#Cletus Critical

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

This Side Joke Really Grinds My Gears About The Current State Of Things

It's because you know the romantic plot line has become a tumor on everything when anything having to do with the og premise is just treated as a sidegag. Seriously, this should be something we should be more worried about rather than the Stolitz love drama bs. There should be more focus on troubles that IMP is having from all their activity on earth and how it could get heaven's attention. But nope just set it aside as a cheap joke, because we got to feel sympathy for that infuriating bird brain.

[casapazzo]

How to help western NC

Hurricane Helene wrought an astounding amount of damage from Florida to Tennessee, but especially in western North Carolina. (If you want to know why, this is a good explainer: https://slate.com/technology/2024/10/hurricane-helene-destruction-north-carolina-florida-georgia-climate-change.html)

If you'd like to help, Blue Ridge Public Radio has an extensive list of local organizations working in the area: https://www.bpr.org/bpr-news/2024-09-28/list-ways-to-donate-and-help-flood-victims-in-western-north-carolina-after-hurricane-helene

I'm cutting and pasting a few options here, but see the link for the full list.

Hope Mill, Inc - Helicopters Dropping Relief

Pilots are landing in areas of the mountains where road access is still cut off and/or where emergency crews have not yet reached with food and water.

The funds are being used to purchase water and critical supplies by a business based in the Charlotte region. Helicopters are primarily staging and departing out of Hickory, N.C.

BPR has confirmed the GoFundMe listed below is being managed by those directly involved in relief (the effort is also linked to the relief effort supported by Cletus McFarland, a helicopter pilot and YouTuber.).

A group of independent pilots with helicopters have been dropping off donated water, food, and supplies throughout the region for several days. GoFundMe: Support Hope Mill Inc's Hurricane Relief

Hearts With Hands (Swannanoa/Asheville)

A local-based organization that has been supplying food and essentials to Buncombe County shelters.

The group asks that you do not deliver supplies unannounced to their Swannanoa warehouse (they had to evacuate and are restoring services).

The request is for financial donations online. https://www.heartswithhands.org/

Manna FoodBank in Asheville

The organization’s warehouse was prepped prior to the storm.

There are many ways to get involved, volunteer, and donate - including online. Go here to give money to the Manna FoodBank online.

Foothills Food Hub

Working to source water and shelf-stable goods to distribute in McDowell County.

Requesting monetary donations, which can be made online here.

Community Housing Coalition of Madison County

The group will be helping fund emergency home repairs for Helene victims in Madison County.

The request is for online donations. Go here for more information or to donate.

[lordsireno]

With help from MediaSplosion, Tangy, and Blackbox, I've got a group of Elysian friends for Goal!

Harriot is a bookish girl who Goal met when they were both getting checks on their brain implants. She's rather critical of thoughtless actions, is terrified at the idea of Deponians, and finds her friends cute.

Cynthia is a long time school friend, loves coordinating with Goal and wants to be a aerospace engineer.

Veeyona is a higherclass citizen who loves pushing the limits of fashion (the only reason she likes Cletus a little), she'd like to make clothes but isn't good with her hands, the most likely to speak her mind and move along conversations.

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

MASTERPOST

Preliminary round/Round 0 (finished)

Rajan/Wolfgang/Kala vs Lito/Hernando/Dani (Sense8) Winners: Rajan/Wolfgang/Kala

Fluorite vs Greg/Rose/Pearl (Steven Universe) Winners: Fluorite

Eddie/Venom/Anne/Dan vs Cletus/Frances/Carnage (Venom) Winners: Eddie/Venom/Anne/Dan

Peter Quill/Aradia/Mors vs Peter Quill/Gamora/Richard Rider (Guardians of the Galaxy) Winners: Peter Quill/Aradia/Mors

Max/Jack/Anne vs Miranda Barlow/Captain Flint /Thomas Hamilton (Black Sails) Winners: Max/Jack/Anne

Mercymorn/John Gaius/Augustine vs Pyrrha/Commander Wake/Gideon The First (The Locked Tomb) Winners: Pyrrha/Wake/G1deon

Logan/Jean Grey/Scott/Emma vs Bling!/Loa/Mercury Winners: Logan/Jean Grey/Scott/Emma

Round 1

Part 1 (finished)

Kieran/Ray/Gemma (Trigonometry) vs Nicky/Joe/Andy/Booker/Niles (Old Guard)

Eugene/Rapunzel/Cassandra (Tangled the Series) x Sasha/Anne/Marcy (Amphibia)

Neal/Peter/Elizabeth (White Collar) x Jade/Dave/Karkat (Homestuck Epilogues)

Anzu/Kazuki/Junta (Romantic Killers) x Pyrrha/Commander Wake/Gideon The First (The Locked Tomb)

Syenite/Innon/Alabaster (Broken Earth) x Breq/Mercy of Karl/Seivarden/Ekalu (Imperial Radch)

Taylor/Theo/Josey (3) x Tessa/Will/Jem (The Infernal Devices)

Kieran/Cristina/Mark (The Dark Artifices) x Sofiane/Victor/Luisa (Mortel)

Jack/August/Rina (The Wicker King) x La’gann/Coral/Rodunn (Young Justice)

Part 2 (finished)

Roguish Semiotician/Infamous Mathematician/Player Character (Fallen London) x Alphonse/Seth/Listener (Bittersweet)

Emiya/Saber/Rin (Fate Stay/Night) x Winter/Moon/Qibli (Wings of Fire)

Amber/Reese/David (Adaptation) x Jack/Emma/Izzy (You Me Her)

Camina/Michio Pa/Serge/Josep/Berthold/Oksana (The Expanse) x Enrique/Hypnos/Sofia (The Gilded Wolves)

Max/Jack/Anne (Black Sails) x Keiko/Miles/Kira (Star Trek)

Shikimori/Izumi/Ai (Shikimori is Not Just Cute) x Quincey Morris/Jack Seward/Arthur Holmwood/Lucy Westenra (Dracula)

Camille/Nyra/Dendro (Muted) x Turtle Heart/Melena/Frex (Wicked)

Storm/Helen/Mira (Love and Luck Podcast) x Neptune/Venus/Jupiter (We Know the Devil)

Part 3 (finished)

Nathan/Vlad/Ursula (Hunger Pangs) x Leif/Thorn/Kale (Leif and Thorn)

Haruka/Michiru/Setsuna (Sailor Moon) x Ichika Hoshino/Saki Tenma/Shiho Hinomori/Honami Mochizuki (Project SEKAI)

Sadie/Walt/Anubis (The Kane Chronicles) x Sherlock/Watson/Mary (Sherlock Holmes movies)

Dianda/Simon/Patrick (October Daye) x Caleb/Astrid/Eadwulf (Critical Role)

Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot (High Noon Over Camelot) x Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki/Nagisa Minase (Girlfriend Girlfriend)

Dashawn/Steve/Jose/Cupe R III/Otto/Arturo/Gregory/Quackers McQuack (Bojack Horseman) x Fluorite (Steven Universe)

Logan/Jean Grey/Scott/Emma (X-Men) x Uzui/Hinatsuru/Makio/Suma (Demon Slayer)

Eddie/Venom/Anne/Dan (Venom) x Ben/Ryn/Maddie (Siren)

Part 4 (finished)

Nathan/Gabriel/Annalise (The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself) x Peter Quill/Aradia/Mors (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Aizo/Yujiro/Hiyori (HoneyWorks) x Kyle/Rogelio/Lonnie (She Ra)

Princess Glisselda/Seraphina/Lucien (Seraphina) x Tess/Jacomo/Margarethe (Tess of the Road)

Daniel/Sam/Jack/Teal’c (Stargate SG-1) x Quanxi/Pingsti/Cosmo/Long/Tsugihagi (Chainsaw Man)

Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi (Iron Widow) x Tree Trunks/Mr. Pig/Alien Husband (Adventure Time)

Miss Piggy/Kermit/Gonzo (Muppets) x Rajan/Wolfgang/Kala (Sense8)

Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades) x Rilla/Arum/Damien (Penumbra Podcast)

George/Gilda/Thomas (Design for Living) x Asmodeus Alice/Clara Valac/Iruma Suzuki (Mairimashita, Iruma-kun!)

masterpost part 2

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

The concept of a "Thunderbolts: Kill the Avengers" really intrigues me. Yet I just want to write down my own take on it of what I would do with it. But be warned, this is essentially fan fiction and takes elements from certain stories. Because alias, this was something that really has been on my mind. And you can be critical about it if you've read comics.

The roster of the Thunderbolts is not fully known. Originally, I REALLY wanted Agent Venom/Flash Thompson to be in this and the "Lead character" in a sense due to how I love Flash's story and development as a character. But I feel it would make more sense and more interesting if it was Eddie Brock as THE VENOM. While Flash as Agent Venom would be...less of a "Reformed supervillain" and more of a superhero. I just really loved the idea of Symbiote gameplay with guns. And I feel like Flash needs more spotlight with his character development during the years. But the idea of an Eddie Brock/Venom being the "Lead character" in this game would get more people's attention. Where in this world after he had teamed up with Spider-Man to fight Carnage, Venom had killed Cletus and was sent back to prison. Even if Eddie and Peter have a new form of relationship where Peter can trust him but not fully. And now, with a new threat on the horizon, the idea to add Venom into new team gives Eddie more of a chance to prove himself (Or themselves, Eddie and the Symbiote) as a "Lethal Protector". Venom is silly but can be serious when he needs to be. This is also in a time where Mac Gargan never became Venom.

2. Songbird is one of the other major members of the Thunderbolts, a member from the original team. The other choices for the other two are unknown because I want the team to be unique and not have maybe like two Spider-Man villains.

Possible choices are Whiplash and Taskmaster. Each member has their own unique skills and move set. While Venom is a heavy but with Spider-Man like abilities but also using the Symbiote. Songbird is able to fly and use sound-based powers.

The story takes place in a time where the "Civil War" was prevented, Peter's identity was never revealed, and Steve and others never died. And the Thunderbolts weren't formed yet. Or a new version of the Thunderbolts not led by Baron Zemo. I am aware the Thunderbolts were a thing before "Civil War". But because of the threat of a villain unlike any other. Thunderbolt Ross brings out the idea of the Thunderbolts back into the spotlight because there seems to be no other choice.

Edit update there is a likely possibility of Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier being the third official choice in this Thunderbolts team. Going with the idea that he was only recently defeated and having his memories restored. He is no longer a brainwashed assassin. And despite going into prison, Steve was personally trying to help out Bucky through possibly therapy to help him on the right path. But when the invasion started, Bucky is one of the villains who wants to be on the Thunderbolts to possibly save Steve if he can. Because I realize there's a tragic angle of Steve almost going through the same thing as Bucky did.

The Winter Soldier's skills would be familiar to fans of shooters and essentially the Thunderbolt's own Captain America in a sense. Someone with similar skills but not like Venom and Songbird.

3. The main villain is a weird choice. The original idea was Doctor Doom. But I question if that would work right. Other ideas are Ultron, Kang, and Red Skull. But Ultron would mainly make robot copies of the Avengers while the other two are a different story. You'd also have to include Hank Pym in an Ultron story because Ultron was his creation.

I thought maybe the best course of option would be to make an original villain who has divided many of the superheroes on Earth. Because he's very aware if you have all of those teams uniting, there's going to be trouble. The Fantastic Four and Doctor Doom are stuck in Latveria dealing with an invasion. The X-Men and Brotherhood of Mutants are stuck in another area. While other major Avengers like Black Panther, Falcon/Captain America, Scarlet Witch, Captain Marvel, Doctor Strange are stuck in another area. Even other characters like Ghost Rider are transported somewhere else and a scary idea that the villain erased Deadpool out of existence, but everyone knows he was killed. It sounds fuckin stupid but scary as shit because the villain was aware of how self-aware Deadpool is and considered him way too dangerous to be left alive.

The main villain in a sick way wants to make his own Avengers or something. Almost like a sick game of roleplay. New York City is put into quarantine because S.H.I.E.L.D. does not want any of the invasion to go anywhere else. Have the main villain be voiced by Alex Brightman in his Adam voice from Hazbin Hotel.

The main four Avengers that have been brainwashed to do the villain's work are the big four that many people know. Captain America/Steve Rogers, Iron Man/Tony Stark, Thor, and Hulk/Bruce Banner.

Cap has killed Nick Fury. Iron Man has killed Hawkeye and Black Widow. Thor has killed Loki. And Hulk has killed the Abomination. Maria Hill is in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D. now after Fury's death and the recruitment of the Thunderbolts is a last resort because there are hardly any heroes left in New York City.

4. Spider-Man/Peter Parker is essentially the "Wonder Woman" of the game. Despite not really being an Avenger and having an off and on relationship with them. Particularly having issues with Iron Man and Thor. But he is rather fond and friendly with Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner. Peter has been Spider-Man for a decade and likely 24 years old.

Being one of the only heroes left not brainwashed in New York City. After the Defenders were gravely injured, and his close ally Daredevil nearly dying. Spider-Man is Hellbent on stopping the invasion despite how stressful it's been. He is making jokes, but he stressed and pissed. Especially with having a mixed relationship with the Avengers. He is surprisingly OP how he is in the 616 comics which is the reason he's been able to survive for so long. He's also Hellbent on stopping the invasion because Mary Jane is six months pregnant with Mayday during this time and is still in the city but safe.

He is trying to figure out a way get the Avengers out of the villain's control despite what they've done. And he's not dealing with the Thunderbolt's bullshit, especially Venom. Because even though Carnage was killing people, Peter did not want Eddie to kill Cletus, but he did it anyway. This sounds stupid but Peter has not wanted Venom to kill Carnage before. Despite Venom doing it to protect innocents. Which Venom brings up of what he's able to do what Peter won't.

But he is horrified when he learns from Steve that they need to die in order to save the world. The brainwashing/corruption is irreversible, and Spider-Man now has to accept the harsh reality that the Thunderbolts need to kill the Avengers.

5. Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur are stuck in the city as well and help the Thunderbolts by making them gear and whatever else. But honestly, this addition seems kind of insane because of three things.

The idea of that Moon Girl, a literal middle schooler living in this reality and inadvertently or...helping the Thunderbolts kill the Avengers. And living in this dark reality that they have to kill them.

I swear, if she is in this. People would straight up say, "Wait, wouldn't she be able to come up with a way to free the Avengers?"

The funny irony that the four big Avengers died...but the only remaining heroes in New York City are Spider-Man, Moon Girl, Devil Dinosaur, and a bunch of reformed supervillains.

Anyway, there is also the idea of adding Doctor Octopus into the team to invent stuff for the team too.

6. The corruption of the Avengers is viewed as a literal nightmare. And their deaths are viewed as a literal tragedy instead of a joyous victory or a joke afterwards. Including details that before their corruption. Tony was going through a possible "Demon in the Bottle" arc before he got brainwashed and was trying to do better.

And things like Venom not wanting to kill Captain America. But also, before their deaths, they have small moments of being able to be free of their brainwashing. Or when near death, they are free of it but realized what they have done.

One of the most tragic ones is the Hulk who is considered to be the most dangerous. While Hulk is being brainwashed, Bruce isn't. And knowing he sadly can't cure his condition or that his "Friend" can't be helped. Bruce decides to sacrifice himself in some way, saying he'd rather die like a man doing the right thing. And asks either the Thunderbolts or most likely Spider-Man to tell Betty he's sorry.

-

I think I've said enough. I just wanted to ramble about that.

[davidcharlotte92]

The Bible and the Contradictions Within

Despite being a holy book, the Bible, just like every other book, has many editions and translations that differ widely from one another. Some of these differences are so drastic that non-believing readers raise questions about the credibility of the narrator. Some believe, as part of their faith, that the holy book has more than one writer. While the believers have reasons and evidence to explain the contradictions in the Bible, non-believers see it as proof to reject the book and its teachings.

 At one point in the Bible, God marks Sabbath day as holy, but at another point, He dislikes the notion of considering one day more esteemed than the rest.

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” — Exodus 20:8

“One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.” — Romans 14:5

Not only in the teachings, we see contradictions in the biblical stories too.

“Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth.” — Genesis 7:2-3

“And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.” — Genesis 6:19-20

Before going forth, one must know that incest was allowed only in the beginning when it was necessary to increase the world's population. This was before any law was a writer, but after the Exodus (departure of Israelites from Egypt), incest was prohibited and never allowed again.

A more in-depth and critical study of the Bible proves that the holy book is filled with contradictions. There are contradictions in Old Testament, New Testament, International, and King's edition, etc. If in one verse, God forbids incest, then in another, he allows it and even blesses it. The list of contradictions in the Bible is long and hard to explain in a few chosen words, but there is much about it said in Cletus McMurtry's book, “Is that really in the bible?” McMurty takes every rejection of the non-believers and tries to explain it as logically and reasonably as possible. The fact that he is one of the few authors who has looked at the Bible objectively aside from being a religious texts helps strengthen his prose.

Some of the objectives taken by McMurty to explain the contradictions in the Bible are admirable hence worth mentioning. He explains the nuances involved in translating ancient texts many centuries after their first publication and asks his readers to think about context, perception, and interpretation. There is also the matter of the personal input of the interpreter and how a simple word can have different meanings, depending on how and when it has been said. For further information, you must read chapters 3 and 4 of his book as he explains the core of contradictions in the Bible quite exceptionally.

While the Bible provides enough ground to reject its credibility, there is much to be said about his followers who have never claimed it to be unchanged and untampered, unlike some other holy books. There is acceptance among Christians that the Bible today is not the book's religion. Over the years and many translations later, much of its wordings have been swapped or changed altogether, yet its core ideology remains the same.

[swashbuckler5e]

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Venom: Let There Be Carnage is a 2021 American superhero film featuring the Marvel Comics character Venom, produced by Columbia Pictures in association with Marvel. Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing, it is the second film in Sony's Spider-Man universe and the sequel to Venom (2018). The film was directed by Andy Serkis from a screenplay by Kelly Marcel, based on a story he wrote with Tom Hardy, who stars as Eddie Brock and Venom alongside Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris, Reid Scott, Stephen Graham and Woody Harrelson. In the film, Eddie and the alien symbiote Venom must confront serial killer Cletus Cassady (Harrelson) when he becomes host to a branch of Venom called Carnage.

Venom was intended by Sony to be the start of a new shared universe, and plans for a sequel began during the production of the first film. Harrelson was cast for a brief appearance as Cletus at the end of Venom, with the intention that he would become the villain Carnage in the sequel. Official work on the sequel began in January 2019, with Hardy and Harrelson confirmed to return as writers, along with Marcel. Serkis was hired as director that August, in part because of his experience working with CGI and motion capture technology, which was an important part of portraying Venom and Carnage in the film. Filming took place at Livesden Studios in England from November 2019 to February 2020, with additional filming in San Francisco in February. The title was announced in April 2020. Marco Beltrami was hired to compose the film's score, replacing Ludwig Göransson from the previous film.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage premiered in London on September 14, 2021, and was released theatrically in the United States on October 1 after multiple delays from its original October 2020 date due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Although it grossed less than its predecessor, the film was a box office success, grossing $506.9 million worldwide and becoming the seventh-highest-grossing film of 2021. It received mixed reviews from critics, who praised the action sequences, chemistry between Eddie and Venom. , mid-credits scene, and Hardy and Harrelson's acting, but criticized the screenplay, while the short runtime drew divided opinions. The third Venom film is scheduled for release on November 8, 2024.

[81scorp]

Constructive criticism: 5 Marvel movies (and a bonus)

Ah yes, the MCU. Say what you want about the popcultural juggernaut that is the MCU but it is still moving forward and doing better than the rollercoaster of uneven quality that is the DCEU. But since even the movies in the MCU have their dips in quality now and then I can only complain about the DCEU for so long before I get tired of it. (And let`s face it, soon there won`t be a DCEU since WB are gonna reboot the whole thing with a new DC movie universe with the help of James Gunn.) And since I want to be fair and balanced I thought I`d revisit the MCU and do a little nitpicking. Since I don`t have much to say about them individually I thought I`d gather not only a few movies of the MCU but also the two "We want to keep the rights to Spider-Man but since we can`t use him right now we´ll just make some movies about characters who have some kind of connection to him" movies made by Sony. (That`s why I call this CC "5 Marvel movies" and not "5 MCU movies".) So... if I had a Pym particle powered Time machine that could take me back in time... what would I have changed?

I am burdened with glorious SPOILERS for: Thor: Love and Thunder and Antman and the Wasp: Quantummania

Avengers Endgame Saved by the rat I get it, it`s about probability, their chances of winning were 1 in 14,000,605. What are the odds that the rat was gonna step on the right buttons in the right order and all that. But still. How I would do it: Scott is saved out of the Quantum realm by Cassie and Dr Bill Foster. Cassie wanted her father back and and Foster wants his adoptive daughter back (who in my version got dusted in the blip). I would have preferred if Scott had returned thanks to another character`s conscious effort to bring him back.

Sony`s mandatory "we want to keep the rights to Spider-Man but since we can`t use him right now we´ll just make some movies about characters who have some kind of connection to him" movies This is similar to what WB did with the Halle Berry Catwoman movie. Giving characters originally made to be minor, supporting or even antagonists to a more well known character their own movie could work, but like it says in the title, these movies are made because of a studio mandate. It is basically Sony and Marvel having a tug of war with Spidey as the rope. By the time I`m writing this the Kraven movie hasn`t come out yet. Does the trailer make it look cool? Yes, but that`s just the trailer, and we shouldn`t judge the movie by it, trailers often lie and bad movies can still have good trailers. But trailers aside, could it be good despite being studio mandated? Yes. But even if that was the case I`d still prefer if Marvel having all it`s heroes gathered under it`s own roof.

Venom: Let there be Carnage

Plot Venom is doing his thing: catching bad guys, beating them half to death and stealing from their wallets. He needs the money because he has no income because no magazine wants to hire a reporter that makes up stories. (To be fair, Eddie didn`t know that the guy he interviewed wasn`t the real Sin-Eater, but he can`t prove that.) And that`s not all, his symbiote is acting weird, as if it has an itch that it can`t quite scratch. Fortunately Eddie gets a second chance. A somewhat controversial news-site wants him to interview Cletus Kasady, a serial killer who is gonna get executed tomorrow. On the news it is mentioned that a group of mercenaries called the Wild Pack thwarted a terrorist attack yesterday. A little later Eddie meets Cletus and interviews him. Cletus mentions a girl he used to know when he was young: Frances Barrison. He used to call her "Shriek" (because of her super power: a sonic scream, but he doesn`t tell Eddie that, we only see it in his flashback). After the interview Eddie`s symbiote has calmed down, as if it finally managed to scratch that itch. Later that night as Cletus goes to sleep, we see a tiny little symbiote spawn crawling on the floor in his cell, looking for a host. (Cletus doesn`t bite Eddie in my version.) Next day: Cletus is gonna get the lethal injection but things of course don`t go well. The symbiote helps him break free and covers his body. He is now Carnage and he is gonna free his old girlfriend. Eddie hears about this on the news and is now on the chase but he is also angry at his symbiote because now he knows why it acted so weird earlier. Cletus saves his girlfriend from the Ravencroft institute and they decide to hit the town Bonnie and Clyde style.

Act 2: Venom runs into the Group called Wild Pack and their boss Silvia Sablinova (AKA: Silver Sable). At first they mistake him for a threat but then realize that he is not on the same side as Carnage. Venom reluctantly agree to work with them to defeat Carnage. He explains to them that Carnage`s living suit is the spawn of his own living suit. The alien lifeform known as the symbiote reproduces asexually. He feels responsible for of Carnage`s existence and feels it is his duty to stop him. A little later we get Silver  Sable`s backstory: As a young child she witnessed her parents`murder by Hydra agents. Her parents were wealthy and had plans to create Wild Pack: a group of mercenaries trained to fight terrorists and other kinds of evil. She made sure to make their dream a reality. They run into Carnage and Shriek and fight. Carnage and Shriek kills the members of Wild Pack and flees. Silver is distraught, but will not let this stop her.

Act 3: Venom and Silver Sable find and fight Carnage and Shriek. Carnage is believed to be dead (they never find the body), Shriek is captured and sent back to the Ravencroft institute and a funeral is held for the dead members of Wild Pack (Eddie shows up to pay his respect). Later Eddie has some serious talk with his symbiote. Next time something like this happens, like a little symbiote spawn, Eddie needs to know. Because if that little spawn attaches itself to some other psycho and they have to deal with another threat like Carnage, Eddie will sever his ties with the suit. The Symbiote: "Cut me off from you? What will you do without me? Who are you without me?" Eddie: "I don`t know. But I`m not afraid to find out." The Symbiote thinks about it. The symbiote: "You`ve got Stones pal. I admire that." And they have reached an agreement. The next day Eddie goes back to doing his usual thing. And since this version already takes place in the MCU he won`t be in a hotel room watching Peter Parker being revealed as Spider-Man on TV in the post-credit scene. Instead he`ll do... something else.

Morbius By the time I`m writing this I haven`t actually seen this movie, but I have a pretty good understanding of what happens in it thanks to videos on youtube that summarized the plot for me.

The title Morbius wouldn`t start in his own movie. Just like in my version of Venom he`d first start as a side character in a Spider-Man film before he becomes the main protagonist in his own movie. Why not Blade? Marvel owns the character, Blade was the first (good) Marvel movie and his introduction in the MCU is long overdue.What would the title be? How about: Blade: Enter Morbius Blade: Enter the Vampire Blade : Night of the Vampire or... Blade: Something something far from no way homecoming.

Plot Blade does his usual thing, slaying vampires. Later that night: Another gang of criminals are doing stuff but they are stopped by some vampire-like creature who sucks the blood out of one of them. The next day: Blade is approached by a bunch of guys working for an energy company called Roxxon. They tell him about Michael Morbius, a scientist who worked for them who used their resources to turn himself into some kind of vampire. They want Blade to catch Morbius but also to not tell anyone that Roxxon is (atleast partly) responsible for creating him. Blade understands.Later that night: Blade finds and fights Morbius. Morbius claims he`s not a criminal, Blade doesn`t believe him, Morbius escapes. Next night: Blade finds and fights Morbius but this time Morbius manages to convince him that Roxxon is the Big bad. He shows him proof of bad things that Roxxon has done the last couple of years. Morbius himself was suffering from a rare blood decease that he was trying to cure himself from, he never meant to turn himself into a monster. Yes, he drinks blood but he doesn`t want to do it. He has even created synthetic blood so he doesn`t have to drink it from real people but it doesn`t give him the same nutrition that natural blood does. Blade understands. The two of them head for Roxxon. At Roxxon: Spidey finds and fights Morbius but this time Morbius manages to convince him that Roxxon is the Big bad.It turns out that besides the usual human goons there are also a group of vampires that have infiltrated Roxxon. They are there because they have a "we need to make sure that this problem is taken care of properly" mentality. The Leader of Roxxon did not know that they where vampires. Blade and Morbius fight them and leak Roxxon`s shady, criminal activities to the public. The people at Roxxon do some damage control, claim that they had no part in those shady businesses. They have taken damage, just not as much as they should have.Blade and Morbius go their seperate ways. Morbius goes back to trying to cure himself and Blade goes back to slaying vampires.

Thor: Love and thunder Some of the bathos Bathos: in a litrerary work bathos is an effect of anticlimax created by a lapse in mood from the sublime to the trivial or ridiculus. Please note that I wrote SOME of the bathos, not all of it. It is not the bathos itself but rather how it is used. I would use it a little more sparingly. I`d lose the "Infinity Cones" joke but I`d keep the scene where Sif realizes that she will not go to Valhalla because she did not die in battle.

Mjollnir keeping Jane Foster alive but also killing her The Thor sequels are not kind to Jane Foster. It just feels like what ever Jane does she`s screwed. How about: The Hammer is not killing her. She still suffers from cancer without it but with it she stays alive.

The two goats Their constant screaming: Lose it, it got old fast. The goats being a gift to thor from an alien race that he saved: In the old Norse myths Thor used to travel the sky in a chariot pulled by two goats. I´d make it so that the goats are already a part of New Asgard, they could be living on a farm and when Thor arrives to New Asgard he could recognize them and say: "My old goats! I remember you guys! I used to ride in a chariot that you pulled, back when I was younger, before I got Mjolnir. Ah, good times." Something like that.

Zeus getting killed and Hercules only appearing in a post-credit scene I can alreday hear you typing: "But Zeus didn`t die, in a post-credit scene he was shown to still be alive." I know, but I personally I would not have waited for a post-credit scene to confirm that. How I would do it: Hercules would be present when Thor shows up to ask for the gods help. Things escalate, Thor fights Hercules, Zeus gets hurt or incapacited in some way and Hercules leaves his fight with Thor to look after his dad. Thor uses this opportunity to steal Zeus` lightning bolt and escape.

Korg getting reduced to just a face and still lives If he can survive losing almost his entire body, then what`s at stake? It makes him feel almost invincible. I would dial it back a little. How about: he only loses one of his arms. At the end of the movie they could reattach it again or he could get a robot arm.

Thor`s 11th hour superpower When was it established that Thor could share his power with others? It just comes right out of nowhere like that giant S that Superman threw in Superman 2. How about this: That alien race that Thor saves at the beginning of the movie show their gratitude by giving him an ancient artefact, some cosmic Fabergé egg or something. Then, in the big climactic battle, Thor uses the egg to temporarily give the kids superpowers so that they can fight back.

Should have taken a lesson from Black Panther The problem is that the gods are jerks and the movie barely acknowledges that it is a problem. One example of this is Rapu, he could have shared some of his fruits with Gorr who was starving right in front of him, but refused to do so. Another example is the other gods at Omnipotence City refusing to help Thor. The movie is more preoccupied with telling jokes. It is possible to both tell jokes and do a "We have done wrong and must change our ways like they did in Black Panther" story. How I would do it: Gorr`s death would be similar to Killmonger`s. He acknowledges that he has done wrong but also wishes that Thor and the other gods acknowledge the wrongs that they have done as well. Thor understands Gorr. Later: Thor returns to Omnipotence City, returns the Thunderbolt to Zeus but also gives a message to him and all the gods, that they must change their ways and not be so selfish. His words doesn`t really change the status quo though, as most of the gods are too full of pride and refuse to change their old ways. Thor then goes to Earth and uses his powers to make it rain in a country suffering from drought. He and Jane then travels to New Asgard and helps Jane get medical help from the Norns. Maybe Asgardian science can help her where Earth science can`t? Maybe. (Like I said: the Thor sequels are not kind to Jane Foster, did she really have to die?) And then he adopts and raises Gorr`s resurrected daughter.

Post-credit scene: Hercules, angered by Thor`s behavior swears that next time they meet, he will fight him and win.

Antman and the Wasp: Quantummania Making Darren Cross M.O.D.O.K. I like M.O.D.O.K., he has a fun design, and I like that they brought back Darren Cross and found a good use for him. But turning him into M.O.D.O.K.? I would save M.O.D.O.K. for another movie and have his alter ego be Charles Tarleton (like in the comics). In this movie Darren Cross could be a cyborg and fly around in an updated, redesigned version of his Yellow Jacket suit.

And now for the bonus.

Falcon and the Wintersoldier Karli blowing up a building to "send a message" I haven`t actually seen the series but I have seen videos on youtube that summarises what happens. It would be better if the Flag Smashers were a more morally grey organization that (at first) do not do terrorist stuff. They can start as some kind of Robin Hood-type group. Karli could have a right-hand man by her side (Let`s call him Guy Person for now, yes, lazy name, I know.) who tells her that they need to "strike harder" to "send a message". (He`s even secretly training some of the members in terrorist methods.) At one point Karli starts to consider taking his advice but then Sam Wilson tries to talk to her. He understands what the Flag Smashers are doing and he believes in a peaceful solution. But then John Walker shows up and kills Karli. Guy takes over the power vacuum and changes the Flag Smashers` M.O. from a Robin Hood-like organization to a terrorist one. And so Sam Wilson and Bucky has to stop them.

Why do I write these? For several reasons. I`m nitpicky, sometimes the movies I criticize aren`t bad, I just like my own ideas better, sometimes the movies I critize are bad, I care about good storytelling (mostly) and it`s a fun excerize in creativity and script doctoring. But also because I have a lot of of free time and very little social life. *Sigh*

I can`t believe that I haven`t used Loki`s "Glorious purpose" line in one of my spoiler warnings until now.

------------------------------------------------------ Written stuff: 51

Started writing this: 2023-06-17

2024-10-06: Changed my rewrite of Morbius to turn it into a Blade movie instead of a Spider-Man movie.

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

Burton`s Batman Schumacher`s Batman Supergirl (1984) Jonah Hex (2010) Dragonball evolution The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

[dragonageconfessions]

CONFESSION:

As a guy I'd like some better hairstyles too instead a multitude of bald choices, the ones that make my character look like Cletus or the wispy one that looks better on females and makes males look like a boy band reject            

[redladydeath]

And then it was revealed that this whole arc was actually just an in-universe fan fic written by Cletus while he was bored in jail

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Ok, This Trailer Demonstrates Why We All Are Fred Up!!!

Again token mention of business while focusing on the damn forced relationship drama. And again we have poor pity the damn sad bird crap, while vilifying the guy he forced into a relationship with. Again if I was still in the fandom I would eat up this bs, but now I have seen what a hack Vivziepop and her crew is I say you can't pull the wool over my eyes because again your tricks can work on someone who has grown keen to the bs. And again Stolas seems like he would be treated like Verosicka who was rightfully pointed out as wronged by Blitzo when in reality most of the issues with the relationship came with him. Stolas, you and her are not the same so stop it with I am the real victim bs. And again they are going again with the Octavia being shat on because again these people have no originality and again she is going to be demonized for not being on board because again everything Stolas does matters more than anyone else even his daughter's wellbeing.

[shurisneakers]

venom 2 was one of the best movies i have ever seen in my life ever. yes i will elaborate. venom and eddie are BOYFRIENDS and they have the most fucked up relationship in the WORLD and everyone just runs with it. eddie hits venom in the teeth and there is the most cartoonish glass shattering sound effect i have ever heard. the PETTINESS venom exudes the entire movie. "I am coming out of the Eddie closet" fucking TERRIFIC you gay hentai tentacle alien. no one in this movie is taking anything seriously and you can see it because the performances are so fucking WHACK. andy serkis is directing. what the fuck. amazing. i am not a monster fucker but in spirit i saw venoms thighs and forgot where i was for 10 seconds. my mother was right next to me how can i explain THAT to her that i suddenly understood The Feeling. cletus kasady straight up bites a guy because venom went into boyfriend mode. the doctor lobster dan is just there. token boyfriend.

what a fucking fantastic movie. this is what films were made for. no i will not take criticism because you cannot give me any. i saw god in that cinema theatre when that sentient squid ink told his bf that he loves him. venom has domesticated CHICKENS. thank you mr venom hardy i want to kiss you on the MOUTH

[tonkysexist]

“I’m sorry I cannot mend your heart”

JUST THAT RIGHT THERE. Whenever critics of Venom accuse it of being a plotless “p0rn tentacle fest” they miss the raw emotional power of this relationship. Eddie is inherently flawed and incomplete. So is Venom. They compliment each other, not just physically but psychologically as well. Cletus and Carnage were physically compatible BUT they could never connect on that same innate emotional level. They merely saw each other as means to an end.

This theory proves itself outside of Carnage and Symbrock. Venom was unable to hold on to hosts for very long because they were physically incompatible and strangers. Mrs. Chen and Anne were able to hold on much longer and survive because they both cared about Eddie and Venom enough to do so.

Eddie and Venom compliment each other. Eddie said it best when he explained his Don Quixote analogy. Eddie and Venom have different ideas and approaches, but they care enough about each other’s to set that aside. Venom and Eddie were both able to get over their own pride when they realized how much they not only needed each other but wanted each other. Which is where that line really hits. Venom said “WE are hurt.” The first movie was about two beings who needed the other to survive, this movie is about them learning how they are able to thrive together. It brings me so much joy I can’t even begin to explain it (despite my attempts here lol).

[kirbyluvr63]

just watched venom 2 and i have a theory...

everybody treats venom and eddie like a couple, the "coming out and not being a secret" speach etc etc. BUT to me the cherry on top is: when venom fights carnage he too treats cletus and carnage like a couple ("merital problems already?" or something like that), but they didn't achieve symbiosis, they werent compatible bc cletus was already in love and in a relationship with shriek and *only* her

what are you trying to say, you ask, well: the symbiote can only achieve symbiosis with its host if they're in a maybe romantic, definitely sexual relationship.

i AM NOT taking criticism, thanks

[driftwoodcryptid]

i saw venom let there be carnage today and hoooooboy i loved it so much. it definitely wasn’t made to pander to critics (hence why critic scores are so bad lmao), but it certainly gave the fans what they wanted!! venom and eddie are literally so married it’s insane. this movie was made for the monster fuckers istg, not even just with symbrock content but with carnage/cletus and frances. the whole plot was just a break-up-and-get-back-together romcom. also anne is engaged to dan and she literally told venom to take care of eddie, like she was handing him off to his new boyfriend agsjdjf. and the club scene was just venom coming out like three times in a row. and to top it all off, venom indirectly tells eddie he loves him at the end ashdjfkf (and only like kinda indirectly bc eddie addresses it). anyways good movie I recommend it and I will not be shutting up about it for a while

[askthekuvaqbrothers]

What does Toni think about Argus, Cletus and especially Rufus right now?

“I must thank you again for all your help.”

“Please, think nothing of it. I'm just glad I could be of some assistance.”

Burnert laughed, "Modesty is all well and good, but you could learn to take a compliment.”

Hermes sheepishly scratched his neck. Setting up suitable storage for explosives and flammable material had been critical for Elysium's development, so doing on it a small scale for a store was a breeze. With the new system in place, sorting and moving the volatile material from the store would be much safer.

While brushing himself off, a flicker of movement caught his eye, where it followed to a small shape that had darted behind Burnert.

“Oh, look who’s come to say hello.”

“Who might this be?”

“My sweet little daughter. Go on, introduce yourself.”

Burnet gave a little push to her back, and Hermes knelt as not to be so imposing,offering his warmest smile. After a moment of shuffling her feet, the little girl stepped out from behind her fathers legs, looking up from under a fringe of orange curls.

“My name is Toni. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Such good manners. It’s very nice to meet you too Toni. My name is Hermes.”

She grabbed back onto her father's leg, but smiled and continued watching him.

“You know, I think my boys would be around the same ages as you.”

“Would they be the three tiny terrors the town has been gossiping about?”

He suppressed a sigh, already well aware of the rumors that permeated the area. He’d been trying to keep them indoors and away from the public while they were still adjusting to their growth, but curiosity was a nigh unstoppable force.

“They are… as troublesome as children can be.”

“I’m just joking with you. Hey, why don’t you bring them around for lunch tomorrow? Toni doesn’t mind a bit of dirt, I’m sure they’d enjoy new company. It’ll be a play date!”

Hermes righted himself, slowly in care of his poor back, and put a hand to his chin. Maybe it was time to go outside their comfort zone, socialise beyond shopping and work. This could be good for them.

"Sure, we'll come by at midday."

-------------

Carefully twisting the pot in hand, Toni felt her smile begin to stretch her cheeks. After weeks and weeks of love and care, the little cactus shoot had flowered into a burst of bright pink. It was her biggest gardening achievement so far, and her parents would be thrilled to see something so pretty in this grubby town-

Something struck her in the back, causing her grip to slip, sending the little plant tumbling to the ground. The pot shattered on impact, and the cactus rolled free from its dirt, squashing its new petals. After a moment to register what just happened, she spun to look at the filthy plant murderer.

"Uh, hello?"

A small boy was the criminal, with a mess of red hair and a blindingly orange shirt. He had a piece of pipe in hand and a kind of blank look on his face, like he wasn’t aware of the offence he had committed.

“You-!”

“Me? Oh! Me!” His whole face lit up with a grin, “I’m Rufus!”

He grabbed her hand and shook it with voracity, still proudly swinging the pipe awfully close to her other plants

“Ruuufus! Ruuufus! Brave and strong, fighting eeeeevil! He’s so cool! He’s so cool! He’s Ruuuufus!”

Another pot was sent crashing to the ground, snapping Toni out of her confused trance. Her anger returned, so she grabbed the boy in a headlock.

“That’s it, now you’re gonna get it!”

“Gah! C-captured!” He squirmed in her hold, “Ahrg, and with the strength of a dragon-!”

“What are you doing?”

Toni shook aside her hair to get a look at the other new arrivals. Two other boys had wandered closer, one with blue hair with a toy sword raised defensively, and the one with green hair tucked in a cloak. They both had the same face as the criminal in her arms.

“Are you two here to murder my plants too?!”

The cloaked one looked at her like she was crazy, “Hu, murder? What are you talking about? We’re just here for the idiot.”

The armed one nodded, “You better drop him, now.”

“Not before he apologises for breaking my stuff.”

The sword lowered, “Rufus…”

“I didn’t do anything, Argus! I just introduced myself.”

“Then why are there broken bits on the ground?”

“They were… there when I got here.”

Toni tightened her grip, “I saw you do it, murderer.”

The green haired boy sighed, “So dramatic. Look, if you pick them up and put them back in the dirt they should be fi-”

“Myhe myeh I’m Cletus and I think I’m sooooo smart. If oooonly my words didn’t put people to sleep.”

“...that’s it, Argus give me the sword. Girl, drop him.”

“What? But he-” She grumbled, “Oh I’ll drop him.”

Toni adjusted her grip, grabbing Rufus under the arms, before pivoting to spin with all her might. He was small enough to be dragged along with her motion, before letting him fly at the other two. When they collided, she pounced, tackling the boys to the ground in an all out tussle.

It was only a few minutes later that Hermes came across the scene. He’d been frantically searching since losing track of the boys as they crossed town, but the sound of laughter and shouting had drawn him over towards Burnert’s home. There, he’d found a pile of limbs that made up four children, and a mess of broken plant pots and dirt surrounding them. He hesitated, unsure if he should try to break up the fight, just as Burnet came up beside him

“Well would you look at that, friends already!”

Toni was atop the pile, laughing triumphantly, while Rufus also laughed along as he rubbed Cletus’ face into the dirt, who was in turn kicking Argus who was trapped at the bottom.

“Are you sure?”

Burnert patted him on the back, smiling wide.

“Kids have their own language, and it’s not guaranteed you’ll learn it, but with smiles like those, I bet this’ll friendship to last a lifetime.”