#DO NOT SPEAK TO ME DURING THIS EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE TIME

[three-headed-monster]

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THAT HE DID THIS FOR ME AND ME ALONE

[empty-vessel-of-a-person]

How I Envision "Intimate Time" with the LaDS Boys be like.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Zayne

The Sensual Partner.

I feel like Zayne is a very sensitive and emotionally attached person so being able to connect with him through mind and soul is the best way to get him stimulated.

I never see him as the one who will inflict pain in his partner in any way. He is to gentle for that.

He will always tends to your needs first before his own. We have seen this on Hidden Motive. He did lose control of himself and become "intense" as M/C describe him. But in the end, even if he is clearly still in need, he asks M/C if what he is allowed to do.

He is the type to enjoy the goosebumps forming in your skin whenever he touch or kisses you.

He always listen to you. No plea or request will make it pass his ears and he would always deliver what you ask

He would always whisper his thank you (Zayne's Translation: I Love You) (F.U. Astra!!!!) when you both finish.

Sylus

The Intense Partner

This guy is rough. We all know that. The manhandling and almost stalker-ish behavior he have when it comes to you is all the proof we need.

He also is the type of partner who will make you experience different and new type of high.

He is confident and know what will make your body tremble for him.

He is also type of partner to takes pleasure from your pleasure. Don't get me wrong, all the boys are like this. But unlike Zayne, who takes pleasure from your equal needs for each other, Sylus on the other hand, take it from your pleasure alone. The more happy you are the more satisfied he gets.

He is the type of partner, who will leave marks on you on visible area of your skin.

He is also a type of partner to whisper "lewd" things to your ears and not be ashamed of it.

But no matter how rough he is, he will always cuddle you after you both finish.

Xavier

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

We can all agree that the soft-spoken Xavier is a predator in bed. To say I am shocked on his No Restraint card is an understatement. That sweet thigh-nuzzling to unexpectedly throwing you to bed is shocking yet so hot.

Xavier longs for you and that's why I think he jumps to every opportunity to touch you and go so feral about it.

He is the king of roleplay. I bet with the right coaxing, he will do whatever you want or be whatever you like him to be. We have seen this in several occasion and the most recent is on Mystic Adventures in Misty Invasion Event.

I bet that he is a very passionate lover and will definitely takes his time on getting you prepared and worship your body especially your legs.

Since Xavier doesn't talk much, he most likely show his affection by cuddling and touching. Teasing you with his soft feather like touches that leaves you breathless.

Rafayel

The Pure Partner

He is so pure hearted I could cry. Somebody pointed this out and my big shoutout to you because I can't remember where I read it. We have to remember that Rafayel is a Lemurian. What maybe something that is normal for us in the art of intimacy, may something new for him and this made him unsure or shy about being intimate.

I feel like it will be your duty to give him in the art of intimacy. We know how much he can blush and even that kiss on tub gives me a feeling that he really wants it to happen but is unsure how to do it.

I feel bad for him that we've been so intense with him during the Misty Invasion event. If my understanding is correct, he is quite sad because of his old friend. That guy must be important for him and although we are oblivious of his significance to Rafayel, we should have been more sensitive.

And speaking of sensitive, I feel like Raf is a hyper-sensitive one. Every touch we give, every emotion we pour on him magnifies 10 fold if not a thousands.

He really wants us for him to wait 800 years and during that time, i bet he's not been with anyone and then suddenly we are going feral on him (well who can't be? hehehe)

But imagine this, you taking the lead for him and guiding him to what makes you both reach that pleasure. Slowly slides your hands from his shoulders, torso, and pelvis while whispering to him "you're doing great" and he will moan for you.

Full disclosure: I am a Zayne Girlie but Rafayel's bedroom voice can make me sweat. He knows how to use his voice (A true merman!!!!) to lure you in. (Kudos to his wonderful duber!!!!)

And lastly and the most important thing that I love about Rafayel, is how he is always available and ready for you no matter how unsure he is.

[fleuraimer]

how would carmy react if he ever accidentally hurt his girl…like not in a fun sexy way but in a real way…whether it’s genuinely fucking/spanking her too hard or saying something rather mean during sex

oh god i feel like he'd literally burst a blood vessel 😭

tw!! carm hurts his cub (emotionally). allusions to domestic ab*se (carm is a healing boy, all right?) happy ending.

i can see this happening after carmy loses for the first time. like, it sucks to lose for anyone, but this is carmen we’re talking about—the definition of a loser; a boy small and quiet enough to frighten into a corner, terrorize into a blank mind (poor, bruised boy. built a name for himself out of hollow self-confidence and false healing, a persona that crumbles with one (hundred) too many punches).

he walks through the tunnels with his head hung low, eddie’s hand massaging his right shoulder and benny’s soothing his left; nacho in front, his larger form shielding carm’s blotchy face from the inconsiderate paparazzi. y/n trails timidly beside her bear—hurting and erratic.

the locker room is stock-still silent as they file inside. usually, there's hollering and chanting in celebration as soon as they step through the threshold, and after congratulations and hugs (and kisses from his sweet cub), carm heads for the shower to wash away the grime of his brutal victory.

this time, though, there are no congrats to be given.

everyone seems to be walking on powder eggshells, overly tentative and precautionary as they tend to him. any questions they have for him are low and prudent, and any answers he has to offer them are clipped, and slightly cruel—finds it difficult to show kindness when their own is unwarranted, he lost. he failed (and failing does not call for sympathizing but for reprimanding, punishment; not consolation but condemnation).

"jus' fuck off, dude," carmen huffs, shrugging benny's hand of his shoulder. he sighs, drops his palm from figure and turns on his heal to walk out, anxiously twirling his toothpick along his tongue.

he steps next to y/n, where she waits, pretty in pink, like always, with her hands folded in front of her legs, eyes to the floor. he bumps his boney shoulder to hers, "think he needs you." her eyes flit up to meet his, and he gives her a small smile, and look of encouragement. "go get him, tiger," he whispers gently.

famous last words.

everyone silently gets the message and leaves the locker room to give carmen his space; all except his girl, his sweet cub.

"carmy," she utters softly, stepping toward him.

he throws her a look over his shoulder, "not now, cub, i'm... not now."

she frowns—presses still.

"carm," she tries again, sliding a supple palm up the curve of his back.

he jerks away from her touch, "not fuckin' now, y/n!" he keeps his back to her and starts toward the medical bed, blood dripping from his fingertips.

she bristles, but doesn't let him see it. takes a defesive step back, kicks up her chin, and swallows the lump in her throat (she hated it when he yelled, when he bunched himself up and tucked himself away in that corner of his mind, away from everyone, even her, but his protector. she couldn't help him there, couldn't pry him from the clutches of claws).

"please don't speak to me like that, carmen," she says, soft but firm. "i'm your girlfriend, not on payroll."

he snorts as he rips a white towel off the overhead shelf and starts soaking up the blood from his various wounds. he's rough as he scrapes it up and down his battered body, hurtful. y/n longs to reach out and do it for him—delicate and caring, the way he deserves—but keeps her twitching hands at her sides.

"fuckin' act like it," he mutters under his breath.

her eyebrows rise with indignation, "excuse me?"

"i said y'fuckin' act like you're on my payroll, shit!"

y/n's spent a long time trying to learn how to not be sensitive. she came from a household of men—four brothers, all boxers, thanks to her father—but just because she was constantly surrounded by their brutality doesn't mean she ever fully adapted to it. she inherited their tough skin—took the chipped pieces on the gym floor and melded them to her flesh herself, thicker, harder to pierce—but she couldn't bury her very being, no matter how hard she tried; she would always be a sensitive soul.

she exhales a shaky breath, her fingers curling into her palms, nails digging. he didn't mean it, he was just upset with himself.

"watch your damn tone, carmen."

"or what?" he scoffs, whipping around to face her, tossing the bloodied towel to the side. it's the first good look she's gotten at his face since the start of the fight, and it makes her want to scream.

he's got a swollen, bruised left eye and a crooked nose, a swelling jaw and busted lips; battered and bloodied, from his collarbone, scattered all across his torso.

her throat threatens to close up, and carmy's taking a looming step closer to her too fast for her to combat it.

"what the fuck are you gonna do? fuckin' bitch at me like you always do, huh?" she flinches as he gets in her face, stumbling back. "carmy this and carmy that, but s'never fucking good enough, is it? you just get to sit there and look pretty—live in my house, use my fuckin' money—and god fuckin' forbid i ever ask anything of you!" he throws his arms up, exasperated, huffs out a laugh, though it's certainly humorless. "i'd screw those precious fuckin' feelings a'yours, get y'cryin' like the fuckin' crybaby y'are..."

his voice trails off, the fiery blaze in his eye faltering—like he knows he's fucked up—but his face hardens again before she has the chance to decipher it.

there's part of her that wants to hurt him the way he's just hurt her, put up a fuckin' fight and scream at him the way they're both so used it. another part, though—a much stronger part—is too hurt to hurt him; too sad that her bear would take violence and cruelty over the kindness of others because he'd never been taught how.

she looks at him with a broken furrow between her brow—a bitter smile on her lips. her voice is watery as she starts, "i never asked you for any of that. you offered, and i accepted. and my sincerest fucking apologies for being a human, with emotions." she scoffs, let's out her own humorless laugh. she bites her lips to try and stop the river of tears at bay, looks to the side so he won't notice as a tear slips down her red cheek.

carmen exhales a long breath—he went too far. "cub—"

she lifts a dismissive hand, "no, y'know what? it's fine," she sniffs harshly, rubs underneath her eyes to stop the stray tears from slipping. "i'm— i'm gonna give you some space," she utters, turning to find her purse and coat. carmy watches her gathering her things uselessly, stuck. "seems like y'could use it."

she doesn't look back at him as she rushes to the door, and only stops when she feels a large paw grazing the exposed skin of her back.

"y/n," he whispers, wavering, unsure.

she brushes his hand from her figure.

"i'll be at your house," she mumbles, and slips out of the door.

when it slams shut, carmy can't help the chocked sob that works its way up his sore throat. he stumbles backward, trips over his feet and crumbles to his knees. he curls into himself (like the boy in his mind, tucked safely in the corner), wraps his aching arms around his bent legs a cries like the crybaby he'd just accused his girlfriend of being.

his sweet cub.

god, he fucked up. they fight, so much—too much. he knows her mannerisms, has studied the inclinations of her sadness, frustration, irritation, and anger. he can't ever recall being faced with her disappointment, however, her utter hurt.

he fucked up, bad. but he's gonna fix it (has to, or the boy in the corner will never stop shaking with fear, sobbing, wailing—waiting for his protector to return with his cub).

——

it's late when carmen gets home. their home, not his (couldn't call it his, was never his when she's the one who made his house a home). he walks through the door of their penthouse with his hands full—his duffle bag, a bag of take out (from the three michelin star joint down on 39th), a heart-box of chocolates, and a large bouquet of flowers—and his tail tucked between his wobbly legs.

he places her gifts on the kitchen counter when he walks by in passing, groaning in relief as weight is lifted away from his body (he got beat the shit out of—had to if he fuckin' lost).

he walks into their bedroom as quietly as he can, softly kicking the door shut behind him. in their king-sized bed lay his sweet cub, curled up beneath the blankets—chin tucked and knees pulled to her chest—in a baby pink nightie and matching bonnet. he watches the subtle rise and fall of her back, smile fondly.

he shuffles to the foot of the bed and sets his duffle there, then moves around to her side, kneeling before his sleeping beauty.

"cub," he whispers, feather light as he presses stray baby hairs peaking through the band of her bonnet back underneath. "wake up f'me, baby, 've got some grovelin' t'do."

she groans groggily into the sheets as she starts to come to, stretches out like a cat as her tear-clumped, heavy eyes peel open.

"hey, sweet cub," he murmurs. she eyes him blankly through fluttery lashes.

he deserves that.

"i'm sorry, my girl," he sighs heavily, beginning to pet at her blotchy cheek. "i didn't mean it, fuckin' any of it. you don't bitch at me, y'never ask too much of me," he brings his free hand up to cradle her pretty face as tears begin to well in her eyes. "this is your house, your home. my money is yours, more than it's mine—fuckin' spend it all, cub, i don't care," the both huff out a short laugh, his fond, hers snotty. "y'not a crybaby, you're my baby—my girl, my sweet fuckin' cub, and i'm so goddamn sorry i said those things to you, baby."

she sniffles, curls her fingers around his wrists to keep him close. "y'mean it?"

his lips twitch up in a gentle smile, "i mean it, cub; m'so fuckin' sorry, sweetheart."

"good."

she pulls him in by her grip on his wrists, mouth pressing to his.

safe to say he's forgiven (he carries her out to the kitchen��arms clasped around his neck, legs wrapped around his waist—and presents her gifts to her for good measure, though. sits her in his lap and feeds her yummy pasta and chocolate with a glass of sangria, one of her go-to drinks, to see that giddy smile.

then eats her out of the kitchen counter, too).

——

a/n: how to make the writing process go faster no glue no borax

not edited/proofread!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for entertaining a friendship with a child?

okay so this might be a weird one or even a controversial one i honestly have zero clue how other people will receive this, apologies in advance if i ramble!

to begin, i (23ftm) and this kid (15f) first met about a year ago. one of my best friends (23m) is a pretty big model and tiktoker and she was a fan of his, and she was pretty recognized online for making cool edits and stuff of him and coming to meetups etcetera, so he knew of her from there, and over time with always seeing each other at meet ups and her being in his discord server (where i mod) she kind of became pretty well known to us.

an important thing to note is that she's SUPER neurodivergent and she's had a really tough life. she lost her older brother a few years back and she's (i'm not sure of the correct way to put it, her family is originally from the netherlands and their english is kind of in the works so this is how they put it) developmentally behind a few years - her parents describe this as her being "mentally more 13 than 15" but her behaviour to me is even younger than that. she's very very innocent and trusting, very overemotional and sensitive to criticism etc, loves stuffed animals and pink and cartoons and all of that. she's told me she feels like a little kid sometimes and will talk/act like one so maybe there's an element of trauma-rooted age regression there, i'm not super sure - i'm not gonna get into detail but she's talked to me about her life a lot and she's had some pretty fucked up shit happen to her.

from the beginning she pretty much imprinted on me - she's told me before i remind her of the big brother she lost, and ever since then she's called me her "big brother" and "family" etc. at first i was more just playing along with it to make her happy but over time she really has become something like a little sister to me, i feel super protective of her. i want to become a teacher after college (not to mention eventually a parent with my fiancee) so i think at least part of it is that taking a kid 'under my wing' so to speak is giving me experience with it all. i've always been kinda paternal/protective over kids in general but i was the youngest sibling in my family so i never really had anyone to utilise that on before

she does rely super heavily on me emotionally, especially because after i found out she was being bullied pretty badly at school i started dropping by to keep her company during breaks/lunch and making sure shit was okay (which her still-living brother used to do, but he's a famous?? - unsure How famous, i don't know sports at all - footballer/soccer player who's often in another country and can't see her often anymore), and i've been working with her to curb that. i'm actually currently working with her parents to find her a good therapist and support system. she's no longer in the tiktok friend's discord just because it was getting a little all-consuming for her and we encouraged her to take a break, but she's done a TON of work on herself and maturing since then and she does plan to rejoin at some point soon.

however, i find it really really hard to gauge whether being so close with a child is... like normal? or not. i honestly can't tell if it's kind of the internet caution about adults talking to minors kind of warping my brain and making me overly wary of what people will think or if i'm doing something wrong or if it's genuinely like a weird situation, so i guess i'm looking for outside perspectives.

the things that make me question it is that like i said she's very 'mentally young', she's very sheltered, and there definitely seems to be an element of her kind of replacing the older brother figure she lost with me. on top of that, we met through her being a fan of my friend, and though she's now separate from that i worry there could still be an element of power there because i'm close with the guy she calls her idol. her family knows me and seem totally chill with everything, but they've told me she tells people at her school that i'm literally her brother and basically 100% talks about me as if i'm her biological family, which i find super sweet but at the same time wonder if it's healthy.

she obviously needs therapy and hopefully soon we can get her it, but: AITA for entertaining a sort of found family dynamic / friendship at all with someone very vulnerable and young or is this genuinely helpful for her?

What are these acronyms?

[archangeldyke-all]

Subtop amab sevika please? Making her beg to fuck you and call her a good girl when she makes you cum 🥺

hehehehe gonna combine this with another ask i got too

sevika begs to eat you out ? 😋

i'm gonna continue the amab ceo trend we've got going on, because i've become emotionally attached to her lmaoo. thank u @love-sugarr for the inital prompt that started it all <3

enjoy!

men and minors dni

as much as she likes taking charge, and as good as it she is, sometimes sevika needs to turn her mind off.

she works really fucking hard during the days. you're constantly impressed by her knowledge, her ability to read situations, her quick decision making and her mental math. she's incredible.

and sometimes, she gets burnt out.

sometimes she comes home from work and collapses into a heap on the bed, groaning and wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and turn her brain off.

before you were together, she'd spend these nights drinking and smoking and flipping through shitty tv shows.

but now, she's got a much better way to turn her brain off.

it doesn't happen often, but when it does, you can always tell.

like today.

by lunchtime, sevika's eyes had glazed over with exhaustion..

on the drive home, she was completely silent, not even teasing you when you hit the curb pulling out of the parking lot.

at home, she walked right past her home gym, heading to the bedroom to starfish out on the bed and stare at the ceiling.

and now it's dinner, and sevika hasn't even tried her food.

enough is enough. it's time for you to take care of your girl.

sevika's got her head in her hand, her eyes glazed over and staring off into space. she doesn't even register you getting up from the table.

sevika blinks back to reality when you pull her chair out from the table and sit yourself down in her lap.

"wha?" she asks. you grin.

"hey, baby." you say. sevika blinks and gulps.

"hi." she whispers. you lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead. sevika's eyelashes flutter.

"you okay?" you ask. she hums.

"'m fine." she says. you smirk, reaching up to scratch against her scalp. she sighs.

"you're spacey." you say. "and tired." you add on.

sevika huffs. "i'm okay, really." she says, always hesitant to admit her weaknesses. you glare at her and she sighs, rolling her eyes. "fuckin' hate it when you do that." she says. you laugh.

"do what?" you ask.

"see right through me." she grumbles. you lean forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

"you like it." you say. sevika's lips twitch up at the sides. "plus, you're not hard to read. 's just that everyone else's too scared to call you out on it."

sevika chuckles. "and you're fucking insane and have no sense of self preservation." she says. you laugh.

"or i'm smarter than all those stupid fuckers and i know a catch when i see one." you say, winking. sevika snorts and winds her hands around your waist.

"something like that." she says, nuzzling her head against your chest.

for a few minutes, you just hold her against you, letting her nuzzle against your tits and breathe in your scent. you scratch at her scalp, kissing her hair every other minute.

when the tension in her shoulders disappears, and she's putty in your hands, you know you can start the next phase of your plan.

winding your hand through her hair, you gently tug sevika's head back so you can look in her eyes.

"wanna turn your brain off for a bit?" you ask. sevika blinks up at you.

"it's too early for bed." she says, confused. you laugh and swoop down to kiss her lips, swiping your tongue over her bottom lip before nipping it, pulling away when she gasps.

"i was thinkin' about something else. the bed'll be involved, but we won't be sleeping." you say.

you watch as sevika's mind slowly catches up to you, her eyes growing wide, her lips parting. she gulps, then speaks.

"yes, please." she whispers. you grin, and kiss her again.

dinner grows cold on the table, forgotten as you and sevika make out on your bed.

she's always so sensitive when she's like this. right now, she's shivering beneath you as you suck on her tongue and gently scratch your nails down her sides.

it takes a while for her to melt into her subbier head-space, but you know she's there when she starts whimpering beneath you, unable to take her eyes off you each time you pull away, her hands clawing into your hips and her thighs squeezing together beneath you.

"you okay?" you tease her. she whines.

"i-- i--"

you kiss her nose, and sevika's eyes cross as she tries to keep her gaze focused on you. when you pull away, sevika gulps.

"i'm okay." she whispers, her voice shaky.

you giggle. "you seem a little flustered, babe." you tease her. she blinks, too far gone to defend herself.

"want you." she admits. you smile.

"yeah?"

"so bad." she says, nodding.

"how do you want me?" you ask, starting to grind little circles against her bulge from where you're straddling her lap. she takes a shaky breath.

"however you'll have me." she whispers. you laugh.

"gonna have to be more specific than that, baby. i got about a million things i wanna do to you at any given moment."

sevika doesn't answer, she's too busy squirming beneath you. you laugh and flick her forehead.

"i asked you a question." you say.

"i, uh, what was it?" she asks, a blush blooming on her cheeks. you smile.

"what do you want from me?" you ask. sevika gulps.

"your cunt." she says honestly. you grin.

"i know that, honey, you gotta tell me how you want it." you say as you slowly begin to unbutton her shirt.

she's distracted again, panting like she's run a marathon as she watches your fingers slowly free her chest of her button up. you pull it over her shoulders, then unclasp her bra, freeing her tits. when she still doesn't answer, you flick her nipples. she squeaks and jumps.

"answer my question." you demand. sevika takes a shaky breath and shakes her head to clear it.

"on my mouth." she says. you smile.

"there you go honey, there's my good girl."

the nickname does something to sevika, and suddenly the distracted cloudy look in her eyes vanishes, replaced by pure desperation and lust. you laugh at her.

"gotta tell you though, baby," you continue, "that's a pretty big ask." you tease.

in reality, you're soaked. your clit's throbbing at the prospect of getting sevika's mouth on you, and you'd never deny an opportunity to get head from your girl. sevika knows this, too, or at least, she usually does.

right now, though, she's all subby and sweet and stupid, licking her lips as her big puppy eyes look up at you, waiting for your next command.

"you might have to beg for it." you say.

sevika whimpers, and in her pants, her cock twitches.

you slide off her lap and she pouts at the loss. you take your time laying against the pillows, seductively spreading your still clothed legs, and beckoning sevika forward with a crooked finger.

she scrambles to get between your legs, desperate to be near you again. you laugh and sling your hands over her shoulders, pulling her down for a kiss.

she moans against your mouth, sinking her hips against yours to grind her clothed cock against your cunt. you tug her hair and she whines.

"who said you could do that?" you ask, glaring up at her. she gulps and looks away.

"'m sorry." she whispers. you smirk and press a kiss to her cheek, then shove her away from you.

"get naked." you command. sevika nods and almost falls on her ass with how quickly she scrambles off the bed to pull her pants off. you have to reach out to grab her elbow and steady her as she trips over the legs of her pants, eager to get back to you on the bed.

when she's back between your legs, you can practically see her tail wagging in excitement as she awaits your next command. you smile and lean forward to peck her lips, then pull away to take in her naked form.

her cock's hard and twitching, bumping against her abs each time it pulses. there's a very tempting little bead of pre forming on the tip, and you have to bite your lip to remind yourself that you're the one who's in charge tonight.

"now strip me. but no touching." you say, pointing at her. she nods, then shoots forward to tear at your clothes.

you hear a few seams rip in her hurry, but decide not to chastise her. at this point, you're way too fucking horny to care about your clothes.

in a flash, your naked beneath her, and sevika's licking her lips as her eyes trail up and down your body. you laugh.

"see somethin' you like?" you ask. sevika nods, not taking her eyes off your tits. "wanna touch?" you ask. sevika nods again.

"yes, yes, please." she whispers. you smile.

"where?"

"anywhere." she replies. you laugh.

"gimmie your hands." you demand, reaching out to take her hands into yours. you slowly trail her hands down your sides, until they're on your hips. "keep 'em there." you say. sevika nods so hard a piece of her hair escapes her tiny ponytail, falling into her face. you smile and reach up to tuck it behind her ear.

"there's my baby. my pretty girl." you praise her. you watch in fascination as sevika's hips hump the air and her chest trembles with the shaky breath the words bring out of her. "you like that?" you ask. sevika nods.

"yes." she whispers. her hands are clawing at your hips, her lip between her teeth.

"you still wanna taste me?" you ask.

"yes." sevika says desperately, her eyes snapping back up to yours. you smile.

"beg for it." you say. sevika blinks, then her mouth falls open and the dam breaks.

"please please please lemme taste you. want it so fuckin' bad you look so fuckin' good i need it baby, fuck i need it. please, i promise i'll be good-- i've been good, haven't i?" she asks, her voice wobbly. you smile and cup her cheek.

"you've been so good." you say, nodding. "but i'm gonna need a little more than that."

sevika whines and trembles, and you reach down to play with her tits. "i don't-- what do you-- please!" she whines.

there are tears forming in her eyes, and you decide to take mercy on her.

"go ahead." you say.

sevika doesn't even wait until you finish your sentence to flop down on her stomach between your legs and get her mouth on your cunt.

fuck does she have a good mouth. it's wicked-- she's been touching you for approximately twenty seconds and you're already on the brink of orgasm.

she's messy, especially when she's like this, not caring about the drool leaking from her lips or the cum covering her face, just absolutely devouring your pussy and moaning into it like she's the one getting head.

you tangle your hands in her hair and tug. "slower!" you demand.

sevika whines, but complies, her harsh fast sucks easing, becoming long, languid licks up and down your cunt.

"there you go, baby." you whisper. "good girl."

sevika moans against your cunt, her eyes snapping up to look at your face, begging for more praise. you smile down at her and scratch at her scalp, admiring the way her eyes roll to the back of her head.

"so good sev, so good. 's is all you need, huh? just need some pussy? need me to take charge, let you turn your brain to mush?" you ask. sevika's trying her best to nod against you, her nose bumping your clit with every bob of her head. "you're so perfect. such a hard worker-- fuck like that-- so fuckin' hot in your suits 'n ties... oh god, your mouth, baby. perfect fuckin' mouth."

below you, sevika starts humping against the sheets. you tug her hair harshly.

"cut it out. that cum's mine, you understand?" you ask.

sevika pulls away from your cunt to let out the most delicious, pathetic little whine you've ever heard from her. you grin, then push her face back against your pussy.

"you're so fuckin' cute. 'n you're all mine, aren't you?" you ask. sevika nods again, her nose bumping your clit repeatedly, making you gasp. "fuck, 'm close. 'f you make me cum, i might let you fuck me." you say.

sevika buries her face even further against you at your words, her eyes looking up at you, big and wet and watery, reverent and desperate.

"my perfect girl. my baby. fuckin' love you baby. love you so much. you're mine." you grunt out as your orgasm draws closer. "mine, mine, mine." you continue.

between your legs, sevika's nodding fervently and moaning against your cunt.

she pulls away for just a moment to suck in a gasp and whisper, "yours," before diving back down and sucking your clit into her mouth.

that's all it takes for you, and you cum with a loud gasp. "oh, sevika!" you groan as your orgasm washes over you.

she growls against your cunt, her fingers digging into your hips so hard you're sure she's drawn blood, her hips starting to hump against the bed again.

when you catch your breath and realize what she's doing, you tug her hair harshly and pull her up your body until she's hovering over you.

her face is soaked. there's even some drool or cum in her eyebrows, which makes you chuckle. you reach up to wipe her clean, and she keeps her big, eager eyes on yours the whole time.

"such a good girl." you whisper. sevika lets out a happy little sound and nuzzles against your hand.

"thank you." she says. you smile and pull her down for a kiss, moaning at the taste of your cum on her lips. she hums against you.

between your legs, sevika's cock is poking your thigh, swollen and wet and angry. your stomach clenches.

sevika's seemed to completely forget her own arousal, happy to just cuddle against you, but you haven't. you reach down to grab her ass and laugh at the little squeak it pulls out of her.

"now be a doll and fuck me. 'f you make me cum, i might let you try 'n knock me up. but only if you're good."

sevika's eyes nearly cross in excitement and lust, and she lets out a small whimper as she remembers the lower half of her body.

"really?" she asks, disbelieving, like you've ever denied her an orgasm before. you haven't, you don't have the heart, but it's cute the way she seems to completely forget everything else when she gets like this.

"maybe." you lie.

she nods eagerly and then pries her eyes away from your face to line her cock up with your hole, looking back up at you the second she's got herself situated.

when she pushes in you sigh and sevika whines, collapsing on top of you and burying her face against your shoulder.

"f-fuck!" she whimpers.

you reach up to wrap a hand in her hair, the other wrapping around her back, holding her in a half hug and rubbing in small circles against her as she collects herself on top of you.

"you okay?" you ask, clenching your cunt around her.

"ah!" she squeaks. you laugh evilly.

"i asked you a question." you remind her.

sevika takes a shaky breath. "'m tryin' not to cum." she whispers. you laugh again, wrapping your legs around her hips and squeezing them, pulling her impossibly closer to you.

"now fuck me." you command.

sevika whines against you. "but--"

"fuck. me." you demand.

sevika lets out a shaky whimper against your shoulder as she starts slowly thrusting in and out of your cunt. she starts with shallow little thrusts, teasing you while she tries to collect herself.

eventually, she gets herself under control, and her thrusts get harder, quicker, deeper. you sigh.

"there you go, that's a good girl." you say. sevika grunts against you. "y' always know how to fuck me just right, don't you baby?" you ask. "such a good fuckin' girl for me, so perfect."

sevika sinks her teeth into your shoulder at the praise, trying to keep from cumming at your words. you giggle.

"awe, 're you close?" you tease. sevika whimpers.

"n-no." she lies. you laugh.

"you're a bad liar, babe. can feel your dick throbbin' inside me." you say. sevika whimpers again.

"y' just feel so good." she whines.

"awe, i know. 's like this cunt was made for you, huh?" you ask. sevika whines and nods. "like your cock was made for me." you whisper. sevika nods again. you press a kiss to her hair. "'s all yours, baby. all for you." you say. "and who are you?" you ask.

she pulls away from your neck to stare down at you.

"yours." she whispers. you smile and nod up at her.

"say it again." you say, reaching down to fiddle with your clit.

"yours!" she says, gasping as your cunt starts twitching and clenching around you. "y-yours, momma, all yours. 'm yours." she says.

"oh, baby, i love you." you say.

suddenly, sevika tenses up, her face scrunching and a pathetic little "no!" escaping her lips as she cums inside of you.

you gasp at the sensation, then let out a full belly laugh as sevika buries her head against you, her hips still grinding against you as she fills you with her cum.

"'m sorry." she mumbles. "'m sorry, felt so good, 'm sorry." she says.

you kiss her hair. "keep going." you say.

"wha?" she asks. you tug her hair.

"keep. going." you say. "still gotta make me cum."

"but i--"

"better hurry before you go soft." you say.

sevika's eyes go wide, and she gulps, before she starts fucking you again.

she's whimpering with each thrust, her dick sensitive and overwhelmed, her arms shaky where they hold her up. each time she humps into you, she lets out a sweet little, 'ah!' she's adorable.

you start toying with your clit again, you've been close since she got inside you, but now, with her cum leaking out of you with each thrust and her sweet little over-stimulated whines in your ear, you're on the brink.

"that's it, baby, keep goin'." you encourage her. sevika bites her lip, her brows furrowed as she nods. "you're so perfect. such a good fuckin' girl. so fuckin' cute-- can't even control yourself. cummin' the second you get inside me, you're pathetic. fuck i love you." you ramble as you get closer. above you, sevika's gasping at your words.

"'m sorry." she whimpers, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes from her overstimulated cock.

"don't be sorry. say 'thank you' for letting you fuck me." you demand. sevika nods.

"thank you, thank you, thank you so fuckin' much. feels so good. so warm so wet, fuck, thank you." she grunts.

you cum from her words, your clenching cunt pulling a pathetic, pained wince out of sevika as she collapses on top of you while you fall apart beneath her.

for a few minutes, the two of you just lay together, catching your breath. then, when the stars in your eyes fade and sevika's shuddering breaths even out, you reach down to smack her ass. she jolts against you and giggles.

"you're so perfect." you say. "i love you so fuckin' much, baby."

"lub y' too." sevika mumbles against you, already half asleep. you laugh and push at her shoulders and she groans as she flops onto her back. you crawl on top of her, her cum dripping out of your cunt and onto her abs, and pepper kisses across her face.

sevika giggles like she's high, her whole face scrunched up as you assault her with smooches.

"i love you i love you i love you i love you!" you say between kisses. sevika's giddy beneath you, the cute little gap in her teeth on full display with her grin.

"i love you too." she says. you smile down at her. "thank you." she adds on. your smile turns into a smirk.

"y' don't have to thank me anymore, baby. i should be thanking you." you say. she chuckles.

"i mean thank you for lettin' me turn my brain off. 's nice. you're the only one i can be stupid around, 'n you still take care of me."

you melt, leaning down to press your lips against hers, sighing against her as she wraps her arms around your back.

"i'll always take care of you, y'know?" you ask. sevika nods, sincerely.

"i know."

"i love you." you say. she smiles and reaches up to tug you back down for another kiss.

"i love you too." she mumbles against your lips.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss

[mecachrome]

What is the hype around jendo? I am trying to do research but I feel like they barely had any interactions?? Especially recently? Is there a primer or something cause I totally want to try to get into them!

OMGGGG well i wouldn't call myself a jendo expert or anything but i can briefly tell you why i like them!!! also soz for late reply 😭

tbh the very first thing that converted me was watching this interview forever ago because i remember being deeply intrigued by lando's demeanor + relative shyness + how hard he tried overall to appear Respectable and Mature in front of jense while answering his questions??? like the way jenson smiles at him during "are you happy?" "UMMM... kind of" wtheck T__T

jendo honestly have a lot of lore though! again i am not an expert but @cuthechicane has so many fantastic clips and gifsets if you're looking for interax that will rewire your brain chemistry ☝️ (the sheer giddinesssss of their miami interview 😭 also this is a classic moment). part of their thing is that they're both "somerset boys" (lando grew up in glastonbury / jenson is from frome) so that connection also kind of adds an extra layer to jenson having raced for mclaren / lando looking up to him and the general hero worship or cyclical nature of f1 that is palpable in their dynamic and a lot of other f1 agediff ships. ofc rossi was lando's real hero but... you know jenson is jenson

really though i think what i like most about jendo is how much jenson genuinely ADORES lando lmfao like their dynamic is so ridiculous but in a really absurdly sincere way!!! ofc it's super fun to go all in on the rancid age gap power imbalance vibes etc. and the way they flirt in public and fluster each other but jenson 100% RATES lando and hypes him up constantly to the point that it's almost embarrassing negl. lichr him going all in on lando like 4 hours ago... what's craziest to me is that he sincerely believes everyone else loves lando too like his brain can't comprehend the mere concept of someone not being obsessed with his favorite little british twink 😭 he's those innocent guys on reddit who still post comments like "lando is so nice it's impossible to hate him!!!" as if we're still in 2019 or something...... i want to live in that world

imo there's also an aspect to jendo where it's like...? jenson sees so much of himself in lando to the point of having preconceptions about lando's mentality that he projects onto him a bit which i think adds dimension to jenson's vulnerability but that goes into way more my own Meta and isn't really relevant to this post. but part of jenson's personality is that he is very charismatic and a natural speaker and also Usually Right so he loves to SAY shit and although he's not quite a nico-level professional shit stirrer he does kind of um... always speak like he knows something you don't. as evidenced by his time as lewis's teammate wherein he won the idgaf war by not acknowledging it going on in the first place. this is also why he and oscar should banter more because i feel like the comparisons between oscar and jenson are honestly so apt HLSDFH i have a jenson/oscar/lando post if that is of any interest

ok sorry i'm getting off-track but >>>all of that to me is why jendo is fun... jenson presents as very self-assured but if you do a psyche deep dive you realize he was quite sensitive growing up and Personally Victimized by briatore and has been quite open about his anxiety and the way f1 culture functioned at the time, and he's always been quite emotionally regulated but obviously there was... also a lot of glamour that accompanied that until later in his career LOL. so getting to explore those sides of him with a 20-something lando who very much mirrors him (self-reflective and sometimes overly critical and learning to live the "highly committed and industrious playboy" life) but also makes his façade crack in ways you don't often see is so fun & fascinating...!!! imo you can take them in a lot of different directions as a ship :3c

^ bonus bits i like from his book

[iwanthermidnightz]

Just a few excerpts below, but please read the full article, it’s really good!

In their live shows and on The Record, the group take turns singing lead vocals, meaning they regularly get to stand a couple of feet away from the spotlight – which I sense is a more natural position for each of them. “[Touring is] way more fun together, and easy together,” says Dacus, addressing her bandmates. “It’s cute watching y’all have your little bit during ‘Cool About It’, and when you look at each other in ‘Anti-Curse’, I have no choice but to stan.” As a band, they share the weight of responsibility that they usually have to shoulder alone.

The crowds are so deeply engaged, not just because of the emotionally devastating content of the songs, but because of what Boygenius represents. They are a queer-identifying, all-female rock group in 2023, triumphantly landing themselves in spaces that used to be dominated entirely by straight men, such as their Rolling Stone cover earlier this year, in which they playfully replicated a classic 1994 photoshoot of Nirvana in business suits. And it’s not just that: they are rock stars in a very traditional sense – as their bombastic, thrashy live show, replete with stage diving et al, goes to show – who also sing songs every night about how much they love and appreciate one another. “We talk to each other about our feelings and process emotions as adults,” Baker says. “Instead of screaming at each other and throwing handles of vodka backstage.”

The band’s willingness to step up and wade into political issues has further solidified the bond they’ve formed with their fans. Earlier this summer, they performed in drag in Tennessee to protest against the state’s anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-drag laws. In May last year, when it was leaked that Roe v Wade would be overturned by the US Supreme Court, Bridgers shared on Twitter that she had undergone an abortion the previous year, alongside a link to a donation page. Young, vulnerable people are seeing their favourite rock band stand up for them – it’s powerful, and the love and appreciation the fans feel for that is clear during the live shows. At concerts throughout the year so far, there have been reports of people throwing things at artists – phones, wheels of brie, their dead mother’s ashes – but at Boygenius gigs, fans throw pink carnations, in reference to a line that Dacus sings in “We’re in Love” (“I’ll be the boy with the pink carnation pinned to my lapel”). “We’ve given a lot of who we are as people in our art, through interviews and social media,” Dacus says. “I think that’s maybe the silver lining of the parasocial relationship; they might want to treat us the way they treat their friends, instead of a mysterious, untouchable, unfazeable, unhurtable thing.”

Boygenius know that they’re speaking to – and at times, for – an underrepresented group, and it’s a point of great pride, a driving force in their work. “Being into our band is a dog whistle for the kind of kid that has similar interests,” says Baker.

“Like a sensitive gay baby,” adds Dacus.

“That is what makes [the job] meaningful to me,” says Baker. “To be away from my family when they need me to be there, to be doing things that I find inane or self-serving. I’m like, ‘Dang, look at all those kids’. Like, actually, there’s 25,000 little gay kids out there who’ve heard us talk about things like: be inside of your life. Pay attention to your friends. It’s worth it to live.”

The group have become the role models they wished they had themselves when they were growing up. “I think that if I had more queer and trans idols when I was younger, it would have felt more normal to me to engage with those things,” Dacus says. “And it’s gotten to the point of silliness, all of our stage antics and kissing at most of the shows, but I wish I had seen playful, joyful depictions of queerness.”

[uglylittlebug]

IM INTERESTED ABOUT UR AU !!!MEE MEEEEE!!

Tell me everything! Or wait no, let's start slow.

1) how'd u come up with ur au and 2) how is everyones dynamic with each other and splinter!!

U said splints was an asshole so tell me about :))-🫘

RAAAGGHHH!! Alr, shit under the cut

1) I knew I wanted to make my own tmnt iteration, didn't rlly have any huge thots behind my ambition tho lol. I started designing the turtles and then I kept redesigning until I found something I liked (tbh I might change a few things as I go) then came other characters so that was fun. And then I just wrote a shit ton of notes in a shit ton of Google docs, note pads, and sketchbooks. I don't rlly know man, I'm just coming up with stuff as I go along

2) super excited u asked this bc I actually have stuff written down about it lmao

Bro dynamics:

Raph and leo

-they fight a lot, there is a certain misunderstanding between them. They don't seem to see how similar they really are

-eventually they will see it and their bond will grow

-leo doesn't understand why Raph is the leader yet he is the favorite

-raph gets frustrated with Leo but it's out of care for him and his loved ones

Raph and donnie

-they just get each other idk

-raph sometimes hangs out in dons lab and draws

-they both have issues with anger and lashing out but Raph is better at hiding it

-they constantly tell each other to fuck off, shut up, etc but it's always playful

Raph and mikey

-pretty much just rise raph and Mikey, just make Raph more like idk chill

-they like to cook/bake together

-mikey honestly helped Raph with a lot of things he was dealing with mentally

Leo and Donnie

-its a love hate relationship tbh

-obvi they care about each other but they just have a hard time expressing it

-leo doesn't rlly understand Donnie and why he is the way he is. He feels like he's just putting on a show and being way too sensitive about stuff

-eventually he will understand him more

-they dont always agree with each other

-donnie hates how devoted Leo is to splinter

-im not going to go into detail on this rn but there was a situation during training and it did not go well

Leo and mikey

-they fight the least but when they do its something, two dudes who dont have a hard time expressing their opinion but do have a hard time expressing themselves

-they always apologize after (usually) and will watch tv together or something

-will definitely get into some shit if left unattended

Donnie and mikey

-donnie likes his personal space and Mikey likes donnie's personal space

-donnie often lashes out on Mikey, similar to 2012 Donnie. But he apologizes and explains himself after

-mikey always seems fine but he is sort of scared of Donnie when he does lash out. He's seen what he does to himself (Donnie will bang on tables, stomp on his feet, hit himself, scratch or bite himself etc) and he feels dumb for fearing this but he is worried Donnie might hurt him

-donnie likes to ask Mikey a lot of questions for his inventions and stuff, Mikey likes to offer his input so it's like a fun little thing for them

Bros and splinter:

Raph

-2nd fav child

-splinter made him leader since he is the oldest

-splinter puts a lot of pressure on raph since she's the leader and the oldest

-when the turtles were younger Raph was the one taking care of the others. He hates splinter bc of that

-splinter always told Raph that he must protect the others (referring to Donnie and Mikey) because they are "weak" and "unfocused"

-raph knows that it's fucked up but is obviously still going to protect all of her siblings bc he cares about them

Leo

-fav child

-splinter sees the most potential in him bc he is the most focused, skilled, and obedient

-doesnt understand why splinter didn't make him the leader if it is clear that he is the favorite child

-even though he is the fav, he doesn't like splinter anymore than the others

-he knows splinter hurts them (emotionally and physically) but is too scared to lose his position as the favorite if he speaks up

-he feels that if it weren't for him being the favorite the others would be hurt more

Donnie

-is prob the least fav but it is unclear who is between him and mikey

-is ignored for the good things but if he screws up splinter makes sure he feels like a screw up

-things about Donnie that piss splinter off:

-focuses on tech rather than training

-"talks back"

-stims, physically and sometimes verbally

-sensitive to sound, texture, etc

-is clumsy and "constantly" getting hurt or sick

Mikey

-usually goes under the radar with splinter

-mikey is easily distracted while training so that upsets splinter

-mikey tends to cry when he's angry so splinter never takes him seriously bc he is "showing weakness"

I think that's all I have for now, ty so much for the ask tho!! I had a lot of fun answering it

[lxdymoon0357]

Hello!~ can I request A Rashta X Reader where the reader Is basically the only Noble that actually Treats her like a Human rather than a Slave and Also treats her like a Friend? And how she would react?

Sorry for disturbing You its ok if you don't want to do my request

— you can call me📻😈 anon if you want

(hello there, radio demon anon. I love you and Rashta~ Also Rashta did sleep with Alan, but she didn't get pregnant with Ian nor is she is pregnant with Gloreym)

Rashta, their companion..

☍ Rashta is very grateful for you, not many people like slave and commoners nor are they kind to them, but you saved her from the emperor's trap and even lied to them saying she was your servant and she got kidnapped and upon running fell into the trap.

☍ You often provide her with things she likes, but on one condition from you, which is she has to study and have education, of-course she agreed to your one condition because you provided her with a better life for her, you give her food, give her clothes and protect her.

☍ Since you're an extremely high noble you also bought Rashta from Lotteshu and his family and later on got them punished telling them how they abuse her and since she was now under your family's name, they got arrested as well.

☍ Rashta would often try to skip her lessons, but once you tell her why her education is extremely important, she would understand and try harder in her education and sooner or later she graduated in under five years, getting all her education and even learning etiquette in those years.

☍ Rashta for one is a very smart and imaginative lady, she has quite great ideas, if Rashta was educated well, she knows that she shouldn't depend on her emotions so much as it might get her into trouble and now often relies on logic more as compared to her emotions.

☍ Rashta is also emotionally mature and she knows how to handle her emotions better, though she can be sensitive and emotional at times, but she knows better than to start crying loudly in a huge room filled with people.

☍ She loves to accompany you to banquets, tea-parties and balls as your cousin, sibling or a sister or as your maid, but she's with you all the time during the whole event, most likely as your playmate.

☍ She also developed a hobby of resin art or art in general, but her resin art is absolutely breathe-taking, she takes random plants, flowers, tiny gold flecks of some old statue which is falling apart, or using jewels, glass or whatever she can find in her art and more often then not, she makes portraits, her most known portraits are of you.

☍ Rashta often takes you around commoner markets dressed in modest and casual clothing, which are bustling and lively, and sometimes she sees people behaving badly with slaves working there and it reminds her of her past and it makes her feel anxious, but she isn't scared to stand up for those people.

☍ Growing up, no matter what she did, people only looked at her with disgust and annoyance, so when she sees those people who act nice with her to suck up to you, she isn't afraid to teach them a lesson of disrespecting you or her behind your or her back, with your permission of-course!

☍ She kind of also built up a shop of special designed clothing, more like a wedding dress shop because she loves to design them and wonder what you or her would look like in wedding attire, along with beautiful accessories and shoes as well!!!

☍ You're her favourite person, no matter what you say, she's gonna find you her favourite no matter what!! She loves your kindness, how you don't discriminate between status, age, gender and colour and how you treat everyone, including your servants, which helped in creating you a great and loyal army of trusted friends and servants!

☍ She also brings in cats and animals, she finds on her walks and brings them home, so now you have a separate garden filled with tiny pets belonging to you and Rashta and some even of your servants.

☍ Oh! Speaking of your servants, once Rashta told you how your servants were always worrying about their families because how far they work form their homes and in the next two months, you had all your servants' families move into a new manor which is just behind your manor, so they all could check up on them and so much more and you have hosted so many weddings for your servants as well!!

[thelampisaflashlight]

Sleep

[Drabble number three of three. Featuring a sleepwalking Dew, a lonely Swiss, and a tired Mountain.]

Below the cut.

Sharing a room with someone takes a fair bit of getting used to, especially when that person is Dewdrop.

Not for nothing, but Dewdrop has always been a very, very complex and complicated individual, at least Mountain thought so.

Or he had, at first.

Because, you see, after years of bunking with the temperamental ghoul, Mountain’s understanding of Dew’s personality has become much more clear.

He’s sensitive.

Maybe sensitive isn’t exactly the right word, but calling him emotional feels a bit too dismissive in Mountain’s opinion. After all, there’s nothing wrong with having or expressing one’s emotions, though some could definitely learn to manage them better...

Dewdrop included, though not for the reasons that might spring to mind.

He’s simply too good at hiding things.

So good, in fact, that his body has started to betray him out of pure necessity in order to survive.

That’s why Mountain doesn’t immediately freak out when he sees the ghoul shuffling across the room like a zombie in the middle of the night.

Okay, maybe he panics a little, not fully awake enough to recognize the familiar shadow moving around in the dark, but when he does, all he can do is sigh.

Dew sleepwalks.

Not all the time, but when his body is under a lot of stress, emotionally or even physically, it tends to move on autopilot. Something only a handful of people were intimately aware of, because Dew himself finds his condition... embarrassing.

“Fair enough,” Mountain thinks, having witnessed first hand how out of it and vulnerable he can be during one of his episodes, still though... “but this is ridiculous.”

It was late, or early depending on the sort of person you are, and Dew had managed to slip out the door at some point, somehow managing to avoid waking up Mountain as he did so. It was only because of the draft creeping in from the corridor that Mountain even knew something was amiss.

He hadn’t noticed Dew’s nest was even empty until he threw one of his spare pillows at the mess, telling apparently no one to close the door.

“Shit.”

Thankfully, between scrambling out of bed and tugging on pants, Dew hadn’t managed to wander too far from his room... the only problem was who he had wandered into.

Mountain laughs tiredly, as he watches Swiss try and guide their sleeping packmate back to his room, not having much luck since he clearly hasn’t had to deal with this sort of thing before.

His hands hover close to Dew’s shoulders, but he seems hesitant to touch him for fear of waking him up, so after watching his friend panic a bit longer, Mountain steps in to help.

“Here.” he says softly, approaching cautiously, moving Swiss’ hands so they’re holding Dew in a non-restrictive fashion, “You have to be gentle, or he’ll feel trapped... see? And talk to him.”

“Dew...” Mountain coaxes gently, “Dew, we’re going back to bed now, okay...?”

He doesn’t get much more than some sleepy mumbling in return, but that Dew seems open to the idea, walking along with Swiss as he moves slowly forward.

Speaking of Swiss...

“Why are you awake?” Mountain asks, looking down at the tired multi ghoul, “I thought you went to bed two hours ago...”

“My stomach has been keeping me up...” Swiss hums, furrowing his brow, “I think I’m still a little...”

He waves his hand vaguely, “...Anyway, so does... does Dew do this a lot?”

Mountain rests his hand on Swiss’s back, rubbing soothing circles, “...Sometimes. He usually doesn’t go that far, but that’s part of the reason why we chose rooms downstairs...”

Swiss winces, “Ouggh... yeah that would be bad.” he side-eyes Dew as he begins trying to nestle into his side, “...Is he okay?”

“It’s not my place to talk about it, but he’ll tell you about it if you ask... just be kind.” Mountain says, “Please?”

Swiss nods, heart aching slightly at the sincerity of Mountain’s plea, “I get it. It’s not something we should joke about, yeah?”

Mountain nods, squeezing Swiss’ shoulder reassuringly, “He’ll be alright in the morning.”

“You, though...” he trails off as they reach his and Dew’s door, “...Do you need anything right now?”

“...Can I... Can I stay with you guys tonight?” Mountain can’t help but melt at the tremble in his friend’s voice, “I don’t like... I don’t like being alone when I feel like this... a-and I want to make sure Dew is okay, and-”

“Obviously I’m not gonna let you go back to your room now.” Mountain states matter-of-factly, pulling Swiss along into the bedroom, “...If you ever need me, or us, or anyone... it’s okay to ask.”

“Thanks, Mounty...”

“Can we go to bed now?” Mountain and Swiss still almost immediately as Dew rubs his eyes, “What time is it...? No, actually, I don’t wanna know...”

The ghoul yawns, freeing himself from Swiss’ grip, almost tripping into his nest in the process, “It’s fuckin’... bedtime.”

It’s almost alarming how fast he falls asleep afterwards.

[theharddeck]

Sana!

⭐️⭐️⭐️

I would love absolutely any crumb you wanted to share about Jake and his FWB babe! If there’s a tidbit from start the new year right/kind might, sorta like, love you a little bit/ can’t unfeel that that you’ve been wanting to talk about, I’m here for it! (Or all 3 🤭)

ummmmmmmmm absolUTELY I CAN; under the cut because nsfw (also tw: breeding/pregnancy)

send me a ⭐ for director’s commentary on a fic of mine

alright jumping right into the countdown in kinda might, sorta like, love you a little bit...

“These tits,” Jake leaned forward, his shoulders pressing your thighs flat against the bed and his mouth closing over your breast, messily kissing you, “they’ll be fucking swollen, won’t they, as you get ready to nurse our child.”

I love this here, the use of "our" child. this is where it's so obvious it's not just about the kink, or getting off on the idea of finishing inside, like mans is actively planning a future with reader. he's thinking of the baby, not just the current act; i could faint. like yes, this is tittie appreciation, but jake is such a romantic, despite his best efforts.

“So soft, swollen, and all full of milk,” Jake mumbled, switching to the other breast. “And when you’re aching and sensitive, I’ll be there for you—bet you’ll taste so sweet like that, won’t you, darlin’.” The thought of nursing Jake was stunning, and you moaned when you realized he was sucking at you, nipping and miming milking your breasts.

as someone who is truly, deeply, terrified by what pregnancy does to the body, writing this awoke something in me. I love how gone jake is in the fantasy, and even though it's reader POV, you can tell he's imagining it. he's picturing the changes to her body and LOVING it and i'm obsessed with that. too many guys like the idea of children, but get bored/grossed out/tired of pregnancy, and i know jake is the one who not only is doting on his wife and not letting her lift a finger during her pregnancy, he also finds the changes in her body to be SO hot.

“Three,” you cried. “That’s it, sweetheart, because I do need to feel you, need to fill you, pump till you’re full of me and see me dripping out of my pretty cunt. Christ, you feel so good, you’re so good, how are you—”

i don't think anyone caught it, but earlier in the fic, Jake's giving her a hard time for when she says 'need'...and here he is, just tossing it out. i think he does need her, and in the same way that reader latches onto him calling himself hers (because she already thinks of herself as his), he always notices when she says needs (because he knows he also desperately, intrinsically needs her). i love how he just admits it too, just throwing it out there and practically begging her to hear him affirm her need, her want.

I'm also such a slut for possessive framing of a partner's body parts, like Jake calling reader's cunt his will always destroy me.

“Yeah,” he said, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple, “but then we would’ve never discovered you had a breeding kink.” Your jaw dropped and you pulled back, sputtering. “Excuse me—”  “I know, I know,” Jake shook his head, grinning, incorrigible. “But admit it: you loved it.” You snapped your mouth shut, trapping the response that threatened to bubble out, words you hadn’t dared think, much less speak, before this moment. Jake looked at you, at your pressed-together lips and eyes that always said too much, and his smile softened.  “I know,” he said again, quietly, and he kissed you gently. Jake’s arms were tight around you and you leaned into him, letting it—whose kink it was, what you loved, what he knew—all go, knowing there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

is it obvious that reader almost says "i love you" in response to "you loved it"? that was so clear in my head, and when I read it back i'm like mmmm maybe that's not conveyed. but that's what she's thinking, and that's what he knows and what he's thinking too. gosh i love an emotionally repressed couple

[edenfenixblogs]

Idk if you're still interested in knowing about this stuff, but drawfee tweeted about the pcrf stream today

Yes! I have seen this. I’m really glad they mentioned they won’t tolerate antisemitism.

It seems like they’ll be allowing the spamming of FtRttS, flags, and watermelon emojis. But if they actually manage to encourage the participants to to not just demand a ceasefire but to ask them to call on their representatives to demand a negotiated ceasefire in which both sides actually cease to fire, then I’m happy enough.

I have said repeatedly that I don’t think the folks at Drawfee are bad people. I think that there is some unexamined antisemitism that is not unique to any member of Drawfee and is common in basically anyone who has not actively engaged in antiracist work about antisemitism specifically.

I trust that they want to do good.

I think in general this statement is really good because it addresses a lot of the main concerns that people brought up online about how silence encourages antisemitism.

But I also think that it will leave some Jews feeling alienated for understandable reasons. I’m not going to detail those reasons here in this post or in any post I tag with “Drawfee,” because I’m not in the habit of trying to hurt people who are trying to improve themselves and grow.

As for me personally? Idk. This statement really helped a lot. I love the gang. I have all three of Julia’s drawtectives posters on my wall. I have the Trans Rigs keychain and pride rights shirt. I have the post cards framed in various places around my home. I even have the book!

It actually made me ill to look at them before this statement—not because they owe me anything. I want to emphatically state that none of them owe me anything. But I won’t pretend it didn’t have an affect on me when I saw them engaging with blatant propaganda sources—knowingly or not. Speaking for myself and only myself: I just couldn’t emotionally handle that I had spent so much time supporting creators who might actively hate me. But now I’m back to being happy to see the Drawfee merch around me home. It reminds me of the enjoyment their content brought me.

NGL, though. I’m still pretty wounded by how nasty things got for no reason, so idk if (again, just speaking for myself here and not encouraging anyone to follow my lead in any way) I will be able to engage with the content anymore.

I want to! But I also think they probably do NOT want me to. I’m just one fan and I think my interactions, however well intentioned, caused them stress and anxiety.

I feel wounded that they interpreted my actions in a manipulative way despite my repeated attempts to make clear they were in good faith. They likely feel wounded because I (unintentionally) inspired controversy in response to what they felt was an unambiguously good deed.

Of course, they might not know or care about me specifically at all, which is fine! Who knows‽ Only they can.

Either way, whether they are indifferent to me or angry with me or annoyed at me or whatever, I feel a lot of complex ways about everything that happened during this particularly stressful time.

So, idk. I’d love to enjoy their content again. And depending on how well they curb antisemitism in the stream (which is dependent on whether or not the mods educate themselves enough on what antisemitism even looks like, which seems to be one of the main issues at play in modern discourse), I might feel safe enough to watch their content again.

It’s hard to imagine feeling that same kind of comfort that I used to though, given everything. But that’s ok. That is a personal boundary for me based on my own needs. It’s an unpleasant feeling, but it doesn’t make them bad people or me a bad person. Everyone is gonna have their own boundaries and limitations about topics this sensitive.

Thanks for the message @theres-so-many.

[soullessjack]

Question for you about baby Jack: do you think the same people that flatten Jack tend to also woobify Cas to the point of comical gentleness and stereotypical femininity? I was thinking about the implications for both autistic characters having their violence and harsh parts cut away to make them more palatable/adorable.

YES OH MY FUCKING GOD THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING IT.

It was definitely way worse around like S6-7 with Crazy!Cas than it is now, especially as a product of the show’s airing time and how queer men (ie Dean and Cas) were generally viewed during then; if you’ve been on the 2010’s internet you might remember all those mlm ship dynamics that were really just repackages of traditional marriage and gender roles: Alpha/Beta, Top/Bottom, Dom/Sub, etc.

/ Full disclosure that I was *not in these online circles during the 2010’s and I’m not any sort of gender studies expert, so anyone’s free to correct me if I get stuff wrong lol. /

But from what I’ve seen and what I know, Alphas, Tops, and Doms are typically very stereotypically masculine, carrying all the stereotypical traits like aggression and emotional unavailability, and filling in stereo-traditionally masculine roles like being protectors or providers. Vice versa, Betas/Bottoms/Subs were usually the extremely effeminate other half; they were more emotionally sensitive and weak, needed to be protected, and for the most part portrayed as looking physically androgynous or “soft.” Ergo, you have basically affixed these queer men to acting as The Man and The Woman, even though it’s two men.

Like I said, it’s definitely gone away for the most part, especially with the rise in actual gender studies and how gender expression is viewed, especially for men. I’ll still see it in some Destiel art here and there where Dean is this big gruff strong pants-wearer saving a blushing baby-faced dress-clad Cas, (cough wheeze diminuel but you didn’t hear that from me) but thankfully it isn’t thee most prevalent content made for Cas the way baby!jack is thee most prevalent content made for Jack, and there have been plenty of people over the years to come forward and correctly establish Cas as a way more dominant and capable guy than the ao3 fics would have you believe.

Same goes for Dean! He’s set up to be The Man, he likes violence and steak and guns and sleazy dive bar sex, but he’s a very emotionally sensitive man and has his own dips into femininity (Rhonda Hurley, cooking/baking, being Sam’s ‘mother,’ etc.) I’m actually of the opinion that SPN has some of the queerest masculinity ever , and again I’m not a gender studies student or expert by a long shot, but I do think there’s something to be said about how a show that is sort of built on a reversal and deconstruction of the nuclear family (ie Mary being a hunter and John being a normal man, Dean being Sam’s mother in their childhood) is so constantly regurgitated into those very roles by the fandom:

Sam is the “mom” of Jack’s 3 dads, Cas is the sensitive effeminate bean who needs big strong brawny man Dean to protect him, etc., and with Jack’s confirmation as non-binary so many ppl took to drawing them in mostly feminine fashion (which to me speaks a lot to how queer masculinity is treated but that’s for another post I think).

There’s also a lot to be said about how important mothers and motherhood are to SPN. Mary Winchester, Kelly Kline, Lily Sunder, Rowena Macleod, Jody Mills, Amelia Novak, I’m sure I could go on. Sam and Dean follow in the footsteps of their mother’s family as hunters. Castiel bonds with Jack through Kelly, and Jack takes after Kelly more than he does Lucifer (his grandma even points out that he sort of looks like her). I’m absolutely not saying SPN is this ultra feminist show, but when it tries it tries, and what it lays down is very much worth picking up.

you’ll have to forgive me for centering Jack on a Cas ask but I promise it’s not for nothing. like, the whole “twist” to Jack’s character isn’t just that he’s good or sweet; it’s also that he’s much more like his mother. Not only does he look like her, but he’s also very emotional; he’s sensitive, he’s intuitive, he’s deeply empathetic. and where most teen boys wanna be like their old man, he wants to be more like Kelly; even keeping her name as his own. of course he presents fairly masculinely, as do the other guys (unless we’re counting kitchen aprons as a feminine thing, which I only would with a grain of salt), but so much of his character is faceted in being like Kelly; being like his mother, being like a woman, and within the show’s framework that’s a celebrated thing!

I feel like I’m getting away from the original question so here’s some last thoughts to send out the door with you:

> Sam and Dean’s connection and relationship to Mary is also celebrated within the show, arguably more so than their relationship with John

> the importance of mothers in spn is somewhat highlighted by their absences (Sam and Dean, Claire)

TLDR: supernatural accidentally smashed the nuclear gender family and made their men queer and fandom culture/patriarchal norms doesn’t understand it because masculinity isn’t seen as inherently queer the way femininity/androgyny is

[headpainmigraine]

Migraine isn't a Headache Part Two: it seemed to last for hours, it seemed to last for days

Migraine isn't just a bad headache that makes you puke and have to lie down in the dark for some hours.

They can actually start days in advance, while you don't even realise it, lying in wait like a sleeper agent.

Migraine can have four stages:

-Prodrome (lasts a few hours to days) -Aura (5 to 60 minutes) -Headache (4 to 72 hours) -Postdrome (24 to 48 hours)

I've got a lot to say, so I'll break this into two and look at Prodrome and Aura first.

The American Migraine Foundation gave me those timelines, HOWEVER, like most things with migraines, these can differ from person to person.

I have daily migraines, and I still don't have a good hold on whether:

I'm just not actually getting all four stages,

if I'm getting an elongated Headache stage,

if they're all overlapping,

or if they're just cycling so fast I can't tell the difference.

Chronic daily migraine can be a dick like that, so I'm going to be talking about the 'Typical Migraine Progression' in this post, unless otherwise specified.

Remember, this is just what is TYPICAL for a migraine, and so many migraines can be atypical. Migraine can be so different to each person, its a wonder any two cases are the same.

PRODROME

Like birds ditching before an earthquake happens, your brain actually gives you a warning that the pain is coming (sometimes)

The prodrome can be the hardest phase to spot, but is actually where your migraine starts.

It's also the best time to take preventative meds and/or acute meds, locking the door before the horse bolts, so to speak.

They're more likely to be effective if you catch the migraine early.

Symptoms?

Generally feeling grumpy and irritable or depressed

Yaaaaaawwwwwning

Neck pain and muscle stiffness, feeling 'creaky'

Constant. Peeing.

Inability to settle, restlessness, lack of concentration

more sensitive, to sensory stimuli, but also emotionally

fatigue, but also difficulty sleeping

aphasia/communication difficulties, incl slurred speech, difficulty selecting the right word, stammering

Reporter Serene Branson experienced migraine-caused aphasia on live TV

It can also be an aura symptom.

People also get food cravings in the predrome stage.

***Researchers are now questioning whether 'trigger foods' are truly migraine triggers, or if they're just a correlation between eating a specific food during the prodrome phase before the headache phase hits.***

It's easy to overlook those symptoms, especially if you have other health issues.

I can usually realise I'm going to get a migraine when I start stammering and lose my words, but in hindsight I can see how I was feeling restless and irritable as well.

I've found that I =still= mostly only realise prodrome in hindsight, but it's still worth noting if you can remember having those symptoms even after you've had a migraine.

Taking your meds at the earliest opportunity is most effective for a migraine, and a lot of knowing when to take them, and understanding your migraines at all, is pattern recognition.

Unfortunately, that involves a lot of tracking and recording, but every little helps (with diagnosis too, but more on that another time)

AURA

Common misconception, especially among people who know of migraine but don't GET migraines, is that YOU DON'T NEED TO EXPERIENCE AURA TO BE HAVING MIGRAINES

I think the number is 1 in 4 people with migraines do?

I had aura without headache for about 6 years before I suddenly started getting auras, and even now I only get them sometimes.

They can be scary, even if you know what they are, and terrifying if you don't.

If you haven't taken your migraine meds, especially triptans, before now in the prodrome stage, taking them during an aura is the second best time to take them.

You can experience this stage at the same time as stage three, the headache, so they're less effective than taking them during predrome, but better than leaving it any later!

Typical aura comes on slow in about 5 minutes, lasts an hour, then goes away before the headache.

Of course, nothing is simple in migraine world, so auras can also come on fast and/or happen alongside headache.

The stereotypical migraine aura looks like this:

Grey blobby visual disturbance you can't see through and/or spiky zig-zag lines of colour like an old TV set going wonky.

Visual auras can also present as blurred vision, waves, spots, partial loss of sight, flashes - I've had times where I get tunnel vision, or blinkered vision.

Auras can also come in other flavours - remember that a migraine is a cascade of overactive brain activity, and many parts of the brain can be lit up and sparked off during a migraine.

You can have olfactory hallucinations; some people get a strong smell of flowers, but burning and bad smells are more common. I got burning electronics for a while when I had them.

You can become more sensitive to sound, hear a ringing noise, lose hearing, or struggle with listening.

You can have full blown auditory hallucinations too - I had a line of Portishead repeating in my head, and you can't drown those suckers out with external stimuli, because again, it's being produced internally.

Sight, smell, sound, aphasia affecting your speech, the fun doesn't stop there.

What else does your brain do? What else can a neurological storm rile up?

Allodynia is common during aura and headache phase, although not a phase in and of itself, and can also be it's own thing.

In basic terms, your nerves start sending pain signals to your brain in response to non-painful stimuli, eg, brushing your hair, or washing your face, etc, experiences that wouldn't normally be expected to cause pain.

You can get burning, pain, tingling, numbness, in the extremities, but also numbness.

I don't see dizziness or vertigo mentioned a lot in these conversations, but that can also happen during an aura phase too.

Vestibular migraine is a type of migraine on it's own - more on that another time.

The brain is both incredibly intricate and incredibly stupid.

I think about it like my migraine peeling back the coating on my nerves and leaving me more raw to everything. Everything feels MORE and the MORE is often uncomfortable.

NB: IF YOU EXPERIENCE AURA FOR THE FIRST TIME/A NEW SYMPTOM OF AURA THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE, YOU SHOULD SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION TO RULE OUT SOMETHING MORE SINISTER (transient ischemic attack, which is a type of stroke, among other things)

Prodrome and aura are the best times to get ready for the migraine.

-go home from work and/or retreat to somewhere quiet and dark* -Taking your acute meds -Drinking water -Eat something (I usually do something salty and something sweet. Hot chocolate helps for some reason) -Applying ice packs/heating pads -Retreating to a cool, dark room -Trying to get a nap in before the main man arrives

Whatever you do to get comfortable during the headache, it's worth preparing and starting now.

*I worked with migraines for some years before they eventually fired me because of them. They were as accomodating as they could be, offering a meeting room where I could lie down if I had to, among other things, but a) that wasn't practical for me and b) that's far, far more than I expected. A lot of employers don't understand what a migraine is, and certainly won't give you the time to lie down somewhere, if there is anywhere TO lie down. Working with Migraine is a whole other topic, and I'm not going to get into it here.

================================================

I don't really want to talk about meds yet, but I don't think it'd be fair to talk about taking your acute meds early without noting the fact that the number of migraines you experience in a month can outnumber the amount of tablets they give you. (This is assuming you can even access acute meds)

I get 6 triptan tablets a month, and have migraines daily.

Likewise, you can't take OTC painkillers for migraine every time you have a migraine if you're having them chronically. I'm not talking about debateable things like damage to your liver, or addiction, or 'psychological weakness' or anything else, this is purely the fact that taking too many OTC painkillers as a migraineur can cause medication overuse headaches AKA rebound headaches.

It's a beautiful little piece of evil truth, because this apparently only occurs in people who already have headache-type illnesses.

I know.

And then you're argument is, "I have a migraine every day anyway, why does it matter if I get another type of headache every day?"

I can say, just from my experience, that rebound headaches are nasty, acid feeling things, and there is a noticable difference between those and migraine headache. Also that they hurt more than they help in the long run, and if you're migraines aren't daily, they are now.

The only way to avoid this is to keep your painkiller use to a minimum, that is:

paracetamol and NSAIDS (ibuprofen, aspirin, etc) less than 15 days a month

triptans, ergotamine, opioids, combo painkillers less than 10 days a month

And you're still expected to keep under these levels too.

The only way to stop having rebound headaches if you're already in a routine of taking them every day for your daily migraines is to… stop taking them. Cold turkey.

If that sounds cruel and difficult and painful, that's because it is.

It absolutely sucks.

Not only does the pain get worse (!!!) before it tapers away, but you're also leaving yourself unmedicated for your migraines.

The golden lining is that you really can tell when the rebound headaches stop, and when you DO take acute meds, they do seem to work a little better.

So what? What am I supposed to do, being in constant pain and not able to take painkillers?

That's where the headache specialists/neurologists are supposed to come in with preventative meds. The idea is to reduce the number of headache days so that you don't HAVE to medicate with OTC drugs.

In real terms, that puts you in a situation where, sometimes, you won't be able to take painkillers, your preventative meds won't be the ones that work for you, and you'll have to suffer through the migraine.

Non-medicinal techniques can help during those stages, but in all honesty, it's just something difficult that you have to go through.

That or take more acute meds and fall back into rebound headaches - which is understandable!

Everyone with chronic migraine knows the feeling of being exhausted and wrung out, at the limit of your cold compress/heating pad/aromatherapy/earplugs/lying down/non-medical assisstance and just needing to take the painkiller to just escape the pain, just for a little, maybe it'll help.

Sometimes that'll happen.

We're in constant pain, and when you have to wait for preventative meds to start working, when you're in agony, it's only natural that you'll reach for the bottle of ibuprofen, even if you know it's not going to help in the long run.

All we can do is give ourselves a break, inform ourselves, try to balance help and harm as best we can and hope that the next treatment works a little better than the last.

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

Okay, so I know your brain is with BG3 right now, but my curiosity is aligning with Neva and Barnabas at the moment, so if I may ask about them with - General: #11 - Love: #2 & 15 - Domestic Life #10? Luv you, bud! <3 -Crowie

HELLO DAHLING!

thanks for stopping by and bringing some questions! AND OMG MY NEVA. While it is indeed true that I am very much focused on BG3, I am ALWAYS happy to talk about my darling Neva and her king Barnabas <3

SO LET'S GO!

GENERAL LIFE

11)Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear in public?

BARNABAS. HAND'S DOWN. The man knows he can get away with ANYTHING because, you know, he is the King and can do what he wants. BUT. BUT. It's not just that. He THRIVES in whispering the most lust-laced words in Neva's ear because HE KNOWS she will have a hard time painting her sang froid and he lives to see her blush and be the reason for that blush that he so rarely see outside of his own bedchamber.

LOVE

2)What are their primary love languages?

I would say that for Neva is "act of service": despite her eloquence and silver tongue (or maybe because of them), she finds that words can lack meaning behind them, they can be deceiving. So, she practices what she preaches, and rather than just say "I love you", she shows it with her gesture and the constant care that she has for her King.

Barnabas, on the other hand, is "Physical Touch". With all that has happened to him, throughout his life, he has always kept people at an arm's distance, (at least, emotionally speaking), so demonstrating how he feels through touch comes more easily to him. Infact, it's not rare to see him initiating all kind of soft effusion with Neva, especially when he has the certainty that no one would disturb them.

15)Who initiates kisses? Where is their favorite spot to kiss each other?

Again, Barnabas is the one taking initiative, usually initiating contact with her by landing soft kisses on her neck, just below the jaw on the scarred side of her face, something that sends Neva literally to Heaven (she is so very sensitive about the scarred part of her body, but Barnabas doesn't mind at all). He does so to also " test the waters" and check if she is willing to join him in his bed for the night. Neva doesn't initiate kisses, content as she is to just be swept in His Majesty's arms. This is due partially because she DOES enjoy being chased by him, and partially because there is a part of her that still looks at him with the respect that ought to be given to her King.

DOMESTIC LIFE

10)Who is more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Neva, without a doubt. While she doesn't initiate things with Barnabas, awaiting instead on him, she is most definitely the one who WILL convince him to stay in bed with her in the morning. They both favour the darkness (for obvious reasons), so they enjoy being awake during the wee hours of the night, and when morning comes -and duties with it- Neva is the one that would try to convince her King to stay in bed with her and sleep between her arms.

Thank you so much for sending me this, @thatcrazycrowgirl <3

I had fun thinking about my darling Neva and Barnabas <3

[amberjazmyn]

carry on - chapter eight

another very long chapter which includes valencia's cover shoot and interview with vogue! this is when we learn some very sensitive things about valencia and how her childhood shaped her into the woman she is today! so, there is a little bit of angst within this chapter but it shouldn't be too triggering. but if it is, do not read unless you know within yourself you are ready to read this chapter!

january 31st 2019 

liked by valenciawalker, alexandercalvert, jaredpadalecki and 1120 others 

vogue "i just wish that my time on the first four seasons of supernatural weren't me attempting to reclaim and rebuild my childhood after not getting the permission to have a one when i was an actual child, you know? i just wished that i didn't have to grow up so fast before i joined supernatural as it was so detrimental to the way i now feel towards certain people in my family - my mother most especially!" 

supernatural actress valencia walker talked to us at vogue about how she wished that she didn't have to use the first four seasons of supernatural as a way to reclaim her missed out on childhood. revealing all in her tell-all interview with us, she revealed that she had to grow up quickly due to the abuse she was put through by senior members of her family - most especially walker's mother, tricia. she also mentioned in regards to reclaiming her childhood that whilst she wishes it was different, she's still glad that she was able to do it on supernatural and with the cast and crew as it became her therapy in a way that made her feel comfortable and secure enough that she could be able to act childish off-camera inbetween scenes. when, she was in reality, in her late teens and early adult years, starting the show at fifteen years old. more on valencia's abusive childhood and all things mental health, supernatural, the infamous los angeles audition trip she went on, her relationship with fellow supernatural actor alexander calvert and so much more if you click the link in our bio. the video interview will also be available at that link as well if you'd rather watch it come from her directly. once again, thank you to valencia walker for being so open and honest with our interviewer, valerie tejeda and our editor elaine welteroth. you are such a class act, valencia and we love you to infinty and beyond. we cannot wait to have you both on vogue with us! 📸; peytonfulford 

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valenciawalker thank you once again to elaine and valerie for being such amazing interviewers and editors during and after the interviews and photoshoot. such classy, lovely women i've ever had the pleasure of meeting and conversing with. i'll for sure love to come back to spill even more tea some other time! 

alexandercalvert i was watching as ria was getting interviewed and it just made my heart so full to see how beautifully she was being treated which in turn helped those words come out of her mouth with ease, especially when it came to speaking about her upbringing. thank you so much teen vogue for everything in this interview and photoshoot! 

jaredpadalecki getting to see and hear valencia finally open up about her childhood and getting that opportunity to talk about it i think has really been a blessing for all of us at spn, not just valencia. whilst it did break all of our hearts, getting to see valencia be the child she was never able to be in between scenes in seasons one-four was the biggest joy we could have seen. it always gave everyone the smiles and laughter we needed. most especially if the episode we were filming was an episode that was emotionally heavy dependent. 

liked by vogue, robenedict, jensenackles and 1220 others 

valenciawalker as well as a filmed interview with vogue, i also performed two lil cover performances of queen's love of my life and louden swain's she waits because why tf not, ya know? 

* 

love of my life by queen was a song of my childhood without a doubt. whilst i didn't have the best of childhoods, i was still grateful that i had my dad and six other siblings to help get me through the abuse that i was given the brunt of by our mother. love of my life was a song i could connect with, in a way that i really shouldn't have especially due to the way freddie mercury had written it. especially with the lyrics "love of my life, you've hurt me, you've broken my heart and now you leave me" because as a kid despite all the abuse, i was a kid and didn't know any better but to still love my mom despite all the hurt she gave me and put me through. she was also the first person to break my heart and then just leave me and the family without any warning so, that song is a song of mine that brings me some comfort when it shouldn't since it was originally written as a "break-up" song. and she waits by my gorgeous friends at louden swain, is the more obvious song that i can relate and connect with. just like my best friend rob benedict who is louden swain's lead singer, a parent of mine abused me and left without a warning. except, rob's and i's, whilst similar, are different from the parent that left. rob's father left whilst it was my mom that left. when i sing 'she waits' i sing about how no matter the hate i have for that woman, i'm still always going to hopelessly wait for her even though i know she's never going to come back. that lady who was supposed to be my mother, never was my mother because she left for another man and a whole other family just because she didn't like her youngest daughter who was me. thank you once again to voguefor being absolutely brilliant and so caring and sensitive. and thank you so much to peytonfulfordfor this amazingly cool photo of me laying on the floor after i had finished singing love of my life seconds before i had to quickly sit back up for my performances of she waits!  

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vogue best celebrity we've ever interviewed in years! thanks again valencia!

robenedict best cover i've heard of she waits in the whole world! love you valencia! 

jensenackles this interview was the best we've ever seen for our costar, thank you so much vogue! 

peytonfulford this photoshoot with you valencia for sure was my favourite! 

vogue

"I JUST WISH THAT MY MOM ACTUALLY LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO!" VALENCIA WALKER TALKS ABOUT HER ESTRANGED MOTHER TRICIA LAMB AND SUPERNATURAL, ALEXANDER CALVERT AND LOS ANGELES

WRITTEN BY: VALERIE TEJEDA AND ELAINE WELTEROTH | INTERVIEWER AND EDITOR

valencia walker | photo by: peyton fulford for vogue

talking with supernatural actress valencia walker was a real insight. when we think about the tall, beautiful, texan honey brunette actress we always go straight to her character, elodie winchester, on cw's hit show supernatural and don't even think about lying because i also go straight to elodie winchester too. however, there's more about valencia that meets the eye and i'm so glad i got to be the one to uncover it. speaking with valencia, i found out that her biological mother is brazillian, born and raised in latin america and her father is born and raised in texas. but, the first thing you think of when you look at valencia walker is not that she's a latin american-texan woman but that she's tall, she's intelligent, she's pretty but she's loving, kind, hospitable and she's a leader. as i talked further with valencia, this is what i found out in my interview. 

bold fontis valerie and normalfont is valencia

hello, valencia, so nice to finally chat with you

hi valerie and likewise, i'm so excited to finally chat with you too

so just to get started right off the bat, can you tell everyone your name, where you're from and what you are best known for?

of course i can! so, my name is valencia walker, i was born and raised in houston, texas and i am best known for playing the youngest winchester sibling, elodie winchester on the hit cw show supernatural.

that's amazing. so, before i talk to you about all things supernatural, can we delve into what your early childhood before you joined supernatural was like as if i remember correctly, you joined the show in season one, when you were fifteen, is that correct? 

of course we can and, yes, that is correct. i was fifteen years old when i started supernatural in season one so, i was still very young and impressionable but, i like to think i was taken care of very well.

but, before that, before supernatural, your childhood wasn't a typical, amazing childhood was it? 

no, it wasn't. umm, for context, i have six other siblings so two brothers and three other sisters cause i'm the youngest out of the four sisters and of the whole family. but, i digress and, out of all of my siblings, i was the one that was despised by our biological mother.

that must have been hard growing up knowing that your own mother didn't love you

yeah, it was very difficult because i was so young, i had no idea that me just existing could be so annoying for someone who gave birth to me and then basically left me to be taken care of by anyone except for her.

but, that all changed when you got to a certain age where it got a lot worse, correct?

yes, it got so much worse when i was around two years old. it was at two years old that she started to abuse me and just be the absolute worse parent on the face of the earth. i mean, you wouldn't think a mother could stoop this low to her own child but, mine did and then stooped further after that as i got older than two years old. 

that's awful and i know nothing i can say could change it. so, i bet you were relieved when your mother just up and left the family, abandoning you guys and ending the abuse you received from her? or was that the end of the abuse from your biological mother? 

it is awful and i still wish, at the age i'm at now, that i could change it too. and, contrary to belief, i was distraught when she abandonded the family...

...really? 

yeah, i'm serious. i was distraught because it was only when i was five...four? when she left so it was only a couple of years after she started abusing me that she just decided to walk out. but, because i didn't know that what she was doing at the time was abuse and hurting me, i thought she was loving me so i was so confused and upset when she left because i finally thought that she had started to love me after so many months and years of her loathing me. 

that's devastating but, i bet you were glad as you got older and realised what she was doing that, when you joined supernatural at fifteen that, maybe, you could use that as a time to reclaim your childhood and is that something you wish you didn't have to do? 

ooh, that's a good question and, yes i do. i just wish that my time on the first four seasons of supernatural weren't me attempting to reclaim and rebuild my childhood, not just the first season. and i say this because, i didn't have permission to have a childhood when i was an actual child, you know? i just wished that i didn't have to grow up so fast before i joined supernatural as it was so detrimental to the way i now feel towards certain people in my family - but, my mother most especially!

you mention "certain" people in your family, so it wasn't just your mother that abused you? 

omg, no, no. i was only abused by my mother but, there were other people in my family that were complacent or were too proud to put their egos aside and realise that their daughter or their sister was abusing her own daughter that was a toddler and absolutely defenceless.

so, your own maternal grandparents and aunts and uncles didn't believe your father and siblings when being told that their own daughter/sister was abusive? 

yeah, that's it basically so, since then, i've lost contact with the majority of them which is kinda sad but, when they can excuse abuse running in their own family and not do anything to stop it, they immediately get nothing in return from me.

so, is that just your mom's side of the family or were there people on dad's side of the family that also didn't believe it? 

just my mother's side of the family with the exception of a few nieces and nephews who are now older and aunts and uncles that married into mom's side of the family but, other than that, it's just mom's side of the family. dad's side of the family were convinced straight away that mom had done some shady and awful things before it was even known by dad and my siblings. but only because i saw dad's side of the family a lot more than i saw mom's side. 

wow, i cannot imagine. well, now that we've talked about the dark side of valencia *laughter* can we talk about the trip to los angeles that you went on with fellow supernatural costar, rob benedict? 

of course we can but, hold your pearls guys, it's a wild ride *laughter*

it can't be that bad can it? 

*valencia nods her head*

it's bad? holy crap well, tell us about it valencia. you mentioned in an instagram post that you were there for an audition? 

yes, i was in los angeles for an audition with...can i say the company or will i get sued *valencia giggles*

you can say it, don't worry, if we need to blur it out in either the article or video interview we'll do that but, just say it anyway

okay well, it was an audition for a disney movie that my former agent actually forced me to audition for as the original reason for my trip to los angeles with rob was not for an audition. but flying over to los angeles, my former agent made it become an audition trip and yeah, it was just awful. 

you're saying former agent, does that mean they no longer are your agent? 

yes, i fired them because that trip was the fuse and it was time for them to go. they were awful, they were rude, condescending, didn't like the fact that i stayed on supernatural and the cw and didn't leave. 

wow, you actually had the power to fire your old agent? that's amazing so, are you now still looking for a new agent or was a replacement given straight away? 

yes i did and it felt really nice to fire the lady even though i'm not usually a mean person. and, i do have a replacement agent or should i say agents as i'm now representend by two people. they are a married couple and i absolutely adore them to pieces, they are amazing. and they love supernatural so, it's a win win. 

going back to the disney audition, what happened to that? like what happened? 

okay so, basically, like the old agent, the people that i was auditioning for were rude, condescending and really hated the fact that for my whole career, i've only been on the one network on the same show. and based on that, they decided that i was no longer the right fit for the role, even though they brought up the facts that i could sing, dance and act perfectly for the role of the main character. but then, they decided to change their minds and dump me which, in hindsight, i am grateful for otherwise i wouldn't be able to return to supernatural since i would have been filming and doing the circuts during the time of supernatural's filming. 

and yeah, that whole experience was just awful and rubbed me completely the wrong way which was sad as, like most people, i love disney and their movies. so it was kind of a shame that the people i was auditioning for within the company were awful people. 

well, speaking of supernatural, is there anything you can tell us or is everything under lock and key until the season premieres? 

ooh, you know i love to spill supernatural tea whenever i can. so, what i can say and am allowed to reveal is that i have returned and there is an explanation as to where elodie has been this entire time between the tale end of last season and the start of this season. we also see flashbacks of elodie's time wherever it is she was and it's going to be mindblowing. 

this is amazing! so, are we told straight away, like, is it revealed immediately where elodie's been or is it a slow reveal like it's going to be revealed over the course of a few episodes? 

yes so, basically as soon as elodie returns back to the bunker she explains to her boyfriend cas, jack and her brothers as to where she's been as this entire time, they've all thought she was dead so, it's a real shock to their system when they find out that she wasn't dead at all.

and with supernatural, that is how you met your boyfriend, alexander, is that right?

yes, that is true. alexander calvert, who plays nephilim jack, is my boyfriend *giggles*.

so, is it weird that on screen, you are dating castiel who is the angel and your boyfriend is basically playing a literal two year old? 

*giggles* i mean, at first i think it was weird cause obviously, we don't really know how old the actual "cas" is but, it is fun to pretend to date misha collins *giggles*

and alex doesn't mind it? he doesn't get jealous? 

no, he doesn't mind at all! nor does he get jealous! because, techncially, in the show, jack sees all of these guys, sam, dean, elodie and cas as his family so, it doesn't bother alex at all. he finds it actually quite hilarious that me and misha are dating each other in the show. 

that's so sweet. well, we all love alexander and jack here at vogue so, who was the first person to actually express their true feelings?

i think it was me first but alex wasn't too far behind so it was pretty quick and it wasn't awkward either so it kind of just happened organically kind of like how jared and his now wife genevieve fell in love during season four...

...i was just about to mention it reminds me of jared and genevieve's love story. that's so sweet! so, out of you and alex, who's the more romantic one? 

ooh, i have to say that's alex but only because for the longest time, i had no idea what a legitmate, healthy relationship looked like until i saw jared and gen and jensen and danneel's relationships. but, i think i have started to become a little romantic as well as i'm always the one writing paragraphs and posting loads of photos on instagram and all that.

what is your favourite thing to do with alex that has nothing to do with supernatural? 

ooh, i think i just love travelling with him and all the little adventures we get up too. like, we've been to hawaii together, we've surfed together, we've danced together. like, we've done so much together and i can't wait for that to continue. 

if alex was to propose to you, who do you think he'd ask first, your dad or the three men of supernatural, jared, jensen and misha? 

oh wow, that's a question! i mean, first, i think he would ask for my dad's permission but then i think he'd still go to jared, jensen and misha for their permission as well. cause, those three have known me and been with me longer at this point than my own dad and siblings have so, i think he'd ask all of them permission before proposing to me. 

going back a little bit, in our intro to this article and interview, it's mentioned that you are a latin american texan cause your biological mother is from latin america. can you speak her native language from latin america?

yes, i actually can speak portugese and i love it, i've been fluent in it since birth. one of the only good memories i actually have with mom's side of the family. i mostly speak portugese to, umm, woo *giggles* alex most of the time. like, his contact in my phone is the portugese word for angel because on supernatural, he plays a nephilim which is a being that is half-human half-angel. but i sometimes also use it in supernatural which you can sometimes hear in the background. but, most of the time i use it to scare the cast because they think i'm yelling profanties at them but i'm actually telling them, quite aggressively, how much i love them *giggles*

aw, i love that even though you don't really have a strong relationship with the majority of your maternal side, that you didn't completely let go of it. so, do you speak portugese to the aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins that you have kept in contact with?

omg yes, those guys and me have a group chat and all we do is message in portugese and it's so much fun. it's literally one of my favourite group chats. 

speaking of group chats, do you guys in supernatural have a group chat and what is it called and what are the nicknames you guys have assigned one another? 

this is funny. so, there's i think two. one that's actually quite professional and has everyone from the cast and crew and then there's one with me, alex, jared, jensen and misha that's purely used for shits and gigs. and that one that i just mentioned is called supernatural beings. and, the nicknames are half angel half human for alex, mish is misha,(una) moosed is jared, the word "una" is in brackets by the way, squirrel is jensen and ria (de janerio) is me and the words de janerio are in brackets as well.

wow, those nicknames are incredible, did just one person come up with them and what do they mean for those who may not understand

thank you, it was actually me that gave everyone these nicknames excluding mine. jensen gave me my nickname. so, alex's is self explanatory, he plays a nephilim, misha's nickname is just the nickname i call him if i'm too lazy to just add the little a at the end of his name. jared's came from the fact that he's a moose but with the spin of the word "unamused". jensen's a squirrel so that's why that's his nickname and mine came about because jensen's daughter, jj, struggled to properly say my name. for ages, she used to call me valeria instead of valencia and we just never corrected her so she then started to shorten "valeria" and call me "ria" and then jensen added "de janerio" at the end because my biological mom is from rio de janerio, brazil! so the portugese we speak is known as brazilian portugese! 

that's amazing and i'm so glad i asked that because i wouldn't have known that about you unless i asked so, i'm glad i got to find out something about you that i don't think i'd have known otherwise about.

oh you're welcome. i used to be ashamed of being latin american and texan but now that i'm older, i've embraced it and i love it about myself. and alex loves it too so, i'm winning at life. 

one more question and it's in regards to supernatural and the future...

okay, hit me, what's the question?

when supernatural does end, where will you go? will you end up singing cause i've also found out that you're an amazing singer or will you stay in the acting industry and just hope that your agents find you a new acting role? 

ooo that is an amazing question! and thank you for saying i'm an amazing singer *giggles*. umm, in all honesty, i'm not sure what or where i'll end up doing or i'll go after supernatural ends. but i would like to do both if you know what i mean, like, i may put out an album on the side whilst i do some little tv and movie projects here and there, who knows? but, right now, my main focus is definitely on this new season of supernatural. 

well, that's our interview completed! thank you so much for letting me interview you, valencia! i've found out so much about you, as has everyone watching this video and reading the article! 

no thank you for letting me be here! it's been a true honour and i've loved it! 

once again, a huge thank you to valencia and her management team for letting me interview her. it was an honour and i'm so glad she was able to be so open and real and raw with me and honest in her answers to my questions, even the ones that were personal. if you wanna know more about valencia and keep up with her, you can follow her on instagram at her handle which is just valencia walker. 

valencia walker | photo creds: valenciawalker on instagram

TAGS: VALENCIA WALKER -  SUPERNATURAL - LOS ANGELES 

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valencia couldn't resist the smile on her face as she saw all the positivity about her newest interview article with vogue blow up in front of her. she felt like a kid in a candy store as she saw all the comments about how inspirational and an amazing influence she was for teenagers and young people everywhere. 

"...thank you again for this interview and live performance valencia. you were absolutely brilliant to chat with today. we cannot wait for you to come back with the rest of the supernatural cast one day!" elaine, one of the editors of vogue conversed with the young actress as they exited out of the vogue building 

"aw, thank you elaine! this was so much fun, i'm absolutely privileged to have had this opportunity with you. so, thank you for allowing me to speak about it and be honest!" valencia spoke as the ladies hugged before parting their separate ways 

as she then recieved a message from jared or, as he's known in her contacts as, moose. 

 moose

hey ria, i know you were just at vogue but, how far away are you from set?

hey jare, i'm like five minutes away. why, is everything okay? 

yeah, everything's fine. we're just chatting about season fifteen being the final season of supernatural.

oh yeah, i forgot we were in talks about that since last season

so wait, we have been renewed for season fifteen then? 

yes we have baby girl. we got renewed but, we're thinking in march that we'll announce that season fifteen's our final

okay, so, we have a couple of months to let it sink in before we release it publically, that's cool

i mean, are you okay with it?

umm yeah, of course i am. i know how badly you, mish and jensen miss your kids and wives!

thanks love but, we just want to make sure that just because the rest of us are ready that you are also ready. we know how much being on supernatural has meant to you and how it's been like therapy. we're just worried that what we think is the right time to finish isn't the right time for you, that's all. 

jared, please, don't be worried. yes, season fifteen is the right time for us to hang up the show. i've been on it since i was fifteen. i've also been worried but, that's okay, i'm truly ready to hang up elodie's hat and honestly, i've been ready for a little while now.

as long as you're sure because we'll be recording then uploading a video in march that announces that the announcement of season fifteen is our final season just so they hear it directly from us first.

okay, understandable. and a great idea but holy shit, that'll be a hard video to film.

i know sweetpea but it's like like you said

yeah, it just seems crazy that we've been the longest running sci-fi tv show in america on the cw, you know?

i know love, it is insane but, that's the beauty of a show like this. we have the privilege to be going on for this long and then have the ultimate decision whether or not we want to continue.  

even without all the awards, all that's mattered is the family we created over the fifteen years

just hit the nail on the head ria. it doesn't matter that we don't have all the awards for supernatural. the only thing that matters is the community and family that's been formed because of the show. 

the text conversation went on for a few minutes before valencia drove back to the supernatural set lot so she could be made aware of everything else that jared couldn't tell her over text. since some stuff can only be told face to face which was completely understandable. knowing that after finishing season thirteen with elodie winchester's mind-blowing return to supernatural to where they were in the middle of season fourteen, the renewal of season fifteen and that being the final season, there was a lot to process for the cast and crew of supernatural. but, that was the beauty of their show. there was never a dull moment when you're a part of supernatural. they were finshing filming for season fourteen in march on the twenty-sixth before it was to be released in october so they could then start filming for their final season, fifteen, in july 2019. season fifteen was going to be absolutely bittersweet but just as enjoyable as any other season. 

- - - 

ik i may have confused y'all with the timeline but, trust me, i didn't. 

ok bye ily xx

wc; 5129