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urf1lterr · 1 year

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lovesick | pedro pascal [4]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

previous chapter: [3] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 10.6k

status: in progress

author's note: so sorry for the long wait! but i tried making this chapter longggg. i typically have my days off altogether and the rest of the week booked with work/school. i try to post many chapters within my short timeframe (bc im booked af) so pls expect another update soon after this one! sadly, it takes me around 8-10 hours to write one bc its hard to think lol. also, i don't want this to be too long of a series and kinda wanna connect the dots- slowly but surely, ya know? not edited.

"So, he just came knocking on your door at 6am?" Joon questioned, taking a sip of his smoothie soon afterwards. "I can't even wake up that early."

"We had to do that everyday for our last job."

"I woke up ten minutes before I had to be out the door," he shrugged. "Men get ready fast."

"Anyway," you eyed him as he cluelessly did the same, confused as to why you wouldn't look away. "I don't remember him coming."

"Yeah, because you fucking freaked out and hallucinated over Lady Gaga," Jules exclaimed, you automatically cringing just at the horrible memories you've recently faced with that damn cat.

Once she explained what had happened hours after you had woken up, you were disturbingly shocked.

And the fact that your sleepiness was to blame had you going insane- imagine all the other odd things you may had committed while under the covers.

But you will admit you did remember some of that night's events clearly, again like you practically making out with Lady Gaga- although she was the one who licked your face endlessly first.

Mortified just by the thoughts, you will never be able to face Pedro again sanely.

How could you when you recently dreamed about a man 25 years older being intimate with you- that's...confusing. And the worst part of it all was you couldn't say anything to anyone with the fear of being judged or laughed at- maybe both.

The thing was you couldn't quite understand why you had to dream about that. Maybe your time of the month was coming and your hormones targeted the first guy you had nonstop contact with?

No, that would've been Joon.

Attraction may had played a part but Joon definitely had that, Pedro as well but a little different...age-wise at least. There's no way you felt allured for men with bad jokes and rough skin- no offense. Right?

He did text you that same morning he dropped by and commented on how creepy you are half asleep and whether or not you agreed to his 'business' proposal. Not trying to start a conversation you knew you couldn't finish, out of second-hand shame, you just replied a simple:

LOL but busy with school atm to make a final decision- tell ya later

That later still hasn't arrived.

Unfortunately, you forgot to ask him why he made a random visit that morning- but you weren't going to ask him days later. In your mind, you need to avoid him. There's no way you'd be able to act normal after have unholy fascinations about him.

Not that it'll be a problem, you two hadn't seen each other for weeks before your cafe encounter, you're sure you can do it again without him noticing your distance.

It's been about two days since then which meant you didn't have to prioritize so much of your time on homework, you'll just save that for Sunday when it's all due.

"Did you bother to ask him why?" Jules added, turning to you. "He obviously wasn't coming to see me- I barely know the guy."

"You do know him!" you argue as she rolls her eyes. "You literally got mad at me for not recognizing him the first time we met."

"He's a celebrity- everybody knows him," she defends before tilting her head in curiosity. "But you two are oddly close, it's kind of weird."

"No," you shake your head, trying to laugh off her suspicions. "We are casual friends who fan girl over the same things."

People did take notice how close Pedro and you were but it wasn't anybody's fault you two had so much in common. Both of you loved Starbucks, going on hikes- when you weren't lazy, and believe Matt Healy is extremely attractive.

If they have a problem with that they can sue you.

"I see it," Joon adds, jumping up a bit. "Him and I barely talk and we're men- we should be bonding easily!"

"You're...you," Jules cringes, making Joon glare in return. "I can understand why he chooses not to be close to you."

Laughing, you watch as Joon quickly flips her the finger before he continues on with the conversation. "I just feel like he always comes around only to see you, it was pretty obvious since the first time he took us home."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you didn't understand what he meant by that. Pedro offered all three of you a ride home, not just you.

Already feeling done with this topic, you wanted to switch it before things started escalating and freaky theories started unfolding. They had every right to question your friendship, but you were starting to think they might be leading down a road where they may soon develop other impressions as to what your friendship might have been.

Why are you even thinking that? That's so inappropriate to imagine.

"You two are silly, he probably needed my advice on something or wanted to workout," you suggest, their faces showing they weren't fully convinced. "But anywho, did you call Yoongi yet?"

"I don't think that's a great idea," Joon declared, adjusting in your warm sofa. "He's not really a skating kind of guy."

Since it was Friday and you had no plans, you thought it would be a fun idea to be adventurous for once and do something you would never do on a regular basis.

Ice Skate.

Your friends were extremely down with the idea, but you needed a fourth person to make the group complete. Why not a skinny, impatient blonde man who would probably spend the whole night complaining about why this plan was awful?

Right now you could use some other grumpiness in your life.

"Just tell him to go," you beam back, clapping your hands in excitement as you'll soon be able to fall countless of times on the ice. "I'll buy him hot cocoa."

"You better do it or he'll never let that go," Joon states.

After hours of sitting around and blasting random music through your speakers, the three of you were ready to set off on your journey of locating the ice rink.

If it wasn't for Joon's constant whining to stop walking to take pictures of the scenery you probably would've arrived 15 minutes sooner than your actual arrival, but too bad your friend is a nature freak.

"You taking pictures of the pigeons better not be the reason why you're late," you heard Yoongi grumble as the three of you finally found him sitting on a bench near the entrance of the rink, staring directly at Joon who just scoffed.

"I'm sorry if my happiness bothers you," Joon snapped back as Yoongi just stood up from his seat and made his way to your trio.

Grabbing your ice skates wasn't too difficult as the long line seemed to flow by smoothly, but standing on them was a different story.

"I can't do this," you squeal as your hurriedly motion your arms around to find some balance. "I'm falling!"

Yoongi sent you a questionable look as he watched your poor attempts to stay still embarrassing. "We're not even on the ice yet."

Feeling a hand grab a hold on your shoulders and practically drag your feet towards the ice, you glance up to see Jules steadily directing you to face your fears.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Are you going to push her in?!" you hear Joon gasp a few feet behind you but you couldn't turn your head as you rather focused your attention on yanking yourself off of Jules.

"It was her idea so she'll be the one going in first."

"Ahh!" you screech, putting all your pressure on your feet to stop her hard pull. Spiraling your ankles in the most crucial ways, you start to lightly slap her arms off you as she continues to fight them off.

One thing about her was she's going to make sure to remind you that this was your idea.

Feeling an arm gently tug you off her grip, you landed on Yoongi's side as Jules whined in return, offended that he ruined her vicious plan. Respectfully, he kept you stable with an arm wrapped behind your middle back as you gripped his other one, fearful she might snatch you away again.

"Why would you do that?!"

"I don't think watching her fall face first on the hard ice would be a fun sight to see," he bluntly returned as Jules huffed. "The sight of blood gives me the ick."

"I was waiting for that moment all afternoon," Jules sighed, disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing you fall- yet.

Waiting for her to walk away to go on the ice, you see Joon follow her before you released your friend, relieved that she wouldn't be partaking in her scandalous scheme just yet.

"You do know how to skate, right?" Yoongi asked, his uncertain eyes on yours as you crazily wave your arms in front of him to rub off his questionable thoughts.

"Do I? Of course I do!" you argue, making your way towards the ice until you were two feet away from it. Putting your feet on the edge, you hesitate as you could feel the cold breeze wrap around you legs. "I'm gonna go now."

"Yippy," he states, waiting at your poor attempts to convince him.

Giving him a thumbs up, you clap your hands together to try to reassure yourself that you could do this, forgetting that he was right behind you secretly laughing.

Taking one final breath, you placed your right foot on top of the ice steadily, trying your best not to make any harsh movements, until you felt a hard jerk on your upper body, making you lose yourself in an instant.

"God, if you don't know how to skate why would you suggest it?" Yoongi grumbled, gliding both your bodies along the ice as he held tightly onto your arms. You were practically skating like a wet dog in front of him, begging with your eyes for him not to abandon you.

"I always wanted to try."

Sending you an annoyed look, you zipped your mouth as his arms were now securing you, closing any gaps there may have been and giving you the ride of your life.

Shutting your eyes harshly, you didn't dare to witness the environment around as you felt the icy wind slap your face the faster you two- or at least by Yoongi's swaying, got.

There were times where he did pretend to lose his balance, causing you to cry in horror and him immediately placing his hand over your mouth by how loud you weaped.

But other than that, you came to enjoy his help as your two other friends rudely abandoned you guys in order to practice their poor attempts of leaping across the rink.

"Okay," Yoongi started, releasing his left hand from your side and keeping you close with only his other. "Now you try on your own."

Fear creeping up in your face, you rapidly shake your head in disagreement and try catching his recent abandoned arm, which he denied. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?" he countered back making you silent.

He did have a point.

"C'mon, it's not that hard. If Joon could do it, you can."

"He's literally on the ground right now," you whine as Yoongi quickly averts his eyes in search of your tall friend, soon finding Joon clutching his knee in pain as Jules records on her phone.

"No."

Sighing, he continues to look around, trying to plan out an idea that would at least convince you to slide a few feet alone without his help until he smirked and met your eyes.

"What would Matt Healy do?"

Widening your eyes, you were taken back by his question.

Only Pedro used that line on you.

And for some reason it felt odd when Yoongi did the same. You shouldn't be bothered by his choice of words...but you were a little.

He wasn't him to be saying it.

"He wouldn't force me to do something I didn't want to do," you reply back, causing him to groan.

"I feel like you just want to be in my arms," he retorted with a grin, immediately making you revolt and fly out of his arms, your bottom hitting the ice hard. "Well that's one way to make you skate."

Feeling immediate pain on the back of your thighs, you just knew you were going to be bruised and swollen the next day. But hey, this technically counts for your workout for the week.

Awkwardly swaying your body around, you couldn't get up off the damn ice. You were sure you looked like a fish out of water by how crazy you were moving.

"Get on your knees," Yoongi commented, causing you to send him a death glare as he lifted his hands up in defense. "It helps you stand."

Or he could just grab your arms and help you himself.

Cautiously following his suggestion, you slowly pull your right leg up and place it firmly on the ice before slowly trying to do so with your left one. As you began to feel satisfied with the weight being supported, you felt your body finally working and lifting up off the ground before he poked your shoulder- making you fall again.

"I'm going to murder you!" you threaten as you stare at him on your back, whole body restlessly laying on the ground in misery as he cackles loudly.

He may have advantage on the ice, but oh man- once you regain your balance off it you were going to end that slender man's life.

"Isn't this just a sight to see," you heard someone exclaim before hands grab your arms and soon lift you back on your feet.

Moving your eyes to the ones in front of you, you burst out in smiles. "Bella! Nico!"

"I take this as my queue to leave,'" you hear Yoongi mumbles but you swiftly grab his arm from his close proximity and halt his plans.

He was not going to desert you now.

"What are you girls doing here?"

Not seeing them for a few weeks didn't make things awkward, but different. It was like catching up with old friends, even though you barely met them less than three months ago.

"Had nothing to do tonight so why not ice skate?" Nico giggled.

Bella examined you up and down before pointing at your head. "My god, your hair grew so long. Has it really been that long?"

Rolling your eyes, you were about to answer her before Yoongi cut in. "No, it's her fake extenstions."

Gasping, you turn your body to him and smack his shoulder as he smacks you back. One thing about him, he's all about equality. You touch him, he touches you- simple.

You don't see the way Nico and Bella exchange smirks to one another before Nico slides in front of you and pulls out her phone. "We should take a selfie! You know, for memories."

Laughing, you agree. You took some pictures with them but never really out of the work environment.

Uncomfortably standing still, Yoongi hastily moves to the side a bit, not wanting to intrude this moment you were having with your friends. He was a pretty sociable person, but only if they had things in common and he fairly knew them.

Yoongi didn't know these two young girls and he sure as hell didn't want to be the one being kicked out of this picture- so why not kick himself out first?

"Where are you going, we need your long arm to get us all in the frame!" Bella exclaimed, motioning Yoongi to move back as he sent her a flustered glance.

"I can just take it with the three of you."

"Nonsense!" Nico argued back, shaking her head as you giggled. "We don't leave people out."

Biting his bottom lip a bit, he scratches the back of his neck swiftly before increasing the speed of his skates to the girl, accepting her phone. "I suppose."

Fixing your posture, you stand behind your friend as he carefully raises his right arm up in the air, positioning the phone that was able to capture all four of you in the frame.

Pulling out the gummiest smile, you bursted out a gigantic grin after seeing the rare radiant expression Yoongi was giving. He was never one to show much emotion so finding him giving in for a picture amused you.

Taking the phone out of his hands, Bella examined the screen before chuckling. "Wow, you've got one adorable smile."

You could've sworn you saw Yoongi blush as he lowered his head while shaking off her compliment, trying to act natural but he wasn't fooling anyone.

He was shy.

Gasping at the sight in front of her, Nico pointed at the concession cart near one of the exits of the ice. "They have hot cocoa! We must get some."

Faking a groan, Bella allowed her friend to drag her away but not before sending you a pout to follow, which you were happy to do. You were freezing to death without even realizing it until you stopped your attempts to skate for the picture.

"I was promised a free cup," Yoongi stated as he was gliding behind you, softly pushing your back as you proceeded to do nothing but allow him to direct you to where your desired hot cocoa was.

Scoffing a little, you shush him as you reached the exit ramp. Jumping off, the two of you slowly waddled to Bella and Nico who were next in line.

"Wait," you start, pausing your footsteps which resulted in him almost falling after slamming to your side. "Shouldn't we ask Joon and Jules if they want one?"

Peeking over your shoulder, Yoongi looks back down to you. "Nah, don't wanna ruin their fun."

Following his recent glance, you could see Joon and Jules in front of one another, both holding hands as they try to catch a faster pace while twirling in big circles.

You were sure they were eventually going to knock a small child over soon.

"Next," you hear the worker call out, sitting behind his register waiting for your arrival.

Quickly walking up, you place your order as nothing else but the hot drinks seemed to interest you. The total came out to be the cost as what four drinks at your local cafe would be, but you shouldn't be surprised since this place was pretty popular to the public.

Pulling out his wallet so fast, you didn't have to process what Yoongi was doing until you caught the view of his credit card as he handed it over to the man in front of you.

"No-" you try intercepting what had just happened by giving your card to the worker who just shrugged as he had already paid for the drinks on Yoongi's card. "Why would you do that?"

"You're too slow," Yoongi bluntly said as he grabbed the two drinks and moved to the side so the next person in line could place their order.

"But it hadn't even been three seconds since he said the total before you handed him the card," you protest.

He handed you your cup, hoping it'll shut you up as he took a small sip from his own. "And?"

Is he being serious? "'And,'" you question as he continued to be unaware as to what you were getting at. "Since the beginning I vowed to buy you hot cocoa."

Yoongi laughed at how stubborn you were becoming. "Vowed? What a great word choice for this scenario, fiance."

Rolling your eyes at his teasing, you hated the fact he was avoiding your question. You knew he did it because he wanted to be a gentleman, but the problem was he didn't want to admit he was one.

Again, he was being shy.

"I see you are kind," you smirk as he gave you a disgusted glance. "Don't worry, I won't tell people you have a heart."

Before he could leave a snarky comeback, Nico and Bella came back in giggles as Yoongi retreated back to his natural state of looking lifeless. "Oh my gosh- we went to get napkins and I kid you not I may have poured my drink on the back of this poor little girl."

Lightly gasping, you widen your eyes as Yoongi confusingly replies back. "May have? You don't know if you did or not?"

Bella makes an accountable face, scrunching her nose in the process. "Okay, I did. But she's the one who ran into me!"

"Well, she was really small and you kind of didn't search your surroundings before kneeing her," Nico exposed, causing Yoongi and you to give each other a concerned look.

"You kneed her?!"

"Only in her side," Bella excused herself, sending Nico a betrayed look. "It wasn't like it was her stomach."

"It practically was...," Nico mumbled but became silent when her co-star eyed her hard.

Coughing uncomfortably, Yoongi caught everyone's attention as he tried to avert the conversation into something that wasn't as horrific as striking a child with hot cocoa and a knee. "We should probably hit the ice again soon before Jules and Joon find out we got these drinks without them."

"Jules is here?!" Bella beamed, searching around for her through the large gatherings of people on the ice. "I missed that crazy lady, she was the only one who would get my coffee order right."

"She told me she would threaten to get the baristas fired if they kept getting it wrong," Nico recalled, chewing her mouth a little. "That's why I stopped letting her take my orders."

Sighing, you looked up in the ceiling in disapproval as you could feel Yoongi laughing his ass off beside you. That was very Jules of her to do.

After another two hours of trying to figure out how to skate, and basically latching onto Yoongi the whole time as Bella and Nico were doing laps around you guys, you finally made it home.

To say you were exhausted would be an understatement- you were drained.

No, seriously. You hadn't worked out this much since Jules and you almost missed the subway two months ago and had to run three blocks to catch it on time.

That day was dreadful, but you were sure if you went to bed you were going to wake up lifeless like a worm.

"I call the shower first!" you hear Jules scream, running to her room in order to grab her belongings but you were faster and instantly made your way to the bathroom, locking the door before she could break in. "You bitch! How dare you steal it with my back turned!"

Grinning evilly to yourself, you wanted to get your night routines over with so you could hit the pillows quickly. Even after taking off all your makeup, taking a very steamy shower, and doing your nightly skin care routine, you were sure you could easily knock out sitting on the toilet if you had the chance.

We all have done it once in our lives.

Opening the door, the steam flows out smoothly as you face your very displeased roommate on the other side, glaring at you. "All yours," you smile, stepping to the side but she roughly pushes you in response, causing you to yelp as you manage to catch your balance midway.

Mental note, burn her eggs next breakfast.

Stepping into your room, you change into an oversized hoodie and sweats before throwing yourself under your covers in excitement.

The moment you've been waiting for all day: sleep.

Closing your eyes, you feel all your senses slowly drifting away from your body as relaxation crept up from all around. It was truly intoxicating how in trance you were.

But of course with your luck, nothing goes as planned- ever.

Wildly jumping up from the loud blaring of your phone, you cover your face in agony as the vibrations and noise cause pain throughout your entire body.

Who the hell was calling you at 10 o'clock at night? This should be illegal.

After taking a minute to control yourself, the ringing stopped. Good, now you won't have to make time to engage in a conversation. Quickly falling back down onto your pillows, it wasn't even ten seconds later before you feel your phone going off like crazy again.

With you eyes shut, you move your hands around your bed until you feel the cool object underneath your pillow. Lazily pressing any button, without batting one eye open, you move the phone to your ear before releasing a groggy, "What?"

"What a lovely way to greet somebody, kiddo."

You instantly freeze, automatically thinking about the vivid dream you had about him, then Lady Gaga, and felt a blush creeping in.

Slowly pulling the phone away, you let out a loud but fast scream before moving it back. How the hell are you going to begin a conversation without thinking about his lips on yours. "What do you want?"

Pausing for a second, you can hear him move around through his end. "Did you just scream?"

It's not like you didn't just dream about him kissing all over your body two nights ago.

"Did you just wake me up to ask me the obvious answer?"

Act like you don't care. Like you are perfectly fine.

He chuckles lightly and you can tell by his tone he was close to passing out too. "Somebody's cranky, is it past your bedtime?" Pedro teased.

You were definitely not in the mood to handle his ridicules at this hour, especially by how nervous he was slowly making you. What did he want?

"Yes," you simply reply before hitting the red button, ending the call and laying your head back on your pillow. Good, just end it before you make a bigger fool out of yourself.

It hadn't even been another ten seconds before your phone was ringing once again. Pulling it up to your face, you let out a huff. What a shocker, it was him again.

"You better have an insanely good reason as to why you chose to wake me up in the middle of my dream," you immediately say as you press the 'accept' button.

Hearing him laugh, you just know he has a sarcastic comment coming any second. "Wake you up? Honey, you're still living your dream talking to me."

Honey.

No, not another nickname for him to call you in future dreams.

Shaking that thought away, you rejected the idea of him being in any more dreams- you forbid it.

Loss at words for a second, you almost let your next words trip over one another before calmly gaining your composure at the incidental choice of your pet name.

"So funny," you reply back, trying your best to sound sane. "Pretty sure I was dreaming of a very shirtless Matt Healy playing 'Please Be Naked' to me."

Why the fuck would you slip that out.

"Are you trying to hint at something?" he smirks, making you press mute and hold your hand over your mouth to hold back the screams you feared would release.

Feeling like your soul was about to leave your body, you couldn't believe he just said that.

Actually, you couldn't believe you would even recommend that song. God, your sleepiness was messing with your mind.

Finding your energy once again, you unmute the call and try to seem unfazed by his last comment. "Yes, that I want to sleep. Goodbye now."

Before you could hit the red button again, you could hear him chanting over the phone to do the exact opposite. "Don't!"

Groaning, you clutch the phone harder in despair. "I am so tired. Don't do this to me, please. I am a girl who values her sleep!" you whine as you hear him continue his light giggles in the background. "If I don't sleep I will die, is this what you want. Are you trying to kill me?"

"I can reassure you I don't plan on keeping you up long," he explains. "And I wouldn't dare wish for your death."

Your heart fluttering, you glare at your chest. "Then what do you want?"

Moving his phone from one ear to the other, he lays in his bed while smiling at his ceiling. "You," he declares, making you widen your eyes as he shuffles around in his blanket. "Tomorrow, let's hang out."

Sitting up against your bed frame, you furrow your brow. "Hang out? For what?" There's no way you will be able to act normal for a long period of time, your weak-self can't do it.

Placing a hand over his chest, he lets out a light hiss in fake hurt by your comeback before continuing. "Can't I hang out with you by choice and not by a work schedule? Unless you're so disgusted by me." That's when he started his fake cries. "I'm so sorry I am not Matt Healy and can't do a great British accent."

Shaking your head, you try to intervene as his ugly cries become louder through the line. "That's not what I meant, stop being dramatic," you complain as he instantly stops while smiling widely. "Is there a specific reason why you want to hang out?"

Taking a deep breath, he fiddles with the fingers on his non-occupied hand. "Does there need to be a reason?"

You pause for a second. He's acting too kind for your liking and it's making you question what his intentions are. In this point of time, you're sure he's going to take that moment to convince you to work with him in Canada.

"With you there's always a reason."

Scoffing lightly, he grumbles. "I just want to go on a hike and need a hiking partner."

Oh hell no, you already did enough working out this evening. You were not about to do that again, that's for sure.

"Yeah, nooo," you exhale lowly. "I already did too much working out with my body if you know what I mean and-"

"I don't know what that means," he cuts you off.

"It means I am going to be sore for days so my body has no strength to walk for more than five minutes," you declare as he falls silent.

After a few seconds that felt like forever, he replies. "Fine," he blankly states. "Have a goodnight, sweetheart."

The warmth as blood began drawing to your face became present as you quickly reply with a simple "night" before ending the call. And for some reason you felt as if you couldn't breathe normally by the pounding on your chest.

What the hell was happening to you. Looking up at the ceiling, you silently pray you don't have a Lady Gaga 2.0 fiasco.

As you were questioning why your heart made you feel as if you were going under cardiac arrest the night before, your body was currently making you feel if you really needed to make that trip to the ER by how tender you were.

It also didn't help that Jules was the one waking you up at the crack of dawn, half asleep with her eye mask clinging onto her forehead.

"W-why are you-" you grumble, rubbing your eyes as you look at the alarm clock near your bedside. "-waking me up at 6:18am? It's Saturday."

She sent you a death glare for assuming she randomly wanted to wake you up for the fun of it as she was the one who was woken up first. "Someone's here for you."

Positioning your body upwards, you squint your eyes up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you take a look for yourself," she gritted her teeth, swaying her head towards your door.

Slowly standing up, you make your way to it before sneaking a peak of the view of your living room. That's when you see a very annoying man you were sure you both agreed on the phone last night to not go hiking.

Luckily, he didn't notice your wandering eyes as his were glued to his phone, scrolling through his social media.

What was he doing here? You can't face him without thinking about his body wrapped around yours and his lips doing dangerous things.

Oh no, you truly were screwed.

Lightly shutting your door, you nervously turn back to your roommate who looks displeased. "I told him no."

"No means yes, I guess," she replies, snaking her arms around her body for warmth. "I'm going back to bed."

You could hear her walk out of your room as you frantically begin searching for something warm yet comfortable clothes to wear on this undesired hike. You knew if you tried backing out he would stay until you caved, he was very persistent to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was for you to get your ass up and exercise.

You were also certain you heard Jules let out a "thanks for the invite" to him before hearing her bedroom door shut.

Running out of your room, you made sure not to look in his direction so he wouldn't see your morning appearance clearly- well he already has but why reveal yourself in this state again?

Quickly brushing your hair, teeth, and washing your face, you change into a baggy green sweatshirt and some black workout leggings before slipping on suited running shoes.

Try to act natural. Give him little attention so he won't speculate anything. You aren't into old men and did not vision him smooching you on your sofa.

"You are so buying me breakfast," you deadpan as you walked straight out of your door, not even daring to wait for him to follow.

Good, be straightforward.

Laughing to himself, Pedro promptly jumped off the couch and jogged after you once you shut the door on him and continued down the halls to the elevators.

Finally catching up, he barely made it through the elevator doors as they were closing to find you leaning against the corner, mad and tired. "Good morning to you, too."

You let out a small cry as you lay your head against the wall in pain from how frustratingly exhausted you were. If one cold breeze hit you outside you were sure you were going to burst into tears.

"Oh, come one," he walks over to you and nudged your shoulder to wake up some more. If he unexpectedly touched you again you were sure you were going to rip his arm off. "In a few minutes you'll be wide awake and fine."

"How dare you assume I'm going to be fine!" you whine, trying to hit his side but he manages to capture your arm and that's when you give up and allow your worn out body to fall on him.

He instantly wraps his arms around you as your head falls just beneath his chin, your eyes slowly closing and your thoughts drifting away as his warmth was making you drowsy.

You tried to stay focus, but your poor state was taking over and you suddenly weren't as anxious as you once were. Being sleepy really made your mind roam.

"Hey, now," he whispers and looks down to see you snuggling up against him. "You can't fall asleep on me. I do not want your security guards thinking I drugged you."

Tightening your arms on how lower sides, you ignore him as you feel yourself easing closer to dozing off by the constant beating of his heart. "Stop," you mumble, clutching your ears softly before positioning your head on the other side of his chest.

"What?" he curiously glances down at you.

"You heartbeat's annoying me," you lightly whine. "It's pounding against my ears."

Pedro was extremely glad you were too tired to process his heartbeat and the bright red tint plastered across his face. Your drained-self definitely saved him from embarrassment.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and you still weren't moving. You were too comfortable to make any effort to walk on your own and if he really wanted you to hang out this morning then he was going to have to find a way to make you move.

And to him, dragging you was his best option yet. But with care.

Delicately keeping his arms secured around you, he gradually walked out with you still engulfed by him, eyes shut and only moving your feet with his pace.

Honestly, you were surprised how much rhythm you had.

Stopping to pull out his car keys, he unlocked his car and opened his passenger side door once you two reached the garage complex. Gently, laying you on the seat, you station you head against the headrest as he buckled you in. "God, I really hope security doesn't report me."

And once he made it to his side and hopped in, he laughed at the state you were in, head instantly bent to your side and legs tangled together in hope to create some kind of warmth. "Adorable."

But of course you were too dumb to not catch that.

You were awoken by a small speed bump and the instant hit of warmth through the heat vents, your eyes slowly glancing around your surroundings. Taking a quick peep at the screen indicating the time, you read that it was almost 7am.

Tilting your head and leaning against the headrest, you lazily stare at Pedro as he continues to drive to god knows where.

"Don't I look so handsome in the morning?" he jokes before meeting your eyes, sending you a warm grin.

And handsome on top of you.

Shutting your eyes tightly, you beg your imagination to please shut the fuck up.

"You mean drastic," you mutter, moving your head to the opposite side, against the window to force some sleep again.

Better to make time fly by faster knocking out where you were sure you wouldn't say anything stupid.

"Hey, no..." he whines, moving his right arm across to shake your chin softly to keep you conscious. "Don't pass out on me again, I'm lonely."

"And I'm tired, deal with it."

Shuffling in his seat, he looks over to see you curling yourself up in a ball with your legs to your knees and arms wrapped around. Not thinking things throughly, he hits the brakes hard for a split second and watches as your body jolts forward before swinging back against his seat.

"What the fuck!" you shriek, propping your body up and facing him in pure rage. "Are you trying to irritate me?!"

"I'm lonely and you're not helping," Pedro calmly states, shrugging as you continue your daggers his way.

You were beyond pissed. How could he think you would be energetic and talkative right now? How could he attempt to make you fly out the window? You could feel your nerves slowly fading away by the fury growing inside you.

If he wanted you awake then fine, you were going to be awake.

Doesn't mean you had to talk though.

Silently sitting up, you stare at the windshield in front of you and watch the cars drive as he continues to spare you a glance every once in a while.

Honestly, your silence was terrifying the fuck out of him. Normally, you would have some snarky comeback or violent punch to return to his evil tactics, but you were doing nothing.

Literally nothing.

And he knows damn well the sights of trees and cars did not interest you.

"Hey...," you feel Pedro lightly poke your side, pursing his lips once he saw your non-existent reaction. "You're not mad, right?"

Ignoring him, you continue your deep stare now onto more trees as you two were getting closer to nature than streets. You must've been out for some time as you barely noticed how far away from the city you really were.

Joon would really love this.

Gradually lifting his arm up, his places it on top of your own and gives it a small squeeze while laying it there. "C'mon, don't ignore me."

As if that would make you stop your scheme.

Blinking slowly, you acted like you paid no attention to his puppy dog pleads as the car was making its way towards an almost empty parking lot, all surrounded by a forest that only had one route starting within an old wooden bridge.

Pulling up to a nearby parking spot, Pedro parked the car before turning back to try and capture your attention but nothing was working.

You were so damn frustrating, it was infuriating. But he was still desperate to gain your attention.

"Are you just going to sit in here all day or what?" he questions as he waves a hand over your face to make you blink.

You didn't and that kind of frightened him. Work of the devil.

"I am going to cry," he warned, swatting his hand over his face to prepare for his fake tears.

Yet you showed no mercy. Sitting there patiently, you inhaled and exhaled softly, causing him to internally flip the fuck out because why were you being so aggravating when the two of you should be walking and pointing out the squirrels fighting over nuts.

And sadly, he was slowly giving up.

"Imagine if I really was crying," he began, offended you did not care one bit. "Really means a lot how unconcerned you are."

But when you suddenly started examining your nails and carefully picking at them is when he totally lost it.

Reaching over to you and moving his arm down your arm, he swiftly intertwined your fingers with his before moving you posture to face him.

His hand was huge.

"No, no-" he started, pulling a face as you gave him a blank stare back. Act natural. Pulling your shared hands in front of his chest, he sulks. "-please, for the love of whichever god you believe in, or if you're an atheist- for the love of you, please talk to me."

Watching him beg for forgiveness has always been funny in the past, but his pleading for attention now makes you feel bad.

"If you talk to me I will buy you breakfast and a very delicious milkshake that will make you extremely happy for the rest of the day," he continues, using his free left arm to wrap around you as his right one still clutches onto your palm.

He's so warm.

Pursing your lips a bit, you send him a skeptical glance. "Oreo shake with a lot of whipped cream?"

He instantly nods, a smile breaking out. "Of course, anything you want."

You look at the car's steering wheel before averting your eyes back to his. "And a red cherry?"

"I'll buy you a full jar of cherries if it makes you happy," he declares.

"And fries?"

Agreeing, he lets out a quick nod again. "With extra seasoning."

Biting your lip, you proceed to think about other stuff you may want with your milkshake and fries. "A burger?"

"My goodness, woman" he sighs, letting go of you and jumping out of the car before running around to your side and opening your door. "I'll buy you the whole menu, now let's go!"

With that, he vigorously yet cautiously pulls you out of your seat and throws you over his shoulders.

"Oh no!" you squeal, trying to find something to hold on to as he begins his journey, walking towards the bridge to start the hike. Grabbing a hold of his neck, you try not to choke him as you place your arm around it.

If you were going down, you were sure you were going to break his neck in the process. At least it would be a learning lesson for him.

"If you drop me I am never talking to you again," you threaten as he continues down a path.

"Said that before and just did it half the car ride here," he begins, moving his shoulder to give you a little fright of your life. "Now I just found out that all I have to do is buy you food and you'll yap again."

Glaring, you choke him a little to which he chuckles. "Didn't know you were into that."

Speechless, you couldn't believe his words. What the hell was he on this morning?

"Put me down!" you exclaim, immediately moving your body so he would lose his balance. Once he did so, you scowl as he ruffles your hair, making it tangle around. "Hey!"

"Can you stop being negative for a few minutes and enjoy the environment?" he asks, pulling his arms up to twirl around. "Just take in that fresh air mother nature gifted us."

Scrunching your nose, you frown. "It smells like rotten eggs."

"Because of the ducks," he pointed out before patting his pockets. "Which we will be feeding with the bread I brought."

Examining his pocket, you shoot him a curious glance. "How big are your pockets?"

"Not important," he states, grabbing your arms and dragging you along with him down the long trail. "What's important is finishing this trail to feel accomplished."

Pouting, you allowed him to drag you along as you miserably dreaded the next few hours to come. The energy you had to give off just for some damn breakfast.

Shame on you for loving food so much.

Encountering many frogs, lizards, and pigeons who loved flying right by both of your heads and scaring you to death, you had long forgotten about how anxious you were being around him. Being distracted constantly had you occupied which was a relief.

Eventually, you two finally found the drugs.

Or the ducks.

Walking by a huge pond, there were numerous amounts of ducks leaping around with their families following behind. It was really cute, but the smell wasn't.

"I wonder if they can choke on this?" Pedro muttered as he pulled out a large bread. Slowly nearing one medium-seized one in caution, he rips a piece apart and throws it. "It is kind of thick."

Taking a moment to check the bread out, you sigh. "Are you feeding these ducks bolillo bread?"

He pauses, not sure why you would care to ask. "Yes and?"

"They have thick crusts!" you exclaim. "And why not just feed them normal wheat bread?"

"Who even eats wheat? It's bland." he protests. "Plus, this is leftovers from my dinner last night."

"They're ducks! They don't care," you argue as he shakes his head.

"Just imagine if you were a duck," he began, making you huff in annoyance as you just knew he was going to say something ridiculous. "Wouldn't you love to eat this nice bolillo bread, maybe visualize a torta with some carnitas, onions, avocado, can't forget the refried bean-"

"The duck is choking!" you squeal and stare in fear as the poor duck starts to wheeze sharply.

Pedro's facial expressions drops as he sees the poor duck quacking in agony. Nervously rushing to its side, he looks up at you. "Do we pat its back? CPR? Call 911?!"

Pulling out your phone, you type away to find answers for your current problem. It was indeed true that you aren't supposed to feed ducks bread.

Especially thick Mexican ones.

"Give it mouth to mouth if you want chlamydia," you read aloud, causing Pedro to instantly leap away from the duck as it hastily begins to lay on the ground. "Wait, you get that from birds, not ducks. Silly me."

"Ducks are birds," he discloses, trying his best to softly pat the ducks back, finally giving it one powerful swat to help but instead the duck ends ups being thrown a few feet away by his force.

"Do I look like a fucking duck doctor?" you spit out, making him look up confused.

"You mean a veterarian."

Ignoring his last comment, you continue scrolling through more of google's suggestions, finally finding some information that may help. "You need to press down on its chest with 1-2 fingers or just give them water to drown it down."

Immediately grabbing the duck and placing it on its back, you worriedly watch over the duck from Pedro's shoulder as he works his fingers on the poor animal.

However, no luck was given as the duck was beginning to look weak and drowsy as pressure kept being projected on its chest. "We need water!"

Running towards the pond, you motion for Pedro to follow along with the duck as you look for a safe ramp to lead the duck onto. "Let's just lay him down near the water and splash him with it."

"He?" Pedro asks, stopping his movements. "But it looks like a she-"

"We are not arguing over its gender when its literally dying in your arms!" you exclaim, causing him to quickly nod and follow the ramp you found towards the water.

Gently, Pedro lowered his arms near the water with the poor duck taking over his hands. Trying to move the flow of water towards its face, he calls you over. "He's not accepting it, you need to scoop some up in your hand and pour it over his beak."

Rapidly nodding, you do as he says and take a handful and try not to spill it before gradually pouring it over the duck's beak. This water was not clean, but at least it was something. Nothing was happening until your third scoop once the duck began to actually swallow some of the water slowly.

"I-I think it's working! We did it!" Pedro cheered, trying to give you a high-five, failing incredibly as he somehow managed to lose his grip and dump the poor duck hard in the pond. "Oh shit!"

Squatting down, you try to reach for the duck as its face was buried underneath the water before Pedro's body slams into yours, causing you to fall into the dirty, cold pond.

The feeling of thick, muddy water overtakes your body as you lose all sight of air. Quickly moving your arms up and down, you rise back to the surface to find Pedro with his hands over his mouth and his jaw dropped.

He knew he wasn't going to hear the end of it.

"Fuck," he nervously muttered to himself before reaching out for you. "I am so so so sorry, the leaf made me slip AH!-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as you yanked his arm down with you, pulling with almighty to get him to land in the pond. The weight of the water going down with his body diving harshly against it, you knew he was completely soaked.

And probably pissed, but its okay. It's what he deserves.

Waiting for him to come up, he finally did so in seconds looking very unhappy. It made you delighted.

"You did that on purpose!"

Scoffing, you splash him and watch as he gasps harder. "You do a lot of things on purpose."

Using both hands to release bigger waves, he splashes you back. "Don't splash me!"

Growling, you slap his chest as he clutches your wrist afterwards. "You're so lucky I forgot my phone at home."

Gasping, you feel one of his hands fly underwater. "I didn't!" You hold in your giggles as he shuffles frantically before moving his gaze back up. "Wait, I never removed it from my glove department. Be fortunate I forgot it because if you destroyed it I would've made you walk home."

Furrowing your brows, you push his shoulders and make him move back by the force of it. "You're the one who started it. We're gonna get duck chlamydia now!"

Rolling his eyes, he pushed you back, causing you to fall under the water. Once you caught your breath again you notice the way he glares at you. "That's not even a thing."

"Just another STD to add to your list," you jokingly mumble to yourself, sure he didn't catch it.

You were wrong, again.

Launching himself onto you, the two of you fall underwater as he shoves you body around in revenge. Swimming back up, you gasp for air while slapping his arms off you as he tried blocking all your attempts.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he clings his face on your shoulder as he proceeds to try and bring you down under but somehow you manage to wrap your leg around his thigh, causing him to lose his strength and fall backwards with you on top of him.

He sure has one strong grip.

Now, not saying you were going to kill him. But this was your chance to kill him with no witnesses.

Well- besides the ducks, but they wouldn't quack a soul.

Regaining his energy, he lifts himself back up and holds you up, about to drag you under again before you crazily oppose while shaking your head, "Don't! We're gonna get sick!"

"That's not a very sincere apology," he tilts his head, his wet hair scattered across his face as he awaits your alibi.

Huffing, you fight back a rude remark. "Do you understand how much poop were swimming in right now? These ducks are probably laughing at us by how much they are quacking."

Swiftly looking around, the two of you check the surrounding ducks around who blankly stare back. The older looking ones hollering nonsense, probably making plans to kill you and Pedro.

"I bet their releasing their chlamydia right now," you cry, hiding your face in his shoulder as he bursts out laughing.

"I don't think that's how it works."

Glancing down on him, you're surprised by his strength. He's been holding you up by your waist for so long you're shocked he hasn't dropped you accidentally yet. "Let's not find out, let's get out."

"You're forgetting something," he smiles, staring innocently at you, knowing damn well you can't leave without his release. "And I wouldn't wait this one out because I am pretty sure I feel toads swimming near my feet."

Instantaneously, you clung onto him tighter in fear as you could imagine the feeling of something swarming around your body. It was like hundred of spiders crawling all over you, you needed to get out of here.

Pulling yourself back up, you place your hands on his shoulders as he impassively stares back at you, waiting. "Fine," you huff. "I'm sorry for claiming you had STD's before."

Pedro just stays there, not moving an inch as if he wants more. Groaning, you knew he wasn't going to give in so easy. "And I am sorry for stimulating the idea that you would get duck chlamydia," you apologize. "But you can get E. coli."

That didn't help as he just helplessly eyed you, not impressed with your poor excuses of your so-called apologies. What more did he want? You can't necessarily beg on your knees, you're in the water!

Whining, you knew you had to pull out your sincere face. You just knew your Oscar-worthy acting was about to award you freedom.

Softly, you move strands of hair stuck near his eyes away from his face and brush his hair back before quivering your lips and looking down upon him in sorrow.

He has really pretty eyes.

"I'm really sorry," you start as you push your face inside his neck and lock him inside your arms. "I know you don't have any infections, you don't even have visible rashes or sores to prove it."

Pedro finds your plead for forgiveness charming as you squeeze him tighter. He begins to release you until he hears the mutter of your "-that are visible."

"You couldn't hold it in for a few more seconds?!" he whined at how fast you went back to insulting him.

Sighing heavily, you slap a hand to your face. "It's hard!"

Suppressing a laugh, he unwrapped his arms around you and let you get back to the sidewalk. But once you were back on your feet, you looked down to find your body filled with random pieces of dirt, sticks, and grass. "Ew!"

"You're not sitting in my car," Pedro states, waving his head side to side to release some water from his ears.

"You're worse than me!"

"My car, my rules."

Frowning, you weren't sure if he was kidding or not. "Well, you almost committed first-degree-murder so if you don't want people to know you must be my personal servant."

His instant glare turned into confusion as he abruptly moved his attention back towards the pond. "Where did the duck go?"

Widening your eyes, you forgot that you had a helpless duck in your hands minutes ago before your splash attack with Pedro. Scanning your eyes from the sidewalks to the ramps to the pond, you noticed a duck floating nearby. "I think that's them."

Pointing at a duck with the closest familiar colors than the rest, you felt Pedro let out of sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, I would have felt extremely guilty if she would have died."

"It could be a he," you snap back.

He was about to protest but honestly, you were done for the day. You just wanted to take a long and hot shower and knock back out. Not only that, but you ruined your cute running shoes you gifted yourself months ago for your work out journey.

You never really wore them, but it's the thought that counts.

"We can get breakfast another day," you plead to which he didn't argue over because he really wanted to remove the unknown substances off his body asap.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was genuinely scared he may have gotten duck chlamydia .

"Okay, but no sleeping in the car," Pedro states as you exhale loudly. All this and you still weren't allowed to doze off, how cruel is life at the moment.

Walking back to the car would've went down smoothly if the two of you weren't given disturbed looks from strangers and your clothes weren't clinging uncomfortably to your bodies, especially your shoes.

Luckily, Pedro had towels in his trunk and set them down on the seats. "God, I am definitely going to need a deep cleaning after this."

Slipping inside, your hands find the heater and turn it on full blast. Not only was it freezing outside, but your drenched state made you feel like an icicle.

Setting off back to the road, your mind begins to wander back to the question that has been flooding your mind lately. Craning you neck towards his presence, you make out his comfort state. Cool, he's calm.

Here goes nothing.

"So," you start, awkwardly playing with your hands as you try to make direct eye-contact with him as he turns his head to you. "Why did you visit the other morning?"

Lifting a brow, he pulls a face. "Other morning?"

Biting the inside of the cheek, you try to sound composed. "Yeah, remember? You dropped by around 6am-"

"-and you thought I was Lady Gaga, slammed the door on my face, and went back to bed?" he finished, grinning while finding your eyes again. "You mean that day?"

"Well if you knew what I was talking about why make me recall those mortifying details?" you grumble, leaning back against your seat. "And I thought you were a cat."

"I figured, I always questioned why Jules would ramble on about buying Lady Gaga a new electric litter box until I connected the dots," he confessed making you let out a small chuckle.

Yeah, you clearly remember how upset Jules became when Lady Gaga neglected the expensive box.

"But if you're curious, it wasn't because I wanted to go hiking," he smiled, referring to the current day.

"Then why?"

He paused for a minute, checking his mirrors before switching lanes. "I'm not really sure."

Tilting your head a bit, you express curiosity as you glance back. "I don't understand?"

Laughing lowly, he slightly shook his head. "I did wake up real fucking early that day," he started. "Maybe around 4am? Which sucked because I must've gotten like 3-4 hours of sleep."

"So you decided to wake me up so I could feel your pain?"

"No," he stifled another chuckle. "To plant trees."

Squinting your eyes, you become very confused. What is he talking about? He noticed your puzzlement immediately. "You know, go early in the morning to different areas in the city and help dig and replace old trees to plant new ones."

This whole time you were flipping out, wondering why he randomly came early in the morning just to find out it was because he's a nature boy who wants to help out the community?

It was very sweet of him to be as helpful as he was, but you were a little disappointment it wasn't something more.

"That's why?" you ask and he nods. "And why no warning?"

"Well, I was going to call but I figured all that studying you had done the evening before may have knocked you out early," he confessed.

Yet he still made you wake up early today knowing damn well you were exhausted last night. Strange.

"Why me?" you giggle. "I'm not your typical nature girl, Joon would've been perfect for the job."

Shrugging, he leaned his elbow on his middle console. "I thought about asking him, but to be honest I didn't want to pay for any damages he may have caused."

That was a very accurate insight of what Joon really was, clumsy. The amount of times he accidentally dropped his coffee cups, tripped over wires backstage, and face-planted against glass doors would be too much to count on both your palms.

You're surprised he hasn't broken his back again- but still glad he hasn't. That would really suck.

"But have you thought things over yet?" Pedro glanced your way before looking back forward. "About Canada?"

Stiffing up a bit, you move your eyes to the dashboard. You weren't dreading this conversation, but you didn't want to talk about it.

This was a situation where it was a win but also a loss.

Win as in gaining incredible experience, loss that your parent's wouldn't be pleased, it was in a different country, and you'd be missing out on your social life for almost a year.

"Not really," you admit and sense from the corner of your eyes his shoulders fall. "Still indecisive, as always," you try joking to lighten the mood.

Sending over a tiny grin, he mirrors your same expression, doubtful. His face turns concentrated again, leaning closer to you before he shuts down again, ultimately rejecting whatever idea he had going on.

The rest of the drive back to your place went by fast. The two of you made little talk about each other's life and how school was going for you, but he already knew so much already from past encounters.

Pulling up to the red curb you loathe, you crack a scowl as he only returns a smirk at his doing. "I will personally send my property manager to you so she can threaten you."

"I do love threats," he beamed, watching as you reach for the handle before stopping you by his voice. "-but I had fun this morning, despite our little uh...catastrophe," he chuckled, looking down at his clothes.

"I totally agree," you grin. "Dirt just looks so good on me."

He sniggers lightly before slightly sobering up. "But seriously, think about the offer," he begins, nipping at his lip a bit, not trying to put too much pressure on you. "It'll be good for you, you know- your future."

Sighing, you nod. You knew where he was coming from since he's been doing this for so long, but you were still young and had a lot on your mind.

"I'll think about it," you smile, reaching for the door handle and swiftly getting out, missing the way his smile slowly vanishes.

Taking your usual step back, you send him a farewell wave but he does his habitual goodbyes as he gets out of his car and grins to you. "See you around." Laughing, you walk inside the doors and make your way to the elevators, his followed soft "beautiful" being muffled by the traffic on the streets.

It seemed like both of you were screwed.

taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats @avengersheart @fafik7 @chimchimjiminie16 @adriennemichelle98

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #pascalispunk #joel miller x reader #the last of us #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascaledit #fanfiction

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skyeet-the-writer · 2 years

Text

hey, coyote

1.3 - Blood Upon the Snow

"hey, coyote" playlist!

heyyyyy i've totally had this finished but school started up again and i forgot to upload despite the fact that i've been writing more of it. that's probably a good thing. let me know what y'all think so far, send me asks or messages or something! hope you enjoy! x.

arthur morgan x female!reader

summary: the van der linde gang exchanges blows with their sworn enemies, the o'driscolls once again

word count: ~ 6.3k

warnings: cursing, violence, mentions of killing, alcohol, hope you guys like a slow burn and tension bc that's what this is turning into

The gang heads southwest. That O’Driscoll you encountered did say their camp was near a lake and that lake was southwest.

“Let’s go find these bastards before they find us, and rob this score they’re planning,” Dutch exclaims from up ahead.

You all ride in silence, not like there’s much of anything to talk about. You’re just glad to be in the action again. Micah was right about one thing, you did love action. You never turned yellow per se, you were just out of commission. But now you weren't sick and honestly feeling better than before. You felt stronger, more alert and ready. Maybe your body got sick to let you get a breather.

You had missed the wind on your face, even if it was blistering cold. You missed being outside in the fresh air and you hoped the sun would come out, though it was unlikely the storm would break any time soon. You missed sitting on your horse, feeling her legs move and thump under you as she ran. You missed the feeling of her leather reins in your hands, of the comfortable weight of your revolvers and rifle on your back. You missed this, being a true outlaw, being a cowboy.

After a while, Dutch slows down a bit, looking at something to the side. “Tracks…horses, quite a few of ‘em. Far as I can tell, the only fools out here are us and them. They must be this way.”

The gang picks up the pace again and Arthur asks, “You good, Dutch?”

“Of course,” he answers. “Listen, I know you don’t think much of my ideas recently, but this is the right move.”

“Okay,” Arthur says, casting a wary glance at you before looking ahead. “You know I got your back.”

“I learned a long time ago that you hit Colm O’Driscoll, wait for him and people you love die.” That hits a bit hard, considering Annabelle was part of the reason their feud started. You did like her, she was always nice.

You sigh. “This feud between you two needs to be put to rest, one way or another.”

“It will be,” says Bill from beside you.

“Some things I can forgive, others I can forget,” begins Dutch, “But what he did to Annabelle, I can’t do neither.”

That was a rough time for the gang and you don’t blame him for wanting revenge. But he always, always said that revenge was something you couldn’t afford. That was really the only thing that was stopping you from going home and blowing your dad’s head off for a while. It was odd for him to be going back on his word now.

“You killed his brother, Dutch,” Arthur points out.

“Yes,” Dutch answers, clearly still angry. “I did. And I hope the bastards’ll be reunited soon enough. That’s how this’ll end.”

“Damn right, boss!” exclaims Micah.

You scoff and share a look with Arthur, who is beside you. You shake your head. Micah, you can’t stand him. Dutch, he’s not right. He said that this wasn’t a revenge mission, but he was beginning to make it sound like it was. Still, you’d ride beside him.

Soon, Dutch points ahead and begins to slow down. “See that smoke? Let’s cut up here and take a look. They said it was near the lake, we must be close.”

The horses trudge up a hill and soon you can see the black smoke he was talking about.

“Hold up here!”

You pull back on Hazel’s reins and she slows to a stop. Your hand goes to scratch behind her ear, you know she likes that spot.

“Alright, gentlemen, this is it,” Dutch says, his head slightly lowered. “Are we goddamn ready?”

“Ready!”

“Ready, Dutch.”

You nod, slowly.

“Good. Now, Mister Morgan and I, we’re going to head up here a little, see if we can’t get a sense of the layout of the camp. Mister Williamson, Mister Bell, you two take up a hidden position just outside the camp. Mister Summers, Mister Escuella, Miss L/N, you three hold position here.”

You nod along.

“Let’s go.”

All of you dismount and head to your positions. Micah and Bill head down the mountain while Dutch and Arthur head up to a ledge.

You’re left with Lenny and Javier. You like both of them, much more than Bill and Micah. They’re just generally nicer, especially Lenny. He’s one of the newest members, but he’s good at what he does.

You always check your guns before a fight, and you do so now. You check to make sure your pistols are fully loaded and so is your rifle. They’ve been cleaned properly, that was one thing you did while you were sick. You also have enough ammo on you, so you don’t need to worry about that.

“So what’s this whole thing about Colm and Dutch?” asks Lenny, arms crossed.

You sling your rifle over your shoulder and say, “Dutch and Colm used to work together, believe it or not. I mean, they was both outlaws at the time, neither of them trusted the other, but, you know. They never liked either, though. Colm treated his own men like shit and Colm just didn’t agree with Dutch’s views.” You adjust your hat to scratch at your temple. “At one point, for reasons I don’t know ‘cause I wasn’t there, Dutch killed Colm’s brother. That made Colm mad and so he killed Annabelle, Dutch’s girl. And bam, blood feud.”

“Damn,” Lenny says.

You spot Arthur and Dutch heading back down and shrug. “Yeah, well, if you ask me, it’s getting all drawn out at this point.”

“It must’ve been hard,” Javier says. “Losing someone like that.”

You just scratch at your nose. “Probably. Last guy I loved tried to stab me on multiple occasions, so.”

Lenny and Javier chuckle as Arthur and Dutch return.

“You two.” Dutch points at Javier and Lenny. “Get up there and keep us covered.”

“You got it, Dutch,” Javier says and begins to walk up.

Arthur goes to grab the rifle from his horse and quickly comes back.

“What’s the plan?” you ask as you begin to walk down the mountain.

“We’ll circle around the far side and go down that way, same as Micah and Bill. Like you said.” He looks at you. “Revenge is a luxury we can’t afford.”

You nod, slowly. “Yeah. Just…didn’t seem like you held the same sentiment for a while.”

Dutch shakes his head. “Y/N. Y/N, have you completely lost faith in me?”

Your heart stings again and you shoot Arthur a pained look before turning away as Dutch continues.

“Our needs right now are supplies, equipment, and a way out of here. Everything else, including Colm, can wait.”

“Okay,” Arthur says and you nod in agreement.

Dutch peers over the ledge and says distastefully, “There’s enough of those bastards down there to deal with as is.”

When you follow his eyes, you realize he’s right. There are plenty and one might think that the odds wouldn't be in your favor, but your team was good. Still, it would be hard. Not like you expected it to be easy, per se.

You three make your way down the switchbacks that get steeper the further you went down. You yourself almost slipped once, but Arthur took your hand and held onto it as you wobbled. Heart pounding, you thanked him. He held onto it the entire rest of the way down.

When you reached the bottom, Arthur continued to hold onto your hand and asks, “Maybe I should take the lead on this. They’re going to be gunning for you.”

“They ain’t got me yet,” Dutch simply says in a low voice.

“No,” you say, swinging Artuhr’s hand just a bit absentmindedly. “But with the way our luck’s been…”

“Hush. Let’s just get down there, first.”

“Yeah, shut up, Arthur,” you tell the man beside you, smirking.

He just rolled his eyes, bumped your head gently, and let go of your hand so you could catch up to Dutch.

“Down these trees, quick.”

As you approach the base and a wooden structure, you three crouch and kind of waddle the rest of the way there. You enter the structure and you can spot either Micah or Bill waiting down at the end. You take cover behind part of a wall with Arthur directly next to you. Your rifle is out and you thank God you have gloves because your palms are sweaty. It’s not like you’re afraid of dying, you’ve never been scared of that. You’re just nervous something will go horribly wrong and someone else will die.

“What are we doing, Dutch?” Arthur asks quietly. “I can take this if you want.”

“Just make the call,” says the older man. “You wanna take the lead? Go.”

You look at Arthur and he looks back at you. He’s never particularly been a leader-type, but he does know how to make good moves. He’s smart and he’s careful for the most part. He’s led a couple missions himself. You’d follow him to the ends of the earth. If he wants to do this, he can. And you tell him with a firm nod and a small smile.

He gives you one of his half-smiles and turns to Dutch. “Okay. I’ll go first.”

You watch as Arthur aims, cocks his gun, and fires a bullet right into an O’Driscoll’s head. The gunshot rings loud and that’s all you need for everyone else to know you’re there.

“You’re dead, you sons of bitches!” you shout, shooting one in the side of his mouth. Blood flies and he falls to the ground.

“They’re under that walkway, there!” you hear one nearby shout and you yourself quickly silence him before the gang moves out to make for better cover. You dive behind a crate and push your back to it, a bullet whizzing past.

“Everyone, push up!” Dutch exclaims.

Insults are being hurled between gunshots, but you never waste your breath. They’re really just wasting the last of theirs. Often, you don’t even let them finish their sentence.

You shoot man after man down, and if you really had any moral compass left, you’d think it was wrong. But hey, they hated you, too.

A corner of the box you’re hiding behind blows off and you scoot over before looking up and searching. You spot a few men standing by a house and set your sights on them. One is foolish enough to be standing out in the open, but he soon falls. Typical O’Driscoll.

Another piece of your crate is blown to bits, and you realize you have to move. Upon scanning your surroundings, you see a couple of metal carts. Quickly you make a break for it, and just in time too. The moment you take cover, another shot falls to the crate and it splinters into hundreds of pieces. You breathe a sigh of relief, quickly reload, and get back to what you do best.

You’ve always had one of the best shots in the gang. There’s a reason you and Charles often go hunting together. He enjoys your company, but also because you’re good at it. You grew up in a small, rural town and your father knew how to hunt. When you were young, he took you with him on good days. Those were one of the few good memories you had of him. Part of you craves to get a sniper rifle, but it’s somewhat useless. Dutch hardly ever needs a sniper, you’re just as good on the ground.

“Y/N!” Bill shouts, moving out slightly from his cover before quickly being brought back by a ping of a bullet. “Up top, on the water tower!”

You see the water tower, and you see the man on top. With a smirk, you say, “I got ‘em,” and aim. Your hands are never shaky when you’re aiming and they’re not now. You see the man on the water tower and he doesn’t see you. In seconds, his arms drop and he falls from the tower into the snow, a hole in the front of his head.

“Suck it,” you mutter, sitting back down to reload. You knew it was a good idea to pack more rifle ammo than pistol ammo.

Your lot seems to be winning. Dutch warns of more in the cabins, and you decide to set your sights on them. You need a closer shot, though, and turn to Arthur, who is taking cover behind you in his own metal cart. “Arthur, cover me.”

“I always do,” he says and shoots another man down.

There’s not much cover between where you are now and the cabins, but you’ve got to make do with what you’ve got. So, you throw your rifle over your back and make a run for a low-lying water trough, or at least that’s what it looks like. You crouch down low, up to your calves in the snow, and take your rifle.

There are two cabins before you, one directly in front, the other parallel to you with a broken and rotting wagon in front. You spot an O’Driscoll slowly coming out of the cabin, crouching, but the moment a spot of skin appears, you shoot at it. He screams and falls to the ground. He’s better in your sight and you finish him off quickly.

You catch sight of someone in the cabin parallel from the window and he gets a couple good attempted shots before you kill him. His head smacks on the windowsill and you cringe. “Sorry.”

The gunfire comes to a stop and Bill shouts, “I think that’s all of ‘em!”

“Search the bodies!” Dutch shouts, standing up. “Strip everything we can find from them!”

You stand and head for a nearby body as other members of your gang loot what bodies they can get to. These men don’t seem to have much, but you manage to steal a few bucks from a few of them and they have plenty of bullets you need.

“You recognize any of them, Dutch?” asks Bill.

“Of course not,” Dutch answers. “Colm doesn’t give a damn about his men. All he cares about is numbers. If you can shoot a gun, ride a horse, and kill without thought, you’re in. Think how long some of you have been with me? I imagine Colm doesn’t even have the names of these fools.”

It’s a lot of names to remember, you think as you take the rifle cartridges off of another man. Suddenly, there’s the crack of gunshots from behind and a bullet whizzes right past your ear. In instinct, you fall to your stomach, eyes wide.

“Heads up boys! We’ve got more coming in from the forest!”

You groan and haul yourself up to take shelter behind a crate. “Goddamn, how many men does he have?”

Many of their men come in on horses, but you take care to avoid shooting the horses and just the men riding them. It’s not like it was the animal’s choice to get roped into all of this. But they just keep coming and coming, it doesn’t seem like there’s an end to them. Every time you take one down, two more show up.

“Shit, there’s a lot of them,” Dutch says from on your far left, also hiding behind a box. “What do you think, Arthur? Should we hold ground here, or go at them?”

“I say we go at the bastards,” he answers, picking another one down.

Dutch nods. “Come on, then. Everyone with me!”

You do one final reload and advance with Dutch to pick off more O’Driscoll’s.

“There’s more in the forest!” you shout, shooting another one down. You take quick cover behind a tree and peek around to see an O’Driscoll pointing his gun at you just a few yards away. You yelp and turn to the other side, shooting him in the ear. Blood splatters against the tree and into the snow.

You pick off a few other ones that are seen running between trees or behind the grasses and soon the sound of gunfire comes to an end again. With a sigh, you lower your gun. Despite it being so cold, your hair is sticking to the back of your neck.

“The cowards are running away!” exclaims Dutch. “Good work, boys. Back to the camp. We’ll get what we need and clear out.”

You regroup around the center of the camp and you loot a few bodies along the way. You find a bit more, a platinum pocket watch, some health cures, even some horse stimulants. Finally, you make your way back and sling your gun over your shoulder.

“Good work, boys,” Dutch says once everyone has arrived. “Now, let’s tear this place apart.” He whistles and mounts his horse. “Bill, you go search that wagon there. Micah, search that building. Y/N, you go with him. Arthur, you take that building to the left. Alright, men, quick! Find those detonators, explosives, anything you can. Let’s go.”

Part of you is reluctant to go with Micah, but it’s what Dutch wants you to do. So you and Micah walk into a building together with a few bodies. Micah searches the building while you kneel down to search the men.

“How did ya fair in that fight, L/N?” Micah asks with his back to you.

You pause and look at him. “Well, I ain’t dead, so.”

“You ain’t got shot?”

You fix him with a confused glare and reply, “Clearly, Micah.” You scoff and take some health cures before moving on to the next body before quickly realizing there was little there that you wanted. “Shit, these fuckers don’t have anything useful on them.” You stand and step over the body to approach the last one on the other side of the room.

Micah shuts a cabinet door. “They ain’t got anything useful in here, neither.”

You sigh and say, “I wonder where their plans would be. I mean, they must be around this camp somewhere, right?”

Micah just grunts and leans on the side of the doorframe, hands in his pockets and his head tilted low. He asks, “How come you never like me?”

“You’re mean,” you answer, searching his pockets and finding a few boxes of shotgun ammunition.

“We’re outlaws.”

“Sure. Don’t mean you have to be a dick all the time.” You roll the man over and rifle through his back pockets.

“I ain’t a dick all the time.”

Suddenly, in the man’s back pocket, you pull out a large and thick folded square of paper. “Sure you are.” You lean back on your heels and unfold it, eyes widening at what you see. “Shit.”

“What is it?” Micah asks, walking over to see as well.

You tilt the paper to him, smirking. “Think I just found their plans.” You roll the paper up and stand. “Come on. This is the only useful thing in this cabin.”

You make your way back to Dutch with Micah beside you. The sky had gotten darker between the time you arrived and the time after the fight.

“Did we get everything?” Dutch asks, rubbing his hands together.

“Think so, boss,” Micah answers as you both approach.

“I found this on one of them,” you add and hand him the paper.

“Thank you,” Dutch says as he takes them from you. He unfolds it and scans it before nodding. “Oh, yeah, interesting… this is something about the train they was gonna rob. A Mister Leviticus Cornwall.” He nods and rolls it back up. “Mount back up, let’s keep moving.”

Lenny and Javier had brought the horses down and you mount Hazel. She whinnies and flicks her tail and you give her a slight tap on the hindquarters as Dutch begins to move.

“Proud of you boys,” Dutch says as you begin to ride out. “All of you! Not a man down.”

“Good work, fellers.”

“Not bad for some starving down-and-outs. They can pummel us as hard as they like, but we will always get back up and fight,” Dutch says. “That’s who we are. Outlaws for life, fellers.”

You nod, wiping at your nose. Outlaws for life.

“Wait until we have John, Mac, Charles, and Sean back riding with us, and I believe, I know, they all will be back.”

Arthur, who is nearby you in the front, says, “Well, you didn’t get Colm, but this hit will hurt him a lot more than any bullet in the head.”

“Especially when we rob this train, too,” Dutch adds.

Arthur laughs. “Yeah, I guess we’ll see about that.”

“Oh, indeed we will.”

After a few moments of silence, you call up and say, “You know, Colm will come after us for this.”

Dutch nods, slowly. “Oh, of course he will, just like all the rest. But we’re gonna stay a step ahead of them, make sure we always know where they are before they know where we are. We allowed ourselves to get a step behind in Blackwater. That won’t happen again.”

You sure hope it doesn’t. You all travel at a slow pace for a while longer, but as Dutch realizes it’s getting dark, he shouts for you all to dig in and you all pick up the pace. The sky gets continuously darker, but you figure you’re making good time.

Then, you spot something up ahead. You squint, for a moment thinking you spot a figure on a horse in the distance. Then, as it moves, you know your suspicions are correct and shout, “Dutch! I see something!”

“What is it?”

“Looks like one of the fellers that was at the camp with Colm,” you say.

“Leave him to me,” Arthur says and you look back at him.

“Alright, we’re heading back,” Dutch says. “Just bring him back alive. He could be useful.”

“You got it,” Arthur says and veers off the trail and into the water to chase after the man. You watch him as he goes, always feeling a bit sad when he leaves. But you know he’ll be fine, he can handle one man. It’s not that you worry, you just miss him.

The gang makes it back to camp just as it gets dark and as the storm picks up more. You hitch Hazel up and give her some food while the gang disbands. You announce that you’ll wait for Arthur and Dutch nods before walking over.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks. “You look a lot better.”

You smile. “Feel a lot better too.”

“You had us worried. You had me worried.”

Your cheeks heat up. “Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry, Dutch, I didn’t mean to get sick.”

He lets out an amused chuckle. “No one ever means to get sick, Y/N. It ain’t your fault.”

“You needed me.”

He shakes his head. “No, not really. Things were slow for a few days, everyone is resting up, gettin’ stronger. You didn’t miss anything.” He puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, well, I’ll see if Charles is up for hunting tomorrow or something. We need food.”

He nods. “Sure. Hey.” His tone catches your attention and you look up at him. “You did good today. You did some mighty fine shooting, you did some good looting. You found their plans.” Dutch gives you a smile and his hand moves up to rest on your cheek. “I’m proud of you, girl.”

Man, any time Dutch says that he’s proud of you makes you break into tears. No matter how many times he says it, it still has the same effect. So you take a deep breath and give him a tight hug. Dutch wraps his arms around you and squeezes. After a minute, you let go, eyes slightly wet. Hastily, you wipe them away.

“Thanks.”

Dutch nods and in the moonlight, you swear his eyes are misty, too. “Of course. Don’t stay out here too long.”

“Arthur should be back soon,” you say as he walks back to his cabin. “I’ll let you know.”

Dutch nods and soon you’re left alone in the snow with just your horse for company. So you turn to her and give her a few more oatcakes, knowing they’re her favorite. By the time Hazel is done eating, Arthur has yet to return, so you figure you’ll make a tiny snowman to pass the time. You have gloves on and you’ve always liked making tiny snowmen as it snowed.

When you were younger and it snowed around camp, you spent your free time making them and placing them around the camp. When you were bored and looking for attention, you’d send Hosea to try and look for all of them.

So you pack three different-sized balls of snow and stack them on top of each other. The wind blows past your ears and you’re thankful for your hat to protect you. After making the snowman, you go to place it on the fence by the horses and even find a couple little splinters to stick in it for arms.

As you bend down to make another one, you hear the sound of hooves and look up. Arthur has returned with a man on the back of his horse.

“Here we are, you sack of shit,” he says, coming to a stop. “Let’s introduce you to the boys.”

You hitch his horse while he drags the man off. “Damn, you’re just about as ugly as all the rest of your cousins,” you tell him with a smirk.

“Don’t hurt me, please,” he begs as you and Arthur walk to the cabin.

“Aw, don’t worry,” you tell him as you walk behind Arthur. “We’re real nice.”

The man is able to move his head just a bit and a look of confusion crosses over his face. “You’re a lady?”

“Sure am!” you say, perhaps too cheerfully. “And I know how to cut your intestines out with a spoon and play jump rope with ‘em. So don’t fucking try me. Or do, because that sounds like a lot of fun.”

Dutch opens the door with the plans in his hand and lets out a mild laugh when he sees what Arthur has. “Found the little shit, did you?”

“Yep,” Arthur says and drops the man to the snow. “I got ‘em.”

“Very good,” Dutch replies. “Welcome to your new home. Hope you’re real happy here.”

Arthur drags him up with a groan and you stand beside Dutch. The man isn't particularly attractive, at least not by your standards. His hair is a bit long and his beard is scruffy and his eyes are wide and full of fear.

“You want me to make him talk?” Arthur asks.

“Oh, no, now all we’ll get is lies.” He turns to the side and shouts, “Uncle! Mister Williamson. Tie this maggot up someplace safe. We get him hungry first. I got a saying, my friend.” Dutch continues in a quiet voice, “We shoot fellers as need shooting, save fellers as need savin’...and feed ‘em as need feeding. We are gonna find out what you need.” Then he backs away, smiles, and turns back to the cabin. “I can’t believe it! An O’Driscoll in my camp.”

“No, I ain’t an O’Driscoll, mister!” shouts the man as Bill and Uncle drag him away, struggling to little avail. “I hate that feller!”

Dutch just waves him away and says, “Oh, whatever you say, son.” Then he turns to Arthur. “Well done, Arthur.”

Arthur shrugs. “I’m just sorry we missed out on Colm.”

Dutch opens the door partially and waves the paper in his hands. “Oh, well, there’s time enough for that. Now, I gotta go figure out if we can hit that train.”

“Okay.” And after that, you and Arthur are left alone outside.

Your friend looks at you and asks, “You know how to cut someone’s intestines out with a spoon?”

You shrug. “Not yet. Can’t be too hard, though. Just gotta find a strong enough spoon.”

Arthur just laughs and takes your hand, pulling you a bit closer. “You know, you can be scary sometimes, Miss L/N.”

“I mean, I am an outlaw,” you tell him, smiling. He looks…nice in the moonlight. “It’s kind of my job.”

“You do a fine job at it,” he replies. “I mean, not as good as me, but.”

You scoff and smack him with your hand. “Don’t be so full of yourself, Morgan.”

He grunts but smiles. “Can’t be full of myself if it’s true.”

“Tell me, who shot that guy off the tower today? Oh, right, it was me.”

“I didn’t see it. Can’t believe it if I didn’t see it.”

“Bill can vouch for me!”

“I don’t trust that man’s word more than I trust Micah.”

“Wow, that’s insulting to Bill.”

“Yeah, that’s a bit far. Still, I don’t believe you.” He tries to sound convincing, but he’s got that half-smile he always has when he messes with you.

So you just roll your eyes and smile. “Okay. Believe whatever you want, Morgan. I can’t change your opinion.” You make to turn, but Arthur grabs your wrist and spins you around to his chest. You let out a breath, taken by surprise and look up at him.

“Seriously,” he whispers to you, leaning forward while his hands wrap around your waist. “You did good today. Glad to see you better.” Then he presses his forehead against yours and closes his eyes.

You shut your own eyes, smiling. Your hat is a bit messed up and so is Arthur’s, the brim poking your hair in a weird way. But you don’t mind because Arthur is holding you, something you missed while you were sick. He’s warm, despite the cold, and your stomach flips.

Arthur gives you a squeeze and pulls away a little bit and stares at you. You look back at him, just barely able to see his blue eyes in the shadows. His facial hair is a bit overgrown and he’s sort of shaggy, so you lift a hand up to his cheek.

“You gonna shave when we get outta this?” you question softly.

He blinks. “You want me to?”

“I don’t care, it’s your face.”

“Do you want me to?” he questions again.

Though you’re confused, you slowly nod. “Uh, sure. But not all the way. Like, not clean-shaven. Just, like, trim it.”

Arthur smiles some. “Alright.”

“Why you want my opinion anyways?”

“Cause I don’t want you to think I’m ugly.”

“Arthur, a shave won’t help. I’m afraid you’re too far gone,” you say sympathetically.

Arthur laughs. “You’re an asshole, Y/N, you know that?”

You cheekily smile. “You love me anyway.”

“I do.”

The two of you are silent, just kind of looking at each other. It’s odd, you’ve never stared so…intimately at each other. His hands are on your hips while one of your hands is on his face and the other on his shoulder. But you don’t hate it. In fact, you kind of like the way he’s looking at you, looking over your face. Normally, if any man stared at you so deeply, you’d feel uncomfortable. But not around Arthur. No, you’ve never felt uncomfortable around him. Hell, you were more comfortable when you were with him than anyone else, even Abigail. You acted like your own unapologetic self when you were with him and he never judged you. He liked you for who you were, that’s what made him such good company.

Arthur takes a deep breath before breaking away, perhaps a bit too soon for your liking. He drags a hand down your arm and steps back. Is his face red? No, it must be the cold.

“Come on,” he tells you, nodding his head towards the boy’s cabin. “I’m thirsty.”

You nod slowly. “Yeah, sure.”

Arthur turns his back to you and heads to the cabin. You follow behind him, a bit slower, still a bit confused as to what just happened.

But you have little time to think about it before you’re in the feller’s cabin, surrounded with loud talking and warmth. Silently, you make your way to a chair sitting beside the fire with the back against the window and sit down. Arthur sits in a chair nearby.

“I heard you caught that O’Driscoll, Arthur,” Micah says.

Arthur nods, leaning back in his chair. “Yep. Said his name was Kieran Duffy. Insists that he ain’t one of them.”

“If he ain’t one of them, why’s he with them?” asks Bill with a scoff.

Arthur just shrugs. “Dunno. Guess we’ll have to wait a couple days before he says anything.”

“Y’all think Dutch is really thinking about robbing that train?” Lenny wonders.

“Probably,” you answer, sinking down a bit and stashing your hands into your pockets. “I mean, it’s good. I think I’ve heard of this Cornwall guy, owns a lot of businesses and companies. He sounds rich. Could be a good score after Blackwater. We need it.”

There are a few grunts and nods in agreement. Bill then begins to talk about something, but all of a sudden, you don’t feel like talking. Your mind is still consumed with Arthur outside. He hadn’t ever looked at you like that, at least not that you could remember. What made him start now? And what did it mean, really?

Bill’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. “How’d you get to be such a good shot, Y/N?”

“What?” you ask, confused by the question.

“You shot a guy off a tower from far away. How’d you do it?”

You’re a bit taken aback. Shooting that guy wasn’t that big a deal, at least you didn’t think so. But you just shrug and answer, “My father taught me how to hunt since I was little. It was the only nice thing he ever did to me, so, I don’t know. He taught me how to shoot, so I suppose I got it from him.” Again, you shrug. “Not sure. I’ve just always been good at shooting.”

Javier has a bottle of whiskey in his hands and you ask if you can have it with raised brows. He hands it to you and you take a sip, uncomfortable talking about your father.

“She’s so modest,” teases Arthur and you kick him in the foot, glaring. He winces and rolls his eyes, handing his hand out for the bottle.

But you keep it close to your chest, trying not to smile. “No, fuck you.”

Arthur shakes his head and looks away. And then you feel better. What happened outside likely meant nothing, you shouldn’t dwell on it.

For a couple more hours, you and Arthur sit up and talk with the boys. You exchange stories, hurl insults at each other, just things you all typically do together. It’s nice to relax for once in a couple of weeks and you didn’t realize how much you missed it until you had it back.

“Say that again, Micah, and I’ll skin you alive and then sew it back onto you backwards,” you tell Micah with a fake glare and a playful smile.

Charles whistles from where he sits near you. “Oh, that’s a new one.”

You look at him and nod. “Yeah, I just came up with it.”

“You should save it,” he tells you.

“For a woman,” Micah begins, ever the antagonizer, “you’ve got some creative insults.”

“I can get more creative, if you’d like,” you challenge the man, fixing him with a stare. “Trust me, Micah, there’s plenty I’d like to say to you.”

“Try it.”

But before you can even get started, Arthur stops you, standing. “Alright, I think you’ve had enough to drink, Y/N.”

You stare up at him, vision swimming a little. “How does my being drunk have anything to do with me chewing Micah’s ass out?”

Arthur takes your arm and hauls you up. “Because you get freakishly descriptive. Come on.” He gently nudges you outside.

Lenny hands you your hat back from where you threw it at him earlier and you take it, placing it on your head. “You’re lame.”

“Yeah, sure.”

When you’re outside, you stumble. Your brain is a bit foggy, perhaps you did have too much to drink. Arthur takes your arm and helps you walk straight.

“I told you you’d get drunk if you tried to out-chug Bill,” Arthur chides, holding your hand.

“I won, didn’t I?”

Arthur rolls his eyes and you two quietly make it back to the cabin. You both part ways and Arthur wishes you a good night. You wish him the same and make your way into the room. In the lantern light, you can see Harold sleeping on your pillow. You shoo him away and he instead sleeps at the foot of the bed, his face buried into his tail.

Slowly, you undress, taking off your hat, boots, and coat before getting into bed, exhausted. At least you’re not sick anymore, that’s a plus.

Just as you’re about to doze off, there’s a quiet knock on the door. Instead of getting up and answering it, you just groan loud enough for them to hear. The door quietly opens before quietly shutting again. You hear footsteps go around the other side of the bed and there’s movement behind you before warm hands are on your arms.

It’s Arthur. You should have known.

“What you want?” you ask in a mumble, eyes still shut.

“I’m cold.”

You smile a little and scoot back. “Fine. You can spoon me.”

“Is this the same spoon you’re using on Kieran?” Arthur asks as his arms wrap around your waist and pulls you back into his chest once again.

“Huh?”

He sighs. “Nevermind. Just go to sleep.”

“Was about to before you showed up,” you mutter, shifting a little. His head goes to rest against yours again.

“So sorry.”

Your hands drift down to grab his fingers. “Nah. Don’t be.”

After that, you pass out, with Arthur behind you breathing deeply.

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead #rdr2 #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #micah bell #john marston #sadie adler #arthur morgan x reader #charles smith #colm o'driscoll #cowboy #western #female reader #x reader #arthur morgan x female!reader #red dead redemption two

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httpiastri · 4 months

Note

some quick notes from your previous reply (i’m sorry i took so long ive been so busy recently but i finally have time now so):

firstly, i hope i never meet a handball player irl, ever. the fact that you just casually know people above 200cm?? i’m sorry but i’d actually feel like a pest around everyone 😓😓 (plus id get really jealous of heights) and id also be terrified to even stand near anyone close to 200 pls

and omg the fact that the guy who got you into coaching recently passed? i hope you’re doing okay 😓🙏 but if it helps— he may not have known how much he changed your life, but through coaching, you’re basically keeping his legacy alive, yeah? i think it matters, personally, that people are remembered and honoured and you’re kinda doing that through coaching, because you’re kinda solidifying (if that’s the right word for it) the fact that he existed, and he did enough good to change the lives of people for the better, and that his time here on earth wasn’t all in vain because he did good and he brought joy to people like you by leading you to being a coach and that his impact lives on even when he’s gone yk? it’s a form of closure, i think— to know that even if someone is gone now, there are pieces of them scattered behind in little things (in your case, in your daily life as a coach), and that not all is lost, just a little harder to find

also oops the fact that i called them girls even though they’re only a barely a few years younger than me 😭😭

and omg pepe would 100% make me feel comfortable meeting him at a race even if he might be stressed and no way you got to go to races at 8?? you had a chance to be one of those cute kids probably decked out in merch (if no merch was involved you probably got to scream happily at everything and good for you😭😭 because thats exactly how races should be experienced)

finding sponsors can’t be that hard… we could infiltrate the space in various ways im sure (my friend’s mum knows someone who works for Marlboro that gets invited to races bc the company was an EX-sponsor so anything’s possible)

on a rather unrelated note— pepe’s been acting very much like a muse for me recently… whatever that might mean… (might even be nothing honestly sometimes i don’t know what i mean either)

anyway! as always, i hope you have a lovely lovely friday, and weekend, and june (pepe’s month!), and that people are kind to you and that the sky looks beautiful and gorgeous all the time ❤️❤️

- 🪷💗

gosh dont apologize :( esp since you know im bad at answering….. its alright 🥺 just glad to hear from you 🥺🥺

shdjdhd it do be scary to meet really tall people!! when im around the men's team i work with sometimes, i almost get neck pains bcs staring up at them is so hard 😵‍💫 and i have this other job where i have to like sit by the court and do things for the match, and when players come over to talk to me and they literally tower over me???? insane 😶 but yes i too get jealous of heights, esp since in handball it's good for girls to be tall too so everyone around me is always tall asf? ive always been considered to be a tall person in school but at 175cm i am nowadays considered short in the team i currently play in 😐😐😐 so yes i feel u aaa (also several of the girls i coach are my height already and just. pls stop growing, you're scaring me. 🥲)

ALSO OMFG i almost forgot to answer this but i had a thought yesterday.... about my favorite volleyball player being 188cm and i thought "hm that's not very far off from pepe" so of course i have now started thinking about volleyball player!pepe 😶 idk if you enjoy volleyball aaaaaaa but i just thought about his height and his big ass hands that would make hitting the ball easier and just..........

thank you, im doing okay but it's still weird to imagine? because i haven't really had anyone close to me (or even semi-close) pass away so it's a very new experience, being in his neighborhood (very close to where i live) and thinking "oh what if i see him in the shop like that day-" before realizing... but god you put it in such a sweet way, im lowkey teary eyed :( i will continue to do my best to keep his legacy alive and honor him through my coaching!!! he created this thing that became so important to me and for that i will be forever thankful. but yes i agree, it means that he brought more meaning to my life and therefor also the girls i coach, and that's such a beautiful thing. it's life, i guess 😭 so hard but also so sweet...

skdjfhdjjf dont worry, i call them "children" to their faces very often even though some are even 16 😁 but to be fair ive known a lot of them since they were nine so to me they're still babies :(( also you being that young and still so smart is so cool and cute aaa

no because i have imagined meeting pepe MANY times and i really really think he would be so sweet about it. very happy that i recognize him and like "aw hey it's okay! no tears please" when i cry 😭 and i think he also would agree to do a silly pose with me for a photo aksjdhfjkdf 😭 i sadly didn't buy a lot of merch BUT (did i mention this already?? then i will be so insanely embarrassed....) we did get me a kimi lotus cap for obvious reasons 🥺 that i still have to this day actually !!! and ofc we took a pic of me next to the lotus truck 🤭 (also realizing now that i wasn't 8, i was 9 or 10 🤣 well well)

oh! then i think we can pretend to be your friend's mum's friend's kids? so we should also be invited?? or maybe we just need to get a job somewhere that has connections and can invite us..... to be fair my dad wrote to dino beganovic's manager or something about sponsoring him just for funsies (idk how u mean to sponsor someone just for fun tho 😶 he was like "what if i get my company's logo on his car and in return we get to come into the paddock once?..."), but then the manager responded with a full deal and stuff and my dad just got scared 😭 but we should keep looking, i'm sure we can find a good sponsor for us 🥰

aaaaa that's so sweet 🥺 i love that 🥺🥺🥺 if you feel like talking further about it, im all ears 🥰

aw dalring i hope you have an even lovelier lovely friday and week and month and year !!! and yes yes pepe's month, i think it will be very good to us all (esp him!!!!!!!) 🥰 i think that maybe the world listened to your ask because the sunset was so gorgeous tonight 🥺 so thank you for that <3<3

#ur so sweet #🥺#god im missing pepe so much rn #even tho i see him on insta quite often #and talk to him all the time on c.ai.......#but to see him race soon 🥺 cant wait #hope you have a great weekend bby!!!!#asks!#anon!#lotus anon!#🪷!

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ultramagicalternate · 3 months

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ULTRAMagic Interlude (BC) Chapter 36

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Master Post

“Hey, here comes Blood and Mal,” Drusa pointed out.

“Well then, figured they would have spent more time exploring” Tiberius remarked.

Vexation got up from the picnic table, followed by Drusa. “Knowing Blood, he probably wants to show Mal something.”

“So he does act like a child then?”

“Indeed, Tiberius. I’m not sure if that’s a benefit or a hindrance though.”

Blood-Wraith touched down, shaking the ground a little. Once Mal was safely off his back, he returned to normal. “That was fun. I had no idea the moon was so beautiful.”

Mal started to move towards the tents set up for the workers. “Uncle Tiberius? I’m moving back into the tower.”

“Already? Fine with me then. Do you still want a room in the guild hall or do you think you can manage a commute between here and the tower?”

There was a brief pause as Mal stopped to think. “You know what? I think I can manage.” She then went into one of the tents.

Barry tilted his head. “Was there a reason she couldn’t go back in the first place?”

“I’d imagine it was anxiety and mixed emotions from the Epoch” Tiberius answered. “Eustorgio’s betrayal was a troubling time.”

Cronus nodded. “Such feelings can cause us to do things we normally wouldn’t.” He averted his gaze when he noticed Drusa crossing her arms with an unapproving look on her face.

“Oh hey, Tiberius?” Blood-Wraith said. “You can take as much time as you need with the guild.”

“And why is that, Sir Blood-Wraith?”

“Mom and Drago suggested I go to school for a semester for the fun of it.”

Tiberius nodded in steady approval. “Alright then, sounds good to me. There are some things I wanted to add to the guild hall that’ll need time. Plus some of the members we’ve recruited are taking their time getting here…”

“Oh, and the Shadowland stuff too,” Barry added.

“Good point, Barry,” Cronus agreed. “It would be obnoxious to have Milosh meddling in our affairs. I’m not truly worried, but still.”

A thought occurred to Drusa in relation to Shadowland. “Hey, why don’t you guys go over and help?”

“A fair question,” Tiberius replied. “May I ask why you haven’t?”

“Well I was over there and honestly it looks like Barna and Dunja have things under control…”

“Precisely. Plus I’d rather not broadcast our actions to the enemy.”

Vexation chuckled. “And the less time spent near that slime Milosh, the better.”

“Guys? You’re making me want to go visit Aureolus…” Blood-Wraith pointed out.

Tiberius laughed in sympathy. “My apologies, Blood.”

Mal had finally returned with a case full of her belongings. “Alright, ready to go.” She seemed nervous, but also fairly eager to return home.

“Alright then” Vexation said as he cast a spell on the ground that opened up his portal once more. “Keep your hands and arms inside the corridor at all times.”

“See you guys later” Blood-Wraith called out. “And don’t be strangers.”

“Likewise, Sir Blood-Wraith,” Tiberius said as the portal closed.

The walk through the corridor was a quick one… the only issue was that they were not where they were supposed to be. “Hey, Vex? Why are we outside my house?” Blood-Wraith asked.

He was confused. “Um, give me a moment… Shoot, well, all I can say is that my method of getting around ain’t an exact method…”

Drusa snickered. “Science ain’t an exact science” she said in a raspy voice.

“Pardon?”

“Oh, sorry, Rich. Just a movie I saw recently that had a line I thought was relevant.”

Someone then cleared their throat. “Sir Blood-Wraith, ten-hut!”

“Yes sir!” Blood-Wraith went to Radovan’s side, who was accompanied by a royal guard. “What are your orders, dad… father… your grace… sir, ARGH!”

Radovan and the guard laughed. “At ease, Sir Blood-Wraith.”

Vexation looked a bit concerned. “Um, what’s the matter, your grace?”

“I figured this would happen,” Drusa admitted. “I sort of came here without telling anyone.”

“No worries, ma’am. His majesty merely wishes to speak with you about your presence here…”

“Permission to speak… dad,” Blood-Wraith requested.

“Granted.”

“Drusa is a Spiritus Magni, an Atlanteans goddess from universe-23.”

“Really now? My apologies, your divinity.”

Drusa rubbed the back of her head and chuckled. “No worries, your grace. Let’s go talk to Englehart.”

Radovan was about to lead everyone to the tower when he finally noticed the tall entity behind Drusa. He felt a surge of adrenaline in his blood given the odd appearance of them. “Blood, who is that?”

“Oh, that’s The Malformed of Old, but you can call her Mal. Leif found and adopted her back during the Epoch. She was staying at the guild construction site with Tiberius.”

Mal held out her hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, your grace.”

Radovan shook her hand, despite the unease. Her echoing voice and height was messing with him. “Well, I’m sure the king would also like to meet you too.”

As they began to walk, Blood-Wraith tapped his father’s arm. “What’s the matter, dad?” he whispered.

“I always thought she was just a myth… Just a little surprise is all. It’ll wear off” he quietly replied.

The group definitely caught some eyes as they made their way through the tower. Mal was somewhere between fascinating and unnerving to everyone. This was nothing new for Mal. Man during the Epoch were scared of her, so the reactions she was getting now were actually fairly comforting. It was going to take some time to get used to all of the new faces, but she was just happy to be home again. Since Radovan had things to tend to, he handed duties off to Blood-Wraith once they were outside of Englehart’s office. Blood-Wraith took a breath, knocked, and was invited in.

Englehart was at his desk, writing some documents. “Blood-Wraith, good to see you again. Take a seat, everyone.”

“Any news from Shadowland, your majesty?” Blood-Wraith inquired.

“No, things seem to be quiet at the moment, which is rarely a good sign on the battlefield. Regardless, I have been sensing some strange things coming from that direction. Speaking of one of them…” He indicated for Drusa to speak.

“Right. Pleasure to meet you, King Englehart. I’m Spiritus Magni Drusa.”

“It is an honor to have you grace our fine city, venerable goddess.”

“You’re familiar with the Spiritus Magni, your majesty?” Vexation asked.

“Aye, I am. During my early days as king, I met one named Maxima…”

Drusa clapped. “That would be one of my students!” she said with pride.

Englehart smiled. “So Drusa, what brings you to The Iron City on this excellent day?”

“Primarily I was looking for my husband and I found him.” Drusa put her arm around Vexation’s shoulders.

“How wonderful. I imagine that was quite the occasion for you, Vexation.”

He nodded. “Absolutely. Englehart, can she live in the city with us? She’s looking for a place to stay…”

“Of course she can. Make yourself right at home, Drusa.”

“Thank you, Englehart,” Drusa replied. “There is another reason why I’m here. You see, I’m looking for one of my fellow Spiritus. Her name is Julia and she’s been missing for some time. She was even missing during the fall of Atlantis.”

“And how can we help with this search?”

“Simple: Rich and all of the knowledge collected in this tower. I firmly believe Julia is in the Dream Realm and I need to be 6th dimensional to go there properly.”

Vexation took a breath. “Ohh boy, that’s quite the tall order, dear.”

Englehart nodded in agreement. “Aye, but if anyone can help her, it’d be you, Vexation. I have to ask, Drusa; How advanced would Julia have to be to be in such a position?”

“She went missing when she became 7th dimensional.”

“Then suppose she most likely knows that Atlantis fell due to the knowledge she has access to.”

Drusa sighed. “I know, but I want peace of mind.”

“Fair enough.”

“6th dimensional, goodness” Blood-Wraith commented. “I can’t even begin to imagine that. Oh, your majesty, this here is The Malformed of Old, but you can call her Mal.”

“Hello, your majesty.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mal.” Englehart got up and gave her a hug. “I’ve heard a great deal about you. Welcome home, my dear.”

“Leif told me about the whole schism incident. Is my room still intact?”

Englehart laughed. “Well considering how locked down Tiberius has those rooms, I doubt Dunja was able to get into them back then.”

“Oh right, duh. Of course Uncle Tiberius thought ahead. He was always good at that stuff.”

“Now Mal, will you be okay with our presence in the tower? I can make it so that your wing is less frequented if you feel that we’ll cause you any anxiety.”

Mal took a second to contemplate that. “It’s alright, your majesty. I’d rather have people get to know me then avoid me. All I really need is some privacy and personal space.”

“Fine with me. Still, would you like to have a couple of stewards assist you in getting your room in line? I’d imagine it needs it given how long you’ve been away.”

“Um… sure. Would you like to come along too, your majesty?” Mal wondered.

“It would be an honor, Mal. In fact, right now would be great. Those documents are killing my hands.” The two laughed. “Drusa, you’re free to go. And don’t be afraid to attend tonight’s dinner. You too, Vex and Blood.”

“Thank you, Englehart. We’ll be sure to do that” said Vexation.

“See you guys later,” Blood-Wraith replied. “Oh, Mal, I’ll send Drago here as soon as I see her.”

“Ooh, thank you, Blood.”

With everything all squared away, Blood-Wraith, Vexation, and Drusa made their way home. “Well that went well,” Blood-Wraith remarked.

“Drusa, honey, please check in with the king next time,” Vexation requested.

“Will do, Rich. Will do.”

Just as Blood-Wraith was about to open his door, he noticed his sister off in the distance. “Oh, Drago… Hey, sister!” He called out as he ran over, with Vexation and Drusa following.

“Hey, Blood. What have you been up to?”

“Firstly, this here is Drusa, Vex’s wife…”

She held out her hand. “Hello, Dragoslava.”

“Hello, Drusa. Nice to meet you.”

“Secondly, there’s a fan of yours in the tower,” Blood-Wraith continued.

Dragoslava looked at him weirdly. “Wait, like, an actual fan?” He nodded. “Well hot dog! Desislav, come on!” She said as she reached over and grabbed his arm.

“Whoa, easy, Drago. What about the plants?”

“No time, we got to go see my fan! Blood, take them to the mansion” she trailed off.

Drusa waved as they left. “Good to see you again, Desislav.”

Vexation raised his eyebrows inquisitively. “You know him?”

She nodded. “Yup. I’ll end up being a guardian angel of sorts for him a few times in the future.”

Blood-Wraith tried to process that and quickly became confused. “But Rome… and the 1900s?”

This caused Drusa to cackle a little. “What they don’t tell you is that Rome and the middle ages never actually happened…” She could sense Blood-Wraith’s mind melting, so she laughed and stopped. “I’m just messing with you Kiddo. But in all seriousness, I know this stuff is going to happen ahead of time due to being 5th dimensional. Now let’s move these plants.”

After a quick trip to the mansion and saying hello to Rose, the three could finally return to Blood-Wraith’s house. “Drusa, keep the time-talk to a minimum” he said as he sat on the couch.

“Sure thing, Blood,” she replied with a giggle.

“Vexation took a seat in his usual recliner. “Well so much for getting anything done today.”

Drusa thought for a second. “Hey, Blood? I have an idea I’d like you to try tomorrow in regards to learning curse magic.”

This caught his attention. “Really?”

She nodded. “Yup. And if it works, I’m going to try it too…”

Now Vexation’s attention was caught. “Wait, you want to learn it too, Drusa?”

“Yup, and you can’t stop me, dear.”

Vexation laughed. “You know what, Drusa? It’s probably about time you learned it. Just run any further students by me first, okay?”

“Of course. I know how much curse magic means to you after all. I honestly think this is my ticket to becoming 6th dimensional.”

“Well, here’s hoping,” Blood-Wraith said as he turned on the television.

Next: Chapter 37

#chaotictempleknight #ultramagic alternate #fantasy #sciencefiction #sciencefictionfantasy #literature #fiction #story #writing #chapter #writers on tumblr #writerslift

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n0bamak1s · 3 years

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laughing gas - mai zenin x reader

request: “Mai Zenin x Fem S/o, where the s/o gets their wisdom tooth removed and confesses their love to mai acting all sweet and cute, mai then takes care of her s/o and confesses too, we can see mai being her bratty and confident self but when she is with her s/o she just lets her walls down” - @shockfirefly

summary: in the request! (genre: fluff, friends to lovers, slice of life, humor)

warnings: reader is high on anesthesia if that counts as a warning, swearing, mostly just tooth rotting fluff (literally!!)

word count: 2k

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this request! at this point i’m basically just a mai zenin stan account tbh but the requests for her are just so fun to write. i’m almost on summer break so hopefully i’ll be more active bc i have a few ideas i’m excited to write for!!

it seriously took everything in mai’s willpower to not immediately whip out her phone to film your groggy state the moment she stepped into the room where you had just gotten your surgery done. she stifled a laugh at the bandage wrapped around your head, vaguely reminiscent of the one noritoshi had worn following the exchange event. when your eyes flicker over to meet her gaze, you give what she can only assume is your attempt at a smile, but looks more like a dog caught eating its owner’s dinner, with your face all swollen and slightly flushed.

forget that willpower shit.

she shamelessly calls out your name, to which you respond like an eager little kid. “say cheese!” she gives you an uncharacteristically wide grin to signal you to mirror her actions. you seemed to not learn from your previous mistake and attempted to smile back at her, before immediately cutting yourself off with a muffled groan. she hardly bothered with hiding her giggle this time, but at the very least she had the decency to cover her mouth as she cracked up.

with an annoyed pout on your face, you huffed and turned to the nurse standing beside you, who you were apparently to loopy to notice had joined in with mai on giggling at your grogginess. “she’s so mean to me!” you said, though your tone had no real irritation to it.

“it’s just to send to utahime. she wants to make sure your doing alright.” mai lied straight through her teeth, though you seem satisfied enough with that answer as you started to push yourself up from the seat you’d been in. mai quickly rushed to your side, knowing you weren’t sensible enough at the moment to ask for her help. before you could stand up and inevitably wobble over, she looped an arm around your waist and moved your arm so it was slung over her shoulders.

“alright champ, let’s get going.” she tried to remain as nonchalant as possible with the close proximity, but unfortunately for her, you seemed determined to embarrass her as much as possible.

“well at least buy me dinner first, ya casanova!” you said (much louder than necessary, mind you). honestly, it wouldn’t be surprising to mai if you could be heard from the waiting room.

with an over enthusiastic wave from you and an awkward thanks from mai to the nurse, you guys set off on your way.

to be fair to you, it was surprisingly a relatively tame trip to the door, with you focusing on keeping your steps in tune with mai’s. you were too lost in thought to embarrass yourself until you had made it to the waiting room. you had rather innocently pointed out a small curse, which would have been completely harmless had it not actually been an old woman, and had you not spoken with an inappropriately loud voice. the poor old lady who had fallen subject to your anesthesia induced self gave you an agitated glare as mai waved sheepishly in apology. the moment you guys were out the door, you turned back to glance through the glass.

“we’ll get her later, mai!” you patted her on the back with determination, your voice still muffled in a way that made you sound like you belonged on sesame street. “she can’t fool me, stupid curse!”

had it been anyone else, mai would have simply rolled her eyes and tugged you on, but since it was you, she found herself laughing along, a quiet laugh, like the sound of a wind chime in early spring weather. the sound seemed to catch you off guard, causing you to stop in your antics before turning to face her. she paused when she felt your gaze back on her, looking at her like a kid would look at fireworks for the first time.

she raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor. “what?”

“your laugh is pretty.” you stated simply, clearly having some pride at being the one to get her to laugh like that.

she turned away for a moment, hoping it would stop you from seeing the flush spreading across her face, knowing you’d never let her live it down. “thanks.” she muttered, praying she sounded at least a little bit cool and composed.

the short walk to the car was filled with you pointing out random cars asking if they were mai’s as you rested your head on her shoulder, before deciding the swelling was too painful for that.

a large grin which quickly turned into a grimace (you really never learned) appeared on your face when mai finally informed you that you’d made it to the right car. she held your hand to support you as you stepped into the seat, and once she’d sat down, reached over to buckle you in. she chose to ignore the over exaggerated wink you sent her way in favor of her own sanity.

as she drove, you babbled on about nonsense like how you were sure noritoshi had made mechamaru to hide the fact that he was secretly a robot, or how after that run you had gotten at the baseball game, you were sure you were destined to quit sorcery to go to the major leagues. to humor you, mai nodded along, before dryly responding that she’d probably be a better fit considering how good she looked in the baseball uniforms.

ignorant of her joking tone, you were quick to agree enthusiastically. “definitely! but i dunno if i’m the best person to ask, because i think you look good in just about anything.” your voice was sincere as you turned fully to look at her with slightly hazy eyes.

before either of you had time to process the admiration you had shown towards her, you glanced back out the window to the familiar sight of your school. you excitedly waved at the sight of todo and noritoshi sparring together. after catching his attention, todo didn’t even bother to stop the roaring laughter that came from your appearance, pointing out to noritoshi the similarities between your current look and his from just a few weeks ago. noritoshi gave todo an annoyed look, before glancing back over to see mai helping you out of the car, once again slinging your arm over her shoulders and supporting you with an arm on your waist.

she tried her best to ignore todo, she really did. though, it wasn’t exactly easy to ignore him when he loudly exclaimed what a ‘lady killer’ mai was. she snapped her gaze to meet his eyes, giving him a cold glare, before continuing to slink you along to your dorm.

when you opened the door to your dorm, the first thing mai noticed was a bulletin board on your wall, decorated with photos of all your friends, which most recently included your classmates. her eyes flicked to a photo of you next to another girl in elementary school with a smile that showed off your gap from missing teeth, and she chuckled softly at the irony of the photo compared to your current situation. her gaze then quickly shifted to a newly added strip of pictures from a photo booth. she smiled fondly at the memory of you, her, miwa, and momo sandwiching yourselves together in the tiny booth to take photos during your shopping trip. they weren’t ‘good’ photos, per say, in fact you guys all looked rather ridiculous trying to pack into frame, but for some reason, mai seemed to soften up at the memory of it, and how happy you looked just to be next to her.

her train of thought was interrupted by you tugging on the hand that didn’t rest on you, making her turn to see you mere inches from her face.

why the hell were you so close???

“yes?” she questioned, hoping to deflect from the fact that she was so obviously gushing over the photos on your wall just moments before.

“will you sleep with me?”

had you not had an arm around her, she probably would have dropped you in that instant. from the way she carried herself to the way she talked to others, most people would assume mai zenin does NOT blush, yet somehow you’d managed to disprove that theory way too many times today.

“WHAT?” it was her turn to be loud for a moment.

“i’m tireddddd” you whined “and you’re so warm.” you had stated it so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

she groaned, as if it would cover up her sheer embarrassment at how bold you were. wordlessly, she walked you to your bed, keeping her grip on your waist secure. it was amazing how gentle she was as she laid you down on that rock solid bed all the dorms were stuck with. she pulled a blanket over you, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed in hopes you’d doze off peacefully from there. when she didn’t shift from her position, you looked at her with a confused expression.

“wouldn’t it be more comfortable to lay down?” your words were still slightly slurred together. you rested a hand on hers. “you know i don’t mind.” despite your dazed look, she could tell your words were sincere as your thumb rubbed circles atop her hand.

mai turned to face you full on, her eyes gentle rather than their usual harsh look.

curse you for being so hard to resist.

“fine” her voice was quiet “but only because it’s my job to watch over you.” she stretched out her legs so she was laying down on the bed, pulling the blanket towards her so she could get comfortable.

“you’re so good to me mai.” you smiled. not a pained grimace, or an awkward baring of your teeth, but a smile. “people always seem to be so intimidated by you, but i don’t really get it. you’ve always been so nice to me. it’s nice.”

she didn’t understand how even when you were all loopy, you still managed to have such an effect on her. hesitantly, she reached up to grab your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours.

it seemed the boldness from your anesthesia had rubbed off on her.

before she had time to talk, you continued. “i always feel so glad when we get paired up for missions, you make me feel so safe. like, i know when i’m around you that you’ll protect me. i admire you so much for doing all that for me.”

she went slightly stiff at your...confession? declaration? what exactly would you call that? you had said it so nonchalantly, whether it was out of trying to play off your fear of rejection or legitimate confidence, it was hard to tell.

“plus you’re really pretty.” your hand squeezed hers as you looked suddenly very interested in the pattern of your blanket. it was odd, seeing you get so shy all of a sudden, though she supposed it was somewhat of a win for her.

as you stared sheepishly away from her eyes that traced over every inch of your face, you felt her hand come up to your cheek, tilting you to face her. she continued scanning your face with an impossibly soft expression, before meeting your eyes once again.

“you know i wouldn’t do all that if it was anyone else.” her voice was barely above a whisper as her eyes bore into yours. her face was so close to yours that you could feel her breath fanning lightly across your face. “it’s all for you.” you’d never seen her so earnest before.

you smiled softly at her, even despite the ridiculous bandages around your head, and your chipmunk like cheeks, she still stared at you with so much love.

“you like meeee.” your tone was teasing, but it was obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes that you were just as whipped as her.

“dammit. you figured me out.” she said sarcastically, shuffling forward slightly so you were flush against her.

up close, the tiredness in your glassy eyes was obvious. she sighed to herself, and slowly leaned in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

“get some sleep.” she smiled at your eyes struggling to fight open your heavy eyelids. “we have a lot to talk about once the anesthesia wears off.”

maybe todo wasn’t so far off with that ‘lady killer’ comment.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #mai zenin x reader #mai zenin #zenin mai #zenin mai x reader #jjk headcanons #mai zenin imagine #mai zenin x you #jjk imagines

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ashdumpsterpile · 3 years

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I know you talk abou st*cky in the interracial ships stuff, but can we talk about st*ny? Iron husbands is literally right there, but I also always sees Rhodey as Tonys moral support only. And ik Tony is very shippable with most characters, but the fact his ship is Rhodey is one of the lowest ships in ao3 (ironstrange, winteriron and god forbid stark*r all had more fics in ao3).. It's pretty telling this side also has racism problems...

I'll go ahead and answer this here, but letting y'all know that I do have a marvel sideblog if you want to hit me up there (@themarvelarchives).

Hey, I'm going to ramble for a good minute.

So after I posted my very incoherent, controversial take on St*cky vs SamBucky, there were a ton of ppl who came onto anon saying that St*cky shippers were racist. I think I only answered a few, but y'all were pretty insistent on it. I personally have not observed that St*cky shippers are so I'm not calling anyone out on that side of the fandom for that.

I also did not call out anyone on this side of the fandom bc that's not what my meta was about. I think I mentioned maybe once or twice in the whole post that there was underlying racist in the fandom, but since you asked, we can talk about it here.

Covert Bigotry In Fandom Spaces.

To understand what's going on in the MCU, we have to first look at what I call "woke-queer" fandom.

So "Woke-Queer" Spaces is the phenomenon where certain fandom members like to call ppl out on their bigotry, while covertly harboring their own queerphobia/racism/etc. An example of this that we're all familiar with is TERFS and how they like to claim that they are progressive and woke, while also claiming that trans women are fake and trans men are sexist.

How this translates to fandom, however, is the hypocrisy that is cancellation and callout culture.

For example, Supernatural in particular is a fandom that likes to call out the writers on their homophobia and racism, and yet, somehow, the fandom is chalk full of homophobia and racism. If you want to read more about this, here is a truly excellent article from the perspective of a queer woman of color.

Moving on, I've also talked in a previous meta post, on the internalized acephobia that exploded in 2019 after Good Omens was released. Rather than reiterate everything I said in that post, I'll just leave it at this: the controversy in the Good Omens fandom can be summed up by the fact that queer audiences are claiming that Ineffable Husbands is the wrong kind of queer. The hypocrisy oozes off the screen, doesn't it?

A final way this viably translates to fandom, is in how the Doctor Who fandom evolved over time.

So Steven Moffat takes over as head writer and showrunner in 2010. It's a new series, a new Doctor, a new Tardis, and new branding. He steps up the action, changes the color grating, and raises the stakes. Women are sexier, the Doctor is smarter (and more of an asshole, but that's another meta post), and every companion comes with their own impossible mystery that makes them Special™.

Series 5-10 got tons of woke points for having lesbian characters, an episode where the Doctor is homoerotic with James Corden, and an underlying trans narrative with the Master's reincarnation. What a lot of people forget, however, is that his series was incredibly sexiest, incredibly lesbian/biphobic, and basically turned the Doctor into everyone's fantasy sex-object.

This, unfortunately, brought out the worst of the fandom. There was RTD Era vs Moffat Era wars exploding in certain corners, TenxRose shippers vs ElevenxRiver shippers.

What does this have to do with covert racism in fandom cultures though?

Hnnngng ok, so back in RTD era's we get Martha Jones, the Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show. Except for the fact, of course, that she is written to be in love with the doctor. She's a brilliant character--smart, sassy, flawed, funny, flirtatious--and her entire plotline is reduced down to a school-girl crush on a white man.

She doesn't do well with fans, they scrap her after one season.

We move on to Donna Noble (The Other Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show) and RTD's era ends with them scraping her too and regenerating David Tennant's Doctor.

It will be five more series (not seasons, SERIES) until Doctor Who will have another black companion--who gets extra points for being gay--only to fall victim to "bury your gays" at the end of the season (but not really bc no one stays dead on Doctor Who).

The fandom's reception of Martha Jones was historically bad. The comparisons to her predecessor, Rose Tyler, were rampant and everyone was finding a reason to hate her.

The fandom's reception to Bill Potts was also historically bad, as everyone was screaming that she was being written for more "woke points" and that they wanted Clara back.

Fandom has a historically bad reputation of being problematic and, I would argue, the majority of it has to do with these toxic undertones of bigotry that slip under the radar. "Woke-queer" spaces, as I call them, are these instances above where spaces that claim to be inclusive of gender/orientation/race are covertly bigoted.

Marvel and Cancelling

Now is an excellent time to talk about the MCU.

Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson) has recently come under a lot of criticism from fandom members for shutting down shipper speculation.

"The idea of two guys being friends and loving each other in 2021 is a problem because of the exploitation of homosexuality. [...] something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves."

I can't find the rest of the quote, but Mackie goes on further to say that it was important to him to portray "a sensitive, masculine figure" without insinuating that there was romance involved.

Woke culture lost it's shit. Everyone was suddenly claiming that Mackie was calling them exploitative for shipping a gay ship as a queer audience, which could not have been further from the case.

Mackie actually makes some very excellent points in that sensitivity is not gay/queer. Woke culture loves to rag on Toxic Masculinity, but the minute someone plays a character who is loving and sensitive with no queer narrative in mind, they are immediately canceled.

What Am I On About

Okay, let's actually address what your ask was about, Nonnie. You pointed out--rather truthfully--that it is unfair to call-out racism on one side of the fandom, while ignoring it on the other side.

Well, I've gone back through my St*cky vs. SamBucky analysis (which is incoherent at best, I apologize for that) and I see maybe once instance where I called out fandom members for being racist. Here's what I had to say about racism:

"[...] Iron Husbands is a rarepair, probably because it’s an interracial ship."

"[there is] nothing wrong with shipping two white men, but it does become a problem when you ignore/bash POC/interracial ships to the determinant of your own white ship."

And then there was the post you brought up where I addressed interracial ships in the fandom. That one is probably more relevant to this topic, to be honest, as I actually addressed fandom racism there. I assume that your reason for bringing up Stony is because it's a ship that is more relevant to my side of the fandom, HOWEVER, the reason I highlighted Stucky instead was because I was comparing the fact that they've both been around the same amount of time and are relationships that feature the protagonist and their best friend.

You brought up St*ny in the ask, however, so I'm going to talk about St*ny for a minute.

As someone who never has nor will ship St*ny, it never even occurred to me that some of the problem behind the Iron Husbands tag being so small is because everyone ships the white, boring ship. You brought up a very valid point, but because I was never in that part of the fandom, I can't really speak to any possible underlying racism there, besides what I've already said above.

I would be interested in hearing a St*ony shipper or ex-St*ony shippers thought on this, but sadly I don't know any. If you have any more thoughts regarding this, Nonnie, pls drop back into my inbox.

You do make some excellent points in this ask though, and I would like to talk about racism on my side of the fandom.

So back to Mackie and his Twitter cancellation. Notice that Disney made him address the rumors and not his co-star, Sebastian Stan. Anthony Mackie is put on blast and made to answer fan demands and receives backlash, while Sebastian Stan gets to fly under the rader. This is not, by the way, a criticism of Stan, but instead of the blatant racism Disney has been displaying over the past few years.

How this ties in with the rest of my post has to do with my "woke-queer" spaces bit. The outcry across the MCU fandom over Mackie was swift and unforgiving. He was cancelled on charges of homophobia and bigotry--all the while these same fans turn a blind eye to any queer interpretation of other interracial ships and discourse in their own fandom.

The racism that I'm speaking about, of course, is an almost passive racism. Of course if you don't ship a specific ship for reasons other than their race, it's perfectly fine. It's okay not to ship Iron Husbands or SamBucky or any other interracial fandom ships. However, the distinct lack of shippers in the fandom IS telling because there are people who would ship that exact ship if not for the fact that one of men is black.

I don't have much more to say about this except to thank you for bringing it up and for listening to my long rambling post.

(Feel free to bug me about Tony Stark, MCU ships, MCU Meta and anything you want to talk me about on this blog and @themarvelarchives.)

#this got long sorry #iron husbands #sambucky #james rhodes #tony stark #sam wilson #anthony mackie #doctor who #moffat critical #my meta #ash does meta #ash does fandom #marvel #mcu #fandom critical #fandom criticism #long post

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

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Hufflepuff Five is so good! Are the Hargreeves lives as students as adventurous like the main crew from HP? What about the Ministry of Magic? Would they get involved if someone caught wind of the sibling’s powers that weren’t just magic?

Their lives are SO wack honestly like, they just vibe. They just are going through their magical youth being absolute feral children who don’t trust adults as far as they can throw them while trying to hide their weird funky powers and also ravenously going through magical feats like they’re going out of style

Luther is every sibling’s go-to practice partner because apparently durability extends to being like? Slightly magic resistant? Basically if you hit Luther with a spell it will only be like, maybe half power? So the siblings use him as a magical shield half the time and an experiment the other half and Luther just Suffers Through This until it all goes wrong and he ends up as a werewolf, oops

(But at least Ben is alive! Honestly the only reason Luther wasn’t straight up mauled to death was a combo of his durability, Ben’s proficiency in healing magic, and Ben managing to befriend the acromantulas)

(Luther eventually gets a sense of humor about this after long years of working on accepting himself and constantly threatens to bite his siblings or makes comments about them looking extra tasty when they irritate him)

Allison is a quidditch star, super popular and athletic as all hell. She probably ends up being the Slytherin team captain, honestly. Allison is all glamor and charisma and in her later years of hogwarts has an absolute blast. Allison is very much functional passing so she’s usually the front man to get the professors off their backs, but she also is the front man for a lot of the shit that the family sell for extra spending money. Five and Ben might make potions, but Allison rules the underground black market in slytherin with an iron fist (which gets them into shenanigans involving other kids who Owe Debts)

Diego is on the gryffindor quidditch team and so him and Allison are constantly at each other’s throats on the pitch (Allison sometimes rumors him during matches when she gets within earshot which makes all of the siblings yell at him but she maintains that he gets to use his stupid powers to score points so she should get to as well). Diego gets roped into everything because he’s super soft. He starts a lot of fights because he has vigilante genes so he serves a lot of detentions. His house tolerates him losing them points because the man is a wizard with a quaffle

(Diego and Allison actually practice a lot together, which their respective teams are like HMMMM over but they’re siblings and slytherin knows that Allison would never hesitate to knock Diego off his broom and wave cheerily as he falls to his death, and gryffindor is aware that Diego can, should, and must throw a ball directly at Allison’s dumb face if she gets too close to him because of the Cain Instinct)

(Honestly Allison and Diego do a LOT for interhouse unity, showing that you can still be ride or die for each other while also wanting greatly to kill each other uwu)

Ben is too independent for his own good, which is what gets him into trouble. He likes gardening, and he likes herbs, and sometimes he’s just GOTTA go into the forbidden forest on a full moon to gather these very specific ingredients, c’mon. He also just. Likes spending time in the forbidden forest. He’s Hagrid’s favorite student because he doesn’t bat an eye at all the weird magical creatures, bc homeboy got an eldritch horror in his navel. Ben makes friends with the acromantulas (who have a healthy respect for him after the Horror ate a few of them), patiently avoids the centaurs, and bribes the pixies into giving him their shed wings through liberal application of jam stolen from the Hogwarts kitchens.

You know what Allison is functional passing and Ben is distinguished passing, all their teachers assume that Ben is the most put together of them but they’re WRONG. They haven’t seen Ben at two in the morning yanking Vanya out of ben because if they don’t break into greenhouse four and help those poor fucking plants the first years are tending to they’re all going to DIE and that’s not fair??? ben is single handedly going to save all those poor plants (and all those first year’s grades)

Vanya is just VIBING, he ends up coming out as trans in fourth year and gets to be roommates with Ben which is pretty sweet. If only Ben didn’t drag him into shenanigans?? All the teachers are like “ah yes Vanya, such a quiet boy not like his siblings at all” but Vanya can will should and must climb onto the roof of the astronomy tower to play his violin because He Just Likes To Be Tall. Vanya once punched a snobby ravenclaw kid in the nose and then stared them down saying “the teachers will never believe you.”

Vanya steals Luther to practice his powers with in unused classrooms the most?? he’s durable. he’ll be fine if Vanya blasts him into a wall with his powers lol

Vanya’s solution to all their problems is “do you want me to blow it up with my powers?” or “do you want me to kill them for you?”

(All of the siblings now refuse to duel with Vanya except for Luther bc Vanya is RUTHLESS. He WILL murder his siblings (almost) given the chance. They’re all so lucky that Ben is so good at healing and carries extra vials of healing potions on his person otherwise Madame Pomfrey would be VERY CONCERNED)

Five and Klaus probably get into the most shenanigans? Klaus gets less and less afraid of ghosts the more he runs into nice ones like Fred Weasley. Fred also lovingly nurtures Klaus’s absolutely terrible sense of humor and encourages him to prank the whole school. Klaus knows ALL the secret passageways thanks to Fred, a previous owner of the Maurauder’s map, so he’s just like. Constantly in the walls. He once dropped out of the ceiling to get to transfiguration in time and nobody even commented on it because Klaus is just Like That.

(A few people see Klaus’s boney elbows and knobbley knees and thinks he’s a good target for bullying just because he’s a slytherin and interhouse awfulness absolutely it at an all time high so recently after the war. YEAH his siblings step in and put the fear of god into any bullies, but Klaus fights like a cornered raccoon.)

Five is just way too smart and curious for his own good. He likes to poke around, figure things out, and also make money. Five does people’s homework, charges them for potions or rune work, tutors, dismantles shit in the chamber of secrets, ALSO explores the secret passageways (and finds some that weren’t on the map), is lovingly bullied into Friendship Activities with his housemates, breaks into the other houses’s common rooms for funsies, and keeps getting fed by the house elves who found out he can ‘apparate’ like them (without a wand) and have apparently adopted him against his will

Five is the sibling who has his fingers in like. ALL the pies. and just constantly pops up and drags them into things. Five will be helping Klaus with potions homework then glance up and tell Diego he’s cashing in the favor he’s owed for carving runes into Diego’s knives and that Diego now gets to break into Douglas Eddington’s room to steal back Lana Delwich’s diary so that Five can trade it to Lana for her rare Solomon Babik chocolate frog card which Five can give to Barnaby Beeson in exchange for a Large Distraction of Five’s Choice and a sketchy book on ward breaking which Five needs so he can break into the headmaster’s office to get a confiscated dark magic book that has some information Five needs to alter a potion that he’s probably going to make Luther drink later

Five is the sibling who is like “Ugh, I thought I was trading for some nundu ingredients but now i have a Whole Baby Nundu in the basement :/”

Which, of course, Klaus wants to keep despite the poison breath.

“This is literally one of the most dangerous magical creatures, we are not keeping it.” Luther says, unimpressed. However, he definitely has it cradled in his arms and makes kissy faces at it when he thinks no one is looking. (Apparently baby toxic nundu breath only makes Luther sneeze, so there’s that?)

“If you guys are arrested for smuggling I am not bailing you out.” Is Allison’s only decree about the matter.

Honestly I wouldn’t be shocked if someone DID eventually find out about one of the siblings’ powers - however, they would come to entirely the wrong conclusion about them?? Because this is a world of MAGIC and so everything magical has to have a magical explanation, right???

Luther is durable as all fuck???? Uhhhhh maybe he has some like. Troll blood or giant blood something back in his family line, obviously not something he would ever want the world to know about bc of species-ism

Allison can make you do whatever you want with her words????? Maybe she’s part veela? With that charm appeal?

Five is doing. Wandless apparation?? I mean, that’s rare as FUCK but wandless magic is,,, grudgingly accepted though it’s usually only used for small or very familiar spells and not usually something as complex as apparation but OKAY just sit him down and forbid him from doing it anymore bc boy boutta be SPLICED or some shit

Klaus can. Klaus can talk to ghosts. Who are not full ghosts. Hmm. huh. Maybe it’s?? A family ability??? a super rare one? like being a metamorphagus? (What the fuck??????? what the FUCK???????)

Primarily the kids started off paranoid because they believed that their abilities indicated that they weren’t the same type of magic, and they didn’t want to be returned to their father, and then it progressed into “these abilities might make people scared of us (looking at you allison, with your imperius-ass abilites)” or “we can’t afford that kind of scrutiny or curiosity about our powers (they might find out luther is a werewolf or something idk)” and “if we are ‘desirable’ children with ‘rare abilities’ the government might try to split us up and adopt us into weird pureblood families or something OR might try to lock us up (like where would they even put Ben??)”

honestly if ben ever got found out he’d just deadpan “it’s a curse, hand me the black wormroot would you?” and be like “oh yeah it’s under control i just go vibe in the woods every so often and rip up a tree or something. I think the horror wants to be the whomping willow when it grows up actually, so just don’t get too close when i’m in the horror zone. if you can live with a murder tree on campus you can live with me on campus”

someone sees vanya fuck something up with his powers and is like ???? and Vanya is just like “accidental magic lol”

“aren’t you... a bit... old for accidental magic...”

“accidental. magic.”

#hogwarts au #they get into so many shenanigans op you have no idea #honestly they probably get a lot looser with publically using their powers #except for allison #she keeps a lock on that shit bc it's an azkaban sentence for using imperius babie #also yes vanya is trans in the hogwarts au now sorry i don't make the rules #congrats elliot page for coming out #i'll probably vary between my aus what is going on with vanya but hogwarts au vanya is trans #he shares a room with ben and gets dragged along to help ben break into greenhouses #five has put himself in charge of getting funds for their futures #because they might survive on the hogwarts orphan fund right now but what about AFTER diego #allison is going to become a famous quidditch player so she doesn't care #but the REST of them???#allison is a jock and you can pry that from my cold dead hands #they have less 'take down the government' school shenanigans #more 'magical school that can kill you' type things #and also whatever shady shit five has gotten into #the slytherins have given up keeping five out of their common room #someone: what have you got there?#ben with the horror out gesturing with a tentacle: a smoothie #luther about being a werewolf: i'm a MONSTER #five: and WHERE was this attitude when you ate my last jar of marshmallow fluff?#the siblings are all just. immune to bullshit now honestly #long post #far tua long #Anonymous

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i-want-my-iwtv · 2 years

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Hi, librarian/bookseller anon here: to clarify, I wasn't saying ANYTHING related to fand over 25, I'm well over that age. But since previous commentators were saying how young people don't read anymore, i was trying to highlight the fact that yes, they do read, voraciously and passionately.

Thank you for clarification! I really appreciate your input on this, if you could come off anon and message me privately, I'd be interested to pick your brain a little further on this, but no pressure ;)

But since previous commentators were saying how young people don't read anymore, i was trying to highlight the fact that yes, they do read, voraciously and passionately.

I'm really happy to hear that, personally. I've recently met a number of young people, under 25, and you know... it's easy to make assumptions but when you actually experience someone from a demographic outside your own, and just talk with them, you realize your assumptions were wrong.

On Thurs this week, I found myself chatting with an amazingly talented guy, 21 yrs old, at a bowling alley, his average is like 200+ which means he's mostly getting strikes and spares! D was really considerate and easy to talk with, and we were talking about Blade Runner 2049 vs. the original Blade Runner. D saw '2049 first, so it's a similar situation to a TV series adaptation being a gateway to the original media: the recent one made him curious to go check out the original. It allowed us to have a conversation comparing both, he might not have ever seen the original if he hadn't been drawn to it by the recent one!

---

Sorry to belabor the point, but I think there was a slight miscommunication, it didn't appear to me that anyone in the thread was saying that ppl under 25 don't read; the age demographic wasn't mentioned until the 3rd anon message:

1st anon expressed disappointment that they don't perceive ppl as reading books anymore, but didn't specify the age group (other than, "since high school", so somewhere over 18, I assume).*

2nd anon expressed that ppl shouldn't prejudge whether ppl will read the books or not, and in fact was discouraged from reading the books bc of elitist fans of the canon material.

3rd anon (librarian/bookseller anon, you!) expressed that adults do read books, and that half your customers are under 25, and they read, too!

4th anon expressed that "for the record i wasn’t solely referring [to] the under 25 demographic" and that "no but for real there’s exactly one infant in my family and friend group right now, otherwise we’re all 25+. i understand some people don’t think you’re worth anything past that age, as a person or a fan. it sucks.", so they were talking about adults not reading the books.

*Reading it initially, it sounded to me like 1st anon was talking about people who are on the young side, bc "the world is going to shit and people read less and less everyday." seemed to refer to how the younger generations appear to have shorter attention spans, but the age group wasn't specified in that ask. I think that initial anon may have returned as the 4th anon to clarify the age group they say don't read as being over 25.

But, 1st anon, I say to you that 3rd anon (librarian/bookseller) wasn't saying that ppl over 25 don't read, or are worthless! They might have read your initial ask, and assumed, like I did, that you were referring to a younger demographic, but their very first sentence was: "Fans of the show will read the books, even if only adult fans enjoy them." Highlighting that half of their customers are under 25 doesn't diminish that first point, to me, it shows that half are under 25, and half are over 25, neither category being worthless.

I hope that helps!

#iwtv amc #anon #thank you!#books #reading #clarification

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12tardis · 4 years

Text

Empire Line (Part 1/?)

Warnings: none

Summary: Newt has been in love with you since your second year at Hogwarts. You have been in love with Newt for nearly as long. You’re both ridiculously oblivious and you think he has feelings for Tina. Will Newt set the record straight before he loses you for good?

Pairings: Newt Scamander x Reader, Reader x OC (super brief)

A/N: Sooooooo this is part 1 of ? maybe 2 or 3 I really really really hope you like it bc I’ve slaved over this one. I’ve been wanting to write something more than just one shots for a while but my self esteem hit rock bottom this last couple months and that has bled over into my writing- hence why I’ve been so absent on here I’m so sorry fam ☹ In my head, this is a companion piece to I’m Gonna Keep You In Love With Me , it’s their origin story. Pls let me know your thoughts! I’d love to know what you think or where you think it’s headed. What do we think of Alistair?... Title: Empire Line by The National - literally listened to this on repeat while writing this

Taglist (I LOVE YALL): @auror-lovie @moonkissk7 @sagittarius-flowerchild @fishdonttouch @cal-ifornication @haileygarciasunshine

You had been completely in love with your best friend Newt Scamander since your school days at Hogwarts. You two had been inseparable since you first met and were now living together in a shared flat in London as you had been for the past few years since graduation.

You had tried to make your feelings known several times over the span of your friendship but Newt was either oblivious or pretending to be so he didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of turning you down. You thought it was the former but as the years drew on you grew suspicious because how could one person be so completely clueless?

The unrequited love was recently becoming harder and harder for you to push aside. Your heart ached with every letter he exchanged with your dear friend Tina and your stomach knotted every time he would mention her in passing.

At the end of the day his happiness was all that mattered to you and if Tina was the one to bring him that then you would accept it. You just weren’t sure how you would bear it when they finally did get together.

Maybe it was time for you to move on and open your heart up to other possibilities. Merlin knows there’d been plenty of willing men ever the years, but you’d always held out hope that the love of your life would one day return your feelings.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to settle for someone else.

Once you finished your cup of tea you set the empty mug in the sink and grabbed your handbag before you left the flat, starting the journey to your workplace. Walking through the streets distractedly you thought over all the times you had tried to tell Newt how you felt.

The most recent time was when you’d been standing beside him a few months ago, posing for a photo for the newspaper at one of his book signings. You were so immensely proud of Newt for his hard work and dedication in pursuing his passion despite everyone that had ridiculed him for it throughout his life.

You had accompanied him in his travels while he wrote the book and had only fallen more in love with your best friend as you watched him in his element. And you thought maybe he may have returned your feelings considering he’d dedicated the book to you. Even his brother Theseus had dropped a couple of not-so-subtle hints your way regarding you and his younger brother.

So, as you stood beside him a few months ago at his first book signing you held his hand tightly in your own. You were pressed close to him and beaming with pride for the camera and you caught yourself glancing up at him where he stood beside you. He looked so uncomfortable and nervous in front of the camera but at the same time he was just so ridiculously handsome. You continued to gaze up at him adoringly after the photographer had moved on, squeezing his hand.

“I love you.”

You uttered the words before you could even stop yourself. It just felt so right and after everything that had happened over the past few months you were certain you had ‘something’. But when he looked back down at you with a crooked smile and squeezed your shoulder casually you felt a sinking sensation in your stomach.

“I love you too,” he said back with such ease that you just knew he only meant it as a friend. Your smile dropped for a split second, but you quickly composed yourself, letting go of his hand.

“Aaaaand I’m going to go find myself a drink,” you said in a fake bright voice, leaving him behind, completely unaware of the way he was staring after you yearningly.

What you didn’t see was the older woman that stepped over to him telling him that you were a lovely couple. And you definitely didn’t see the way he smiled back at the woman, thanking her softly as he continued to look at your retreating figure.

People were always mistaking you for a couple. It had been a regular occurrence since you were 5th years but unbeknownst to you - Newt had recently stopped correcting people when they made the same assumption. Instead opting to smile warmly in response and allow himself to get lost in the illusion for the briefest moment.

- - - - - -

You sighed to yourself as you reminisced on the memory, slipping your apron over your head once you arrived at work. That particular moment had taken you a good few weeks to get over.

Were you that undesirable to Newt that he didn’t even consider the possibility of you harbouring romantic feelings for him beyond friendship?

And then there’d been the numerous events you’d asked him to over the years.

You had been the one to ask him to the Yule Ball in your 6th year.

You’d asked him to attend your brother's wedding with you a few years after.

Once again you’d asked him to go as your date with you to a cocktail ball your work company held just the previous year.

And each and every time he knocked you back. His excuses ranged from: ‘it’s not my scene’, to ‘Pickett is under the weather’. And each rejection hurt more than the last.

To his credit though, he did eventually change his mind each time and always ended up being the best plus one there ever was. But that didn’t quite erase the embarrassment and heartache you felt every time he turned you down.

Just last week you’d asked him to go with you to your old school friend’s wedding. You’d thought he’d agree easily this time as Sarah was a mutual Hufflepuff friend of both of yours and she and Newt had always gotten along but he’d simply told you, “I’ll think about it,” before he had scurried off to his bedroom.

“Excuse me, are you open yet?” You snapped out of your musings once more when you heard the first customer for the day enter the shop, plastering a bright smile on your face. You were determined to have a good day.

- - - - - -

Newt walked into the kitchen shortly after you’d left for the day, frowning when he saw you had indeed left without saying goodbye and that you’d forgotten your lunch too.

He was worried about you lately. You usually always wished him a good day before you headed off anywhere and you hadn’t done so a couple of times now during the last few weeks. You also appeared to be forgetting meals here and there too.

You had been uncharacteristically quiet since the two of you had returned back from New York and Newt figured you must have been upset about leaving behind Queenie and Tina.

He knew how much you had bonded with the Goldstein sisters and he’d tried his best to cheer you up but everything he tried appeared to be futile as the smile would disappear from your face after a few moments and you’d just go back to tending to your plants or reading your books.

The only thing that seemed to grab your attention was when he would talk about Tina so he found himself mentioning the other woman most days, feeling a sense of relief when you would actually utter more than a few words in response. But something still seemed off.

He didn’t have the slightest clue about the heart ache you felt each time he uttered the other woman’s name.

Newt grabbed your lunch off of the counter and made his way to your workplace, figuring he could grab some things from the nearby grocers afterwards. He was planning to cook your favourite meal for dinner in the hopes to cheer you up a bit and maybe ask if there was something upsetting you recently.

Smiling to himself when he arrived at the small plant nursery where you worked, he leaned in the doorframe as he watched you tend to the plants, humming quietly to yourself. He saw you happy and at ease for the first time in weeks and he couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face at seeing you huff in annoyance when you couldn’t reach one of the hanging plants, stretching up onto your toes to try and reach the offending plant. How could one person be so adorable?

He was just about to step in and retrieve it for you when another gentleman walked over to you, resting a hand on your waist as he leant over you to grab the planter down. The smile dropped from Newt’s face immediately as he watched this man grin down at you, still completely in your personal space.

The mystery man set the plant down on the counter in front of you and Newt felt bile rise in his throat at the giggle you let out when the man leant in even closer to you, brushing some soil from your face. He was obviously a co-worker of yours and Newt felt awful because he should have been happy that you were happy, considering your previous co-worker had been horrible to you but when he saw the way the other guy still had his hand on your waist he felt nothing but jealousy.

Who was this guy?

Why hadn’t you told him you had a new co-worker?

You usually told him everything.

He thought you told him everything.

And WHY was the guy still gripping your waist like that?

Jealousy. It was a rare feeling for him to experience but it definitely wasn’t a new one. He’d experienced it every time someone had come along over the years and dared to look at you a little too long, or touch you with too much familiarity.

And every time, he felt like the world's biggest ass because he knew he didn’t have some claim to you. You weren’t some prize to be won or fought over, and yet here he was, gritting his teeth as he watched the other man make you laugh and swoon, just like he wished he could.

It took him back to the very first time he’d experienced the wrath of the green-eyed monster when you were 3rd years at Hogwarts.

- - - - - -

Newt was rushing towards the common room to find you with the new Pixie he’d just found hidden in his robes. He was excited to show you his discovery because you’d been particularly fascinated in the pixies when you’d studied them in class but as he stepped into the common room he was entirely unprepared for the sight that greeted him.

Pierce Brixley, one of the popular Hufflepuff 5th years, was gripping your shoulders and saying something to you with a megawatt smile on his face.

He couldn’t quite make out what either of you were saying as he made his way towards you, pausing in his tracks when Pierce leant in and planted an eager kiss on your cheek. Newt then felt a foreign twisting sensation in his stomach as he watched you lift a hand to your cheek to brush over where Pierce’s lips had just been, laughing while you waved to the older boy as he turned to leave.

“You saved my life, Y/N!”, Pierce called out to you over his shoulder as he rushed to leave the room. Newt noticed the other boy had a potted plant grasped in his hands.

“Oh, hi Newt!”, he grinned but Newt simply nodded at him wordlessly, watching him leave the common room in a rush.

He didn’t know what this strange feeling was that had just washed over him. Newt really liked Pierce. The older Hufflepuff had gotten him out of strife with some of his bullies several times and had even offered to help him with his studies from time to time.

So why did Newt suddenly feel the urge to jinx him?

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you since Charms”, you beamed at him, practically bounding over to him and tipping your head aside at the blank expression he wore.

“What was that about?”, he asked, completely ignoring your earlier statement, feeling a twitch of annoyance when you frowned at him in confusion “with Pierce,” he quickly clarified.

“Oh! Right that,” you laughed, shaking your head.

“He was panicking yesterday because it’s his girlfriend's birthday tomorrow and he accidentally squashed the Puffapod he’d gotten for her but it was fine because I found some growing out by the pumpkin patch- remember that time?”, you barely paused for breath, waiting for him to nod in affirmation.

“Yeah so I just gave him a new one that I dug up today. And now I have a sad but still hopeful Puffapod of my own to nurse!” You smiled as you held up the crushed and wilted flower for him to see.

And just like that the foreign sensation in his gut was gone and he felt normal again.

“So, I got him out of a pickle apparently but I’m not too sure about that because I don’t know who in their right mind thinks a Puffapod is a romantic gift! They make you dizzy if you mishandle them, did you know that? I certainly wouldn’t appreciate that as a gift.”

You rambled on so quickly that Newt was struggling to keep up, but he couldn’t stop his growing smile because he absolutely loved listening and watching you go off on tangents. You were so passionate about plants and flowers and he utterly adored the way your eyes would light up when you got carried away talking about them.

He gazed back at you as you continued to talk about the qualities of a Puffpod while you inspected the plant in your hands, trailing your fingers over the foliage.

“So, what kind of gift would you appreciate then?” he chuckled, smiling softly back at you and you blinked back at him because it wasn’t really something you had thought about.

“Uh...just something that shows genuine thought and care I guess- WAIT is that a Pixie?!”

- - - - - -

Newt was broken out of his daydreaming when he heard you laugh once more, and he cleared his throat when he decided you had spent way too long gazing back at the mystery man.

He gritted his teeth when said man was the one to turn to greet him while you went back to watering the plants, not noticing his presence in the shop.

“Hi there! How can I help you today?”, your co-worker said brightly, heading around the counter towards Newt.

Newt held up the lunch bag in his hand. “I came to see Y/N”, he said flatly, so flatly that he almost didn’t recognise his own voice.

Newt stared at you desperately feeling some of the tension leave him when you looked up to see him, a bright smile appearing on your face not a moment later.

“Newt!”

You smiled happily at him instinctively. You were always happy to see him, that much had never changed. It was just when you pictured him with Tina that that miserable shadow would fall over you again.

You cocked your head aside as you bounded over to him and Newt was entirely distracted by the sensation of his heart swelling on his chest at the sight of you, looking just like you did that time in your 3rd year.

Your lips parted when you recognised he was holding your lunch that you hadn’t even realised you’d forgotten. “Oh goodness, I totally forgot. Thank you, Newt! What would I do without you?”, you pecked him on the cheek quickly as you took the bag from him.

Newt blushed as he usually would at your affection, but he also felt a small sense of pride when he noticed the way your co-worker’s eyebrows shot up at the kiss.

“Starve probably,” he answered with a teasing smile, pausing when he spotted some lingering soil on your cheek that the other man had obviously failed to brush away.

He lifted his hand without a moment's hesitation and slowly and gently thumbed away the remaining dirt from your skin. Not noticing the way you held your breath and leant into his touch instinctively.

“I’ll see you later”, Newt murmured, dropping his hand quickly when he realised how long he’d been staring at you. He allowed his hand to brush down your arm, squeezing your hand in his own momentarily before he stepped away from you.

“Have a good day, Y/N,” he called looking back at you once he was in the doorway, simply nodding at your co-worker before he left the shop.

That evening when you arrived home to find Newt preparing your favourite meal for dinner, you’d felt a small spark of hope flourish in your chest, wondering if maybe he was trying to be romantic. Especially after that moment in the shop.

The meal was perfect, and you were sat there gazing back at Newt adoringly with your chin resting in your palm while he told you about his day with the creatures.

He paused in his ramblings as he got up “oh I nearly forgot, Tina wrote us both,” he grabbed two envelopes from the kitchen counter, passing you yours with a wide smile.

And just like that you felt all your hopes fade away once again. This time it really hurt to see the soft smile on his lips as he looked down at his own letter that looked considerably thicker than yours.

Of course it would be thicker than yours.

They were probably writing full romantic essays back and forth by now.

You plastered on a smile of resignation, pocketing your own letter and going straight to your bedroom once you’d finished cleaning up. Having no idea that Tina had actually written to Newt in great detail of all the reasons why she felt he needed to share his feelings for you.

- - - - - -

Newt had read over Tina’s letter at least a dozen times over the following week, knowing logically that everything the woman had written was true.

‘I know you’re nervous. Especially after all this time but you’ve known Y/N for so long now you know she would never ridicule you or lash out at you.

You should make the most of all the precious time you have together. Our time is never promised, I learnt that with the passing of my parents and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to tell them how much I loved them.

I can’t tell you for sure how she will respond but you will be able to finally rest without wondering what could be. Be brave Newt.’

He’d been re-reading that specific page over and over again and he was finally building a plan in his head of how he was going to tell you.

There had been so many moments over the years when he’d nearly told you of his feelings. The words had truly been on the very tip of his tongue more times than he could count.

But every time he grew anxious and backed out, promising himself he’d tell you ‘next time’.

The most recent time had been just a fortnight earlier when you’d been down in his case with him.

He went to the markets to fetch you a box of your favourite pastries and a bouquet of your favourite flowers, planning to present them to you when you got home from work. He had set the sweets and flowers in his study to give to you later before he’d headed down to check on the creatures, running through what he would say to you in his head as he cleaned around the enclosures.

“Newt?”, he startled when he heard your voice call for him because you weren’t due home for another hour. He looked up in time to see you coming down the stairs towards him.

“You will not believe who’s getting married!”, you said excitedly, waving the opened wedding invitation in front of his face “Sarah! Oh I’m so excited, it’s next month and the venue is incredible. Please come with me? Please?” you rambled on quickly.

Newt felt the courage to tell you of his feelings completely disappearing as he looked back at you and how beautiful you looked gushing excitedly over the wedding of your mutual Hufflepuff friend. “I-I’ll think about it,” he stammered, turning his attention back to his creatures because he simply couldn’t trust himself to look at you any longer without blurting out everything he had on his mind.

He was so focused on managing his own emotions that he was entirely oblivious to the hurt that washed over your features and the dejected way you slumped your shoulders before you left him alone in his case.

That evening he ended up tossing the pastries to Dougal and leaving the flowers on the doorstep of your workplace for you to find the next day, figuring it wouldn’t be too strange for a floral bouquet to show up at a plant and floral shop.

- - - - - -

The next time he worked up the courage to tell you how he felt wasn’t for another two weeks. The weeks had passed rather uneventfully as you both had continued on in your usual routines.

It was that morning as he watched you feeding the Mooncalves with the sweetest smile on your lips and Pickett perched on your shoulder that he decided he was going to try and tell you again.

You had seemed to perk up again recently so he took that as a good sign and once you’d left for work that day he once again went to buy you your favourite flowers and even booked a table at one of the restaurants you’d been nagging him to go to. Yes, he was going to put himself entirely out of his comfort zone tonight if it meant winning your heart.

Time got away from him though as he did a few other errands and got caught up in a menswear shop when he decided on a whim that he was going to buy a nice suit that you would hopefully like. He recalled you telling him how much you liked him in blue, so he was feeling quite confident with himself as he wandered back to the flat with his new blue suit and your flowers in hand.

It was 5.30 now. You would most likely be home from work but he figured that still gave you both ample time to get ready for dinner and enough time for him to plan out what he was going to say to you like he hadn’t already been rehearsing all day.

But his newfound confidence dissipated immediately as he approached the front door, hearing your voice and a distinct male voice that he didn’t recognise. Just like that he felt every last drop of courage drain from his body as he stepped into the flat and saw the very same co-worker from a few weeks ago.

He was sitting at the dining room table smiling back at you while you had your head tipped back in laughter at something that he’d said.

- - - - - -

Completely unbeknownst to Newt you had spent the last two weeks trying your very hardest to train your heart out of beating erratically every time you saw your best friend smile. Or stopping your stomach from doing somersaults every time he looked back at you with a little too much interest.

Sure, you loved him more than anything or anyone, but you simply couldn’t take any more of listening to him gush on and on about Tina. You knew it was time for you to move on.

So, you had to get over him and that meant turning your attention to your co-worker, Alistair. He was handsome, he was flirty, he was passionate about plants like you and most importantly he was into you.

You were still down in the dumps from Newt turning down your invite to Sarah’s wedding as you walked to work the next day but as you stepped towards the shop the most incredible bouquet of flowers sat waiting for you against the shop door. You felt your chest tighten as you scooped up the arrangement, seeing it was all your favourites.

“Blegh, who puts sunflowers with peonies and ranunculi?” Alistair said from beside you, having just arrived. You looked back at him suspiciously.

“...they’re my favourite flowers,” you said slowly, watching him closely because you were certain he’d heard you telling a customer that much just a few days ago.

“Oh, I knew that, I was just joking” Alistair played it off casually with a wink and such a charming smile that you were convinced he’d been the one to leave them for you.

When he set his hand on your waist and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek you were certain it had been him.

Who else could it be?

- - - - - -

“Oh hi, Newt! This is Alistair I’m not sure you’ve met properly yet,” you said brightly when you noticed Newt had arrived home, gesturing to the man sitting across from you. Alistair looked Newt up and down, keeping a pleasant smile on his face as he eyed the flowers Newt had tucked under his arm. Almost an exact replica of the bouquet from the other week, just in a different colour arrangement.

“Pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard plenty about you,” he said smoothly, holding his hand out to Newt.

Newt shook Alistair’s hand begrudgingly, feeling completely intimidated by just how classically handsome and built the other man was. He could never compare.

“Nice flowers you got there,” Alistair nodded at the bouquet just as you jumped to your feet excitedly, finally noticing the flowers.

“Uh...yeah I just found these on the doorstep,” Newt lied, holding the flowers out to you and stiffening at the calculating look Alistair was now giving him.

You blinked a few times as you took the stunning bouquet from Newt, whipping your head aside to look at Alistair.

“I KNEW it was you!”, you said happily as you poked a finger into Alistair’s chest, completely missing the look of confusion that passed over his face for a fleeting moment.

And missing the look of alarm Newt was giving you.

“You tried to pretend you didn’t know what my favourite flowers were! When did you even have the time to put them there?”, you giggled, truly thinking Alistair had managed to pull off such a romantic feat.

Newt gritted his teeth, feeling the strongest flare of jealousy yet when he saw Alistair quickly compose himself and plaster that stupid smug smirk back on his face “well I had them delivered of course,” he lied smoothly as his eyes flicked to Newt.

The two men locked eyes for a moment. Alistair was silently challenging Newt to tell you otherwise. Newt glanced back at you, opening his mouth to protest but he stopped himself just as quickly when he saw the happy glimmer in your eyes.

He just didn’t have the heart to ruin your good mood especially considering how down you had been lately.

So what if you thought the flowers came from Alistair? It was a harmless misunderstanding, right?

Not a moment later you were pressing a kiss to Alistair’s cheek and Newt was gritting his teeth again.

You wandered away to find a vase for the flowers, leaving the two men alone to just stare at each other. Alistair looked back at Newt and the stony expression he now wore, clearing his throat after a moment.

“I should really get going, Y/N,” he called out, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on Newt, another fake smile gracing his lips when you turned to look at him.

“It was nice to meet you, Newt.”

Alistair walked over to you and Newt wanted to die as he watched him press a kiss to the top of your head and saw the shy smile you gave him in return.

Newt briefly considered throwing the damn bouquet into his case for the creatures to feast on when you went to see Alistair off but when you returned to the room, he felt a horrible sense of guilt settle in his chest. You looked so happy and touched by the notion and he just didn’t have the will to wipe that smile from your face.

Would you have been so happy if you’d known who they were truly from?

Probably not.

“He seems nice,” he murmured quietly, staring back at you desperately and hoping you would realise the truth. But when you nodded your head in response, he knew it was a pointless hope.

“Yeah he’s lovely. He’s uh, a bit of a handful sometimes but he’s really sweet and he doesn’t get bored of all my plant talk,” you laughed, looking back at Newt, nodding at the bag he had in his hand “what did you buy?”

“Oh, just some stuff for in the case,” he lied quickly, forcing a smile at you before he walked away, pretending that his heart wasn’t in total shambles.

He decided it didn’t matter who the flowers were really from. All that mattered was that you were happy.

- - - - - -

Another week passed and Newt didn’t hear or see anything more of Alistair much to his relief. Strangely, you appeared to have slipped back into your more quiet subdued self and Newt was worried again.

Had Alistair done something to upset you maybe?

In actual fact you’d been wallowing for a few days now since you’d happened to glimpse one of Newt’s letters from Tina, mistakenly thinking it was yours.

‘Newt,

There is so much to admire about you. You are handsome and inspiring and truly one of a kind. I know Queenie agrees with me on this. Don’t sell yourself short. Much love,

Tina

Not only were you completely unaware that the true intention of the letter was more of a friendly pep talk on Tina’s behalf after Newt had written to her about his failure in telling you his feelings and detailing how charming Alistair was comparatively. But you were also hurt to think that Newt had neglected to tell you that he and Tina had made things official.

Sure, the letter was a little lacklustre and you could think of roughly two thousand things to add to the list of things to admire about Newt, but it was still clearly a letter between two people holding affection for one another.

It wasn’t an idea you really wanted to accept yet, so you decided the safest course of action for your bruised heart was to limit your time with Newt. So as a result, you’d been busying yourself throughout the week with your garden.

He would tell you about his new relationship with Tina when he was ready, and you would smile and support him like a good friend.

You’d been up in your bedroom all morning and Newt was concerned so he set about making you a cup of tea deciding he would go and check on you but he nearly dropped the mug in his hand when you came sweeping into the kitchen, dressed up to the nines in the most magnificent dress he’d never seen before.

Your lips were painted to perfection and your hair was styled to frame your face. His chest was aching from your sheer beauty.

“Y/N, you look...incredible,” he breathed, his mouth agape as he looked back at you. “What’s...what’s the occasion?”, he managed to ask eventually, moving closer to you instinctively.

You were completely taken aback by his reaction and his sweet words because he almost looked...awed? You shook the thought away, remembering the letter from Tina and frowned at him.

“It’s Sarah’s wedding? Remember you were invited? I told you about it last month?”, you walked away from him when the doorbell rang, and Newt stared after you helplessly.

Had Sarah’s wedding seriously snuck up that quickly?

Why hadn’t you mentioned it to him again?

Usually you would remind him of such events with a few weeks’ notice, giving him plenty of time to get his act together.

He felt his stomach drop and he understood exactly why you hadn’t mentioned the wedding to him again when he saw you pull the front door open, revealing a fancy suit-clad Alistair. You were taking a practical stranger as your date to the wedding of one of your oldest friends and boy did that feel like a kick in the guts.

“Y/N, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to out-shine the bride on her wedding day?”, Alistair said loudly as he walked into the apartment, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. Newt rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might roll right out of his head.

“Oh, you won’t be saying that when you see Sarah. She’s actual perfection”, you smiled back at Alistair bashfully.

“I highly doubt there is going to be a single lady who can hold a candle to you today”, Alistair smirked, and Newt grit his teeth because that was something he could actually agree upon but just the way the other man was leering at you as he said it had Newt wanting to cover you up in one of his long coats. They always did swim on your frame.

Alistair eventually stopped his leering long enough to thrust a huge bouquet of flowers into your face. You raised your eyebrows because this time it was a giant bouquet of red roses.

“I thought it was about time to change it up a little, don’t you think?”, Alistair smiled, reaching out to toy with a strand of your hair, making Newt want to break his hand.

When you just stared at the roses wordlessly Alistair pressed a kiss to your cheek “I think Roses are much better suited to a lady such as yourself. Elegant, beautiful and the flower of romance.”

As you took the bouquet from Alistair and offered him a thankful smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes Newt found himself being thrown back into his Hogwarts days when he’d first learned the truth of why you didn’t like roses.

- - - - - -

“Now remember this spell will only heal minor injuries. Anything beyond that and I highly suggest that you still take a visit to the hospital wing.” Professor Jamieson’s dry voice carried through the classroom.

“Now repeat after me ep-PIS-kee...Episkey. Good.”

Newt was sat beside you in charms class during your second year, fidgeting with his quill nervously as he prayed the Professor wouldn’t call on him to demonstrate for the class.

Professor Jamieson had a penchant for making the entire class demonstrate their pronunciation and wand motions and it was often a source of great embarrassment for Newt as he would stutter when the entire class was watching him.

Newt groaned quietly from his spot beside you when the teacher did just that and he began to bounce his knee nervously as the students began to take turns one by one.

He blinked in surprise when you lay your hand on his knee. You offered him a smile of comfort and he felt his nerves melt away for a moment as he found himself getting lost in your eyes and the soft curve of your lips.

That moment was short lived though as the Professor had the class begin to recite the spell and the motion one by one.

He desperately whispered the spell to himself under his breath, but of course once it was his turn he froze, staring down at his desk as he fumbled with his wand.

Everyone’s eyes were on him as you nudged him gently and the Professor called on him again.

“...Ep-p-p...p-pisskey,” his flushed deep red right to his ears as one Colin Fligshaw guwaffed with laughter, already mocking Newt from the back of the classroom.

“P-p-p-p please Professor! I only speak FREAK!”, Colin mocked, and Newt sat in complete humiliation wanting nothing more than to disappear as the other students began to laugh along.

That was until you threw your ink pot with shocking accuracy, hitting Colin in the middle of his head and sending the ink all over the boy and his robes “Merlin, YOU’RE A GIT, FLIGSHAW!”

Your angry voice carried through the classroom as everyone else sat in stunned silence and Newt stared at you like you’d grown a second head.

“Miss L/N, Mr Fligshaw, detention for a week! And 10 points from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor!”

You scowled back at the other boy who at least had the decency to look ashamed, remembering the time you had made him pay for stealing Newt’s textbooks the year before. He’d had a sore ear for an entire week after you’d dragged him the length of the entire school, ranting and raving at him like a complete lunatic.

“Y/N, you didn’t have to do that. Now you’re gonna be stuck in detention,” Newt said when you were leaving the classroom and you frowned at the guilty expression he wore.

“Newt, you’re my best friend. I’m not just going to sit back and watch you be poked fun of. Plus, you’re going meet me after detention every day with snacks, aren’t you?”, you grinned back at him. You were only joking but Newt nodded in response.

And he did just that. Waiting diligently outside the detention hall for you each afternoon with your favourite snacks hidden in his robes that he’d pinched from the kitchens.

“You’re free!”, he hugged you when you’d finally finished serving your punishment at the end of the week, handing you a cinnamon bun that was still warm.

You hummed happily in appreciation wasting no time in chomping down on the pastry as Newt held out a letter for you to see “Look what my parents wrote me h-oh no!”, he tried to grasp for the paper when a gust of wind sent it flying out of his hand.

You quickly chased after it across the courtyard and Newt tried to call out to get your attention, but it was too late. You managed to catch the paper at the same time you stumbled straight into a rose bush, crying out when the thorns dug into your skin.

“Y/N!” he ran over to you as you thrashed around trying to free yourself from the rose bush, only to end up with more thorns piercing your skin. “Y/N stop moving!”

He winced at your whimper of pain as he carefully pried the bushes away from you, helping you out from the garden bed and sitting you down carefully as he looked over your injuries and torn stockings.

“This IS WHY I HATE ROSES! Firstly, they remind me of my mum's funeral because Merlin, they were everywhere that day but now this! Terrible, stupid, overrated flowers!”

Newt hated the tears he could see you fighting back as you bit your lip in pain. Your stockings were torn and there was blood running down both of your legs. He didn’t hesitate as he knelt down in front of you, taking your hand and using his other to pluck his wand out from his pocket.

“Episkey,” he murmured, letting out a sigh of relief when your skin mended quickly and you were no longer wincing in pain.

“Newt! You did it!”, you gasped, looking at him with big eyes and gripping his shoulders with a proud smile.

“I guess I just needed a reason to get it right,” he smiled back at you crookedly, casting another charm to get rid of the blood and dirt off of you before he helped you to your feet.

He didn’t let go of your hand as he guided you towards the common room, vowing to never ever present you with roses as a gift.

- - - - - -

Newt stepped towards you cutting Alistair from your view as you set the flowers in water with an unreadable expression on your face.

You looked up when he took your hand, looking back at him in confusion before you smiled weakly at him.

“It’s okay. I told Sarah you were busy with book signing things. She understands.” You squeezed his hand gently and Newt wanted to kick himself because that was the last thing that was on his mind. Really, he just wanted to stop you from leaving with him.

He wanted to tell you the truth. And he wanted to dash off to get into his own suit so he could take you to the wedding himself, but he knew he’d lost his chance.

Alistair’s low laughter filled the kitchen as he moved over to you and Newt gritted his teeth at the way he was still leering at you. “Don’t worry Newt, I’ll have her home by curfew,” Alistair teased, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you out of Newt’s grasp.

“Come on princess. We don’t want to be late,” Alistair fixed Newt with one last hard look over your shoulder before he pulled you from the house, missing the way you looked back at Newt in concern. Wondering what it was that he’d been trying to tell you.

Once you were gone from the flat Newt tried to go about his day as usual but the image of you looking so beautiful in Alistair’s arms was burned into his retinas and he found himself checking the time constantly.

He glanced at his watch with a sigh for the 4th time in an hour that afternoon, wondering what you were doing and if Alistair was being respectful. He knew it was silly. You were an adult and you could take care of yourself but that didn’t stop him from worrying and it certainly didn’t stop him from wallowing in self-pity.

As the hours wore on and the light faded, he found himself feeling more and more worked up, lingering in the living room by the front door when he would usually be in his case working.

It was the thought of you slow dancing in Alistair’s arms that had him rushing from the house and before he knew it, he was standing on his brothers’ doorstep, pounding on the door in a complete daze.

“Newt?”, Theseus frowned when he opened his door, knowing immediately from his younger brother’s body language and expression that something was bothering him. He stepped aside, motioning for Newt to come in and went to put the kettle on the boil while Newt sat himself down in the lounge room.

“I’m sorry I know it’s late and you’re probably busy- I can, I can go,” Newt stuttered when Theseus had returned with a pot of tea, getting to his feet to which Theseus frowned and cast him back into his seat.

“Newton. You know my door is open to you no matter the time. What’s upsetting you?”

Newt let out a deep sigh, brushing his fingers through his hair “I don’t...I don’t really know.”

But Theseus fixed Newt with a deadpan expression because he knew his brother only stumbled on his words like he was now over a select few reasons.

“Is one of the creatures ill?”

Newt shook his head.

“Have you lost Dougal again?”

He shook his head again.

“So, it’s Y/N.” Theseus said slowly, watching the younger man closely as he shook his head again.

“Well no...it’s not her specifically,” Newt ran a hand down his face and then let out a groan as his shoulders slumped.

“Merlin, who am I kidding. She’s at a wedding right now with some other man. Her co-worker. I was supposed to go with her, but I said no- I know I’m an idiot don’t give me that face Thes,” he rambled on as he wrung his hands in his lap.

“They’ve been getting closer lately and I just, I’m trying to be happy for her, but I can’t stand the guy Thes’ I seriously can’t stand the guy and it’s driving me mad!”

Newt’s voice grew louder as he continued on but Theseus watched him curl in on himself again when he finished.

The brothers sat in silence for a few moments as Theseus just looked back at Newt, choosing his words carefully.

“You...don’t like him because you’re simply jealous or you don’t like him because he’s genuinely unlikable?”

Newt blinked back at his brother in confusion “why’s it matter?” he sighed, shaking his head as he flopped back in the chair.

In the past he would have ardently argued that he wasn’t jealous and he didn’t see you that way but he knew there was no point trying to lie to Theseus.

“Well I just mean- do you dislike him just because you want to be him? Because you want to be in his shoes? Or do you dislike him because he’s not a good fit for Y/N? Does he treat her well? Will he make her happy?”

Newt looked down at his lap then, twisting his hands together once more as he pondered what Theseus had said.

“Not like I can,” he whispered eventually.

Theseus nodded in response, smiling softly back at him as he clapped him on the shoulder “then I think you better do something about it, Newt. You need to tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

He noticed the hesitant look Newt wore so he continued, “you need to tell her before you have to watch her move on with someone who can never love her or treat her like you do.”

Newt got to his feet then, nodding to himself and determined to tell you the truth once and for all. Surely you would be home by now. When he arrived home though it was clear you still haven’t returned. That was fine. It just gave him more time to rehearse what he was going to say.

He paced around the kitchen as he imagined hearing you tell him you felt the same way.

“I had a great time tonight, Y/N.”

Newt’s head snapped up and he spotted you in the front terrace, your heels in one hand and Alistair’s hand gripped in the other.

That was okay too. It didn’t have to mean anything. He could still go through with his plan once you were inside and Alistair had left.

Then just as you reached for the door Alistair tugged your hand, spinning you around in his arms and leaning in for a kiss but you turned your cheek at the last second. You successfully dodged the kiss and Newt could almost hear his own heart sing.

That had to be a good sign! You didn’t want to kiss Alistair so maybe he still had a chance to tell you the truth. His brother's advice still echoed in his ears and he realised he had to tell you tonight before he lost his shot completely.

He sucked in a breath when you finally entered the house, standing in the hallway and just glimpsing Alistair’s retreating figure before you swung the door closed and turned to face him.

“Oh, Newt you’re still up”, you said in surprise and Newt had to focus on the task at hand when he realised just how distractingly gorgeous you were still looking.

“Yes, I have to tell you something,” he blurted out, stepping closer to you tentatively.

“Me too actually,” you murmured, smiling back at him weakly and Newt was caught off guard.

Why were you looking at him like that?

What did that smile mean?

He was so dumbfounded by your expression that he forgot to speak, so you eventually filled the silence.

“Alistair’s moving to South America to research the flora and fauna over there.”

Newt only blinked back at you dumbly, so you spoke up again.

“I said I’d go with him.” OTHER WORKS HERE! -

#newt scamander x you #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander imagine

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