not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

This was before Roe v Wade in a blue state. I was going to have a surgery for the first time ever. I was nervous. They tell you to not to eat or drink anything so I followed the instructions. I get to the hospital. I asked the nurse if I was allowed to pee. She said yes so I pee. My time comes they get me into prep. I change, get an iv, etc. The anesthesiologist asks me to pee in a cup. But I just peed and i have not been drinking anything for 12 hours. So I can’t. They tell me to wait with the iv until I can pee into the cup. I wait for hours. I am really nervous at this point so pee is just not coming. I finally ask what it is for. They tell me it’s a pregnancy test. I go “Phew, ok that’s great. We don’t need it. I am not pregnant.” The anesthesiologist says I still have to pee. I try to explain I AM NOT PREGNANT. We still wait for a while. Finally, I had enough. I have been there half a day just waiting for a test I KNOW THE RESULT FOR. I ask “Is this mandatory?” Honestly, at this point I am thinking there is no way this is not mandatory. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY MAKE ME WAIT HALF A DAY?!?! The anesthesiologist says “It is required by law in some states”. Seems like weird wording so I ask “Yeah, but is it legally required in this state?” HE SAYS NO. I am very upset at this point. I don’t remember if they made me sign anything because I am so upset. I finally get the surgery without the test. And I woke up much later than I was supposed to. They had trouble waking me up. The nurse makes a comment about me being “hysterical” before the surgery so getting too high an amount of anesthetics. I will never get over this story. I will repeat it till the day I die. I was almost 30 when I had this surgery. They still did not believe me and then overdosed me.

TLDR: - Always asks what tests are for.

- Always ask if they are legally required in YOUR state.

- Also look up your rights beforehand anyways just to be safe

hey people living in the USA: if you don’t intend to give birth if you end up pregnant, and your doctor wants you to give a urine or blood sample for any reason, especially before you receive a procedure or surgery, you can refuse to allow them to perform a pregnancy test. say that there’s no possible way you could be pregnant and insist on being given a waiver to sign instead. if you are found to be pregnant by a medical professional it will end up in your medical record and could expose you to risk of being prosecuted for terminating your pregnancy.

the 17 year old’s mother recently charged in nebraska for a self induced abortion is being prosecuted for performing one after the 20 week time limit permitted by nebraska state law because police were able to access her daughter’s medical records to prove that she was pregnant and how many weeks along she was

obviously don’t talk on social media about your unwanted pregnancy or plans to get rid of it but you cannot let doctors in restricted states know either

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Random Thought about Privilege

White privilege is the privilege to be fucked up because of your own life (e.g. parents, middle school bullies, terrible experiences...).

What has fucked me up beside my own life is:

- the weight of every hate crime. the constant worry about what do I have to do and who do I have to become to avoid that.

- the trauma that has transferred from generation to generation. the utter sadness that such horrible things happened in the past and the guilty relief that I feel that I was born now and not back then.

- having to deal with centuries old racism/ethnicism

PS. I use “white” as a blanket term here. I think this applies to any kind of majority-disenfranchised minority situation.

PPS. We all deserve so much therapy. All of us, including people who are fucked up only because of their lives.

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

I got curious so I looked it up. This is from Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

I was just talking with a friend about how by dictating what “beautiful” should be, our culture limits out ability to see the beauty in the world. There is nothing inherently ugly about things our culture does not consider “beautiful”. We were talking about how awful it was that our culture was actively making our perceptions of the world ugly by blinding us to so much beauty. And I was thinking is this might be about control or power. No, Mr. Haig is right. It is about money. Our culture is set up in such a way that people profit from us not seeing the beauty in the world. And that is just sad.

I chose to wake up every morning to see the true beauty in the world and to shed the power our culture has on my perception a little bit each day.

I see you and to me you are beautiful. Do not let money hungry evil corporations or our corrupted culture make you think otherwise! Let this be our revolution.

I never went to a Mary-Kay party that didn’t make me feel ugly.

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

1) Never forget.

2) This officer got a lot of hate. I feel that such hate is misplaced. He is not the first or the last officer to treat peaceful protestors violently. This hatred should be directed towards the police culture we currently have that allowed him to think that he could get away with what he did. Unfortunately and scarily, the problem we have is much bigger than this single officer. This officer should pay for this actions but we cannot stop there. The whole police culture should start paying for its sins. AND IT NEEDS TO CHANGE.

3) I find UC Davis’ reaction appalling. AND a waste of money. Hey UC Davis, hire me! I will tell you how you turn this around. You become a beacon for free speech and peaceful protest. You atone for what happened and then take a thousand steps forward by fighting against such things to happen in the future. Nothing short of that will cleanse your reputation or your soul. Does not change matters to get rid of a single person who was in charge. Again like the previous point, this event did not happen because of a single person. Just allowing that person to call the police for a peaceful protest demonstrates that the problem here is systemic. People are aware of this. Your reputation will remain in shit as long as you keep acting this way.

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Ok, I saw people mentioning to be safe on pirating websites within the comments. Yeah, that’s true. My general outlook is that everyone is constantly trying to steal your personal information including google and facebook. For normal tracking issues, I use firefox, duckduckgo, ad blockers and try to be overall careful about the websites I use. I’m pretty sure I am not careful enough... Anyways, I would not know how to be especially safe on the pirating websites, though. Any info on that would be appreciated.

I did want to comment on the issue of publishing. Most research is funded publicly. The researchers have their salaries and on top of that get public grants for research. When they apply to journals to be published journals send their articles to reviewers. These reviewers are other research who are doing this kind of for free (I guess technically this is covered in their salary because universities expect their professors to be reviewers). So the only thing the journal does is possibly actually publishing it on paper. Which was important back in the day because how would it be dispersed otherwise. But it is certainly not relevant anymore. I understand their need for payment to a certain degree since there are employees there I guess. But this whole system seems plain out corrupt to me. Research is publicly funded. Reviewers work for free. How do you justify the gate keeping of science in this case??

Back to the issue at hand...

Not everything is on sci-hub (yet*)

So some other tips for finding an article:

- Try Google Scholar

- Google the title of the article with quotes. It might be on a random website like the researcher’s personal website

- Google the journal. Some journals are not on Google scholar but have the articles free on their websites.

- Check out your library website. Some libraries have a lot of subscriptions to journals. On a related note, ask your friends to check out their libraries for you. Back in the day I would ask my facebook friends to see if an article was in their libraries. It worked almost every time.

Also, when I say “google it” I mean use your preferred search engine. Oops, I forgot Google does not want us to use “googling something” to mean “look it up on internet”. Shoot, my bad.

This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

These are so beautiful especially for those who cannot show pride without fear due to people in their lives and/or circumstances they are in...

i made (subtle) pride flag lock screens!!

lesbian // bisexual

trans // gay

free to use, please reblog if u save!

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

The older I get, the more I realize I did not use to understand what feminism was

Here is the thing. I have always supported equality above all. Even when I didn't understand people, I stood strong that they have the right to choose their own lives and still be my equal.

But I am ashamed to admit that at a certain level I felt superior to some people. As a woman who has decided her life to academic and to fighting the system, I used to think that I was better than certain types of woman. I do not even know when I started realizing how wrong I was. I guess it was so gradual that I cannot pinpoint a specific point of time.

One type of woman I looked down upon was the ones whose goal in life was to get married. No other ambitions. Not really other hobbies. This is not a weird generalization, it is based on people I know. I thought women who had other ambitions and also wanted to get married were fine but those with no other ambitions... Those were sad. I cannot believe it took me this long to realize that not everyone is the same. Some people want to be good at a job, some at a hobby and some at raising a family. AND THAT IS FINE. I am not sure why I ever thought thought that it was not. Maybe it was related to the influence of the patriarchical culture we live in. The only women who are deemed valuable are the ones who possess various "manly" attributes like caring about a job more than a family. Maybe it was because that was the default option I have always felt getting shoved down my throat and I thought that these women were the epitome of embracing the system. In any case, feminisim means women has a right to chose whatever the frak they want for themselves and that is beautiful. All choices are beautiful.

A second type of woman I looked down upon was the "gold digger". In movies we have seen very exaggerated versions of these women but in my life I have seen many examples of regular women doing this. These women I have only made my peace with very recently. Maybe it was the fact that with their high IQ and high emotional intelligence I have always thought they could have accomplished so many important things. But I have finally understood that these women are frakking survivers. The current system we live in (at least in the barely developing country I am from) is absolutly against women. We get paid less. We get less number of opportunities. The media culture is based on making us feel bad so that we spent more time, energy AND money on things they deem importnat. These women made very different choices than I have BUT they worked towards living a better life than the system would have ever given them. And I have come to stan these women. They cheated the system. Good for them.

I have fought the sytem as far as I can remember. I used to think I was better than the women who either went along with the system or cheated the system. I thought there was a noble way of action. But you know what I realized, as long as you are not hurting people who the frak am I to judge you. The only thing I judge is the system with its hierarchy and categorical way of thinking. I realized that if I really want to fight the system, I need reject their ways of thinking and embrace the true meaning of equality behind feminism.

I have read Audre Lorde's quote "For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house." for the first time almost four years ago. I think I am finally starting to understand what she might have meant in that speech. 

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

BCC’s Sherlock is actually 2 different shows

I have been so confused about how so many people can see one show when they watch Sherlock (a show about a detective who is in love with Irene/Molly and has a best friend named John) while so many others sees another show (a show about a detective who is in love with his best friend John). Are we all not watching the same show. Is this about wish fulfillment? I have finally realized the reason. This is about people’s fundamental beliefs about LGBTQIA+ rights and issues, more particularly how people digest queer coding.

I believe Sherlock is queer coded. I think Moffat did so in order to establish Sherlock as quirky, just a tad evil and maybe even a bit neuroatypical. I think one group of people saw a queer-coded Sherlock and took in his character just as Moffat intended: a straight guy (isn’t that the default setting?) who is quirky, just a tad evil and maybe even a bit neuroatypical. Another group saw Sherlock and took his queer coding at face value and thought that Sherlock is gay. And here emanates the two different viewing experiences of the Sherlock fandom. 

I have a friend who would argue with me about this. She would say that I was drawing strict lines about what is to be a man and to be masculine. She would argue that it is refreshing that Sherlock can be read as a straight character who is a bit feminine. I have 2 big issues for this argument. (1) Sherlock does not just happen to be effeminate. His queer coding serves a purpose. It is basically a plot device. If Greg was effeminate that would be fine. But Sherlock is queer coded in order to establish him as “extraordinary” and therefore it is not okay. Because being effeminate should not mean that one is not ordinary. (2) All the gay jokes!! LGBTQIA+ people are still disenfranchised. One cannot turn “being gay” or “being effeminate” into a joke, especially if this joke is being made by non-LGBTQIA+ people. If Sherlock was actually gay, most of the jokes in the show would be not about “being gay” but about making fun of the “straight is default” mindset of the general public. Therefore, the reading of Sherlock is an effeminate straight man means that there are numerous toxic jokes about LGBTQIA+ people and that is simply not okay.

Here is one of the best definitions I found for queer coding thanks to @theroguefeminist:

https://theroguefeminist.tumblr.com/post/56658099133/queer-codedqueer-coding

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

A Different Version of Season 4 of Sherlock

Hi y’all. The canon S4 of Sherlock was so bad for me that it ruined everything that came before. I have not been able to watch any Sherlock since S4 came out. And I missed watching my boys so I decided to reject the canon S4 and create a new S4 out of the existing footage. The result is not my ideal S4. There are so many lovely fix-it fics that do my boys more justice. BUT I am quite happy with the results. I am even planning on doing a Sherlock marathon soon. Anyways, I wanted to share this on here in case other people wanted a different version of S4. There are 2 episodes. A 30 min one and an hour long one. I see the 30 min one as the appetizer. It sets up story details for the next episode (which is the important one in my eyes). I was gonna do a single episode but that meant too much was happening in a single episode and there was more existing footage I could use so I made the little one as well. Plus my boys look so dashing in S4! 

Episode 1

https://vimeo.com/337605049

Episode 2

Part 1: https://vimeo.com/338123784

Part 2: https://vimeo.com/338480988

The password for all the videos is: tjlc

@fellshish @johnlockshire @asherlockstudy @free-martinis @inevitably-johnlocked @theconsultinglinguist @sherlock-overflow-error  

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

I don’t like Cinderella. Actually, most Disney princesses at this point in my life. I do agree with most of what OP said but to me @andykarlsnemesis makes an excellent point.

I feel really strongly about this and some might say too much. But being from a third world country this is what I see around me. I constantly see women being beat down by their situations. So many of my female friends are stuck in a situation that is not good for them. I think I would be more okay with Cinderella if this was a girl biding her time for a chance at a better future, gets help from the fairy godmother and seizes that chance. But that’s not really the perspective of her in most adaptations. And I do hate that her chance at a better life is marrying a prince. Especially because that is what most women around me think. They think marrying a guy is their only option out of their bad situation. But you know what happens when women marry out of desperation, they end up in a new bad situation with a marriage they don’t want. (Even if the guy is nice. Because she may not be ready for a marriage. Because it turns out marriage is not for her. Because she might not want kids and that is not something a married woman “should” want. Because she might not be straight.)

I realize that this movie was not made for us. It was made for first worlders. But women’s rights are still an issue in the USA today. I am not going to say that all my American female friends are in situations as bad as my third worlder female friends; however, I can say that about half of my female American friends have been in really bad situations (sexual assault, abusive boyfriend, abusive husband and so on). No person should go through that. And no person should put up with that. Therefore, I do not believe in normalizing passively putting up with bad situations for females anywhere. 

Cinderella was too weak to fight for herself...AND THAT’S OKAY!

I cannot believe we’re still tearing Cinderella down! 2018 only has a few months left and we’re still doing this, we’re still painting her as the weakest Disney princess and we’re still painting her weakness as a bad thing?

Why?

Why are people so caught up on bashing this princess?

“The movie is so simplistic—”

In what way is it possibly simplistic?!

“She didn’t work hard—”

YES, SHE DID!

“Well, okay, but the fairy godmother still had to come in—”

Yep, I remember the movie too, and the countless stories on which it’s based.

“So the fairy godmother was the one who caused the happily ever after.”

She sure was, now, what’s your point?

No, really, what’s your point? Is the point that Cinderella is somehow weak because she wasn’t 100% in control of her own life? Seems like a pretty disgusting opinion to have when the whole movie is about an abuse victim finding a way out of her horrible situation. So Cinderella wasn’t the one who got herself out. So what? Instead of looking the movie at its bare surface, maybe try analyzing it with a bit more thought and tact. You might see something a little different. A magical transformation, if you will.

Because Cinderella did work hard.

And guess what we learned from that?

You can work

and work

and work

And there will still be people out there who will try to tear you apart:

Literally.

And that sucks. It’s a horrible lesson to learn but it is something we will all face in our lifetimes. There will always be people who will try to tear us down, there will always be people who will try to rip us apart, until we’re in a low place:

Until it seems like there’s no hope…

Until it seems like you’re too weak to get out on your own…

And maybe you are.

Maybe you are too weak to get out on your own. Maybe you’re not the strongest woman in the world. Maybe you’re not capable of screaming at the top of your lungs or brandishing a weapon or throwing a punch. Maybe you’re not able to get out of something on your own. Maybe you hit a low point and maybe you have no way out of it. Not alone. But that’s just it.

You’re not alone.

Even at your lowest point, someone will come help you.

You don’t have to do it all alone.

It’s okay to have a little help when you have nowhere else to turn.

Cinderella is the story about an abuse victim who is unable to get out of her toxic situation by herself and just when she begins to lose all hope, is able to get help from an unlikely source. It’s the story about a girl who needs help getting to her happily ever after and that’s okay. 

Give us advocates:

They deserve their happily ever afters!

Give us warriors:

They deserve their happily ever afters!

Give us fighters:

They deserve their happily ever afters!

Give us girls who are not advocates, girls who are not warriors, girls who are not fighters, girls who still deserves their happily ever afters:

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Just fyi, in some states the pregnancy tests are legally required but in others it is not. However, the doctors don’t tend to tell you this did bit but try to force your hand anyways. Ask about the law. Because in my experience they will not tell you willingly. I had a bad experience about this as well. At one point, it occurred to me to ask if this test was required by the law of the state we were in. The doctor had the audacity to tell me “Not here, no. But it is required in other states.” Wow, I still get upset over this experience.

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

added some more

all these women are the superheroes we need

ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

My history lessons in school focused on the rise and fall of various countries and a billion “important” treaties. I personally would rather have the history lessons in school to be about bigger concepts. For example, the rise and fall of certain government types, an overall history of religions, and the evolution of science/math. Most importantly, I wish the history lessons emphasized the power of few brave souls throughout history who stood against the darkness of their times in order to do the right thing. Brave souls like Mr and Mrs Sugihara, whom I have never heard until I read this post. Imagine teaching children to value the importance of human life and doing the right thing over what your government wants you to do. 

Chiune Sugihara. This man saved 6000 Jews. He was a Japanese diplomat in Lithuania. When the Nazis began rounding up Jews, Sugihara risked his life to start issuing unlawful travel visas to Jews. He hand-wrote them 18 hrs a day. The day his consulate closed and he had to evacuate, witnesses claim he was STILL writing visas and throwing from the train as he pulled away. He saved 6000 lives. The world didn’t know what he’d done until Israel honored him in 1985, the year before he died.

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

As someone aspiring to be in academia, I have to say that I love this. I think meta writing/reading is amazing. It is basically taking everyday things and looking at them from an academic point of view. It encourages methodological analyses of one’s world. It should be commended. 

I cannot for the life of me think of a single valid reason to put down anyone for wanting to think about things in an intelligent and diligent manner. It makes me very upset and angry when people put down meta writers/readers. 

The thing is academicians also study not-classically-academic things. Linguists dissect newspapers. Sociologists look into celebrity culture. Psychologists analyze tweets. How is writing meta so different from literary analysis?

Mainstream might not stand behind the intelligent, inquisitive and inspiring people who write and read meta BUT people in academia should. 

My article on Johnlock meta is out! You can check out my very first original post back in 2014 to see how meaningful and enriching meta and all of your ideas were to me. Who knew that my first Sherlock watch would lead me to pursue a whole new discipline to satisfy my intellectual and emotional curiosity.

To all meta-ists and fic writers, thank you. I can’t write fic, but I can analyze, so if you like this, I’m just as hungry for love as any other writer.

Thank you to so many whom I have talked to over the years, especially those who let me quote or feature them, including @marsdaydream @ivyblossom @inevitably-johnlocked @mild-lunacy @watsonshoneybee @heimishtheidealhusband @incurablylazydevil @love-in-mind-palace @yorkiepug and those who have since deleted or changed names.

There are so many to thank or to tag who may be interested….

@weeesi @librarylock @hudders-and-hiddles @cupidford @jenna221b @khorazir @loudest-subtext-in-tv @opnorbury @rominatrix @roadswewalk @the-7-percent-solution @tjlc @unreconstructedfangirl @vitruvianwatson @vanetti @wellthengameover @yellowmiche @heurtebizzz @hopelesslybenaddicted

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Everyone who knows me, knows that I have been so excited about the songs with LGBTQIA+ people/themes and POC at Eurovision this year. I have been talking about Ryan non-stop for weeks. Ireland came up at the semi-final (1st gif) and I was squealing like a dolphin. Then, he got on the stage started singing alone (2st gif). I was excited but my eyes were searching for my dancing smol beans. Then, we saw the piano with a female player and it kind of looked like they were singing for each other (3nd gif). My heart stopped. I thought “OMG Ireland chickened out. They thought they would lose points with a gay romance so they decided not to go with it. I cannot define the level of heartbreak I felt. Then. Then. Then. Then, my dancing smol beans got on stage (4th gif) and BOY WAS I WRONG! IRELAND ACTUALLY DID IT! THEY TOOK A STAND FOR LOVE AND HUMAN RIGHTS!!!! I started bawling and did not stop until the next song. And I missed the show because my eyes were too full of tears to see properly. At least I will get to see them at the finals!!!!!!!! If I can hold back my tears that is. (Also, the fact that they were announced last was too much stress on my poor heart. I think Eurovision is trying to kill me this year.)

Ryan O’Shaughnessy - Together - Ireland - LIVE - First Semi-Final - Eurovision 2018

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Racism/Ethnicism in the 3rd World

I wanted share my experiences because most people don’t know how people like me feel. The reason is we don’t hear much about these stories. How are people supposed to know what we go through if we don’t tell them? Anyways, here is my story.

I find out that I was less than others when I was ten years old. I was super into politics back then (even though my family was not). My grandmother’s favorite childhood story of mine is when a party I didn’t like won the elections that year, I cried all night long and no one could console me. (This party was later banned from politics by an international human rights court.) After that election, I decided that I was going to start my own party when I grow up and become the prime minister. I had already started working on a list of things to change/improve in my country. That is until my parents sat me down and told me that I could never become the prime minister because of my ethnicity. 

My initial reaction phase was to be the best citizen I could be. I was going to be such an ideal citizen that everyone was going to be in awe. I started to distance myself from our ethnicity’s religion and our ethnicities social circle. And I realize how foolish this stuff was but I was ten... I loved my country and I thought if people saw that, they would love me. 

The racism/ethnicism in my country is usually not in your face, especially for children. I had a good couple of years. Everything was fine. I found out how much hatred and anger the majority in my country had towards my ethnicity when I was 12. In history class, I classmate got up and started yelling at me and calling me names because of my ethnicity. I was in such a shock that I did not know what to do so I sat there and took it. The other students did not care enough to stop him. Most telling for me was that the teacher did not care enough to stop him. 

My second reaction phase. After that day, I decided that I was not going to take this. I did not want to be somewhere I was not wanted. I decided that I was going to work REALLY hard, become super smart and some first world country was going to invite me to move there because I was so smart and studious. That will show my country, I thought. And I followed through. I got into the best high school in the country (our high schools have an official ranking). I learnt English REALLY well. I took AP courses in high school and learned multiple programming languages. I got into an university in a first world country where I was given 4 awards for various academic reasons. I went on to get two Master’s degrees.

I had to take a year of from studying and working for health reasons two years ago. That was the first time in my life I stopped to look at my life. I also joined Tumblr. And I love this site with the amazing humor and beautiful art and the fandoms. But the thing that spoke to me most was the fact that there were so many people out feeling less than others for various reasons. I wish I had the privilege to hear about other people’s struggles when I was younger. Tumblr changed my life. After a lot of introspection, I realized some things.

I realized that I still feel less than others. Maybe even more so now. I feel like I am not full human being. I am less than here. I am less than in other countries as well because I am from a third world country and I have a slight accent. This is a disgusting feeling. 

I realized that I am angry at my family. I would never bring a child into these circumstances and I am mad at my parents for doing just that. I am mad at them for condemning me to be less than a human being.

I realized that I am done with all discrimination and inequality. I am angry at my country for making me feel less than human. I am angry at the world for making others feel the same. In real life, I never shut up about human rights now. 

I kind of glossed over the discrimination I had to face over the years. Mostly because I am not writing a novel here. The biggest issue living in my country was that knowing that I was not wanted even if I was usually tolerated. That is not nice feeling to have in a place where one considers home. And even if it was not every single day, I did face some explicit discrimination. The ones that really got to me were:

My ethnicity making it difficult for me to date. Either because people do not want to date someone with my ethnicity (which I have been told to my face) or because their families did not want them to date someone with my ethnicity (which I have been told to my face).

When I was told that all my ethnicity should get assassinated. A famous person from my ethnicity was assassinated and a person my dad’s age told me that he deserved it, we all deserve a similar end and in fact we should all get assassinated.

Watching a government mandated video in a high school class which claimed that my ethnicity and two other minorities in our country were the biggest terrorist problem our country was facing. The video went on to show clips and pictures of our country’s soldiers dying. 

We have a saying here. “Even if you put on a gold saddle on a donkey, it is still a donkey.” I feel all my degrees and my accomplishments can’t make me a real human being. The ironic part is I have specialized to help people of my country. Like I can’t even really work anywhere else with my specialty. Why did I do that? I now realize that I still wanted to prove how much I loved my country. And I do. These are my people. They are the only people in the world I get 100%. I share their culture. They are my childhood. No one else can know my childhood movies, songs and even snacks like they can. To know that my people will never accept me breaks my heart. To know that I will never truly feel home anywhere in this world sets the crumbs of my heart on fire. 

I feel like a wooden puppet like Pinocchio but there are no blue fairies in my reality. 

[not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost]

Is Steven Moffat a sexist? Part 2 (Doctor Who)

Part 1 on Sherlock Holmes can be found here: http://not-all-those-who-wonder-r-lost.tumblr.com/post/169541860976/is-steven-moffat-a-sexist

Short Answer: YASSS!

Long Answer: I used to be such a HUGE fan of the Doctor. Not so much anymore. Maybe the new Doctor will reel me back in... Anyways, I am not as much as an expert on Doctor Who anymore. So I am not going to go into a very detailed account here (like I have done so for Sherlock in many many posts). I just want to dress some big issues here. 

(3) River Song. I LOVED RIVER SONG! Like words cannot express how much I loved her. And still do kind of. I think now I love what she could have been instead of Moffat’s River Song. Perhaps that’s why I was so disappointed with Moffat’s version. To me, River Song is a bad ass who much like the Doctor spends her time helping others and sometimes she runs into her husband. But Moffat’s version seems to be obsessed with the Doctor. She doesn’t just live her life. This version of River lives her life in anticipation of coming across the Doctor. This quote of hers sums up my point: “When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back.” Everything is wrong with this relationship if this is how River feels. Young girls watching this show should not be seeing a romanticized version of an unhealthy relationship. I am not saying we should not have unhealthy relationships on TV. I am saying that we should not romanticize them and it should be established that these relationship are unhealthy. 

(2) On this note, I find it creepy that all 3 of most important women of their era have been obsessed with the Doctor since their childhood. Amy, River and Clara (for one reason or another) get obsessed with the Doctor when they are children. It’s especially disturbing because River ends up marrying him and Clara always has that creepy over sexualized relationship with him. It’s almost as if like these women exist for the Doctor (much like the manic pixie dream girl trope). Their lives have no other purpose. And this, my friends, is sexist. Women have their own lives. Manic pixie dream girl is a sexist concept that should not exist in this day and age. 

(1) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Hating on men is not feminism! You may hate sexism. You may hate the discrimination women had to endure throughout history. You may hate laws taking away women’s rights. BUT You cannot hate all man in general and call it feminism. Feminism is the belief in gender equality. Hating on man in a misguided attempt at trying to appear feminist only hurts the fight for gender equality. There is a spoiled brat on youtube whining about Doctor Who giving into the feminist agenda because of such misguided attempts (Not going to advertise this highly privileged person who has no idea what real discrimination is that he cannot even be compassionate towards disenfranchised groups). Here are some examples of these misguided attempts:

Clara in S9E5: The universe is full of testosterone. Trust me, it’s unbearable.

River Song in S9E13: What’s that face. Are you thinking? Stop it! You’re a man, it looks weird.

Master in S10E12: Is the future going to be all girl? Doctor: We can only hope

I cringed when I heard these quotes. Not only because I knew they would inflame anti-feminists, but also, as a feminist, I am not okay with male bashing. Let me say it again for the ones sitting in the back: Bashing patriarchy or sexism is fine! Bashing all men for being male is not! 

My favorite cousin is male. He is around my little sister’s age. He is awesome. I don't want my sister to watch Moffat products because I don’t want her to think that Moffat’s version of the world is the norm. I don’t want my cousin to watch Moffat products either because I don’t want him to feel bad for thinking ever or to hear that “we should all hope for an all-girl future where he doesn’t exist”. 

I feel sorry for Moffat. He just does not understand what feminism is or what it stands for. I do not understand how he can completely miss the mark in this day and age. I mean just try googling it, joining tumblr or watching youtube videos! It’s not that hard to watch a five minute video, Moffat.