Some Batman: Telltale thoughts
[this is a Batman Telltale critical post, ye be warned.]
So. There are perhaps no words in the english language to describe with how stupid i feel right now.
I started Telltale Batman because i thought that it's one of the more distinct unconventional Batman narratives that would let you have a more interesting, complex and nuanced relationship between Bruce and Joker— the game even lets you bring all of Bruce's sincere hypocrisy and sentimental selfishness to the surface and have him admit that yes, he can fight the rogues gallery because it takes a madman to know a madman; to love a madman. For a moment i geniunely thought that i can escape the everpresent shadow of DC hays code in the freakshow funhouse that is Batman comics, i thought Telltale had done something different.
But telltale's approach to The Enemy Within is so flaky and flimsy and timid at best— such noncommittal twist on themes of pain and grief. They take on a hefty plotline, "what does it take to actually fight through evil and be surrounded by it? How long does it take before your resolve and your selfhood cracks? When you lose the mask, which one did you truly lose— The ideal persona, the superhero, the crusader, or the person underneath, the casket that holds all your humanity and your heart and your hopes? How long can you stare onto the abyss before it stares onto you?" It's indeed a very Nietzsche approach to Batman— except that a good Nietzsche narrative takes a lot of intentional plot points and honesty of thought and of heart. And Telltale doesn't commit, not to Bruce's characterization, and not to any other character, and definitely not to Joker's journey in any variation of it. The existence of the Vigilante route is useless on every front; Joker is going to turn into a villain anyway, just with a different hello kitty eyeshadow palette and an extra bland consolation lollipop. No good choice Bruce makes on Joker's behalf affects anything whatsoever, and i particularly love the "community and friendship and sympathy do not help the mentally ill and all that ever works is punishment and shock therapy and confinement and loneliness" message the vigillante route puts on the table, charming charming status quo commandments from DC as always.
Telltale Batman could only be revolutionary if it had dared to break comic convention and let the vigillante route play out like Selina and Bruce's relationship always does; very grey morality, irrational, full of tension and trust, unstable, intriguing, inexcusable, irreversible, unavoidable and heartfelt, human. But we can't have nice things in batmanverse, so both Joker routes run on stuck gears and topple and fall into a predictable narrative hole that neither Bruce nor Joker can claim out of.
And on the predictable front? this story is too lukewarm to be a good time for me personally. When you get 84 Batman comics per minute every other Tuesday, all ending the same way no matter whatever the fickity happens inbetween, you have to pull no punches. This is my 53368532th Batman-with-tragic-batjokes-implications read of the week, say something new or forever hold your blue-balling silence, i dont care.
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being a wag is hard | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x rock star!reader
summary: oscar spends a week as the most hated ‘wag.’ he thinks he can handle it. he can’t.
notes: beware!!! oscar hate ahead 😞 pls send in request!!
ynupdates: y/n was seen at the monaco grand prix today! she was said to be in the mclaren garage, hanging out with the two drivers, lando norris and oscar piastri.
view comments below!
user1: NO Y/N STAY AWAY FROM THOSE MUSTY MEN
user2: oh y/n no…
user3: those m-men 🤮🤮 better not lay a HAND on queen y/n
user4: why did i just see a photo of y/n and that oscar kid making out on my timeline…
user5: WHAT
user6: YOURE FUCKING KIDIDNG ME
user7: pls tell me your lying before i actually hurl up my lunch
user8: NOOOO
user9: i just fell to my knees in h-mart
user10: maybe she’s just there to watch the race?? 😰😰
user11: literally praying that’s all it is 😞
ynupdates: i am heartbroken to say that it seems like y/n is going out with f1 driver oscar piastri. these were sent in last night.
view comments below!
user12: NOOOOOO
user13: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???
user14: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
user15: this can the real
user16: n-no no way
user17: A MAN???? HURL HURL HURL
user18: GAG
user19: no this can’t be right it can’t be
user20: i’m killing myself
user21: this can’t be true
user22: honestly i’m just happy it isn’t that twig ‘lando’
— y/n has posted new photos!
liked by, landonorris, and 723,928 others!
yourusername: monaco, i love you 🎸
view comments below!
user23: UGH YOU LOOK SO GOOD
user24: GIRL YOU ARE STUNNING
user25: pls come to africa next 💙💙
user26: I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT THAT FUCKKNG CONCERT!! BUT THE TICKETS GOT SOULD OUT TO FAST 😡😡
user27: holy shit i just combusted
user28: why isn’t her b-boyfriend 🤮 in her likes OR comments??
user29: oscar what ever his last name is can’t HANDLE ALL THAT
user30: leave him for me baby 👀
user31: i can’t believe she’s dating an musty f1 man 🤢
user32: you could SO MUCH BETTER BABY 😒
— oscar piastri has posted new photos!
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 973,928 others!
oscarpiastri: Feeling the Monégasque love this weekend 💛
view comments below!
user32: you’re not good enough for her
user33: free y/n 😔
user34: who do you think you are stealing my gf like that??
yourusername: who is that sexy sexy man
user35: NO Y/N LOOK AWAY
user36: NO THIS ISNT RIGHT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND WE GET MARRIED AND HAVE THREE KIDS
user37: leave y/n alone or i will gut you like a fish
user38: stop smiling. nothings funny.
— three days later!
liked by, oscar piastri, landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 972,724 others!
yourusername: okay, stop hating on oscar now.
view comments below!
user39: okay!
user40: whatever you say queen 😁
user41: we just had to make sure he was right for you!!
user42: now that i’m taking a good look…he’s kinda cute?
user43: whatever you say 😍
landonorris: the switch up??
user44: who do you think you are
user45: get out of here
user46: oscar was just a tease, we will run you to the ground ugly ass
user47: who’s talking to you
landonorris: OMG IM SORRY???
user48: if he ever hurts her istg
user49: we will stop hating on oscar now 😵💫
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The Little Eldritch Creature
DCxDP Drabbles/Scribbles
Part 1(? Still undecided)
Danny had a lot to say.
Especially to Clockwork.
How dare he send him to another dimension without him knowing?! Especially when all Clockwork had said to him before being thrown into a portal is;
"Good Luck, Daniel."
Good luck? GOOD LUCK TO WHAT!?
Oh, once Danny comes home he will give that old man a saying to. And bit him. Yes! he'll bite his clocks! Let's see how he likes it!!
It's bad enough that he was thrown into a natural portal, but being reduced to a small thing at the size of a squirrel!?!?
He can't even do anything in this form!
Sure, he can use his powers but only to an extent. The only thing Danny could do was being intangible, invisibility and flying/floating.
Disgrace! He was supposed to be a king! A powerful being! He can't be reduced to small adorable thing!
Danny punched the ground in distress, already feeling the tears coming up in his eyes in distress.
Another thing he had noticed. Not only he was in a form of little creature, it seemed his mind and body is of a baby, a child!
He is FOURTEEN! almost fifteen! He can't act this way!
Danny let out a wail, punching the concrete floor in pure distress and helplessness. He wants to bite Clockwork! He wants to be mad at him and get him home! Everything is so big! He doesn't want to be small! He feels helpless! And weak! No! He wants to go home!
He wants to go home and see Jazz!
He misses Jazz...
°•°•°•°•°•°•°
"WWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Red Hood pauses in his step once he hears a...very squeaky wail?
But it also made his pit rage react.
What the?
"Hood. Come in."
"Yeah. What is it, Oracle?" Red Hood signed in as he jumped over a rooftop, heading towards the wail.
"The satalites detected something in your area. Just about a few blocks ahead of you. It causes a static in the frequency."
Welp. There goes his answers.
"I'm already on it. There was some kind of Wail in my direction. Already checking it out."
"Hood, Wait for back up." Oh great.
"I'm already here." Hood scoffed at B as he landed down in front of the alley way.
"Hoo...?" Static came in the comms, making Hood furrowed his eyebrows. Whatever this is, it's effecting his comms.
Hood knew something was wrong once he stepped in the alleyway. The pits suddenly felt weird. Not the bad weird but weird notheless.
Worried. Go. Now!
Hood groaned. Alright. He had an urge to shoot someone.
The more Hood stepped in the alley way, the more he could hear something. A small sound, like a whine? A squeaky whine in the edge of this block.
Hood froze once he saw a familiar green by the end of the dumpster. Oh fuck.
So that's why the pit rage is reacting.
Fuck.
Grabbing his gun from the holster, he slowly walked towards the dumpster. He looked over and....
What is that?
It's small, smaller than Alfred the cat. White hair and ..is that a green tail?
Okay, whatever it was, it's glowing.
And shaking.
And crying.
Why is it crying?
The pits instantly reacted. Bubbling in his stomach like boiling. But Hood knew he wasn't angry.
It felt like it was concern?
But for what?
What is this thing-?
And it's looking at him.
Hood felt himself freeze at the Lazarus green eyes. Big and wide Lazarus green eyes. And fuck are those tears??
Hood doesn't know what to do.
Chirp!
It chirp.
Fuck that was adorable.
Focus, Hood! This is not the time to think such thoughts. He needs to comm the others. Comm B and--
Wait why is moving!?
HOLY SHIT--
CHIRP!!
•°•°•°•°•°
This guy reaks of ectoplasm.
No. This ecto is not good. This ecto is dangerous.
He needs help.
(I am thinking whether or not this needs a part 2 so don't be disappointed if there isn't that means no tagging)
(Edit: it has part 2)
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