#Commissions don't just support me financially

[coolbeesbro]

I still haven't made any sales and time is ticking for me to get paperwork filed to legally change my name and sex on ID's and legal documents. I'm not just desperate to get this done because it would be nice to just have that finalized before I no longer can. I can't get a passport until that's done without getting immediately identified as trans, and I need a passport in case I need to flee the country for safety's sake last case scenario.

If you can't buy anything, commission me, or donate $3 I completely understand. I know there are others out there like me who are in the same boat, or others who really can't afford to do any of those. That's fine and I don't hold it against you, and I don't want you to feel guilty for it either. Ultimately at the end of the day you need to make sure you're ok and safe and have the help you need as well. The only thing I ask is that this gets shared so more people can see it who may be in a position to help financially.

I made a post compiling resources for everyone else in my shoes that should help with name/sex change information in every state, along with legal self defense information, emergency Grab and Go list of things to have, and resources on how to obtain Plan B, its shelf life, as well as side effects and proper storage. If you can, share this one as well so it can reach as many people who may need it as possible.

Here's the link: Important Resources.

I'm compiling more information and resources for those who have pets and how you can keep them with you if you have to leave in an emergency.

I love you guys, and please stay safe. Right now all we can do is come together and form stronger communities of support across the US. My friends in red states, do whatever you need to keep yourself safe. Know your rights, take the steps so you can to defend yourself, and I encourage you to put together an emergency Grab and Go bag.

Stay tuned for more information shortly, and if there's anything you think I should look into and add to the list, leave me a comment, send me a DM, send it to my ask box under anonymous, leave it in the tags, whatever way you can communicate that keeps you safe.

Thank you, I love you, and please stay safe.

The peeping stickers are finally in! (3"-3.5")

Along with them, there are new prints, pins and cards! You can buy these stickers in a 5 piece bundle for a deal, or buy a few individually! I will work with you on packaging all items if you'd like things set up individually or grouped bags to given as gifts!

The first 25 orders will get a free goodie bag with one 1" holographic vinyl Narinder sticker, one 2" temporary Kalamar tattoo, and one 1.75" Narinder heart holographic pin! Help support a trans artist with every order, and all orders are delivered within 3-5 business days!

[wardenswateringhole]

Commission for @bellafragolina. Rowlet got a little excited and bit the good Professor's finger. Luckily Ren was there with a first aid kit and a kiss to make it all better.

Ren belongs to @bellafragolina

---

Like what you see? I could always use more commissions!

Click Here for Information on ordering a commission!

[fragglerockopinions]

.

[psi-hate]

hey all. once again i'm frustratingly backed into a corner regarding my irl situation. as i posted earlier, my assistant manager informed me so much of the workplace abuse i've suffered these last few months have been a result of transphobic discrimination by my boss. after months or working 10+ hours overtime a week, consistently covering my boss's shifts because he decided not to show up, lack of training, safety issues and sabotage by giving me false information about my job tasks, just to start, it broke me. my A.M. is a really sweet man who is a queer person of color and stood up for me and my girlfriend whenever our boss would talk shit about us behind our back, but finally couldn't take it anymore and quit, telling me everything that's been happening. my boss has been trying to get me to quit by denying me a raise he promised, along with all sorts of other lies and misgendering. it's been weighing on me for months and it's all crashing down. we can't work there anymore. our boss is literally interviewing our replacements TODAY because he said he doesn't think we'll last the abuse.

problem is, financially speaking, we don't have much of a choice. i have a couple months of savings for rent, but that's pushing it. i'm sure i could find something in that time, and have been applying for a few weeks now, but my options are really limited regarding transportation. i want to try and get a car to help getting a job outside of our limited walk-able options, but currently i can't afford one *and* rent at the same time.

that being said, i'm going to be trying to do commissions while i'm working things out. if you'd like to help me out, it'd mean a lot to me.

https://paypal.me/George578?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

Some examples of my work! Feel free to reach out for quotes. Estimated price for these would be ~$50-$100

Thanks so much.

[magua-vida]

I'm Sorry.

I haven't been well and my old laptop keeps dying. I don't know how long until it stops working completely, but I just want to give a heads up in case I can't do digital art anymore. Financial stuff haven't been going fine either. Thank you for the people who have supported me and commissioned me.

[sanctus-ingenium]

we need to talk about Inprnt.com

Following a really good post with more screenshots and evidence by @dynasoar5 i'm going to talk about my own experiences with @inprnt and why I am about to put my shop on indefinite hiatus from Monday the 14th of August.

First of all I'll say that since starting my print shop last year it has been a significant help to me financially - I was able to not worry about affording car insurance or motor tax (together commonly over a thousand euro) when I bought my first car, for example. I am immeasurably grateful to anyone who chose to buy one and I treasure all the pictures I've been sent of my prints hanging up on people's walls. Right now they are displayed in a real (if small) art exhibition in my home town.

(top right print is not from inprnt though)

They're great prints. Never had any complaints about them. But here's what's going on behind the scenes.

Earlier this year, around March or April, Inprnt sales started increasing in regularity. I'd made as much as $600 a week during previous sales when I made proper promo posts here, but with this increase in regularity, I felt that I couldn't make promo posts every single week. And then one day, I'm not sure when tbh, the sale just never ended. It just didn't stop having that "Ending soon! 15% off your order" banner at the top of the site. Right now it says "Final Hours: $5 Worldwide shipping and save up to 35% off your order!" and not even for a second do I believe in this final hours bullshit. It's been 'final hours' for weeks now. Months, even.

Why is this a problem? Well, how tf am I meant to make a promo post for a sale that is always "ending soon!!" and then never ends. One week it'll say "this weekend only!!" and then when the weekend is over, the sale banner just changes its wording and the sale doesn't end. I can't promo this, it makes me look like a liar and a skeevy salesman by association! It makes the site look like it's 1 week from crashing and burning, and the site owners are just scrabbling to suck as much money from artists as possible before they drown.

And they are sucking money from us. To peel back the curtain, Inprnt money can only be transferred to my paypal account 30 days after the sale is made, just in case the order is cancelled and refunded. This means I used to make one withdrawal every couple of months, when there was enough build-up of money to make it worthwhile. It also forbids withdrawing any sum under $50 btw. I would make a withdrawal request and then, after a 10 business day wait, it would reach my Paypal account.

Not anymore! The past few withdrawals have taken over a month to complete. They are straight up keeping my earnings from me for longer the agreed period. This was my last fulfilled withdrawal:

Note the date.

Almost two months.

And here is the latest withdrawal request that still has not been fulfilled.

It's coming up on 1 month and if the pattern continues, it could literally be November or December by the time I fully clear all sales.

So what's going to happen to my print shop? Because my art is currently being exhibited with a QR code linking to the shop, I can't close the shop this week. Instead I will close it on Monday the 14th of August, next week. That means that on the 14th of September, I can withdraw all of the remaining money without having any left over. My account balance will go to 0 and stay there. Although I'll de-list my prints I will leave my account there, because at the end of the day I don't want to leave Inprnt. It still offers the best artist margins and as I'm now unemployed after graduating, the additional support is such a load off my mind. So this is a chance to wait and see - if they improve their services, I'll happily re-open.

It's a big deal to me because selling prints is sort of my ideal life as an artist. I never had the attention span or self-discipline for commission work and I found that it left me creatively stagnant. I always want to try new things, new concepts and ideas, and being able to think "yeah, people will like this as a print" while I experiment is honestly very reassuring. And I know that in going on hiatus, it'll break a lot of "buy a print" links in my circulating posts. Oh well lmao. If you want to buy a print right now - go ahead, it might be your last opportunity. Another way to support me would be to check out my ko-fi for once-off donations or some nice sketchbooks/comics/book samples you can buy, or subscribing to my Patreon.

As of right now, Inprnt owes me $381 (the unfulfilled request submitted above for $186.60 and my current standing balance of $194.80 which takes 30 days from each transaction to clear).

[athena-cat-wizard-official]

Hi everyone,

Unfortunately my car has been pretty badly damaged, and the repair costs are over $3000. I don't really have that sort of money, especially with phone bills and rent coming up.

I've never really made this sort of post before but I could use any financial help people are able to provide. Even a few hundred would help ease the cost.

My commissions are still open on Ko-fi but donations would be appreciated as well. I've added a Gofundme too, for just donations. I have an upcoming hospital placement that's going to be a 7 hour drive away in an area without public transport so I really can't afford to be without a car either.

Please help, even just reblogging a bunch would be appreciated! Prices are in AUD so it should be a little cheaper for US folks.

$420/3000

Thank you so much to everyone who donated

Ended up getting $420. This isn't enough to avoid wiping out all my savings but I was able to get a little extra from my parents, so I at least am not in debt. Hopefully with the money I got I can cover bills and groceries until my next pay period.

I'm leaving the go-fund-me up until I get all the money transferred to my account but then I'll close it. Please still feel free to ask for commissions on Ko-fi, as I could still use support to rebuild my savings.

Again, thank you so much everyone!!!

[stnaf-vn]

Rent + Moving + Medical Bills

Hey all, I really hate to do this and I wasn't going to but I really need the help. I am struggling at this point just to pay for groceries. I am supposed to be moving soon to go back home and I'll need to mail my things which is gonna cost I don't know how much. I also have a few medical bills from last year that have been sold to a debt collection agency, so I need to take care of that as well which equates $1000 and then some. Any help is appreciated and I have a few comm slots open. If you're wanting more NSFW stuff done, reach out to me on Tumblr or Discord. Ko-fi doesn't allow NSFW commissions on their platform. Please don't donate if you are also financially struggling!

[albywritesfiction]

ATE Devlog #9

Hello everyone!

After The End Chapter 1 Part 3 is finally here! In this part, you will:

get back home just in time to be reunited with someone you haven't seen in 3 months

talk to this certain someone about Prince Ædric's proposition

decide on which route to go through: the Sovereign route or the Heir route

ALSO!!! This update comes with a new codex tab that has entries for some of the main characters of the story WITH CHARACTER ART!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT, WE'VE GOT OFFICIAL COMMISSIONED ART PEOPLE

LOOK AT HOW AMAZING THE ART IS

ALL BY MY GOOD FRIEND @obsolete-stars-if GO CHECK OUT HIS IF!!!

I AM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS

*ahem ahem*

With this update, I'd also like to mention that if you guys enjoy what I write and you'd like to support me, I've set up a Ko-fi! It has some membership tiers set up in addition to the option for one-time donations, but their main benefits are early access to both future chapters and extra content, so don't worry about missing any content if you're not that keen on it or if you'd like to but are financially unable to!

Once again, constructive feedback is more than welcome and any coding or grammatical errors may be reported either in the comments section of the game or through sending an ask here.

Thank you for giving ATE a chance and I hope you all enjoy!

P.S. Join the Discord server! ^_^

Play it here:

[thehanalia]

THE SUBTLE ART OF BECOMING FINANCIALLY FREE IN 2024 💸 🎀 ྀིྀི

Hey girlies, Hanalia is back, ready to dive into some real talk about achieving financial freedom. No fluff, just hardcore truths to help you grow and secure your future like the badass queens you are.

1. Know Your Worth: Ladies, let's talk real. Your value isn't about how many likes you get or what brand you wear. It's about your talents, your skills, and your drive to succeed. Invest in yourself—learn, grow, and never underestimate what you bring to the table.

˖⁺‧₊ It's not just about earning money; it's about how you invest it. Our aim is growth, and often, you need income to invest in yourself. ˖⁺‧₊

2. Budget Like a Boss: Financial freedom starts with knowing where your money goes, okay. Time to get real with those finances. Budgeting isn't about restrictions; it's about empowerment. I used to think it was all about penny-pinching, but it's really about knowing where every dollar goes and making intentional choices.

3. Crush Debt: Debt can feel overwhelming, trust me, I've been there. But facing it head-on is how you break free. Start with the high-interest stuff, make a plan, and stick to it like your future depends on it—because it does.

˖⁺‧₊ Debt can feel like quicksand, but you're no damsel in distress. The sooner you free yourself from debt, the sooner you'll have more money to build your empire.˖⁺‧₊

4. Invest Wisely: Investing isn't just for the rich. Start small, educate yourself, and build your portfolio. I've learned that the sooner you start, the more your money can grow over time. It's about making your money work for you, not the other way around.

˖⁺‧₊ PS. Forget the lottery mentality. Real wealth is built through smart investing. Educate yourself on stocks, bonds, real estate—whatever piques your interest. Start small, diversify, and let your money work for you.˖⁺‧₊

5. Build Multiple Streams of Income: Oh my osh! I cannot stress enough the importance of this! Your 9-to-5 isn't your only option. I've hustled with side gigs, freelancing—you name it. Multiple streams of income give you security and freedom. Don't limit yourself—explore what lights you up and brings in the cash.

6. Protect Yourself: Life's unpredictable, but you can be prepared. Having health insurance and an emergency fund can be lifesavers. It's about peace of mind and knowing you're covered, no matter what.

˖⁺‧₊ Get health insurance, build an emergency fund, and consider long-term savings like retirement plans.˖⁺‧₊

7. Own Your Future: Financial freedom isn't an end goal; it's a mindset. It's about having choices and the power to live life on your terms. Stay focused, stay disciplined, and never settle for less than you deserve.

Your money is your shield. Make it stronger, fairly. I completely understand that nowadays there are countless ways to earn income, but always choose the ones that align with your values.

You can click here to get your own goodnotes planner at my store GlowInGrow at 75% DISCOUNT.

However, if you're into making some extra cash while you hustle towards your goals, I've got this cool affiliate program, click here to JOIN US 30% COMMISSION. It's all about empowering each other to glow and grow. Let's support each other on this journey, because together, we're unstoppable. 💪💸

Last but not least, at the end of your journey of becoming that girl awaits the future who is The Girl!

Stay safe and stay hot...

With Love, Hanalia

[abyssalzones]

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN ONCE MORE. 1 MILLION DEVILS UNLEASHED

but yeah I'm doing art for money again! This time they're going to be open a little longer, as I'm actually for realsies this time going to school in the fall. yes I know I said that last time but I had to switch schools due to no housing being available. I'm an autistic trans person with C-PTSD and if there's anything attempting retail has taught me it's that I... literally cannot do a retail job, for both physical and mental health reasons. I receive some financial support from my family but I cannot seek an education without some supplemental income so I'm reaalllyyy depending on you guys to get the word out and reblog this post (unless disney wants to pay me to make gravity falls comics) (that's a joke. don't repeat that)

bottom line: If you'd like a commission, contact me through tumblr DMs, email me at Polymathfordk@gmail.com, or if you already have me on discord just contact me there :] thank you!!!

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Commission Menu!

I've removed the "Pay What You Want" commission option, though you can pay more than my asking price on any of the commissions. The commission menu itself has been increased though! I had originally intended to open commissions in September, but emergencies happened, forcing me to open them early.

On the menu are:

A set of four quilted magnets or decorative pins.

A set of four coasters, with several options for more coasters as well as insulated batting to make them into hot pads/pot holders.

A single mug rug, with insulated batting as an option. For my shop, I use insulated batting for the mug rugs. For commissioned pieces, it's two layers of cotton batting or an extra $5 for insulated batting.

Due to popular demand, a single serving dining set. This is for a single placemat and matching coaster.

A four piece placemat set. If you would like me to make more placemats for a set, please contact me about this.

A single mini quilt. These range from 18x18 inches to 25x25 inches. They're excellent wall and table decorations!

A single table runner. I'm rather fond of these because of how flexible they are with regards to use. How so? Hang them on a wall, drape over the back of a couch, lay across a car seat, use it on an altar or shrine, etc.

A pine tree wallhanging. These are an excellent alternative to a Yuletide tree. They're hung on a wall and you can decorate it with your favorite pins or buttons. If you would like some decorative pins, I can make those (see the first item on this list). No trees will be cut down, cats won't be climbing up it nor break ornaments, it takes just a couple minutes to set up or take down. Storage is also very easy! Oh, and it can be made with a wide range of colors.

A rag quilt. I have different size options available! These are made using a quilt-as-you-go technique and are very quickly made. Oh, and they're EXTREMELY warm! My house gets very chilly in winter, and the rag quilt I've made for myself works like magic.

Just the quilt top. This is available in several sizes, the largest being twin. This is for just the quilt top. You will need to purchase backing, batting, and either do the quilting yourself or hire someone else. You will also receive all fabric scraps left after the sewing is done.

Please read over the details and don't be afraid to ask questions. If you're a monthly supporter, you will automatically receive a 15% discount, but you have the option to pay more than my asking price should you decide you don't want to use the discount.

Please reblog! It's the only way other people will see this post. Liking this is only a bookmark for you. Remember, Tumblr is a blogging site with social features; it's not a social media site. You are, however, welcome to share this post on any social media site you use.

Remember: commissioning me, purchasing anything from my shop, or donating to my goal will earn you an entry into winning a free quilt when said goal is reached.

Commissions close November 1st.

After November 1st, I'll be focusing on making a stack of quick and easy quilt tops to practice free motion quilting. Those quilts will be sold at a steep discount. Once I'm comfortable with FMQ, I'll be making larger quilts again, and these will be listed in the shop.

At some point, I'll take a break. Financially speaking, that's not really an option unless we pay off the last vet bill and the water heater installation. If those goals are met, then yes, I'll take a long overdue and well-earned break.

If you're willing to give me full artistic license and the only input you give is choosing the size range from the commission menu, use GOHOGWILD for a 15% discount. Please know there's a 90% chance it will be a Halloween quilt. Halloween is my favorite month, and celebrating it with quilts is always a pleasure. You are not required to use the coupon code, and there's the option to pay more than my asking price. I just really want to make some Halloween quilts.

Here are samples of my work, some of which you can purchase from my shop here.

[edelblau]

ill maybe do some art for this later, but for now-- 15% off sale on my ko-fi comms with code 'THEAGONIES' (or above link)

tl;dr: this month has sucked really bad. ive suffered nigh constant nausea with my only relief being getting a steady supply of cough drops delivered because otherwise i was constantly under the sensation of being about to vomit.

in addition, just yesterday my family finally held a celebration of life/funeral for my uncle. he died incredibly unexpectedly and there's just been.... a lot of an emotional toll. i ultimately ended up unable to even attend the event due to the recurring nausea and... i don't know. suffice it to say that stuff is quite bad for me right now. im financially drained from the burden of constantly ordering cough drops (did you know 3 things of halls being delivered can cost fucking. 17 cad. me neither) and emotionally drained from everything else. i just need an Easy rest of the month so i can get myself together a bit and ultimately, everything in this world costs money for some reason.

my ko-fi gallery has examples of my art, or you can check my art twitter. rbing always helps as well. thank you all. sorry my blog has been a bit depressing lately and hopefully come july we can get back to normal. ty for your support as always <3

[mcalhenwrites]

Please boost if you can't help financially, thank you!

So here's the deal: My mom is getting a new car (used but new for her) and has a car that I could buy off of her. It's not the best and I can't afford it yet (alongside tags/taxes/insurance), but it's the only option I have. Buying a car anywhere else is either going to be extremely expensive, or I'm getting something from a stranger without knowing the car's issues. Three different people are giving me rides to doctor's appointments, errands, and work. I work two towns away. I have a book for sale. It's called Geckos, Automata. If you like urban fantasy with queers, automatons, necromancy, and the discussion of generational abuse and trauma, check it out!

Even if you've bought the book and want to help out, there are other ways as well! I have two tiers available on my Patreon: $1 and $3 If you like my writing already and want to support me, even $1/month is incredibly helpful! I've also got a Ko-Fi, with a car goal set already. You can send whatever amounts you like. I also will take art commissions, but they're just sketches and would be $15 per character, +$10 for an additional character. (Limit of 3 characters total.) You can ask me more about it if you're comfortable. Thank you so much whether you help out financially or boost this. It will help me out immensely, and it'll ease the strain on the three people who are giving me rides everywhere. I'm doing my best and working on writing, but I am disabled and struggling a lot financially despite all the different jobs I juggle. (And if I can't get rides, I can't even go to work, I can't get money. No, I don't have public transportation in the country.) I'm pretty desperate but I'm willing to work for my wages, and I'll work on publishing more stories. If you do want to check out my writing, I do have free original stories as well as fanfic up on my AO3.

[junebugzzz]

emergency commissions open!!!

hey everyone! so i've recently had to go no contact with my abusive family, and it's left me in a critical situation since i was financially dependent on them. i didn't have the chance to prepare for this, and there's a whole whirlwind of visa issues before I can safely be back in my country, but i don't wanna let up on it. because of this situation i'm opening up emergency commissions to help me sustain myself throughout this. this would help feed me, keep me under a roof and help my finances as I deal with shitty visa bureaucracy. i'm not entirely safe in my situation either and any commission i take improves my situation. even if you can't support me by buying my work, please reblog! please please reblog!! it helps me get to other people who can help me. i'm also working on opening nsfw commissions soon! keep an eye out for that on any of my tumblr accounts if you'd be interested. you could also dm me to be in a tag list. in the meantime, if you'd like to tip me, here's my Ko-Fi!

examples:

(i'm on a small time frame to get this post up and get some money in so excuse the bad examples, but i promise i can what you'd be paying for)

prices:

*PLEASE NOTE: i CAN charge full cost per added character - this is unless the additional character is a background character or a character with an otherwise lower amount of required effort. in that case the added character is billed according to the effort needed. In any case, just ask! i promise i don't bite :) we could discuss it and come up with what works for both of us.

how to commission me:

just send me a message with the following info:

a description of the artwork you'd like me to create. it could be ocs, fandom characters or real people. NOTE: i may have a couple limitations with fandom characters (if i dont know them) and real people - just ask!

any (good quality) reference images or inspiration that would help me understand what you want out of this piece.

your preferred communication method (tumblr, discord or email) for revisions and other related conversation.

i'll respond with a concept drawing and a quote, and we can discuss from there! depending on the complexity you'd want me to achieve in your commission, i could increase or decrease how much I ask for. dw, i won't charge you anything without discussing it with you first.

terms:

Payment is to be made via PayPal (preferably in USD) before work has begun.

I retain ownership of the art. Credit me when you use my work. For non-commercial use only.

I reserve the right to turn down or cancel a commission (with a refund in case of a cancelation) at any point if I see it fit.

Please send me clear references so I can better gauge what you want from my work.

Let me know in advance if you don't want your commission to be displayed on my social media, I'll respect it.

The finished commission will be sent via either discord or gmail (whichever you opt)

Commissions can take anywhere from 2 to 15 days to finish, depending on both the complexity of the work and any uncontrollable circumstances from my end.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for refusing to help my friend out financially after they got a new dog even though they need financial help often and are currently in debt?

Everyone is this story is mid to late 20s.

I have a friend in America who is on social benefits. So I know they don't have a lot of money. I'm also not rich but I earn minimum wage in my country and can afford to pitch in a little sometimes which I don't mind doing generally. I'm also not a big spender at all and I'm able to save up something every month.

In the past I've helped them with buying groceries and even gave them some so they could buy a laptop for art commissions and some games. I don't mind doing that at all. When their old dog got sick I helped out as well. Since I figure some people are going to want to know, in the last 5 years I have given maybe about 2000 dollars.

They got a new dog after the old one passed, which I get. A dog can be a good companion. I did find it a little irresponsible to get a new puppy when they at the time needed several hundred dollars for rent. I told them it might be better to wait until they where no longer in debt with their landlord before getting a new dog. They told me they understood my concern but they got the puppy for free from a friend so it would not be a big deal and they would be able to feed the puppy.

I did tell them puppies can get sick and end up costing a lot more than anticipated but they told me they were willing to take that risk and I decided to not push any further. I had given my opinion and there is not much else I can do. I did tell them not to count on my help financially especially since I had some things of my own that needed fixing and they told me they understood and not to worry.

But then a few weeks later the puppy ate their medicinal weed, which for some reason was within reach of a puppy, and had to get it's stomach pumped and stay overnight at the vet clinic for a few nights.

They came to me and asked if I could help out with the bill and how they would pay me back in part. The bill was over 4000 dollars. I told them sorry but no I can't. First of all, I don't even have that much, I'd have to take out a loan. Second, I warned them this could happen and that I would not be able to help out financially. They seemed a little pissed at that but I just thought it was because of the stress of the situation. They said they would try and get the funds elsewhere and asked me to share it around, which I did.

Unfortunately they didn't manage to get enough to pay the vet and ended up having to give the puppy to a shelter. It's a cute and calm pup so I have no doubt it will be adopted out quickly but it's still sad and I do feel for my friend. But now I'm being blamed for it. I've been getting several angry messages from mutual friends about how I'm the reason my friend lost their emotional support and how I'm the reason they are having a breakdown and suicidal thoughts.

I feel really badly for my friend but I also don't think it's fair to put the blame on me. The reaction from my online friend group makes me feel like I'm missing something that does make me the asshole.