#Damien's family

[gothamite-rambler]

That was actually a good deed, Jason.

Jason Todd walked over to Bruce Wayne scrolling through photos on his phone. He tapped the man on the shoulder.

Jason: You want baby pictures of Damian?

Bruce spat out his coffee in shock. Jason chuckled.

Jason: You have to pay me.

Bruce (frantic): You better not be lying to me because if you have baby pictures of him I will pay you whatever price you ask.

Jason: Um okay I have about 10 I can give you now so $10,000 for each one.

Bruce: Stay there, gotta get my phone and I'll transfer the funds to your bank account.

Bruce ran out of the room leaving Jason Todd with Alfred watching the entire interaction, impressed.

Alfred: Jason, how did you get baby pictures?

Jason: Remember, I knew about his existence before Bruce ever did. I visited the kid for the first 9 years before Bruce found out about him. Talia paid me to take photos of him for memories.

Alfred: That's very wholesome of you.

Jason (confused): I said Talia paid me.

Alfred: Money or not, you did a good deed. Now Master Bruce can have a few photos and trust me, he's been begging Talia for baby pictures for years. Be proud of yourself.

Jason smiled.

Jason: I appreciate you saying that.

Alfred: I mean every word of it. You're welcome.

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

it's a meme in Gotham at this point that if you're a dark haired orphan, you're at risk of getting adopted by brucie wayne.

it's also a meme that the man has no idea how many children he actually has. he just looks at a group of dark haired teenagers/ young adults and goes 'ok they must be mine'.

so the batkids film themselves one morning. all sitting calmly at the breakfast table. being normal. except joining them are izzie, donna, kon, anita, jon, maya, maps, and roy in a terrible dark wig.

then bruce stumbles in, in full brucie mode (he's sleep deprived, it's practically the same), muttering good morning to his children. then he freezes, does a sudden frantic back take, and visibly counts how many people are sitting at the table.

the video is uploaded to steph's tiktok account. it gets 10 million views in the first 24 hours.

it also gets memed.

[missingnightwingsmullet]

lowkey gagged him with that

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

dick pretending he doesn’t know stuff just so people can explain it to him because it makes them happy

like for example he lets tim explain coding stuff to him even though he already knows what tim’s talking about. regardless instead of telling him he just lets tim talk and engages with him.

jason wants to talk about guns while cleaning them? we’ll dick is already standing right next to him and asks if he can watch. jason, who is trying to hide his excitement that finally someone in this family is showing interest in his guns rather than ridiculing him, ofc says yes. so dick listens while jason tells him how to clean a gun properly. (dick knows how from his time in spyral, with deathstroke and as a cop)

conclusion dick plays down his knowledge of stuff because he’s 10% human and 90% people pleaser.

[jeena-says-hi]

Imagine the Batfam all goes to see Holy Musical B@man for a fun day out but this part happens:

Then Jason just starts sobbing

[j-liz]

Happy Holidays everyone!

⋆⁺₊❅⋆🎄₊❆⋆₊ ✮🕯･:*:｡❆･:*:･❆🕯✮

Bonus panel available to supporters on my Ko-fi!

[hisuianserperior]

Just read through all of Batman Wayne Family Adventures and I have to say that I consider this to be the most canon batfamily there is and you can fight me. From sibling nonsense to Bruce trying his hardest to be a good dad to emotional moments it's all so good. Also it's hilarious in every way shape and form. Characters you don't see often in the batfamily but deserve more recognition are made so lovable

[unhappy-sometimes]

after peace

i wrote a fanfic!

it’s a sxf au of what would happen if a retired twilight was tasked with protecting a certain troublesome child. it’s got fluff, it’s got angst, and it’s got romance (a lil bit)!!!! >:D

it’s got 22,000 words, 11 chapters, and is completely finished. i hope you enjoy :))))

[amevdw]

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice

-------------------

So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"

(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)

He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.

Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!

(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.

Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )

When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.

So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.

He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.

Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.

Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.

And there's so much work.

Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.

Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.

His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.

Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.

[cailleachcaine]

[star--bird]

Bruce Wayne on dancing with the stars:

- Cass teaches Bruce how to dance outside of his practice sessions with his dancer

- Dick is in charge of his costume design

- The Batkids are the first to post memes from the weekly performance. They will be at the event, watching Bruce's performance, actively taking photos and editing them into memes to post online

- Jason posts from his Redhood account saying that he is voting for Bruce to stay in because "it's good to see some Gotham representation"

- The Batkids also give the funniest interviews to the hosts

- During filming there are at least three instances where something happens and Bruce has to hide the fact that he is Batmam

[todelve-intomy-monthlyfixations]

Sometimes when im having a good day, I suddenly remember how Jason had to crawl back up from his grave and then my day isnt so good anymore.

[ryemiffie]

Quotes from my day as supersons incorrect quotes:

Damian: Hey babe-

Jon, visibly too excited: Babe?!

Damian: ...no, I'm taking it back, you're too eager.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

don’t think about damien thinking about how he is the only bat kid that bruce didn’t choose to keep.

don’t think about damien thinking he needs to prove himself worthy of staying

don’t think about damien worrying about punishment for the little of mistakes

don’t think about damien acting what others would see as irrationally because he is a CHILD who was raised in terrible fucking conditions

[smoshkidtv]

I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING THIS MIGHT BE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SMOSH EDIT

(from sashjins on tiktok!!)