#Desktop wedding

[thedenofravenpuff]

Sorry not sorry

@logicpng

how could i say no to a pretty girl like you.. lets throw a desktop wedding. i want all the icons to be there, all the folders and files. i love you forever

[thetangibleghost]

Core memory for me is one time on club penguin I meet a guy and we dueled in the dojo for like Hours. We were a perfect match like I'd win some he'd win some. We played so long that when I accidentally clicked out of the game the room that had been almost empty before was so crowded that it glitched the server and all I saw before I got kicked was him futally saying a shortened version of my username from deep in the crowd. I couldn't even go back in the server cause it was full. Literally still sends a shiver down my spine. I have dreams of making a viral tiktok and finding him one day. Idk what we'd do. Maybe a winter wedding.

[artemispt]

Engagement party Wedding party

[soraeia]

Finally started iconning for Wrenn’s new FC and bOY are there a lot of n.sfw icons—

[elegyofthemoon]

oh wait maybe they did bring back no rbs lemme see--

[neonacidtrip]

I see these types of posts every now and again, and it’s only just occurred to me to share some knowledge:

Lines

Lines are often the heart of drawings, and they tend to be the part artists will draw over and over and over again to get them juuuuussssssttttttttt right. Pointing out lines you think are well done will go a long way to compliment an artist.

Your lines are dynamic! (Good for action pictures, art of an intense scene, or art that conveys movement, like a character running)

Your lines are so clean! (Good for neat lines of various sizes. These lines will feel like a coloring book, where you could color inside them yourself if the art was black and white)

Your lines carry such depth! (When lines cross over each other, they make a flat picture look more real, almost like 3D)

You’re good at drawing intricate lines! (Curling lines? Curvy, wavy, bendy lines? Lines that weave around each other? Many, small lines detailing an item like filigree or a robot’s parts? Those are intricate lines, baby)

You make great use of line weight! (In general, the human eye will be drawn towards very thick lines. Artists will use this to make you focus on a certain point, like a character’s face, by using thick lines around the face and thinner lines everywhere else)

You do amazing lineless art! (Not all art has lines! If you see a picture without any lines, make sure to tell the artist you noticed their hard work!)

Your line colors are fantastic! (Not all lines are done in black or white. Some artists will spend a lot of time choosing what color to make their lines. Show them some love!)

Color

Your colors are so vibrant! (Bright colors! Colors that pop! Colors that instantly grab your attention!)

The saturation is great! (A very bright color is highly saturated, and a very dull color is low saturated. High saturation colors can hurt the eyes, so an artist with good saturation control knows how to use bright colors without hurting anyone’s eyes)

I love your color choices! (This can be used for all color schemes; it’s a more general compliment that praises the artists for their understanding of color theory)

Your colors feel like home! (Good for cozy colors. Warm colors that aren’t usually super bright. They make you feel all warm inside. If you picture a cozy cottage in the woods, you’d probably image these colors)

Your pastels are so pretty! (Muted colors usually fall into the category of “pastels”. These are soft colors that are meant to be calming and non-oppressive on your eyes. Think: The opposite of vibrant)

Your colors are so soft! (Similar to the above two, this is for a picture that makes you feel soft and warm and fuzzy inside. It’s more directed towards warm and pastel colors instead of vibrant colors)

Your ability to blend colors is fantastic! (Putting two different colors right next to each other can look jarring or choppy, so many artists will blend two or more colors together to make things look more natural and appealing. A good example is giving a character a subtle pink blush on their otherwise skin-colored cheeks)

You are super good at choosing color palettes! (Good for when the artists regularly chooses colors that just feel like they belong together. Best for when there are only a limited number of colors in the picture)

Your colors are so clean! (Layering color on top of color on top of color can make everything muddy and dull. Artists who blend things well will have “clean colors”. Likewise, some artists intentionally avoid blending to make simple, bold art, in which case their colors are very, very clean)

Light and Shadow

Conveying light and shadows can be really hard. It can take years to understand how lighting works, and it’s even harder to put your knowledge of it into practice. It can be done with colors, lines, textures, and many other ways.

Your lighting is so good! (A general compliment for any time you see good use of lighting. If you’re unsure, check the eyes and the face of the character, as they often have the most highlight to them)

You made great use of shadows here! (Good for when a dark area really captures your attention)

Your shadows feel so alive! (Artists can be really creative. They make dark areas that seem to move or curl or otherwise just be alive on the paper)

The lighting is so soft and gentle! (Like before, this is for art that just makes you feel soft inside! I think of a character maybe surrounded by light in a field of flowers when I imagine something like this)

You balance your shadows so well without making things too dark! (Using lots of dark colors to make shadows can make the picture hard to see, and details can get lost. If you see a picture with lots of shadows, but you can still easily see all the details, then the artists has really good balance and color control)

Your contrast of light and shadow is amazing! (Good for when the artists uses lots of both light and shadow! You often see pictures with a stark difference between the two, like a character standing in the light and the other falling into shadows, but you can also see good contrast in a more standard setting, like a city-scape set in the afternoon)

Details

Pointing out details is one of the fastest ways to make an artist feel seen. It’s harder to give examples for this because it will really, really boil down to the individual picture. The general rule is if you see something you like, say it! Try looking for things to point out, like:

A character’s expression (”She looks so angry!” or “His expression is so sad, I’m going to cry!” or “Wow! I can really tell what they’re thinking just from that expression alone!” or “You draw expressions so well!”)

Little things a character is doing/holding/etc. that may get overlooked (”I noticed you even clenched his fists! Good job!” or “I love her tiny hair clip!” or “You painted her nails to match his eye color! I love it!”)

Details in the background/landscape (”I love the little bird nest you included in the tree branches!” or “The way you draw water is so pretty! I wish I could swim in it!” or “Is that’s Character B’s hand in the background? So cool!” or “That is the softest cat; I want to pet it!” or “That food on the table is the tastiest thing I’ve ever seen!”)

Clothing! (”Her dress is so pretty!” or “Wow, you do such a good job drawing suits!” or “Her t-shirt is so funny!” or “That hat is so cute by the way!”)

The general idea here is just to say whatever comes to your mind, whether it be literally pointing out the obvious (example: “I love that you drew this character wearing a flower crown! Flowers are so pretty!”) or pointing out how the picture made you feel (example: “This picture makes me so happy, I wish I could eat it!”). Just say what you like about it. You don’t need to know fancy art terms. Saying “Your blues are so blue!” is a perfectly wonderful way to describe the three different shades of blue the artist used to draw an ocean. As long as you aren’t criticizing, you can’t really go wrong.

me, absolutely not an artist, desperately trying to articulate how much i like adore people's fanart: ouughgh the colors. there are so MANY of them!!!! and the lines,,,,,,,,,, they are made of lines.. impeccable

[fozmeadows]

the older I get, the more the technological changes I've lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn't even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents' house and our wall-connected landline; my mother's first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend's house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend's massive CRT monitor wouldn't fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room's dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist's in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that's a decade's worth of pictures I'd have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can't ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don't have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they're obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there's a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven't had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?

[01zfan]

your birthday pt. 2 | s. es

husband!eunseok x fem. reader | 8.5k words

a part two i never thought i’d make. i actually love this couple so much i fear. i love them so much i accidentally wrote 3.5k more words than intended. if you are interested in leaving a one time tip or commissioning me feel free to do so here!

contains: unprotected sex, shenanigans in a room while other people are in the house

your birthday: one | two

Snow covered the streets and rooftops, not caring about the time of year as it continued to fall. The street was bathed in white, the lamp posts down the curb of the cul-de-sac illuminated the snow that fell in a never ending frenzy.

Wistfully you looked out the window at the scene setting before you. Your chin rested on top your palms and your elbows were perched on the windowsill. Your eyes scanned the landscape before looking up to the white sky. You couldn’t sleep, too captivated by how the snowfall that made your life seem like a movie. You wondered if you looked how you felt, like a character deep in thought or a musician getting ready to sing about love. You believed you could sing about it for the rest of your life, each song about something different. One song would be about the love you felt the moment you stepped into this house. Another would be about the room you stayed in. You would sing about the bed that wasn’t yours that creaked from years of use then no use at all. You would sing about the blissful drowning in memories that weren’t yours, hanging on the wall and heard in the whirring of the old family desktop. 

The final song you’d sing, possibly the longest and the most heartfelt would be about the gleaming rock on your ring finger. All the love culminated to the diamond, cut and carved delicately to be put on a wedding band. You would sing the song long after your voice gives out from overuse, even after you realize their is no music left to sing along with. You let out a sigh when your fingers run over the engraved letters on the band, something that was a secret detail kept between you and your husband. You closed your eyes and breathed in deep, taking in all the nostalgia and love and beauty that almost became too much to handle. 

When you opened your eyes again you heard the door open behind you. You looked away from the windowsill quickly, hands falling to the armrest of the chair as you used the stability to turn your body further. For a moment you were worried, eyes wide thinking that you woke up the other people in the house. A quiet apology was on your lips before you saw a cautious head poke past the door. Instantly you softened and let out a breath, your hands balling up in silent excitement. 

“I thought you’d never show up.” You said quietly.

You didn’t try to hide your smile seeing Eunseok come inside before closing the door softly behind him. You heard the door quietly close, and you watched Eunseok step on the floorboards that wouldn’t creak as he made his way to the bed. He maneuvered around his room like a cat, on his tip-toes and keeping perfect balance. He winced silently as he got on the corner of the bed closest to you, like the smallest sound would trigger something.

“I was taking my time.” Eunseok whispered, looking past you for a moment to the view outside.

You took a quick turn to look outside again. Another layer of snow covered the ground. You smiled to yourself and subconsciously used your thumb to rub the gold band of your ring. 

“What are the odds it snows this hard in March?” You spoke while still looking outside, looking up towards the moon to try and find it. Eunseok completely forgot about the world around him until he saw you turn back to him slowly with a smile on your face. “And what are the odds it snows on your birthday?” You add.

He couldn’t stop himself from looking down bashfully at your comment. He stopped trying to fight the blush that would spread across his cheeks when he’d suddenly get your full attention, but he absolutely couldn’t handle keeping eye contact with you while it was happening. Eunseok came up with ways to play off the fact that he still couldn’t look at you for too long without feeling like he was going to die—his hands would fly to his bangs to readjust his hair or he’d shake his head trying his best to muster up a cocky smile. 

He fails to remain nonchalant when you move from your place on the recliner to reach towards him. Eunseok instinctually goes further onto his bed, trying to tease you while also trying to give himself some time and distance to get his head in the right place. But his plans are thwarted, they burst into flames when you follow him on your hands and knees. Eunseok tries his best to keep the sly smile as you add extra weight on your hands and knees, purposefully making the bed squeak underneath your body. Eunseok is no better, as he backs away from you his own body makes noise on top of the mattress too. When he gets to the headboard and realizes that there’s two sources of sound coming from this room when there’s only supposed to be one, he puts his hands on your shoulders, stopping you from coming any closer.

“You’re so loud.” He says gently.

You only cocked your head to the side, a confused pout on your lips. Looking at your face smoothed the clenched teeth and furrowed eyebrows Eunseok didn’t realize he had.

“I thought your parents slept through everything?” You asked.  

Eunseok was twenty-five. He spent his life at twenty-three living with you. He watched you graduate university and look for a job in your field and at the same time, Eunseok started imagining a proper future with you; one that required him to leave his comfort zone and apply for a higher up position at his job. 

At twenty-four he got the promotion the same time you landed a job. This was also around the same time Eunseok started looking at nearby jewelers and learning about different types of rings. At twenty-four Eunseok started planning your anniversary months in advance, long before you began thinking about it. At twenty-four Eunseok reluctantly started keeping secrets from you and hiding the shake in his hands as the date creeped closer and closer. At twenty-four Eunseok brought you to a beautiful restaurant while your friends and family set up the apartment. Like his birthday when he turned twenty-three Eunseok watched you navigate through the darkness of your apartment, talking about no surprises right before everyone revealed themselves. At twenty-four Eunseok got down on one knee and pulled out a ring, smiling to himself as the room went silent. He heard your confirmation the same time the room erupted in cheers and confetti was thrown.

At twenty-five Eunseok went from being your fiancé to your husband. You two went on a honeymoon out of the country where your eyes stayed on the ring, constantly looking at it and sighing in content disbelief. Eunseok repeated the phrase like it that much? with a proud smile on his face. 

(He knew you would like it. He made sure you would. Before he even considered buying the ring he took your bestfriend, your sister, and your Mother—all on separate occasions, he had to make sure ones opinion wouldn’t be swayed by the other—to the jewelers. He presented the ring he had in mind to each one of them, asking carefully if it was you. He was delighted to see everyone believed it was the ring. Even your friend who wasn’t easily impressed by Eunseok gave him a nod of approval. He still held onto the not bad, Eunseok like a lifeline when he swiped his card.)

Eunseok was twenty-six and forty-two minutes old now and he knew about way more things than he did the previous years of his life. He was more sure of himself, too. He was a high performer at work and a happy husband, something that seemed so foreign to him when he was a teenager doing God knows what. 

But even now, with all of his knowledge and amassed experiences he wasn’t sure if you were batting your eyelashes and pouting at him in a silent attempt to get him to make a move. 

Even if Eunseok’s heart was hammering in his chest he wasn’t opposed to it. The sight of you in his childhood bedroom with the backdrop of the beautiful snowfall actually left him fighting the urge to close the space between your two bodies. You stood on your knees now, still looked at him with that glint in your eyes. Eunseok was weak, he was grateful to lean against the headboard to give himself some sense of stability. But the way you leaned back on your haunches with your hands balled up in your lap and your ring staring at him he felt his inhibitions slipping away by the second. He was happy to be back home, Eunseok needed his friends and family to survive, but this trip has tried him to no end.

His parents were extremely old fashioned. They were so set in their ways that Eunseok had to tell you about it incessantly the first time you came over. He sat in the driver seat of his car and lamented the way they were until you nodded your head in annoyance. At the time, before Eunseok’s parents referred to you as their daughter, the only thing you were worried about was them liking you. Eunseok was more worried that you would see first hand why he was such a rebellious asshole as a teenager.

Even though time had passed and Eunseok’s parents arguably treated you better than they treated him, he knew their traditional ways would keep you apart. The first night when you were getting ready for bed Eunseok’s Mom came up behind you, leading you up the stairs to his childhood room while his Father continued talking to him downstairs. When his Dad bid you a goodnight and he started pulling out the couch that turned into a bed he remembers the shock on your face. He remembers you trying to as respectfully as possible tell his Mom that you were fine with the two of you sleeping on the cramped twin mattress in his room. He smiled to himself as he laid out the extra set of blankets, already knowing what his Mother was going to say.

“Eunseokie is sleeping on the couch so you can sleep in his room.” She said with a smile. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Even though Eunseok knew his Mother was going to keep you two separated at night, he still felt unprepared. He foolishly thought he could handle being away from you for only a night, but he tossed and turned on the couch. He felt like a teenager again, scowling to himself and getting angry at his parents trying to impose rules on him. He was old enough to admit now that he was overreacting when he rebelled to having a curfew as a teenager, or when he’d get grounded for having bad grades and when he’d come home smelling like smoke. But he was a kid then, an ornery asshole with a million hormones running through his bloodstream. Eunseok was a man now—a man who needed to sleep next to his wife to get a goodnight’s rest, but a man nonetheless—he believed he was justified in his indignation at being told what to do.

So each night, almost twenty-six Eunseok turned into a rebellious teenager again. The only difference was that he wasn’t sneaking out of the house, but actually going deeper into it. 

He stayed on one side of the staircase to avoid creaking and tiptoed past his parents room to sneak into his. Each night you were already up and waiting for him, a smile on your face as you leaned against the headboard of his bed. Eunseok got a kick out of seeing you be rebellious. On the first night your eyes would widen with each creak of the bed and you quietly shushed him a million times. Eunseok had to assure you that his parents didn’t wake easily and that he would go back down to the couch before morning came just to so you would cuddle with him.

He would’ve never thought you’d get so used to rebelling so quickly. The same girl that was nervous to even cuddle with his parents one room over was now staring at him with intent. You were nervous to even move on his bed the first night but now you played with your allotted decibels, he was starting to believe you purposefully overdid it just to get a rise from him. 

You even traded your usual nightwear for a set that was reminiscent of his birthday three years ago. He didn’t want to pay attention to your set when he came in, but now that’s all he could think about. Especially the way one of your straps made it over the edge of your shoulder and draped down your skin so perfectly. Each time you moved even the slightest the silk moved with you. 

Between your eyes boring into his and your chest grabbing his attention Eunseok wasn’t sure where to look. He was out of options, his eyes darting to the frames on his wall trying to recall his old memories instead of the image of you crawling on the bed towards him. Unfortunately Eunseok came to realize that it was already seared into his mind, burning everything else into a crisp. All there was in his mind was you, and here you were already in front of him still looking at him with those eyes. Your innocent question lingered in the air the suggestive nature in your voice imprinting on his mind. 

When you pushed slightly against Eunseok’s hands, he let his hands travel down to your arms. He had the strap of your set pressed between his palm and your upper arm, and you seized the opportunity to come even closer to him. Instantly you leaned your body against his, letting out a sigh as you looked out the window. Eunseok willed his body to relax as yours settled against his. When you turned to face the window your other strap fell from your shoulder, and you made a clumsy attempt to pull it back up. It seemed to fall down even lower after you tried, forcing Eunseok to move his hands upwards to put them back on your shoulders. He moved his hands up and down your arms, trying to soothe himself by soothing you. The repetitive motions should help his heart go back to its normal pace and that itch spreading across his body that only you could scratch should go away.

Just as Eunseok followed your gaze outside to the snow he saw your eyes go back to his room. You inspected the room like you only saw it in snatches, in between the mornings before heading downstairs and the night before going to bed.

He didn’t know why having you in here felt so different. He was suddenly hyperaware of the pile of clothes in the corner of his room and the aged desktop in the corner of his room. Eunseok noticed the hobby items of the animes he used to watch, the dusty trophies from spelling bees and certificates of decathlons before he decided he wanted to be one of the cool kids. Something that should’ve been hidden in the night was illuminated by the lamp posts and the snow, letting you see the highlights of Eunseok’s childhood. He would’ve told you anything you wanted to know about his life without hesitation, and he was sure he talked about his past before becoming a delinquent before. But still, having you see firsthand the child he used to be was somber. He only watched you in silence as you took it all in, he turned his head from the snow to watch yours tilt and turn as you looked at his life story.

He watched you pause on the cork board that hung on his door. It was dedicated to birthday cards, a faded Have a great Summer! and a faded countdown that reached zero. Eunseok leaned forward to kiss the ball of your shoulder, finding comfort in having his skin against yours in another way. When you hummed it let him know you saw all of him, and you were beginning to digest it. He followed your eyes and leaned his head forward, looking down at your cheek that you chewed on absentmindedly.

“What are you looking at?” He asked.

You looked up at him from his side. He still ran his hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion, only stopping when you pointed to the board.

“What was the countdown for?” You asked.

He forgot himself what the countdown was for. When he remembered he laughed to himself quietly before letting out a  sigh. A million memories ran through his head at once, the good, bad, and ugly that came with being a kid trying to find his way. Eunseok let the memories fall like the snow as he looked out the window again. 

“It was a countdown for my eighteenth birthday.” Eunseok continued watching the snowfall as you started laying down, getting more comfortable on the bed. When your head resting in his lap he started touching your cheeks absentmindedly, watching another layer of snow coat the ground. “I was always in such a rush to grow up.”

Eunseok looked away from the snow to the window nook. He wants to laugh again at how melodramatic he was, how he’d sit in that nook and be a moody teenager. He remembers waiting there until his friends pulled up in their car before he’d sneak out to go somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. Your cheeks were soft underneath the pads of his fingers. He didn’t take his hands away, only nodding his head towards the pillow that was still caved in on itself from years of use and the blanket that was jumbled in the corner. 

“I used to sit right there.” Eunseok felt your head turn underneath his hands. “I would look at the sky and just think about what life would be like when I finally left.” He said.

Eunseok didn’t know why he was being so candid. He quietly walked up the stairs with the sole mission to cuddle, maybe even get a kiss or two. He would’ve never thought he’d be sharing the small details of his life he always kept to himself. But he also should’ve known by now that he could keep nothing from you; even if they were insignificant moments in his adolescence he only thought about in passing. Everything had the tendency to come to the surface when he looked at you. He was still trying to figure out why your presence always prompted him to speak. Silence was something Eunseok was praised for when he was a teenager. He wore the mysterious and quiet label like a badge of honor. When you were around, it was useless. Sometimes he felt like he was just talking to talk when you came around, like his body was forcing him to subject you to his voice. He never got better at controlling his urge to talk to you. Even now, his gaze cut back to the falling snow to point his finger through the white haze in the general direction of his neighbors house.

“Our neighbor across the street, can you see his house?” 

He wasn’t sure if you were humoring him when you craned your neck to look through the downpour of snow. You nodded your head regardless of if you could see it or not before leaning your head back on his lap. Suddenly his throat felt dry. He didn’t even know what he was going to say, what this useless ramble was leading to but he still felt antsy for some reason. He tried to shake the feeling away by shifting his body underneath yours, using the creaks in his bed as a palette cleanser for his voice. 

“He always puts up his lights up during Christmas the exact same day.” Eunseok puts one of his hands behind his body to keep himself propped up while the other continues mindlessly playing with your face. He thinks your eyes stay focused on the corner of the roof that’s visible through the snow. He doesn’t know, because now he really can’t bring himself to look down at you. “Like for as long as i can remember, he always puts them up on December 13th when his son comes from wherever he lives to help him. I think my Mom told me once he drives for three hours just to help his Dad put up decorations on the exact same day, every year.”

Even though your silent, Eunseok knows you heard him. He swears you’re looking at him as a teenager in the nook of his window, blanket curled in his lap as he looks across the cul-de-sac to his neighbors house. He swears you’re right behind him, looking down at the Father and son putting up the Christmas decorations together. He hopes you can see the things a small part of him doesn’t want you to see, that you can hear what’s left unsaid. He hopes you can understand the inner turmoil and how the lack of family traditions pulled at his heart. He hopes you can understand the battle he went through of thinking about the trouble he was going to get into with his friends while also wishing for a relationship with his parents. He prays you know he wanted more than day drinking on Friday mornings instead of going to class .You hum as you imagine Eunseok sitting in the nook of his window, looking across the cul-de-sac to the Father and son putting up Christmas decorations together. 

Eunseok had matured in more ways than he could count since you two started seeing eachother. After he learned about your aversion to alcohol he stopped drinking carelessly, when he found out you were moving to go to college he started getting serious about his life too. You often argued that he was more mature than you, but his biggest setback now was that he would never mention it. He didn’t like to dwell on the past, he didn’t like to look back on the type of person he was as a young adult. Even now, he was only realizing in the moment that the antsy feeling across his body was because he wanted to say something else. He couldn’t find the words, and he looked down to you for help. He still needed you, the same way you needed him. It was a silent agreement between you two, signed and sealed by prolonged eye contact and gentle touches and delivered through words. When he needed the push you were there.

“I want something like that one day. Family traditions are so nice.” You say with a smile.

“Yeah.” Eunseok’s voice tapered off at the end as he snapped his gaze to the window. The blush creeped across his face again and sweat lined his palms as you intertwined his fingers with yours.

Eunseok’s other hand went back to playing with your face, but his touch was a little harder. He tries to distract himself, he almost tries talking himself out of what he’s going to say next by clearing his throat and watching the snowfall. He started uselessly counting the falling specks, losing track over and over again as he tries to stop himself from being vulnerable. 

One

Two

Three

The feeling of your hand squeezing around his makes Eunseok lose count. He clears his throat, trying to will away the hot feeling across his body.

One

Two

Three

Six

Eight

Twelve

Avoidance of emotion is a terrible habit Eunseok has, one made instinctually through trying to hide his personality his whole life. The worst part was when sentiments were on the tip of his tongue but suddenly his throat would feel dry until he swallowed it back.

“What do you want to say?” 

Eunseok was pulled from whatever number at the sound of your voice. He looked down at you already looking up at him. Your smile is so welcoming and your eyes are big and focused on whatever he’s going to say. 

When he needed a push you were there.

“I was just gonna say that I can’t wait to have family traditions with you one day.” 

Eunseok didn’t realize he was pinching your hand from the nerves until his eyes drifted away from yours. He loosed his grip instantly but you made up for it tenfold, gripping him so hard he could feel the creases on your fingers. Being overwhelmingly vulnerable about his future with you (as if the ring on your finger didn’t bound your lives together for better or for worse, from now till the end of time) made him nervous. Eunseok felt like he had embarrassed himself in some way until you got up from your place on his bed to be eye level with him. 

“I can’t wait either.” You agreed. 

Everything about you dripped in sincerity. The way your eyes had only gotten wider to show you were serious and your hand reached up to cup his face to let him know you were right there with him. Eunseok was amazed by how you put yourself out there seemingly for his benefit. You so easily repeated back his sentiment without hesitation, even after you had to pull the confession from him. He didn’t know how he got so lucky, how you made him feel so seen when he spent his entire life trying to be invisible. You had the talent of reading his mind, he hoped and prayed that you understood what he was trying to say when his eyes focused on your lips.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” You said.

Eunseok didn’t say anything else when he rested his hand on the back of your neck. Any extent of being vulnerable made Eunseok mentally drained. His endurance when it came to using words was slim to none, but when he failed on that front he knew he could always fall back on his physicality. Eunseok could admit that it was a little pathetic his emotions needed a breather after something as insignificant as hinting at having a family but he was okay with that. As long as he was able to distract you from the fact by kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. 

When his thumb ran up and down the small space of your jaw and your hands went to grip his forearms Eunseok knew he had you distracted. He focused on you for a second longer, the backdrop of the snow seemed like you were carved out from a movie. He saw you part your lips and run your tongue over them quickly before you started slowly inching forward. He closed the distance even slower, tilting his head and pulling you in by his hand on the back of your neck.

The quiet sound of your lips making contact filled the space between the two of you. Your hand eventually planted into the mattress to steady yourself while Eunseok’s hands guided you through the motions, trying his best to minimize the sound of movement on his bed.

When you tried getting onto Eunseok’s lap he started using his hands to guide your body onto his bed. You didn’t know what he was planning but you let him do it anyway, maneuvering your body until he could guide your body down. He kissed you all the way down until your head was resting on the pillows, and his hands that touched your face started touching his sheets instead. You closed your eyes into the chaste kisses, pressing your lips gently against Eunseok’s as you searched for his hands. When you felt his wrists you grabbed at them, but Eunseok didn’t weave your fingers together like he usually did. He didn’t deepen the kiss either, only pressing hesitant kisses that got slower and slower. You could feel his anticipation falter with each old creek of the bed. 

Finally Eunseok’s hands started clutching at yours, but they were contemplative before you tried deepening the kiss. Before you knew it Eunseok pulled away from you, and you lifted your head in a habit of chasing him.

“I’ve never done this before.” Eunseok said breathily.

You blinked up at him, trying to get the gears in your mind to turn. Instead the only thing you could think about was Eunseok on top of you and the way the glow from the lamp posts dimly lit the side of his face.

“We’ve definitely made out before.” You say back.

Eunseok knew you were using the term making out very loosely. Unsure chaste kisses to lips were nothing compared to what you  two were accustomed to. When Eunseok ran his tongue over his lips he could feel the thin layer of drool coating them. But his lips felt nothing like the swollen warmth he’d usually be left with when you’d break away to catch your breath. The light catching on your lips didn’t resemble the usual sight either. When you two were actually making out Eunseok would always part from your lips leaving them a bitten red mess. Eunseok had a habit of sucking and lightly biting your lips, but he was too distracted to do anything beyond juvenile pecks. 

He was amazed to see your eyes were still ogling him like he was teasing you. He felt your leg rub against his as he shook his head.

“I mean I’ve never made out with anyone in my childhood room before.” Eunseok says.

Eunseok doesn’t miss the way your head tilted to the side in genuine confusion at his remark.

“Really?” You asked.

Eunseok’s own head tilted at the genuine shock in your voice. He knew that his reputation preceded him in many ways before you met. Living in such a small town meant that word spread fast, whether it was true or not. When one member of his crew did something, it was assumed the rest of them were doing the same thing. So when word travelled that people in his clique were sneaking girls in and out of their homes late at night, Eunseok should’ve suspected that the common consensus was that they were all fooling around in their childhood rooms. 

He could see instantly that you regretted how shocked you sounded. Eunseok saw that you were still frazzled from the kisses, catching you off guard to the extent that you weren’t able to hide your expression. Eunseok saw it as an opportunity to lean close, so close that his nose touched your ear.

“You think I was bringing girls over?” He asks.

Eunseok tilts his head slightly, a smirk on his face when he sees you trying to avoid eye contact. He presses even further, until his lips press against the shell of your ear and your hand grasps at his body as a reflex.

“Sneaking them in and out?” When you nod your head Eunseok tsks playfully and shakes his head. Before you can defend yourself, Eunseok drags his hand along the line of your jaw. His eyes follow his own hand, as if he doesn’t know where it’s going either. When his fingers rest lightly over your neck he feels you swallow underneath him. Eunseok’s eyes drift back up to your face, smiling to himself when you still avoid eye contact. “I thought you thought more of me.” He fake pouts.

Instantly you shake your head, but no words come out. Eunseok knows he shouldn’t be so cruel. He never debunked the rumors of him being a delinquent, to some extent it was true and he was also guilty of feeding into it. Eunseok would’ve never thought that it’d pay off like this in the future. He was able to see the gears helplessly turn in your head as you tried to think of a way to defend yourself. Just when the words were about to come out Eunseok flexed his hand over your neck again, adding the slightest bit of pressure. He watched your back arch off the bed from the sensation, and you whimpered weakly. He felt your pull at his shirt, weak despite your hand gripping his shirt so tightly it caused wrinkles.

Eunseok wonders if you were trying to be in charge tonight. The two of you were always impartial to roles in the bedroom, but on his birthday you always seemed to assert some sort of dominance. Even if it was breathlessly asking Eunseok to do whatever he wants to you, he always noticed that you tried maintaining control to some degree. But now here you were, gripping onto him pathetically and avoiding eye contact while you came closer and closer to him. Eunseok didn’t know if he preferred it this way, but he sure as Hell wasn’t going to complain. He only leaned into it, kissing your cheek before using his other hand to point your face towards his.

“It’s like our first time again.” Eunseok smiled against your skin before leaving wet kisses in the crook of your neck. 

You whimpered, your hand travelled up to press into his shoulder blade. Eunseok went back to kissing and laving the warm skin on your neck, shuffling your body underneath his as he got on top of you. When the bed creaked again he noticed it was you who hesitated this time, bending your head towards his so he couldn’t kiss you anymore.

“What if your parents hear us?” You asked.

Eunseok didn’t stop devouring you, kissing your neck and jawline and cheek before repeating the same cycle. His other hand started pulling at you, silently urging you to start pulling at him too. When Eunseok felt you give in an inch, he took another mile. He raised form your neck completely to look down at you, his eyes drifting to all the spots on your neck and face that were glossy from his spit. He ran his finger over the crease of your eyebrow, smirking to himself.

Eunseok looks around his room for a moment before settling on the nook. The thought of having you on top of him right next to the window with the snow falling has him off the bed in seconds pulling at your arms to get you up. Eunseok feels pride swell in his chest at how you follow him immediately and how you’re wobbly on your feet for a second before he pulls you towards the window. You teeter unsure where to go but let your body be lead by him. He is so hasty that he doesn’t know what to do when he has you where he wants you. He notices the lack of space first, he forgot that he has definitely grown since he was a lanky preteen. But seeing your blown out eyes and feeling your hands impatiently grab at his body and sweats fills him with innovation. He scoots back to the window and sits on the nook, letting his feet plant onto the wooden floor. He purposefully manspreads, distracting you more as your eyes flit between his lap and his eyes. Your strap fell down again at some point, but you aren’t focused on it at all. He has to look at the strap before you realize it had fallen down. 

“Come here.” He says gently, hands beckoning towards you.

You close the distance immediately. The strap is loose on your skin as Eunseok rubs the material between his fingers. Your hands already go to his shoulders, holding them in anticipation. He loves how easily you get wound up for him. It took him nearly a year to convince himself that you were truly always this ready for him and that you weren’t playing it up for his confidence. When he needed to prove it to himself all he had to do was stick his hand past the waistband of your matching shorts.

Instantly you gasped and he smiled to himself before looking up to you. Now it was your turn for your face to get hot and for Eunseok to be nonchalant. He still innocently played with the strap of your camisole, as if his other hand wasn’t teasing your slit. He played with the slick, purposefully messing with it in a way that caused the most noise.

“You still have to be quiet.” Eunseok said quietly.

You bit your lip and nodded, but you were still so loud. You were squelching between his fingers just from kissing and a little pulling at your skin. Sometimes he wondered if you ever rested, but he also knew he was no better. He was trying to fight the bulge from forming in his sweats since he opened the door and saw you in this set. That was the best part about sex with you—it could’ve easily been him being teased while you sat on the windowsill looking up at him evenly—it just happened to be him first. 

So Eunseok exaggerated everything. He shuffled closer to the edge of the nook and briefly stopped playing with your strap to pull you in by your lower back. Instantly you got so close his nose pressed against the silk fabric of your camisole. Eunseok looked up at your head lulling to the side, and he pulled at you again until his chin was pressed against your stomach. He smiled at you losing your balance, how your hand quickly pressed against the glass of his window to stabilize yourself. When your legs pressed against his he wedged his legs between them, spreading them apart until you looked uncomfortable. You still bit your lip and moved your body whichever way he wanted, being so good just for him. He went back to the strap of your camisole, pulling it lower and lower, slowly revealing one side of your chest. He fingers continued making a show of how wet you were. Eunseok knew everything he was doing was so close to what you wanted but at the same time so far away.

“Please.” You dragged out your quiet plea, preening and lowering your hips to try and get his fingers where you needed them to be. 

“Aren’t you worried—” He couldn’t even finish his question before you were shaking your head. His dick jumped in his sweats and he started pressing a little harder, right next to where your cunt was clenching around nothing. “Aren’t you worried my parents will wake up?” He asked.

“Don’t care.” You rushed the words out, but still spoke in a whisper. “I Don’t care.” You repeated.

To show that you were serious, Eunseok watched you quickly pull away from him to reach at the bottom of your camisole. In seconds it was off your body completely, thrown somewhere random in the room. Eunseok watch your hand greedily go up to your own chest and he started kissing at the skin of your stomach. He pressed his teeth to your skin the same time he pushed his index finger inside of you. He looked up to catch your expression, a wet mark left in the wake of his lips as you started teasing your nipple roughly. Your legs were already starting to get shaky, Eunseok watched you lean on him more and more for stability as he added in another finger. He was having too much fun messing with you. It wasn’t enough that he was ruining you in some convoluted way by finger fucking you in his childhood room right in front of the window, but he took the extra step to tease you by retracting his finger so it was only one again. Watching you pout was too satisfying, seeing your hands grab at your body to make up for loss of contact made his dick strain in his pants.

“Am I being mean?” He asked.

Eunseok made sure to be as sarcastic as possible, he even smirked up at you after he was done speaking. The smirk turned to a full blown smile when you nodded with your whole body, hands still groping your chest as you tried making sense of everything. The frosted glass was cold against his skin but he warmed it, and your hand left a foggy imprint in its wake. 

“Want me to stop teasing you?” He continued.

You nodded again, adding a pathetic whine while doing it. You made it entirely too easy for Eunseok to be an asshole. He wanted to know why you seemed to like it so much too. Each time he pushed his finger into your heat you squeezed him tight, desperately looking for more. He felt your heartbeat, he felt you gushing around him. Your reactions made him want to be a delinquent again, the type that gave you so much it made you make noise. But he decided now wasn’t the time, and here wasn’t the place. He had plenty of chances to be mean to you in the future. So he was going to bask in the teasing and the fact that you had to be quiet even though making noise in bed seemed to be your favorite thing. 

Eunseok added his finger back. Then he added another one. Then he reached his hand from your lower back to grab the other side of your chest that you were neglecting.

“Love seeing you fall apart.” He murmured against the skin of your stomach.

Eunseok felt his stomach lurch forward when your hand fisted his hair. You didn’t pull on the strands to assert dominance, you were using him as a human stress ball as consolation for not being able to make any noise. When he quickened his fingers your eyes screwed shut and you pulled even tighter. Eunseok had to swallow a groan as he tilted his head into your grip, trying to alleviate some of the force. He watched you slouch and felt your legs tremble against his. You were fluttering around his three fingers, and labored breaths were tumbling through your bitten lips.

“Close?”

You nodded your head immediately. Eunseok watched you rotate your hips slightly. He broke from the dominant haze for a moment at the look of discomfort that flashed across your face. He bent his hand that was inside of you, and when he knew he was getting it right your hand tightened in his hair again. He kissed and sucked on the skin of your waist, pressing his tongue flat before looking up to you again. 

This time your eyes were open, wide and glassy. You also freed your bottom lip from your teeth, Eunseok swore he could see the indents in the orange glow of the lamp posts. You looked like peace despite you in the middle of falling apart. Even though you were directly causing pain to his scalp Eunseok felt something so tender and raw in your rough hold. He was here with you and you were right there, trying so hard to be with him.

“I’ll be better for you.” Eunseok murmured.

Eunseok watched you nod quickly, your pout deepening. The cogs were turning in your mind, trying to keep up with the words falling from his lips and the rough pace of his hands. You were getting pulled back and forth by him. He was sure his promise came as an echo to you, bouncing off the walls of your hazy, lust-filled mind. Then suddenly, Eunseok saw you come back to Earth. Your hand was placed delicately on his cheek, stroking the skin with your thumb. He had to blink away the bracket of tears threatening his water line to keep his eyes on you.

“You already are.” You said.

Eunseok let out a sigh and leaned his head against your stomach. Your were like a warm pillow, jumping with each sharp inhale and exhale of breath. His eyes were focused on the wall as he went to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his wet fingers.

“I need you to fuck me though.” You said. Eunseok swore the snow stopped and his desktop stopped whirring in that moment. He looked up to you and your hand squeezed his cheek, forcing his lips to pucker. “Please.” You added, as articulate as possible.

After wrapping such a tempting proposition in a pretty bow, Eunseok couldn’t control himself for the second time that night. He got up from his stoop and pulled at your waistband. Your hands started pulling at his shirt and sweats at the same time, trying to quickly undress him as he smashed his lips against yours. Eunseok couldn’t be pulled away from you, he pushed you further and further back towards the edge of his bed as your hands started reaching for any part of him. 

You almost tripped when he pushed your shorts down to your thighs, and you actually fell when the back of your legs hit the back of the bed. Your body caused the springs to creak when you fell, but Eunseok didn’t clench his teeth or try to silence it. He seemed to be striving for it. He made your body squirm on the mattress when he took off your shorts, and made them sound off again when he flipped you over onto your stomach. When you tried to crawl further onto the bed he stopped you by a hand clasped over your shoulder. He knew you were confused, he was confused himself. The only thing that was in Eunseok’s mind was the sincerity in your voice when you told him so nicely that he needed to fuck you. Your voice made his hands pull off his clothes quickly, it made him not waste time getting on the bed to mount you. He only stood next to the bed while you were laying on your hands and knees in front of him, looking back as you settled into your position. 

He at the very least took time adjusting your legs on the bed and pressing a hand to your lower back to deepen your arch. He also asked you if you were ready, to which you very impatiently gave the affirmative.

Eunseok wasted no time working up to a fast pace. The moment he felt your walls let him in he was pulling back and smacking his hips against yours. It knocked the wind out of you first, them it made his bed scream, but he didn’t stop. In his mind he was able to rationalize a quick burst of noise rather than prolonging it, even if he wished for the former. You let tiny whimpers and moans slip out underneath the pressure of the mattress. He looked down at you taking him in, each time he pulled out his dick was covered with another layer of your slick. His hand left your lower back for a second to point at your left hand balled up in the sheets.

“Gimme your hand.” He said.

Instantly you started flailing your hand behind you, too focused on not crying out to actually give it to Eunseok. He grabbed your wrist that fit so perfectly in his hand and pinned it to the same spot on your lower back. He focused on hitting that spot deep inside of you, and before he knew it one of his feet was propped up on the bed beside your body. You were really weak now, losing your form as your hand tried turning to grab his wrist. Eunseok pressed deeper, driven still by your order of fucking you. He leaned close, so close that your body was flat against the sheets and one of your legs slipped off the bed completely. He accommodated you immediately, and the screaming creaks of his bedsprings turned into quick steady croaks.

“You like that?” Eunseok’s other hand went to the back of your neck and he felt your walls clench around him. He moved his hand a little higher on your back, moving your pinned wrist to a slightly uncomfortable position. It seemed like that’s what you craved the most, because the tone of your sounds became whiny and weak. “You’re so quiet I can’t tell.” He teased.

Eunseok patted himself on the back at the sound of your incoherent babbles. The only word he could make out was close. 

“I love you too.” Eunseok squeezed his hand on the back of your neck and watched you attempt to get an arch back. He threaded in a love confession to your babbles on his own accord, knowing that was something you tended to say when you were almost there. “Cum for me, baby.”

Your other leg slid off the bed when you came. Eunseok had to move his hand from the back of your neck to clasp over your mouth preemptively to get ahead of the shaking moans that ripped past your parted lips. They were muffled and warm against the palm of his hand, and he muffled his own grunts on the clammy skin of your back. You felt the warmth inside of you and heard three more heavy creaks of the bed until Eunseok stopped moving on the final one. He stayed inside of you, his body pressed flush against yours as both of your hands pressed laid on top of the mattress. Eunseok intertwined his fingers with yours as you both caught your breath. Your wind came back to you through wheezes while Eunseok did deep inhales. You were still babbling about something, which Eunseok silenced with kisses to your tear stained cheek and the corner of your lips. 

Your feet helplessly dangled over the edge of the bed, impossible to get your footing or placement on the ground. Eunseok’s warm body crushing you almost lulled you to sleep, but then the thought of his parents catching you like this in the morning made you fully alert. You bent your leg to kick the back of Eunseok’s thigh, pulling him out of his own trance. He was too busy thinking about those family traditions before sighing, pushing his dick deeper into you one last time before pulling out completely. You still seized around him like your body wanted him but he continued to pull out. He looked down at your cunt briefly, seeing if you had pushed any of him out. But it looks like you took every last drop, and he bit his lip to hold back a smile until you stayed moving. 

When the bed creaked underneath you he hissed and his hands went to your body to try and still you. Eunseok watched you look back at him with actual confusion, head tilted to the side. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?” You grumbled, making the point to make extra noise while you clambered off the bed.

[snailpebbles]

First View - LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x streamer! reader

Summary: Lando stumbles into your stream as your only viewer and decides he'll stay for a bit. Or forever. *This will be a series! hopefully!*

wc: 1.4k

tags: straight fluff, love at first sight IM SORRY, Lando is horrendously down bad, reader is just vibing

⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊🍊˚ 🧡୨♡୧ ⋅🔸˚₊‧꒰ა🟠໒꒱ 🍊‧₊˚

Lando was bored. He’d just flown back to Monaco after the Belgian Grand Prix, electing to wipe the entire thing from his mind like usual. Max was busy, instagram is dry, and tiktok has long since lost its luster. After doom scrolling for a prolonged amount of time he decides to go to hell with it and open Twitch. He hadn’t opened the app in months; not since his last stream. He should probably get back to that..nah. 

Once opened he’s met with the usual flurry of same old same old, and the bored begins to creep up on him once more. Until he stumbles upon a streamer with zero viewers and potentially one of the most gorgeous faces he’s ever seen. As he clicks on the window and your face is brought to fill a decent size of his screen, Lando realizes he is now truly in the presence of what must be an angel. Sure your camera is absolute shite and you’re doing nothing; staring at your phone as your game sharing screen is black, but he knows he’d be content watching for hours.

You stay silent for a little longer until you glance up, making Landos rapid heart come to a full stop as you meet his eyes unintentionally. You’re absolutely captivating he realizes, even more so when you freeze and awkwardly laugh upon noticing your lone viewer. As you shyly wave and fix the seemingly handmade blue beanie on your head Lando makes a quickfire decision that he’ll just stay here. Forever. With you. 

“Uhm..hello?” You start awkwardly, clearing your throat as you turn your phone off. Internally he curses himself for not switching to a different account, now he can’t type without giving away his identity. Damnit. “Sorry, I’ll actually start playing something now!” The laugh that bubbles from you fills his heart and rings in his mind akin to wedding bells. Wow, he’s down bad. 

He watches curiously as you disregard the games on your desktop and open a new tab, typing in…CoolMathGames? Huh? 

“This is some hardcore gaming if you ask me.” You mumble, shitty laptop microphone making your voice all crackly. He doesn’t care, you sound angelic to him. You load up Papa’s Cupcakeria to reveal a level thirteen save. A smile spreads across his lips at how insanely adorable he finds this to be. 

Once you begin playing Lando takes the chance to analyze a new side of you. As you play you squint, so maybe you need glasses or that singular light isn’t enough for you? Your lips purse when you concentrate and he’s overwhelmed with the need to kiss their chapped state. While you wait for the orders to come through you chew on your bottom lip, digging into the soft flesh there unknowingly. Lando notices, of course he does, and now the little imperfections he can barely make out make a little more sense. How often do you do this and would you let him kiss it better? 

Jesus Lando get a grip.

He stays on your stream for awhile, chin resting in hand as he listens to the silly games music and your quiet comments and cheers of success whenever you get a ‘perfect’ on icing. Never once has he felt so..comfortable. It’s like you’re a salve for all the stress he’s felt over the past season, disentangling his nerves with every lopsided grin and huff of a laugh. It’s obvious to him that you’re hyper aware of his presence, ironic considering his own peaceful state. 

After going up three more levels and a whole lot of not so silent cursing at customers with annoyingly long orders, you hesitantly speak to him.

“Uhm, I’m gonna be heading off now..? Thank you for sticking around for so long though!” He feels butterflies erupt in his stomach as you speak directly to him, your one man audience that’s embarrassingly enamored by your soft-spoken words and pixelated face cam feed. That feeling is quickly replaced by an overwhelming dread once he remembers he hasn’t said anything! At all!

How does he be suave? Cool? What is the one chat he could send that’ll make you visibly swoon and instantly feel how he does?

Hey! Super cool stream, would love to see some more haha! 

Oh my God what was that!? 

“Thank you..that’s really sweet.” You smile at him and he feels like the Sun has just finally shined down on him, blessing him with warmth. “I’ll make sure I stream tomorrow, just for you.” You promise, winking smoothly at the camera. Sure it lags and your voice comes through choppily, but Christ he’s never felt so giddy. Not since Miami at least. 

The stream cuts off and unfortunately for him, doesn’t save. Now he feels cursed, staring at the empty screen like you’ll magically stream once more and provide that safe haven again. He reluctantly closes his laptop after following you and turning on notifications, no longer caring about the repercussions for doing so on his public persona account. 

⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊🍊˚ 🧡୨♡୧ ⋅🔸˚₊‧꒰ა🟠໒꒱ 🍊‧₊˚

The next day comes and every notification has Lando on edge. On multiple occasions he’s tripped over himself trying to reach his phone only to see some pity attempt from the F1 admin needing content. 

He leaves them on read like almost every other driver.

Towards the end of the night, it finally happens. With an excited grin he clicks on the notification, heartbeat speeding up as your face appears in the bottom of the laptop screen. You laugh as you seen your viewer count instantly tick to ‘1’ and wave. 

“Well hi..I��m assuming this is the same dude from last time?” A smile spreads across your face and you glow, fixing that same stupid beanie on your head even though it’s definitely too big for you. 

Yep, just me. Promise i’m not a creep!

Was that stupid? Creepy? Lando manages to fully panic in the two seconds of lag time it takes for your answer to come through.

“Alright..Lando? I’m going off your user here.” As you speak you load up the same game as last time, starting a new day. “Any particular reason you’re watching me, a rando, stream a game on a kids learning site?” 

It’s too dumb to say that you’re comfortable like a hug, or make him feel all gooey and warm inside with a simple flash of that pretty smile. It’s too forward to type how he thinks you’re the most beautiful existence yet, or that he couldn’t go on living without basking in your presence for at least a little. 

you’re a good streamer, very nice

Nice? That’s the best he could do? Christ this is horrible, you’re going to frown and he'll crumble to the floor never to be seen again-

“That’s really good to hear, hopefully you’ll keep feeling comfy.” You chuckle, taking his words to heart as a simple compliment instead of what they are: a bumbling love confession. “I’ll just be doing the same thing, but I can talk if you’d like..? Sorry, very new to this.”

do what you want, comfort streamer

Well that was cheesy and embarrassing, what if he weirds you out? You seem happy though, smiling brighter and even through the pixels he can see your subtle fidgeting. Maybe this won’t be too bad, as long as he chills the fuck out.

You continue playing, this time talking with him about everything and nothing. College, your classes, that one asshole in third, how disgusting fish is (this made him fall hard), and the intricacies of dating. Lando believes he was a tad obvious on that one, but after confirming that he’s the same age as you and not some creepy old dude or whatever, you seem to be reciprocating just a little. Or maybe he’s delusional.

Max would say the second one, even after everything. 

Eventually you do have to go, but promise to stream again soon and tell him all the gossip that's sure to happen after your sister's wedding. The screen goes black once more, you having gained five levels in the time you two had spent talking the others ear off. He sits back in his chair with a goofy grin, feeling like he’s well and truly relaxed. You’d gotten all shy when he’d mentioned how comfortable you’d felt to him. Like a soft pillow were his exact words, ones he agonized over for ten minutes afterwards in strict embarrassment even as you giggled. 

He’d wait as long as you like, internally promising himself to never miss a stream and keep you as his newest haven. Him as your biggest supporter and you as a warm beacon of calm. 

⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊🍊˚ 🧡୨♡୧ ⋅🔸˚₊‧꒰ა🟠໒꒱ 🍊‧₊˚

a/n: okay so this will be multiple parts, pinkie promise! I love them a lot even though I didn't get to show much of them much this chapter smh.

[world-of-aus]

The Arrangement - Chapter 4

Pairing:Mobboss!bucky x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Angsty Dialogue

Authors Note: I apologize immensely for the delay but my mental health has absolutely tanked in the last three weeks. I have fought enough to feel a semblance of normal and was able to put this chapter together. I hope you all enjoy, and look forward to the groveling and ass kissing our guys gonna do. Love, and many thanks, happy reading. 🤍

Bucky thinks he finally understands vividly the phrase ‘so close, yet so far’.

The two of you have been married a little over a week and it’s as if nothing has changed, he still barely see’s you despite the two of you living in the same house. You’re asleep when he arrives, and you’re gone when he wakes, and despite his best efforts, you’ve managed to avoid him at every turn.

He knows there is no excuse you could give him, no longer any reason for you to still be actively avoiding him the way you have. And while he’d give just about anything to have you at least talk to him about what troubles you, to enjoy his presence the way you had the night of your wedding, he doesn’t want to push when your discomfort is so obvious.

So he gives you time.

The first two days he gave you all the space you could have possibly wanted making himself scarce, but as the third came and went as did the days that followed, he found his patience running quite thin, an underlying hurt brewing deep within his chest.

Your close friends had all but advised against his plan to confront you.

‘She just needs time pal, she’s working through a lot of emotions, don't get a hot head because she’s coping in the only way she’s known, let her come to you when she’s ready.’

‘Listen, I’d avoid you too if I had to marry an ugly mug like yours.’

‘She’s conflicted B, she’s had her happiness ripped from her before, she’s been placed in uncomfortable situations without having anyone check up on her well-being, she’s putting herself first for the first time in a very long time. Don’t mess this up, because she won’t be the only one you lose this time around.’

He had taken their words to heart, but that wasn’t going to stop him. He just wanted to talk to you, to feel a sense of normalcy in your shared marriage, he wanted you to be happy, genuinely happy. Bucky wanted you to want to be in this marriage not because it was asked of the two of you but because it was something you genuinely wanted. He knew it was a lot to ask of you, but he would do so anyway.

Or at least he was going to try.

You're finalizing emails to meet with the other heads sometime this week when a knock stills your fingers on the keys and draws your gaze from the screen. You call out for them to enter, you weren’t sure who you were expecting but you hadn’t been expecting him. You only barely manage to conceal your shock.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” You question unable to help the way your eyes flicker to the time on your desktop, you were certain you had mastered the times you arrived home. Your eyes flicker back to his, “I was just about to make my way to the house I would have met you there.” You lie.

He offers you a smile that barely meets his eyes as he closes the door behind him, your heart races in your chest as he closes the distance between the two of you. You watch as he rounds your desk, he stops to lean against it, his eyes taking you in.

“Is everything okay?” you worry somethings happen, with his sudden appearance.

“I don’t know y/n, is everything okay?” he questions in return.

“Well yes,” you answer, “I was just -” He stops you mid statement, he doesn’t want another lie from you.

“Don’t,” he shakes his head, “don’t do that sweetheart, don’t hide behind another lie, we both know you’ve been actively avoiding me since our first night home after our wedding, and you’ve been doing so since we signed that contract Monday, and somehow that feels worse than when you would cancel on me when I was with your sister, at least then I wasn’t catching on to the lies you made to get out of it.” Your eyes shut on a shaky exhale, “Talk to me,” he pleads, worried you’ll continue to shut him out, “tell me what I can do to make this right. This isn’t what I want for our marriage I don’t want -”

Your eyes snap open, “and you think this is what I want, you think this is how I wanted our marriage to go?” you question looking up at him in disbelief. “There may have been a time where I envisioned vividly what our marriage would be like but – I,” you shake your head unable to speak on that night right now. “I don’t know how to do this,” you continue, “I’m not even sure how to feel because before all of this,” you gesture between you, “I was certain with all finality that you’d be nothing more than someone I called a friend, my brother in law, my sisters husband and I was finally coming to terms with that, I was finally starting to feel okay with it. But just like that night I’ve had the rug ripped out from right under me yet again and I’m scared Bucky! I’m scared that it’ll happen again, that I will get too close, get too comfortable – fall in love – and with a snap of a finger it’ll all be taken away. I can’t go through that again.”

I don’t think I’d survive a second time.

“Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it,” he knows he’s pleading again, but he wants to do right by you, he wants to right his wrongs. “You’re my wife now y/n your happiness is above anyone else’s, I made vows to you that evening, vows I intend to keep. Please tell me how to fix this.”

The tone of his voice almost breaks you, has your resolve crumbling.

“That’s just the thing B, I don’t know.” You answer truthfully. “How do I come out from behind her shadow if everywhere I look it reminds me of her, of everything she had, everything she took from me that should have been mine. I can’t even look at you without being reminded -” you shake your head looking away from his cerulean blues as you press your fingers into your eyes willing away the sting of tears.

You feel your chair being pulled to where he knows kneels before you, gentle hands prying your from your face. You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, “y/n, sweetheart look at me,” he murmurs, “please.”

Your eyes slip open, to find his waiting gaze, “you are my wife. And ill be damned if you feel anything but. Please give me the chance to give you the marriage you deserve the one you are worthy of, I know you don’t want too, and maybe I shouldn’t ask, but let me try, let me try to be the man that is worthy of you.”

He can see the hesitation in your gaze as you look down at your intertwined hands, “what if she comes back? Decides she wants you back.”

He runs his thumb along your wedding band drawing both your gazes there. “I made a promise to you, I recited my vows to you,” your gazes find one another, “I am faithful to you. My wife.”

“But what if -” he chuckles shaking his head, “There are not what ifs, I’m. Yours.” He’s squeezing your hands in his, “give me a chance, give us a chance, let’s try.”

Your hearts beating like a wild drum in your chest, “Okay. Let’s try.”

[telesilla]

Not gonna go out on this limb on a 25k post, but maybe it’s okay that kids today don’t know as much about using an actual computer as we do/did? Is it useful knowledge? Of course it is. So is using a sewing machine or being able to rebuild your VW with a copy of that one book every VW driver used to have. That’s not the right question—most practical knowledge is useful after all. The question should be “is it relevant to the way people live right now.” “How to Keep Your VW Alive” is a timeless fucking classic; my ex and I kept our copy long after he sold his VW. But I’m not buying a copy now because it won’t exactly help me keep my VW ID4 on the road.

And it’s funny, because I tend to read along with those posts and nod my head, because back in my day we HAD to know all that computer stuff. And then for some reason today, I remembered a conversation my mom and I had with my grandma in the mid 70s when I was a teenager. Grandma made my mom’s wedding dress. She worked at a department store doing alterations on foundation wear, which if you look at 1950s foundation wear, you’ll realize was both necessary and difficult. So she was shocked when I said most of my friends didn’t know their way around a sewing machine. “But how do you make sure your clothes fit?!” Well, Grandma, people don’t wear heavy foundation wear any more and clothes don’t need to be as tailored as they did back in the day—it’s 1975 and the only alterations I need to do is hemming my flares so they just touch the floor when I’m wearing platforms.

Now you can back up and look at the broader picture, the one that says, but your car should be repairable by you as long as you have clear instructions, and you should be able to alter your clothes or make your own, and yes, you should know how to organize the files on the desktop of your laptop. But the fact that for the most part it’s become easier and easier to just not do those things (if they can be done at all) isn’t exactly the fault of Kids Today. And it’s certainly not meeting them where they are or even trying to understand why they feel they don’t need that knowledge if, instead of looking at why they don’t have it and maybe even don’t need it, you just decry their lack of the Deep Wisdom.

[blossoms-phan]

tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3

hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show

my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe

the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe

role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil

phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure

i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao

the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol

they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not

oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶

and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever

sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo

the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.

this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3

(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)

[ghost-proofbaby]

SO SCARLET (IT WAS MAROON) - CHAPTER ONE: CLOSURE

“IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME, AND SEEING THE SHAPE OF YOUR NAME STILL SPELLS OUT PAIN.”

☆ pairings: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

☆ warnings: strong language, angst, alcohol consumption, minors dni

☆ WC: 5.1K+

☆ A/N: this will make a whole lot more sense if you've already read the one shot that this entire series is based upon! and thank you to @fracturedarkness and @munson-blurbs for beta-reading <3

thank you to my love @hellfire--cult for the divider!

masterlist

It had taken nearly two hours, and even as the aerial platform is finally lowered from scaling the side of the building, there are still remnants of the graffiti paint scattered across the crumbling brick. 

You’d watched the workers scrub at the rusted shades for ages, ignoring the new emails beginning to pile up in your inbox on the screen, only to be left completely dissatisfied. You hadn’t really thought the graffiti was ugly so to speak – it was just there. It was blatant and something that demanded to be seen, a stain on that stretch of wall that made up your desk’s entire viewpoint each and every day. And it wasn’t ugly, but it wasn’t pretty. 

You’d even been a little excited when you saw the cleaning crew. A little hopeful. 

But the hope had been wasted, as it always was, as you watch the crew give up the battle and the paint win the war. Go figure. Another day and another stain that can’t be erased. 

“You know, I’ve heard of dreadfully boring people watching paint dry, but never seen someone look so enticed by paint being removed.” 

You look up quickly from where your dead stare had zeroed in, a chipping splash of vibrant scarlet that hardly stood out against tired and faded red-turned-pink bricks, to face your coworker. 

“Ha-ha,” you deadpan, spinning your office chair so your entire body now faced her, “Have you ever considered a career change, Romina? Maybe you’re better off a comedian rather than an event planner.” 

Romina, your coworker, only smiles brightly at the monotone joke. She holds a mug of coffee in her hand as she rests her hip against the edge of your desk, lips pursed as she takes a slow sip from her steaming cup. The sharp, bitter scent of the coffee wafts across the space before she lowers the mug right onto your desk – completely disregarding the coaster available. 

Sure to leave behind a stain; a ring of light brown on your pristine desk. You can’t help but cringe. 

“Apparently they sent out an email about that new secretive project,” Romina continues on without addressing your sarcasm, “Said whoever’s got the account has been notified.”

“Awesome.”

“I didn’t get an email.”

“I’m sorry?”

Romina sighs, realizing you weren’t going to take the bait. “Have you received an email?”

You shrug in a silent succession of, probably not. 

Your pessimism keeps your hand from reaching out and wiggling your mouse as an attempt to wake your desktop computer back up. You highly doubt you were the one to be elected for this new project that had the entire office buzzing. You’d only been working here for a little over a year, hardly earning any attention with the small weddings and local business grand openings you had taken on during that time. 

And that was fine.

You were fine flying under the radar for the time being. It’s not that you weren’t good at your job — you were excellent at it, even — but whatever this top secret project was was the farthest thing from your expertise.

You didn’t do secretive projects. You did simple. You did small. The exact opposite of what you’d heard about this elusive opportunity. 

“Have you even checked?” Romina presses, leaning down and tapping your space bar herself, making the screen come to life before you could protest, “C’mon, babe! Aren’t you at least a little bit curious?” 

Another honest shrug. “Truthfully? Not at all.” 

She makes no move to grab her coffee cup as she pushes herself off your desk, standing over the screen now with intent and focus. All you can really think about is that damn faded ring that’s going to be left behind.

You really wish she would have used the coaster.

The login screen stops her in her mission, making her take a step back and wave you forward, pointing excitedly at your keyboard, “You know, I heard it might have something to do with a very popular band. One rumored to be dropping an album soon. Possibly the album release party. Doesn’t that sound dreamy?” 

Your stomach drops.

Romina is all wistful sighs and dreamy eyes as she says it, still pushing that keyboard closer to you as she looks out the window you had been before her arrival. It’s clear she’s looking right past that stained wall. She probably doesn’t even notice the evidence of graffiti that was left behind. The marks are lost on her eyes; but she hadn’t spent hours waiting for it to all be cleaned away, to be fair. No, it’s clear the only thing on her mind is this popular band.

And you know which band it is. It’s not just the prospect of a larger project that has kept you out of this rumor mill — it’s the prospect of the client.

Everyone knew you didn’t care for the band. Or at least, you said you didn’t care for the band.

Nearly a year ago, several coworkers had invited you to a sold out show. They had an extra ticket, and had so kindly extended it to you. A flag of friendship billowing in the wind, outstretched to you in such a welcoming manner. And you’d shot them down — you’d lied, and you’d said you had plans before you’d spent the entire night throwing your own personal pity party.

“I don’t think I’d be the first choice for an album release party, Ro,” you murmur as you finally tug your chair in closer to your desk. You ignore the knots forming in your stomach, that heavy weight that presses into your chest. There was no way you’d be assigned the project. You’d simply log in, show Romina, and then maybe she’d leave you alone, “I usually just take on weddings. That’s my forte. Not arranging open bars and booking rooftops for some shitty band.” 

Romina scoffs, “Some shitty band? I know you don’t like them, but Corroded Coffin is not just some shitty band.”

Corroded Coffin. The weight makes your ribs creak, makes your lungs ache. 

You swear she’ll notice the way you freeze in your typing. The mere mention of them, of him, curls around your body and easily triggers your fight or flight response. 

Well, fight or flight or freeze. A new option, a new and drifting cold, has made itself clear as ice keeps your knuckles from continuing to type in your password. 

It’s funny. You used to fight for them, then you’d flown as far away from him as your pathetic diner wages could get you. Clearly, only moving across a city you once thought to be so vast wasn’t far enough. You could move across oceans, and something in your gut tells you his ghost would only be a few steps behind. 

“You know, I still don’t get your issue with them, by the way. Are you just not big on rock music?” she asks, and you can imagine his offense and correction that it was metal, not just rock, “I get it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t know. Just seems a little personal, the way you avoid them like the plague.”

It is personal.

Your vendetta is so, so very personal when it comes to Corroded Coffin. 

When it comes to Eddie Munson.

His name echoing in your mind finally has your fingertips slamming keys again, suddenly eager to bring up your email and prove Romina wrong. To get her as far from your desk as possible and end this conversation before you can spiral.

“I’ve never been a fan of that type of music,” you lie through your teeth. You had been. You had been their goddamn number one fan once upon a time. 

Your work email can’t load fast enough when she continues on, “I’d argue they have at least one song for everyone. You just gotta give them a chance.” 

No, the voice in your head screams. I do not need to give them a chance. I gave him a chance, and he blew it. 

“I’m sure there is,” you grit out, those knots in your stomach wound so tightly they might just snap, “But not for me.” 

Never for me.

They don’t know. No one in your life now knew about your past, about your ex, about the truth between you and Corroded Coffin. 

They didn’t know that you’d been their first fan, standing in that stuffy garage at the Emerson’s residency through the scalding Hawkins’ summers. They didn’t know how you’d spent every Tuesday and Thursday night occupying a stool at the Hideout that had all but your name engraved into it. They didn’t know the way you’d packed up your entire life, the way you’d only moved to this cursed concrete jungle to see all of their wildest dreams come true. They were unaware that Corroded Coffin had nearly turned down the tour that triggered their breakout for you. All because their leading rockstar hadn’t wanted to leave you behind.

Funny how life works out.

Romina is unaware of your discomfort as she leans down over your shoulder to peer at the list of new emails you’d received this morning, “Oh, oh! That one! Click that one!” 

Her long, blood-red stiletto nail taps at the screen excitedly, pointing out an email from your boss with an eye catching subject line.

Meeting at Noon — New Project Assignment. 

“Holy shit!” Ro exclaims, getting ahead of herself before you’ve even clicked on the email. You can’t click on it. You’re petrified. “Oh, holy shit! You definitely got the project! Are you fucking kidding me?” 

For a moment, you’re silent, staring at the screen in buzzing shock. It rings in your ears and it blurs the edges of your vision, the weight of the possibility finally causing the first snap within your chest. 

No. No, no, no. 

You don’t want this project. Not the rumored client, and certainly not the attention that it has attracted from all your peers. No.

“We don’t even know if it’s going to be what everyone says it will be,” you choke out, white knuckling your mouse. Romina can’t see your face — she can’t see the year of practiced indifference crumbling so easily, “It- It probably won’t be Corroded Coffin, Ro. It can’t be. They wouldn’t assign me something so huge. Th-They probably just have another wedding for me. Maybe another bakery opening up in town — I think I heard about one on Third Street-“ 

Ro’s hands come down on your shoulders, giving what should be a reassuring squeeze, but it only smothers you during your breathless rant.

“Babe,” she emphasizes, “This is a good thing.” 

It’s not. It’s really, really not. 

But you don’t know if the project is what everyone has been murmuring about. You don’t know for sure that the email has anything to do with it. The contents of what your boss had written to you have little to no specifics; nothing more than a request to come to her office at noon to properly discuss the details of this assignment. So you convince yourself it’ll be fine, that it really is just about that bakery opening up on third street. You convince yourself to shake away any thoughts of chestnut curls and honey brown eyes. You convince yourself to untense your shoulders and smile up at your coworker, faking enough enthusiasm to satiate her until she’s walking away from your desk giddily, taking her coffee cup with her. 

Your eyes avert to the expected coffee mark that had formed a perfect ring on your stark white desk. 

Stained. What a pesky thing to become. 

—

“I’m not going out tonight,” you repeat yourself for the millionth time over the line, pinching the phone between your shoulder and ear as you opened your fridge to dig around for whatever leftovers you might be able to salvage into a dinner for the night, “I don’t feel well.” 

“But we need to hear about the new project!” Ro’s chirp comes over the line. You can hear the buzzing of a bar in the background. Glasses clinking, strangers chatting. Hell, you could probably pinpoint the song playing lowly if you focused hard enough.

You weren’t focusing on the call, though. It was the last thing you wanted to offer up your dwindling attention to, desperate to get off the line and resume your very exciting night of cold pasta with a side of whatever sitcom was running old episodes on the television. 

The phone nearly slips from your half assed attempt to keep it against your cheek as you sigh, “It went fine. I already told you guys it did. Nothing exciting, okay? It was the bakery on Third that’s opening up, just like I thought it would be.” 

A lie.

The meeting went anything but fine. Your boss, Lydia, has just been plain secretive. And normally, that wouldn’t bother you, but it meant your worst fears were coming true. 

The bakery on third wouldn’t have needed such secrecy, and they sure as Hell wouldn’t have insisted on you signing an NDA prior to even meeting and discussing the event you’d be planning. 

“It’s all just precautions,” Lydia had insisted as she slid that damn paperwork over to you, “Just to protect the client. They’re a bigger name than we’re used to dealing with. If you sign, we’ll have a proper meeting with them tomorrow and dig into all the nitty gritty.” 

“You phrase it like I have a choice,” you had muttered before picking up the pen.

You knew you didn’t. And Lydia’s smile had confirmed it. 

Romina continues on with more convincing, but you’ve stopped listening. There’s not a single thing she could really say now that your mind was made up — you were staying in tonight. 

“Ro,” you finally snatch the phone back up into your hand, straightening out as you pick out a random tupperware that you think holds chicken parm from that fancy lunch date you’d gone on over the weekend, “I’m not coming out. I’m sorry.” 

Complete silence on her end. You worry for a moment that you had been too harsh. 

“Okay,” she finally gives up.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” the word continues to echo back and forth between you two, “That’s fine. I’ll just have to bother you about it tomorrow. At work. Where you can’t use bullshit excuses to escape me.” 

You consider snapping back about how you absolutely still could, until you consider the fact that you have a real excuse, “Good luck with that. I have a very real meeting with… with a client.”  

You don’t even know the name of the client, technically. You can only guess. 

You still hope you’re wrong.

“Right,” she laughs over the line, “See you tomorrow, babe.” 

“See you tomorrow,” you repeat back, staring at your now closed fridge before you’re relieved by the sound of a dial tone, signaling that she’s finally hung up. 

What you should do now is plate the leftovers, arrange yourself on your sofa, and numb your mind with The Office reruns. What you should do is leave well enough alone and continue in your delusion. 

You don’t. 

It starts innocently; you do transfer the cold chicken parm onto a plate and you do curl up on your sofa before flicking on the television. You do set the channel to the reruns. You do – and you swear you do it all with the best intentions. 

But then your mind wanders. 

As you stare straight ahead at the television, you’re not processing a single image that flashes across the screen. Your thoughts are a bit preoccupied with different images, movies and snippets from a point in your life that now feels like a lifetime ago. Conspicuous dimples making an appearance from across the room at a joke you had made, unkempt curls flying recklessly in the driver’s seat beside you on late night drives with the windows down, wild eyes shining like sunlight through a whiskey bottle as he catches your gaze from a stage much smaller than what he must be used to now. 

Everything from before. Before the not-fight, before the fame, before the move. Images of when Eddie had been yours and only yours, not yet a precious gem to have to share with the world. 

“Are you busy tonight?” 

Your locker had been slammed shut by a hand that didn’t belong to you, knuckles adorned with familiar rings and distinct callouses along the fingertips. 

“Hello to you, too, Eddie,” you smiled as you clutched one of the unnecessarily heavy textbooks to your chest, turning to face the boy who stood impatiently at your side. He was all jitters, rocking on his heels and nearly incapable of standing still as his body buzzed with excitement.

It rolled off him in waves, contagious as he leaned into you, “Yes, yes. Hello, sweetheart. How was your day?” you opened your mouth to answer him, but Eddie comically steamrolled right on, hands waving erratically, “Good? Good! Excellent! Now, are you busy tonight?”

“I was planning to study for O’Donnel’s test-“

“So you don’t have plans!” he exclaimed, throwing an arm around your shoulders as one of the annoying warning bells chimed. He may have been in an interruptive mood, but he knew you hated being late to class — less about being anal about punctuality, and more about the stares you’d practically burn under from the attention of other students when you’d barge in on the teacher mid-sentence, “Perfect. Absolutely perfect. In that case, I have fantastic news!” 

You allowed him to guide you amongst the bustling student bodies, only gaining a few stares from fellow peers, “You do, do you?” 

He nodded before he reached out and snatched that heavy textbook out of your arms, “Here, let me carry that for you, darling.” 

“Darling?” your nose scrunched, “Oh, no. You’re trying to sweeten me up. What did you do?” 

“Nothing!”

Liar. The crack in his voice would have given him away if his hyperactive energy hadn’t already done so.

“Oh, really? Then what’s your fantastic news, rockstar?” 

His grin that broke at your nickname for him could have destroyed the Earth you walked on just as easily as it could have mended it. Something groundbreaking, something to churn the dirt and raise the dead. Something made of pure sunshine and static happiness. But the only thing that cracked was your chest as it tried to contain the residual joy it felt for him in that moment. 

“Well…” he trailed off, leaving just enough room for a suspenseful pause that could have suffocated the room without that damn grin on his face, “Let’s just say you’re looking at the frontman of the Hideout’s newest Thursday night entertainment.” 

You took a moment to catch on, Eddie keeping you pressed closely to his side as the two of you stopped outside of your next class. 

“Thursday nights?” you questioned, brain working overtime to piece together what he’d just said, “Wait, I thought you guys only played Tuesda-“

When you had processed what he had meant, all that animated elation that had been consuming him became shared. Every jitter in his bones became your own, your own lips speedily spreading into a proud smile to challenge his own.

“Oh, holy shit,” you gasped, “You guys got the gig.”

One more bounce of his heels, curls quivering with the movement as his arms fell from you and the two of you faced one another.

“We got the gig.”

“You got the gig!” 

People had been staring more obviously at the sudden rise in volume from you, but you hadn’t cared. Because in that moment, all you focused on was the eager boy in front of you, and the way your broken chest mended from the same grin that had burst it wide open, only for it to swell with inexplicable pride.

“We got the fuckin’ gig!” he shouted right back, laughter slipping from between his lips that started to echo your own. 

You were the one bouncing then, hands instinctively reaching out to press on his shoulders in gentle slapping motions, unable to contain or conventionally express this pounding excitement. 

“You got the fuckin’ gig!” you were just parroting each other now, but you were just as delirious as he was as that final bell signaling you were late rang out. That certain embarrassment you were sure to have to face had become a distant memory.

Eddie had wanted this for a while. He’d been bugging the owner of the bar on the edge of town about Corroded Coffin earning a second night of residency for months, only taking the repeated rejections as encouragement to ramp up his convincing charm. You’d seriously doubted it would work, but had never voiced the concern aloud to Eddie. You’d always figured that the worst that could have happened would be another no, fuck off, kid. But the best that could have happened had been this — he would be told yes and secure his band two weekly performances at the Hideout rather than just the single one they played before. 

You didn’t know it then, but it was the first step down the path that would lead to inevitable heartbreak. 

“I haven’t even told the guys yet,” Eddie admitted once the two of you calmed down to the best of your abilities, “I… Uh, I wanted to tell them after school today. Was wondering if you might, I don’t know, maybe- do you wanna be there when I do?” 

And that made sense. Eddie inviting you made sense when you attended every single band practice in Gareth’s garage as religiously as he did. When you knew every word to their whole three original songs even better than him at times. 

He wanted you there. You were important to him, to the band, and he wanted you there. 

“I- Is that even a question?” you stared at him in disbelief, “Of course I wanna be there, you fuckin’ idiot. I can’t believe you told me before you told them, honestly.” 

His demeanor softened, the ghost of his exuberance still stubbornly lingering. But your eyes were on him, glowing with such high regard that it was impossible to not let it creep beneath his skin and trigger a blush across the bridge of his nose. All that love, all that pride. So genuine it could have made him cry. 

“Of course I told you first,” he whispered in a finally empty hallway, “You’re always the first person I tell any good news to, sweetheart.” 

When had you stopped being the first person he shared his forthcomings with? 

Probably the day you had decided to leave him, leave the entire life you two had built together, under the guise of best intentions. 

The TV continues to play as you stare at the wall, mind and heart alike locked up with nostalgia. The plate of leftovers has long since been sat down on the coffee table. 

You hadn’t let yourself reminisce like this since the very first night you had spent in your apartment. That first night, you’d allowed yourself to wallow. You had sat on this very same sofa, the entire apartment pitch black as you weren’t brave enough to turn on a single light and face yourself, and told yourself that any and all tears or regrets had to be purged that night. A funeral for all that you had lost, a single night to mourn all that you had left behind. 

Clearly, one night was never enough to let go of years of memories – of love. 

You don’t shut off the TV as you impulsively grab your phone, not thinking the action through before you do the one thing you had forbidden yourself from over the last few years; you’re going to Google search Eddie Munson. You’d created the rule as a make-believe step in the right direction. You told yourself if you didn’t google him, if you didn’t track down his every move after you’d left behind the damage done, then you could move on easier. 

From the first headline, you realize that it might have never been about moving on. 

FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN? HAS EDDIE MUNSON, LEAD SINGER OF CORRODED COFFIN, FINALLY GONE TOO FAR?

EDDIE MUNSON — ARRESTED AGAIN?

HOTEL COMES FORWARD ABOUT DAMAGES DONE BY ROWDY ROCKSTAR EDDIE MUNSON

HOW TO BURY A CAREER: A DETAILED TIMELINE OF CORRODED COFFIN’S EDDIE MUNSON’S DOWNFALL

“EDDIE MUNSON GAVE ME A CONCUSSION” - VICTIMS OF THE ROCKSTAR’S CLUB TANTRUM COME FORWARD.

Each headline sends your head reeling, eyes widening impossibly without even clicking on the stories. 

The boy you had known wouldn’t have done half of the things these accusations stated. Violence, trashing hotel rooms, public temper tantrums taken too far — it doesn’t feel as though you’re reading about someone you once knew, someone you once loved. The man in these paparazzi photos is a stranger, completely unrecognizable with his red eyes and middle fingers held high. 

A particular photo catches your attention. He’s standing outside what you assume is a club, in handcuffs. His hands are locked behind his back, an officer not far behind and his face bathed in glows of blue and red lights flashing from a car half blocking the camera’s view of him, and he’s grinning with dead eyes squinted to the sky. It almost looks as if he’s midlaugh — as if the entire scene was funny to him.

The one time he’d nearly been caught while pedaling drugs for Reefer Rick back home in Hawkins when you’d still known him, he had nearly burst into tears. Had panicked as he scrambled to shove everything, even just the weed, into every possible hiding place within his van. He hadn’t laughed in the officer’s face; he had been petrified, face transforming to that of a terrified little boy as you had told him to calm down and play it cool. 

You should stop scrolling. But you can’t.

Another photo, one that makes your chest echo with another hollow pang. It was clearly taken without him realizing it, the quality atrocious as the camera had attempted to focus in on him through a balcony sliding door of what must be a hotel. But despite the terrible blur, you can clearly pick out the details that were meant to be exposed. 

A speckle of white coating the ring of his nostril. Made even more obvious by that midday sun shining in on him. 

It was clearly the middle of the afternoon, and Eddie had clearly been caught snorting cocaine.

It’s a bit much. You haven’t even scrolled far enough to catch sight of all the pap photos of him with different women, or the photos of him clearly inebriated at major events that had been meant to celebrate him and the band’s success. You lock your phone, you set it down on the table with the screen facing down. You hardly recognize him. 

The reality is you had never googled Eddie for the same reason most won’t look at the corpse of loved one’s at open casket funerals – you wanted to remember him when things had been good. You had wanted to convince yourself that you still knew him, some version of him, and that he hadn’t become a total stranger.

But, really, you’d known the moment you had walked out of that once shared apartment that you had lost the privilege of knowing him. Of loving him. The moment he had stopped telling you that he loved you, you had known something between the two of you had died. Losing Eddie hadn’t been a sudden thing — it had been a long, painful, torturous process. When all that love and all that promise had died, it hadn’t gone down without a fight. He had smothered it, but you had provided the extinguisher. You had pushed him to chase after his dreams, and you should have never been surprised when he did exactly that.

You should have never been surprised that one day, the space you’d claimed residency in in Eddie’s heart would become nothing more than an annoying prick to him. A thorn in his side, sharp and threatening all that he had worked so hard to achieve.

So you’d left. You’d left, told yourself it was for the best, and exited with more love for the memory of a man than the tangible person on the other end of that terribly lonely dial tone – on the rare occasions he did call. 

You didn’t know him. It’s a truth you should have long since swallowed, but hadn’t. Not yet. Not in the last two years.

Your appetite is gone as you stand from the couch and grab the leftovers, only pausing on your way to the kitchen to scrape the waste off into the trash can. What a waste. As you put away the plate into the sink, not bothering to wash or even rinse away the crumbs, you immediately grab one of your few wine glasses and set it on the counter. Drinking wasn’t the wisest idea, but your body has begun to move on autopilot. And it seems convinced that feeling the buzz from alcohol would be better than the feeling of nothing at all. 

You didn’t know him anymore. And the space you’d still let him occupy in your memories, whether you’d wanted to admit it or not, was now hollow.

You turn your back on the glass, still numb and still reeling as you open the fridge and pull out a half empty bottle of merlot, cork half peeking out the top of the bottle. You can see that stained bottom half, almost half hidden in a weak attempt to preserve the wine inside. Maroon. Deep, deep maroon bleeds up and feathers at the edges of that cork as you pull it out fairly aggressively, carelessly tossing it onto the white countertop and not watching it bounce as you pour yourself a drink. 

In your hollow staring off into the distance, you don’t realize you’ve missed the glass in your pouring until the chilled liquid splashes at your knuckles – until it’s too late. You panic, grabbing at paper towels and rinsing off your hand in the same breath, but it’s clear that it’s a useless battle in cleaning up the mess you’ve made. 

The damage is already done. As you soak up the wine and swipe away, a pink-tinged blotch is still left behind. 

Stained. What a pesky thing to become.

ghost's taglist: @emmaisgonnacry @figmentofquinn @bebe07011 @barbedwirebats @ayooooo0 @neverlearnedcivility @munson-enthusiast @digwhatudug @wow-cam @daddysmodifiedprincess2 @cancankiki @gothmingguk @nix-rose @thesesuggestedblognamesbegreat @chevelle724 @madaboutjoe @take-everything-you-can @josephquinnsfreckles @conquerwhatliesahead92

eddie's taglist: @capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @hideoutside @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin @ches-86 @alovesongtheywrote @its-not-rain

[huellitaa]

long list of little things to do for urself 🧸🎀🫶✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. wash ur bedding, towels, curtains, etc.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. fill up ur shopping baskets on every site possible

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. clean out cosmetics and skincare

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. start a project of something you love

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. browse cute pets to buy one day

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. impulsively rearrange ur space

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. light some candles (if u arent deathly afraid of fire)

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. clean out your purse and every day bag

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 9. make a pillow fort

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 10. redo all ur playlists and clean them all out

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 11. lay on the floor and sing ur fav songs for 3 hours

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 12. make a recipe book (even if u cant cook)

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 13. clean ur mirrors and windows

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 14. write a debate about a topic you feel strongly on

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 15. create some art to go on ur walls

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 16. stick up some old photos or cute things and decorate ur walls

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 17. polish ur jewelry

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 18. write a huge essay on something you know nothing about

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 19. watch a virtual concert (youtube - tiny desk is v good!)

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 20. make urself a big fruit platter

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 21. read a parenting book and see how you can incorporate the tips mentioned into how u treat urself

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 22. mend ur old clothes or get someone to help u fix them

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 23. read a book w a flashlight and happy music under a blanket

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 24. host a tea party w ur plushies and old toys

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 25. study ur horoscope for this month and how u can use it to ur advantage

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 26. go thrifting and window shopping and take photos on ur phone of the things you want to create a visual wishlist

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 27. sort through ur books, cds, clothes, etc.; organise and throw out!

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 28. perform a concert in ur bedroom of ur fav album ever

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 29. dress up and create the most elaborate, unhinged outfits you possibly can

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 30. start a blog or site on something you care about

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 31. contemplate ur core philosophies and question what is the meaning of life and what you're living for

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 32. spend all day reading a random pdf book ur never gonna find again

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 33. plan out ur dream wedding online

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 34. fully examine ur body and make sure everything's working and looking fine

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 35. create outfits within a specific theme and try them on

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 36. go online shopping for clothes and make outfits w the things you find even if you don't like them

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 37. make a playlist of all the songs u used to love when you were younger

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 38. build a tower out of stationery or anything you can find and make it as tall as you can

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 39. take a picture of something ur grateful for wherever you go

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 40. live out ur daydreams on pinterest and make random boards of random lifestyles or dreams you have or are interested in

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 41. organise ur digital storage like apps, google drive, documents, photos, desktop, games, consoles, etc.

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 42. randomly set a reminder for somewhen in the future that you can think of saying that everything will be okay

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 43. have a park day without ur phone and make ur own entertainment

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 44. find ur enneagram number, do ur myers briggs test, study ur birth chart, find out more about urself bcuz ur the most important subject you could ever study

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 45. write down ur biggest, wildest dreams with no bounds whatsoever

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 46. attentively track ur moods for a day or a few; take note of how ur feeling every few hours, note it down and ask urself what impacts it to change and fluctuate

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 47. educate urself in whats going on in the world right now

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 48. learn about the history of ur home town

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 49. create a list of all ur favourite things and rank them like cosmetics, perfumes, bands, foods, drinks, etc.

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 50. make a music video playlist to play on ur tv

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[spartanjames-bootsfirst-art]

Wedding over the weekend, then sick for a bit, so fell off the Inktober bandwagon. Decided to take a break from prompts and just relearn Clip Studio on desktop as opposed to phone like I had been working out of lately.

Happy with my results, but more work to do.

[ghouldump]

Oh my goodness I’m so used to writing kind of forgot how to request?? would love a fic with Armand where he reveals his true nature not the soft version that he shows the reader but what he doesn’t and how she responds to that happy ending possibly?

I just need more Armand please and thank you

🎀💕🌸

Beautiful Deception, Untold Truth | Armand x Reader

ෆ remembering the truth sometimes hurts, but perhaps love will prevail

your request immediately made my mind go to beautiful deception, so i hope you don't mind me twisting that story a bit. so happy to be back writing, enjoy! xoxo

Waking up, you lightly groaned, looking over at Armand. He slept soundlessly, his arm loose around your waist. Slipping away from his grasp, you climbed out of bed and quietly made your way into your private office.

A large desk, a swivel chair, an up-to-date desktop, and a few wall decorations — although, you both preferred the minimalist scenery. Clearing your throat, you sat in the chair, rubbing your temples. Opening the drawer, you stared at the envelope, sent from Daniel Molloy.

‘I’ve done some digging, and I found something I thought you might enjoy,’ the note said, attached to the envelope.

Pulling the photos from inside, you had examined each one over a thousand times, since getting them a few weeks back. Older photos of you and Philip, some from your short time at the Grand Cabaret, a few random photos from your time in Paris, and your wedding photo. You remembered the day so vividly, your mother had been so angry, but you were delighted to be marrying him. You looked like a princess, and he, a prince. You could recount times people praised how beautiful of a pair you were together.

“You couldn't sleep?” Armand asked, standing at the door, making you jump.

“No,” you shook your head, laying the photos face down.

“Perhaps I should’ve cuddled you better,” he said lowly, peering at you.

“You were perfect, I guess I’m a little anxious about the book,” you said, as you began to put the photos away, a small note catching your attention. On the back of the wedding photo was written, try to remember your last night.

“There is nothing for you to stress about if anything, they will critique Daniel’s repetitive usage of the word, monster,” he said, watching as you slipped the envelope back into the drawer, accepting his hand. Grinning, he brought your fingers to his lips, placing a soft kiss on each knuckle.

“I love you,” you whispered, as he led you back into the dim bedroom.

“Not nearly as much as I love you,” he said, his free hand snaking around your waist, pulling you closer.

“You don't know that”

“I’d burn the world down, and build it back up, to prove my love for you,” he said, smirking as you raised an eyebrow.

“And I would be by your side if it took an eternity,” you told him.

“I know, come now, you need your beauty sleep,” he said, watching as you climbed into the king-sized bed, before following suit.

Wrapping his arms around you, he kissed your forehead, as you closed your eyes, allowing sleep to embrace you, and welcome the deep slumber.

“Remeber your last night”

“Daniel?” you sat up, confusedly looking around, but were met with utter darkness. Armand was nowhere to be found, your penthouse, both gone. Standing up from the bed, you fell into a pit of nothingness. Screaming, you flailed around, grasping at the void. Falling onto the cushion, you sighed in relief.

“Y/n, remember your last night,” you heard again.

“What-

Sitting up, you froze as you stared at…you, or what looked like you. At the small desk, you wrote a letter, a few tears slipping from your eyes. Suddenly, it dawned on you, the night you were turned into a vampire. Your last night alive. It was only a few more moments before-

Suddenly the door burst open, Philip rushed in, terror covering his face. Locking the door, he immediately went to the small kitchen, pushing the stove in front of the door.

"Philip?"

You stood from the bed, watching him. It seemed like they couldn't see you, as you analyzed the situation.

Hearing his name, his head jerked around as he met your gaze. Rushing over to you, he stopped, seeing you back away nervously.

"Baby, please, I won't...just let me explain," he said, opening the manila folder.

"It started when you wanted to work at the Cabaret, I was so excited for you. You were going to have an entire page. My thoughts- I can’t explain how, but my brain began to get distorted and fuzzy, I can hardly think. Before I knew it, everything I wrote always ended up on fire. I came to your show and I noticed someone"

"You came to see me perform?"

"Always, this is your dream, and I will always support you, I promised," he said, pulling out the stack of photos he continued.

Rubbing your temple, it was like a memory was unlocked. He had come to your second show, the loudest voice and clapping in the audience, as he let everyone know the beautiful star was his wife. However, before you could ever see him, you would become distracted, talking with Armand — who brought along the extravagant bouquet of flowers.

"This man, he has come to nearly every show, since you’ve started working there. Front row, bringing you flowers," he showed a series of pictures of Armand, some of the photos you were in. His arms around your waist, his lips pressed against your own.

"Philip-

"Just listen," he shook his head, stopping you.

"I went to his theater, to confront him, to be a man and win my wife back, when I found this, in his office," he pulled out more photos.

"He has been watching you since we arrived here, from the moment you stepped off that ship, there are photos of you. Then, I searched around, and what I found is incredibly disturbing. Those aren't plays, they're actual murderings," he cried, showing the hardly developed pictures of the coffins and corpses in a box full of rats.

"I think he has been getting in my head, he can’t possibly be a normal human. Since I began to suspect him, I've felt like another person is living inside of me," he said, wiping his tears, going to his knees, laying his head in your lap.

"I waited until they all settled in for rest and I set the hell house on fire, I could hear the screams of all of those monster. We have to leave, now, we can go home, beg your mother for forgiveness, have a start fresh, leave all of this behind," he stressed, standing up.

Moving to your shared closet, he began to rip all of your clothing from the hangers, throwing them on the bed. You stood with your hand on your stomach, trying to process the photos. Indeed, there were photos of you from the moment you stepped off the ship. You didn't want to believe any of these bizarre claims, but here was the proof right in your face.

Watching all of this unfold, you were trying to not accept what your memories were telling you. Armand wasn't the type to mess with someone’s head unless they pushed him to that point of anger. However, he had shared what his gifts entailed, and it was all seemed very familiar.

Unexpectedly, the stove was pushed out of the way, as the door burst open. Armand walked in, his hair slightly disheveled, the most horrifying glare set on Philip.

“Armand, stop it,” you said, but he couldn't see you, walking towards the you of the past.

"Armand?" you called his name, hesitantly.

"Y/n, run," Philip told you, as you jumped away from the table, the paper catching ablaze.

"Philip-

"Run, now," he shoved you, right as Armand grabbed him. His hands around his throat, lifting him off the ground. Philip struggled, trying to free himself, gasping as fangs came out. Armand seemed to be growling at him, before sinking his teeth into him, determined to drain every ounce of blood from him.

"Run," Philip strained, as you covered your mouth, rushing out the door.

“You’ll never have her, you think she’ll love you when you're a monster” Philip choked up blood. Your hand went to your mouth, as the tears filled your eyes.

“She’s already mine,” Armand said, before setting Philip on fire.

Turning to run out of the apartment, it didn't take long to see yourself limping, barefoot, sprinting toward the small store.

"Sir," you called out, as you jogged to him.

"No, no, I'm closing," he pointed at the sign.

"Please help me, he killed him, he's going to get me," you cried, as the man finally turned to face you, genuinely concerned.

"Come in," he said, letting you into the store. As you came in, he locked the door behind you. With the adrenaline coming down, you could feel pain in your foot from stepping into the glass.

"We have to hide," you told the man, tugging at his sleeve.

"You go," he pointed to the back, before he went behind the counter, pulling a shotgun out.

Limping to the back of the store, looking back one more time, you screamed as the door burst open, the shop owner being killed instantly. As the elderly man fell to the floor, you cried out, before he appeared in front of you.

"Y/n," his eyes softened seeing your tear-stained face, all of your makeup running down, mixed with the tears.

"Please, don't kill me," you cried, shaking your head.

"Shh, shh, there is no need to cry," he consoled you, forcing your head into his chest.

"Why did you kill him?"

"Because he married you," he admitted.

"What are you?"

"A vampire," he shifted his eyes as you looked at his face.

"They weren't acting," you shook your head, trying to shove him away.

"Not at the end, no," he confessed. Wrapping his arms around you, he walked you out of the store. You continued to try to fight him, but he was much stronger, holding you effortlessly. Following behind them, you wanted nothing more than to wake from whatever this was, to question Armand.

Lifting into the air, you gasped in fear, realizing he was floating, no flying. Wrapping your arms around him, you shoved your face deeper into his soft coat. He smiled as one of his hands held your head. As your feet came from off of the ground, you flew behind them, to the museum building.

"We were out hunting, when I noticed you, stepping off of the ship. I could hear your precious thoughts, you were sure you'd be the next big star. You had dreams with no plan, so l sent Edward to you, and I made sure he paid you like the star you are," Armand said, as his feet landed on top of the museum.

"I showered you with praise and gifts of all kinds, and yet you left every night, going back to him, what is it that he could possibly have that I couldn't give you?" he asked, his eyes drowning in melancholy.

"He was my husband, he didn't have much, but I loved him," you cried.

"He wouldn't have given you the opportunities you can have, that you deserve. He would work himself to death, not without cheating on you to fill the void within himself because he knew he could never give you the life he promised"

"You killed him," you continued to cry. Rolling his eyes, he felt himself growing frustrated with you. Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn’t remember him having that reaction.

"Y/n, I love you, I love you more than his wretched human mind could ever think to fathom. I can give you the eternal gift, lavish you, treasure you, why can't you see, has your love for me left so quickly?" he asked, as he grabbed your face, forcing you to look into his eyes.

Glamouring you, he hoped to find the truth, that your heart hadn’t turned cold at the sight of him. Wiping the tears from your eyes softly, his hand trailed to your lips, brushing against them softly.

As frustrated as you were with him, seeing the situation to be a little more tainted than you thought to be — his confession warmed your heart. After witnessing him gruesomely kill Philip, something you didn't remember, you knew the beginning of your beautiful companionship was soon to com-

“I could never love you, after all you've done,” you said, crying. Your eyes widened, where was this coming from? Then you realized, could this be the truth, had you forgotten what truly happened?

“As beautiful as you are, you are a foolish girl,” he said, his hand going to your throat.

“Philip was right, you are a monster,” you struggled to speak, as his hand pressed against your throat.

“I hand-picked you, I chose you over hundreds of ancient vampires, to be worthy of my love, and you want to throw it away over one human? Don't be pathetic,” he said, through his teeth, you could see the tears building up in his eyes, the angry expression set on you.

“I’d rather die,” you spat, making him scoff, releasing you to fall from the top of the museum. Turning away as you screamed, reaching to clutch the air, a single tear fell from his face. Holding your hand on your chest, you cried, screaming at Armand, unable to believe this was what happened, but as time went on, it became more evident that it was true.

Just as you jumped in hopes of trying to save yourself, Armand flew off the building, down to you. The flowers in the extravagant garden broke only a bit of your fall, but couldn't stop the fatal landing. Lying in the rose garden, a few thorns pressed into your skin, your breathing was shallow, as your blood painted the white rose red. Attempting to shake your head as Armand approached you.

“What have you done?” You cried, staring at yourself, this version of you felt unrecognizable, yet undeniable.

“Leave me,” you said, your breath ragged, blood leaking from your mouth, but he ignored your words, lifting you into his arms.

“I can’t let him have you in this life and the next,” he cried, the fangs coming out.

“No, no, p-please, Armand,” you struggled, crying from pain and refusal, if vampires were anything like the stories — they could turn humans into their kind.

“Look at me,” he said, caressing your cheek, as you shut your eyes, you would rather wait for death to collect your soul than join him.

“Y/n, look at me,” he commanded, you couldn’t believe your eyes, he had used his gifts against you.

Opening your eyes, you faced him, as he caressed your cheek. “You have no need to fear me, we will soon be companions, equals, I, your maker, and you, my angel. You won’t remember what happened tonight, but I will explain to you later. Your love for Philip was not genuine, nothing more than a childish passion. I may be a monster, but I love you. Centuries, I have walked this earth, hundreds of years, of yearning and desiring what was mine. I hate him, and I would kill him a million more times if it meant having this moment with you,” he said, a few tears slipped from your eyes, as you stared hypnotized.

"This will hurt for a short moment, but our eternity together will make up for it," he told you, softly pecking your lips. Leaning down, he hovered over you, as his fangs sank into your neck.

Falling to your knees, your hands went to your face, and just as you cried out, you fell through the ground. Except instead of slipping into the dark abyss, you sat up, back in your bed, alone. The windows open, as the moonlight shined. Climbing out of bed, you grabbed your phone and rushed to your office.

“Miss Y/n, your meals-

“Get away from me,” you shrieked, shutting yourself in the office. Dialing Daniel’s number, you paced the floor, stopping to grab the envelope from the drawer.

“Y/n?” Daniel answered, surprised by the unexpected call.

“I remembered, everything, like you told me too, I married a him, after what he has done,” you cried.

“I’ll catch the soonest flight out there, just, try not to kill him,” Daniel said, sounding exhausted, before ending the call.

Sitting down, you opened the envelope, pulling out the photos to stare at. Suddenly, the door opened, and Armand entered.

“You didn't want to eat-what is the matter?” his face softened, taking in your face, puffy and stained with dry blood.

“Stay away from me,” you stood, backing away, as he looked confused.

“Did something happen? Did you have a nightmare-

“I don’t even know who you are,” you shook your head, as he slowly approached you.

“Love-

“You couldn’t stand the thought of him having me in life and death,” you said, realizing crossing his face.

“Y/n, angel-

“No, how many times have you had me forget, changed the story, made me into your brainless pet,” you said, backing away from him.

“I know, and if I could go back and change it, then I would-

“But you can’t Armand, you killed my husband-

“I am your husband-

“You killed my first love, and killed me after,” you said, making him stop in his tracks.

“I love you, Y/n, and I’m sorry for my actions,” he shook his head.

“Get out, I don’t want you back here until Daniel arrives,” you screamed.

He stared at you for a moment, before nodding in acceptance. Backing away, he glanced at you once more, before he left the penthouse.

“Daniel, thank you for coming out,” you said, embracing him. He was taken by surprise before he slowly began to rub your back. You weren’t dressed in your usual extravagant fashion, wearing bland loungewear.

Opening his mouth to speak, he stopped as the headache was coming back. Turning his head, he met eyes with Armand who stood in the entrance.

“I appreciate this, the readers deserve the truth,” you told him, before you turned your head, looking to Armand.

“Y/n-

Ignoring him, you walked to the table in the study, watching as Daniel took out his laptop and notebook. Armand followed behind slowly, sitting across from you.

“Y/n’s memories were suppressed and changed by her maker and companion, Armand. As of 48 hours ago, she has remembered everything from that night,” Daniel spoke into the recorder.

“Armand, is there anything you want to say…” Daniel continues.

“Five hundred years, I’ve wandered, loving others, but never receiving that same love. I admit, that my past has stunted my empathy toward humans. If I wanted something, I knew to take it and you were no different. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew, I would love you forever and unconditionally. As much as I desire your forgiveness, I will not force it. I ask that you remember after you were turned, our first hunt together, first time making love, our matrimony,” he said, his gaze focused on you, as the tears built up in his eyes.

“How different is your reality, from what you were told?”

“He was…unfamiliar and gruesome. He had been in Philip’s head for months, before it happened,” you said, turning your head. You couldn’t stomach talking about it, let alone looking at Armand — who couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Now that you are aware of what is true, has future changed? Do you see Armand still being a factor in your life?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, as he widened his eyes, staring between you and Daniel.

“You don’t know? Perhaps a legal separation or divorce-

“Divorce? Y/n, none of this is necessary, love,” Armand interrupted.

“You set Philip on fire, and threw me from the top of a museum-

“I didn’t throw you”

“Oh, I’m sorry, you let go after I called you a monster,” you replied harshly.

“Why did you do it, Armand?” Daniel asked.

“I was angry, it isn’t an excuse, but I was. He- Philip had burned down the theater, and the woman I loved, sided with him. I let her go, but the thought of her being with him again, I detested, when I needed her. My piece of humanity, only hours with her, left my cold heart feeling more alive than it ever was. When she hit the ground, I heard her bones break, her crying, it shattered what was left of my soul. I couldn’t believe what I had done to my angel, I had to turn her. I am sorry, but making you my fledgling, I will not apologize for, you are my greatest creation,” he shook his head, looking away as a tear fell.

“I need a moment,” he continued, standing to leave, as Daniel paused the recorder.

“How are you?” Daniel asked, hesitantly. You sat stiff but upright.

“My heartbeat is synced with his, he has been all I’ve known for almost a century, I just…don’t get it,” you said, accepting the Kleenex from Daniel.

“On your blog, you explained how ruthless the vampires were and how he seemed different, ‘Armand was my shield, he was feared by many, and being his companion, I was safe’,” he quoted.

“Yes,” you nodded.

“And suppose you forgot that he was a vampire of that time, he too was just as heartless, if not perhaps more. I mean, he had done a fair share of generosity, but it was all for personal gain”

“I don't understand what you're saying Daniel,” you told him.

“I am simply trying to break down every perspective of this story”

“You were having an emotional affair with him, while he pulled the strings behind the scene, sounds like something he'd do. I just have to ask, what hurt your worst, was it him killing Philip, or killing you?” he asked. Opening your mouth to speak, you stopped as Armand entered the room, keeping his eyes down. Pressing play on the recorder, Daniel cleared his throat.

“We left off with Armand’s excuse, although, he didn't explain why he wiped and changed Y/n’s memory. Would you like to elaborate on that?” Daniel asked him, making him glare at him. Groaning, he held his head, feeling another wave of the terrible headache.

“Stop it,” you yelled at him, catching him by surprise, before he put his head down.

“If she didn't remember, then we could pick up where we left off. As monstrous as it seems, it was very simple. My hatred and jealousy for him was far too strong, it was bound to come to pass. I apologize, Y/n, you did love him very much. I just ask that you would look past all of this and see that you were and will always be my angel,” he said before he walked away.

“Armand, you can't just- and he's gone. Armand has left the penthouse, and no longer wants to discuss what happened,” he said, before pausing the recorder.

“Continuing where we left, what hurt worst?”

“I-I don’t know, I would say him letting me go, he was my haven, and to just release me. The look on my face, as I screamed, reaching for him, I was so afraid,” you stated, as he quickly made a small note.

“Are you able to continue tonight?” he asked, setting the pen down.

“Of course, I will be fine,” you nodded, as he pressed play on the recorder.

“Now that you remember your concealed memories, start from where they had been changed”

“I was writing a letter…”

Waking up, you lightly groaned, looking over at the bare space. Your undead heart ached at the lack of his presence, despite your anger towards him. Two weeks had come and gone, the longest you had been away from each other, and as concerning as it may have been, you missed him, dearly.

Sluggishly climbing out of bed, and leaving the room, you couldn't remember the last morning you had been asleep, or the night you’d been awake. Raising an eyebrow at how chaotic the house staff seemed, you tried to think of what made today special.

“What is going on?” You said, stopping a staff member.

“I-for you miss,” the young girl said, directing you to the folder on the nearby table.

“This is a will…” you frowned, staring at the paper inside.

“Yes, from Armand, I believe he left a note,” she nodded, hesitantly. Flipping through the pages, your frowned deepened, skimming the contents. All of his assets going to his spouse, you. Just as you were about to question his motives further, you noticed the small note against the folder.

My angel, a star I thought was only meant for my stage when in reality, you are worthy of much more. Selfishly, I have sheltered you away, when you shine brightly. This time away, although agonizing, has given me a chance to think. There are no excuses I have for myself, I have found myself guilty, and I will deliver justice for you. To experience only a small amount of pain I have caused you is all I can lastly do for you in my final moments. You have made me feel more alive in our century than when I was mortal. I’ll love you in this life and the next, Armand.

Your fingers traced his unique cursive handwriting, as the bloody tears hit the paper, smearing the ink. It looked and felt fresh. Despite being so angry with him, you didn’t want this for him. He had done heinous things, but no vampire was innocent, and you still loved him.

“Do you know where he is?”

“I believe he may be on the roof,” she said, her eyes widening as you rushed out of the penthouse. The sun was set to rise shortly, and you had to get to him quickly.

Anxiety crept up from the depths of your stomach as you ran to the rooftop. Your time in Paris flashed across your mind. First meeting him, the terror as he murdered Philip, the first time he brought you flowers, the fear as you learned that he was a vampire, your first kiss, the pain caused by his fangs as he made you into his fledgling. He consumed your mind and you didn't know if you could take losing him.

“Armand,” you yelled, as you rushed outside.

“Has this view always been this beautiful?” he asked, his back to you.

“Come inside, Armand,” your breath hitched as he faced you. His beautiful stained with dry blood.

“I hurt you,” he said, disgust flashing across his face.

“I know, but you’ll hurt me again if you do this,” you told him.

“Releasing you from my grasp is what you need most,” he said, as you anxiously watched as the sun inched close and closer.

“What I need is for you to come inside with me, now,” you yelled at him, tears pouring from your eyes.

“Go inside-

“If you won't come along, then I will stay,” you argued.

“Y/n, don't be absurd”

“I forgive you, is that what you want to hear? It was a stupid mistake almost a century ago and if you can't accept that, then we will meet the sun together,” you said, as the sun began to move up your legs.

“Please, Y/n”

“No, I will not leave you to burn-

Armand hissed as the sun moved up his arms, but as it came across your skin, you immediately screamed. It burned, it was excruciating. In an instant, Armand had you in his arms, bringing you inside the building.

“I’m sorry,” he comforted you, examining your arms, as he held you close.

“Don’t go,” you cried.

“I won't,” he reassured you.

“Make me forget-

“No-

“Just once more, I’d rather oblivion than another moment of this mental warfare”

“I am sorry”

“I know,” you said, as he lifted your head, to meet his eyes, as he began to wipe your memories.

“Let me get this straight, you're recanting everything you told me?” Daniel yelled over the phone.

“Yes, I would like to keep the original story, Daniel, I will be sure to reimburse you for the inconvenience”

“Where is this coming from? What happened to the readers knowing the truth?”

“The truth is subjective, depending on who is reading will determine what they think is true. I will be in contact soon, bye now,” you said, ending the call.

“Daniel wasn't very happy with me,” you pouted, accepting the champagne glass, filled with blood.

“He will get over himself,” Armand said, as his hand wrapped around your waist.

“I suppose, I still feel bad I’ll have to make it up to him,” you said, leaning into his chest, as you both stared off into the beautiful lights of Dubai.

“Perhaps and what would you like to do about his gifts?” he said, motioning to the stack of old photographs.

Glancing over that the wedding photos, you picked up the only picture that included your mother and brother. Turning back to the window, the stack caught ablaze, crumbling into ash. Armand tensed up at the action, but you turned to face him, kissing his cheek.

“I love you”

“Not nearly as much as I love you”

“Oh but I think I do”

“Really now?”

“I think I could show you better physically, than with words,” you said, lust clouding your eyes.

“After you, angel,” Armand smirked, as you held his hand, leading him to your shared bedroom.

Guilt lingered at the back of Armand’s mind. He was inherently selfish, it was his prerogative — but you were the same. You didn't even realize you were just as messed up as him. You preferred having your memory wiped than to recognize the monster he was. The truth, your past, and death would remain untold, as you accepted your perfect life with Armand — your companion and maker, a beautiful deception.

a/n: guys, it feels so weird posting again lol, i enjoyed my break, but i missed writing on here so much!