earns their love by the sweat of his back and the pains he endures for their sake….”

I also appreciated the inclusion of the women of Sparta — no shirkers themselves. They would be the first ones out shaming the men into doing their duty for their city (and that’s what it was all about for these people — the survival of the city first) if that was what was needed. I have to say I shed a tear when Leonidas confessed his criteria for selection of the 300. So much is said about Spartan men but the women kicked ass in a time and place where women were almost never seen and certainly never heard from. The first female Olympic champion was a Spartan princess called Kynisca, in 392 BC. She was also the first woman to become a champion horse trainer when her horses and chariot competed and won in the Ancient Olympic Games. Twice.

Arete is in some ways the most powerful character in the book. She is very well written. She just popped forth, full-grown from the brow of Zeus. I liked her a lot. Whether or not Sparta was a “good” place for women I can’t say. Certainly it would be fascinating as hell to beam back there and see, for real, how they lived and what they were like. It seems likely Pressfield drew inspiration of Arete from Plutarch’s Sayings of the Spartan Women. These, if you’ve ever read them, are unbelievably hard-core. For example, here’s one: A messenger returns from a battle to inform a Spartan mother (Plutarch gives her name but I’ve forgotten it) that all five of her sons have just perished honourably fighting the enemy. She asks this only: “Were we victorious?” The courier replies yes. “Then I am happy,” says the mother and turns for home. Here’s another: A messenger returns from another battle to tell another mother that one of her sons has been killed, facing the enemy. “He is my son,” she says. Her other son, the messenger continues, is still alive but ran from the enemy. “He is not my son,” she replies. Pressfield doesn’t see Arete quite that hard-core but certainly someone tough as nails who imbibed the Spartan mythos even more than the men and lived it. Pressfield admits in one of his interviews that this was all instinct, he could be wrong, but itt just was what felt right to him.

Before I had gone through Sandhurst after university I didn’t really condone crude language or lewd humour but it’s one of the ways that my stint in the army and especially out on a battlefield deployment changed me a little. I confess that I loved the sometimes crude humour - they’re soldiers in a time of war and you do or say whatever will get you through. Battle (especially foxhole) humour has a dark gallows feel and it’s entirely acceptable and authentic - just ask any veteran of any war. The battle descriptions are graphic - very graphic but not much worse than what’s in the Iliad. And we are talking about a battle in which thousands died by sword, spear, arrow and other various messy methods.

I also enjoyed how the book has a pleasing prose aesthetic that imitates the style of Homer. For the non-Classicist it may take a little bit of getting used to and slow down their reading but it sounds melodious to the ear.

Overall Pressman gives us a pulsating story in which the characters are not either super evil villains that cartoonishly want to “take over the world” or superheroes that can’t make mistakes. The author doesn’t take a side in this story, war is war, and people are people. They make mistakes, get angry or jealous, they do bad things in the name of good and vice versa. The book is not about good and evil, it’s about how different people and cultures understand the order, stability, good and even our minds and dreams. The enemies here aren’t some sort of Oriental magic freaks from far away lands, they are just men made in flesh and blood. Sure wanting to control more land or have more people serving them, but that’s everyone I know in the history of rise and fall of civilisations.

Was the Spartan defence of the Hot Gates worth it?

Clearly, yes. Cultures, if not civilisations, are nearly always rubbing up against each other and even clashing where they can’t bridge differences. I think Pressfield has it right when he said, “What the defence meant to me was this: its significance was metaphorical rather than literal. We are all in a battle that will end with our deaths and, like the Spartans at Thermopylae, we know it. The question is how do we deal with it. They answered by being true to their calling, to their brothers and sisters, and to their ideals. Early in the book there’s a passage where the Persian historian is narrating; he’s speaking of King Xerxes and his interest in the fallen Spartans. Xerxes says of them: “He knew they feared death, as all men. By what philosophy did their minds embrace it?”

In two of my favourite passages, Pressfield has his protagonist explain why sacrifice is so beautiful to the Greeks (or to anyone who has honour), "In one way only have the gods permitted mortals to surpass them. Man may give that which the gods cannot, all he possesses, his life”. This is a very profoundly moving insight.

Pressfield goes further and tries to answer a much deeper question as to why men fight and perhaps this is where it’s the ex-Marine and not the novelist in Pressfield who is talking, "Forget country. Forget king. Forget wife and children and freedom. Forget every concept, however noble, that you imagine you fight for here today. Act for this alone: for the man who stands at your shoulder."

Amen to that.

At the end of the book, I would have probably stranded there fighting side by side with them against the Persians. Because at that point, they were my friends, comrades, and heroes. It was when I put the book down that I realised that I already had the humble privilege of serving with my fellow brother and sister officers and soldiers of whom all were comrades, many were friends, and a few were unspoken heroes.

Does the battle of Thermopylae provide any lessons to us?

That is harder to discern because it depends on what values we already hold dear. Sparta was a small, compact, basically tribal society where every citizen (forgetting about the helots for the time being) was vitally needed and where warfare was hand-to-hand and absolutely communal, with your own brothers, uncles, father and friends fighting beside you, so if you acted the coward, there was no hiding it. The modern world of anonymity, mass culture, commercialism, shamelessness, indulgence of sensual desires, worship of money couldn’t be farther. The Spartan society is like a culture from the moon.

On an individual and interior basis, I think, can we take lessons that might help us. Self-discipline, loyalty, grit, hard work, perseverance, honour, humility, respect, and compassion.

On a societal level Spartans were not selfish and didn’t worship the cult of individualism as we do today. It was all about the group. In our age when civil strife, economic hardship, and effects of a unrelenting pandemic erode our trust in our political and civil institutions and set neighbour against neighbour because of the political or religious beliefs they might hold, the only thing we have left to fall back on is just our individual selves. It’s every man for himself. The Spartans would balk at such selfish individualism. The strength (and ultimately the effectiveness) of the Spartan phalanx was encapsulated in the “next man up” approach. If a warrior was injured or killed on the outer edge of the formation, the next man behind them would step up and take their place. The integrity of the group’s formation was protected at all costs, because without the strength of the phalanx to protect them, each man on had little chance of surviving the battle on his own. In a real sense, they had each other’s backs. They had the cohesion of a collective spirit. They were in it for each other together.

It’s not a bad thing in this day and age to be a little bit “spartan,” don’t you think?

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thevindicativevordan · 2 years ago

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Year in Review: 2022

Damn what a year. Not his best but definitely one that we will probably look back on as the defining year of the 2020s for the character. Held off on posting this until practically the last minute just to avoid any final surprises for Superman in a year that's been full of them.

Comics

On the comics side this was another great year. PKJ brought the Warworld Saga to an overall satisfying conclusion, wrapping up a storyline that brought the character to one of his lowest points ever at the start, and ended with Superman ascending triumphantly to new levels of power. While he fell short of his stated goal in differentiating Mongul from Darkseid, he did successfully create a Warworld brimming with future storytelling potential, and his Mongul is an entertaining foil for Superman regarding parental influence shaping their character. The post Warworld Saga issues have been solid, and I thought he, Williamson, and Taylor handled the restoration of the secret identity in Action Comics #1050 as best as they could have. Sad to see Federeci go but he gave us some all time great Superman covers and interiors regardless, and there's always a chance he and PKJ might reunite for a Superman BL book.

Mark Waid managed to actually live up to the hype surrounding his return to DC, with his World's Finest series being easily the best thing he's written since Daredevil. Convinced me to care about Magog outside of Kingdom Come for the first time ever, no mean feat. Champions had made me want to keep Waid far, far away from any teen characters ever again, but his writing for Dick, Kara, and the Teen Titans has been shockingly great, to the point calls for Waid to write a Titans book no longer strike me as utterly insane. Dan Mora of course is a key part of the book's success, his visuals being critical to selling the Neo-Silver Age atmosphere, and he managed to do the impossible: make Composite Superman cool. Many artists have tried to modernize that design, Mora finally succeeded by tossing everything out but the basic concept of a Superman/Batman merger. Starting from that simple idea he created a new design that captured everyone's interest.

Tom King stands out as someone who did excellent work with both Superman and Supergirl. His Dark Crisis Superman tie-in was a powerful exploration of Clark regaining the lost years with Jon. Burnham as always was the perfect fit for showing both characters wrestling with deep seeded emotional issues, and plenty of gore filled fisticuffs. Meanwhile he gave Kara her first standalone "classic", which has proved quite popular in trade sales judging both from King's own words and the Amazon sales list that I've seen. Bliquis Evely's art is for Supergirl what Frank Quietly is for Superman, scenes like the one where Supergirl takes red kryptonite to go fight space monsters are permanently seared into my brain due to sheer beauty and spectacle.

Elseworlds wise we had Venditti and Torres giving us the Superman III that never was with Superman '78. An entertaining execution of the standard "Brainiac shows up and tries to bottle Superman/Metropolis" plotline with a few twists that wrapped up this year, it had a few genuinely novel ideas that shaped my perception of Brainiac. Venditti also did a World of Krypton mini that retold the story of Krypton’s final days. Writing was mediocre but Oeming’s art is beautiful and was enough to keep me from dropping the book. Russel is doing a great job with a "Life Story" for Superman in Space Age, even if I wish he didn't give Batman as many pages as he does. Would buy an Absolute just for all that Allred art regardless, Allred is a vital component in my enjoyment of that series. Over at the Marvelous Competition, Gaiman and Buckingham are at last giving us the resolution to their Miracleman run. Unsurprisingly I am greatly enjoying it and very excited to read where it goes.

Sadly while Clark had a great year, and Kara didn't do bad herself, there were a number of crashes and burns too. Jon and Kon had a horrible year. Not since Byrne has a new Superman been given such a totally broken foundation, with Taylor doing his damndest to smother any potential Jon ever had. At this point I no longer care about Jon until they get him out of Taylor's clutches, which thankfully may be soon judging by his words in some recent interviews. Only bright spot for me regarding Jon was that, terrible as Dark Crisis was, Williamson wrote a really enjoyable and scrappy Jon there that reminded me of why I was interested in him being Superman in the first place. Kon meanwhile was in a garbage event tie-in that did zero of worth with him. 2022 ends as one of Conner's worst years ever easily.

Media

Outside of comics the simplest word to summarize Superman's treatment would be chaotic. Cavill makes his shocking return to the role for film, greeted by joyous fans!... who don't show up for Black Adam which bombs hard. Yet word is released that Man of Steel 2 is in the works, to much anticipation and speculation!... until Gunn and Safran get hired to run DC and promptly cancel MoS2, with Cavill acknowledging that his time wearing the cape has come to an end. Paired with this announcement is word that Gunn is writing the script for a new Superman reboot, and that Coates/Abrams project continues to be worked on as an Elseworld project. Other than Clark being already established as Superman, we know absolutely nothing about the proposed film, which didn't stop meltdowns across the Internet as the Cult finally realized that the Snyderverse was well and truly over. Momoa may be switching to Lobo for the DC cinematic universe, and if they're already talking to him about playing the role, it's a safe bet the first place he'll show up is the new Superman movie. The new DCU "Gunnverse" therefore is betting it's future on Gunn being the first one to succeed since Donner in adapting Superman, which means that the new head of DC is personally invested in ensuring Superman succeeds because it's his job on the line. At least he mentioned on Twitter that he loves Morrison's Superman, and he's been posting Andy Kubert art from Up in the Sky! which is very encouraging to say the least. Going from Snyder to Gunn might end up being the best upgrade Superman has gotten since Donner took over the first movie.

Another live action Superman got his second season this year and it was judged to be a step down from the first. Hoechlin, Tulloch, and Parks all did excellent with what they were given, and the actress playing Parasite tried her best with the flimsy characterization and lines she had to deliver. Jon's actor departed the show and was recast, whether that will cause a change in direction for the character is up in the air.

Animation was the best medium for the Supers outside of comics. Young Justice S4, while retreading old ground regarding Conner being reduced to a weapon, at least treated him better this year than the comics did. He got his happy ending with M'gann, and the show's take on the Zods was the best since Shannon. The season ending on a post credit tease for Kara becoming one of Darkseid's Furies, which is never getting followed up on unless that deal with Amazon bails the show out again, is hilarious. Fucking Weisman chooses to end the series on another big Darkseid tease despite knowing that it wasn't renewed for more seasons! If YJ is finished for good this time then I am at least satisfied with how Conner's story ended, and don't mind if that is the end. Jon and Krypto got entertaining animated movies too with Battle of the Super-Sons and League of Super-Pets, neither of which was anything special, but certainly worth a watch for anyone craving more Superman content. Whether either will see a sequel remains to be seen.

Video game wise we got the first WB cross-property brawler in Multiversus, with Superman in the starting line-up. Found the game fun enough, although it did nothing to diminish my craving for a proper Superman solo game. There were also multiple Superman Easter Eggs in Gotham Knights that referenced him directly or members of his family. Perhaps teases for future DC projects, perhaps not. Not sure I even want WB Montreal to attempt a Superman game after the Wattpad fanfic tier bullshit they submitted for Gotham Knights. Outright Games is also making a fun looking JL: Cosmic Chaos game that has the team dealing with Mxy.

Future

Next year is Superman's 85th and it looks like it will be a milestone anniversary indeed. First up we have PKJ's Action book switching to be more Superfamily focused starting in January, pitting them against a revamped Metallo. He's teased that after the Metallo arc is done, coming up the next arc will feature another revamp of a Superman fan favorite Rogue, a Multiversial Supermen team up is happening, Superman and Constantine may end up working together, and revealed he has ideas for Maxima, Toyman, Mxy, and Bizarro. Then in February Williamson is on a new Superman ongoing with art by Campbell and Dragotta, with a tone aiming to be reminiscent of the STAS cartoon. Finally we have Taylor launching a new Jon mini where he teams up with Val-Zod to stop Ultraman from killing variants of his dad across the Multiverse. Totally on board with PKJ, interested in Williamson, skipping Taylor entirely. Waid is continuing on World's Finest for now, and has teased there may be more spinoffs coming out of that series. I expect something involving Magog to come at some point in the future.

Waid and Yang are also overseeing Lazarus Planet which is an event that will shake up the status quo by giving characters new powers and changing the powersets of those who already have them (such as Jon getting the Electric Blue powerset). Hoping to see Waid and Yang use Clark, Jon, and Kenan in the event.

For upcoming Superman and Super adjacent characters comics that are for sure happening, first we have Steelworks by an unknown creative team (praying it's Pak writing) about John Henry Irons and Natasha working together to reshape Metropolis with their tech. Venditti is already writing a second season of Superman '78, no word on if Torres will return too. Porter's Superboy: Man of Tomorrow mini with Jahnoy Lindsay comes out next year. Premise is very similar to King's Supergirl series but this has been described as Superman meets DBZ which is definitely different tone wise from what King did. Christopher Priest is reuniting with his old Deathstroke team to make a Superman: Lost mini telling what happens when Superman is gone on a mission that's only a little while for everyone else, but centuries for him. Now's the perfect time to let Priest deconstruct Superman while the mainline books do more straightforward storytelling. While not officially announced, Waid and Hitch's Superman: Testament Black Label book is said to be coming out next year per Hitch himself.

More uncertainly there is Mark Millar saying he's having discussions regarding doing a Superman book for DC again, whether that's just typical Millar making a play for attention before announcing another Millarworld project remains to be seen. Geoff Johns may be working on a Legion book, his Flashpoint Beyond series teased a War of the Four Legions story that would doubtlessly result in the Retrobook ousting the Bendisboot from being the "canon" DC future. Would also no doubt restore Clark's childhood ties to the Legion and thus make Secret Origin canon in full. Scott Snyder talked about returning to DC in 2023 or 2024 for Metal 3 which he said before would be Superman focused, although given he described Death Metal as a "Wonder Woman" event he may not have the same definition on what constitutes that as the rest of us.

Live action wise, Gunn has said we will get more information about the coming slate, with Superman being one of the projects we'll learn more about no doubt, in Jan. S&L S3 promises a return to Metropolis, more journalism work for Lois, Intergang making moves, and a new Lex Luthor not played by Cryer complicating the status quo. John Henry Irons should remain a key character given Intergang killed his counterpart on the show's Earth, and is said to be involved going off of the solicit for S3. If the writers acknowledged the feedback on what worked and what didn't with S2 then I think the show can find it's footing again. If not I'll keep watching for as long as the Hoechlin/Tulloch/Parks trio keeps getting cool stuff to do.

Regarding animation we have two movies set in the "Tomorrowverse", Legion of Superheroes which stars Kara joining the titular team, and JL: Warworld which is our first movie following the Tomorrowverse incarnation of the JL. There's also a JL/RWBY movie which will have Superman in it, but having never watched any RWBY myself I plan on skipping it. Against all odds and in total defiance of what you would expect, WB chose to send the new Batman cartoon out to be shopped around and keep the new Superman cartoon for themselves as originally planned. A recent leak - which I won't share here - gave us some details on what the show has planned, and what I read has me eager as hell for MAWS to debut.

Despite all the craziness of the past year I feel incredibly upbeat going into 2023. The uncertainty surrounding Superman's film future has at last been put to rest, his new animated cartoon survived the purges, he's got a comic for everyone either out now or coming soon, the Superfamily and his Rogues are getting focus, and Multiversus broke the trend of all the video game Supermen being evil (although there's still Rocksteady's Suicide Squad game to contend with). Quite the turn around compared to where he was a decade ago, even if it doesn't give me everything I want.

#superman #year in review #phillip kennedy johnson #joshua williamson #tom taylor #robert venditti #christopher priest #mark russell #james gunn #superman and lois #henry cavill #dcu #multiversus #my adventures with superman #tomorrowverse #mark waid #2022

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shimbongulus · 2 years ago

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Old Jokes

Asgore emerged from their room resplendent in his beige apron tied about his ponderous belly, also wearing his straw hat. This was much to Toriel’s chagrin as she sat in her reading chair.

“Gorey, dearest, you truly are the most stubborn man in the world. Did you not pull your back yesterday!?”

“Yes, in fact, I did. And I intend to help it feel better with some gardening.”

Toriel shook her head, “At least yell loudly if you need assistance. I may be out in a bit - You have caught me in the midst of the most thrilling part of Eighty New Disserations on Snail Biology !”

He nodded, “I will. If it will make you feel better, Asriel’d offered to buy a second pair of gardening tools for us. You could be out there keeping me out of trouble.”

She snorted a bit, “As good a gift as any, the gift of keeping an eye on you. Please, be careful out there.”

“I will.” He walked out the front door, bound for the backyard.

She sighed and returned to her novel, the thought passing through her head, Some days he can be as stubborn as Gerson was.

Toriel moved her paw to turn the page when suddenly a great burst of obnoxious electronic music came from the corner of the room, accompanied by a flood of nonsense lyrics. The song’s only redeeming quality was a kicking bassline.

“UNH, DO THE WHOOPTY! THE WHOOPTY, YEAH, THE WHOOPTY!”

Toriel jumped initially at the loud, rude beats disrupting her reading trance. Without even raising her head to look at the source, she smirked and spoke after she had recovered, “Sans, you are, er, how does Alphys say it? Cringe?”

He stepped from the shadow with his usual comic smirk and grin, replying, “cringe is in the eye of the beholder.” The skeleton’s sneakers gently thudded against the floor as he sauntered towards Toriel. “how ya doin’, old lady?”

“Hee hee hee. And to think I called myself old when we first met. I was practically a spring chicken!”

“huh?” Sans spoke quizzically, “you were a chicken? never knew that.”

“It is a figure of speech, you silly creature,” she jokingly chided. But it was too late.

She could feel it on top of her head. She had to strike a delicate balance, carefully moving her head this way and that, straightening her magical spine, lightly sticking out her arms as her book gently thudded shut, the bookmark mercifully where she left it.

The thing on top of her head could only be felt by the slightest brushing against her fur, the lightest tickle against the hairs on her head.

“Sans, you did not.”

Sans winked, “so proud to see you’ve got another one on the way.”

The ovular hen-produce gently jostled adjacent to her horns. “Do you know what will happen if this gets on my lovely seat?”

“you’ll be doing one peck of a clean-up job?”

She struggled (and failed) not to even chuckle at the pun, the ovum atop her horned head, “Oh, come the hell on, Sans. This is not fair, that was a good one!”

He stared dead into her eyes, “now now, that language is not egg-spected of a hen of your standing.”

She fought the cackle that welled up from inside, reducing it to a chortle as she did a kind of manic top-half wobble to roll the egg from the back of her head once more towards the middle, but the chortle made the egg bounce ever so slightly.

“gonna run to the kitchen, you want anything?”

She snorted, “A paper towel would be nice for the impending mess you are about to cause on this seat!”

The sounds of rustling came from the kitchen as Toriel focused on not giving her favorite reading chair a new yolky eye. Glass rustled against plastic - a glass clacking against the dish strainer. The sound of liquid being poured came to her ears shortly after, as she focused on backing the egg away from the nearby precipice of the right side of her head.

The sound of the tearing of a paper towel gave her some relief as Sans thudded back from the kitchen with a half-full glass of water and a paper towel.

She watched his steps as she hoped, prayed, dreamed that he would step in her direction and offer her besieged balance a boon.

Instead, he sat down, yanking a seat from the table and sitting criss-cross-applesauce in the wooden chair. He gulped down some cranberry juice as he watched Toriel struggle to balance the egg.

And tauntingly, so tauntingly, he lifted the blue paper towel so slowly and delicately to his absolutely stain-free chin, dabbing absolutely nothing off his mouth.

“Oh, come the fuck on.”

(Read more...)

#undertale #asgoriel #asgore #toriel #sans #ao3

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signalwatch · 2 years ago

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Tarzan Watch: Greystoke - the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984)

this is the most pretentious possible Tarzan poster

Watched: 04/10/2023

Format: HBOmax

Viewing: First

Director: Hugh Hudson

I can only imagine what the pitch meeting was for this movie, and I can totally see how it happened.

In 1981, Hugh Hudson had directed Chariots of Fire, a movie that was a smash hit about pasty British guys running foot races and worrying about religion. Like, you couldn't escape the movie, which I watched on TV once when I was sick as a kid and immediately erased from my memory. But it was a big @#$%ing deal when adults went to the cinema.

I'm sure it's great. But it was an unlikely hit, and won Best Picture. Career made for somebody.

So when the director of the footrace movie comes to you and says "we're gonna do Tarzan. But now it's a prestige costume drama about how Tarzan is, in fact, a very sad ape man. He is not a super-human living among men, continually pursued by hot women and fighting weird alien threats and large animals. Instead, he's a kind of skinny French guy who does stuff you've seen apes do at the zoo. But, you know, it's quite sad" I guess you trust and give that guy a sack of cash to give it a go.

A bunch of other people had seen this movie, and had more or less ape-blocked me from seeing it over the years as every time I said "I've not seen this, but I'd like to" I'd be told "No. It is not good." And I was like "okay, fair enough." But tonight that didn't work, and I settled in for 2 hours and 15 minutes of sad Tarzan.

Look, at the end of the day, someone needed to realize a grown man imitating an ape is not what Tarzan is, exactly. Or that this would be a good thing to see on screen when it did happen. I don't know if they thought they were getting the magic on camera by having Christopher Lambert oop every time he felt an emotion, or basically having him play an ape who occasionally mutters short sentences. Frankly, this Tarzan seems positively ready for an institution, and so it makes for an utterly unbuyable love story between John Greystoke and Jane Porter, but it's the sexy 80's, so you know they're gonna bang. And, indeed, they do.

I've read the first Tarzan book, seen a few other Tarzan movies and read (and re-read) a Marvel comics adaptation of the first part of the first novel a fair bit, and you kind of realize the quick pitch version of the Greystokes winding up in Africa and their time there before things go sideways is more crucial than this movie thought. Add in that this movie really, really struggles with whether Tarzan is a feral person or has the astonishing intellect of the Tarzan of the novel in order to hew closer to a very 1980's story about man and nature, man's nature and nurture, and lacking basic reasoning skills in early 20th Century Scotland.

I can maybe get with a "but what if Tarzan really happened?" angle, but you're in a constant state of "yes, but..." regression that more or less flatlines at baby John Clayton dead in the jungle two days after his discovery by Kala. So you have to maybe accept even more, but more nuanced, absurdities than even the original novel doles out in order to buy the film. The casting of Lambert is odd, in part because he's not exactly Johnny Weismuller, and it's difficult to believe this guy survived in the jungle against apes and leopards. But it's the fact that when Tarzan is home, he's both utterly alien to himself and the world around him, but no one seems to notice? As he's all but flinging poo, people are just jabbering away at him.

What's oddest is that because Lambert is fairly successful at becoming an ape(mentally), it feels as if there's no inner world to Tarzan in some ways. We have no idea if he understands anything said to him, or the complexity of his predicament. He self soothes by ooping and rolling around. It's incredibly weird that the movie doesn't seem to think this is a problem. Or maybe it's an unsolvable problem? There's just a peculiar distance between the characters and the viewer, all of them - not just Clayton, that it's a bit odd.

All of that is, in it's way... kind of passable. But the movie is also morbidly predictable. Maybe it's the era, or maybe it's that they treat Tarzan more like a cub in Born Free than a human character, but you know this shit ends with Tarzan seeing his kindly grandfather/ benefactor croaking and the demands of the world becoming too much so he wanders back into the jungle to sweeping orchestral music before our ape man ever leaves the jungle. You know Jane will stand there impassiveley while Tarzan chooses a swift death in the jungle over endless food, luxury and sex with an actual human. You know the noble Belgian will try to get him back to the jungle when, frankly, he's probably gonna get killed after living soft for a year.

I am sure this felt mind-blowingly clever as they were making it, but the end result is a sad man making monkey noises for 90 minutes, and then running away. And that's maybe not what people were thinking of when they showed up to see a Tarzan flick with a budget.

Jamie mentioned the movie felt weirdly disjointed, and upon review... yeah. It kinda was. The movie can feel like it's borrowing from movies you already know, but doesn't do much with those storylines, so it's like these barely realized vignettes. Like - the entire storyline of Jane having a suitor goes nowhere and doesn't really do what it's intended to do - ie: show Jane how Tarzan is more noble than the nobleman. She doesn't see him beat the young helper guy. She doesn't see Tarzan save the day. She just dumps the guy for reasons that are vague (I mean, except wanting to live in a sweet mansion). That's just an example. The movie kind of does a lot of this.

It's a shame, because there's maybe a path for a Tarzan movie that tries to ground itself a bit more. But the 1980's was probably the last decade to tell a story about Tarzan without culture's need to navigate and acknowledge Europe's fuckery in colonial Africa. I think now you'd need to set the story post WWII or something and be careful. ERB's original prose isn't quite as racist as you'd expect, but it's certainly a product of its time (ie: it's still racist, just not as nut punchingly straightforwardly racist as other things you'll stumble over).

I kinda liked the 2016 Tarzan, because (a) the casting was rock solid (b) 3rd reel animal rampage and (c) making Lord Greystoke here anti-Colonial and giving a convincing argument for his desire to return home. It's got issues, and I wanted more monkey-business, but it was all right. That said - it was still mostly a reminder: oh my god. This is really hard now.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally watched it. It made excellent use of Andie McDowall's frankly stunning hair. Rick Baker's ape suits were everything I'd read about. The set and locations look phenomenal. There were genuine moments of hope for me that this might be better than expected.

https://ift.tt/m9dawB2

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/2mAZjzG

#tarzan #movies #film review #film

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kevin--of-desert-bluffs · 2 years ago

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WTNV quick rundown - 56 - Homecoming

I've decided that when it gets to around the time that the novel was released (soon!), I'm going to do a post purely about the 'main plot points/reveals' and then a secondary one of just 'cool facts I learn skimming it again'. This is for my own sanity trust me. This episode features Will Wheaton as Earl Harlan. It is autumn, and nature is vanishing. It is autumn, and nature is beautiful. Welcome to Night Vale.

In NV, the homecoming game is a literal homecoming, as in, dead citizens come home briefly for the half-time whilst the marching bands go spear hunting for dinner. Cecil is hoping to talk to his mother, especially since finding the cassettes he didn't understand and also he has become hermit-like (his words) now that Carlos isn't around and needs to get out.

His plan is jeopardised by accusations that one of the players, Malik Herrera, isn't actually real (which goes against rule 12, article 6).

Unfortunately, since his reality can't be proved until after the game would be scheduled, the whole game is forfeited and thus Cecil does not get to see his mother. To make things worse, a terrible storm rains down for five whole days, which would have resulted in a postponement of the game even if Malik was real. He's determined to be tangible, but not real post-storm. Even so, Coach Nazr al-Mujaheed and many other citizens, including Cecil, support his rights to play even if he's not real and get together after the storm to talk and stand up for him.

Malik says he doesn't even like football, but can't pursue his artist career unless the town collectively imagines it for him.

Weather: "Understood" by Y.R Generation yrgeneration.bandcamp.com

Earl Harlan has come onto the show to teach us how to make tiramisu. In NV fashion, it's a very strange version for example: eggs have teeth, organs and 'debris' in them, mascarpone is a kind of fish and nutmeg are a kind of creature which needs to be killed, cleaned and have a thick vein running up it's spine removed before it's safe to use though 'deveined' versions are available to buy. Tiramisu is also apparently quite poisonous.

Earl also reveals that he was literally 19 for many years, maybe even centuries and that he can't remember what year he graduated. Cecil also can't remember the year they graduated (which they did together, having been very close friends) even though he remembers that they stayed up late drinking a case of warm orangemilk and telling dirty jokes about the moon until the sunrise scared them off.

Earl says he all of a sudden stopped being 19 and was instead an adult with a kid, a house and a job. Cecil doesn't seem to understand, or want to understand, what Earl is actually saying.

There is a Night Vale Seismological Society, who schedule/carry out municipally-planned earthquakes. They don't really know what you're supposed to do to to keep safe during an earthquake and don't even know what's going to happen on Saturday, just that it'll be cool.

Staples encourages you to worship old gods.

The Red Mesa football team is called the Red Mesa Ant Carpenters.

There is a citizen called Inez Cordova whose son has started to walk. Teddy Williams finally rolled a 450 bowling. There are citizens called Wilson Levy and Amber Akinyi who tell Cecil a whispered story about their vacation to Luftnarp. Cecil talks to Diane Crayton about Carlos and is introduced to her son Josh (a shapeshifter) , who is first in the form of a monarch butterfly but later is a motorbike.

Nazr al-Mujaheed wears a goat-horned headpiece and comically large sunglasses. He also has tattoos of cat eyes on his eyelids.

I fell asleep easily that night. I dreamed of sun, of being with Carlos again, of a lighthouse that was not a lighthouse, of a world that is not anything at all. Perhaps a dream of things yet to come. Stay tuned next for a radio program that only dogs can hear. And as always, good night, Night Vale. Good night.

Proverb: I’ve got more rhymes than the Bible’s got Psalms. (One hundred fifty one. I’ve got one hundred fifty one rhymes.)

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv quick rundown #wtnv ep 56

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filipfatalattractionrblog · 4 months ago

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I'm going to reply from the end, because, amusingly, I haven't been on 4chan's comics board since moving out for work in 2014, and honestly, nowadays I don't consider "frequents 4chan" anymore damning that "frequents Facebook" or "frequents platform formerly known as Twitter". Sadly not because 4chan got better, quite the opposite. I'm unlikely to go to /co/ nowadays anyway, I stopped reading mainstream comics, too much bootlicking of mass murderers and fascists like Jason Todd.

Sadly Marvel doesn't really care much for individual sales, whole model runs on preorder culture at its worst. Unless you're doing numbers in trades Ms. Marvel 2014 was doing, it's very rare for trade sales to affect anything. In this model even waiting to read the book once it comes out is letting it be cancelled, everything is decided by preorders.

Ditto for piracy, people have been pirating comics to help spread how much they love them ad promote them alongside complaining about ones they hate. This did not affect anything in any way ever. Same way I do not think if pirating d&d affect anything - people who cannot afford it, won't buy it, people who can and want probably already did.

By the same note, I do not think I can agree with most of your scenarios. I know indie game creators who said they're ok with people pirating their games if they cannot afford it, but all such examples are in video games -Darkwood and Slay the Princess (at least during sudden popularity spike StP had when Markiplier was streaming it - developers threw in a sale where the price was pennies, and said if anyone else still cannot afford it, they're ok with pirating it). But I also know of situations in indie comics, like a comicbook that had go from monthly traditional format to graphic novel series to keep being published and how the writer was furious when he found one of scanlation sites holds that book and it's been downloaded by ten times the number of people who bought it.

And really, indie games are in promotions and bundles on places like itch.o so often, I would really feel like a dick for stealing from what is often one-person team. At least when you pirate WotC you know no one who actually worked on this book was going to see this money, it all goes to CEO's huge unearned bonus. I didn't pirate Darkwood or StP either, bought both.

I do not consider sharing pdf of the book a piracy. If you bought a copy you have right to use it for private purposes. Playing with six people is not mass piracy, and neither is it promoting that game, that's too little people to matter.

And yes, you can easily pick any part of d&d ruleset for free, legal or not, online. I still think the situation where someone is dissuaded from trying other games jsut because D&D is there, is far-fetched. I feel at worst-case scenario that is a very small vocal minority. And you yourself found a solution to that - just give them free copy of pdf of your indie game of choice. If they're still unwilling to try anything but d&d, the price is clearly not an issue.

Now I could find two situations where I find piracy of indie rpgs ok. Whenever you want to see if the system is for you before making purchase of physical copy to run it. Or if you already want a physical copy and want an electornic spare. But then I think doing both of those things should be legal and normalized regarding all forms of media.

Hope I didn't miss anything, it's a long post.

There's an interesting alchemy by which, for certain TTRPG fans, WotC's misbehavior makes it more moral to play D&D if you're broke.

The logic goes something like this: WotC is bad, and therefore it is good to steal from them. Indie creators are good, and therefore it is bad to steal from them. Therefore, if you don't have money to spend on games, it is moral to play D&D and immoral to play indie games.

For some reason, the fact that this unimpeachable logic only benefits WotC and only harms indie creators is not relevant.

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yurimother · 4 years ago

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The Best Yuri of 2020

2020 was hell in every way, and many of us are looking forward to new possibilities and advances in 2021. However, the year brought us many small moments and gifts worth celebrating. Among these, the explosive growth and change within the Yuri genre are among the most precious and most outstanding achievements. This second century of Yuri opened with a bang, as phenomenal new works, creators, and moments made their mark and helped change the future genre.

This annual list is a celebration of just a handful of the fantastic titles, people, and events in Yuri. There are likely some even greater ones that did not make the list because there is so much content in both English and Japanese that even I cannot keep up. However, among the troves of treasure, these titles stood out as shining examples of Yuri excellence. Some were released this year, others were recently adapted into English, and still, others are established titles that rose to prominence to dominate the conversation and my mind this year, but every one of them is worthy of being on this list and in your heart.

Here is the Best Yuri of 2020!

15: The Curse of Kudan Remastered

Japanese Yuri visual novel developers show no sign of slowing down as they continue to push to new heights and try new ideas. These are the same amazing people who brought us the delightful educational Yuri game The Expression Amrilato and the hilarious and surprisingly queer OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbando’s. However, this most recent release, The Curse of Kudan Remastered, is their best work yet. Released near Halloween, this game brings a new edge of dark mystery and the occult to Yuri audiences worldwide.

The Curse of Kudan is available on MangaGamer, JAST USA, Denpasoft, and Sekai Project.

14: Adachi and Shimamura

English audiences were finally treated this year to Hitoma Iruma’s long-running and wildly successful Yuri light novel series, Adachi and Shimamura. Although the story struggles to gain traction, dedicated readers’ have their patience rewarded with a sweet tale full of gay pining. Alternatively, you can jump into its stellar anime adaptation, with gorgeous visuals and realized characters you will actually be willing to put up with the annoying Yashiro just to see where the title characters go. The series shows no sign of slowing down either, as the manga adaptation is coming to Western audiences next year.

Adachi and Shimamura is available to stream on Funimation. The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

Honorable Mention: Happy Go Lucky Days

The OVA adaptation of Fragtime got most of the attention this year. Still, director Takuya Satou and Pony Canyon also gave us this much-overlooked “love is love” anthology movie based on Takako Shimura’s manga (Sweet Blue Flowers, Wandering Son). The first short in the film, “Happy,” is easily the best Yuri anime of the year. It follows the beautiful yet realistic queer love story of two women hooking up at a mutual ex-girlfriend’s wedding, only for the relationship to blossom and warm viewers’ hearts. Sadly, while stylized, the budget demanded the animation cut a few too many corners. Additionally, the subsequent stories are at best tedious and at worst alarmingly problematic, which is why Happy Go Lucky Days only gets an honorable mention.

The OVA is streaming on HIDIVE

13: Mieri Hiranishi

The Yuri scene has many colorful creators with a breadth of different ideas and stories in the genre, yet few have provided as much humor and joy as Mieri. This talented creator spectacularly tumbled into the scene with her manga essay The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Straight, which embodies the brutal honesty and realism of Nagata Kabi and matches it with exaggerated hilarity. She continues to chronicle her painful struggles of being a butch girl in love with butch girls in the monthly series The Girl that Can’t Get a Girlfriend. Alternatively, you can follow her on Twitter for just as much heart and laughter.

Read The Girl that Can’t get a Girlfriend on Tapas and Webtoon.

12: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess has what can only be described as volcanic bisexual energy. Every character protagonist Catarina Claes encounters is entirely enthralled by her. Of course, she is far too preoccupied with her quest to avoid doom flags and change her ultimate fate to notice any romantic interest. The series is rewarding and well structured, as views are just as focused on how Catarina plans to avoid certain doom as they are with the various romantic misses her band of companions cooks up. While the “friendship ending” did not capitalize on its Yuri potential, it was perhaps the most satisfying possibility for this crazy harem, at least until season two comes out, which looks, unfortunately, to be significantly less queer.

My Next Life as a Villainess is streaming on Crunchyroll

11: Love Me for Who I Am

Kata Konayama’s manga series is less Yuri than a general LGBT work, but it has a lesbian character and explores her identity and struggles in great detail. Few titles before have captured the exciting and nervous waves of emotions that young people feel as they explore gender and sexual identities and try to find themselves. This heartfelt and extremely queer series rubberbands between cute moe dress up to tragic and gripping backstory, keeping readers on their toes the whole time.

Love me for Who I Am is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

10: A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986

Oracle and Bone’s debut visual novel, A Summer’s End, is set in a vibrant and electric 1980’s Hong Kong. Drawing inspiration from classic Asian cinema, music, and fashion. The worlds of Michelle, a young office worker, and a free-spirited woman named Same collide. The two struggle to comprehend and accept each other’s feelings just as they struggle against society’s expectations and prejudices. An incredibly thoughtful and touching adventure, the creators incorporated vital contemporary elements include Asian LGBTQ rights and growing political unrest in Hong Kong, into this illustrious game.

The visual novel is available on Steam.

Honorable Mention: Goodbye, My Rose Garden

In the same vein as A Summer’s End, Goodbye, My Rose Garden is a beautiful period piece that incorporates LGBT views into its shattering narrative. The story follows a bright-eyed immigrant, Hanako, wanting to make a new life in England as an author at the dawn of the twentieth century. She takes a job as a maid to noblewoman Alice, but their relationship takes a turn when Alice asks Hanako to kill her. This poignant tale is beautiful and an honest depiction of love and its conflict with responsibility and society.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

9: Shio Usui

Usui’s hit Shaikaijin Yuri manga Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon could easily take this spot even though it is not even out in English until February 2021. The manga is already making waves and receiving constant praise. The characters and their journey to discover love and self-acceptance are as charming as they are relatable and grounded. However, it is the creator, Usui, who really deserves acclaim. Not just for their work on Doughnuts, but having a second serialized story, Onna Tomodachi to Kekkon Shitemita, in monthly Yuri magazine Comic Yuri Hime simultaneously. It is even more remarkable when you consider these two iconic stories are Usui’s first long-running works, as they only contributed one-shots before.

8: Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka

Bloom Into You is possibly the most iconic Yuri series in the past decade, and while the manga deserves its own place on this list, the best thing to come out of the series as a whole is easily the light novels. This trilogy by Adachi and Shimamura creator Hitoma Iruma dives deep into supporting cast member Sayaka. Readers are treated to a delightful journey as she discovers her sexuality, experiences heartbreak, and finally finds herself breaking free and falling in love. With the help of gorgeous illustrations by Nakatani Nio herself, Iruma masterfully captures Sayaka’s unique voice and emotions in this wonderful series. Whether a fan of the originals or not, every Yurijin must check out Regarding Saeki Sayaka.

The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

7: Our Teachers are Dating

The best a Yuri can get. This workplace romance follows two teachers at the start of a new relationship taking nervous yet enthusiastic first steps, including saying I love you, going on their first date, and even sleeping together. It is so heartfelt and salacious that readers will squeal the whole time. Additionally, our heroines are supported in their relationship by everyone they know, their students, colleagues, and even the principal. It is a perfect world for these two lovebirds! Our Teachers are Dating would easily be number one or two in any other year, but the competition is fierce in 2020. So even though this is only number seven, it is still a master class Yuri manga.

The manga is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

6: Amongst Us

Who would have thought that a comedy alternative universe story spinoff of a fantasy action series would be the single best Yuri webcomic this year? Shilin’s astounding artwork illustrations the hilarious and irresistible journey of girlfriends Blackbird and Veloce. These two eccentric young women get into all kinds of everyday mischief that bounces between tender and touching romance, completely outrageous comedy, and downright thirst-inducing sorcery. Seriously, you should buy the first volume for Veloce’s back muscles alone. The storyline skips between time, but both their established relationship and their meeting as teenagers are adorkable and captivating.

Amongst Us is available online free on Webtoon and the comic’s website. The first volume is in paperback on Shilin’s site.

Honorable Mention: Éclair

There are a lot of Yuri anthologies out there, and they have done some beautiful things. Many focus on themes like Syrup. Others collect a series of stories by an author into one bound work. However, out of all of them, Éclair is the most successful. ASCII Media Works took some of the genre’s most extraordinary creators and let them do whatever they wanted, and the results are spectacular. The incredible talent behind Éclair somehow packs a full volume’s worth of story and character into just a few pages with every chapter. While the first volume came overseas a few years ago, Yen Press gave Yurijin a gift this year by releasing the entire rest of the series in which readers can get lost.

The anthology series is published by Yen Press - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

5: I’m in Love with the Villainess

A small trend of isekai Yuri with villainesses emerged recently, and I honestly had few hopes of I’m in Love with the Villainess. The series is pretty popular, but I often find that this does not denote quality, and with isekai having some institutional issues, I suspected this would fall flat. Then the volume three cover showcased an incredible accomplishment, allowing for a lesbian relationship to blossom into a family with children, and it blew me away. Finally, I read volume one and realized that the series has incredible character, some of the best world-building I have ever seen in a light novel, thoughtful discussions of inequality and societal issues, and most impressively, open and frank discussion of queer identity and life Yuri has ever seen! This one is something special.

The series is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3nedvdZ

4: The Last of Us Part II

Yes, I know this one is not Yuri and that a portion of the population despises this game and will likely be exceptionally angry at me for including it. However, I maintain that it was an incredibly challenging masterpiece. Naughty Dog did not take the easy route out and delivered one of the most devastating media experiences I have ever seen. As I said in my article about the game, playing it changed me, and it sticks with me to this day. The Last of Us Part II earns its spot on this list because it pushed boundaries more with LGBTQ inclusion than any other AAA game. From brave inclusion of LGBTQ themes to queer characters and storylines at its center, the game changes gaming and it will never go back.

The Last of Us Part II is available on PlayStation 4

3: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

She-Ra feels like the culmination of all the LGBTQ progress western cartoons have made over the past few years. From The Legend of Korra to Steven Universe, young people are finally seeing more LGBTQ people represented on the small screen. This epic fantasy concluded with an amazing and powerful lesbian romance, delivering on its queer promise and revolutionized representation in a trope-defying crescendo.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is streaming on Netflix

2: The Conditions of Paradise

The greatest single Yuri work of all in 2020 was the English release of Akiko Morishima’s breakthrough manga, The Conditions of Paradise. Initially released in 2007, this anthology detailed the love between adult women. It was in every way a manga ahead of its time, and seeing it finally get a small piece of the recognition it deserves overseas is a true gift. The fact that we can own this legendary piece of Yuri history and Morishima’s other anthologies is nothing short of a blessing from the Yuri goddess.

The Conditions of Paradise is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38bh4xq

Honorable Mention: Otherside Picnic

This eerie sci-fi horror series combines the best of pulse-pounding thrillers, complex and intelligent hard science fiction, and exciting Yuri romance. Author Iori Miyazawa spends as much time crafting a well-paced and intriguing narrative about a mysterious world where occult creatures roam as he does establishing two believable and grounded heroes in Sorawo and Toriko. The romance between the two may be slow to start, but their chemistry is undeniable and as the stakes and story build, so too does their relationship. Not only are the light novels incredible, but the series’ manga adaptation is coming soon to the West as well as an upcoming TV anime in early 2021.

Otherside Picnic is streaming on Funimation. The light novels are published by J-Novel Club - https://amzn.to/3niiv1g

1. Yuri subgenres

For a long time, Yuri was not a genre of its own, but elements of romances or bonds between women found in other works. Now, thanks to an increasing library of works, the advent of social media, and a wider audience, Yuri is a genre on its own, with many creators telling different stories in different styles. However, 2020 saw the continued emergence of something extraordinary, subgenres. Yuri is now so vast, we can actually categorize the works within. Depending on their characters, like classic schoolgirl romances or spicy shakaijin office affairs, their world, such as fantasy or isekai series and thrilling science fiction adventures, and even other elements within. One of my personal favorites is the feminist Yuri that emerges from titles like Sexiled, where women celebrate the accomplishments of other women and dismantle power structures stacked against them. Now, no matter what kind of Yurijin you are, there is something for you to love.

I am happy to leave 2020 behind, but I bring with me a renewed love and admiration for Yuri. 2021 looks to be a somehow even better year for the genre, and I am thrilled to experience every minute of it that I can. Yuri has transformed into something far greater than I ever thought it would be, and let us all enjoy its evolution and expansion together in 2021.

#yuri #manga #anime #top 10 #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #gay #girls love #gl #adachi and shimamura #otherside picnic #lists #2020 #happy new year #2021 #new year

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figofswords · 2 years ago

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Hi!! Okay for comic recs, if that's okay - I'm not a big comic nerd because I don't like the gritty style as much (not saying that all are, that's just what I've been exposed to). I do love graphic novels.

But I've watched Young Justice and read the Batfam webtoon and am now a massive Dick Grayson fan. Do you have any recommendations for DG content? Thank you!!

ok sorry i saw this when i was busy and then forgot about it but YES i do have recs!

the lost carnival (michael moreci) - you said you like graphic novels so this is my first rec! it's a dick grayson stand-alone graphic novel about dick going back to visit haly's circus and sort of discovering this history of magic and romance and tragedy. i love this graphic novel. it's maybe not the most CANON canon thing but the art is GORGEOUS and it's a really sweet story.

robin: year one (chuck dixon) - this is among my favorite comics. it's a four book series featuring dick right after becoming robin, following the origin continuity established for him in batman: dark victory. it's very cute, it's sort of a coming of age story, and i adore its portrayal of dick and bruce's dynamic. (in general, chuck dixon is a good writer to look out for with robin comics—he has a really good run on tim's robin in the 90s. he is unfortunately annoyingly conservative but his writing itself is really good and he keeps his politics out of his comics, so. death of the author, yadda yadda, it's hard to avoid in comics but again his writing is really quite good)

batman chronicles: the gauntlet - this is a single-issue story, again from dick's early days as robin. the premise is basically he's got this final test before bruce will let him go out as robin officially: make it a whole night in gotham city without bruce finding him. but then! stuff happens! bruce needs to get to him to help him but uh oh! dick still thinks they're doing hide and seek! anyway yeah this comic is really well done and i like it a lot.

batman: year three (batman #436-439) - dick (now nightwing, post jason's death, JUST before tim) comes home for the first time in a while just in time for tony zucco's parole hearing and ends up revisiting the circumstances of his parents' murders. disclaimer that while this has been on my list for a while i haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but it's sort of the first real deep dive into dick's origin story and it's written by marv wolfman who i 100% trust. (anything by marv wolfman is also good to check out - he's responsible for aging dick into nightwing and giving him his own identity outside of being batman's partner during the new teen titans, which i haven't read much of but which is supposed to be very very good)

some other stuff i haven't read yet but have heard very good things about:

-nightwing (1996). chuck dixon's run. i don't like the art style which is why i keep failing to read this but the story is well regarded.

-the new teen titans. again, i trust marv wolfman. i did start reading and loved what i was seeing but haven't gotten very far. this is an ensemble cast and not just dick but you said you started with yj so you should be fine.

-batman: gates of gotham. batman!dick and the rest of the kids dealing with a resurfaced old old gotham mystery. the only reason i didn't finish this is i got distraced bc im trying to read like ten different things at once

-the current run of nightwing written by tom taylor is also supposed to be pretty good. i definitely love the art style but i've been putting off reading until more of it got uploaded to dc universe infinite. if i try and get caught up now i'm going to want to read them as they come out by going to the comics store and buying individual issues and that is bad for my wallet. ANYWAYS. it looks good so maybe worth checking out.

and that's my list for you! this is probably way wordier than you were looking for but who am i if i don't type up paragraphs and paragraphs when asked about my opinions. hopefully this is helpful and have fun reading!

#asks #anonanonanonanah #comic recs #i guess im making that a tag now lol

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rachelbethhines · 2 years ago

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Tangled Bonus Marathon - Tangled the Series Magazine

Introduction

There are supposedly several copies of this magazine that were published, but they are extremely hard to come by. I believe there are six issues in total, but I could only find this one issue, published in 2017, for sale. And even of it, there was only one of two copies left. This arguably makes it the rarest piece of merch covered in the marathon. Even more so than then the journal replica.

Content

It’s an activity book.

I mean that’s literally all there is to it. Later issues had like comics (all of which were reprinted in the graphic novels) and such, but this particular issue is almost entirely arts, crafts, and games.

Now, for an activity book you do get a lot of content. There are writing prompts, quizzes, art exercises, tons of crafts, hair style ideas, coloring pages, simple puzzles, and even a board game!

In addition to that there’s two promo posters, a couple of door hangers, invitations that you can cut out, and one of those paper fortune teller things that we all made in back elementary school.

Unlike some other activity books that we will look at for the marathon, these magazines are made to be destroyed, cut up, tore up, and scribbled on. I’m just not sure you want to do any of that considering their potential collector’s value.

The only gripe I have with book is it’s attempts to give life advice.

This was made early in season one’s run, so the magazine felt the need to recap a lot of stuff and give little introductions to a few new characters. Including Monty, who gets two whole pages dedicated to him and his feud with Rapunzel, along with ‘advice’ on ‘How to Agree to Disagree”.

It sucks ass!

Disney you are not allowed to teach my child conflict management!

On the surface a lot of it sounds like reasonable stuff, like be respectful, be patient, look for good in people, and shit like that.... Unfortunately, we live in a world where half of my co-works are actively trying to deny me the medicine I need to live just because they believe it’ll make gas prices cheaper for them (It won’t).

Sometimes you just don’t vibe with people, nothing wrong with that, but other times the people you hate are actual threats to your life and ‘playing nicely’ with them will get you killed. You need to teach kids how to tell the difference between dislike of something and when someone is an actual threat to them first, before you teach them the proper way to respond to a conflict, because those two things require very different responses.

Presentation

The art work is fine. It’s in the typical art style for the series. The page layouts can get a bit cluttered though. However, I’ll give the book bonus points for not having any of the potentially destructive activities, like the cut outs or the painting, be on the same page as anything else. Meaning you don’t have to pick and chose between what you want to keep or not, unlike lesser kid’s activity books I’ve seen.

Would I Recommend It

Honestly, given the price and how rare it is, this is only for the hard core collector. If you buy this brand new, like I did, you’re not going to use it as an activity book. If you do any of the activities inside, you’ll do them on scrap paper or by tracing.

I can’t promise that any of the magazines will be worth a whole lot of money in ten years time, but the ones in good condition will absolutely be resalable later for a higher price than the original market value; especially if you have the single Varian issue.

You’re right now looking a $10 dollar product getting at least a double mark up to $20/$25. I already had to pay $16 for my copy. Give it a few more years, and I’m guessing it’ll go for $30 to $40 dollars easy.

Now whether or not $40 dollars will be worth anything in a few years is another matter.

Next Up

We’re going back to the episode adaptions with Tales of Rapunzel 2: Opposites Attract.

#tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #tangled #disney #tangled magazine

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em-neko · 4 years ago

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FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM (KBTBB HEADCANON)

how i think mc would’ve met + fallen in love with the bidders if she hadn’t been put up for auction.

oh and i added a song to go along with each scenario, enjoy!

a/n: the auctions don’t exist in this universe, so the bidders don’t know each other (assuming soryu, eisuke and luke didn’t stay in contact after high school). however, shuichi and hikaru are friends.

EISUKE

when mc worked at the tres spade, they’d often run into each other

she’d always catch his eye, but he wasn’t sure why

she was just like any other maid, after all

but to him, she seemed different somehow

one day, his curiosity got the best of him and he promoted her to the penthouse

at first, she was really shy and wouldn’t even look him in the eye

he’d try chatting her up (in his own way)

but she wouldn’t open up (understandably)

so one day, he asked her to make him coffee

their first conversation was about how eisuke liked his coffee

somehow, he managed to make her laugh

and slowly, she began warming up to him

since then, whenever she’d go up to the penthouse to clean, they’d end up just talking the entire time

mc got in trouble for it (and by trouble i mean, erika and tweedledee and tweedledum bullied her about it) but eisuke always defended her

if eisuke was too busy in his office to talk to her, he’d leave her a small present on the coffee table for her to find

things like jewelry, clothes, beauty products and sweets

in exchange, mc left notes and doodles for eisuke to find

once she even left a short comic that she’d written and illustrated for him to read

he saved them all

soon, their relationship turned flirty

eisuke would tease her constantly

sometimes, he’d jokingly pin mc down on the couch

or he’d give her little surprise kisses while she’d be cleaning

mc would always blush and get super flustered

in typical eisuke fashion, he’d play it off as a joke

but it was obvious he really liked her

soon, eisuke offered her to move into the penthouse

he blamed it on boredom and pulled them “it’s for work” card, but mc saw right through it

and she agreed

SORYU

i genuinely don’t think they would’ve ever met if it weren’t for the auctions

however, i could see them potentially meeting in a bookstore

it was that cliche, looking over the shelf, eyes meeting type of thing

soryu didn’t pay any mind to her at first, but he’d remember her face

he found himself thinking about her a lot

she was scared of him at first, but she found him really attractive

so they’d both go to the bookstore every few days, hoping they run into one another

they wouldn’t speak to each other though

but that doesn’t mean the staff of the bookstore didn’t take notice of their occasional glances

they were kinda suspicious because mc and soryu would always be in the store at the same time

so one day, after closing, the staff reorganized the shelves so that the romance section (mc’s favorite section) would be right besides the crime novel section (soryu’s favorite section)

hoping they’d talk to each other

and it worked!

when mc and soryu returned to the bookstore the next day, they realized that things had been move around

and found themselves shoulder to shoulder

mc eventually gathered up the courage to ask him what he was reading

and he offered to buy her a book he liked

in exchange, she bought him a book she liked

every few days, they’d purchase books for each other, and talk about the last books

mc began to leave notes in soryu’s books

and he left notes in hers too

notes turned to letters

and soon, a phone number was left on the bottom of one of the letters

OTA

they met at a museum

ota was there to look for inspiration

while mc was just wardering around on her lunch break

ota caught mc’s eye immediately, he’s the angelic artist after all

but she didn’t want to bother him, nor did she have the courage to talk to him in the first place

so she just pretended like she didn’t see him

when the paparazzi and ota’s fangirls catch wind that he’s at the museum, they all swarmed the place

ota frantically tried to find a place for hide

and luckily for him, mc found a way to sneak into the security guard’s office

she ushered him in and told him to hide under the desk

while waiting for the chaos to cool down, they joked around and laughed together

ota told mc she looked like his old dog and called her koro as a joke

she rolled her eyes, before bursting out laughing

he started treating her like a dog (asking her to sit, give paw, jump etc.) and she played along

they both laughed together hysterically at the end

when the chaos cooled down, ota left his hiding spot

but, not before asking her if he can “take her on a walk sometime”

she’d bark happily

i made mc a whiling participant to ota’s shenanigans because a big reason why i didn’t like ota’s main story was because i felt so bad for mc

MITSUNARI

they met after baba had stolen a painting at an gallery, owned by a child predator

ayame was chasing him down the street

with no where to go, baba ran into a random building

(that happened to be mc’s apartment complexe)

he entered a random apartment on the second floor

(which also happened to be mc’s apartment)

and hid inside her bathtub

when mc got home and found him inside her bathtub, she freaked out (obviously)

she yelled at him and beat him with a broomstick

somehow baba managed to talk her out of calling the cops by explaining the situation to her

after she calmed down, they drank some tea together and chit chatted

mostly about their jobs

baba teased her a lot about being a maid, while she simply blushed, too shy to tease back

but she couldn’t hide the fact that she found good looking

minutes turned to hours

and the next morning, mc woke up in her own bed

turns out, baba had carried her to her bedroom after she’d fallen asleep while they were talking

and sat at the foot of her bed until the crack of dawn

just to make sure she didn’t have any nightmares after the scare he gave her

to thank her for “the unforgettable night” she gave him, he left her a note with his phone number on it

and at the bottom, it was written to call him if she ever needed help

and he’d be there

mc didn’t think she’d ever use it, after all she wasn’t stupid, she knew a womanizer when she saw one

but when she got invited to a party a few days later, she realized that she needed a date

and who better was to call than the flirty thief she’d just met?

MAMORU

they met on the bus

mc was on her way to meet a friend

while she was sitting on the bus, reading her book, mamoru came stumbling in

mc noted that he looked sleepy

when he came towards her, she made sure to move her back out of the way so he could sit down

mere seconds after the bus began moving again, mamoru fell asleep

on mc’s shoulder

mc didn’t want to wake him up and ask him to move because he seemed so exhausted

so she let him sleep on her

she didn’t mind too much, besides she was only getting off at the last stop

and she thought he was pretty cute, but she’d never admit that

but then, the last stop came

and mamoru was still sleeping on her shoulder

mc wondered if he’d missed his stop or if he was getting off on the last stop too

she gently nudged him, calling out to him to wake up

when he woke up, he realized he’d missed his stop and started freaking out

he blamed mc for not waking him up at his stop

mc retorted that she didn’t know which stop was his

and they walked off the bus bickering

they continued arguing on the street too

until mamoru realized how stupid he sounded and somewhat apologized

mc was understandably annoyed that this man had wasted her time and stomped away

but before she could get far enough away from him, he called out to her

he asked her if he could apologize to her with some dinner

he expected her to say no

but instead, she told him she’d only go if he took her to the best ramen place in town

and he agreed

LUKE

like soryu, i can’t imagine them ever meeting if it wasn’t for mc being sold at the auctions

however, there is a possibility that they’d run into each other at the hotel

mc had just gotten transferred to the tres spade dubai

and luke had a meeting there with potential patient

while luke waited for the patient in the lobby, all of the female staff members were checking him out

of course, he is very handsome after all

mc didn’t pay too much mind, she admitted he was good looking, but this was the tres spade

handsome men came through those doors every day

so she simply walked by and continued her work

and luke and his patient eventually went to his suite

a few hours later, mc was asked to bring some refreshments to room 145

turns out, it was luke’s patient’s suite

she smiled politely at luke and his patient and placed the bottles of whiskey on the table in front of them

eyes wide like he was in a trance, he reached his fingertips towards her chest

panicked, mc was about to push his hands away and apologize, thinking he was reaching for her breast

but he wasn’t

instead, he began caressing her collarbones, while praising their beauty

mc and the patient stared at each other with big eyes, confused as to what to do

“uh.. dr foster, are you okay?”

mc was beginning to get flustered at how close luke was

so she gently placed her hands on his and pushed them off of her

she apologized and told him she had to go, and to call the front desk if he needed anything else

but before she could leave, luke called out to her

he asked her if she’d come to his clinic sometimes

he wanted to get x-ray’s of her collarbones

and as weirded out as mc was, she agreed

SHUICHI

they met while shuichi was staying at the tres spade japan on a business trip

mc had just finished cleaning the third floor

so she stepped on the elevator to make her way to the twentieth floor, where she’d end her shift

shuichi was already inside

she bowed to him, greeting him politely

he simply nodded his head

after pressing her floor button, she stepped back and stood besides shuichi

they rode in silence

until the elevator suddenly came to a harsh stop

mc began freaking out

and shuichi got frustrated

he tried mc calming down in his own way

she got pissed at him

but hey, at least she wasn’t panicking anymore

shuichi clicked the help button and they waited

and waited

after a while, while they sat on the floor, mc apologized to shuichi for the inconvenience

he assured her that it wasn’t her fault

after a brief moment of silence, she asked him why he was staying at the tres spade

and they began talking about work

soon, the conversation turned political

mc was a unsure because of how stiff shuichi was

she thought he was annoyed at her

but he wasn’t

in fact, shuichi was impressed by how educated mc was on the subject

and he loved how casually she spoke about it too

once help finally arrived, he couldn’t help but feel sad that the conversation had to come to an end

he genuinely loved talking to her

she was laid back, but intelligent, a combination he found very attractive

so he asked her she’d be his date that night to his business dinner

and she said yes

HIKARU

they met at work, of course

hikaru was always super friendly towards mc

he’d always help her when he had free time

sometimes he’d buy her food at the cafeteria

or bring her coffee from the local coffee shop

soon, mc began developing a little crush on him

at least, that was until he lured her to into a secluded area at the hotel and threatened her with a knife

turns out, he was going after the wrong person

his target’s wife coincidentally had the same first and last name as mc

hence why hikaru confused them

he apologized

but now that she knew who he really was, he couldn’t just let her go

so he told the manager that they were dating and he wanted mc to move in with him

unfortunately for mc, the manager said yes

and they moved in together

at first, mc was (understandably) afraid of hikaru

but soon, she warmed up to him

in fact, she actually began liking his sassy attitude better than his good guy persona

and there was no denying he was into her too

they played house together

they cooked together, cleaned together, watched shows together, built ikea furniture together

hell, they even argued about which type of cheese to buy at the grocery store

when hikaru had nightmares, they’d cuddle and mc would listen to him talk about his demons all night

hikaru was terrified she’d leave him one day

but she never did

RHION

they met at an antique store

rhion was looking for a new unique trinket to add to his collection

while mc was simply aimlessly wandering around the shop

when their eyes suddenly met

it was love at first sight

however, they were both too shy to come up to each other

so they just creeped on each other until the store closed

when it was time to go home, rhion instantly regretted not talking to her

he was upset, there was his chance to not be alone anymore, yet he blew it

he felt like a coward

but the next day, rhion got a knock at the door

and it was mc!

turns out, he had dropped his id while paying for his things at the antique store

and mc was there to return it

he told her that he’d “found his alice”

and invited her in for some tea

they talked until the early hours of the morning

she spent the night

then the week

then the month

and that’s when rhion realized, she wasn’t leaving

and he didn’t complain one bit

#kbtbb headcanon #kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #love 365 #love 365: find your story #voltage inc #voltage games #voltage headcanon #otome game #nina’s headcanons

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roger-that-cap · 4 years ago

Text

jack pendleton

summary: moving into an apartment to get away from your last relationship was fun all fun and games until you met your extremely attractive across-the-hall neighbor, who makes awesome cookies and even better novels.

author!bucky x reader

warnings: no legitimate warnings besides swearing, it kind of moves just a weensie bit fast but i think it’s cute, minimal angst, I WROTE THIS IN ONE DAY and that is a warning tbh so expect mistakes in this hunk a junk-

word count: 6.2k!

Searching for your new apartment was a terribly long and boring process, but even you couldn’t deny that finally moving in was heavenly.

It was the first thing that you did by yourself after having a mutual break up with your boyfriend, and you would be damned if it felt anything but good. He confessed to you that he had fallen in love with a man that he met online. Not only that, but an Italian man that he was teaching English to over a website. He was brave enough to tell you as soon as he realized that he loved the man, so the heartbreak was minimal.

You never told him, but honestly, you sort of respected him for that. So, with your hidden respect and gratitude, you wished him well and knew that you were going to be the one to find a new place.

So there you stood, right in front of your new place with a singular box in your arms, all the others in the smallest U-Haul available to rent that you drove there. You stared at your door for a moment, which read an embroidered C7, and then you fiddled with your keys to unlock it.

You had a lot of work to do.

§§§

By the end of the fourth day, mostly all of your things were put away. You didn’t think you had much to begin with, but unpacking made you realize that you had more than you thought. So with your ambitious mind, you got everything done on your own, even the decorations that you had at your last appointment were on the walls.

By the seventh day, it was starting to feel like home again. And that called for a celebration. You got your purse and your car keys, your mind already in the shopping mall.

As you stepped out of your door, the door directly across from yours opened too. You didn’t pay them much mind besides flashing a smile and turning around to lock your own door, not even looking at whoever it was properly enough to see them. But when you did, you definitely did.

A man with long, brown hair and clear blue eyes was staring at you like a deer in the headlights, and you would have thought that he mistook you for a celebrity if it weren’t for the wrinkle of confusion on his forehead. The first thought that came to your mind was that he was as stiff as a board, and that it was almost comical. The second thought that came to your mind was that this man was very handsome, despite the way that he was looking at you like you had just said the dumbest thing known to man.

“Um, hello,” you said, not even having to be loud because you were just a few feet apart. You were tempted to be a smartass and say something rude about his incessant staring, but instead, you reminded yourself that you were going to have to deal with the consequences of your smart remark later on. Humiliation and awkwardness every time you saw him was not what you wanted. “Have a good day.”

You turned to your left and walked down the stairs, thankful that you lived on the edge of the hall and could just run down some steps to get away from whatever that “encounter” was.

§§§

The mall was utterly packed, but that didn’t matter to you at all. You were there to browse for something that was going to make you even happier after your move, and a few people in line weren’t going to bother you. You went in and out of clothing stores, buying a few things here and there, and then on your way out, you passed by a bookstore.

You liked books, you really did. But you were avoiding that store like the plague. For you to go into a bookstore with so many options available, you knew that the safest route for your budget was to know what you were getting from the second you walked in. You stood in front of it for a second, debating on going in without looking online beforehand or just coming back another day. Your own feet answered the question for you, and then you were entering the huge book store.

The shelves were high and wide and sturdy, dark brown and creating isles. Fantasy, Young Adult, Spiritual, Languages. The genres went as far as you could see. And that meant that if you weren’t wise, you could be buying a book from every aisle.

You counted the number of shelves, seeing that there were almost thirty as far as you knew, and then took out the two dice that you took with you everywhere, for reasons like this. You were indecisive, and two little cubes with black dots on them were as sure as it could get. They were your Decision Dice. They had never steered you wrong before, and today wouldn’t be the day. You were going to roll twice, and if the sum was a number less than ten, then you would multiply it by two, which was your lucky number. You liked to make things difficult.

You saw a woman staring at you with cautious eyes as you bent down and shook your closed hand, and you heard her chuckle when she saw the two little cubes roll out of your palm.

“Four,” you murmured once you saw three dots on one and one on the other. You picked them up and shook your hand again. “Three. That makes seven, and seven times two makes aisle fourteen.” You picked up the dice (that you would never admit came from your grandpa’s set of Yahtzee) and walked past the still laughing woman in the science fiction aisle.

Of course, aisle fourteen was the aisle that you probably had the least business in. Romance. You almost walked away and went for the fifteenth instead, but then what would the point in rolling be? What would stop you from denying the Decision Dice in later situations? You sighed for a second after your own dramatics and looked the shelves up and down, trying to find a title that grabbed you.

You walked up and down the aisle, slowly combing through until you saw a book on the bottom shelf by some Jack Pendleton. You frowned. It wasn’t often that you saw men’s names in the romance section, and when you did, you hardly liked what they wrote. The love interest was always flat or too out there to be believable. The female love interest in men’s books always had to be “not like other girls”, and it was worn out. For some reason, you reached down for it anyway, ready to see what you had already seen a million times before.

What you really ended up seeing shocked you.

It was about a man who served in the army oversees and came back an amputee, and became locked in a love triangle between his physical therapist and his best friend, all the while dealing with his sexuality.

That was a lot of man versus self. You wanted it.

You stood up and without second thought walked to the counter, handing the cashier the book and getting out your credit card.

§§§

You cracked open the book the second you threw your fast food trash away in your trash can. You made yourself comfortable on your little couch and put some light music on in the background, just so that it wouldn’t be completely silent. You didn’t do well with silence at all.

It took all of four pages for Jack Pendleton to surprise you again. His writing style was gorgeous and smooth, and you cold tell that he meant every word that was printed on the pages. His diction was brilliant, his descriptions even better. He didn’t give too much or too little, and you were already falling in love with it.

The main character, Elijah, was likeable but flawed. Within the first thirty pages, you could already sense that he was gaining feelings that he didn’t even know about for his best friend, Will, who wasn’t named until about forty pages at Elijah’ first physical therapy appointment. Will hadn’t even shown up yet.

You had blown through nearly half the book when you realized that it was eleven at night, and that you had work the next morning. You swore to yourself and put a smaller piece of paper in your book this time, looking at it longingly and patting it on the spine before leaving it on the small coffee table.

§§§

Work was horrible. It was boring, and you spent the whole first part of your day with a man who was mad at you specifically because you ran out of a special type of shoe that he needed to wear the next day. The store that you worked at wasn’t even really a shoe store. Then, he asked to see the manager. You were the shift manager. He got so pissed that he threw a hanger at you and stormed out, and all you could do was laugh.

You were so tired of retail, it wasn’t even funny.

You were a little more than a hundred and twenty pages in when there was a knock on your door, and it came right as you were about t flip the page. You resisted the urge to scream, completely and utterly fed up with the public for the day. There was no use in trying to ignore the knocking that already yanked your mind out of the fictional world, and so you left the book on your couch, sticking a piece of paper in it quickly to save your page.

You swung the door open, expecting to find someone who wanted you to fill out a survey or maybe even someone from maintenance making sure that everything was okay with your apartment. You certainly didn’t expect to see your beautiful neighbor with a pie in his gloved hands and a pink flush on his face.

He spoke first. “Hi, I live across the floor,” he pointed towards the door that you knew he lived behind. “I was just coming to bring you a welcoming gift.”

You were stunned. The man who stared you down and didn’t even say a word to you was at your door with what looked like a homemade pie, and wow, was that a turn of events. It was something straight out of that cheesy romance section that you were in at the bookstore. “Wow, thank you. You made that?”

The pink on his cheeks graduated to scarlet. “I-yeah, I did.”

You couldn’t contain the grin that stretched onto your face. “That’s really kind of you, thank you. I’m sure I’ll love it.” You gently took it from his hands and smiled up at him.

“It’s also an apology, for staring at you like that when you were leaving.” You noticed his subtle accent and fought the urge to swoon. He was so adorably shy. “No one’s lived in this one for years, and I didn’t notice you moving in. Kinda scared me.”

“You didn’t see the moving truck?” You asked teasingly.

You saw the small grimace on his face, and your smile faltered. “I don’t really go outside much,” he said vaguely, and you felt that you hit a nerve.

You shrugged with the pie still in your hands, lips turning upwards at him. “It’s okay, I don’t, either.”

You were both smiling now.

“Well, um,” he started to say, and you nodded your head at him, already knowing that he was about to go. “I have to finish something. I’ll see you later?”

“There’s a pretty good chance that you will,” you said, and he gave an awkward wave before turning around and walking away, right into his apartment without another look back. You cursed softly when he shut his door, and you looked down at the pie.

You didn’t even get his name.

§§§

You realized after five days of nothing (and cleaning out the pan of delicious pie by yourself) that you weren’t going to see your neighbor by chance. You hoped that you would, more than you hoped for anything else before. But he was right. He didn’t go outside much. The doors in the building were all so loud that it was nearly impossible not to hear them opening or shutting, and you never heard his once.

You had to do it yourself. Somehow, you needed to figure out how to see him again without it being incredibly weird, but you had a plan. In your eyes, it was pretty foolproof. Your mom’s chicken parmesan could never go wrong, and everyone liked to eat. You went to the grocery store without even having to roll the Decision Dice and got started on it the second you got home.

***

When it was done, there was a thin line of sweat on your forehead. You put a note to yourself in your head that the kitchen got insanely hot when you cooked, and you vowed to remember it next time. You took off your fancy apron and the chef’s hat that you wore for fun when you cooked and set it on the countertop. Now, the hard part came.

How were you supposed to get brave enough to bring a plate over to his place? Were you supposed to hope that he hadn’t eaten yet? Or, were you supposed to let him in to eat? Shit, that sounded too much like a date.

With all those thoughts in mind, you walked up to his door, C6, and knocked on it. You realized last minute that you forgot the plate on the table, so dinner was over at your apartment by default unless you did an awkward dash across the hall. The sound of boots coming towards the door were loud and clear, and then the door opened, barely giving you enough time to swallow your anxieties. You got a panging irrational fear that he wouldn’t remember you, but were relieved when he smiled down at you.

“Hi,” you said, sounding more like a telemarketer than a neighbor. “I made chicken parmesan.” It was silent for a few seconds as you both tried to make sense of what was happening, and you kicked yourself on the inside. “I made a plate for you because um, I wanted to thank you for the pie. It was really good.”

His face lit up, and it was like you were given a new burst of life and hope simultaneously. “Oh, thank you! That’s really sweet, thank you,” he repeated, his words getting slightly jumbled up the more and more he spoke. He was so cute.

You realized that the both of you were just staring at each other, standing with smiles that were increasingly leaning towards more than polite by the second. “I can, uh, bring it to your door if you want.”

“I can come over, if that makes it easier.” Both sentences were spoken at the same time, and it caused you both to apologize once again at the same time. “No, no, I’ll come back with you,” he said when you two finally spoke your own sentences.

You tilted your head. You were sure that he was shy, you could have bet money on him wanting to eat alone. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he gave you a small smile and stepped out of his apartment, and suddenly, you were aware of how he smelled like a bakery. Flower, sugar, apples, cinnamon, the whole nine. Your eyes widened when you smelled more of it when he shut his door. It smelled amazing. You didn’t want to be greedy, but whatever he had in there, you wanted a slice.

Your apartment smelled good, but in the opposite way. It smelled like sauce and spices and chicken, like a good kitchen. You almost laughed when you saw his eyes widen after he caught a whiff. His eyes scanned the table that was already set up for one, and he saw all the food in the middle and only grew more surprised.

“You did all of this yourself?”

You didn’t think it was a big deal. You knew how to plate food and you knew how to cook it fine, but it wasn’t too special, in your opinion. It was second nature because of your mother, but you could always go for a nice compliment. “Yeah, I have fun cooking.”

“It looks amazing,” he said softly, and you smiled at him.

“Let’s hope it tastes as good.”

It felt oddly domestic. You got his plate for him and watched him make his first because he was the guest, and you warned him about touching the hot pan, even though he didn’t seem worried about it with his gloves on. You asked him if he wanted wine, water, or soda, and he got his own glass of water after saying that he felt bad making you do it. By the time you sat down and started twirling your fork in your spaghetti, you were starving.

You heard him take his first bite more than you saw him do it. “Holy-” he put his hand in front of his mouth. “You made this here?”

You laughed. “Mhm.”

“Are you a chef, or something?”

You were flattered. “No, but my mother is,” and man, was she a cook. She could cook anything and make it taste good if you gave her a flame. Always, she had pressured you into knowing how to make a meal, because making a meal meant providing for yourself and everyone else in your family. You watched him cut into a piece of chicken and put it in his mouth, smiling when he gave you the “food look”. “She taught me everything I know.”

“Well, I’m about to call her and thank her,” he joked, and you giggled, twirling your own fork and getting some spaghetti in your mouth. You tilted your head. It was pretty good.

“And what about you? You can bake,” and there he was, all shy again, and you loved it. “Where did you learn?”

“My father’s a baker,” he said, and a slow smile spread across your face.

“Well, would you look at that,” you said, nodding your head in thought. He smiled back.

“Would you look at that.”

For a second, just like the two of you had done many times before, you were stuck in a world where there wasn’t anything else, not even the food. It was just his smile and yours, and the fact that somehow both of you knew that the moment was genuine.

“I’m so sorry, what’s your name?” He blurted, and you frowned.

“My name?” A flame of embarrassment and shame shot through you. You were fawning over a man that you didn’t even know the name of yet. You sister would be disgusted with you. “Oh, have we really not said our names yet?”

“I guess not...” he said, voice trailing off at the end.

“Well, good thing names aren’t that important.”

He gave you an intrigued look. “Names aren’t important?”

“They can be, but sometimes they don’t mean a thing. You can learn so much about someone before learning their name, and when you do, nothing changes what you already know. I cook and I like spending money in book stores, and you bake and stay inside. That doesn’t change after we learn names.”

He looked like he had just reached cloud nine. “You like books?”

“Of course I do,” you said, and your eyes trailed over to the book that was sitting on your couch. “I actually took that little name bit from what I learned from a book, so I won’t take credit for that.”

“What book was so in depth and interested with names?”

“I don’t even think that the main focus was the name, I think it was the opposite. His name didn’t matter because all that mattered were the emotions that came with him.” You took a second to think. “And I also think that saying his name made it real for the main character, so the dude’s name didn’t come up until he was in mid conversation.”

At first, you were worried that you lost him. But you hadn’t. “He was in love with this person?”

“Madly. But he was his best friend.” You were so excited. You were really talking to a man who liked to read? And one who liked to analyze what he read? This must have been heaven. “For a while, all we hear about is how amazing the person is that he fell in love with and about how he struggled with loving him because he was a man. We knew everything about him before his name was even said and before he was even present, and that’s probably what I like most so far about the book.”

Through your rambling, you failed to notice that he was looking more and more panicked. “Um, what’s the book called?”

“Here, I’ll just go get it,” you said, standing up and walking over to your couch, pulling it off and walking over to him. You set the book down, and watched his eyes grow so wide that he looked cartoonish. “Have you read it?”

He blinked at the cover. “Y-yeah, I’ve read it.” He looked at his watch, swore so emptily that you swore it was acting, and then gave you an apologetic look. “Um, I have to go. I’m sorry.”

So, you did scare him off. You hid your frown with a polite smile, and tried to remind yourself that even though it felt like one, it wasn’t a date. It was you paying him back for making you something in his own kitchen. “Oh, alright. I hope you liked it.”

Maybe he heard something in your voice that you didn’t, because he stopped frantically putting his jacket on to look you in the eyes. “It was amazing, I mean that. And it was very sweet, thank you.”

This is crashing and burning. What the hell happened? It was going so well! “Well, I’ll see you later,” you called out, and you watched him wash his own plate with a shocked look on your face. “Thanks,” you whispered, and he nodded at you, a tight smile on his face as he wrapped a gloved hand around the doorknob and left.

***

Maybe you hadn’t scared him away, after all.

You had full intentions of leaving him alone until he came to you, if it was ever even going to happen. You only left for work and debated on finding something simple to bake for him to extend another olive branch, but then you decided that you would let the universe control what happened, if anything was even meant to happen in the first place. There was a knock on your door, and there he was, with a pan of cupcakes that had blue icing perfectly swirled on top.

Alright, so you hadn’t.

He gave you the cutest smile, and you couldn’t help but to give one back. “Hi, I’m Bucky.” You gave him your name, too.

From then on, you two were practically attached at the hip. If you weren’t at work, he was over with you, watching a movie and talking about foreshadowing or how good the book version would have been if it came first. He was also one of the only people you knew who had actually read Tarzan, and you got a kick out of it. You got so close that you even met his little quartet of friends, Steve, Natasha, and Sam, who all liked you after the first meeting. You fit in with them like a glove.

Speaking of... “Why do you wear gloves?” You had asked him one day, and he stiffened up like a board.

“I get cold easily on my hands,” he explained coolly, and you let it go.

There were little things about him that you questioned every time after he went back home. You questioned how he never left his apartment but made enough money to keep it. You asked yourself how he was so busy in there, and what exactly he did. You wondered why he got so funny when you mentioned the book, and how nervous he was to talk about it when you finally finished it. All of those things slightly worried you, but they had nothing on the one, huge thought that loomed over all the others.

You were falling hard and fast for Bucky Barnes. A part of you could admit that you were already on the ground.

If started off slowly. You admired his mind and his smile and the way that his eyes shined when he taught you how to bake a perfect cake without all the fancy, expensive supplies. You loved the way that his cheeks glowed when you complimented him or touched his hair or his nose. You loved that he started calling you “darling” and the way that his Brooklyn accent left out the last letter. You loved the way that things with him already felt so natural, like you cooking dinner and him helping you wash and dry dishes after. You were in for the long haul before you could even reach for the door handle of the speeding car, and you didn’t really want to.

There was a knock on your door out of courtesy, and you called out for him to let himself in. You were way past knocking, but he was polite. You were tapping away at the keys on your laptop, humming to yourself as you looked into Jack Pendleton.

“Watcha doin’, darlin’?” He set down the items you two needed for homemade lasagna and his father’s recipe for some simple pumpkin bread on the counter.

“I’m trying to find more books by Jack Pendleton,” you muttered, sighing when nothing else came up. “I can’t find anything.”

“Why do you like that book so much, anyway?” You were far too into your laptop to hear the tremor in his voice.

“Because it was raw, and real, and it hurt my feelings.”

Oh, and it had. Bucky witnessed the result of you finishing the book first hand. He walked in right as you got the first sob out and looked like he wanted to sink into the floor, but he came to you anyway. How were you supposed to know that the therapist, an equally important person in the main character’s life, was going to pass away not even days after he and Will got their happiness?

You remembered how he held you the whole time, and that for some reason, he whispered a very heartfelt, “I’m sorry.”

“If it hurt you so much, why would you want to read something by him again?”

“It was brilliant, that’s why, cowboy.” You said, looking up and pointing at him with your fancy little stylus. He broke out into a smile at the name, like he always did. You called him that one time because you caught him watching The Longest Ride, and it stuck.

There was a stretched, tense moment as the sound of your typing filled the room. “I don’t think he has anything else out right now, darlin’.”

“And how would you know, rancher?”

He gave you that same deer in headlights stare that he gave you when he first saw you in the hall, only less confused. Then he sighed. “What’s in a name, anyway?”

You rolled your eyes, but you both knew that you were on the edge of laughing. You could never be serious with him. He was just so full of light. “You’re not going to get me quoting Shakespeare right now, I just asked you a dire question.”

He inhaled deeply, his face already boasting a rich scarlet. “How would you feel if I told you that I wrote that book?”

Your world crumbled beneath your feet. You knew he wasn’t lying, because you knew that he had no reason to lie. His aversion to talking about Jack Pendleton and everything surrounding it made you believe what he told you right as you heard it. You gasped, and then saw him grimace. “Bucky, Jack stole your work?”

His face fell. “What?”

“Have you taken legal action yet?”

“No,” he said slowly, and then he took in another deep breath, preparing from something. “I don’t need to, because I am Jack.” He said slowly, a small and guarded smile resting on his face. You noticed that he looked the least comfortable you had ever seen him. “It’s a pen name.”

Different kinds of humiliation were coming in large, mean waves, and you bit your lip to prevent from talking. You had really gushed over a book right in front of the author the whole time? It was so horrible and embarrassing that you couldn’t even stop thinking about it. You felt like an idiot. “Why didn’t you tell me to stop talking?”

There was a quick, hesitant intake of breath between the both of you. “Because I don’t want anyone that I know in real life to know about that.”

You froze. There was no way that he was implying that what was in the book actually happened, right?

He took off both of his gloves, and beneath one of them was a silver appendage, very clearly a prosthetic. He was breathing heavily, like he had just lifted a weight off of his chest that was double his own size. You looked at it with a wild expression of your own, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“Almost everything in that book really happened.” You closed your mouth. “Some things are exaggerated, but nearly everything happened. Elijah is based off of me.”

Oh, fuck. That meant that he was actually bisexual, that he actually fell in love with his best friend, that he actually got his arm amputated after getting a grenade launched at him. His therapist actually died. You had no idea what to say. “I’m so sorry.”

“The main thing that didn’t really happen was the semi-happy ending for Elijah and Will. He and I broke up years ago. This all happened years ago.” Your heart broke again for him. “I put it under a fake name because it’s something very personal to me, but I felt like it should have been shared. Thought that it would maybe help some other kid who was going through it.”

You knew exactly what it was. You had gone through it yourself. If you had read the book when you were much younger, you were sure that you would have been able to find some sort of peace in the turmoil that you caused yourself. Now, you were much better, and you loved the fact that you were part of the LGBT community, but that didn’t mean that the book didn’t mean something to you.

The book was so raw that you should have known that it was real. There wasn’t a word that didn’t mean something, not a sentence that wasn’t thought out. It was such heavy material with realistic ups and down that you caught yourself relating with Elijah, not knowing that the real “Elijah” was right in front of you the whole time.

“But, um, I write science fiction under my real name, though.” You were too busy thinking about how you gushed about someone’s actual life story, and how that someone just so happened to be your super cute neighbor that you fell in love with. You gushed about his terribly sad life story right in front of him. “That’s why I’m always inside. I’m a hermit writer.”

You didn’t even get into the science fiction aspect of the conversation. “I would have never read it in front of you or talked about it in front of you if I knew that, I swear.”

“I know.�� He slowly took his jacket off, and then you were seeing his arms in all their glory. It truly was a beautiful prosthetic, and from how much he used his hands, you knew that it was reliable and practical. “I just needed to tell you that.”

You could sense his unease, and it made you feel wrong. It felt like you were taking steps back. “If this is about you being bisexual, I don’t care about that. That would never bother me.”

For the first time since his confession, there was a ghost of a smile on his face. “I know. And I know you are, too.”

“Really?”

“I’ve seen the bookshelf in your room. No straight person reads that many books written by and for the community. And you cuff some of your jeans.” You shrugged, a small smirk on your face. He got you there. “I need to tell you something else.”

You didn’t know if you were ready for it, but if he was, then there was no way that you were going to stop him. “Of course, go ahead.”

“First, I should start off with telling you again that all of that,” he pointed towards her computer, “was about eleven years ago. I’m not healing, not recovering, none of that. Yeah, I’m sad about my therapist every once in a while, but I don’t feel anything for the man that Will is based off of anymore. That’s all gone.”

You swore at yourself for feeling butterflies of hope. You squashed them all down and made yourself pay full attention to Bucky, even though your mind was starting to have stupid little fantasies about picnic and stargazing with him. This is what you got for reading romance novels. “Okay, Buck.”

“I’m telling you all of this because I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with you.” Your mouth hung open, and before you could even get a word out, he was all over it again. “I have been for a while now, and I think now is the best time to tell you.” There was a pause for you to cut in, but you couldn’t form a word. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way or if you’re weirded out by my story-”

“I love you too.” You blurted, watching his face become shocked. “I’ve been dying to tell you that, you know?”

He sputtered, trying his hardest to form a coherent sentence. “Now I know.”

You felt a smile slide onto your face as both of your racing hearts stilled to a normal, content rate. In that moment, you swore that if someone came and checked, that your heartbeats were alternating, taking energy from each other to make one long beat. You just, clicked.

“It- none of that bothers you at all?”

“If anything, I feel bad. I feel like I intruded.”

He scoffed. “You didn’t intrude, Y/N, I’m the one who published it.”

“I’m going to hug you now,” you warned, and then you two met each other half way. Your face was in his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. You smiled when you felt him gently brush your forehead with his lips, and all felt right.

You stood there together for what felt like forever but two seconds all the same, swaying a bit subconsciously. “Are you- are you sure about being okay with all of this? I know it’s a lot. And I just kind of sprung it on you.”

There he was. The shy Bucky. You knew that he could be insecure, and you knew that he was insecure about being that way. But luckily, you felt for him so much that you could assure him for the rest of both of your days with no complaints. If it took a thousand times a day for Bucky Barnes to know that you loved him and Jack Pendleton and Elijah Harris, you would do it two thousand times.

“Out of all the books in the store, I unknowingly chose yours.” Your voice was shaky, but you meant every word you said and were about to say. “And out of all the people in the world, I intentionally, without doubt choose you.”

***

If someone had asked you three years ago where you thought you were going to be in life in the same amount of time, you would have told them that you were probably still going to be working in retail. That wasn’t the case at all.

Your mother gave you a loan when Bucky persuaded you to take your talent and passion for cooking and turn it into a business. You had a medium sized restaurant that you let your mother in on, and you cooked side by side often times. It felt just like it did when you were back in the kitchen of your childhood home, but now you were getting paid for it, quite a bit.

Across the street from your restaurant was a bookstore that held a number of books that were written by Bucky yourself, but your favorite by far was the cook book that was technically a baking book, full of all of the recipes that he felt like giving away.

You didn’t expect any of that to happen within three years, at all. But what you hoped to happen most of all did, and it was proven by the simple diamond on your finger that Bucky had given you. You wanted him to think that you were surprised when he popped the question, but you weren’t.

After all, you could see the outline of the box that he carried for three weeks straight.

#bucky barnes #bucky fluff #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #my fics #bucky one shot

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