#DAMN YOU MENTAL ILLNESS

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

good day: (exists)

our mental health: >:]

good day: (no longer exists)

[persistent-wallflower]

Uh god how do you find guys who are into the same stuff as you and also like you as well. Hell on earth

[gensational]

New Dawn

Please check out @doodledrawsthings 's wonderful Don't Worry about it AU if you're something that's on the opposite end of the Nine sols AU spectrum!! I absolutely adore the potential nine sols farm sim while yi faces the consequences of having a conscience.

I SLEFKJHSLDAHDFLSAK i love you yi nine sols. you little bastard.

Bonus yinnovator au crossover doodles under the cut.

[starlitmeadows]

little traditional artdump bc i don't have anything normal to post👍

unfinished comic about the flower

not very proud of it but i dont really care since its main purpose was to help me test new Sif design

[icarusredwings]

Why do you write nothing but angst and torture omfg stop fetishizing his pain

😐😑😐

*gestures to literally all of the fluff I write*

*gestures to sick fics*

*gestures to Wade HEALING mentally*

*gestures to Logan helping him feel better physically so he's NOT in pain*

*gestures to the fact that you saw angst that I wrote and immediately came onto MY blog where I put MY stories that you clearly haven't read or else you would see that my ratio is pretty 1:1*

*gestures to the LITERAL FLUFFY LITTLESPACE WADE I JUST WROTE*

Like are you fucking blind??

How the hell am I fetishizing his pain when I have multiple things about helping him?

I deleted your first ask that accused me of "making people cry for my own sick fantasies" because what are you even talking about.

I don't think when people tell me im making them cry it is 100% always physical tears more like my writing touched them on an emotional level, so they're saying this so I know that.

Is there some stories in which they probably did cry irl? Yeah because I cried while writing them too probably. None, and I mean not ONE of my fanfics have a bad ending, I never leave the endings angsty. Its physically impossible for me.

So, is this the attention your mommy didn't give you? Did you get what you wanted? Because your acting like a little whiney bitch right now that has no clue what theyre talking about <3

[lucabyte]

hello

is this how your peopls work. i am obsessed with your comics and the panel layout and the way they react to eachother and sdgafkhgfdhsagfha s i very desperately need to have a grasp on how you see them in their dynamic and interacting and i feel like i don't know as much about how isabeau and loop be interacting but i am so so so so SO curious as to how that goes and how they feel about eachother pre-"i'm a former siffrin" and post-"ok you know who i am"

oh hell yeah a diagram we love a diagram

but yeah i'd say you've gotten my interpretation of the dynamic down pretty solid??

in general i think my instinct with loop-isabeau interactions is a lot tamer/calmer than others ive seen, my reasoning for why being hmm... i think i can note my core 'things im keeping in mind from the text' here

isabeau's line in act 6 remarking that loop seemed 'shy'. for all of loop's bravado @ siffrin (and thus the player's pov), they are still siffrin, so while it can be easy to percieve them as this loud bombastic personality-- there is this textual reminder that them acting this way is probably due in part to being up against siffrin, someone who won't speak unless spoken to (and thus loop takes the initiative, and is also presumably reveling a bit in making them uncomfortable and annoyed, inkeeping with their self-hatred and self-flaggellation) this to me reads as a reminder that they'd probably retreat into their shell hard when presented with other people- the party included. so even if i can see them trying to undermine their relationships with others, i think it's probably more on the insidious 'insulting siffrin to make the party protective of them' side, because that also feeds into 'proving' that the party only cares about one siffrin and that loop can be replaced. meanwhile isabeau has shown that, even with a vicious jealous streak, he can mostly keep a lid on it. he's the most emotionally intelligent of the group, and would probably be able to suss out loop's self-harm-via-getting-people-pissed-off-at-them gambit relatively simply given how obvious it is. also isabeau is not immune to insecurity-- and would probably let loop take some precidence over their relationship with siffrin because 'well i cant compete with the guy who actually went through All Of The Timeloop With Them.' because like... damn how are you supposed to do that. loop understands their pain better than isa ever could, and it would show in their fucked up unspoken understanding of each other (because how is Isa to know thats because theyre the same guy, and not just because the timeloop traumabonded the fuckers baddddly. which it also did.).

timeloop stressful as fuck. absolutely has both of them on tenterhooks the whole time. we visibly see how it affects siffrin (despondance & mania & aggression), and we see SAPfrin be very. very very despondant. so it would seem to me that loop is basically in a perpetual state of mania, given how sif's internal monologue begins to resemble their way of speaking (with the tee hees and such) when they are clearly broaching into manic states. one can assume that if you take loop out of the Torment Nexus, while they probably wouldn't faire well, all of the tension and pressure that's holding them up would collapse, likely putting them more depressive again by default? Of note, whenever i write loop's dialogue (which im told i do well? i will be honest i kind of feel like that's far too high praise.) i initially write it as very blunt and pissed off-- and will afterwards go back in and Maybe change wording to be more 'silly', but mostly i just add tildes~, italics, exclamation points and laughter to the pissed off dialogue without changing the actual content of it?

loop likes their friends! They are fucked up in the head about it (badly!!!) but they like their friends! They still care a lot, and can barely even hide it a little bit with their aloofness in game. it feels redundant to even try pointing out where they slip up because its everywhereee. They de-person their Actors because theyre the same lines over and over and over, but you see in SAP alone how any break from the script makes them overwhelmed with emotion, and how devastated they are if that deviation occurs a second time and becomes predictable (dying to the king after triggering the requisites for the true end, forcing you to go through it again). BUT!! You take their friends out of the timeloop and let them be New Unpredictable People again? I genuinely find it hard to believe mx siffrin "i love my friends so much id explode the world about it" nolastname would be able to see that and just go "nope im emotionally disconnected i can keep being a bitch to these guys forever". like no theyre gonna slip into being at least neutral no matter what. even if it's in a quiet depressive state when the mania wears off.

my biggest deviation from frequently observed fandom things here i think: i think loop doesn't actually believe that ISAT!Party are 'replacements'. they rarely if ever word a sentiment like this. this is something the fandom goes for because the horror of being replaced wholesale probably WOULD make it easier to cope if you considered those people to Not Be Your Real Friends. But loops WHOLE act 6 spiel? 'THEY WERE MINE FIRST. I LOVED THEM'? (paraphrased) they obviously desperately want to be with them again, and know they're the same people. The Fighter/Defender discrepancy clue is mostly metatext here-- since Loop never acknowledges the defender title-- just calling ISAT!Isa Fighter-- because they are the same guy. Your Fighter. They even call them Fighter in the "You got memory of X, your Fighter will now..." dialogues! Which are practically system dialogues! So. they see these isabeaus as the same. And while I would not put it past them to come up with the "they are different, my party is Dead" thing to Cope... I do think it is a delusion, plain and simple, and that I think any post-knowing-the-truth party would probably shut down weird rituals ive seen the fandom propose (often in a cute way??? it makes me feel insane?? like the concept of loop 'memorialising' their 'dead' family is not cute its nuts. they are being nuts. its like actively feeding into an extremely maladaptive coping mechanism. sorry this is like a massive sidebar but like. Yes i do think this is something loop might do if left unchecked. but it should not be presented as sane or rational? it outright undermines the themes of the game to treat the concept of 'Loop's party' being 'dead' as 'True'?? There's like several points in the game where Loop and Siffrin express that things that happened in the loops Still Happened even if the party dont recall it-- which is why their actions-- being cruel or doing 'experiments' still hold weight and can be Wrong. That it's tragic that the party will never remember but that their forgetting is NOT a pass to do whatever with no consequnce (experiment, bad touch, etc). It follows that by Nixing all of "loop's party", treating them as seperate, in some way implies loop's memories are Lesser and what they did "doesn't matter as much", which is antithetical on account of being contradictory to however you take the stated theme. PLUS... The game and Paratext are clear that there is One Timeline. SAP is in the same contiguous space as ISAT-- it is effectively just that on the loop between SAP and ISAT that we the audience dont see-- loop ate that star and when the loop restarted there were two of them. for all intents and purposes one can intuit that Loop 0 of isat and SAPfrin's first loop are legitimately identical from sif's POV, as Loop does not reveal themselves until Loop 1. BUT YEAH GIANT SIDEBAR OVER. THIS WHOLE READ OF THE TEXT INFORMS MY THOUGHTS RE: ISALOOP AND RELATED CONCEPTS VERY GREATLY)

jesus christ i wrote a lot in the above um. sorry. i dont know if its intelligable. uh. good luck?

im also on team 'orrery book and sif's thoughts about it belie a real deep-seated brainworm' re: their response to a Cautionary Tale About How You Will Inevitably Kill Your Double seemingly being "Nah, we'd be besties."... like. i do think it is. funny. and not particularly Unbased. Given how they are. For siffrin and loop to specifically be compelled by how they are the same guy. And i think that there's a lot to be mined from 'Both of them are convinced that the party knowing who loop is would fuck up everything badly, so they're going to great lengths to conseal this' played in tandem with '... they are like. very much explicitly doing things together that are directly related to a feeling of shared ownership over siffrin's body and form & the fact they are The Same Guy'. like it is a hysterical setup to me and i think is only added to when you have to put Isabeau in the middle of this polycule also. With the few exceptions of times ive drawn stuff specifically hinging on characters Knowing Who Loop Is (which is like. all bonnie-centric stuff so far? i think?), i take a lot of care to try and make their exchanges Vague as if they are worried about being overheard or saying something that's too much of a smoking gun. But also it's really god damn funny to think about how concerning some of those things could sound the vaguer you make them. Remember that above all i live and die by The Bit. (... as do they.) ie basically because im powered by The Bit thats why i focus more on the sloop side because its like. actively Funnier and more drama filled. or at least presents oppertunities for such. i feel like on isabeaus side here its kinda frequently like

yknow ? (oh god my formatting is broken now) . i DO very much think it can become like. niceys. of course. i think they can just be normal fucking throuple eventually (though if i'm going that goddamn far into the future u may as well partycule the fuckers 2 me. by the time theyve solved whatever the fuck you call pre-reveal isiloops i think odile has gotten involved at the very least. but this is why i mostly keep myself to the realm of 'the mostly immediate post-game conflict' stuff since i think all these characters leave off the end of the game with such solid springboards for arcs set up (clearly intentionally) that the infinite realm of possibilities opens up too wide for me to be comfortable with.) anyway i keep thinking about the tragicomedy of isabeau finally finding an "in" to nurture a friendly bond with loop by comisserating and steeling themselves for changing again even though it feels like a betrayal of their previous actions/beliefs and how fucking funny the idea of 'loop reveal but theyre like 2 weeks into using she/they' is. just like you get all the way through the horrors of 'oh jesus christ the timeloop was even worse than we thought it was' but now '.. d. do you still . what pronouns do you want?' is tacked onto the end. Sorry did you hear something . must've been the wind. anyway . this ask is a fucking mess i hope its readable like at all . can you tell ive been brainscramblied for six weeks

TL;DR:

yeaghj you got it. its not like im doing anything revolutionary im just trying to stick as close as i can do what i percieve the characterisation is in canon & thus generally dont tie down any of my fanwork to specific post-canon-plot-concepts. its all just nebulous extrapolation set 'pretty close to the end of the game because i think these characters are going to grow and change extremely rapidly once the game is over given how they're all intentionally poised for character arcs when the game ends'. but also you should put isabeau in the worst social bind of all time with two of the most mentally unwell BPD OCD havers youve ever seen and let him try to figure out the balance of 'be gentle' and 'treat them like the almost-30-year-old adult they literally are' while he also balances his own set of entire life changes it'll be fine he'll be fine (someone should probably check on him)

[m-ilkiee]

"Omg ur exposing minors to bad stuff" if a minor can read and understand fanfiction, they can also read and understand the following words. RATED 18, DARK CONTENT, TW. INCEST, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

And if they can't understand simple sentences, then Wattpad is right there for them. Not tumblr.

You can bitch and moan about how writing shit like this is "bad", but really the closest thing you've read to an actual book with nuance is ... actually nothing, you don't read anything. It's always the smau writers who just entered tumblr, like shut up and sit down. If you're worried about kids, host a security seminar to parents to monitor their online presence or teach kids internet safety and how to use the block option. No one is obligated to hide their content from you because you think you're on a moral high ground compared to the rest of us. People like you are the reason why we can't say murder and kidnapping and call real pedophiles pedophiles because you don't want "kids" knowing bad stuff, but in reality you're doing more harm than good with your chronically online takes.

Respectfully take a break from smaus and pick up a book. I may not endorse many things but I'm on the side of artistic freedom and blocking people. I'm on the side of writing about darker topics and exploring trauma, because talking about pedophilia was how I discovered that I was assaulted at seven. Something I didn't know because adults with YOUR mindset refused to let me know that it's wrong for an adult to touch a child because "what about the kids."

I'm not saying children should be exposed to reading r 18 fics, god no. I'm saying that 1) people should write wtv the fuck they want without being looked at as a bad person. 2) kids should have a safe space, preferably with a trusted adult that is NOT on the internet who will not be afraid to talk about darker topics that can affect them. 3) enough of what about the kids or the mentally ill people, why should a kid be on my account?

[honeypleasejustkillme]

my whole existence is a trauma response :/

[mrmeepsmadmind]

idw bumblebee and prowl shouldve broke up bcs he wouldnt stop 𝚊sking prowl to pause his report for just one lil astrosec so he can change his various pastel colored pens while making his cute little aesthetically pretty for no reason & very time - consuming notes with big colorful fonts & cute designs real quick

also another thought abt annoying ass bb trying to make running a literal planet cotteque so he doesn't go crazy bcs hes now a politician when all he ever wanted was to deliver mail & smile & wave at bots who call him cute ---

bee: 𝚠heeljack, im so sorry about this but do you mind repeating the time-stakingly long introduction, instruments, research references, modules, hypothesis, counter thesis, procedures, analysis, second - retrial, results, & explanation that you just spent 700000 earth hours saying because i was busy drawing a cute little bee in the corner of my notes please :] ?

wheeljack:

idw bee trying to run a planet that fucking hates him is just rlly funny to me, especially since everyone views bee as the goody character who everyone loves & he views himself as that & then they finally win this consuming war & he can reap his rewards of being loved without holding a gun & no one fucking likes him. hes even getting on his own old team's nerves & not in the loveable scamp way but the get the fuck out of my face way

[betaphannie]

oh god they're getting so old they don't even remember it's not gamingmas anymore

[luvevee]

Getting into Mouthwashing is awesome until you wanna autistic babble to others about it only to realize most of the convos discussing the game are 95% about Jimmy and nobody else, please I want variety

[jojosbizarrekakyoinobsession]

I think the older Kak gets, the more unhinged he becomes. Gone are the days when he puts on a polite, shy façade in public. Gone are the days where he’s super self conscious about his appearance and behaviour. Kakyoin in his 50s is someone you DO NOT want to piss off.

He’s not afraid to openly roast you, especially in front of others. He’ll bombard you with tons of useless and weird fun facts because he has spent way too many years with Jotaro, who always encouraged him, doing just that. He won’t hesitate to beat you to a pulp should you inconvenience him or his family. He’ll put on the most obnoxious and bright attire when he goes out because he thinks it’s “epic” (the guy is like 10 years behind when it comes to internet culture). He’ll gleefully bully teens that get in his way on XBox Live. And he will tell you all kinds of embarrassing facts about his family (Jotaro and Jolyne absolutely despise Nori for that).

And the irony of it all is that Jotaro, big, intimidating Jotaro, who has become so much calmer as he aged has to be the one to calm his husband down. Jotaro has to be the one to tell him “Oi, chill out, Nori.” And as a result, he will pick up and carry Nori out of the room.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[antisdonotinteract]

peace was never an option (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

✧~Best friend~✧ (*says's in Johnny's voice*) says the most inspirational and mind blowing thingsヾ⁠(⁠*⁠’⁠Ｏ⁠’⁠*⁠)⁠/ (credits : ✧⁠◝⁠ @yourthirdparent ⁠◜⁠✧)

[pa-pa-plasma]

this is what i've been fucking talking about why are these people green on shinigami eyes when they're straight up posting about how much of a piece of shit TERF they are at every chance. what the fuck

[some-pers0n]

God redditors are miserable I hate this app. Word advice? Delete it. Never go on it. Never go near reddit. Ever. For your own sake