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for safe keeping
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omgomgomg
RELAX MASTERLIST
18+
Nerd!Frat!Bucky x Reader
Series Status: Completed
Things with Bucky are easy, and he's the sweetest guy you've been with. But when you throw in a bitter roommate and untold secrets, things get real hard, real fast.
Series Warning: Nerd!Frat!Bucky x Reader, mature and distressing themes, friends to lovers, fluff, soft!bucky, smut, angst.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
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this made bombing my math test feel better thanks man 👍🏻
Motion Sickness
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason makes you cry after a fight
warnings: angst with comfort
“Jason—”
He waves you off immediately, “No, I’m not your problem, okay?”
Your arms drop, “You’re not a problem at all, that’s not what I’m saying—”
“Then what are you saying?” he challenges.
You almost bite your tongue but then decide against it, “I’m saying you’re being an asshole right now just because I tried to help.”
He’s angry and you’re someplace in between desperate and tired, but you push on, hoping you’ll be able to solve this without an extended argument. To little avail though, apparently.
A tense exhale from him, “I don’t need your help, I don’t know how I can make it any clearer.”
“It’s not about needing it—”
“No, it’s about wanting it. I don’t want your fucking help,” he snaps. “I’m grown, I can handle my problems myself.”
You drop your hands to your sides, “Then what am I doing here, Jason?”
“I don’t know!” You can literally see the regret sweep over his face but he lets the moment consume him and the words linger anyways.
You know he doesn’t always think before he talks, especially when he’s mad. You’ve seen it plenty when he’s fighting with his family. This is the first time it’s shown up with you though, and while you know it’s not coming from a place of genuinity—it still really fucking stung.
Far from being in your control, tears slip out, more at his tone than his words, and you remove your gaze in favor of the linoleum tiles. He says nothing as you start to cry, which only makes the heat of the moment worsen.
“Okay,” You take a deep breath, pursing your lips. “You need to go away.”
There’s a long, hard moment of silence, but ultimately he doesn’t fight you on it, only exhales harshly and slams the door on his way out.
The resulting reverberation of the apartment has your shoulders shaking, tears falling onto your shirt.
You and Jason don’t fight often but when you do it’s usually about insecurities and fears coming forward. He’d been having a bad night to start with and all you wanted to do was make him feel better but he wasn’t willing to talk to you or let you do anything for him. He gets selfishly selfless like that, but you know why.
You know him, in and out. You could’ve anticipated this—you should’ve. You should’ve approached the topic more sensitively. And it’s not his fault, his life has taught him that it’s safer to believe that other people don’t have his best interest. You know that.
Yeah, you know him in and out, but he knows you in and out, too. He knows you’ve shown him nothing but kindness and generosity since the day you met and you’ve reinforced a thousand times how safe you are for him. But if he still can’t trust you to care about him, then what are you doing here?
You let yourself fall back onto the arm of the couch, huffing in defeat.
It’s nearing two in the morning when Dick awakens, the bandages across his abdomen digging into his skin uncomfortably. He sits up, bedsheet pooling around his waist. The ache of the bruising pushes him towards his old bedroom door before he’s even fully coherent, narrowly missing shouldering the door frame as he passes through.
He’s still half asleep as he thumps down the staircase, cold hands stuffed in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He’s so out of it in his blind search for painkillers, that he nearly misses the large shadowed figure huddled up on the couch.
Dick stills, blinking warily.
“What’re you doing here?”
His younger brother says nothing, only continues to stew in the shadows, staring at the rug.
As his eyes adjust, Dick takes in his appearance: messy hair, tired eyes, only clad in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
He rubs his eyes, approaching with measured steps, “What happened?”
Jason remains silent for a long minute before grunting out, “Got in a fight.”
Dick nods slowly, shuffling forward a little more to sit on the far end of the couch.
“What’d you do?”
Jason doesn’t have it in him to comment on how his brother immediately knew he was the issue. It just makes the entire thing hurt even worse. Instead, he tells the truth.
“Be myself.”
Dick says nothing,
When the silence persists, Jason elaborates, even though it’s the last thing he wants to admit to.
“I made her cry,” he says, voice below even a whisper. He hates it and he hates himself for leaving you when he knew he’d hurt you.
Dick nods, not saying anything. He’s definitely been there before, though he’s not nearly as volatile as Jason can be, so he can imagine how this likely played out. In any case, Jason has never responded well to being pushed to talk about his feelings so Dick lets him get there in his own time.
He’s half expecting to end up with no results at all, but Jason pipes up after a minute, voice broken.
“I don’t know what she wants me to do,” he rasps.
Dick takes a deep breath, adjusting his posture. “When girls are mad you give them space but when they’re sad you definitely don’t. Is she sad or mad?”
Jason exhales desperately.
“Both, I think.”
Dick nods, understanding.
“Then go home.”
Jason shakes his head, defeated. “She told me to leave. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“What did you say?”
He huffs, not wanting to bring the memory back up. “I basically told her to fuck off.”
“Yeah,” Dick drawls. “I wouldn’t let that simmer.”
Jason’s head snaps over to him. “She’ll break up with me?”
“No, I don’t—” Dick pauses, thinking over his words. “It’ll be fine. Just go home.”
Despite taking the long route on the way to the manor, Jason sped back home on his bike, now unwilling to leave you alone for another second longer than he had to.
He creeps through the front door of your apartment, proud and only a little hurt that you’d remembered to lock it.
The apartment’s mostly quiet, nothing but a lamp lighting up the front half. He can hear the shower running from where he stands, the waterfall noise awfully muffled from behind the closed bathroom door.
He bolts the door behind him, pushing forward towards the hallway. He approaches the bathroom door, noticing how there’s no light flooding out from underneath.
“Baby?” Jason calls it out quietly, like he’s scared to commit to alerting you of his presence.
He hears no response, but he knows you heard him. He knows you heard him in the same way that he knows you’re sitting on the shower floor, curled in on yourself under the sensory relief that the pouring water brings. He doesn’t know how, he just does.
So he leans against the door, listening closely, and calls out again, “Can I come in?”
There’s a solid ten seconds of silence before you respond, just barely audible over the cascade of water.
“Not right now.”
Your volume has him wincing, saddened and embarrassed that he’s the one that made you feel like this.
He reluctantly walks back to the bedroom with heavy shoulders, thudding his weight down on the mattress. He sits half folded over himself for the next ten minutes, thinking only of you, sitting alone in the shower with your thoughts.
He perks up considerably when he hears the water shut off, and after several long minutes, you emerge from the bathroom, towel wrapped around your middle.
He stands up when you enter the bedroom, hands stiff and awkward at his sides. You barely look at him, having trouble willing yourself to do more than glance.
Your eyes fall downward, your lips pursing. You instinctually move to clutching the towel tighter around you, more than anything because you don’t know what to do with your hands.
It makes his heart break to see you so out of comfort around him—because of him—so he gives you the benefit of privacy, turning around so you can get dressed. It kills him to do it, makes him feel like he’s just some stranger in your life rather than him. But he supposes that he deserves to feel like that right now.
Whether or not you wanted him to turn around goes unsaid, he can only hear the quiet shuffling of you putting clothes on.
He waits until the movement stops, after he hears the squeak of the bed springs and the faint sound of the sheets being pulled up.
He turns around again with a silent sigh, taking in the sight of you laying in bed, back turned to him.
He approaches slowly, stopping just before his knees hit the mattress. He notices quickly that the t-shirt you’d chosen was one of your own. He frowns.
“Sweetheart. Can I touch you?” His voice is soft and low, like he’s trying to coax you back out to him.
It takes a long few moments, but you nod.
He sits down on the bed, still hesitant to go through with it.
“Will you turn over?”
An even longer pause and you’re flipping over to face him. You don’t make eye contact, only look blankly past him. Your blinks are heavy, and even in the dark, he can see that your eyes are still bloodshot.
He brushes your hair back, his fingers feather-light against you, like he’s scared to touch you too harshly. Like he’s touching porcelain.
He lets you hold the silence for a while, reasoning with himself that you’ll talk when you’re ready.
You let it go on longer than he’d hoped, past the point of him knowing what to do with it. He’d hoped you’d yell at him. He can take that, he knows he can. He can see plainly that you’re thinking deeply and wants more than anything for you to say it, scream it if you have to.
He knows he deserves it and he frankly would take anything over the silence. But then again, he doesn’t deserve the reprieve, does he? No, but he’s not strong enough to deny himself the chance to hear your voice.
“Say it,” he urges. “Please.”
Your fingers tap against the bed sheets for a moment before you sit up, almost defeated.
You face him, taking a breath and relenting. “I don’t like that you said that to me.”
He nods, brow deep. “Me neither.”
Your shoulders sag at that, and you feel stuck in the moment. You feel guilty too but you don’t know if you should. He didn’t mean it, you know that, and they weren’t his words, really. But the snap of his voice when he’d said it and the look on his face—it made you feel terrible. It still does.
You look awkwardly to the left, feeling heavily spectated by him and so hyper-conscious of all of your movements. The downturn of your lips gives way to burning in your eyes and before you can do anything about it, tears are spilling out.
Jason sees it immediately, his head lulling helplessly.
“Oh, baby. Please don’t cry, please.”
But that only makes it worse, the tears falling faster and heavier at his soft tone.
He forgoes asking permission and pulls you directly into his chest, a firm hand on the back of your head. It’s what you needed though, to be close to him right now.
“I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry, baby—” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a rough kiss as he holds you tighter.
You shake your head, sniffling. “It’s okay, Jay.”
“No, it’s not.”
That sentiment lingers for several minutes, as he holds you cheek to chest and rubs soothing patterns into your hair.
It’s not long before you’re able to fully relax against him, his touch feeling nothing short of therapeutic. Your breathing eventually levels out back to baseline and your thoughts start to find peace amongst themselves.
When you’re ready, you sit back from him, letting him see your face again.
He visibly winces as he scans over the tears on your cheeks, how they’re starting to stain.
You’re still upset, a little, but not nearly as much as you’re sure your face is conveying.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.
He shakes his head, “If I ever say something like that to you again, hit me. I’m serious.”
You drop your hand onto your lap, tilting your head at him with a serious look. “I’m not going to hit you—”
“Then break up with me. Don’t ever let somebody talk to you like that, especially not me.”
His voice is hard and you can tell the impact of his words have every bit of weight intended.
Your mouth closes and you waver unsure of where to go with that. Your gaze falls down to where your hands lie discarded on your lap and there’s a palpable shift to the air in the room.
“Hey.” He pushes your chin up to make you look at him, “Listen to me. You’re the love of my life. You hear me? I’m supposed to take care of you, make you happy. I don’t…I can’t talk to you like that. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Your eyes flicker back and forth across each others and you can see the genuine sincerity etched plainly across his face.
He processes the comprehension across your own before his jaw tenses for a moment and he adds, “Nobody’s gonna talk to you like that, much less me. Yes?”
You start to nod slowly and he mirrors you until he’s convinced of your belief in the statement.
He rubs calm circles into your thighs as you both sit with the conversation, the light sounds of each others breaths the only sound heard. This silence isn’t the same as it was before though, it’s safer, more comfortable. It’s familiar, if not weighted.
“I love you,” you tell him quietly.
His eyebrows furrow like his heart was just shattered.
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
🦟 if you don't reblog things i'm actively sending bad vibes your way 🦟 and maybe also a plague
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MY BABIES 😭😭😭😭😭😭
For the Love of the Game - Masterlist
Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol/drinking, Mild language, Angst, Minor injury, Smut (Minors dni, marked with **), Enemies to lovers trope!
a/n: This series is now complete :)
✶ Part One ✶
✶ Part Two ✶
✶ Part Three ✶
✶ Part Four ✶
✶ Part Five ✶
✶ Part Six ✶
✶ Part Seven ✶
Drabbles/One-shots (chronological after the main series, excluding the prequel)
Bucky realizing he’s falling in love. Prequel one-shot.
First time**
The fight
Bucky gets injured during a game
Going pro
What You’ve Got
In seven years
💙⚾️Playlist by @buckystarlight
#bucky barnes x reader#snailpebbles personal favs 🙂↕️#i realize i may have a slight obsession#with bucky barnes
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me honestly
Metal Arm Cupid
Summary: Bucky didn't know what to expect in the 21st century. But he definitely didn't expect cute girls to barge into meeting rooms and beat people up.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader
*****
Bucky made no attempt to stifle his yawn as he pretended to listen to the debrief (that was looking more like an argument to him) that was going on way too long for his liking, earning a sharp glare from Steve, but Bucky could tell that deep down, Steve wanted to hightail outta there too.
“Stop taking all the credit, Josh. I was the one who stabbed him. You just sat there and watched like an obese cow.”
Josh (Bucky thought his name was Jack until now) scoffed. “That’s Agent 16 to you, Avery.”
“It’s actually Avril, you little-”
“Agents, you better stop this instantly.” Fury narrowed his eyes at the bickering partners.
“Stop embarrassing me in front of the Avengers, Evelyn, and let me do the talking. Clearly you can’t because of those oversized donkey teeth of yours.” Josh paid no heed to Fury.
The girl (Avril?) gasped and her hand instinctively flew to cover her mouth. “Why you-”
“Okay, that’s enough.” A dangerously calm voice rang through the room.
All eyes flew towards Natasha, you looked like she was going to murder the next person who opened their mouth.
“This is why I don’t go on missions with sensitive baby agents.” She muttered in Russian.
Bucky cracked a smile.
“How come no one listens to me?” Fury grumbled.
“Probably because you aren’t a trained assassin with 20 different weapons hidden on your body, and I bet you also don’t know 5 different ways to kill someone with an oven mitt.” Clint whispered in Fury’s ear.
“It doesn’t matter who stabbed who, it matters what happened in the end. And in the end, I was the one you saved your ungrateful asses, so you can stop arguing like toddlers now.” Natasha growled.
Her eyes narrowed specifically at Josh.
Nobody spoke. Probably because no sane person wanted a bullet from Natasha’s gun in their head.
“You seriously couldn’t have done that 20 minutes ago?”
Of course, though, Tony Stark was far from sane.
“Shut up, Tony.” At least 5 different people said at the same time.
Josh cleared his throat, recovering from his mini paralysis stroke.
“No offense, but-”
Before Josh could get himself killed, loud voices outside of the door made everyone turn.
Honestly, they all probably would’ve turned even to watch a fly so they could ignore Josh’s excuses.
“Miss, I can’t let you-”
“I really don’t care, so move. Now.”
Bruce immediately sat up. “Is that Ace?”
“Oh, thank god.” Tony let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “I’m so bored right now, maybe she’ll make this actually interesting.”
Even though Bucky’s stay at the compound started recently, he had heard plenty of stories about you, the infamous ‘Ace’. To what he’d heard, you worked at the lab with Bruce and Tony, like a daughter to them both. You were an ‘intellectual sage’ (described by Barton), hence the nickname, Ace.
“I said, MOVE!”
“Banner, what is the meaning of this?” Fury ordered.
Bruce furrowed his eyebrows and completely ignored him. “What in the world is she doing?”
“Banner!”
“I SAID MOVE, DAMNIT.” A loud thud followed closely and the door was flung open so hard it practically ripped off of its hinges.
“Lord have mercy.” Bruce buried his face into his hands as you barged into the room, pulling along a terrified looking girl behind you.
Bucky’s eyebrows raised with interest as he took in your purple highlights, Converse High-Tops, and Gravity Falls shirt peeking out from under your lab coat.
“Look, missy, in case you haven’t noticed, this is a private meeting. I’m going to give you 5 seconds to leave before I have you escorted out instantly.” Fury demanded.
“Yeah, that’s cool, Patchy the Pirate, just give me a minute.” You weren’t even looking at Fury as you scanned the room.
“Ha! Patchy the Pirate! Laura’s gonna love this!” Clint smacked his hand on the table and leaned his chair back (and almost fell backwards if Steve didn’t catch it, but that’s not the point).
Fury looked like he was seriously contemplating life as you still didn’t spare him a glance, and your narrowed hawk eyes landed on someone behind Bucky.
He followed your gaze to meet Josh, who had raised two fingers in the air cockily to greet you and the girl behind you.
“Josh, you mother fucker.”
And before Steve could say ‘language!’ (yes, Bucky had caught on pretty quickly after Tony would say it every other sentence), you had crossed the room in what felt like just two strides and socked Josh right in the jaw.
The room erupted in chaos.
“Whoa whoa whoa!” Steve was up on his feet in a millisecond, his Captain America side taking over.
“That’s it, honey! Do it again!” Tony cheered.
“Is this some kind of Midgardian greeting that I have not yet been informed of?”
“Someone tell me what the hell is going on in my own meeting!”
“That was the best thing I’ve seen in my whole life.” Avril grinned.
Natasha didn’t say anything, but her face clearly said ‘girl, me too’.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” Sam chuckled from next to Bucky.
“Same.” Bucky muttered under his breath.
“Whoa hold up, did you just agree with me??”
“Shut up, pigeon brain.”
“Excu-”
The only thing that stopped Sam and Bucky’s cat fight was another punch to Josh’s precious face, this time right in the nose.
Bruce tried to reason with you from across the whole ass room, practically shouting over all the commotion as Steve tried to pull you away from Josh.
“Ace, sweetheart, why don’t you talk it out instead of going straight to violence? Doesn’t that sound like a better idea?”
“Sounds great, Bruce, but that’s not an option anymore!” You shouted back over your shoulder.
“Look, champ, it’s not right to randomly punch people like that!” Steve was still trying to pry you away from Josh.
“Look, Pops,” You mocked. “It’s also not right to cheat on your girlfriend with some random chick you ran into at a bar!”
Everything stopped.
Except Josh’s struggling from your grasp.
“He cheated on you?” Tony broke the silence, looking like he was going to blast Josh into outer space. “Wait, when were you guys even together? And why in the goddamn world would you date that guy?”
“Not me, dimwit, her.” You point your free hand that was not gripped on Josh’s collar at the girl behind you, looking ready to sprint out of there when all eyes landed on her.
“Just leave it, ma moitié, it’s not worth it.” She said quietly, her words coated in a thick french accent.
Bucky recognized her as the nice agent who gave him a coffee last week after Sam ‘accidentally’ knocked over Bucky’s.
“Just leave it? Absolutely not, hun!”
“Listen to her, Ace.” Bruce pleaded.
“No! This sleazy bastard cheated on my best friend! No fucking way! Literally, who the hell would cheat on a cute french girl?”
“Ace, violence isn’t the right way to-”
“Excuse me?” Josh’s voice rang out, sounding like someone was holding his nose closed shut. “Can someone get me an ice pack?”
You whipped around towards him.
“You. Want. An. Ice pack.” You restated, shooting daggers- no, 7 inch sharp kitchen knives at him.
“My nose hurts.” Josh rolled his eyes. “Y’know, after you turned all Crazy Psycho Lady on me and broke it.”
“You know what?” Your smile dripped with bitterness and sarcasm. “How about I punch it again so it’ll go numb and it won’t hurt anymore?”
You reached your arm backwards to land another punch, but Steve rushed to grab you again, and the chaos resumed.
Tony was instructing you to “kick Steve in the balls and resume beating the shit out of Josh”, while Bruce was very strongly vetoing the idea.
Sam and Clint, meanwhile, were placing bets on how much the medical bill was gonna be.
Suddenly, Bruce rushed over to Bucky.
“Look, man, you gotta help me.”
Bucky looked at Bruce with wide eyes. “Me?”
“Yeah! If you tell her to stop, she would in a heartbeat!”
“Why?” Bucky knew where this was going.
“Because of your metal arm!”
Bucky’s heart sank. Of course you were scared of it. Everyone was. They thought it made him a monster.
So did he.
Even though he was so, so grateful to Shuri for trying to help him feel like a new person with a new arm that wasn’t associated with HYDRA, that bloody ruthless murderer that they made him into never seemed to leave.
He would always be him.
No matter how hard he tried, the memories followed him like a lost puppy, attacking at night when he was trying to sleep.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never shake off the imprint HYDRA had left on him.
No matter how hard he tried or how much Steve told him otherwise, Bucky was still a monster.
A cruel, cold-hearted, evil monster who killed the innocent.
Who killed innocent men, women, and children who didn’t deserve to be killed.
He was the one who deserved to be killed.
“She’s absolutely obsessed with it!”
Bucky choked on his spit.
“Wha-w-what?”
“She adores it.” Bruce rushed. “She says it’s, and I quote, the most beautiful and extraordinary thing to ever be made in history.”
Okay, so apparently Bucky did not know where that was going.
“Still not convinced?” Bruce groaned. “She thinks it’s the most amazing thing in the galaxy. She says it’s the ‘peak of engineering’. You can ask Tony if you still don’t believe me.”
Tony wasn’t extremely fond of Bucky, and neither was Bucky of him, so he decided to take Bruce’s word for it, no matter how much it shocked him.
She likes my arm?
Just because she likes your arm doesn’t mean she likes you, idiot.
“Uh, okay? So, um, what do I do?”
“Tell her to stop!” Bruce lightly shoved Bucky forward when he slowly got up out of his seat.
Bucky hesitantly took a step forward, his mind still trying to process everything.
Bucky maneuvered around Steve, tapping you - who was still out to get it for Josh- on the shoulder after a moment of hesitation.
“Bruce, I already told you, it’s too late-” You spun out of Steve’s grip, but your mouth dropped open when you realized it was not Bruce.
You stared at Bucky with wide eyes. But not out of fear.
Out of adoration.
He was struck with a sudden flash of nostalgia of how his mom looked at him when he gave her a card for Mother’s Day when he was 6.
"Oh, Jamie, I love it.” She had said as she read it with a soft smile.
And that same smile was on your face. “Um, hi there.”
He smiled back.
But not one of those fake smiles he put on to make Steve happy. An actual genuine smile.
And it felt good.
You smoothed out your coat, taking in a breath. “Can I help you?”
Steve stared at the two of you, a grin spreading onto his face.
“I’m not surprised. Those psychos are perfect for each other.” Josh rolled his eyes.
Neither of you heard him.
“Hi, I’m Bucky.”
“She knows.” Tony groaned.
“Shut up, Tony.” Your eyes never left Bucky’s. “Hi Bucky.”
He saw your eyes light up as they made their way to look at his metal arm.
Bruce cleared his throat loudly.
“So, um, Ace. The arm has been giving me a bit of trouble recently. I was wondering if you could maybe take a look at it?” Bucky glanced at Bruce before looking back at you.
“He means now.” Bruce added.
You looked like you were going to faint out of excitement.
“Y-yeah, of course.”
Bruce let out a loud sigh of relief.
“Um, actually.” Bucky started.
Bruce’s head shot up and started mouthing something to Bucky - probably something along the lines of ‘No! Get her out of here before she kills him!’- but he was busy looking at you.
“Maybe you wanna grab a coffee first?”
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oh my cuties 😭
My Everyday
Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate.
Word count: 5.5k
Warnings: Minor injury, idiots in love <3, some angst, pining
a/n: My first fic in a century!! Thank you so much for reading if you’re still here. Depending on how this does I hope I’ll have motivation to write more! College athlete Bucky never fails to get me inspired :)
Masterlist
~~
“What’s this punks name again?”
The breath you let out was long and excruciating. “I am not repeating myself.”
“C’mon, y/n,” Bucky whined, knocking his head back on the couch. He watched you bustle around the kitchen from his inverted vantage point. “How the hell am I supposed to swoop in and save the day if I don’t even know the kid’s name?”
“Okay, well, first of all—” the fridge door clicked shut with a swift motion of your hips “—he’s not a ‘kid’. I’m pretty sure he’s a few months older than you.”
“Semantics.”
“And second of all,” you stressed, pointing a butter knife in his direction. “There will be no ‘swooping in’. I’m going to have a nice date and you are going to go hang out with your puck rabbits or whatever they're called. There will be no thinking about me and no swooping in my vicinity.”
Bucky rolled his eyes, kicking up from the couch and rounding the kitchen counter to pick at your sandwich. You knocked his hand away several times, but you both knew it was futile. In the months you’d been living with the hockey player—who was far too big for the small, shoebox of an apartment you leased—you’d learned that food was non-negotiable for Bucky Barnes.
There were many other things you’d learned about him as well. He sang in the shower, but only when he thought you weren’t home. He had an annoying penchant for using your $30 lotion—again, when he thought you weren’t home. And he loved to throw his massive, smelly gear just about anywhere it would land right when he got home from every practice.
He didn’t really care if you were home for that last one.
Bucky was the last person you thought you would be rooming with when you posted that ad last summer. A small, quaint room previously occupied by your now engaged (and traitorous) best friend, you assumed someone like-minded to yourself would have taken you up on your offer. The price point wasn’t egregious and the building was relatively close to campus.
But weeks ticked by, and you started getting desperate. Your landlord wasn’t a nice lady, something you were positive she took pride in, and she decided that a rent increase was the perfect way to ring in the new school year. You were on the verge of destitution, and as it so happened, the only other person as desperate as you was the starting center for your college’s hockey team.
You hardly got along. It had taken weeks for your eye to stop twitching every time he tumbled through the front door at three in the morning, and even longer for you not to feel an infuriating aggravation at his random, nighttime smoothies. You supposed he probably felt the same about your cleanliness rules and your incessant reminders about trash days. Because Bucky was in charge of bringing the trash down those long, apartment steps. Not you.
But you’d be lying if you said things hadn’t gotten easier as of late. Conversation flowed more smoothly, things that made you seethe before were only mildly annoying, and Bucky was being… considerate? You weren’t quite sure what to call the random cups of coffee he brought home on occasion. Or his sudden urge to warm up your car when he had a morning class before yours.
There was also the case of that party last weekend. A frat party with far too many drunk men and not enough common sense, you had had the urge to leave the second you got there. But Wanda had dragged you along for the sole purpose of driving her home after she got hammered, so you were essentially stuck.
It was fine at first. Hot and crowded and loud, but fine. You kept a general eye on Wanda and scrolled aimlessly on your phone in the armchair you claimed. And then it wasn’t fine, because a man twice your size was encroaching on your space and unrelenting.
“What kinda girl comes to a party and doesn’t even wanna talk to anyone?”
“You want to come up to my room and watch a movie or something?”
“Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch.”
You weren’t even aware that Bucky had been at that party. It wasn’t surprising—the line between fraternities and sports was blurred at your college—but the space he took up as he intercepted the man in front of you was.
~~
“There a problem here?” Bucky posed, crossing his arms over his chest, his presence looming above your seated position. His weight shifted to his toes.
The man didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, you. Move.”
“Wanna fucking tell me what to do again?”
“Fuck you, man.”
A harsh shove to Bucky’s chest was all it took for a right hook to echo in the living room of the frat house. There was chaos. Grunts and screams from the drunk people surrounding the unnecessary fight created a cacophony of unpleasant sounds that seemed to get the attention of someone in charge. The man—Brian, you had now learned based on screams—was pulled back from Bucky and getting chewed out by some president or manager of something.
And Bucky was seething, chest rising and falling laboriously as he wiped at the new bruise forming on his face.
Fights were not uncommon. But this one had been about you. For you.
“Bucky?” you asked when the crowd calmed and Brian was no longer in the room.
You watched his back release its tight coil. He turned. “Are you okay?”
The words were almost lost in the noise of the crowd, but he was close enough that they created a tactile vibration across your skin. His pupils were dilated and he looked so disheveled it would have been charming if there wasn’t also a cut forming on his brow.
“Y/n.”
It took you a moment to realize that you hadn’t answered him. Your response fell out of you as if you’d been shoved. “I’m—I’m fine.”
He grunted, but it was more of a puff of air. “The fuck was that guy?”
“I don’t know,” you replied, realizing by the way you swayed that you had stood up at some point. “He just—”
“We’re going home.”
“What? I can’t, I’m here with Wanda. I’m driving her, Bucky, I can’t just leave.”
He grabbed your wrist, the grip achingly soft compared to the blows he was landing minutes before. “She left with that British guy she’s been on and off with. Asked me to tell you.”
That explained his random appearance. Your brows pinched as you took in the information, eyes cast down to the angry red marks marring Bucky’s knuckles. He’d been in fights before. So many fights. On the ice.
This was different.
“I haven’t been drinking—I can drive myself home. You don’t have to leave,” you shouted over the music now bumping in the room.
He didn’t respond, not verbally. He pulled you to his front instead, leading you through the impossible crowd until cool night air began melting into your skin. His silence was strange. Bucky’s favorite activity was talking your ear off until you told him to shut up, but right now… nothing. Even his earlier words had been clipped.
You felt responsible for easing the tension in the air as Bucky continued to guide you to your car. You hadn’t told him where you parked, but he seemed to know the exact location anyways.
“You really don’t have to leave with me,” you mumbled. “It wasn’t a big deal or anything.”
“It was a big deal.”
~~
The drive home had been silent. The walk to the door had been as well. Bucky spent a few minutes appraising you in the overhead light of the living room when you got inside, but after that there was nothing. He went to his room and you went to yours.
There was no discussion about it the morning after, either. Bucky apparently wanted to pretend nothing ever happened, so you respected that. Even now, you ignored the fading cuts on his hands as he shoveled food into his mouth.
Bucky’s next words were muffled by a mouthful of bread. “Well where’s this dude taking you at least?”
“Ice skating.”
The cough and sudden exasperation was very expected out of the man next to you, Bucky’s next words hardly containing syllables. “Huh?”
“We’re going ice skating,” you reiterated. You picked up your lunch and headed for the living room, ignoring the slightly heaviness in your chest. “It’s winter and ice skating is festive. The rink on campus has decorations.”
“Without me? Y/n, you’re gonna let some guy who probably doesn’t even know how to skate—”
“Bucky—” you attempted to interrupt.
“—drag you around the rink like a rag doll?” he continued, holding his hand up to mute your incoming speech. “I’ve asked you to come by the rink, like, a ton of times. You’ve never shown any interest.”
You rolled your eyes and shot him a cross look as he picked your feet up from where they rested on the couch and dropped them into his lap. He went on with his rant for a little while longer, knocking his head back against cushions and accusing you of being a bad roommate. You had a few rebuttals of your own, but there was a reason you had never accompanied him to the rink.
A good reason.
You didn’t date athletes.
It was true that simply going to visit Bucky at a practice, or letting him be the one to drag you around the ice like a rag doll, wouldn’t mean you were in a relationship by any means. But it would be an extra step. And if you were being honest with yourself, it would only take a few of those extra steps for the irritation you felt towards Bucky to melt into something else.
And you didn’t date athletes.
You did not.
You didn’t have the time, nor the patience, to put up with the cheating, the anger issues, or the crazy schedules. And there wasn’t a single athlete you’d met at your sport-centered university that was willing to compromise on any of those subjects. Especially the cheating. You’d learned that the hard way after dating a lacrosse player for approximately one month before receiving the dreaded DM from a girl you had never met.
The man hadn’t even given you the courtesy of pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. He just admitted to his wrong-doing and shrugged. Shrugged.
So athletes were not exactly in your good graces when it came to dating.
“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky cut through your thoughts, patting your shin in impatience.
You blinked and reoriented yourself, focusing on the hairs that fanned across Bucky’s face. “Of course I am,” you lied. “But my answer is still the same. I’m going on my date and you are not going on my date.”
He groaned, apparently giving up as he cradled your legs closer to him to lean over and grab the remote from the coffee table. He flipped the channel to ESPN—typical—and you ate your sandwich, silently cursing him. He had a TV in his room.
“When is it?” he suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had knitted itself into a comfortable blanket over the room.
“Tonight,” you answered plainly.
The arms atop your legs tensed.
~~
The dichotomy of the man sitting beside you was impressive. On one hand, he was so full of himself that he had missed almost all of your conversation starters due to being so transfixed by his reflection in the rink’s glass. He had yet to ask you a single question about yourself and had insisted that the four other girls skating tonight were in love with him.
On the other hand, he was, quite possibly, the most uninteresting person you had ever met. You were usually very quick to laugh, but every word out of his mouth was almost painful. He wouldn’t stop talking about his ex-girlfriend, gave you one word answers about anything other than baseball, and was honestly really terribly at ice skating. You were no pro either, but you found yourself on your back every time he tried holding your hand.
The tumble five minutes ago had you seeking out the penalty box on the side of the rink. You needed a break, you had told him, hoping he would continue on making a fool of himself and give you a moment alone. But he followed you instead, and was now sitting beside you, talking about baseball.
You supposed that was better than making you fall while talking about baseball.
“I bet we could do that,” he remarked, pointing out onto the ice and catching your attention. A couple who clearly had more experience than you was twirling each other around. “We definitely could. I pick up good speed.” You cringed. “I really don’t think we should try, Sean. My tailbone is already pretty bruised.”
“Oh, c’mon! I won’t try the throwing part, just the twisty stuff.”
“We are literally on rental skates. You will kill me,” you deadpanned. You were tired at this point and seriously questioning why you thought ice skating was a good first date idea.
Well, there actually was an answer for that. But you were not going to think about the hockey player that popped into your head when Sean asked you on a date in the dining hall last week.
Definitely not.
“I’m not going to let my date think I’m boring,” Sean groaned, yanking you up from your seat.
You gave a few tugs and words of resistance but they were ultimately useless. You figured it would be just as useless to tell the guy you already thought he was boring. He probably wouldn’t even hear you.
On unsteady skates, Sean guided you to a mostly cleared corner of the rink and gripped your forearms. He squinted as he surveyed the area, the corner of his mouth turning up in a way that made your stomach roll. This entire date had been a bad idea.
“Maybe we should just watch them do it,” you tried, words wavering.
“No!” he grinned. “No, we got this. It’s gonna look so cool.”
And then you were spinning. You’d never been spun against your will before, but it sucked. Your skates kept getting stuck in the divots in the ice and the grip on your forearms was close to bruising. You were starting to get dizzy and Sean showed no signs of caring. God, he really was dragging you around the rink like a rag doll. Bucky was going to get a kick out of this.
“Okay, ready?” Sean called, an unwarranted jubilation in his tone.
“What?” you yelled.
He didn’t answer you. Instead, he let go, and you went flying in another direction without a clear path. It only lasted a moment, but the sound of your head smacking onto the ice signified the end of that movement. You landed on your arm next, and then your back. Again.
This time felt different though. Your head was spinning and there were muted pinpricks trailing up to your wrist. The ache there was dulled compared to the biting iciness in your back, but as soon as you tried leaning on it to get up, it became sharp.
“Oh shit!” came Sean’s laughter-filled gasp. “My bad. I really didn’t mean to let go.”
You blinked a few times to clear the blurriness from your vision but it proved unhelpful. “I think… I think my arm’s broken.”
“Wait, seriously?” he asked, wobbling down to a seat beside you.
“Yeah, it’s—”
“Everything okay over here?” a voice interrupted. You tried blinking again to take in the man that towered over the two of you, but the lights overhead washed him out.
You recognized him…maybe? You felt like you were going to throw up.
Sean answered for you. “Yeah, man, we’re fine. She just fell.”
“Y/n, are you okay?” the man asked, ignoring your date completely.
“Do I know you?” you slurred.
You thought you heard a curse. “What made you think throwing her around was a good idea?”
“Dude, it wasn’t even that fast. Or my fault. She just couldn’t keep her feet under her.”
“Well, dude, maybe you should go home.”
Sean scoffed. “Right, and who’s going to take this one home?”
Your head was starting to hurt with all of the back and forth. The man that just joined, the taller one, kneeled down beside you. His blonde hair cast a harsh glare that had you squinting again.
“You want me to call Bucky?” he asked.
Bucky? How would he know Bucky? Blonde hair began morphing into a man in your memory, and you reached for the material of his shirt, looping it between your fingers.
“Steve Rogers?” you mumbled.
The man, now identified as Steve, sighed. “I’m calling him. Go home, Sean. Her roommate is coming to get her.”
There was more discussion, something about Steve having the authority to kick him out and Sean not understanding what all of the fuss was about. Steve warned him about something and Sean scoffed as if the situation was beneath him. And then he left.
Steve was then in your line of sight again, brows pinched together and a bright orange vest covering his shoulders. His hands hovered in front of you as if you’d break if he touched you and you almost found it funny. Steve was a huge guy with a lot of authority on Bucky’s team, but right now he looked like a scared animal.
“Why are you dressed like a construction worker?” you asked.
A small smile graced his face. “I’m working at the rink today. Everyone on the team has to take shifts during the holidays.”
“Hmm,” you hummed. “I think my arm is broken.”
“I know. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion too. Let’s get you off the ice, yeah?”
You tried to nod, but that hurt too much so you let Steve assist you in shakily standing up. He guided you to the seats by the rental skate counter with a soft but sure hand on your back, asking some guy named Antonio for an ice pack. Everything around you felt like a fever dream.
Gentle touches rolled the sleeve of your sweater back to reveal a swollen wrist that Steve immediately covered with an ice pack.
He cursed again. “Well he’s gonna be pissed.”
“Who?” Your head swayed with the question.
Steve looked up to meet your gaze, lips parting to answer, when he was replaced by a different face. Your brain was having trouble keeping up with everything, obviously, because Bucky was in front of you now. He was kneeling between your legs with his hands on your face and you had no idea where Steve went.
“What the fuck?” you blurted out.
“Hey, y/n.” Bucky spoke your name low and soothing, his fingers moving to your eyes where he pried them open one at a time and looked for something you couldn’t see. His next words were directed over his shoulder. “Maybe a concussion. Tell me what happened again?”
“Sean Marcus was being an ass. Flung her all over the place,” Steve replied.
“Why are you here?” you interjected, trying to focus on one thing at a time. “I told you not to come on my date.”
Bucky moved his assessment to your arm next, shifting the ice pack. “Never really agreed to those terms.”
He turned back to Steve after that, having another discussion that you barely understood. Bucky absentmindedly fiddled with the material of your jeans as he spoke, and you put all of your energy into not face planting on the ground. This past week had truly been a series of terrible events with terrible men.
After some amount of time elapsed, you were walking to the parking lot with a jacket thrown over your shoulders and Bucky continuously jutting a hand out each time you took a step. He was very well versed in concussions, apparently.
“Okay, in you go, killer,” Bucky prompted, opening the passenger door.
You eyed the front seat, scrunching your face up. “My arm hurts.”
The man in front of you seemed to soften, his shoulders dropping on a long exhale. “I know, sweetheart. But we gotta go to the hospital to fix that. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I should just call Wanda. Or Nat. You don’t have to be the one to take me.”
“I can take you just fine.”
“Why do you want to you? Aren’t you busy?”
Another long sigh, this one accompanied by hands on your shoulders, fingers at the base of your neck. “Get in the car.”
His eyes were boring into yours, searching for something, or maybe already finding it there. You still had your arm cradled to your chest and you titled your head to the side as you observed him. There was something else to his gaze that you couldn’t quite describe. It reminded you of his expression after he came home from a rough game. Angry. Discontent.
“You’re being weird,” you commented, breaking the silence you had created.
“You broke your arm and smacked your head on the ice,” he simply replied, as if the statement was an explanation.
“Yeah, but—”
“And then that douchebag did nothing about it,” Bucky interrupted. “So please, y/n, get in the car so I can help you before I find him and kick his ass. Because you know I’m not above fighting people.”
You blinked, and then slid into the front seat.
The drive was quiet. You’d never been in Bucky’s car before, but the spinning in your head didn’t give you much space to inspect it too closely. You caught hockey gear in the back, a keycard to the rink dangling off the rearview mirror, and a small collection of hair ties in one of the cupholders. One caught your attention.
“Hey, this one’s mine.” You picked up the purple band and rolled it between your fingers. “Thief.”
Bucky snatched it back. “Mine now.”
He made a sharp turn that had you sucking air between your teeth and repositioning your arm. Bucky sent you a quick, achingly apologetic look.
“Sorry, almost there.” A long beat of silence and then a mumbled, “I should keep your hair tie. You won’t be able to do your hair alone with a broken arm anyway.”
~~
Your wrist was fractured, not broken. You also only had a minor concussion. This was all great news to you, especially since they told you after administering a hefty amount pain reliever. To Bucky, this was apparently terrible, life-altering news.
After practically body slamming into the front door of your apartment, he chucked his wallet and keys down on the kitchen counter and began grumbling to himself as he opened and closed kitchen cabinets. You watched from a distance, half amused, half concerned for the rusting hinges. He finally found what he was looking for—a cup—and continued to mutter to himself as he filled it with gatorade.
“Are you… okay?” you asked tentatively.
Bucky ripped the freezer open and manhandled three to four ice cubes. “I’m fine. You are not.”
“I’m okay now,” you assured. Bucky stalked over to you anyways, pressing the sports drink into your hand that was not wrapped in a cast.
You looked down at the glass and sent him a baffled look. He nodded at it and raised his brows, a silent demand for you to drink.
“Okay. And why do I need to drink gatorade?” Your words were slow.
“You were just on the ice and haven’t had any water for at least three hours.”
“Bucky,” you began. “I was ice skating recreationally for about thirty minutes. I don’t need to replenish my electrolytes.”
“Will you just… will you just drink the damn drink?” he groaned, gesturing to it with a firm hand. “Jesus, I can’t take care of you when you go and get yourself hurt by idiots. So just let me do what I know I can do, alright?”
“You don’t have to take care of me.” You were beginning to raise your voice, matching some of the frustration in the room.
Bucky threw his hands in the air, tugging at his roots on the way down. He moved further into the kitchen and leaned against the counter with stiff, rod-like arms propping him up. And then he sighed, long and profound as if this was the hardest conversation he’d had all year. His head hung heavy between stiff shoulders and you felt the environment shift.
You almost wanted to intervene on his thoughts again, to make some comment about the dishes in the dishwasher or pretend you were going to go take a nap. But he had something to say, something you needed to hear, and so you stayed. You blinked and clenched your fist in the uncomfortable silence, but you stayed.
“Y/n, I want to take care of you,” Bucky breathed out, words still directed toward the floor, almost too low to make out. “I’ve been tryna get you to see that for weeks now, but you’ve either got no clue or you want absolutely nothing to do with me.”
You stopped blinking, stopped fidgeting, stopped breathing altogether. You watched as Bucky drummed his fingers against the counter and still refused to look up. You swallowed hard because you weren’t clueless, but also because you wanted everything to do with Bucky Barnes.
And nothing at the same time.
“Bucky…” you began, with a tone of surprise you weren’t sure was believable.
“Don’t do it yet,” he stopped you. “Don’t…don’t tell me no yet. I’m still pissed as hell that you got hurt and you shouldn’t be alone with a concussion. I don’t need you avoiding me when you can’t even drive a car.”
“You’re being presumptuous.”
He snapped his head up, his eyes rushing back and forth between your own. The drumming on the counter ceased, instead replaced by balled up fists turning white under days old cuts and fading bruises. He didn’t say anything. You searched the empty air for a reply.
“I wouldn’t avoid you. I don’t know if I could avoid you—not anymore. You’re sort of a big part of my life now.” A good start, you thought. Not a real answer, but not a rejection.
Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and eyed the drink still perspiring in your hand. You set it down at his observance, moving closer to his slumped posture in the kitchen.
But Bucky stood up straight at your movement, becoming guarded, stiff. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Bad timing, just forget it. You should try and get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to forget it,” you softly spoke, shaking your head.
He clenched his jaw. “And I don’t want to hear that you don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Not right now. I feel like I’m going insane, watching you go out on dates and having my best friend tell me that my girl—that’s not really my girl—is all banged up on the ice because of some asshole.”
You opened your mouth to speak, but Bucky kept going, now pacing in the kitchen. “I mean, y/n, you’re my everyday. I wake up and you’re making coffee. You text me in class to ask what I need at the grocery store and then I call you after practice to make sure you got back to the apartment. I think about you so god damn much and I can’t believe there was a time in my life that I didn’t get to end my day in a home that has you. And you’re just my roommate. You want nothing to do with athletes, I get it—” he added, catching your eye in the middle of his rant, “—but, shit, I haven’t even looked at another girl since… well it doesn’t even matter.”
“Tell me,” you whispered. There were a million other things you could’ve said, a million explanations that would have made sense. But the two soft words stopped Bucky from tracking holes in the ground. They shoved him from his shallow breaths and made him look at you.
And, god, did he look at you. You must have been worse for wear. A hospital visit mixed with one too many tumbles onto solid ice probably had your hair in disarray and your face pressed with exhaustion, but his gaze was revering. Candy-coated red with soft blues melting below brows that fluxed with the movement of his lips; Bucky was beautiful, and he was looking at you as if you matched.
His tone confirmed as much, light and saccharin as he said, “That dumb movie a few weeks ago, the one about the superheroes. Your friends wouldn’t watch it with you so you made me. You were so excited even though it was awful and you were out like a light within the first hour. You rolled over onto me and I wasn’t gonna wake you up so I sorta just held you.”
He paused, trailing his eyes up to the light fixtures. “At the risk of sounding pathetic, it felt like I had you, you know? Like we were going through all our usual motions, but after I annoyed the hell out of you and you told me off, you were mine. I can’t… I can’t really picture that with another girl.”
There were very few times you had considered yourself speechless. But with Bucky Barnes standing in front of you, red-faced and vulnerable and still wearing the stupid hospital nametag they made him put on in the waiting room, you had no words. There was none of the arrogance you usually associated with him, no short-temper or pestering taunts. It was just Bucky, and he was pouring his heart onto the kitchen floor. For you.
“You get why you can’t tell me no just yet?” he asked, trying to get something out of you. Anything. “You can break my heart, but let me just make sure you’re okay first. And I can’t beat the shit out of Sean if we aren’t on speaking terms.”
The laugh that left you was one of disbelief, but the breathiness and accompanying tears fit the heaviness of the room. Your glossy eyes met Bucky’s and something flashed on his face, but it was soon out of your line of sight because you were kissing him. You were kissing him hard and your bodies were too close for the cast between you but it didn’t matter.
He didn’t respond at first, hand hovering at your back. But then he did and the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor was gone from your bare feet. He sat you on the counter, so gently, as if you were glass, and you let your hand brush against the cracks and divots of your home. The one that Bucky came back to every night to see you.
The one that had housed so many nights of confusion and longing and denial.
The one that had Bucky kissing the life out of you on the kitchen counter.
He pulled away first, forehead pressed to yours. “Didn’t think I’d ever get to do that.”
“You can do it again.”
“Oh, I will, baby.”
Laughter met in the air between you—sweet, short, intertwined. There was so much you wanted to tell him, so many instances like the one he shared before where you were left questioning boundaries and feelings and lines. But, you figured, there would be so many opportunities to tell him. So much time together.
“I texted Wanda that night,” you shared, interrupting the kisses he was pressing to your cheek. “After I woke up and you had taken me back to my room.”
He smiled against your skin. “What’d you say?”
“I told her I was an idiot—that I was falling for the enemy.”
Bucky ran a soft hand along the back of your head, a smirk lighting up his face. He was slotted between your legs and kept his other hand firmly pressed onto the kitchen counter, caging you in, making sure your arm didn’t hit the cabinets.
“And is that true?”
“I don’t know,” you hummed, connecting your foreheads once again, wanting to stay impossibly close. “Try to cure my broken bone with gatorade again and we’ll see.”
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they are my loves now you cannot pry them from my cold dead hands
simplicity
out there they're afraid even of the killer's shadow, and here i reside in his heartbeat like a home
or; the big bad red hood has a soft spot only for you [3.4k]
jason todd x fem!reader; tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff; aggressive unwanted advances, implied roofie attempt, violence & blood, slut-shaming; Jason “my girl can wear whatever she wants I can fight” Todd; in da clerb, we all fam ⎯ based on this !
A humid, crowded, upscale club isn’t the most ideal way to spend your Friday night, and Jason knows this. Frankly, it’s not his either, but as the owner of the humid, crowded, upscale club, he had to make some appearances as his own business.
“It’s a night out,” he had said. “Let’s make the most of it.”
If you’re being honest, it’s also not the worst way to spend your Friday night. Not when Jason dressed up so deliciously, in a fitted t-shirt, jeans, and his leather jacket. Not when he took you to a booth in the corner of the club and had them bring over your favorite drinks and snacks with the order to keep them coming. Not when you got to wear that cute little black dress that’s been hanging in your closet for months with your favorite strappy heels, the ones with ribbons that wrapped around your ankle and tied into a bow in the back. Not when Jason sat you on his lap and settled a large hand on your thigh, where it stayed the whole night.
All in all, you would say you’re making the most of it.
You’re sipping on your drink, chatting about something or the other with your boyfriend. He’s half listening, half drawing circles on your thigh and pressing kisses to your shoulder when one of the employees finds you. She’s freaking out because one of the performers hasn’t shown up, and there’s no one else to go in her place.
Jason huffs. He lifts you off his lap and sets you down on the seat. “I’m sorry, baby, I just gotta take care of this. I’ll be right back.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be here.” You smile over the rim of your glass.
He looks around for a moment, then gestures to someone across the room. One of the bouncers make their way to you.
“Just keep an eye out,” he tells him. “I don’t trust these entitled country club fuckers.”
He gives a curt nod. Jason leans in close, smirking, and says, “especially not when you look like that,” and gives you a quick kiss before disappearing into the crowd with the employee.
A couple minutes later, a crash snaps your attention towards the bar. A young, college-aged looking man is berating a waitress while a mess of shot glasses litter the floor around them. The waitress looks about to cry.
“Jesus Christ,” the bouncer says to himself. Then to you, “Gimme a second.”
You move to the edge of the booth to watch as he goes over and tries to pacify the man, but that only seems to make him angrier. He shoves the bouncer, yelling about “shitty customer service.”
You don’t get to see what happens next, though, because your field of vision is obscured by an enormous, very shiny, and very douchey silver belt buckle. You look up for its owner, and a greasy-looking, white-haired man looks down at you.
“Hey there, sweetheart.” A fake gold tooth catches the flashing lights and it glints in your eye. Uninvited, he slides into the booth across from you. He places a drink on the table, sliding it towards you. “You look thirsty. Got this for you.”
“No, thanks. I’ve got one.” You hold your own glass up.
He rolls his eyes. “Pretty thing like you should be takin’ advantage of all the free drinks you could be gettin’.” His smile sends a chill down your spine.
“Again, I’m fine,” you say, a little harsher. “My boyfriend has brought me plenty of drinks already.”
He laughs. It’s a high-pitched, scratchy, wheezing sound. Like a kazoo. “I don’t see this boyfriend of yours anywhere. He should know better than to leave you alone. I’d treat you much better than him.” His eyes travel down your neck and stay there. You stand from the booth and take a big step back. It’s not entirely personal; no matter how much of a threat he may be, Jason is a worse one. And if he’s still in this neighborhood, never mind this building, you fear for this man’s safety much more than your own. But the man follows, bringing the cup with him. “Come on, honey, it’s a compliment. Show a little thanks. I don’t bite.”
You don’t have to be the world’s finest detective to know that is most definitely a lie. Or to know to avoid that cup at all costs.
You could just rebuff him, walk away. But you’re willing to bet he’d just move on to the next woman. One who’s probably a little less sober, and a little less aware of her surroundings. You feign a stumble and knock the drink out of his grip. It tips toward him, drenching him with its contents. He chokes out a shocked gasp.
“Oops,” you deadpan, not at all trying to hide your indifference.
“You bitch,” he snarls. He lunges forward, snatching your wrist. You try to pull it back, but his grip is iron and bruising. “I was doing you a favor. Do you see anyone else here looking at you?”
You’re suddenly grateful you didn’t put up much of a fight after Jason came home from patrolling one night insisting he show you some self-defense moves. Far be it from you to cause a scene, but this guy isn’t giving you much choice. You employ the cardinal rule of women’s self-defense: go for the crotch. You shift your weight to your non-dominant side and launch your dominant knee right into his groin. The sharp metal edge of his belt buckle slices the skin just above your knee, but it shocks him enough to release your wrist and double over. The same leg used in your attack plants itself on the ground, and you use the momentum to pistol your opposite fist forward. It collides with his nose in a bone-cracking cross. Your stacks of studded rings didn’t do him any favors, either. He cries out in pain. His hands fly up to cover his nose, and the cup falls from his grasp and shatters on the floor, garnering the attention of some surrounding patrons. Blood seeps between his fingers.
“You’re gonna fucking pay for that.” His tone drips with poison. He reaches into his coat pocket and brandishes a switchblade (because of course. You’re not surprised, though. It is Gotham). You look around in a panic, hoping to find Jason towering somewhere over the crowd. He’s not there. A few guys who work for him, though, have since taken notice of the commotion and are making their way towards you. You know they won’t make it in time. You weren’t scared a moment ago, but you definitely are now. Jason only briefly covered disarming techniques, and you didn’t have his practice to stay calm in situations like these. He steps closer, shoes crunching over the glass shards, and you step back. You’re backed into a corner, literally. Your back is pressed against the table. His eyes are glassy and void of color.
There is a resounding pop when the man’s knife-wielding hand is yanked to the side. Too fast for your brain to register, he thuds against the table next to you and the knife clatters to the ground. You look over and see Jason, one hand pressing his face into the table and the other twisting the man’s arm behind his back.
When his men finally reach you, Jason is seething. They look almost as afraid as the man, whose whimpers are muffled the pressure with which he’s flattened against the table.
“Who the fuck let this happen,” Jason glowers. Uncomfortable glances are shared between the men, all sharing the same sentiment; we fucked up big time.
Jason’s livid gaze flits back and forth among them. His veins flex against his forearms, rippling with effort. It looks like he’s putting all his strength into incapacitating the man, but you know better. He’s putting all his strength into restraint. The look on his face is cold and steely, with hardened, venom-green eyes and a clenched jaw. This isn’t Jason, the sweet boyfriend, or Jason the easy-going yet respected club proprietor. This is Jason the crime lord. Jason the anti-hero. This is the Red Hood. Who makes his own rules and kills anyone who breaks them. It’s a bit off-putting for you to see him like this; he’s never like this with you. He’s always just…Jason. Your Jason.
One of his men speaks up. “We’re sorry, Boss, we were keepin’ an eye like you asked, but there was trouble up at the bar.”
Jason scowls. “Trouble that required all of you?”
At their silence, he rolls his eyes. “Idiots,” he says under his breath. He jerks the man up to stand, the hand that was pressing him to the table now gripping the back of his shirt collar. “Someone take care of this.” He shoves the man in their direction. Hard. One of them catches him. “And for fuck’s sake, check him for anything else.”
While they’re busy patting him down, Jason turns back to you. You get whiplash from how quick his demeanor changes. Though still tense, the rigidity of his expression is long gone, replaced with tender concern.
“Are you okay?” His wide eyes scan you up and down, searching for any signs of injury. You manage a nod, still a bit stunned by his apparent shape-shifting abilities. “I’m so sorry, honey, this is my fault. It’s my fault for leaving you alone.” He pulls you close for a hug and kisses the top of your head, murmuring further apologies into your hair.
You pull back and cup his face in your hands. “It’s okay, Jay, I’m fine. I promise.” You lean in to kiss him, and feel his shoulders relax.
“Jesus, man, sorry! Wouldn’t’a come on so strong if I knew she was your whore. How much did ‘ya pay for her, anyway?” His voice rings from behind. Jason tenses up again. When he pulls back from you, he’s gone. He’s like Jekyll-turned-Hyde when the combatant that lay dormant inside him reassumes his body.
He turns around, but his large frame shields you from seeing the scene unfold. You place a hand on his arm, a silent message of support, and you can feel him vibrating with anger. His hand comes to rest over yours and give a reassuring squeeze.
“You know what?” You can’t be sure who he’s speaking to, but you can hear the eerie smile in his tone. “I’ll take care of this.” He faces you. “Can you give me a minute? Is that okay?” His voice is calm.
You know he would stay if you asked him to. And you never would, but you know he would go outside and kill that guy if you asked him to. And maybe you’re feeling a tad vindictive after the whole ordeal, so you just say, “Okay.”
He kisses your forehead, squeezing your hand once more. “I’ll come find you,” he says, stepping away, and you nod.
“Ross,” he commands. “Take her to the office. Get her whatever she wants.” Jason then speaks to all of his men. His tone drips with disdain. “Tomorrow we’ll talk about who’s getting fired for this.” You catch some of his men flinch.
He grabs the man by the collar once again and stalks towards the exit, dragging him along.
You’ve met Ross once or twice, though never exchanged more than a few words. He smiles at you. It’s amiable, if not slightly nervous. You know where the office is, but you’re still grateful for the guide. The mesh of moving bodies under dim lights makes all four corners of the room look the same. With the adrenaline wearing off, your hands ache and you become acutely aware of the stinging shock that shoots up your knee when you walk on it but, persevering, you follow him to the back. He holds the door that reads ‘RESTRICTED - DO NOT ENTER’ open for you, and you smile in thanks.
Various employees, servers and performers alike, mill about in the back hallways. You know some of them, having met in passing during other visits to the club, and offer polite greetings as you walk by. When you arrive at Jason’s office, Ross unlocks the door for you and you step inside.
It’s a nice office, noticeably homier than it was when you and Jason met. The first time he brought you back here it was just a desk, a chair, and a filing cabinet. You perched yourself on his desk while he sat in his chair and you teased him for not having a place for guests to sit, saying something about ‘men and their awful interior designing skills.’
“It’s not ‘bad skills,’ it’s cost-effective. ‘M runnin’ a business here, baby. If you need a place to sit that badly, you can sit right here.” He joked, patting his lap. And he said it with such conviction you believed him, but the next time you visited there was a brand new, plushy suede couch pushed against the wall.
You find a seat on said couch and try to get comfortable despite your protesting joints. From here you can spot a framed photo on Jason’s desk; the two of you smiling while bathing a shelter dog at the Wayne Animal Sanctuary. But while you smile at the camera, his gaze is trained on you.
Ross stands in the doorway, stoic as a bodyguard should be. “Do you need anything?” He asks you.
“No, I’m okay. Thank you, though.”
“‘Course. I’ll be outside. Just yell if you need anything.” He moves to exit, but pauses. “Look,” he says, “We’re all really sorry about what happened. It was our fault. You have every right to hate us.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly. “God knows the boss does.”
You purse your lips, unsure how to respond. Technically Jason did instruct them not to leave you alone. But really, the only person at fault is that horrible man, and he was currently getting what he deserved.
“It’s okay, Ross,” you say, and you mean it. “I don’t blame you. And Jason’s not gonna fire any of you, okay? I won’t let him.”
He exhales. “Okay, you—yeah. Okay. Thanks.” He loiters awkwardly in the doorway for a moment. “Listen, Todd’s always been a great boss. But it’s no joke when it comes to you. Don’t know exactly what happened, but after meeting you, he’s just…different. Not sure if I believe it, but after the first time you were here, one of the bartenders swears they heard him whistling. Anyway, just mean to say…we’re glad he has you.”
His sincerity warms your heart. You thank him, and he assumes his post outside, closing the door.
At last in decent lighting, you take the time to examine yourself. Your knee, knuckles, and wrist are splotchy with bruises. A small scrape rests just above your knee from you were scratched. There’s a splattering of blood on your knuckles and on the rings you’re wearing. You grimace, the reality of what just happened settling in. Someone pulled a knife on you. If Jason hadn’t been there…the thought leaves you cold.
There’s voices on the other side of the door, then receding footsteps. After a few seconds, a knock.
“Baby? Can I come in?”
“Yes,” you call out. Jason enters, locking the door behind him. There’s some smatterings of blood on his hands and face, and he’s holding a first aid kit. Your immediate instinct is that he’s the one who needs first aid.
“Are you okay?” You ask as he kneels on the floor in front of you. “Did he hurt you?”
Jason tilts his head like a confused puppy, eyebrow raised. Just like that, The Red Hood is gone. He’s Jason again. He speaks softly, with a hint of his usual boyish charm. “Should I be insulted by you asking me that?” He picks up your un-injured leg and places the foot on his thigh, beginning to unravel the ribbon wrapped around your ankle. He removes the shoe and places it to the side, then repeats with your other foot. But when he moves it, your knee twitches and you wince. He frowns, but doesn’t say anything. He sees the way your eyes travel between all the spots of blood. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, none of it’s mine.”
You sigh in relief. “You didn’t…kill him, did you?”
He chuckles, lightly massaging your foot. “Nah…did you want me to? ‘Cause I can still—”
“No.”
He smirks at you, before leaning down to press a kiss to your bruised knee. It’s so gentle, so loving, it completely contradicts the bloodstains that adorn him. As his hands move up to your calf, your hand moves to his hair, fingers threading through the white streaks and pushing them back so you can get a better view of his eyes. They’re a silky teal, bordering on sea green. They remind you of lake trips in the summer, and ice skating during the holidays.
“How bad is he? Like, on scale of ‘he can walk it off’ to ‘he needs to go to the hospital.’”
Jason pauses his movements, looking thoughtful for a moment.
“He…he’s walking himself to the hospital.”
There’s not much you can say to that. After all, you gave him to okay to go fuck that guy up.
From the first aid kit, he retrieves a box of Band-Aids. They’re the children’s ones, decorated with cartoons and various characters. A specific one catches your eye, and you pick it out of the carton.
“Robin? Really?”
Jason breathes out a small laugh. “One of my guys’ daughter loves him.” He unwraps the bandage and sticks it over the scratch. You admire the small red plaster. Jason traces a finger over the emblem in the center, a black and yellow ‘R’.
He moves from your leg to your hand, gingerly laying it in his palm. One by one he slides each of your rings off. They’re not particularly special, but you still like them and you try to protest when he tosses them in the trash. He’s quick to assuage you with promises to buy you new ones with, hopefully, less blood.
"Did you see how good I got him?" You suddenly feel shy asking such a question. Like a child seeking validation.
"I did see," Jason says. And there's not a hint of condescension in his tone. "I'm proud of you. You remembered what I taught you."
You beam under his pride.
He uses a sanitizing wipe to remove the droplets of blood from your knuckles, kissing each one along the way. He reaches your wrist last. There’s a purple hand-shaped mark that wraps around it, and he stares at it. You can see his thoughts race at sixty miles an hour, and you know he’s beating himself up about it.
“Hey.” The hand in his hair moves to stroke his cheek. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I promise. I love you.”
He leans forward to press his forehead to your wrist. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m sorry.” He places gentle kisses on the purple skin. “I’m sorry. I love you.” He moves to the scratch above your knee, pressing more kisses, repeating the words like a prayer. Your hand is still enclosed in his hands, and his cool fingers soothe the throbbing swell. You pull his head up, holding his chin in your fingertips. His eyes close as he soaks in your warm touch.
You reach for another wipe and begin wiping the blood from his face. Some of it has dried, so you press the wipe a little harder, and blood rushes to his cheeks to give him an adorable flush. You repeat the process on his hands. Blood erased and wipes discarded, you pull him up to the couch to lie down with you. He stretches out, so large that his feet hang over the armrest. You snuggle up to his side and your head rests on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. It’s surreal, how utterly soft he is, and just for you. How no one else gets to see him like this. He goes out at night, a fighter, crusader, a deadly threat. And then he comes home to sleep in your arms. In your bed.
You place your hand against his chest, right over his heart to feel it thrum beneath your palm. It beats simple and steady, and just for you.
am i the only one who likes the whole jason owning the iceberg lounge storyline (aside from the whole penguin prisoner thing but i only write according to canon that i like and leave out the things i don't! whoops🤷♀️);
the feminine urge to write more fics that take place within the universe of this one...
divider is from here
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what the hell this is everything
Read Between The Lines
Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Word Count: 6.6k
Summary: There shouldn’t have been anything unusual about your routine visit to the local bookstore. Your life was simple and mundane, even if you were a daydreamer at heart. But you were pleasantly surprised when this time you met a handsome stranger between the shelves.
Warnings: Pure fluff, meet cute, meddling bookstore owners, lets also pretend that walking someone home after you’ve only just met is fine 😅🤣
Author’s Note: Unbeta’d, warning graphics and dividers by @rookthorne 💜 hope you enjoy your gift my love 🥰
It was an early morning in Brooklyn as you walked down the cobblestone path — a light dusting of wind had you wrapping your coat tighter around you while a chill tingled your cheeks.
Finally, a free day marked out in your calendar meant you had the opportunity to spend some time to yourself and of course, that had to include the cutesy, tucked away bookshop — fittingly named Hidden Treasures — found in an unplanned outing; a true secret gem you held dear to your heart.
Weekly stops to your new bookstore soon became routine in your life. A daydreamer at heart, you were always on the hunt for a new fairytale or fantasy to delve into; best friends to lovers, soulmates bound to fall in love, a bump in with a handsome stranger — a girl could dream.
Modern dating had proven disastrous for you when plenty of first dates arranged online had turned sour fast. That embarrassment was enough to have you swear off real romance for life.
So, you had always kept your head in your books. Yes, your days might have been a little stale. And yes, you could have used a little more excitement in your life. But, you were more than happy to stick to your safety net of fictional men — they would never disappoint you.
The chime from the store bell rang as soon as you opened the door and stepped inside. Shimmying your coat and scarf off, you hung them on the rack and sighed happily. By the counter as always was Teddy; the sweet, old man who had greeted you with a beaming smile and an enthusiastic wave since your first visit. “Morning, darlin’!”
“Good morning, Ted.” It was impossible to contain your wide grin as you stomped the dirt off your boots onto the mat, happy to see the bookstore owner and your now good friend. “I’ll catch you when I’m finished, okay?”
As usual, Teddy gave you the go ahead with a nudge of his head to get on with your weekly haul, already expecting you to jump into your adventure of fiction and find him after.
The feeling of being transported into another world each time never disappeared. The floor to ceiling oak bookshelves wrapped in green vines, towered over you like castles and the bumps and ridges of variously sized books you ran your hands over reminded you of their stone walls. Fairy lights were strung between the exposed wooden beams of the roof and streams of daylight casted in through the window that brightened the shop.
All your responsibilities vanished for the time being and a blissful peace clouded the stress and anxiety of the week. It was magical.
Endless coves and hideouts hid around the shop — the amount of times you had gotten lost, even in such a small space, never failed to amuse Teddy. You would always find your way back to the counter, a stack of books overflowing in your arms with a sheepish expression. You were still finding secrets to this very day.
After idly walking around the cozy bookshop for a while with no real goal, you eventually decided to stroll towards the romance section. You were on a mission to find the next installment of the series you were currently reading, browsing from A-Z and trailing the tip of your finger along the coffee stained, worned spines.
The rustic smell you could only find between the pages of written stories were deeply breathed in as you hummed along to the calm jazz song that played from the speakers. You scoured through the endless selection until you reached exactly what you were looking for. Finger coming to a stop, you were about to carefully pluck the book from the shelf.
Now, you believed you were a cautious person — a healthy amount of awareness of your surroundings never hurt to keep you safe. However, instinct seemed to fail you when a figure brushed your back. They were directly behind you, light on their feet and quiet.
The tiny hairs on your arms stood up, alert with the presence close by and before you could have spun around, a thick arm stretched over the top of your head and into your vision.
The feel of ringed fingers gently brushed against yours as they landed on the book you planned to take. You looked at both of your hands, transfixed at the difference in size between you. The staccato of your heart was sent into overdrive, thumping wildly against your chest.
You watched in real time as the cold silver against your warm skin thrummed all the way through your body, a bolt of electricity tingling your nerves — never had you felt more alive.
Following a path from the stranger's hands all the way up his arms, the pattern of colourful tattoos screamed out at you. Beautiful, intricate designs with immaculate detailing bursted over his olive skin and decorated his frame perfectly.
There was no doubt this stranger heard the small gasp you let loose. But you couldn’t have helped it. Those arms taunted you — the devil on your shoulder poked its sharp tail against you and whispered delightful sins into your ear.
Down girl. You didn't even know him yet.
“Oh!” The stranger exclaimed. “My apologies, Doll. Looks like we were reaching for the same book.” The deep voice that rumbled above caused a shiver to run down your spine — pure heaven in your ears.
You gained the courage to turn around and look up at his face, and you were utterly mesmerised at the ocean blues staring straight into your soul, reaching into the deep valleys of guarded secrets you kept close to your heart. Everything you wanted to keep hidden started to unravel in one look. You were unsure whether you loved it or hated it.
Your mouth fell agape as this tattooed stranger with a dreamy gaze smirked, watching you take his appearance in. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you racked your head for something to say as your eyes darted over his features — desperate to take in his beauty.
However, you failed to realise this man had also been basking in your beauty too, obsessing over every detail of your face. You watched him slowly lick his lips, flitting his eyes up and down your figure before he summarised, “Huh — I guess you do look the type for a good romance.”
As much as you tried to remain composed, your mind apparently had decided that was the time to throw your filter out the window. “I can’t say the same for you.”
Your mouth instantly fell open in shock, mortified at your audacity. The embarrassment of your own awkward nature forced you to slap your hand over your mouth.
Quick to want to rectify your mistake, you stuttered, falling over your own words as you attempted to say your apologies. “Oh my god. I didn’t— I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! Just— just with the tattoos and— and the— the um…” your words trailed off as you gawked at his nose ring in awe.
You were too busy lost in this man’s invisible spell to notice the laugh he tried to keep in. All you paid attention to was his teeth biting into his plump bottom lip.
However, it was the sudden realisation of the position the two of you hadn’t moved from that shook you out of your haze — now hyper aware of the proximity against each of your chests. The way this walking, tatted sin on legs, plucked straight from your dreams held eye contact astounded you. Your legs were almost forced to cross over each other, to stop the flutter between them as his breath tickled your neck and the scent of mint and leather permeated your senses.
Outwardly shaking your head to snap out of your brain fog, you stepped back to lean against the bookshelf, out of this unusual hold of a stranger so you could actually think properly.
You undoubtedly expected him to bid you farewell, for him to take offense to your quip (rightfully so) and never see him again — your chance flushed down the drain already due to your own inability to socialise like a human being.
The world would be that cruel to you, you figured. To dangle the most gorgeous man you had ever seen in front of you only to rip him away because of your lack of grace. Why not after your so called luck with dating?
So it was to your pleasant surprise that instead, this stranger wasn’t repelled by you and in fact took a step closer towards you, eyes homed onto yours intensely with a glint of mischief. “While my looks may be deceiving,” he rested his hand on the shelf beside you and leaned down to your height. “I sure don’t mind the element of surprise if it captures the attention of a pretty girl.”
The charm and the charisma that seeped from his pores had you releasing a giggle. And the delight of being the cause of that twinkle in his cerulean eyes was unlike anything else.
Testing the waters, you teased him, praying you didnt mess up the second chance you had been graciously gifted. “Do you normally pick up girls in bookstores?”
The bewitching stranger didn’t let up on his allure though. “This is actually my first time, is it obvious how bad I am at this?”
“You’re not doing so bad.” You shrugged, a smile edging its way into your face.
“Well, thank god for that.” He dramatically clasped his hand to his heart, blowing out a breath. “I was hoping that would work because I had no more pick up lines to win you over.”
Your laughter filled the aisle. His endearing nature — just the right balance of wit and appeal — attracted you even more.
A calm broke over the two of you as your joint amusement naturally settled. You both continued to gaze at the other before your companion introduced himself. “I’m Bucky.”
Bucky. You finally had the stranger’s name and it suited him, you figured. Hearing it gave you a warm feeling in your chest and an itch to test it on your tongue.
“Can I have the pleasure of knowing your name too?” he asked smoothly.
The subtle cock of his head and that damned sparkle in his eye, finished off with a tongue in cheek smile almost had you giving in. Bucky was patient as the tension brewed in the air and he looked at you as though all of his problems would have been answered if he knew what to call you.
However, a sudden defiant nature within you wanted to test him. Make him work for something so personal. “I think I’ll stick with keeping it to myself for now,” you granted him instead.
Bucky was visibly surprised with your comeback, eyes widening the slightest as he stood tall and slid his hands into his jean pockets, but the glint in his eyes told you he liked your sass — a mystery stood in front of him that he was desperate to unravel.
“Elusive, I like it.” He cocked his hip and grinned, giving you an appreciative once over before he declared, “Doll it is then, sweetheart.”
Your heart swooped. Like you were on a rollercoaster, about to drop from the highest point. The rush you experienced from one small interaction was addictive and you wanted more.
“So,” Bucky said. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he squeezed his eyes shut and winced as a flush crept up his neck.
Discreetly, you covered your mouth with your hand to hide the laughter lodged in your throat. You actually thought his dorkiness was adorable, but you wanted to let him suffer for a little longer. “Is that really what you’re going with?” You sniggered. “I knew you said you were out of pick up lines, big guy, but you’re scraping the barrel with that one.”
Bucky squinted his eyes open and sighed. “I know — I know — that one was awful.” Surprisingly, he managed to pull you back in with his dreamy smile. “I swear I got better game than that.”
“Oh really?” You challenged, crossing your arms over each other. “I don’t believe it.”
But as quick as a whistle, he retorted. “Go out with me and you’ll soon know how I could win you over.”
It was your turn to stifle the heat rising to your cheeks. There was a hopefulness in his gaze, desperately pulling you in. The hopeless romantic in you could have fallen in love with him right there and then, but you knew that wasn’t at all reasonable or realistic.
“Okay, I’ll give you that one,” you laughed. Turning on your heels to pluck the very book that had been the cause of your bump in with your beautiful stranger, you waved the book over your shoulder, “But I think I better go pay for this.”
“Ah, you beat me to it, Doll.” He clicked his tongue, a bout of sadness to his tone. “Would you mind if I walked with you? I’ve already got everything I hoped for.” Bucky’s eyes never left yours as he reached over the top of your head, once again trapping you, and taking a book from the shelf.
Had your mind been any less fuzzy, you would have noticed he hadn’t even looked at which book he was reaching for, picking one at random to gently wave in the air between you, too.
You cleared your throat. “Y—yeah, of course! Not a problem whatsoever.”
After Bucky had stepped back, he gestured for you to go first and the two of you silently walked over to the counter. You tried to discreetly glance over your shoulder, unable to resist looking at him. But your cheeks heated up when he met your gaze and winked.
Once you reached the counter, you offered a bright smile to Teddy, who was already grinning back at you. Placing your chosen book on the wood between you for him to scan, he raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Just the one for you today, little one?”
“Just the one this time, Ted.” You confirmed.
“That’s unlike you.” Teddy hummed in thought. “Didn’t find anything else you like back there?”
You mumbled under your breath, quiet enough that Teddy struggled to hear, “You could say that.”
Aware that Bucky was literally right behind you, you swiftly changed the subject. “How’s that husband of yours getting on anyway?”
George, said husband of Teddy, had been away for a trip overseas to collect rare editions of books on his wish list (along with a few surprise items for Teddy that you knew of) and as much as Teddy loved to keep up his beloved, bubbly personality alive in the shop, you knew he missed him deep down. The pair of them were two peas in a pod — incomplete without the other.
So, you were shocked to see a grin crawl on his face as he scanned your book. “You can ask him yourself.”
You were confused until another figure popped their head around the doorway of the back room with a flourish. You gasped and ran towards him, throwing your arms around his neck for a hug. “George! I wasn’t expecting you back so soon!”
George rocked you side to side with a big squeeze before he held you at arms length with fondness to check you over. Your face scrunched up when he booped the tip of your nose. “Yeah well, you can’t keep me away for too long, sweetheart.” Playfully side eyeing Teddy, he brought you closer and whispered loud enough for his husband to hear him say, “Besides, someone has to keep this troublemaker in check, don’t they?”
“Haven't got the slightest idea what you could mean, Georgie.” Teddy overheard and put on his most innocent face. You giggled into George, amused by his husband’s antics. “I’m an angel.”
Their love encompassed everything you wanted from a life partner. You longed for their banter and their care and the passionate fire that was still raging all these years later between them.
Looking over to Bucky, you were caught off guard to find him gazing at you already, a smile on his face that slightly scrunched up his nose.
You stepped back to the counter, heated under the spotlight just as Teddy rang you up with a price. Though, you didn’t miss the seemingly casual glance he made behind you. “Mornin’, Buck. Got any nice plans for today?”
You frowned, surprised that they were familiar with each other. Bucky cleared his throat before he spoke from behind you, “Just a small visit here today I’m afraid, Ted.”
Teddy still continued to speak over your shoulder as he took a suspiciously long time to bag up your book. “Right,” he murmured. “No plans for the rest of the day then?”
“Nah.” Bucky's voice rumbled at your back, as if he had taken a step closer to you. “Nothing else, unfortunately. Can’t go anywhere without a pretty date now, can I, Teds?”
Almost immediately, Teddy looked at you, a glint in his eye of excitement before he innocently offered, “I may know someone.”
You choked, causing all three men to look at you; Teddy had a shit eating grin on his face, while George tried to hide his laughter in his hand — unsuccessfully. You could even feel Bucky’s stare locked in on you from behind.
“Don’t you dare,” you muttered under your breath to Teddy.
But you knew by his wicked smile your threat wouldn’t stop him from meddling. “Why don’t you walk little one home after this? Get to know each other,” he said to Bucky.
Amazed by the man’s audacity, you scolded him. “Teddy!”
“Nonsense, girl,” Teddy rounded the counter to you and slid his arm around your shoulders, turning you towards Bucky before he continued. “Besides, you heard the boy. He needs some company and I know for a fact you’ve got no plans apart from locking yourself at home.” Teddy looked proud of himself as he shrugged. “Problem solved.”
He wasn’t lying. Although you were a little embarrassed he would out you like that, you in fact did not have any other plans. Traitor.
“As lovely as Bucky seems, I don’t know him, Ted.” Quickly you glanced at Bucky and shyly uttered, “I mean no offense by that.”
“Don’t worry, dollface,” he said and you just knew by the grin on his face he was about to tease you. “I think I’m used to it by now.”
Bucky snorted at your mouth falling open in shock. Cheeky bastard.
“Oh, dating back in my day was so easy.” Teddy sighed. “You liked the look of someone? You speak to them. You want to get to know them? Great! Ask them out.”
You shook your head in exasperation. The complexities of modern dating weren't as simple as Teddy’s reasoning. Respectful, charming men didn’t just fall from the sky, unfortunately, and fairytales didn’t just happen.
Looking at Bucky, you gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry about him.” You threw a lighthearted glare at Teddy while you admonished him. “Someone doesn’t know how to keep their mouth shut.”
Bucky waited until you looked at him and shrugged with a lopsided smile. “Eh, I don’t mind the old man so much.” Scratching the back of his head, he admitted, “Especially when he sets me up with pretty girls in bookstores.”
Okay, maybe a few charming men fell from the sky.
You clasped your hands together tightly, repressing the urge to squeak from giddiness.
Bucky stepped forward and placed his single book onto the counter before he offered his arm to you. “What do you say, Doll? Fancy humoring me?”
While Bucky was still technically a stranger, Teddy knew him and one thing you were sure of was that he would never let any harm or danger come to you — you would be safe.
Sighing lightheartedly, you stepped out of Teddy’s hold and stood before Bucky. You observed the slight bob of his Adam’s apple, taking pleasure in the small victory of his nerves and decided to put him out of his misery. “I guess you wouldn’t be the worst company on my way home.”
Hooking your arm through Bucky’s, the glee that overtook his adorable face was worth your decision alone. He looked over to Teddy and gave him a single nod. “I'll take good care of her, Ted.”
“You better boy, because now I’m in trouble.”
You grabbed your book from Teddy, already bagged and paid for. “Me and you will talk next time,” you warned.
Teddy tightened his lips, hiding his laughter as he saluted you. “Yes, ma’am.”
Rolling your eyes, you looked to Bucky, “You’re sure you don’t mind? Please don’t feel as though you have to do this.”
But he just smiled earnestly, subtly pulling you closer towards him. “Believe me when I say I absolutely want to do this.”
Your cheeks warmed, flustered beyond belief. You were relieved as he started to usher you towards the coat rack, helping you pull your coat over your shoulders and wrapping your scarf around you.
With a departing wave, you said goodbye to both George and Teddy as you began to exit the store. Teddy’s shout of, “Have fun kids, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” was the last thing you both heard before the door closed.
George rounded the counter, having witnessed the whole exchange and curled up to his husbands side. He squinted his eyes in suspicion. “What are you up to, mister?”
Teddy continued to watch the two of you walk into the distance out the window, both jittery, arm in arm and a joint hidden excitement to be together. He just smiled as he shrugged. “Oh, nothing much, dear.”
“Little one, huh? Very cute.”
“Oh, god,” you groaned, ducking your head in embarrassment.
Bucky wasn’t deterred by your timidness, however as he gently nudged your shoulder and playfully whispered, “Almost suits you as much as Doll, sweetheart.”
Your huff of breath froze over in the cold air and you looked up at him with a shy smirk before shaking your head. “You’re good, you know. The women must love this — you stealing them from their daily life and whisking them away on dates.”
Bucky just laughed before he brought you closer to him, slinging an arm over your shoulder as he said, “Oh, so you're admitting this is a date, Doll?”
You couldn’t help gazing into his stormy blue eyes that lit up in the sunrise above you. He was carved by angels, you swore by it.
Walking forward, you detached yourself from Bucky’s hold, letting his arm drop, and spoke over your shoulder, “Play your cards right, handsome and we’ll see what this is by the end of the walk.”
You caught the redness creeping up Bucky’s face before you turned your head forward, though you did miss his goofy fist pump in the air.
The thud of his heavy footsteps neared as he caught up to you and you decided to play dumb when he sneakily snaked his arm through yours.
“So, Bucky,” you began. “Since we’re still practically strangers, let’s get to know each other.”
He quickly recovered and nodded in agreement, “Great idea, Doll. What do you wanna know?”
“Tell me what you do for work,” you said.
Bucky cheekily smiled before asking, “Any guesses before I tell you? No offense will be taken.”
“Wow,” you laughed. “You’re really making me work for forgiveness aren’t you?” You hummed in thought before saying aloud, “Okay, I have something.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Hit me with it, Doll.”
You hesitated a second before you muttered, “A drummer.”
“What?!” Bucky laughed in shock and stared at you, eyes wide. “A drummer?”
Giggling, you held your defense. “Oh, come on! You can’t blame me with the tattoos and the jewelry.” You gestured to his form before shrugging. “You just have this classic rockstar look to you — nothing wrong with that of course.”
Bucky held his free bare hand out, red from the cold and decorated with black ink. With a smirk, he leaned over to whisper in your ear, “The tattoos doin’ it for ya, Doll?”
His Brooklyn drawl caused a shiver to run down your spine and you lightly gasped. He chuckled, overly satisfied to have made you flustered while you attempted to keep your dignity in tact.
You bumped his hip with yours, ignoring his laughter. Brushing his flirtations off to try and keep your composure, you asked, “What is it you do then?”
A proud smile on his face, he answered, “I’m the owner of a vintage bike shop.”
You turned to look at him, taking in his appearance for the umpteenth time and cocked your head. “Hm… I can see that actually. You got the whole biker aesthetic going for you.”
You were pleased to see a small dust of red coat his cheeks. “Thanks, Dolly. Got anything else for me?” he asked, squeezing your hand.
“Do you have any family?” you asked tentatively, worried it may be a sensitive topic.
But Bucky’s face lit up at the mention and he turned to you, resembling an excited puppy. “I have the best family, Doll. My mom—Winnie, she raised me and my sister, Becca. They’re both amazing women and—“
As he went on, you stared at him and admired the way he spoke about the two most important women in his life — so full of love and awe for them that you felt like you knew them yourself. Your own mother had always taught you to take notice of a way a man speaks about other women in order for you to know how he would treat you. You were happy that Bucky did not disappoint.
Along your walk, you had learnt how Bucky had a secret passion for pottery, something that allowed him to create beauty and art from his calloused and worn hands that years of oil and mechanical work had damaged. You were also over the moon to hear he was an avid reader. Of course you knew he must have a knack for reading if you met him at a bookstore. But, his detailing of certain stories he enjoyed and quotes that had stuck with him from authors he loved had your heart melting even more.
The two of you continued to ask questions back and forth, learning more about the other as you walked together.
“So,” Bucky started. “Hypothetically speaking of course, since this isn’t our first date, what would your perfect one look like?”
You looked at him from the corner of your eye, watching as his eyes suspiciously darted around — whether he was digging for key information or not was a mystery to you. But you decided to answer the question anyway.
“I think,” you began. “I think I’d enjoy an active date — maybe like a trip to Coney Island? You know the one with the—“
“The cyclone!” Bucky said enthusiastically. “Oh man, I haven’t been there since me and Stevie were kids.”
“A good friend I take it?” You smiled, secretly enthralled by the way his eyes lit up.
“The best,” he nodded. “Sorry, Doll. I got a little carried away there.” Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that was free. “Carry on.”
“Don’t worry about it, it was cute.” you assured, before quickly clearing your throat once he started to smirk. “Anyway — after a couple of rides and games where my date wins me a stuffed bear, a romantic little trip on the ferris wheel would be next and he would pay to stop at the top so we can see the whole of Brooklyn.”
You feel Bucky’s stare on you as he said, “And then?”
“Then he would walk me home and kiss me goodnight.” You finished quietly.
“Interesting,” he mumbled. You didn’t miss the tone of his voice, one that made you skeptical of his antics. “So, kinda like I’m doing now?”
Smartass, you thought internally.
“Don’t be getting any ideas, Bucky,” you scolded lightheartedly. “This isn’t a first date, remember? You’re just walking me home.”
He thinned his lips, trying to contain his smirk. “Of course, of course.” A moment passed in peaceful silence before he muttered, “There’s still time though, right?”
Bucky ran away and out of your reach before you could land a playful whack to his arm.
“Come on, Doll — I’m a dateless man!” he shouted. “Are you really gonna leave a poor man high and dry?”
You scoffed, unable to contain the growing smile on your lips. “In your dreams, Bucky!”
In hindsight, you should have known his retort wasn’t going to be anything other than cheeky — especially, with his sinful grin that made butterflies flutter in your stomach. “That you will be, Doll.”
Beams of light from the sun, breaking through the clouds of the cold day, casted down over Bucky, creating the most heavenly glow over his features. Those ocean blue eyes that starstruck you from the very first look shone bright as ever and his piercings and rings that glistened had you entranced, wondering how they would feel against your body.
The walk home, while not long, had given you a fair insight to this man you had met not only an hour ago. Bucky was unlike anyone you had met before — sweet but mischievous and the biggest flirt you had ever known.
Not that you were complaining.
The two of you were shortening the distance to your apartment. Admittedly, you felt a small ache in your chest, disappointed that the walk had to end so soon. However, the steps to your apartment that you reached signified the end of your time with him.
Your hands twitched in anticipation. Was it inappropriate to want to see him again? Would you look desperate if you asked for a real date with him? An array of thoughts rushed through your mind until Bucky spoke over the scrambled mess in your head. “Okay. I have a confession to make.”
You looked up, frowning to witness him twirling the rings around his fingers, dare you say looking as nervous as you felt.
He had been making you stumble over yourself since your first bump in with his shameless flirtations and smooth moves. But now he was reduced to a man on edge.
Intrigued, you wished for him to keep talking, curious to know the cause of his unease. “Go on,” you urged, softly.
Bucky nodded and took a deep breath. “I may have seen you. In that same bookstore. A couple of weeks ago.” He ran a hand through his hair, wincing at his inability to formulate his sentences coherently. “I um—found it after wandering around one day. I was in the far corner when I saw you walk in for the first time.”
Your mouth fell agape, and your eyes widened while you listened intently. Though the shock of his confession rendered you speechless, you were rooted to the spot, hanging onto every word he said.
Then, he gazed straight into your eyes, stepping closer and you gulped. “I swear I had never seen someone so beautiful in my life. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, Doll.” He shook his head and laughed earnestly. “You’ve had me in a chokehold for the longest time.”
“But— But earlier?” You tried to get the words out to explain your confusion regarding the way he acted as though you met for the first time.
Bucky closed the distance between you, tentatively closing his hands over yours. “I’ve seen you every week, walking into that store with your bright eyes, taking in everything like it’s the first time all over again. And every week I found myself in that far corner, obsessing over you and falling for you a little more each time.” He sighed before finishing, “I’d been building up the courage to come up to you until I finally did — Today.”
You could only imagine how you must have looked — a deer in headlights most likely, about to run away. Honestly, you were floored and you weren’t quite sure your mind had caught up yet.
Attempting to settle your nerves, you cleared your throat. “You’re telling me,” you paused. “You’re telling me you planned on reaching for the same book as me? How did you even know which one I was going for?”
Bucky looked ultimately relieved that you hadn’t slapped him across the face just yet. His fingers twitched against yours while he laughed apprehensively. “Actually, I may have had a tiny bit of help with that one.”
The cogs turned in your head and after a while the realisation struck you from his suspicious antics this morning. “Teddy!” you gasped.
“Guilty as charged.” Bucky sheepishly smiled. “I asked him if he thought I had a chance with you the first time I saw you and he gave me some pointers.”
You couldn’t help the huff of laughter that spilled from your lips. The whole situation was incredulous, something that would never happen to you.
The tension slipped from Bucky’s shoulders, but his eyes still held on to some hope. Easing his worries, you grinned. “That was brave of you.”
Confidence visibly returned to him as he cockily shrugged, lips curving into his familiar smirk. “It was a risky move to take.”
Placing your hands on his chest, over his black leather jacket, you gave Bucky a run for his money as you caught his shudder with your eagle eye and decided to play him at his own game. “Some might even say creepy.”
“Oh yeah?” Bucky licked his lips and smoothed his hands over your hips. “Is that why you’re grinning like you’ve just found your future husband, Doll?”
This man, you thought to yourself. “You’re cheeky,” you replied aloud while you gripped his jacket.
“And you like it.” He squeezed your hips.
There was hardly any distance between you; eyes glued to the others like neither of you could bear to look away.
His eyes hooded as he joked playfully, “You gonna invite me up?”
You smacked his chest, watching the crows feet by his eyes crinkle with amusement in the sweetest way. “I don’t put out on the first date,” you batted back.
You weren’t prepared for the sudden shiver that rippled down your spine as he whispered, “Clever girl.”
The charged air heightened your senses, you could feel every minute movement his fingers made, the way his thumb rubbed back and forth over your waist.
“Can I have your name now?” Bucky disrupted the silence between you as his gaze flicked between your eyes.
The rebellious nature from earlier had only come back tenfold. Coming within a hair's breadth away from his lips, you daringly muttered, “I’ll give it to you on our next date.”
His eyes lit up, like a kid on Christmas. “Next date?”
Pushing him away with a smirk, you held your hand out while he dazed at you longingly. “Phone,” you said confidently.
You held in your laughter as Bucky quickly fumbled over himself, patting each of his pockets to find his mobile. Once located, he quickly slid it out of his leather jacket and into the palm of your hand.
The glow of his screen lit up your face while Bucky tried sneaking a peek. But you shoo’d him away and carried on typing into his phone.
Finally, you were finished and handed the phone back to him. With eagerness he grabbed it and instantly smiled with joy once he saw the screen. “Your number?”
“Use it wisely, handsome,” you purred. Leaving him staring at you in his own haze, you walked up the steps to your apartment, a sway to your hips. You couldn’t be completely sure whether you heard Bucky stifle a choke from behind you, but you ignored it for the sake of his ego.
Reaching the door to the lobby, you spun around on your feet and raised an eyebrow in question. “See you soon?”
Bucky grinned from ear to ear. “Absolutely, Doll.”
With that, you waved him goodbye and swung the door open, missing his besotted stare following you until you were out of sight.
You raced up the stairs, holding in your excitement while you entered your apartment. As soon as your apartment door was shut behind you, you released the squeal that had been trapped in your throat while you danced on the spot.
And at midnight, as you laid in bed thinking about Bucky, your phone chimed and you instantly grabbed with haste. The bright screen stung your eyes but once you saw who had texted you, they shot open — a thrill causing you to bite your lip and squeak.
Unknown Number: I was supposed to be asleep by 12 but you’re still on my mind.
A few weeks later…
Teddy and his husband, George were readying the shop to open again after closing because of maintenance. The early morning was quiet yet peaceful; the only thing to be heard were the birds singing their song as the sun rose and shone into the shop windows.
George leaned his elbow on the counter and sighed with nostalgia as he reminisced back to the beginning of their relationship. “Do you remember our first date, honey?”
Teddy spun around from his task of shelving the newly released books and smiled lovingly. “How could I forget?”
The two gazed over the space between them, lost in their own bubble of harmony when the chime of the bell above the door snapped them out of their reverie. They both knew it was the usual time you would visit the shop, precise to a fault.
With bright smiles, the pair looked towards the door, ready to greet you as was routine. But George gasped loudly when they found something a little extra glued to your side. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
Teddy, however, kept quiet — no vocal response to be heard, only the visible large grin on his face once he caught you looking at him with a sheepish smile.
“Well, good mornin’, little one,” he said teasingly.
You hid behind the tall frame next to you, embarrassed from being the center of attention. “Hi, Teds. Hi George,” your mousy voice spoke up.
Easing the attention of you, Teddy glanced to your side and raised his eyebrow with a smirk. “Bucky.”
Your new boyfriend smiled and nodded his head in greeting to both men. “Good to see you, fellas.” Gently, Bucky grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he began to lead you away. “Catch up with you shortly.”
Giggles and laughter echoed through the shop as you followed him down the closest aisle of books and away from prying eyes.
George rounded the counter and came to his husband’s side, looking at him with a sneaking suspicion. “You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that would you, honey?”
Teddy thinned his lips, hiding his smile as he glimpsed at the two of you disappearing from his sight before getting back to shelving the books in his hand. He spoke over his shoulder, with all the innocence he could muster. “Me? Not at all, George — That’s nothing but a little bit of magic from Cupid.”
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fun fact this is one of my top ten fics
Still on the list
Pairing: Frat!College!Bucky x College!Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye.
Word count: 14.1k
Warnings: annoyance to friends to lovers; panic attacks!; creepy man; angst and comfort; Bucky is a frat boy
author’s note: This took longer than I hoped, but I love it!
Masterlist
One minute.
One minute did it take for the class to end and yet it felt like an eternity.
You stared at the clock in anticipation, not paying an ounce of attention to what your professor was talking about.
Was he even talking?
Were you supposed to write something down?
You wouldn’t know.
RIING
Finally, the blissful sound of the bell pierced through the monotony.
You took your eyes off the clock in the far corner of the lecture hall, a sigh of relief leaving your lips and started packing your stuff.
“Alright class! See you on Monday! Have a great weekend.” Your professor exclaimed before walking out of the hall with a wave.
Amidst the chorus of thank you’s and see you on Monday’s and packing your laptop in your bag, alongside your pen and notebook (basically for small, unnecessary doodles, instead of notes) including your water bottle, you noticed Wanda slipping onto the bench beside you with her backpack draped over her right shoulder and an amused smile plastered on her face.
“Late again,” she teased.
You groaned. “Blame that slowpoke of a bus driver.”
“You know you can always ride with Pietro and me.” She nudged your shoulder playfully.
You offered her a grateful smile but shook your head. “It’s inconvenient for you.”
After being forced to live on campus for your first year of college you decided to get a small apartment to save some money and get the privacy you wanted and needed. Living on campus was expensive enough and with the small amount of money you got for working in a café and babysitting sometimes in the evening there wasn’t much left for you to enjoy yourself a little.
You never really enjoyed living in a dorm together with someone you didn’t know and sharing that same space. Your roommate for that first year was perpetually boisterous and tried dragging you to every party within a five-mile radius. Despite your initial resistance, you eventually succumbed to peer pressure. After enduring an eternity of loud music and plastic cups thrust into your hand, you found yourself in the grim confines of a bathroom stall, holding back your roommate‘s unruly hair as she retched into the toilet bowl. It was a moment of disillusionment that solidified your resolve to seek solitude and sanctuary away from the chaos of dormitory life.
Though you hated every minute of that day, in the end, you were glad you went, because it was where you met Wanda.
As fate would have it, Wanda found herself reluctantly dragged to the same party by none other than her brother, Pietro. Aforementioned guy managed to catch your roommate since she ‘accidentally’ slipped in front of him. She kept giggling with his arms draped around her and you apologized to him and Wanda though you knew it was actually really not your fault.
So while your roommate occupied Pietro you had a pleasant conversation with his sister. You clicked immediately.
“It takes ten minutes Y/n, it’s truly no big deal.”
“Well, I’ll keep it in mind! Thanks, Wan!”
You walked out of the hall and crossed campus together. Since you just had this one lecture today you signed in for a shift at the café you worked at and were just about to bid Wanda goodbye when-
“Maximoff!”
You didn’t make any attempt to even try not to roll your eyes.
Wanda turned around and so did you eventually, not concealing your dissatisfaction with the approaching guy, a scowl forming on your face.
Bucky Barnes.
Of course.
Now, there were a lot of things you tolerated. It was hard to rile you up, but Bucky Barnes? He exceeded every limit.
You couldn’t stand the guy. And he knew it.
He caught up to you girls and kept his attention on your friend.
“Hey, Wanda! You have a minute?”
Before she could react he turned to you, pretending to see you just now.
“Oh. Y/n! Haven’t seen you there.”
You wanted to punch that arrogant grin off his face.
“What do you want?”
“Well as I was gonna ask Wanda,” he emphasized her name with a playful drawl and turned to her, “You and your brother are coming today right? Sam got the drinks and we got a new beer pong table. We gotta initiate it correctly.”
Another eye roll escaped you as Wanda shot you a brief, amused glance before addressing Bucky. “Pietro’ll come. The party was the only thing he talked about this morning.”
“Perfect!” Bucky grinned. “You’ll come too right? You can have a plus one!” He nodded his head towards you while meeting your steely gaze with unwavering confidence.
“Nothing will get me to enter your stupid frat party Barnes!” you retorted dryly.
Bucky’s grin remained firmly in place, his cockiness bordering on infuriating.
“Well I’ll be there,” he declared, turning his attention toward you with a smirk.
You cocked your head. “There’s the reason why.”
A soft sigh from Wanda diverted your attention, prompting you to check the time on your phone.
“Whatever, I gotta go!” With a brief hug, you bid her goodbye.
“Text me later?”
“Course, Wan!”
You flashed her a quick smile before striding away, ignoring Bucky’s futile attempt to prolong the conversation.
“Where ya goin' ?” he shouted after you.
“Work!” Your response was curt and you continued your way.
****
“That’ll be 4.75$.”
The girl in front of you swiped her card through the card reader and you placed the cup with her latte on the counter separating you.
You thanked her for the small tip and turned away when she left, to stock up on the coffee beans. You leaned down and grabbed the bag out of a drawer from under the counter as you heard the door to the shop open.
Your coworker went to the storage room to store the milk that came in a few minutes before and it wasn’t that busy so you were good on your own out front.
“Just a sec!” you called while opening the bag and pouring the beans in, standing with your back to the counter.
“All good! I’m in no hurry.”
You stilled for a second, almost pouring over the beans. Although you couldn’t see him right now you could tell he wore that shit-eating grin again.
You pulled the bag away harshly with a few falling out. You would take care of that later. Probably not though.
You put the bag aside, preparing yourself to turn around, and came face to face with the one and only Bucky Barnes.
Seriously?
Two times in a day?
You wiped over your apron and met his gaze. “What can I get you?” You tried feigning that kindness you were supposed to show your guests though you knew you could try more.
Not taken aback by your grimace and still slightly annoyed tone he leaned on the counter and pretended to contemplate what to get.
You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at him.
“I think I’ll go for a black coffee,” He grinned at you.
You uncrossed your arms to get to work. “Small, medium, large?” You were really trying to stay professional here.
“I’ll take it medium, doll.”
It wasn’t the first time he called you that, though you‘ve heard it come out of his mouth plenty of times to plenty of girls so you guessed he didn’t even recognize he was calling you that too.
You got to work while Bucky watched you intently, still leaning on the counter.
You hoped he would stay silent but guessed that thought was futile since he walked in here.
“So, you think about coming?”
“No.”
“No, you haven’t thought about it or no, you aren’t coming?”
“Both.”
It wasn’t the first time he somehow tried to get you to come to one of his frat parties. Be it through Wanda or Pietro or just blatantly asking you to come. You knew your answer every time. He should have known that too but he seemingly never stopped trying.
“Aww, come on doll! Already put you on the list.”
“Do whatever you please Barnes but I’m not coming,” you retorted while finishing up his coffee and sliding it across the counter over to him. “That’ll be 2.95$.”
Will Wanda come?” He didn’t attempt to grab the cup, instead he stayed rooted and looked at you.
“Don’t know. Maybe”
After that party your former roommate dragged you to, you avoided them at all costs and managed not to attend any other. Wanda sometimes came along with Pietro to get him back home after drinking too much. You considered coming along for moral support a few times but didn’t want to give Bucky the satisfaction of getting you to come. And Wanda always claimed she‘d be fine.
He leaned to take the cup of coffee and a milk pack from beside where you were standing.
“Alright well, you know where to go,” he slid over a 5$ bill. “Keep the change!” He lifted the cup a bit. “And thanks!” Giving you his signature smirk.
“Barnes that’s too much for a single coffee!” you protested and were about to collect his change but he was already halfway out of the shop.
“Keep it!” he threw over his shoulder and you looked after him a little irritated.
His persistence annoyed you to no end so why did your lips curl up in a smile, despite yourself?
****
You didn’t come.
It was nearly midnight and you found yourself nestled in your bed, the soft glow of your laptop illuminating the room as you rewatched a movie for the umpteenth time.
There probably would be a few things you’d like to do instead, but going to one of Bucky's notorious frat parties, will just never be one of them.
You couldn’t even really tell why you held such a grudge against the guy. He never really was explicitly rude or anything, yet there was something about his demeanor that rubbed you the wrong way.
Bucky Barnes had been a constant presence on campus since day one. Whether it was in the hallways or outside the building, Bucky was always surrounded by a rotating cast of admirers, girls vying for his attention. It became a familiar sight to see him engrossed in conversation with yet another girl, his charm seemingly boundless.
Amidst the flurry of attention and admiration that surrounded Bucky, there were moments when his gaze seemed to linger in your direction as if seeking to ensnare your attention as he did with others. You’d catch him looking at you in the hallways. You’d see him standing outside your lecture hall, although he didn’t even attend this class. However, you never attempted to acknowledge him and were set on keeping your distance.
In your second semester, you found yourself sharing a course with him. That was where he first initiated interactions with you. At first, it was a subtle passing glance, a nod, and a smile of acknowledgment, but soon his efforts to engage with you became more pronounced. It started with a request for notes when he wasn’t there the other day. And then there were times when you ran late and he saved you a seat beside him, sending you a wave and a charming grin.
But then you would watch him effortlessly flirt with other girls, letting them sit on his lap and whispering in their ear, you having the front row seat. You couldn’t pinpoint why his flirting with other girls left a bitter taste in your mouth, but it deepened your reservation, solidifying your decision to maintain a sense of distance.
Despite not sharing any classes with Bucky in your second year, he seemed determined not to let your lack of proximity deter his efforts to engage with you. His persistent attempts to catch your attention continued unabated - although you never gave him much to work with - seeming to find a way to cross paths with you all the time.
The first time he asked you to come to one of his frat parties, you were sitting in a small booth at a café near campus, nursing a latte and discussing your professors together with Wanda and Pietro.
You laugh. “Right? She once even gave-”
“Pietro! Hey, man,” comes his voice across the café and Bucky Barnes approaches you three.
You drop your smile and divert your attention to your latte as Bucky greets Pietro and Wanda.
“Y/n! Nice to see you.” His voice dripping with charm.
Upon hearing your name you lift your head and offer a strained smile, hoping to convey at least a semblance of politeness.
“Hi,” you answer lamely, not an ounce of enthusiasm found in your voice.
Bucky’s smirk deepens in response, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Your smile turns into a grimace.
“You coming tonight man?” he asks Pietro.
“Course Buck! I‘ll be there.”
“Great!” His attention turns to you.
“You girls are welcome too, you know.”Although addressing both, Wanda and you, he keeps his gaze on you.
“Yeah, no thanks!”
“We’ll think about it!”
Wanda sends you a glare, reminding you to stay nice. Though Bucky doesn’t seem fazed by your lack of interest, the boyish smirk still present on his lips.
“Well, I’d be happy to see you.”
You don’t even have time to answer him when a brunette, standing at the counter, calls his name.
You look in her direction though his eyes remain on you a few seconds longer until he turns away and bids his goodbye. Wanda and Pietro answer him while you remain silent, taking refuge in your coffee cup.
He was attractive, you gotta give him that but you never were someone to go after looks. There were so many more important things to see in people. Sure, you don’t know how he treated or saw his flings, or hookups, or whatever but you supposed you didn’t wanna know.
****
After you worked your ass off at the café during the weekend you were more than unpleased to be sitting in your lecture hall at 8 in the morning on a Monday. At least the bus was on time you supposed.
Wanda slid in beside you and put down a cup of coffee in front of you before unpacking her backpack.
“Oh god Wan, you’re an Angel!” You took a big sip and sighed dramatically.
Wanda snickered softly, organizing her notes.
“You know, Pietro told me someone was a bit disappointed,” she began and you looked at her confused.
“The party,” she continued but you just stared at her oblivious.
She sighed. “He hoped you’d come this time.” She studied you with a careful expression but you saw the corners of her lips turning up lightly.
You blinked. “Why would he think that?”
Wanda shrugged. “Well he’s pretty persistent,” She studied you some more and you began to feel uneasy, “You could give him a chance.”
“Huh?” you mumbled, caught off guard.
Turning toward you fully, Wanda leaned in slightly. “I don’t really know him that well, but he’s different with you. Pietro’s mentioned it. He’s never made this much effort with anyone else.“
Perplexed, you pondered her words.
“And honestly,” Wanda continued, “He’s a nice guy. I mean I get he’s got girls around all the time-”
You grimaced.
“-but he’s not the guy to lead anyone on or make someone feel worthless, I’m sure of it.”
That got you silent and you looked at her, pouting your lips in contemplation.
“He had a girlfriend once but as far as Pietro knows it didn’t end well. She moved away and they tried that long-distance relationship crap-”
You raised an eyebrow.
“-but she then started seeing someone else without telling him.”
You exhaled deeply, processing the information. “Alright well that sucks…sure…but is that a reason to use girls like that?”
“How are you so sure that’s what this is?” Wanda countered
Before you could respond, your professor arrived, saving you from further discussion. You were kinda glad he was on time cause you really had no idea how to answer that. You couldn’t know what he does with those girls. What he told them. How he treated them. How he made them feel.
Actually
You didn’t know anything about him at all.
****
Nearly two weeks had passed and you haven’t seen Bucky since he came by the café you worked at. Despite your efforts to push him out of your mind, you found yourself occasionally thinking about him or scanning the hallways for a glimpse of him.
Wanda got sick the day prior so you were sitting alone in class. After making idle conversation with some fellow students, you decided to stay back and finish up your notes.
You heard footsteps approaching but didn’t look up until someone settled beside you.
“That looks kinda complicated.”
Irritation bubbled up, but you were surprised to find you didn’t immediately feel the urge to roll your eyes all the way up to your brain at the sound of his voice. Reluctantly, you turned to face him, a sigh leaving your lips
“What are you doing here? This isn’t even your class!”
“Came looking for ya,” he replied, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.
You returned your attention back to your notes. “What for?”
“Shouldn’t you be able to tell?” He grinned and bumped your upper arm lightly.
That was the first time he initiated any form of physical contact and you weren’t sure what to make of it.
“Another party, I assume,” you remarked plainly.
“Smart girl! Missed you the last time.”
“Then have fun missing me this time as well,” you retorted, not bothering to look at him.
You felt his eyes on your profile but didn’t turn to him.
“Well just wanted to let you know you’re still on the list,” he said, his voice laced with that characteristic smirk.
That dude really wouldn’t give up, would he?
Quickly finishing your notes and packing away your things, you draped your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave the hall. As you turned to go, you glanced back at him.
“I’ll think about it,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm, though deep down you couldn’t deny that small part of you, that was considering his invitation this time.
****
The party started by now.
Standing in your bedroom you wavered on the threshold of the decision to go to his party or not.
You found yourself grappling with uncertainty, questioning the motivations behind your sudden inclination to attend the party. Was it a twinge of guilt for his past misfortunes that nudged you towards empathy? Or perhaps a genuine curiosity sparked by the desire to unravel the enigma of his persistent invitations?
You pondered, your thoughts swirling. Perhaps this was all a game to him? Or maybe there was something deeper, something he needed to prove to himself or to others.
Yet, the idea of subjecting yourself to potential humiliation at a frat party churned your stomach. You had no desire to be caught in the whirlwind of debauchery and recklessness.
But Wanda didn’t really make him seem like the kinda guy to pull shit like that.
Though how could she be sure?
The sudden ringing of your phone shattered the swirling thoughts that had consumed you, pulling you back to the present moment. With a grateful sigh, you glanced down at the screen, Wanda’s name lighting it up.
“Hey Wan,” you greeted her while laying back on your bed.
“Hey Y/n. I assume you’re not at the party.”
“Nope, you know me.”
“Okay well, could I ask for a favor?” Wanda’s voice held a hint of hesitation.
You sat up. “Yeah, sure Wan, what’s up?”
“Pietro will need someone to pick him up later but I’m still feeling pretty shitty at the moment and…I don’t know I was thinking maybe-“
“You’re asking me to pick him up?” you finished her sentence, sighing deeply.
“Kinda, yeah,” Wanda confirmed sheepishly.
You chuckled. “Sure, I can do that Wan, no problem.”
You could hear the relief in Wanda’s breath. “Thank you babes, I owe you! You can take his car, I’ll leave the keys under the pot outside.”
“You don’t owe me anything Wan, I’m glad I can help! You stay in bed and rest, alright? I’ll take care of your brother,” you assured her.
After exchanging a few more words, you hung up and prepared to leave. Opting for a casual outfit you threw on some wash jeans and a shirt.
Considering you spent a good amount of time on spiraling whether to go or not it got rather late already and it still would take you some time to get to Pietros car and to the party.
You grabbed the keys from under the pot, got in the car and started driving. It had been a while since you made use of your license considering you couldn’t afford your own vehicle, but you managed.
As you parked the car and stepped out onto the pavement, the distant throb of bass pulsed through the air, a tangible force that seemed to reverberate through your entire being. With each step towards the fraternity house, the music grew louder, assaulting your senses with its relentless intensity.
You walked up to the guy standing at the door with a ripped sheet of paper in his hand. You assumed that was what Bucky referred to as list.
“Hey, uh, I’m here to pick up Pietro Maximoff,” you stated, hoping to avoid being drawn into the revelry inside.
The guy’s smirk was infuriating as he chuckled dismissively. “Oh I’m sure he’s a little busy right now.”
Suppressing a sigh, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his remark.
“What’s your name sweetie, you could always go in and join the party.”
“Yeah no I’m fine, I’ll just-”
“Wait, are you the infamous Y/n?”
You blinked. You were not entirely used to people knowing your name. You’d like to believe you were nobody. Whether on campus nor in general. So why did this random guy know your name and call you infamous?
You didn’t have to answer, instead the guy nodded towards the door, granting you entry with a casual wave.
“Come on in, Buck will be thrilled to see you,” he remarked, stepping aside to let you pass.
Feeling utterly disoriented and out of place, you stepped inside, your senses assaulted by the overwhelming cacophony of noise and the oppressive heat of the crowded room. The stench of sweat and alcohol hung heavy in the air, causing you to wrinkle your nose in disgust. With each step, the floor seemed to cling to your shoes, a sticky reminder why you avoided this for so long.
You tried to adjust to the flickering lights and internally scolded the person who decided those colors were a good match when you heard your name be called.
“Y/n?”
You weren’t surprised to hear his voice since it was partly his party but you were surprised he recognized you this fast since you just stepped inside. Was he watching the door?
His smile greeted you as he stood before you, and you were blinded for a second there.
“You’re here!”
“Uh, well I’m kinda just here to pick up Pietro. Wanda asked me to.”
Bucky’s smile faltered slightly at your words. Clearing his throat, he offered a tentative response. “Oh. Well, haven’t seen him,” he exclaimed, his gaze momentarily flickering away before returning to meet yours.
As Pietro’s slurred voice called out your name, you turned to see your friend stumbling towards you, a wide grin plastered across his face. He draped an arm around your shoulders, and you instinctively supported him, wrapping your own arm around his waist to steady him.
“What’re you doin’ here, princessa?” Pietro slurred, his words punctuated by a drunken laugh.
You laughed. “Came here to pick you up, Piet. Wanda’s still not feeling well.”
But Pietro, clearly undeterred by your explanation, attempted to pull you along with him, his movements unsteady as he swayed on the spot within your hold.
“Let’s get you a drink, princessa,” he insisted, his grip tightening around you.
Refusing to indulge his request, you gently guided him towards the door, ignoring his protests. As you turned to leave, you caught sight of Bucky, his jaw clenched and his eyes darting away from your close proximity.
“I guess thanks for the invite Barnes but this really isn’t my scene.” You gave him a tight lipped smile and turned to Pietro again.
Meanwhile, Bucky remained rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on the door you just disappeared behind.
****
Since that day at the party three weeks ago, Bucky had been somewhat of a ghost, disappearing from the usual campus scene. Despite not seeing him, thoughts of him seemed to linger in the back of your mind and you caught yourself looking out for him in the hallways.
You made your way to the restrooms between your two classes of the day cause you just had to drown yourself in coffee on your 4-hour shift in the café this morning.
After locking yourself in one of the cabins that still held toilet paper you heard the door to the restroom creak open and made out the hushed voices of two girls filtering in. One of them clearly crying.
“What’s wrong with me? He literally jumped in bed with every other girl on campus! Why not me?” the girl sobbed hysterically while her friend got her some paper towels from the dispenser.
You rolled your eyes at her antics and decided to just wait out until they left.
“I don’t know El, but Jake did say something about him wanting to change.” You could picture her gesturing quotation marks with her fingers at the ‘wanting to change’ part. And though you weren’t quite the type to gossip you held your breath and listened intently.
The other girl blew her nose while her friend continued.
“He hasn’t been to a party for the last, I don’t know, maybe three weeks or something. Just stayed locked in his room. That’s what Jake told me. Don’t know what to make out of it though,” the girl chuckled, “I mean it’s Bucky we’re talking about.”
As Bucky’s name entered the conversation, your ears perked up, and you felt compelled to listen. Thoughts swirl in your mind, multiplying like rabbits in a field. Was that night you picked up Pietro the last party he attended? Why the sudden disappearance into seclusion? Why would he lock himself in his room? Why did he dump that girl? You didn’t know who that Jake dude was but you weren’t sure if he was right.
You snapped out of your thoughts to catch the still crying girl whine again. “But I tried really hard Meg! I pinned notes on his locker, I smiled at him all the time, I sent him my notes from history per mail, the one time he didn’t come and I slipped my phone number into his backpack when he wasn’t looking-”
Suddenly you were grateful for standing right beside a toilet cause you felt the urge to vomit.
“-and he just straight up told me he’s not interested?!”
You heard the other girl, Meg, probably short for Meghan or something but why would you care, sigh. “I’m sorry El, but maybe he’s really just trying to become better than that.”
The crying thankfully stopped and was replaced by a scoff and an exasperated intake of breath. Personally, you’d describe it as overly dramatic but who were you to judge.
As the girls finally departed, leaving behind the remnants of their dramatic exchange, you released a sigh of relief.
After finishing what you came in here for in the first place you left the restroom as well and walked through the hallway on your way to your next class.
And as god, or the devil, or Mother Nature, or something the fuck else wouldn’t have it any other way there he was. Bucky was standing at his locker, taking a look at a pink piece of paper in his hand for only a second before crumpling it in his fist. You could only guess what it was.
He turned to the trash can to throw it in there and when he looked back up he met your gaze. His eyes lit up at seeing you, but nevertheless, you noticed the tired look he wore and couldn’t help but feel kinda bad for him.
Normally when passing Bucky in the hallway you wouldn’t spare him an attention spawn over two seconds but here you were giving him a somewhat genuine smile, a rare display of empathy, which he reciprocated immediately.
Even as you turned the corner and continued on your way, you couldn’t shake the sensation of his eyes lingering on you. You couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading in your stomach.
Bucky stopped asking you to come to his parties. As far as you knew he didn’t even attend them himself anymore. You shared with Wanda what you overheard in the restroom, and after confirming with Pietro, it became clear that Bucky was indeed making some significant changes in his lifestyle.
Bucky Barnes was truly an enigma.
Armed with insider information from Wanda, you learned that Bucky refrained from being seen with any girl for weeks and stopped planning and attending the frat parties. He seemingly even talked about leaving the fraternity altogether.
You don’t know what to do with those information but you did notice a shift yourself. You saw Bucky again two times since you passed him in the hallway a few days ago.
You were walking through the library together with Pietro and Wanda when you saw him sitting there in the far corner with his textbook open and a pencil poised. You stood and drank in the sight of him for a moment. His brows were furrowed deep in concentration and he lightly tapped his pen on his notebook rhythmically. He let his hair grow out a little, wisps falling onto his forehead. He sure as hell was a sight for sore eyes.
As if he picked up on your staring he lifted his head and looked over in your direction. The intensity of Bucky’s gaze sent a jolt through you, causing your heart to race as you hastily averted your eyes, feigning interest in the books on the nearby shelf. Despite your attempt to appear nonchalant, you could feel the warmth of his gaze lingering on you.
Stealing another glance in his direction, finding him still watching you, his soft smile a stark contrast to the cocky grin you were accustomed to. The corners of your mouth lifted ever so slightly without having your consent.
The sudden interruption of Pietro’s arm around your shoulders broke the spell between Bucky and you, snapping him out of his reverie. With a subtle shift in his posture, he straightened his back and lowered his head back to his textbook.
The other time, yesterday, you decided to join Wanda and grab something to eat at the canteen. As you stood in line with Wanda you were the one to feel eyes on you, prompting you to turn and find Bucky’s piercing blue gaze fixed on you.
Your lips curled in a smile and Bucky’s sweet grin in response sent a flutter through your chest.
To your own disappointment, you ended up sitting with your back to him throughout eating, though you pushed it aside.
****
It was a long day.
You had a shift at the café this morning and then went straight to Uni where you dragged yourself through your classes of the day. It was already starting to get dark when you walked around campus to get to your bus station.
This was your routine on Wednesdays but something felt weird. There was a shiver creeping up your spine and you tightened your coat around yourself, hugging your waist, as a response to that feeling of unease.
“Hey! Girl!”
Your heart dropped at the shout and although it came from behind you, you just knew it was meant for you. Unconsciously you picked up your pace, hugging yourself tighter and scolding yourself for not getting pepper spray.
“Hey, you! I’m talking to you!”
You heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind and let out a gasp as rough fingers grabbed onto your wrist, turning you to the man with that gruff voice.
He was tall. His beard, grizzly and grossly outgrown, held a few drops of whatever might be in the bottle he held in his other hand. His clothes were lumpy and held stains, dark eyes pierced through you.
“I’m sure you’re so kind to give a man some money for cigarettes, little girl, huh?”
You stared at the man in front of you, frozen out of fear. Your heart plummeted in your chest and you felt the hand around your wrist tightening. You swallowed thickly but your throat still felt like sandpaper. You wanted to talk but nothing left your mouth.
“Well if I don’t get money you could always pay me differently,” He licked his lips and his eyes roamed over your body. He got hold of your other wrist and you suppressed a whimper.
You wanted to yell at him to let you go. You wanted to kick him where the sun wouldn’t shine. You wanted to scream for anybody to help you. But you couldn’t. You were frozen in place, your voice lost in your throat.
“Hey!”
Another voice.
“Let her go!”
You knew this voice. It was oddly familiar, but you couldn’t comprehend how you knew it.
There was a figure approaching in long, fast strikes and you wanted to go take a look but the man still standing in front of you grabbed you even tighter, which led to another gasp exiting your lips.
You heard your name called and looked in the direction of the newcomer.
Bucky.
It was Bucky.
Relief flooded your body and you finally were able to take a controlled intake of breath again.
“Do you know this guy?” Bucky's concerned gaze bored into you and you shook your head weakly.
That’s all he needed to turn to the guy still having a hold on your wrists. “You let her go right now!” The dangerously low and calm tone of his voice and the way he was talking to you way softer just seconds before let you shiver and caused your head to spin.
The other guy scoffed and let your wrists fall to take a step back, holding his arms up in a surrendering kind of way. Bucky immediately stepped in front of you. “Relax man, did nothing to that girl!”
“You better want to stay the hell away from her or anyone else. I don’t want to see you here again!” Bucky’s voice was laced with a dark, threatening tone, his stance unwavering as he shielded you from the menacing stranger. Despite the age difference, Bucky’s intimidation factor was undeniable.
Said man scoffed and stumbled away a little. Bucky kept watching him till he was out of sight and turned to you in an instant. Not sure if you were okay to be touched, his hands hovered over your arms as he leaned down to catch your eye, his concern evident in every gesture.
“Hey, Y/n, are you okay?”
Your gaze remained fixated on his collarbone, unable to meet his eyes. Absentmindedly, you rubbed the wrist of your right wrist, where the man had gripped you, feeling the tenderness and likely bruises forming there.
“Doll please look at me!” he pleaded, though you remained stoic, your emotions tightly locked away. His worry was palpable, evident in the furrow of his brows and the hesitant hover of his hands, unsure of how to comfort you.
“Eyes up here sweetheart, please!” His voice was softer than you’ve ever heard. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lifted your head, allowing your gaze to trail up his face until your eyes met his. There was a hint of panic in his expression, his eyes searching yours with such urgency, that it was almost overwhelming. You felt a lump form in your throat at the raw emotion reflected in his blue orbs.
“That’s it doll! Just like that!” He let out a breath of relief but never took his eyes off of you. He signaled to your wrists without breaking eye contact. “Can I take a look?”
You swallowed thickly, your throat tight with emotion, but you gave a slight nod, granting Bucky permission to inspect your wrists. Gently he took your right hand in his left, lifting your sleeve with the other to reveal the red and purple marks beneath. His touch was featherlight as he trailed his fingertips over your sensitive skin, but when you recoiled slightly, he pulled back immediately, murmuring an apology.
With your eyes trained on your wrist, you felt Bucky's finger under your chin to tilt your head up gently, coaxing you to look at him once more. “I’ve got you doll, okay? He’s gone. It’s alright!” he reassured you, a hint of fury underlying his voice as he recalled the man who caused you harm and left you in this state.
Taking a hesitant hold of your hand once again, Bucky brushed his thumb soothingly over the back, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you intently.
Despite your curt nod, you found yourself avoiding his gaze once more.
“I know it’s hard sweetheart but I really need you to say something. Need to make sure you’re okay. Can you do that for me?” Bucky’s voice was filled with gentleness, patience, and genuine concern, causing a lump to form in your throat.
Taking a deep breath, you mustered the strength to look at him again, your eyes glazed from the overwhelming emotions consuming you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but Bucky heard you.
He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his other hand along your upper arm. “No need to thank me, sweetheart! I’m glad I was there!”
“Me too,” you found yourself saying, unable to hold back the gratitude flooding your heart. It was a miracle that Bucky showed up at the right moment, and you will forever be grateful for his intervention. The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t been there sent a shiver down your spine.
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and he watched you with such fondness and adoration, your knees grew weak. You even managed to muster a small smile in return.
You took a deep, shuddering breath in, feeling the awkwardness settling in as you realized you had never been that close to Bucky before. Although you felt surprisingly grounded in his presence, you couldn’t shake the discomfort of the situation.
Releasing his hand, you rubbed your forehead, avoiding his gaze as you tried to find the right words. “Uhm...thank you, Bucky, really, but I think I’m just gonna…,” you trailed off, gesturing towards the bus stop in the near distance.
“Woah hold on now doll! I’m not gonna let you go home alone!” Bucky protested, shaking his head.
“It’s fine Barnes really! I’m just gonna call Wanda or Pietro. Surely one of them can come pick me up,” you didn’t really consider calling them but you’d feel bad for inconveniencing Bucky when he would be at his flat in a few minutes himself.
But Bucky was determined.
“No need to call them. I’ll drive you! Sam has a car and we’re just, like, two minutes away,” he pleaded, gaze so intense, almost forcing you to look away.
You sighed, feeling torn. “That’s really nice but I don’t wanna bother you furthermo-”
“Y/n you’re not bothering me! Never! Now please let me do this. Let me take you home,” he interrupted gently but firmly, his grip on your elbow a reassuring presence. You tried to conceal your lingering stress, but nothing could hide it from him.
“I-I can’t ask you to do that,” you murmured, your eyes shifting.
“I’m the one asking sweetheart. Please let me drive you home.” His eyes were hard to discern in the dim light, but the sincerity and concern in his voice were unmistakable.
With a sigh and a final look at the bus stop, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” you whispered.
A smile spread on Bucky's face and he gently turned the hand on your elbow to the small of your back to lead you to the flat house.
As you approached the building, you recognized it from the brief time you spent at the party. However, without the thumping bass, overpowering smell of alcohol, and chaotic atmosphere, the place appeared surprisingly cozy in the dim light
Never once leaving contact with your back he guided you to a room at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door softly.
“Took your sweet time man-” a guy - Sam, you assumed him to be - standing in the doorframe, stopped talking upon noticing you. A slow smile curled upon his lips. “Can see why.”
“It’s not how it looks like,” Bucky hissed quickly, talking through his teeth. “Can I borrow your car?”
“Sure, man,” confirmed Sam, reaching for a key from a hook beside the door. “Don’t be too late for class tomorrow,” he added with a wink.
A lump formed in your throat as you grappled with your thoughts. It was natural to assume Bucky would have certain expectations given his reputation. After all, he was known for his past behavior of sleeping around. The transformation he seemingly went through couldn’t happen overnight, after all.
You found it hard to believe that Bucky would take advantage of your vulnerability, especially considering how he came to your rescue during the unsettling encounter just moments before. Yet, despite this reassurance, your mind continued to wrestle with uncertainty, plagued by lingering doubts and fears.
Bucky could feel you tense beside him and shot daggers at Sam even when said guy already disappeared behind the door.
As he walked you to Sam’s car, Bucky held the door open for you, guiding you inside with gentle reassurance. Determined not to leave you alone for too long, he rushed around the front of the car to take the driver’s seat.
During the drive, silence filled the car as you tried to calm your breathing, focusing on the passing scenery outside the window. Your efforts to quell your anxiety were hardly manageable, due to the bouncing of your leg and your trembling hands, fiddling with the fabric of your jacket.
Bucky discreetly stole glances at you as he drove, noticing your nervousness.
15 minutes of driving later, Bucky came to a halt in front of your apartment complex. You unbuckled yourself and before you realized what was going on Bucky opened the door at your side. You didn’t even notice him getting out of the car.
Feeling weak in your knees you got out of the car. Bucky walked you to your door, hands held by his side in case you needed him and his presence offered you a sense of comfort. As you came to a halt in front of your door, you turned your body to him, trying to muster up a smile. You attempted to convey your gratitude although that unease still lingered in your bones.
“Thank you, Barnes! For everything!”
“No need to thank me, Y/n. I’m glad I could help. Will you be okay though?” His concern was genuine, struggling to leave your side.
He looked so hesitant to leave you, it would have been adorable in other circumstances. You felt guilty for entertaining the thought he would take advantage of your situation. You even believed he would be relieved if you asked him to stay with you. You had to admit, the comfort his presence gave you was easing your anxiety, though you couldn’t ask him to stay.
You conjured up a smile. “I’ll be fine,” you assured him, unlocking your door. Bucky stayed rooted on the spot, returning an unsure smile, looking torn. “I’m gonna be okay, really! Get home safe, Barnes.”
Bucky cleared his throat, evading his eyes for a moment and taking a reluctant step backward, but he remained turned to you. After exchanging a quick goodbye you disappeared behind your door.
Bucky watched you climb the stairs through the small window in the door, his gaze unwavering even as the hallway inside turned dark again. He remained rooted outside, his thoughts consumed by concern for your well-being.
Bucky couldn’t shake the desire to talk to you again, especially since that night at the party. He tried so hard to muster up the courage, never having a problem in that department before, but he was a nervous wreck. Now, in an unexpected turn of events he did get to talk to you again, however, he despised how it had unfolded. Seeing you struggle to hold back tears, desperately trying not to break down in front of him, pained him deeply. It hurt to witness your shock, pleading with you to snap out of your state.
The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t returned, if he hadn’t forgotten his notebook, made him feel sick to his stomach. The mere idea of leaving you to face that situation alone was unbearable to him. Now leaving you alone so shaken felt inherently wrong in any sense, but he acknowledged he didn’t know you well enough to override your request that you would be fine. His instincts urged him to stay but he had to respect your words and your space.
Bucky seethed at the thought of Sam insinuating that he would use you in such a way. Sure, Sam didn’t know what happened to you and it wasn’t his fault Bucky had a reputation like that, but somehow it made him angry. You meant more to him than that. The mere suggestion of exploiting you for his own gain left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he silently vowed to prove Sam wrong by showing you the genuine depth of his feelings and intentions.
Girls constantly approached Bucky, attempting to touch him in the hallways or slipping their phone numbers into his locker, backpack, or books. Just the other day, a particularly bold girl even tried to write her number on his hand. Although she didn’t succeed, Bucky found himself standing in front of the sink for a while, scrubbing at his hand to erase any trace of her advances.
Bucky knew that he was viewed as nothing more than a means for physical pleasure. And he was okay with that, for an embarrassingly long time. The idea of being in a committed relationship and facing the responsibilities that came with it used to repulse him. His desires were simple - a brief encounter with no strings attached, followed by a swift departure, leaving no room for emotional entanglements. At a certain time, one smirk of a pretty girl was enough to jump into bed with her.
You were pretty too. Beautiful even. He acknowledged that day one. But never did he consider reducing you to a mere physical encounter. He noticed you in the hallways and felt intrigued, contemplating flirting with you just like he did with all the other girls. However, there was something different about you. He felt nervous around you, realizing that he cared about your opinion of him more than he cared to admit. He was strangely exhilarated at finding out you would share a class in second semester, trying to find a way to build some kind of connection with you.
That night, as you expressed your disinterest in frat parties, he felt the pull you had on him, without even knowing you well. The alcohol at the party suddenly tasted sour, the air felt stifling, the crowd too dense, the music too deafening, and the girls vying for his attention became an unwelcome intrusion. Their advances left him feeling an overwhelming sense of distress.
He found himself longing to leave his old reputation behind. He wanted something meaningful, something real, and the only person he could imagine it being with was you.
But right now?
Bucky’s heart sank as he got back to Sam’s car, feeling the strong urge to stay with you and ensure your safety. Sitting in front of the steering wheel and staring at your building, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should be by your side.
You got stuck in your head after examining your bruised wrists and trying to cool down the swelling with an ice pack. Before your panic attack rendered you useless to do anything you managed to call Wanda and she talked you through it. You stayed on the phone with her until you fell asleep.
****
As you woke up, a familiar sense of unease settled over you, accompanied by trembling hands and a racing heart. The thought of facing another day filled with potential triggers made you hesitate. You did want to attend class, unfortunately though the looming threat of another panic attack weighed heavily on your mind. With a sigh, you made the decision to prioritize your well-being and called in sick, sending a text to Wanda to let her know.
As said girl joined you later, bearing notes and takeout, you found solace in her company on your small couch, eating and talking.
“So uhm,” Wanda began, seemingly nonchalant, but you knew her better than that, ears perking up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but after Science class, I met Bucky waiting outside the hall. He was looking for you.”
Your chewing slowed as you processed her words, eyebrows knitting together, looking at her.
“He came up to me, to ask where you were and if you were okay.”
You swallowed, a wave of panic surged within you. “You didn’t tell him-”
“No! No, of course not,” she interjected you hastily, words tumbling over each other in her haste to reassure you. “I just told him you weren’t feeling well and called in sick but I don’t think he really bought that.” Her smile was sympathetic.
Your appetite forgotten you let your fork clatter into the plastic container, your forehead finding its way to the backside of the couch with a groan of frustration.
Wanda’s light chuckle broke through your troubled thoughts. “He also asked me for your number,” she revealed, her tone surprisingly casual given the weight of her words.
“What?” Your head snapped up, eyes widening in disbelief.
“Didn’t give it to him, don’t worry, though I kinda felt bad for the guy. He looked miserable.” Her voice tinged with sympathy.
Taking a deep breath, you attempted to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Gratitude mingled with apprehension as you recalled Bucky’s unexpected kindness during yesterday’s ordeal. You remembered how his proximity seemed to ground you, warmth spreading through your body at the comfort he provided. You could still feel the lingering sensation of his hand on your back, even a day later. And yet, the intensity of those feelings scared you, threatening to unravel the carefully constructed walls you had built around your heart.
“Hey,” Wanda called out softly, her words carrying a gentle insistence. “He genuinely seemed worried. And I’m not trying to get you to befriend him or whatever but…he really is a nice guy, Y/n.”
Your gaze was fixed on Wanda, contemplation furrowing your brow.
“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is with Bucky, but-” she gave you a careful glance, “-if I’m being honest, I don’t think you know it either sweetie.”
Wanda’s words resonated with a truth you had been reluctant to acknowledge. Bucky’s genuine concern had managed to pierce through the barriers you had erected, leaving you grappling with conflicting emotions. Why did you hold onto this grudge so tightly? Was it merely a shield against vulnerability?
As you reflected on Bucky’s actions, a sense of clarity washed over you. There was truly no valid reason to hold onto the grudge you had harbored against him. He truly had consistently shown kindness and concern towards you.
Recalling the instances where he had gone out of his way to make you comfortable, a wave of gratitude washed over you. From saving you a seat in class to rescuing you from a precarious situation with a homeless man to checking in on your well-being through Wanda, Bucky had proven himself to be a decent and caring person.
With a newfound perspective, you realized that perhaps it was time to give him a chance.
****
The bus was late, as usual. Today, though, you couldn’t summon the energy to care. Your mind was still swirling with thoughts, and fatigue weighed heavily on you.
Wanda saved you a seat in class, checking in on you again and although you felt way better than yesterday, you couldn’t concentrate. The voice of your professor was merely a blurred murmur in the back of your mind.
With some time to kill before your next class, you and Wanda decided to grab a coffee. However, you barely made it out of your lecture hall before hearing your name called.
Heaving a sigh, you turned around and came face to face with an approaching Bucky.
He came to a halt, looking a little sheepish now that he was standing in front of you. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, and his hair a little disheveled, he cleared his throat, seemingly unsure of where to begin.
“I’ll head out already, Y/n. Take your time.” Wanda spoke up, giving you a quick hug before passing by Bucky and throwing you a wink over her shoulder.
Bucky cleared his throat again, shuffling on his feet a little before meeting your eyes. “So, uhm, are you okay?”
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, touched by his concern. “I’m fine,” you assured him, fidgeting with your fingers. “Thank you, again!” You added quietly.
He waved away your gratitude with a casual gesture. “No need to thank me doll. I’m glad I could help.”
He smiled softly, biting his lip, though there was a hint of something more in his expression. Sensing he still had something on his mind, trying to figure out how to say it, you remained silent.
“Listen, uh...,” he began, clenching his jaw and avoiding eye contact. “I wanted to apologize for…well for being pushy about the parties and all. Shouldn’t have bothered you like that.”
You blinked, taken aback by his unexpected apology. “Oh, uhm…it’s okay Barnes, really.”
He shook his head, letting out a breath. “Nah, it’s not. This isn’t your scene, should have respected that.” He opened his mouth again but closed it right after, swallowing.
“Don’t worry about it Barnes, it’s alright, seriously.” A tinge of disappointment lingered within you. The realization hit you, that without his invitations to parties, he might not seek you out as often. He only ever did, when asking you to come to his parties. So it would mean he might not annoyingly interrupt you in class, or approach you on campus anymore. You scolded yourself for feeling that way but you somehow didn’t want to lose that.
Needing to take hold of your thoughts, you wanted to get away from here. Your lips curled in a smile. “Alright, uhm, Wanda’s probably waiting for me so-” You were about to turn away but Bucky called your name again.
“Hey, uh-” he seemed nervous, his voice wavering slightly and he cleared his throat, a hand coming up to run through his hair. “You could always come to me - I mean, the frat - when you’re here late. I can always drive you again. Make sure you get home safe.”
He felt bad for bringing up the topic again, but he wanted you to know that he genuinely cared and would feel better if you reached out to him. He would gladly drive you home again, hoping you’d consider taking him up on his offer.
Surprised once more, you blinked at him, processing his offer. You mustered up a smile. “That’s nice, really Barnes, but I think I’ll be okay.”
“Alright, well, just know that I’ll be there if you change your mind,” Bucky replied, his tone sincere, expression soft.
You smiled again, nodded, and bid him goodbye.
Reflecting on the interaction, you couldn’t help but agree with Wanda. Bucky Barnes was a decent guy, held back by his reputation.
****
Sunlight streamed through the windows of the library, casting warm beams that danced upon the wooden tables and bookshelves. It was a stark contrast to the earlier rain, which had cloaked the world outside in a shroud of grey.
The faint whispers of fellow students, the gentle rustle of pages, and the occasional creak of wooden chairs created a soothing ambiance while you browsed through your textbook.
A groan from beside you, however, interrupted that. You lifted your head, diverting your attention to your friend sitting beside you.
“Why is all the information so scattered? Can’t find shit for this stupid paper.” Wanda exclaimed, her brow furrowed in frustration as she stared at her laptop screen.
As you chuckled and leaned in to help Wanda navigate through the vast sea of information on the internet, a sudden gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to instinctively turn your head towards the entrance of the library. In walked Bucky, accompanied by the familiar figure of Sam. You quickly averted your gaze, not wanting to be caught staring.
In the two weeks since your conversation, there had been a palpable change in the air whenever Bucky and you crossed paths. And that was a lot. You haven’t necessarily exchanged words but you grew more enthusiastic when seeing him, sending a smile his way, which he reciprocated immediately.
You were sitting in a café last week, nursing a latte, while having light conversation with Wanda and Pietro, as you recognized Bucky standing at the counter. Without thinking you lifted your hand and waved at him when he looked in your direction. His face lit up, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he smiled and eagerly waved back. He seemed to contemplate walking over to you, your hopes rising for a second, but his name called by the barista snapped his head away from you. After getting his coffee he sent another smile your way but left the café. Wanda and Pietro wasted no time in teasing you mercilessly after he was out of sight. The blush on your cheeks evidence of your embarrassment.
“God, this is getting ridiculous,” Wanda scoffed, amusement lacing her features. You turned to her, a hint of confusion littering your features, oblivious to what she was referring to. She nodded subtly to the side, her attention still fixed on her laptop screen. Following her nod, you spotted Bucky and Sam standing in the near distance, both seemingly focused in your direction.
Sam's face lit up with a mischievous grin and he started walking toward you girls, clapping Bucky on the back. Bucky looked visibly distressed, running a hand through his hair, before following behind.
Sam took a seat in front of Wanda and you, his toothy smile lighting up his face. “Ladies,” he acknowledged playfully.
Wanda laughed, continuing to type on her laptop. “What do you want Wilson?” she asked teasingly.
Sam leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Just wanted to say hi,” he replied casually, shrugging his shoulders.
Meanwhile, Bucky took a seat next to Sam, looking a little awkward. He shuffled a little, leaning his elbows onto the table.
“Well hi, then,” Wanda said, finally looking up.
As Sam and Wanda dove into a discussion about their research papers, exchanging ideas and sharing insights, Bucky and you found yourselves stealing glances at each other.
There was a warmth in Bucky’s eyes, a softness you still were trying to get accustomed to. You felt a flutter of excitement in your chest, you didn’t even try to suppress.
Bucky cleared his throat, looking solely at you. “What’s your paper about?” he asked, his voice gentle yet filled with curiosity.
You smiled, grateful for the new opportunity to engage him in conversation. “I’m researching the impact of technology on interpersonal relationships,” you replied, the initial awkwardness fading away.
Bucky nodded, his interest piqued. With that you delved into a light conversation, discussing your topic in more detail, diving into the various aspects you were exploring and the questions you hoped to answer. Bucky’s gaze never wavered, his attention fully captivated by your words. You noticed that whenever you tried to turn the conversation back to him, Bucky seemed more interested in talking about you.
As the conversation between Bucky and you flowed effortlessly, you found yourselves delving into deeper topics. Bucky’s genuine curiosity about you as a person was evident, and you felt a surge of warmth spreading throughout your body at his interest in getting to know you better. He asked about your hobbies, your favorite books, your dreams for the future - anything and everything he could think of to get to know you better. A spark elicited in Bucky’s eyes at some point, as if he found something in your words that resonated with him on a deeper level.
It felt like you talked to Bucky for hours though it couldn’t have been more than half an hour. The presence of Wanda and Sam had long faded into the background, as Bucky and you connected. To your disappointment, Sam and Bucky had another class and bid you girls goodbye, wishing you good luck with your papers furthermore.
Wanda held her mouth after they left but the knowing smirk in her glance spoke volumes.
****
Weeks passed in a blissful blur. Your encounters with Bucky on campus evolved into something more than just brief exchanges. Conversations became the norm, each one stretching longer than the last, until you found yourself losing track of time altogether, arriving late to class oftentimes. Whenever your schedules allowed it, Wanda and you would meet up with Bucky and Sam to grab some coffee.
The soft smiles filled with adoration that Bucky sent your way didn’t go unnoticed, even when he thought you weren’t looking. You also noticed the little gestures, the quick hugs, he never seemed to pull away from fist, the hover of his hand over your back when walking around campus with you. He pulled you closer to his side a few days ago, his hand gently gripping the sleeve of your jacket as you navigated through the crowded hallway. Your heart skipped a beat at that.
And then there were moments when he seemed on the verge of saying something before parting ways, his lips parting as if he wanted to speak his mind, but then thinking better of it and closing his mouth with a clear of his throat and a hand running through his brown locks. His former cockiness seemed to have given way to a newfound shyness. He was holding back, afraid to cross some invisible line but you didn’t know how to approach him on that.
You also didn’t know if you eventually could cross a line at this moment. Darkness enveloped the campus, casting eerie shadows that danced in the dim light of the flickering lampposts. Wanda and Pietro were out of town and you decided to stay a little longer and finish up your notes. A bad move on your part.
The once bustling grounds now lay deserted, devoid of the usual throngs of students. A sense of unease settled in the pit of your stomach, gnawing at you with every step. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind or the distant hum of a passing car. Every shadow seemed to hold a hidden threat, every rustle of the wind a whisper of danger.
You were thinking about the offer Bucky had made you a few weeks ago to go by his flat and let him drive you home again. You considered going to him but although he had made you that offer you didn’t want to inconvenience him. And just walking to his flat and asking him to drive you home? It seemed weird. But as your anxiety intensified and your hands started to tremble, you found yourself walking towards his flat on autopilot. The memory of your previous panic attack loomed large in your mind, threatening to engulf you once again.
There was a guy standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand. You were approaching cautiously, not sure if this was a good idea.
“Hey, you lost?”
The sound of the stranger’s voice jolted you out of your anxious reverie, pulling you back to the present, momentarily breaking the spell of fear that had gripped you.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you responded. “Uhm, actually I wanted...to Bucky.” Your voice wavered slightly, betraying the uncertainty that still lingered within you.
The stranger raised an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Huh,” he muttered, looking you up and down. “Guy hasn’t had a girl over in weeks.”
You cleared your throat, too caught up in your own anxious thoughts to care about the stranger’s assumptions.
“Well, is he here?”
He nodded, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “Up the stairs, last door to the left,” he replied, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the staircase.
With a weak “thank you” you stepped past him and walked up the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest.
You stood in front of his door, staring at it long enough to notice the cracks in the woods, marring it’s surface, splinters standing out. Your lip was held in a death grip, teeth biting down on it. With a hesitant breath, you finally mustered up the courage to give the door a soft knock, the sound echoing faintly in the empty hallway. As you withdrew your hand you hid the shakiness in the folds of your sleeves.
There was a groan on the other side of the door, as response to your knock. A lump burned in your throat and you played with the thought to just bold out of that house again when you heard the doorknob turning.
“Sam, come on man-” Bucky stopped talking abruptly upon seeing you. His eyes grew wide, eyebrows shooting up, surprise clear as day upon his face.
“Y/n? I-Wow, uh, I didn’t expect you here,” Bucky stammered, shuffling on his feet with his hand running through his disheveled hair in a futile attempt to compose himself. If your mind wouldn’t have been occupied with other things right now you would have found him adorable with his crinkled shirt loosely hugging his frame and hanging over some dark sweatpants, his unruly hair and flushed cheeks. But all you could do was swallow that burning sensation in your throat.
“Uhm,” you choked out, looking at you feet. “I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I just…I didn’t-”
“Hey, hey, doll, it’s alright,” he met you in the hallway, a hand coming up to your upper arm in a sense of urgency. He hooked his finger under your chin to lift your head. You met his eyes, your heart leaving your chest altogether. His face was twisted in worry, brows furrowed deeply, eyes so focused on you, the intensity of it washed over you like a wave. Your breaths still came in too elated, heart beating erratically. “Take some deep breaths for me sweetheart, follow my lead, come on.” He urged you softly.
With Bucky’s guidance, you focused on your breathing, drawing in slow, steady inhalations and exhaling the tension that had taken hold of your body. His thumb continued to trace soothing circles on his skin. As you followed Bucky’s lead, the erratic beat of your heart gradually slowed to a more steady rhythm.
“Atta girl, that’s it!” he whispered, rubbing his other hand up and down your arm. He nodded at you to keep breathing, eyes so intense it was the only thing you could focus on.
Standing directly in front of you and focusing on your eyes, he let your chin up to gently grab your other arm. “You wanna tell me what happened?” His low and gentle tone soothing you.
You took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous out of a sudden to stand here and burden him. “I-My bus didn’t come and-and I don’t know, I got scared I guess and…God I’m sorry Bucky I shouldn’t have come I-”
“Hold on a sec doll,” he interjected, brows pulled together further, concern dripping from his words. “You stayed on campus until now?” A confirming but weak nod of you let Bucky heave a breath. “There’s no need to apologize, sweetheart, I told you you could come, didn’t I? And god help me, I’m glad you did.”
He looked pained to some extent, but mustered up a warm smile. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes still shifting with uncertainty and your hands were still secured in your sleeves, the nagging thought that you were burdening him still lingering at the back of your mind. Your tense posture didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky and he pulled you in his embrace, engulfing you in a warm hug. He never hugged you like that before but with the way his arms around you tightened and he leaned his head against yours, he supposedly wanted to.
As Bucky held you close, his warm breath tickling your ear and sending shivers down your spine, he whispered words of comfort and reassurance that washed over you like a gentle breeze. You couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, all you could do was melt into his embrace and let the soothing cadence of his voice and the tenderness in his touch ease the knots of anxiety that had gripped your chest.
Bucky withdrew slightly to look at you again, his gaze filled with affection and tenderness. “You want me to drive you home, doll?” he whispered, maintaining the close proximity you two harbored.
As you pondered his question, conflicted emotions swirled within you. Initially, you had sought Bucky out precisely for this reason - to ask for a ride home. But now, something had shifted. The idea of being dropped off alone at home felt less appealing. Wanda and Pietro were likely unavailable, and you hesitated to inconvenience anyone else. Yet, the thought of being alone right now was equally unsettling.
Sensing your hesitation, Bucky gently lifted your head again with his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. There was a soft smile you came face to face with. “Sam’s not here for tonight…Do you wanna stay? It’s just us.”
The offer was tempting, but you couldn’t shake the worry of being a bother. “That’s nice Bucky, but I-I don’t want to intrude,” you murmured, matching his quiet tone.
“You’d never intrude, sweetheart! Don’t ever worry about that, alright?” His hand found its way to the small of your back, guiding you into his room.
You settled on his bed as he led you there and couldn’t help but steal a glance around the room. It was surprisingly tidy, save for a small pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Overall, the atmosphere felt organized and put together. Your eyes drifted to his desk - again, neatly arranged - where a framed picture caught your attention. In it was a clearly younger Bucky, with chubby cheeks and a toothy grin. Standing behind him was a man who bore a striking resemblance to him, his father you guessed. A woman was beside him, dark hair in a bun atop her head and a radiant smile, presumably his mother. Cradled in the woman’s arms was a little girl, short brunette hair a little disheveled, and with a pacifier in her mouth but a joyful grin on her face.
A soft smile tugged at your lips as you took in the sight of his family. While Bucky had mentioned having a sister during your conversation in the library a few weeks ago, he had never shown you pictures before.
Bucky entered your field of vision, settling down beside you with a glass of water in hand. He held it out to you and you thanked him gratefully, taking a sip.
You felt Bucky shifting beside you, wiping his hands on his sweatpants, betraying his nervousness. “Do you-” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”
You huffed out a laugh, throwing him a grateful smile. “I’m good, Bucky, thank you!”
A hesitant hand came to rest on your knee. “You let me know if there’s something, alright?”
“Will do, Buck!”
He gave you a look. “I mean it, doll!”
You chuckled, being surprised by how easily Bucky managed to ground you, getting you out of your nervous spiraling. “I know, Barnes.”
Bucky watched you, own lips curled in a soft smile. You returned his gaze, warmth spreading through you at the sparkle in his eyes. His hand remained secure on your knee, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your jeans, a gesture that made you yearn for his touch on your skin instead. The amount of adoration twinkling in his gaze made you weak. Seconds ticked by and you still were looking at each other. There was something in his blue speckles that couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else. A magnetic pull you were drawn to, holding you captive. You noticed his blues flicker down to your lips for a brief moment, and in response, your own eyes permitted themselves to wander to his. The movement of his thumb stilled on your leg, his hand laying flat and you could feel him leaning in.
Bucky often found himself lost in thoughts about kissing you. When the urge washed over him he imagined leaning in and capturing your lips with his own. But he had always held back, hesitant to take that final step without knowing if you wanted it too.
One time, when you two were walking together through campus, the wind was relentless, whipping your hair around your face as you tried in vain to tame it. Despite your efforts though, the wind was hard to go against and after the fifth failed attempt at trying to tame your hair, you started laughing, Bucky joining in. As he watched you, your hair obscuring your view, he couldn’t help the warmth swelling in his heart, the fondness that made his smile ache in his cheeks at the sight of your laughter. He found himself wishing to pull you close, to gently brush the strands of hair away from your face, and to kiss you with all the pent-up longing he felt. In that moment, all he wanted was to express the depth of his feelings for you in a kiss that would leave you breathless.
He often daydreamed about kissing you in the library. Surrounded by the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows, you sat immersed in your studies, your face illuminated by the gentle light. You looked so beautiful, all he could do was admire you. If only you had lifted your head from your notebook, you would have seen the adoring smile that graced his lips. He longed to express his affection for you in the form of a tender kiss, holding you close and sharing a moment of intimacy amidst the quiet serenity of the library. But he couldn’t do that, so he took the chance and admired you from afar.
But the one time he almost really did it was the time you called him ‘Bucky’ for the first time.
You sit in your usual café, nursing a large cup of coffee, the rich aroma wafting up to greet you with each sip. Bucky is seated in front of you, idly fiddling with the sugar packages stored in a box on the table. Your notebook lies open in front of you, pages filled with scribbled notes from your recent class.
After class, Bucky had caught up with you, asking what you were up to. You had mentioned grabbing a coffee and finishing up some notes, and he had decided to tag along. However, as you now sit together in the cozy café, it seems Bucky isn’t entirely pleased with the lack of attention you’re giving him, his relentlessness evident as he fidgets with the sugar packets in front of him.
He grumpily rearranges the sugar packages for the fourth time, his irritation palpable as you remain engrossed in your writing. You hear the crinkle of a sugar packet being opened.
“I don’t need any more sugar in my coffee, Barnes,” you warn him teasingly, without lifting your head from your notebook.
“Everyone needs a little sweetness in their life, doll!” he retorts with a knowing grin, tossing you a wink as you glance back at him. With a mischievous smirk, he lets the sugar cascade into your cup.
“Whatever you say,” you reply with a laugh in your breath, shaking your head in amusement before returning your focus to your notes.
You hear him open another package and let out a sigh. “You better not do that,” you warn again, eyes not lifting.
Another rip of a sugar packet catches your attention, and you perk up to see Bucky holding both open packages over your cup, letting the sugar pour in.
“Bucky!” you exclaim, the volume of your voice drawing glances from other café patrons, but you’re too focused on the playful banter to acknowledge them. “God, I can’t believe you did that,” you groan, pulling your cup closer to your side, in mock exasperation.
As your gaze locks with his, you’re prepared to scold him further but the look on his face catches you off guard. His eyes are wide, mouth agape, morphing into a beaming smile, white teeth on display.
Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “What?”
“Thought I’d never get to hear you say it, doll,” Bucky laughs out, eyes sparking.
“What did I say?” you ask, puzzled by his reaction.
He leans forward, elbows resting on the table while his eyes remain fixed on you. That beaming smile is still plastered on his face, and his blue orbs seem to glow with amusement, sparking brighter than usual.
“You called me Bucky,” he points out, his voice tings with delight.
You took a deep breath in, regretting your slip-up. “Shit, I guess I did.”
Bucky now crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the back of his seat. He doesn’t seem able to stop the smile on his face. “If all it took was to annoy you then Imma keep doing that from now on,” he declared with a playful glint in his eyes.
Head in your hands you let out a groan. Bucky barks out a laugh in front of you and you reluctantly lift your head to look at him. You point a finger at him. “I’ll keep calling you Bucky, if you stop being annoying!” you propose, trying to stay serious but not being able to stop the corners of your mouth from lifting.
“Can’t say no to that,” Bucky conceded, smile growing fond, affection radiating from him in waves.
He never stopped annoying you but you kept calling him Bucky.
But now, as he sat in front of you, his hand resting on your leg, Bucky felt the familiar urge resurface. You were in his room, smiling at him, looking so beautiful, it took his breath away. Yet, despite the overwhelming desire, he knew he would never take that final step without your explicit consent, considering the circumstances you were here right now. Your state earlier left him uneasy and a nagging guilt was gnawing within him, thinking about that night he had driven you home and then left you alone that shaken. So he needed you to want this, to be sure you were okay. He felt sick at the thought of taking advantage of you in any way.
Thus, he did lean in but didn’t go further than a few inches, giving you the opportunity to make the next move or the space to show him you weren’t ready for that.
Your eyes darted to his lips once more, leaning in yourself. Your foreheads touched after some moments, noses brushing and you saw Bucky’s eyes flutter close, still not moving further. You took a few seconds before closing the gap and pressing your lips to his. Bucky let out a breath through his nose, slowly moving his lips in sync with yours. Again, he let you lead the kiss. His other hand made his way up to your face, the gentle touch of his fingertips brushing over your skin before tenderly cradling your cheek.
Eventually, you pulled away, opening your eyes but staying close to his face. Your hazy smile mirrored his, and he pulled your head back slowly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before looking back at you, fondness clear on his features. “Are you okay?” he whispered, his fingers still caressing your cheek as his intense eyes locked on yours.
You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper as you held his gaze. “Yeah.”
After a few tender moments of loving touches and whispered assurances, Bucky handed you a change of clothes and let you use the bathroom.
Emerging from the bathroom, you were now dressed in a pair of his black shorts and a shirt, the fabric enveloping you in Bucky’s comforting scent. It made your stomach do flips, feeling at ease. A soft smile graced your lips as you took in the familiar aroma.
“I got another blanket, in case you got cold…,” he trailed off as he caught sight of you. His eyes swept up and down your figure, admiring how his clothes draped over your form. Though you couldn’t quite read his expression, the slight blush coloring his cheeks was enough to make you smile sheepishly in response. Bucky cleared his throat - he did that a lot around you - and turned away a little, composing himself.
There wasn’t much space in his bed you recognized as you settled in, but somehow you didn’t mind that much. Bucky sat down on the bed, looking troubled.
“Buck? Something wrong?”
Bucky took a breath, shaking his head slightly. “No,” he breathed out, an inner turmoil in his eyes, “I just…I can sleep in Sams’ bed. Maybe tha-”
“Hey,” you interrupted him softly, “I don’t mind Bucky, really! We can share.” He didn’t look convinced so you sat up straighter and heaved a breath, trying again. “And it would make me feel better,” you admitted quietly.
That did him in, breathing out a sigh and settling in beside you. Though he relented, he still was tense beside you, his muscles stiff. His shoulders were touching yours, so he felt you starting to shiver a little. His head snapped to you in an instant.
“Are you cold? Let me get another blan-” Bucky began, already halfway off the bed before you interrupted him once more.
“Hold on! I…uhm,” you hesitated, searching for the right words to express your request, “Could you maybe…cuddle me?” You fiddled with your fingers, a little nervous about how he would react.
To your relief, you heard him shuffle towards you, and soon you felt his arm wrapping around you. You smiled and turned, positioning your back against his chest. His other arm moved hesitantly under your pillow, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. With Bucky’s presence surrounding you, you felt a sense of security wash over you, easing any lingering nerves.
“Like that?” he breathed in your hair, a whisper so full of emotion.
“Yeah,” you breathed back, a sense of gratitude washing over you, “Thank you!” It wasn’t just a thank you for holding you in that moment; it was a thank you for everything he had done for you. It was a thank you for pulling you out of your anxiety - for saving you from a panic attack you surely would have endured if it wasn’t for him. It was a thank you for him offering his comfort and support in so many ways. And it was a thank you for inviting you to his many parties because although you never really went, it was the foundation of your current relationship.
And he knew. He knew the depth of your gratitude, the depth of your feelings. Because he had learned to read and understand you. Because he had learned to love you. And he would tell you when he thought you were ready to hear it. For now, all he could do was hold you close, squeeze you just a little tighter, and silently convey his unwavering support and profound affection.
“Love comes to you just at the right time; the time you never thought it would have”
- Anurag Prakash Ray
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Coach Barnes
Bucky A/U - Retired military turned Baseball coach Bucky...it's a good look on him. 😉
Summary: You're newly divorced with a teenage son who's playing AAA Baseball this season. The team has a new coach who's took notice of you. What could go wrong when your ex and his new assistant come by the games making you feel uncomfortable?
Content warnings: Language, slightly more mature/older reader, mentions of being cheated on, little adult drinking, reader is slightly insecure but strong, slight 'touch her and die vibes', little violence if you squint, fluff.
"Bye mom, I'll see you after practise!" your son Liam called to you.
"Wait, hold up. Do you have your water bottle?"
"Yeah!"
"Full this time?"
Your son huffed out a breath at you like a little annoyed dragon.
"You're hoodie? It's cooler out there."
"Ugh, yes mom!" He grumbled to you.
"I'm just making sure. I don't need another SOS text from you saying you forgot something...again..." You playfully rolled your eyes at your sometimes forgetful son.
"I got everything mom. Dom's mom is here to drive me."
He grabbed his bag and leaned down to kiss your cheek.
"Fine. Have a good practise and remind Dom's mom I'll drive you both to the game next week."
You smiled at your son's back, but he waved to you over his shoulder. He was shoving his bag in the back of the SUV and Dom's mom waved to you from her driver's seat. You locked the door and sighed, rubbing your fingers over your eyes.
"You got this. It's a new year, new you, new everything" you repeated your new mantra to yourself. You wandered over to the kitchen and grabbed a mug to make yourself some tea. When the mug was ready, you took it and sat out in your new front porch, one of the main reasons why you bought the house in the first place.
You are a flight attendant and on one of your jobs, you were the standby crew, but they didn't need you for the final flight, so you left the airport and headed home early, only to find your jackass of a husband in your bed with his perky new assistant.
Needless to say, that ended, you now have a new home for you and your son, and you're starting over again. Not something you pictured happening 15 years ago when you said, 'I do', but life has a way of kicking you in the balls when you least expect it.
The divorce was finalized in the spring, so you bought a new place for yourself and Liam, packed up your things from your old house, got Liam settled in his new room, and said goodbye to your ex with a giant middle finger while the movers sped away and that was that.
Now, in your new place with new neighbours and new everything, you are hoping and praying your son adjusts to the new routine. Thankfully you have full custody, and you don't have to share him with his idiot of a father.
This is his first year of high school and you want to make sure his home life is stable for him since everything he's ever known went up in smoke. Luckily, you were still in the same school district and Liam was still going to be with his friends as he transitions into high school, so you were happy about that. He also made the baseball team, and he was excited, something he had been wanting to do for a long time.
The team got a new coach this year, so you were happy the old crusty one you heard nightmare stories of, retired.
Liam had been playing baseball all his life, ever since he could walk, he was always tossing balls and playing with his foam bats, something his father had taught him. You scowled at the memories of your ex, but your son's baseball skills and love of the game came because of him, so you couldn't be too irritated.
You know Liam had emailed a game schedule to his father, but you had no idea if he would show up to the games, only time will tell. There are a few practises first, then the first real game of the season starting next week. You had put your availability request in at work around your son's games, and since you have a lot of seniority, it was all approved, so you could be home for every one of them in case your idiot ex wasn't.
Liam told you lots that it was ok if you missed his games because of work, but deep down, you knew he would be crushed since he's quite sensitive like you are, so you were grateful work was able to help you and work with your schedule.
⚾
A few hours later, Liam came back thanks to Dom's mom, and he stood in the kitchen guzzling down some water.
"Good practise?" You wandered in to see him.
"It was good. Coach had us doing a bunch of new drills. I really like him," Liam smiled.
"Good, I'm glad."
You took the empty glass from his hands and put it in the dishwasher.
"I have to work early tomorrow, and I'll be home later. Mrs. Robinson next door said she's around if you need her for anything" you reminded Liam.
"Sure" he shrugged.
"Now go for a shower, you stink" you scrunched your nose up and Liam laughed.
He walked by you and rubbed himself against your back before running up the stairs.
"Ugh, gross!" you yelled making him giggle.
You have no idea where Liam got his height from, but the kid was going into grade 10 at just over 6 feet and he was still growing. You cleaned up the kitchen and headed to your room to pack your suitcase.
⚾
"So, you think we got a good team this year?"
Sam asked Bucky as he looked over his roster.
Bucky shrugged while he sifted through the paperwork.
Bucky had volunteered this year to being the baseball coach for the local boy's AAA team. He had just retired from the military and was getting back into things when this opportunity came up. His friend Sam had told him about the opportunity which he thought would also look good on his teaching resume.
Right now, he was a substitute gym teacher for the middle school and high schools and that was keeping him plenty busy. There's talk of him being the full-time gym teacher next year at the high school as Mr. Fury is looking to retire. He's hoping his friend Steve who is the principal at the high school, can put in a good word for the superintendent.
"Got your positions sorted then?" Sam pointed to the roster as he took a sip of his beer.
"Think so. I want to work with this Liam kid a little bit. He's got potential to be a good pitcher if he wants. Strong arm, good control, and decent form. I know he plays third, but I think if he works on his pitches, he could be great" Bucky shrugged.
"Maybe I'll ask his dad or mom if it's ok that I work with him a bit."
"Oh yeah, about that..." Sam cringed a little.
"What?"
"Liam's parents are...divorced. Lives with his mom now."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Word is, it was messy. Something about the dad cheating and her finding him in bed with his assistant. Parents don't get along."
"Obviously, but what a douche."
"Agreed."
"Liam seems fine from everything."
"Well, before you suggest you work with him, see who's at his games. If it's his mom or dad. You don't want to upset him if the dad isn't around, or whatever."
Sam finished his beer.
"Alright, thanks man."
Bucky smiled.
"See you at the next practise." Sam saluted him before he left.
"See ya!"
Bucky waved over his shoulder. He made a mental note to ask Liam's parent about being a pitcher at the next practise.
⚾
"Hurry up pokey bear!" You yelled up the stairs.
"Mom, it's just a practise, and we're early," your son snarked back as he clomped down the stairs.
"I know, but I'm excited to see some of the parents and meet your new coach," you shrugged.
"Ugh." Liam rolled his eyes as he got his bag ready.
"Here's your water, let's go!"
You opened the door and marched him out, shoving him into the car.
"Don't want to be late."
You looked over at your son.
"Please don't embarrass me." Liam grumbled to you making you snicker.
"Honey, I'm just going to watch, meet some parents, your coach, and see how your team is. Friday's game is coming up, so I don't want to look like a lonely dork if I don't know anyone there," you reminded him.
For Liam's past games on his old team, you knew all of the parents, but for this year, you hadn't recognized any of the kids' names on his team since he's playing AAA now which is different than the AA he played the season before, so everyone is new to you.
⚾
You pulled up to the diamond as Liam hopped out, grabbed his bag and scurried off to warm up with his teammates. You wandered to the bleachers and plunked yourself down, looking around for Dom's mom. She was the only one you kind of knew, but you didn't' see her.
What you did see while you scanned the area, almost took your breath away.
Liam's coach stood on the third base line wearing black track pants and a grey hoodie and a team baseball hat. His long brown hair was tucked behind his ears as he surveyed the bench. He held a clip board in his hands and the whistle hanging from his neck moved slightly with the wind.
Holy hell he was a looker.
His piercing blue eyes scanned the bench, then the field as he looked on. There was another man standing next to him who had the same outfit on, but he didn't come close to this one.
"Handsome as hell, right?" A voice snapped you out of your staring.
You looked up to where the voice came from.
"I'm Lily, Dom's mom?"
"Oh, right. Hey" you smiled.
"Y/n, good to finally meet you."
"If I wasn't happily married, I'd climb that man like a tree," she whispered to you making you giggle.
"His name is James, but the kids call him Bucky, or just coach. Here." she flopped a large cooler bag down in front of you and opened it up.
"Seltzers?" you looked at the cans.
"Gotta get through this sports season somehow," she shrugged and poured a drink in a travel mug and handed it to you.
"Looks like sparkling water," she winked at you.
You smiled and sipped it thinking Lily is going to be your new best friend.
Lily talked about the team, pointing out some of the other parents in the crowd, advising who's good and who could care less.
"You might have to sell raffle tickets, or volunteer at the canteen here and there," she pointed to a small building by the diamond.
"The team raises money for a few things, you know, upkeep, uniforms, equipment, that sort of thing. If you ever want to volunteer, let me know and we can do a shift together."
"Sure."
You had a hard time concentrating on her words while you watched Liam's coach take control of the practise.
The boys were doing their thing when you noticed the coach take Liam aside and was talking to him. You kept a close eye on your son's reaction, thinking he was in trouble for something, but he was smiling wide.
Huh. Must be something good.
You saw Liam nod then point to you on the bleachers when his coach turned and looked your way. You gave a lame wave and smile before they both turned back and continued talking. You were blushing like crazy while you watched.
"Need any ice to keep that blush down?" Lily teased.
You shook your head.
"I don't blame you. I'm sure half of the moms here would jump his bones if they could, but everyone here is married" she added then cringed. "Sorry," she frowned to herself.
"No, it's fine, it's ok" you waved her off.
Your heart sank a little at Lily's words. She didn't mean it and you were ok; it just hits you at weird times that you're now alone and single again. You should be married. You should be here with your husband together, watching your son practise but thanks to his actions, that wasn't the case.
Your thoughts started to spiral a little when you heard a whistle being blown signaling the end of practise which snapped your attention back onto the field.
"Dom told me what happened with you and your ex. Want me to pay him a visit? I know people," Lily shrugged making you snort.
"No, that's ok, but thanks for the offer." You had no idea what kind of people Lily knew, but from the look on her face, she really did know people.
The parents waited for their kids as practise came to an end when you saw Liam approach you followed by his coach.
"Mom!" he called.
"Hi" you smiled.
"Mom, this is coach Barnes, coach, this is my mom" Liam said.
"Hello."
"Hi," you nodded.
Liam's coach was even more handsome up close. He watched you intently while your son spoke.
"Mom, Coach wants to work with me on pitching." Liam beamed.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, a few hours tomorrow night, after school."
"I think he's got potential to be a good pitcher. I'd like to work with him if I could?" Liam's coach asked.
His voice was deep and made your insides flutter.
"Oh, well, as long as you're ok with it, Liam," you looked at your son.
"I am," he beamed.
"Ok then," you shrugged.
"Coach said he can meet me at school. A few of the other guys are going to practise their pitches too. I can get a ride after or take the bus."
"Sure thing. I should be home around 10."
Liam's face lit up and for the first time in a long time.
"Ok, go get your things and meet me at the car," you told your son who nodded and ran off to the bench leaving you with his coach.
"Do you think he can pitch?" you asked.
His coach nodded. "I think he can. Got a strong arm and he's eager to learn."
"Ok then, if you think so."
You blushed a little as Liam's coach looked at you.
"Ready mom!" Liam's voice snapped you out of your awkwardness.
"Ok, it was nice meeting you," you gave a little wave to his coach who only nodded as you walked to your car with Liam happily chirping about the practise.
"Pretty, isn't she?" Sam's voice interrupted Bucky's thoughts as he watched you drive away from the diamond.
"Huh?" he looked over at Sam who rolled his eyes.
"Never mind man, come on, help me clean up." Sam playfully swatted Bucky's arm as they retrieved the bases and balls from the field.
Bucky smiled to himself as he packed things up. He was eager to show Liam some pitches, but he was also eager to see you again. He thought you were pretty, but he noticed your tiredness and a little reluctance behind your eyes.
He thought you seemed a little hesitant, but he also noticed the small blush and smile you gave him while he spoke which made him smile to himself. His smile instantly dropped when he thought about your ex and what you went through.
Finding your supposed 'loving' husband with someone else is one thing, but in your own bed in your own house is terrible. He instantly took a dislike to your ex, and he promised himself he would protect you from him if he ever showed up to the games.
⚾
"How was the extra practise tonight?" you asked your son as he finished up some homework.
His eyes lit up.
"It was great. Coach had me pitching and taught me some new grips. I can now throw a curve ball in addition to my fastball. He wants to work with me on a slider, splitter, and change up over the next few weeks" Liam beamed.
"That's great," you smiled back.
Of course, you know baseball. You watch it and your son plays it, but some of the pitches he just rambled on about confuse you. You looked over at Liam who was beaming, so if your son was happy and having fun playing, that's all that matters.
"So, you'll be at my first game?" Liam asked.
You nodded. "Yup, got all your game nights off, so I'll be at every one of them," you reassured him.
He smiled and got up from the couch.
"Going to bed, night mom," Liam announced.
"Night," you managed to snag him for a hug before he went up to bed making him groan but you felt him hug you back.
⚾
You had gotten back in time for your son's first game. Lily picked him up, so you didn't have to rush around too much. There were a few delays from your early morning flight making the next one a little tight, but you managed, getting home just in time to change and head out the door for the first pitch. You arrived at the diamond and found Lily who had an extra folding chair you could use.
"Hey, thanks for this," you flopped down.
"No problem. Liam said you had chairs, but I always carry an extra one in the trunk, so you don't have to schlep yours around," she shrugged and handed you a full travel tumbler.
You exhaled and greatly took the offered adult beverage.
"So, first game of the season."
You sipped the drink and relaxed a little.
"Yeah, should be good. The other team is decent, so it'll be a test for us."
Lily sipped at her drink. She opened the top of her cooler and offered some snacks. You took a few slices of cut up apple and ate it.
"Ooh don't look now, but coach is looking our way," Lily whispered.
You froze, but slowly looked over at the man standing next to third base. You saw the faint lift of his lips rise as he looked you over then went back to the team. Your stomach fluttered as you looked away.
"Ooh, what was that all about?" Lily teased making your face flame up.
"Nothing," you scoffed.
Lily eyed you and smiled wide behind her travel mug, then went back to watching the field.
The game was almost ready to start when you heard Lily next to you.
"Ugh, look at that tool over there," she shuddered.
You followed her direction and looked over her shoulder, then your stomach bottomed out on you. Your ex was here, and he brought his assistant.
"Oh god," you shrunk back in your seat.
Lily looked between you and your ex and figured it out.
"He's your ex?"
You nodded and tried shrinking into the fabric some more.
"What is he even doing here?" she whispered.
"Liam emailed him the game schedule. He can come if he wants, I really don't care, but I didn't think he would bring her," you muttered.
Your heart raced as you snuck a peek over at your ex. He stood by the dugout and talked to Liam. Liam seemed happy but he was eyeing up the assistant a little unsure of her. You were beyond annoyed he brought her to the game.
"She looks young." Lily blurted out.
You rolled your eyes.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Lily hadn't realized she said that.
"It's ok. She is young. I think she's 22 or something. He hired her right out of school."
"You mean right out of the cradle." Lily muttered making you snort.
You scanned the assistant's outfit, and she looked cute. Her bleach blonde hair was perfectly curled, and her makeup was on point as she hung off your ex's arm, shifting on her little black booties. Her skintight black jeans and white crop top fit her like a glove.
"Who wears that to a children's baseball game?" Lily asked.
"No idea, but her feet are going to hurt in those little booties if they stand the entire game," you shrugged.
You looked down at your black leggings and team hoodie, noting the scuffs on the sneakers you had on. You didn't have time to fix your makeup or your hair, so you managed a quick ponytail and lip gloss to hopefully not look like you just flew all day, which you totally did on your little commuter hopper route. You felt frumpy as you compared yourself to your ex's assistant, or girlfriend, or whatever she was. Your ex fist bumped your son and they headed to the bleachers to cheer on the team, sitting off to the side from you and Lily.
The game went well, the team was up by a few runs when Liam was up at bat.
"Nice and easy son," your ex called out.
"You can do it!" his assistant cheered.
You rolled your eyes at the ridiculousness of it all.
"She was cheering for the other team last inning," Lily grumbled.
"She literally has no idea what's going on or who Liam is at all," she spat.
"I know," you muttered as Liam hit a single up the right side, making you cheer loud.
"Yay Liam! Way to go!" You waved wildly from your chair.
You could see him roll his eyes at you, but he smiled wide and gave a little wave back.
Before the game, Liam texted you a 'what not to do' list he made and the number one thing on it was not to embarrass him, so you guess he approved of your cheering. You glanced over your shoulder and noticed your ex was looking over at you.
He acknowledged you with a small nod and went back to the game as his assistant hung all over his arm while she took selfies, and texted god only knows who. She leaned over and kissed his cheek making you want to hurl so you instantly turned back around and took another sip of your travel mug.
The PDA was a little much for a kid's baseball game. It had been months since the divorce and even though you hated his very guts, you were still with the man for almost 17 years. A connection like that doesn't easily fade away no matter how harsh the ending was.
Sure, looking at him now elicits zero response in you other than wanting to stab him in the eyeballs, but a small part of you still cares that he is ok and you kind of hate yourself for that.
Plus, he gave you the best gift in the world, which is your son, so you can't hate on him too much.
Bucky had been on third base, coaching the kids as Sam was on first when he noticed you weren't really cheering loudly anymore. Liam was playing great and had made it to first on a base hit when he noticed you clam up.
He saw you looking over at a man and what seemed like his daughter next to her, but he quickly figured it out the man was Liam's dad, your ex. He had a hard time concentrating on the field when he saw the look on your face change and the fact that your ex wasn't alone, annoyed him. The woman was probably his assistant and not a daughter according to Sam's gossip since she was hanging all over the guy.
Bucky smirked to himself thinking if your ex would rather have that at his side than you, then he really was a complete moron and deserved all the nasty looks and glares he was getting from the other parents.
The game ended with Liam's team winning by a few runs so the boys were happy. Coach Barnes went over some things to improve upon but was happy the kids won and congratulated them on playing well. Liam's coach went over a practise schedule for the pitchers when he saw your ex walk over.
"What's this about Liam pitching?" he asked.
Bucky looked at Liam and smiled.
"He's got a good arm, showed interest in it, so I figured why not teach him." Bucky shrugged and handed Liam a pitching practise schedule he made.
Liam smiled wide and handed you the paper so you could keep it safe.
"I emailed that to him too," Bucky winked at you making you blush.
Your ex cleared his throat.
"Well then. If you think he can pitch, then I approve" he puffed out his chest.
You stood there staring at your ex slightly confused.
What a moron.
Even without his approval, he doesn't have a say since he gave up his custody for his assistant which made you glare at him. His assistant cooed at him and patted his arm and smiled up at him, batting her eyelashes.
"Right, well, good game then Liam. I'll see you next week for practise." Bucky patted Liam on his back before he looked at you and smiled saying "You can call me Bucky," he winked at you then he left to help Sam with the equipment.
You flushed hard then you left to head to your car and wait for Liam to join you.
Your ex let out a grumble then turned and walked away with his assistant trailing behind.
⚾
Over the next few games you attended, your ex was there with his assistant. Many of the other parents connected he was your ex, and with some of the gossip going around, they figured his arm candy was the reason behind your divorce. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. You got used to the sympathetic stares and arm pats some of the other moms gave you, so you just rolled with it. Liam was happy, so that was all that mattered.
It sometimes made you self-conscious when he showed up with her as she would drape herself all over him and the PDA was just gross and inappropriate. He would buy her snacks and make kissy faces at her which would always make you gag to yourself, but the kicker would be when she would talk to you after the games. If your ex was talking with Liam, you stood off to the side, and she would appear next to you.
"Oh my gosh, I love your sweater. My mom has that exact same one" or the ever favourite "What was your name again?"
Ugh, it bothered you, but you politely answered her with one-word statements, or just smiled and walked away avoiding her altogether.
You could tell it bothered the coach since his glares at your ex were getting more and more obvious. Lily insisted Liam's coach was into you, but you would scoff at her and brush her off telling her "No way a man like that would be interested in me. I mean, I'm an old washed-up divorcee and he's...not." Lily would smack your arm and call you a "Hot mama who needs a good and decent man at her side, worshipping the ground you walked on."
She may have also said some other things about Bucky that made you blush and the two of you would giggle and cackle away and the cycle would continue. Lily was good people.
⚾
Bucky noticed over the past few games your ex came by with his assistant and it clearly made you uncomfortable. He couldn't really say anything since it was a public place and he has a right to watch his son play, but Bucky felt that bringing her along was inappropriate, especially since it upset you.
He hated the way you would cave in on yourself, and the light he usually saw from you went out anytime they were around you. He felt helpless and a little tied at wanting to do something. He wanted to punch your ex in the face and tell him he wasn't allowed back, but that would be bad. He wanted you and Liam to like him and by doing that, it wouldn't look good.
Plus, he wanted to keep his reputation pristine since he was in the hunt for a permanent teaching position so punching a dad of one of the kids you coached in the face wouldn't look good on his resume. He told himself he would try and support you and Liam at the games as best he could.
⚾
Lily had asked you to pick up the boys from practise as she was tied up with work. You had just landed and were heading to your car when you told her you were on your way. You got to the diamond and saw a few kids standing around, some were stretching, and others were goofing around as Bucky approached you.
"Hey," he smiled and gave you a little wave.
"Hi" you wandered up to him.
You blushed a little as you felt Bucky's eyes take you in. Again, you had just gotten there from the airport, so you were kind of a mess, but that didn't seem to deter Bucky. In fact, he seemed to be checking out your flight attendant uniform seeing as how you had no time to change. Your ex never paid much attention to your work or uniform before, but having Bucky look you up and down like he wanted you to assist him with his seatbelt, did some things to you.
"Will you be at the game tomorrow night?" Bucky asked.
"Yes, I have all of Liam's game nights off, so I'll be here. How's he doing?" you asked.
Liam was having the time of his life playing and he was making new friends with his teammates.
"He's doing well. His pitches are coming along, and I have him starting tomorrow." Bucky smiled.
You were happy Liam was getting a chance to start. You made a mental note to hype him up and boost his confidence. He's a sensitive kid and although he acts tough, you find he can lack confidence every now and then. Bucky looked around, cleared his throat, then looked at you, taking a step closer to you.
"I-I was wondering. If it's alright with you, but I was wondering if you'd like to get a cup of coffee with me sometime?"
The tips of his ears were turning pink. You were shocked. Your face must have seemed like it was frozen, so Bucky kept talking. "I-I mean, as friends, if you want. I am open. I-I just, well" Bucky rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I know you've been through a lot, but, but I'd like to get to know you" he asked.
You snapped out of it and blushed at his words.
You can't remember the last time you had been on a date or was even asked on one, even when you were married.
"I think I'd like that. But, if we can be friends first, I think that will be ok."
Liam had been through enough and the last thing he needed was for you to shack up with his favourite baseball coach. He was already asking questions about his dad's assistant you had to answer, so throwing you dating Bucky into the mix would be a lot for him to process.
You looked into Bucky's bright blue eyes.
He nodded and said "Of course. I'd like that too" he smiled and looked down at his feet.
"Mom!" Liam waved over to you making Bucky take a small step back as he cleared his throat.
"Well, we should go" you pointed over your shoulder at the parking lot.
"Oh, right, yeah, of course" Bucky stuttered.
"I'll see you at the game tomorrow" Bucky smiled then took a few steps back.
"Of course. See you then" you waved as Liam and Dom approached.
"Hey mom!"
Liam gave you a side hug as he was carrying his equipment bag.
"Got everything?" you asked both boys who nodded like bobbleheads.
"Ok, come on then" you walked to your car as they put their bags in the trunk. You looked over at the field and noticed Bucky was still watching you. You smiled and waved to him, and he waved back.
⚾
You got to the double header game and Lily was there with her travel mug to greet you. It was a Friday night, so you were looking to relax this weekend with Liam.
"He's here" Lily whispered to you.
You looked over and then back down at your lap, fiddling with your mug.
"It's fine, really" you smiled and waved her off.
If your ex wanted to parade around like he was 18 again, that was his issue.
"Hi Liam!" you called out to your son who had walked up to hit a few practise balls.
He looked over and smiled at you, then he spotted his dad, and he gave him a scowl, then he stepped up to the plate.
"I don' think Liam likes his dad here" you whispered to Lily.
"Obviously." She snorted.
"I mean, he sent him the schedule, but I didn't think Liam thought he would bring her to all the games." You slumped down in your seat.
"Wanna know what I think?" Lily whispered.
You looked up at her.
"I think he's doing it to rub it in your face. I mean, they're practically glued together. He keeps looking over here and smirking at you while his assistant falls all over him, it's desperate and weird" Lile scrunched her face up.
"I know, but I just have to ignore it" you grumbled.
"The other parents think he's a moron" Lily added making you smile a little knowing they had your back.
"I just don't want to cause any embarrassment to Liam. He doesn't deserve to be treated unfairly because his father is a douche"
"He won't. The kids don't bother him about it. They think you're cool so that's all that matters" Lily added.
You looked at her funny.
"Your job is to fly in planes all day and hang with pilots and at airports" Lily was hyping you up.
"Yeah, that's not all it's cracked up to be" you shuddered at some of the things you have seen and had to do in your flying career.
"Well, they think you're cool and Liam's a good kid, so that's all that matters" She patted your thigh.
"I know someone else thinks your cool too" Lily pointed to Bucky who was watching you from third base.
You blushed and waved over at him who waved back.
"He's got it baaaaaad" Lily whispered.
"Shut up" you playfully slapped her leg making her giggle.
You felt like you were back in middle school and the cute boy had a crush on you.
⚾
"Way to go Liam" your ex had moved to the fence as his assistant went to the bathroom. Probably to primp her hair for the 100th time you bitterly thought.
Liam grumbled something to him, but you didn't hear. Your ex turned and glared at you. Liam walked up to bat.
"Nice and easy son" your ex told him.
Liam turned and scowled at him. Your ex stomped over to you.
"This is all your fault!" he gritted out.
"What? Why me? I don't know what's going on" which was the truth.
What the hell?
"Liam hates me, he doesn't want me here" he growled to you.
"Well, maybe if you didn't bring HER here, he wouldn't feel uncomfortable" you spat back.
"You have a problem with Ashley?" he smirked at you.
Ugh, this idiot.
"I personally don't care, but maybe Liam feels uncomfortable" you whispered to him.
Parents were starting to listen to you.
"You're just jealous" he spat back.
"Hah, jealous? Of THAT? Yeah, no" you chuckled.
Jealousy was not on your bingo card. Insecure? Sure, but Jealous? She can have him.
"You're just bitter you have no one."
"Can you stop it, people are watching" you whispered back.
The inning ended with Liam grounding out to second base.
"Is there a problem?" Bucky walked up to you.
He had taken himself out of the diamond and was standing by the bleachers.
"Oh look, you got the coach involved. We're fine, go back to your little game" your ex plastered a fake smile on his face.
Just as he finished talking, his assistant walked up and draped herself all over your ex. She batted her fake eyelashes at Bucky and started twisting a piece of her hair around looking him up and down.
"Great, she's sinking her claws into the coach now" you heard Lily grumble next to you.
Bucky glared at her, then at your ex. There was no way on earth he thought she was attractive. He'd rather gouge his eyes out with a rusty spoon than even think about being with her.
"There better not be any problems here" he cautioned.
"Or what?" your ex puffed out his chest.
Bucky ignored him and looked over at you.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
You smiled and nodded.
"Oh great. You're sleeping with the coach now?" Your ex lashed out.
Your face flushed. You were now mortified beyond words.
"That's it!" Bucky pushed past your ex and now stood in front of you, blocking you from him.
"Leave" he demanded.
Sam, the other coach, now stood on the other side of your ex with his hands on his hips.
"I have every right to be here" your ex sputtered.
"You do, but we behave like adults here and that's clearly something you don't know how to do. You're making things uncomfortable for everyone, so if you can leave, we would appreciate it" Bucky glared at him.
Bucky stood a few inches taller than your ex and he was larger too. You learned from Lily he was in the military, and it showed. Under no circumstance would you want to be on his bad side. Your ex looked around, some of the other parents were glaring at him, some were rolling their eyes at him, and some were chuckling, shaking their heads.
"Leave" one of them said.
"And take that side piece too, she's annoying" another said.
You suddenly felt strong with everyone around you backing you up. You glanced at the bench and Liam was watching the scene. You smiled at him, and he smiled back. Bucky folded his arms over his large chest and glowered at your ex.
"Whatever. You're a haggard washed-up flight attendant who let herself go" your ex growled.
Bucky took a step towards your ex who cowered but then you heard "That's enough" as Sam punched him in the face, knocking him back.
You gasped and a few of the other parents cheered. His assistant was at his side and was holding onto his arm. Bucky's face was in shock, but he cleared it and went back to scowling at him.
"Get out of here" Sam grumbled before he turned around and walked back to the bench.
"Let's go guys, we have a game to finish! Nothing to see here." Sam called as the boys sat there with their mouths wide open.
"Now!" Sam clapped his hands as they took the field.
"This isn't over!" your ex shouted.
"Oh, it's over, you lose. She's mine" Bucky whispered in your ex's face.
He grabbed your ex's shirt and held him close to his face.
"And If I find out you've been harassing her, you don't want to know what I'm capable of. I can make your life a living hell. I've seen and done some shit out in the field that you wouldn't even dream of. I can be your worst nightmare, so leave her the fuck alone. She only tolerates your relationship with your son, but after today, you leave her alone and you leave that assistant at home, you got it?"
Your ex nodded with wide eyes. Bucky let go of his shirt and marched your ex off the field to his car as he shoved him in it with his assistant and watched until it drove out of the lot. He walked back and came up to you.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
He kneeled down in front of you.
"I-I'm good actually" you smiled.
You could see Liam watching you both from third base. He was smiling.
"A little shocked Sam punched him, but I'm ok" you chuckled.
Bucky chuckled too and smiled over at Sam who saluted him from the bench.
"He's got my back" Bucky blushed.
"Good."
"So, thanks for being here" you smiled at him.
He smiled back.
"Coffee tomorrow sometime?" you asked.
Bucky's face lit up.
"I'd like that" he smiled.
"You sure you're, ok?" he asked looking you over.
"Yeah, I'm good, thanks. You should get back to the game" you pointed to the dugout.
"Ok."
He smiled, got up from the ground, and walked back to the dugout. You saw him give Sam a bro hug as they sat down and watched the game on the bench.
"That was..."
"Interesting"
"Hot" you and Lily both said at the same time making you giggle.
"Well, you have a date, your ex needs a new change of underwear, the team is winning, and Liam is smiling" she pointed to third.
You looked over and waved to Liam who waved back. He then looked over at the dugout then back to you and gave you a discreet thumbs up and then he turned to cheer on his pitcher.
You smiled to yourself as you saw your son give you approval with his coach, and you couldn't be more thrilled at what that was to come.
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real ty
When I have to do something challenging, I use what I like to call the Watney Method. Step 1: figure out what needs to be done. Step 2: figure out what you need to do to accomplish that. Step 3: do that. If that’s too hard, I use the Grace Method, which is exactly the same as the Watney Method with the small addition of crying throughout the entire process.
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whheheeheheh
Careless Accidents
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you get hurt and jason’s pissed
warnings: reader’s wrist is accidentally sprained from being grabbed to hard
You could hear scuttling from somewhere else in the garden, an estate more than sizable enough than the game afoot.
You were under the distinct impression though that the bats and birds are playing with you similar to how they would a child. Slower, weaker, and less experienced than the big kids. You weren't complaining though. Because, frankly, it was stressful. They tend to operate more like they’re in a warzone than a game, you felt like you were about to be sniped out at any second.
Rightfully so, apparently, seeing how silently Stephanie had crept up on you.
“Hey,” Stephanie hissed, ignoring the way you jumped. “We’re doing alright for ourselves,” she said smugly.
“Yeah,” you’d nodded, like you agreed with her more than you probably did.
“Okay listen, I think the flag—” what flag? “—is by the fountain so, I think because there’s three of us and two of them, we should bait-and-switch.”
“We’re on teams?” you asked, no longer completely sure you know what you’re playing.
“We are now!” she smiled, starting to run. “I’ll bait!”
She stopped briefly in her tracks and turned back to you hissing, “Don’t trust Cass,” before scurrying away.
Rather than sit around and wait there for…something?...to happen, you jumped up darting in the opposite direction with little to no indication whether this is a good move.
What you didn’t see is Cass rapidly approaching from your rear.
What you also didn’t see was Dick crouched down in a row of shrubbery, which gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch your arm up and yank you down with him. You’d mewled a bit as your wrist made contact harshly with the grass, immediately buckling under you.
Cass was keen to your pain immediately, slowing her sprint to a stroll as she observed you.
“Are you okay?” she signs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
The response was instinctual and you didn’t actually have time to register whether or not you were okay by the time you gave it.
You pushed up on your elbows, trying to figure out whether Dick is even on your team, but the way the others approached had you halting consideration. They’re savvy to the situation at a speed in which you can only attribute to their vigilantism, looking at you with concern.
“You good?” Tim asked, approaching languidly.
“That looked like it hurt,” Cass commented, crouching down next to you to see your wrist better.
Dick shook his head, “No, she’s okay.” He turned to you, prodding, “You’re okay.”
“Yeah, I’m, um…” you winced, looking at your wrist. “It hurts a little.”
Cass examined it closely, tilting it gently to the side. “It might be sprained.”
Dick paled.
“No.”
Tim pointed a thumb back towards the manor, “We can get it wrapped upstairs.”
“No.”
You were only then able to clock the barely contained grin on Stephanie’s face, begging to break.
“Ooooh. He’s gonna kill you.”
Cass had then kindly offered to take you inside and wrap it up for you, which you accepted, unexpecting of the plus-one of Dick trailing behind you like a guilty puppy all the while.
“You know I didn’t mean to grab you that hard right? I—”
Cass laughs quietly as she wraps the bandage around your wrist, amused by Dick’s now-third explanation/apology for the incident.
“I know, Dick,” you say, trying to appease him.
“I’m sorry,” he tells you genuinely, but you can tell there’s more there that he isn’t verbalizing.
You nod, “I know, Dick. It’s okay. It was just an accident.”
Cass pins the wrapping in place securely and with a smile, signs to you that she’s all done.
You rotate your arm a bit, testing your movement under the wrap. As Cass leaves with the first aid kit, Dick remains sat at your side, leg thumping up and down.
He takes a deep breath, “What if…what if you avoid him until it heals?”
“Dick.”
He takes your uninjured hand in his with urgency in his eyes,
He looks down at your jointed hands before loosening his already mild grip significantly.
“Are you going to tell him?” he asks, looking like he’s bracing for bad news.
You shake your head sympathetically, “No. I can’t guarantee you that he won’t find out, but I won’t tell him.”
Dick takes a deep breath, looking at the ground with intense focus. “Okay. Okay.” He stands, “I need to go.”
You watch in amused bewilderment as he staggers out the door, looking around frantically.
Within the next few minutes, he creates and enacts his plan A. He walks into the living room, sitting down next to a very disinterested Tim, eyes forward and serious.
“I’ll give you two grand right now if you tell him it was you.”
Tim barks out, “Absolutely not.” He looks at his brother, still laughing. “No fucking way.”
Dick breaks the serious facade immediately, looking at him. “Five.”
A deadpan from Tim.
“You don’t have five thousand dollars.”
Dick throws his head back, back thudding against the couch. “Dude, please! He’ll kill me!”
Tim scoffs, “He’d kill me!”
Dick huffs, “No, it’s different for me! Do you have any idea how many times he told me not to do that?”
“Well then it sounds like you fucked up,” Tim sneers.
“Oh my God.”
He takes off again, combing through different rooms in the house with hope of finding a quick but effective hiding place for, say, the next twenty years?
He bursts through the study, unwittingly interrupting Bruce and Alfred having a discussion over tea.
The latter sits up with a tense brow, “Master Dick?”
The former turns around in his seat, “What’s the matter?”
Dick struggles for a second before confessing, “I accidentally sprained someone's wrist.”
Bruce scans his face slowly, nodding. “Alright…you’ll have to take responsibility for their patrol duties—”
Dick cuts him off with a sharp breath, “Said person doesn’t have any patrol duties to be affected...”
Bruce processes for a moment before shaking his head.
“I can’t help you.”
Dick’s panic takes over again, prompting him to continue his scurry through the room, towards the other door.
Alfred interrupts his process with a very logical argument, “You don’t think running away will make this worse, Master Dick?”
“I—I don’t know!” Dick whines, stopping in his tracks. “I don’t know what to do!”
Bruce purses his lips, gesturing, “Dick, when you make a mistake…you have to submit to the consequences, you know that.”
Dick gapes, “This is not a normal consequence!”
Meanwhile, you’ve busied yourself with fiddling with the knick knacks and mementos lining the shelves of Jason’s childhood bedroom.
You’re admiring a picture of him and Alfred from when he was young as the door creaks open behind you.
“Sweetheart?” Your boyfriend calls out, head barely poked in through the crack.
“Hey, Jay,” you smile, setting the picture frame back on the shelf.
He enters fully, covered in motor oil and grease, and smiles his sweet, easy smile when he sees you.
Moving onto the next trinket on the shelf, you pick up a stuffed animal placed intentionally at the front. Your gaze finds the mirror, watching his reflection as he pulls the stained shirt off his back.
You smile to yourself, noticing the way his back muscles flex as he adjusts. “How’s the bike?”
“Better than it was this morning,” he sighs. “Where’ve you been?”
He turns around to look at you, taking easy steps towards you.
You return the toy elephant to its place, moving to face him. “Uh, we were outside, playing…at least three separate games at once.”
The second you’re in proximity, your hands join like it’s second nature.
He nods, all too familiar with the family’s unique methods of gamefair.
“Did th—” He looks down at your intertwined hands, brow furrowing as soon as he spots the bandage wrapped around your wrist. “What happened?”
You glance down, shrugging. “Overexerted myself playing tag.”
He looks at you skeptically, but says nothing about it.
He turns your hand over gently, asking, “Is it sprained?”
You nod, relaxed. “Yeah. Cass said it’s mild.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“No,” you say, sweeping his hair back with your other hand. “Barely hurt then.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look satisfied with the conversation.
Regardless, he turns away again, shuffling through a drawer for a clean shirt.
“You, uh, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?” he asks, pulling his arms through, his head following.
“Yeah,” you say gaily. “Alfred said he’s making his ‘special spaghetti’, apparently it’s a household favorite?”
He wavers, halfway to between decisions. “Yeah…”
He huffs quietly, turning back to face you fully. “Can I see it?”
You nod, happy to ease his mind.
You start to unwrap the bandaging, him doing half the work for you. The work is done silently until your wrist is exposed, revealing your bruised skin.
You both see it at the same time—the hand-shaped bruise wrapped around your wrist.
You’re both quiet for a second—him putting pieces together and you waiting for the shoe to drop.
He takes off suddenly, clearly having come to a likely very accurate conclusion about what had happened.
“Fucking idiot—”
You try for his hand but he’s out of reach before you can grab it.
“I’ll be right back,” he grumbles behind him.
“Jason—” you sigh, “At least help me wrap it back up first.”
He hesitates, halfway to the door, ultimately returning to you in defeat. He takes your forearm gently, scanning it over again before beginning to wrap it.
You watch his face closely, noting the clear vexation. “It was just an accident,” you tell him.
He scoffs, “It better have been.”
You drop your shoulders and lull your head to the side. “Jason. I’m not made of glass, you can’t expect other people to act like it.”
“I don’t. I expect him to mind his own strength, and if he can’t do that, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself.”
You sigh, “Just don’t do anything harsh. Please. I think he’s worried you’re gonna punch him.”
“He should be,” he says shortly. He finishes off the wrapping, pinning it in place firmly.
You grab onto his forearm before he can pull away, “You’re not going to. Right?”
He doesn’t answer so you try to make his gaze meet yours, “Right?”
His eyes roll, “Yeah, fine.”
You smile, holding his face. “I love you.”
He huffs as though he’s inconvenienced, but confesses the obvious truth nonetheless. “I love you.”
He looks you in the eye, face serious. “You promise me it doesn’t hurt?”
“I promise,” you nod, brushing your fingers against his palm.
“Dick!”
The angry voice bellows through the tall halls of the manor, heavy footsteps thudding.
He stomps into the living room, Tim, Cass, and Stephanie watching the entryway with wide eyes.
“Where is he?”
Unwitting shoulders shrug and heads shake. Truthfully, at that. Dick, smartly, did not tell anyone where he was hiding.
Jason scans the trios faces, looking for any sign of apprehension.
He clocks the grin shamelessly plastered across his sister's face quickly. “Stephanie?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “But let me know when you find him, I wanna see—”
But Jason’s moving onto the next room before she can get the last words out.
He enters the dining room, looking right to left before finding his target, halfway to stuffing himself behind the fine china cabinet in the corner.
There’s a brief, tense moment in between where the pair realize what they’re seeing and when Dick sets off in a sprint towards the kitchen, Jason quick on his tail.
“Really? Really?” Jason shouts.
“It was an accident! It was a fucking—”
He narrowly dodges a swipe from Jason, then ducking before a ladle could make contact with his head.
“Are you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherf—”
Dick rounds the kitchen island as fast as possible, Jason testing him on the other side.
Dick takes a breath, “Dude, it’s fine now, it’s not that big of a—”
Jason recoils, “‘It’s not a big deal’? Come here. Let me sprain your wrist, asshole!”
He circles the counter quicker than the elder boy can think to move away and lunges at him.
Dick throws his hands up in front of him, “Wait, wait, wait! Truce! Truce! Truce?”
Jason drops his shoulders, leveling his older brother with a look. “You can’t call a truce if you’re the only one who did anything wrong.”
“I…” It doesn’t take him long to piece together that his defense makes no sense, so he resorts to his last option.
“Please?” Dick asks, nothing short of imploring.
Jason relents—slightly—upon hearing his brother's tone, but still finds it in him to shove him, though not nearly as hard as he’d been planning to.
“I told you a hundred fucking times not to grab her so hard—”
Dick nods heavily, waving a hand. “I know, I know—”
“Clearly you fucking don’t!” Jason shouts. He huffs, running a hand over his face. “You sprained her wrist. You’ve been doing this vigilante shit for fifteen years, how do you still not fucking know how to control your own strength?”
Dick grimaces, “I do! I do, I just screwed up, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t—” Jason narrowly holds back a scowl, “Did you apologize to her?”
“Yeah, of course I did!”
For a split second, Jason looks ready to keep arguing before purposefully dropping the anger from his body.
The resulting relief almost drowns Dick.
It only lasts a moment though, before Jason looks at him again, sneering, “Idiot,” before pushing him once more.
“Jason.”
Your voice has Jason dropping all turbulence in an instant. He and Dick both whip their heads towards the door, equally unexpecting of the interruption.
You tilt your head at your boyfriend with a knowing but disappointed stare.
He looks back at you like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lips parted.
“I didn’t hit him.”
⭐️ your options are: (1) reblog fics or (2) be a little bitch ⭐️
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imagination and solitude
—————————————————————
When I was eight years old, lost in a cloud of thoughts, I grasped what Death would feel like. My brain gets antsy, always wanting to escape the physical world just to contemplate its intricacies. Having to be in a state of imagination is foreign to me since I’m constantly prying thoughts apart and mashing them into my own boxes of understanding; a version of fun that keeps my skin from crawling, my head from hurting, and my heart from stinging. Referring to my brain as a separate entity has become normal. It drags me along into thoughts that just have to come into fruition; lurking in my subconscious for so long that the click is instantaneous.
Being alone is my favorite way to exist because it allows me to pick at my feelings until they’re bare and hurting, letting me put a salve over them in the form of time. All of these parts of me stay silent - locked inside until I twist the key and tell those I know will understand, even if their view isn’t identical to mine. Loneliness with others is still cold, but my brain gives me reprieve because I’ve let the thoughts exist in their fullness; in words for others to grapple with. To mash into their own boxes.
“Can I play too?” My own curious, annoyingly high pitched voice pipes up as I tap on my older brother's shoulder where he stands with the rest of our cousins. All of them are boys - gross, annoying, and hilariously unfunny. They turn to me, then to each other, and back to me with those mean little faces and snicker.
“No, go away. Go play with the twins!” My brother's nasally voice makes me huff and I, being a pouty eight year old, stomp off to complain to my mom.
She doesn’t spare me a glance, too caught up with the usual gossip about some poor old family friend. While the chorus of ‘Oh Bless Her Heart!’ accompanied by a dismissive ‘go ask your dad’ rises around me, I sulk in an expected dramatic fashion to the porch where my dad awaits my overly sullen self.
I don’t say anything and just tug on his sleeve to let him know I’m there, sitting down on the cold concrete next to his chair. The cold is surprisingly nice since it’s blazing hot out and the soda my grandad gets me from the small cooler definitely doesn’t hurt either.
This is a prime time to get lost in the catacombs of my mind; observing everything around me until something sparks that familiar match: condensation on red solo cups dripping on the cooler and turning the wooden rocking chairs slightly darker, the buzz of mosquitos and the repellent spray that still burns my nose pleasantly, CoCo and Bear lazily padding around in search of pity food, the sound of wind rustling the trees that are slowly turning orange, and the now monotonous hum of my family chattering. Everything blends together, one noise and one sight that my unblinking eyes don’t care to process.
I search through the sights I’ve cataloged in my small life, still butt hurt from the dismissals I’ve received in quick succession. My grandad spits snuff into an empty soda and my skin crawls, nose betraying me by picking out the dirty scent among the hot dogs and citronella candles. My eyes shift from the people to the big tree out front, multi-colored leaves moving in the wind and fascinating my remarkably easily entertained brain. I watch the leaves twist, the branches bend and sway with the occasional lone leaf fall to the growing pile on the ground. Watching this reminds me of my science class, which leads to me hearing Mrs. Birds' voice tell us about why leaves change. As we reach fall the leaves go from green to red, orange, yellow and eventually brown when they die.
All of this happens in maybe five minutes, my mouth slightly ajar as my focus goes straight to picking what I see apart. My knees are up to my chest, skin sticking together from the heat when the flame flickers to life to spark that match. What would Death feel like? How does it work? What will I feel when I die? My answer is one that I force, imagination taking the prompts and churning out potential sensations as if I’m doing an experiment.
Normally I spend my time imagining myself as an adventurer; exploring the Blue Ridge Mountains that are my neighbors or imitating Indiana Jones like every over-imaginative kid does. These ideas don’t come to mind though and I opt to imagine the cold feeling of snow, or how an air mattress feels. My brain presents me with weightlessness, swimming in undisturbed water without an altering temperature. To me, this is the presence of Death when it decides to embrace you into its endlessness. I like swimming, and I don’t mind pretending to be a loose balloon reaching into the atmosphere so these sensations feel like greeting an old friend. The problem doesn’t even come when I attempt to empty my mind out into a circle that is gray and blank, turning orange at the corners from the fire I stoke.
“What if I make up a new game? Maybe that’ll make them let me play.” A voice in the back of my head wiggles in, distracting me from my extremely important and teetering on bizarre thoughts.
“Shut up, they’re boys they never listen.” I think back, pushing the thought away with the other ideas wanting my attention. None of them matter, not when my entire goal in life for the remaining minute of my attention span is to make my brain quiet enough to emulate Death. Thankfully they do, even if only for a second.
That same old monotonous hum of my family is replaced by a high buzz in my ears which I choose to focus on as if Death is space and this is its chosen sound. For that split second of silence my heart trembles, my closed eyes squeeze, my skin is sparked by that same flame, and fear descends upon me until my body falls through a veil and back, all sensations returning to normal. Soon enough I’m running around with my cousins and my brothers, throwing a football and getting whacked in the head like usual. I lose my comprehension and feel life all around me, fulfilling and ever present.
As I get older and regain momentary conscious thought, something I have right now unlike when I was ten, I sit all by myself in my safe haven of a bedroom and think. I’ve lived too many lives that are copies of books and movies, a poor excuse to avoid conversing when I don’t know how. A glance in the mirror reveals layers of myself I can only understand in my perception of others; Emily Dickinson's words ringing like a bell to my soul that strikes a chord forever out of tune to foreign ears. My imagination runs unfiltered and I know if I open my mouth the thoughts will come tumbling out, boxes opened and contents jumbled in a code only I can decipher. I like it this way; my brain is a separate planet I can retreat to and weave my opinions and the stripped forms of unsaid rules and processes into a blanket I wrap around my floating body until it will weigh me down to Earth. I add to this blanket everyday, bursts of realization and understanding that are parented by my own solitude and imagination.
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Dear Supporter,
I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔
I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊
Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑
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alonso said stop the race everyone stop rn
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someone check on his dad
just gonna focus on bearman bc everyone is pissing me off
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I can't do this anymore
just gonna focus on bearman bc everyone is pissing me off
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