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spocks-husband · 1 month ago

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✨Axel's Ultimate Batman Video Game Play Guide and Reviews

You guys seemed to enjoy the previous version of this I did with all the Batman Animated shows, and now that I'm done with all the Batman games I thought I'd post my thoughts on those too! I decided to do this one in just like. Regular text format. Bc I didn't feel like editing all these into images like I did for the last one. So uhhh lemme know which format you prefer lol.

Anyways, please enjoy my comprehensive thoughts and feelings on (almost) every modern Batman game, five months in the making because I have no life. Enjoy!

🦇

Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)

My Personal Rating: 7/10

My Total Hours Played: 17.1

Steam Rating: Overwhelmingly Positive (96%)

Description: The first game in the Batman Arkham Series. Based off the iconic Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth comic from 1989 (aka the only good thing Grant Morrison has ever produced in his entire feeble life). The inmates at Arkham Asylum have begun a violent riot, and as Batman goes through the hospital to stop them, he uncovers a sinister conspiracy involving his greatest enemies.

Play If You're Looking For: An intro to the Arkham Series, a very different interpretation of Arkham Asylum compared to other versions of Batman, and some really dark aesthetics. Also, this isn't explicitly canon, but according to this series’ timeline, this game takes place in the space between Jason's death and Tim’s arrival, so if you're interested in a very dark, brooding, traumatized Bruce, playing this game with that information changes it a lot.

Things I Liked:

Genuinely really scary

Incredible atmosphere

Both Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamil are featured in their iconic roles

Really well written

Birthed a bunch of really iconic Batman memes (go to the r/Arkham subreddit, it's so funny unfortunately) (OFFICER BALLS.)

This was actually my introduction to Oracle and I love her more than anything in these games

Things I Didn't Like:

The graphics aren't fantastic but to be fair it was 2009 so

THE FUCKING BANE BOSS FIGHT. GOD. FUCK YOU BANE. THAT SHIT TOOK ME SO LONG.

The Killer Croc boss fight wasn't super difficult but it was so scary that I cried the first time I played it so. Keep that in mind.

Batman: Arkham City (2011)

My Personal Rating: 9/10

My Total Hours Played: 27.5

Steam Rating: Overwhelmingly Positive (95%)

Description: The second game in the Batman Arkham Series. After the riot at Arkham Asylum, Sharpton ascends to the mayor's office and cuts off about 6.4 acres of Gotham as ‘Arkham City’; a walled off portion of the city where crime runs rampant and mostly untethered.

Play If You're Looking For: Agonizing Brutalia angst, a fight with pretty much every Batman villain who's ever existed (except for Scarecrow but that's for AK), a tiny sprinkle of Brucie Wayne right at the beginning, and an INCREDIBLE story that is generally agreed to be the best in the series.

Things I Liked:

TONS of collectibles

Taliaaaaa my angelllll <<3

The side missions are really great

If you get the DLC, there's a special game section focused around Harley where you play as Tim’s Robin and it's super fun

The story is just. My god. It's so good. It's SO good.

The map is massive and there's so much to do, I was still playing weeks after I finished the story

Things I Didn't Like:

As much as I loved the collectibles there's like over 400 of them in the game and I couldn't get all of them and it still pisses me off

You have to play as Selina a few times in order to progress and she's like super weak compared to Bruce (not in a misogynistic way on my part I mean like she genuinely dies after like two good hits) and her dialogue annoys tf out of me. Sorry I'm a hater.

Batman: Arkham Origins (2013)

My Personal Rating: 9/10

My Total Hours Played: 27.2

Steam Rating: Very Positive (89%)

Description: The third game in the Batman Arkham Series– but this one is a prequel! I actually played this one after Arkham Knight but. Shhh. Anyways, this game is based loosely off the world presented in the Batman: Year One comics, and follows a younger Bruce in his early days as Batman, including the origins (lol) to many of his greatest enemies as they try to hunt him down, with their efforts spearheaded by a certain someone behind the scenes. Also it's Christmas!

Play If You're Looking For: Little baby angsty Bruce being a problem child, a game where you get to punch cops, and tiny tiny tiny baby Babs being adorable (she's like twelve and she's so cute).

Things I Liked:

I don't usually care about the soundtracks for video games but. FUCK the music is good. It's all based on Christmas/Nutcracker music and it's really really cool

This game genuinely helped me get over a lot of really deeply ingrained trauma surrounding Christmas /gen

Fun little Mad Hatter side mission!

Batman and Riddler argue like teenage boys (because they are)

Alfred and Bruce's relationship has some genuinely really beautiful characterization in this and their arch is really enjoyable

Things I Didn't Like:

FUCKING. BANE. HE HAS LIKE THREE SEPARATE BOSS FIGHTS AND THEY'RE ALL SO HARD AND SCARY AND AND AND AHHHH

The graphics are a little iffy but to be fair my view was skewed bc I played this right after finishing Arkham Knight

Batman: Arkham Knight (2015)

My Personal Rating: 8.5/10

My Total Hours Played: 47.9

Steam Rating: Very Positive (91%)

Description: The fourth and (kind of) final installment of the Batman Arkham Series (not counting Arkham Shadow because idgaf). Scarecrow is back, and threatening Gotham with a new fear toxin compound, resulting in a mass evacuation… but something else is going on here too, and Batman has a new enemy who may be his most dangerous yet.

Play If You're Looking For: agony, pain, suffering, nightmares, tears, emotional exhaustion, etc.

Things I Liked:

Really well written story (it's just really traumatizing)

Some of the most beautiful graphics in any video game like. Ever.

The DLC suits are SO COOL, you can play as Flashpoint Batman….

Really really great fighting mechanics that make combat actually really enjoyable even though that's not really what I'm here for

Amazing side missions; there's basically a side mission for every mechanic in the game, so whatever your favorite part is there's a little section where that's pretty much all you do

Things I Didn't Like:

This game took me WEEKS to get through because the story is so painful it was genuinely not fun half the time

The ending isn't very satisfying (to me)

You know the concept of the “all is lost moment” in story telling? Yeah, this game’s “all is lost moment” is like 80% of the game. Everything is lost like. Most of the time.

Oh we're just not gonna talk about Talia. After all that shit in Arkham City. Okay. Cool.

Selina is so annoying in this game, there's this whole side mission that's basically just her and it's really irritating

FUCK YOU EDWARD NYGMA THAT DRIVING COURSE WAS BULLSHIT AND I COULDN'T GET THROUGH IT NO MATTER HOW HARD I FUCKING TRIED

I actually just kinda hate driving games generally and there's a LOT of driving in this game but you get used to it eventually and it becomes easier

Gotham Knights (2022)

My Personal Rating: 10/10

My Total Hours Played: 46.9

Steam Rating: Mixed (68%)

Description: Batman is dead, leaving Dick, Jason, Barbara, Tim, and Alfred to pick up the pieces and finish what he started.

Play If You're Looking For: Batfam content, a perfect mix of “holy shit I haven't cried this hard in years” and “this is the funniest thing anyone has ever produced ever, goofy dialogue and one liners, and casual queer rep.

Things I Liked:

The map is HUGE and genuinely feels so unbelievably alive in a way that I don't think any other Batman game even comes close to in its depiction of Gotham– like I could write ESSAYS about how well this game captures the experience of living in a big city like Gotham (let me know if you want me to make a post about that actually lol)

Collectibles that are actually reasonable and fun

Super fun side missions

Absolutely gorgeous graphics

The characters can emote and all the Batkids have their own dance moves :( and Jason dances like he's 70 years old it's really cute :(

Even after completing everything in the entire story it's STILL fun to go patrolling because it keeps generating new crimes– premeditated or otherwise– for you to fight and it's really fun

The Batkids have a pride flag in their house ☹️ and Dick has a bi flag mug ☹️

Things I Didn't Like:

Literally everyone hates this game for NO FUCKING REASON it's genuinely fantastic you guys are just losers

Talia is unfortunately characterized kinda shitty and it makes me sad bc her design is incredible but she does some OOC stuff :(

You can customize your suit but not as extensively as I would've liked

This game gets kinda hard to play at points because it's really hard to see your screen through all the tears (cough cough the last boss fight cough cough)

Batman: The Telltale Series (2016)

My Personal Rating: 5.7/10

My Total Hours Played: 9.1

Steam Rating: Very Positive (86%)

Description: A 5 episode point-and-click adventure following Bruce Wayne as he faces some of his biggest challenges, both as Bruce and as Batman.

Play If You're Looking For: Minimal combat and story-centered gameplay.

Things I Liked:

I love love love the character designs in this game, this is actually one of my favorite versions of Bruce possibly ever

You get a lot of opportunities to make Bruce and Selina kiss in this game and I said no every single time and it was very gratifying for me

Alfred and Bruce have an incredibly sweet father-son relationship (if you play your cards right, anyway) and it makes me really emotional because Bruce literally loses EVERYTHING over the course of this game and Alfred is there at his side the whole time

The ending was really satisfying overall and actually made me enjoy the game a lot more

Things I Didn't Like:

Chapters 2-4 are INCREDIBLY stressful, especially for me because A) there's an involuntary psych ward commitment and B) there are a lot of themes around the Wayne's developing a bad reputation and being hated, which are massively triggering for me personally and because I don't have the spoons to play through the whole thing at once I had to sit in that stress for a while before it concluded in-game

Batman: The Enemy Within (2017)

My Personal Rating: 4/10

My Total Hours Played: 10.2

Steam Rating: Very Positive (91%)

Description: The sequel to “Batman: The Telltale Series”. John Doe is let out of Arkham and seeks to take you up on that favor you promised him.

Play If You're Looking For: BatJokes, Angst, and a lot of “Is Batman Good For Gotham?” Stuff.

Things I Liked:

The opening chapter with Mori was kinda fun

I think Amanda Waller was written pretty well overall

Things I Didn't Like:

Fucking any of it lowkey 😭

Same as the other Telltale game tbh

For me, it was emotionally exhausting and really upsetting, but that's just kinda because I HATEEEE the “impossible choice” trope in any almost any media, I just never enjoy it, and there's a LOT of it in here

The ending made me wanna kms because there's literally no good option here what the fuck

Like I get that's the whole point but. Okay what if I kms what then.

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