#But I just kind of went: hmm
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I think I might have just head cannoned literally all of my favorite characters as AroAce even before I realized I was on the A-spec.
They aren't allo until proven, and even then, they might still be A-spec -> Basically my thought process.
#like obviously Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan are allo and romantically in love with each other#But I just kind of went: hmm#Maybe not?? Lan Zhan feels sooo demiromantic/sexual#Cale just reads as an AroAce character who made the biggest family#and Soukoku is just vibes of a queerplatonic partnership#I may have just been stumbling across AroAce characters on accident actually#Saiki is just AroAce#Zuko.... is Zuko. I think it's the vibes#and Jason Todd feels sooo asexual that learned to flirt really well despite not really caring about sex coded#also Malleus#and ruggie#and just about every twst character#oops#mdzs#the untamed#mo dao su zhi#bungou stray dogs#wei wuxian#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#bsd#lcf cale#lcf alver#trash of the counts family#alberu crossman#tcf cale#cale henituse#avatar the last airbender
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ootd...
#oc#art#i like how looked today..#hmm#Genderisms...#kind of went into a hostile-about-everything-feminine as retaliation phase#then full swing into hyperfemme a bit#then we're back here#idk my gender irdgaf but i think its interesting how ive reexplored femininity through a more queer experience after that retaliation#i wouldnt say my fashion sense reflects this lol my clothes mostly consist of handmedowns from my grandparents#but like. how i feel in general#i would still be hate to be called a woman for Reasons but it resonates yah#This is just my thoughts . Hope this does not cause anything#guy in a girl way thats in a guy way thats in a g
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I'm sorry to my USAmerican moots but I lost every shred of hope I had for your people today
#man i really thought there was no way he'd get a free pass after jan 6 and all the other shit#i legit thought welp they've seen who he is now surely even hardened reds will take a look at a potential dictator and think 'hmm maybe not'#especially with the amount of campaigning that's been going on. I'm European and I know way too much about it#and like 55% of voters just..... went with it anyway. they literally just went with it I'm#70+ million people saw a convicted felon and thought aye I'll put that on my ballot#even outside of foreign policies at the massive geopolitical consequences this will have you looked at drumpf and said.. yeah???#the 'grab her right by the pussy' guy. the 'immigrants eat people's pets' guy. that one???#the project 2025 guy? the 'i need the kind of generals that hitler had' guy? that one?? 70 million people???#the one who's with 'the rules were you weren't going to fact check' guy?#the one who- oh whatever i can't even#the convicted fe- did anyone else hear about all that or did i hallucinate it. because if you did and you voted for him. i have no words#historians are going to be dissecting how the actual fuck this happened for decades
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Thinking thoughts about D-16 and Impactor shoving each other like the children they are while Terminus looks on in mild disappointment
#maccadam#transformers#tfp#idw#crossover au#or well. au family#d-16#impactor#terminus#there is no angsty reason why D 16 is named D 16 in this au family and basically everyone else has a more typical cybertronian name#like in aligned canon it's just one of the first words he saw and he went ''hmm sure that's my name now''#''hey dude that's kind of a shit name'' ''do you have anything better''#he did end up finding (earning) a better name_ megatronus_ in the gladiator pits#i find the idea of his legal name still being d 16 on his medical paperwork hilarious. he never thought about legally changing it#''hook who the fuck is d 16'' ''oh right that's megatron'' ''??????'' ''just ignore it and focus on the anti-rust agend prescription''
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Shoutout to that one guy in the black tabby games official server who was really demeaning about my reaction to Smitten's dialogue in the beginning of the happily ever after route and eventually pissed me off so bad because he clearly thought that I was a horror virgin that I literally turned my nickname in the server to "Princess Eater" post playing out The Den SPECIFICALLY so that he'd be squeamish enough to shut the fuck up
#slay the princess#punk speaks#this isn't a vent really this is more me sharing something I thought was funny#also I suspect he thought I was a woman because I have ragnvaldr as a pfp and in certain official arts he kind of looks like a pretty woman#....like my Tumblr pfp actually. Like the first time I saw this art I had no idea what funger was#my friend had him as a pfp and I literally thought that this character was a barbarian princess or something#anyway I suspect the other reason was because my debut in the server was talking about my disgust with smitten's line:#'We'll give her everything she doesn't know she wants'#But I'd used a screenshot and just reacted with 'AAAUGHHHHH' to which this dude thought I was freaked out by the gore#and then went 'hmm... To think the dialogue is scarier than the gore.....'#And then later in the happily ever after arc I saw the feast and said out loud#'holy shit do you think we're eating HER?'#and he said 'thinks of Den. heh. Actually....#based on how smitten's unwilling to see her be hurt... I'd more guess we're eating US. How's THAT for nightmare fuel?'#the last bit is a direct quote. fuck this guy#Anyway yeah I'm playing up my own freakiness specifically to gross that guy out
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okay, for my de-aged gotham!bruce au
what if there was a new rogue running around de-aging everyone who got in their way? the trigger to turn back is unknown and seemingly random. so after bruce is de-aged, some of his old rogues are de-aged too. since their MOs are a bit different because they're at a different point in their lives (it depends for each one when they're de-aged to) bruce is their main source of information on them, meaning that the batfam is basically forced to let bruce work with them to fight the de-aged rogues.
rogues i want to include (so far): the penguin, the riddler, (of course) the joker (i want to find a way to include jerome so so so bad but i don't know how exactly yet), not sure who else as to the rogues.
but i also want to de-age selina and alfred at some point. maybe someone hit the manor at a gala or something. they play that off as when bruce was hit so bruce can walk around gotham without the cops scrambling to find bruce wayne.
#i mean including too many rogues would make it repetitive right? so that might be a good amount#i really just want to write alfred saying “right what's all this then mate?” and the consequential chaos in the batfam#they are so not used to him talking informally#selina would be such a treat to write#the jason parallels!!!!!!#the riddler and penguin would so humanize them in the bats' eyes which is probably a good thing? maybe? i mean the riddler is severely#mentally ill but the penguin is kind of just. a total jerk#to put it lightly#hmm maybe bane?#oh! OOOH!! JIM GORDON#yes yes yes i wanna write a de-aged jim gordon to s5#i love taking characters from s5 cuz it's pulling someone from an active war zone to a time when they're all just. chilling?#the batkids seriously do not know what their dad went through like WOW#gotham tv#gotham tv show#gotham#gotham tv series#batman#gotham!bruce#bruce wayne#gotham!batman#gotham!bruce wayne#tv: gotham#gotham!alfred#gotham!jim gordon#alfred pennyworth#jim gordon#commissioner gordon#captain jim gordon#g!bruce meets batfam
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my workload this year is absolutely absurd (1.5x as much hw time as class time in maths, and since it’s double maths i have 8hrs of lessons weekly so that is A Lot, and probs as much hw time as class time in french and bio, but then i put extra time into bio myself). so i would expect to be deeply unhappy about this. but i’m not and i’m actually quite enjoying it. which is odd.
i guess it makes sense though. it has always been that in my spare time, i work on my hyperfixationy stuff, making notes on random crap or working on flute; i have never done nonworking free time stuff like watching tv (except going on tumblr ofc). and now a good half-odd of my school work is hyperfixation stuff. so i am, strangely enough, thriving under these conditions
#im like a specialised deep sea creature that thrives in hostile environments#and just kind of goes bleh and dies in non hostile environmemts#like im not complaining but you would think i would be miserable in these conditions#hmm#im not lying to myself or anything i am just genuinely extremely happy living like this#workaholic ig#almost all of bio puts me in Hyperfixate mode and a good third / half of maths does and a little of french does#french is simultaneously the easiest and hardest of my three subjects 🤔#it has come to my attention that the speaking exam will pose issues not because i dont speak french#bc my spoken french is actually extremely good if i may say so myself#but because i am autistic and a very poor and rambly conversationalist who tends to get Stuck on one topic#and in this exam they actually want me to be succinct and coherent. meanwhile ive gone off on a tangent and suddenly fallen silent#because i dont know the french word for marital rape (the question had nothing to do with marital rape)#so im gonna have to do some self training for that i fear 😂#siph speaks#im doing it now tbh. i went on a tangent about french speaking#because i have been stuck in the topic of french speaking since yesterday#and have talked about nothing else#snd these tags are way too long but knowing that doesn’t stop me#i get STUCK like a RECORD going over the same bit of music#schoolposting
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Briefly lost my mind and considered doing a second PhD last night -- which, we can agree, is quite probably the worst idea I have ever had.
#hilary for ts#school stuff#i was in bed but i did the mental equivalent of sitting down until the thought went away#but the university i work at offers tuition waivers for faculty + staff#and has a top ranked international studies program that would work well with my history + current events + international politics interests#i just. i thought about it all right.#because i am exactly the kind of person who emerges from that and goes hmm. that was awful. we should do it again.
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Went to an arcade in a mall recently and they had a Marble of Souls in there, so I played it and won some cards hehe. Those things are LOUD, like piercingly LOUD. I could hear it screeching bitcrushed vampire killer throughout the whole arcade, partially because of how loud it was and partially because I heard vampire killer and immediately tuned out everything else. Had a really nice conversation with the people at the ticket counter too, one of them was a fan of the games and they were all really nice :). Really interesting experience, I guess now I get to say I’ve fed Konami’s gambling addiction 💀💀💀. I’ve got Simon and Maria in card protectors rn (only had two) and I plan to get more protectors to put cute little stickers on them lol. Might put Simon in a lanyard or my wallet XD. But for now they’re just sitting on a shelf for display :3.
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#simon belmont#maria renard#richter belmont#charlotte aluin#marble of souls#genuinely kinda sad that this is like uhhh the only merch I’ve seen in years#and it’s for a pachinko machine based on a game in the series that I don’t even like lmaoooooooooo#hmm? grimoire of souls? what’s that? this is just uh ayami’s art it has no game attached to it??? Grimoire of Souls is a myth—#I could and should make a rant post about GoS and why I don’t like it but ehhhhh#eh whatever it was an interesting experience and I had fun tbh#I won a couple things in the cranes and there was a project diva cabinet#also very cool food court at a marketplace I went to there was black sesame ice cream mmmm#there was also an active FYE which is wild cause I’m used to them being closed#yippie simon for a lanyard tho#this will be the second time I’ve put him on some kind of necklace lmao#uh idk if I should make like uh a general hobby tag for this now that I think about it#hobby posting#for some reason tumblr just started lagging BAD so I guess that’s the end of tags then
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s2 episode 11 thoughts DISCLAIMER + SURVEY
hello loyal mulders-too-large-shirt fans. i did not watch an episode yesterday because it was so hot and i was very sleepy! but i watched s2 episode 11 today and hmm. let's talk on the subject.
okay, to put it lightly: not a great episode. and i'm not talking here like the earlier vampire sex thing, where it was just bad writing and uncomfortable viewing; this one was different. it took a bold swing at social commentary and i feel it was an equally bold miss. it ventures into triggering topics that i do not feel were handled with adequate grace, and me reliving them in play-by-play detail is giving me pause.
so, while i took my notes like always, i'm leaning towards not sharing them, and like i did for s1 ep14, instead just sharing the parts i liked and tossing the rest in the bin. i feel that you could really study this episode and talk about how the writers went wrong and what they could have done to handle the difficult topics in a more sensitive manner. but i'm not sure i'm the person that WANTS to do that, as i post on this little blog for funsies rather than as a sort of academic exercise. academia is already so thoroughly part of my life. this should be a safe zone.
so, i present to you some options: i can do as i lined out/what i did before when i disliked an episode, and just post the parts i liked.
OR i could do a full and extended cut of everything like a typical post. a play-by-play breakdown of the shenanigans. i would, however, feel the need to make endless disclaimers, and it just doesn't sound like fun.
so, please let me know what you think!
feel free to share thoughts and feelings on the episode, or your reasoning behind the vote. i shall be Contemplating
#posts that make you realize op thinks too much example 592#i just. feel like if i post the whole thing i'll end up with an essay on what went wrong#and we don't need essays at this point. especially ones i don't feel qualified to write#also i just like to ignore episodes and pieces i don't like so talking about it more is kind of the opposite of doing that#hmm. let me know what you think!#juni's x files liveblog#no other tags cause this is for the REAL mulder's too large shirt fans#<3
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Oooh! Can you tell me more about no longer sparkles off in smoke? 🌻
It's not much right now - partly because I've got a crisis about what the story is supposed to be. I started thinking about it as a post-script/series of missing scenes after Laura Murdoch Collins's (apparent, temporary) death/the end of the Phoenix arc in D.ark S.hadows, because the show ... never really assigned any emotional significance to it - the David lost his mother again, after she tried to kill him; that Roger was made a widower by it, even though that marriage was DOA; that Burke lost someone he had loved, and one of two people who could have proved that he'd been falsely convicted of manslaughter 10 years ago - setting aside the latest proof of supernatural monsters running around Collinsport. Then, too, there's Josette's ghost's disappearance from the narrative, and how that affects Vicki - who's depended on her intercession at key moments?
(whenever I talk about this show, please know I am aware of how nuts I sound.)
But now I'm not sure - is it more about Laura and her past lives? is it about Vicki's own ambivalence about what happened? Am I trying to compare and contrast Laura and Josette as women dead before their time, continually haunting the Collinses through the generations?
I suppose some of that ambivalence is coming out in the different starting paragraphs I have for it:
There was no question of finding jasmine in Collinsport, at this time of year or any other; Vicki had only, with Mrs. Stoddard’s permission, to take the flowers from the greenhouse that would best suit the grave, and hope that Josette would take them in the spirit they were given – relief, gratitude, friendship. It was only that on her way out the door she crossed paths with Burke, returning David, and on telling him she was going to Eagle Hill he offered to join her.
versus,
Laura Murdoch Collins wasn’t dead, and there wasn’t anything but her ashes to bury; Vicki had laid down her handfuls of hothouse blooms on Josette Collins’s grave as thanks to her, but there was no easy place to remember Laura – not until she and Burke had gone on to the old Stockbridge burying ground, and stood solemnly by the still-disturbed earth of one of Laura’s former graves.
"I'm sorry," she said, at long last.
WIP Title Ask Game
#thank you for the ask kind friend!#ask meme#polkaknox talks#anyway I Just Think It's Neat that Laura has. to date. married Jeremiah in the 1780s. then Edward in the 1880s and had kids.#then in the 1950s nearly married Burke (identical to Jeremiah) then married Roger (identical to Edward. also her fucking grandson.)#or that. hmm. the narrative implies that Laura doesn't have a choice? she didn't have a choice? she has to die twice every time -#first an accidental death by fire; then an intentional one if she has any children? which she almost always does?#that maybe she doesn't know what she is until she dies that first time?#or that Josette - compared to who she was in life - has a clarity of purpose and a force of personality that allows her so much more agency#than she had as a pretty little bride whose life went badly off the rails until she chose her own death.#anyway. maybe i just think diana millay's great. who can say.#dark shadows don't have the most insane possible character configurations through the generations: failed for the nth year running.
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At this point I think the funniest thing ted lasso could do is have everyone end the show single
#ted lasso#i can see tedbecca happening and ever since the bisexual triangles i can actually see tedtrent *strokes tinfoil hat*#I can also see keeley/Jamie keeley/roy and keeley/Jamie/roy#so I’m not really on any ships side#I kind of like them all#so it would be great if they just went hmm no you’ve been readjj in big this wrong the whole time#*coach beard voice* self love babeh
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….
"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm)#DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate#Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with#The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol#it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and#fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol#I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode#into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says#let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text#so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll#and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh..#bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol#I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated#or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day#Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options#*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj#ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts#in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be#confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else#but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol#explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol#ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME#but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week#I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!
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anyway I need 2024 to stop doing whatever the fuck it's doing and just let me exist in peace for once
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I'm getting flashbacks to shit I don't think I've ever had flashbacks to before#like stuff I knew about and could kind of access those memories but they've never specifically shown up as flashbacks while I've been here#really feeling that post that's like ''I'm at the end of my rope but it just keeps getting longer like a clown handkerchief trick''#I'm getting flashbacks to shit that isn't even related to the stuff that's triggered all this. what the fuck#it's like our brain just went ''hmm I feel bad what trauma can I grab onto'' and grabbed everything
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Close to my grandma's age when she had my dad literally wtf
#*p#She gave him up for adoption good for her#Side note she is my favorite grandparent#Been thinking abt it a little more recently as I'm staying with her rn#Also rlly been thinking about how my grandma is losing her memory and whatnot but she is still just as kind and enjoyable as before#But when this happened to my (non biological) grandfather he was so fucking nasty. Hmm okay rant incoming once again just need somewhere to#Is been resting inside me for years and I think maybe I should just get it out finally so like don't read. I mean you can if you want but..#recently I realized that he hit my dad when he was a kid and so now I hate him hate him#My mom's always hated him too because of the way he treated my dad's sister versus him#She's so spoiled god#Once my mom told me how they both came to the airport and when my dad arrived he didn't even get up but when she arrived he got up#Before she even was there and greeted her with open arms like hmm okay#And the his computer screen savers was just a sideshow and ofc most if not all of them were her and not one was my dad#Back to the she's so spoiled comment she literally just took whatever she wanted when she came to my grandparents house#I'm not even kidding it was even their cars#Oh she took all of my dad's legos without a word to him. He wanted to give them to my sister so he went to find them and they just weren't#Like you couldnt have even asked ??Think she took his chess set too maybe. Yk lots of things like that#And this is kind of why I was born now that I think about it#My mom felt that my dad didn't have anything of his own so she wanted him to have a kid. Like she wouldn't have had a child if she didn't#Think that#Why did she tell me this anyway#I dint mind but I think lots of parents would not tell their kids that#But yk there are some things she could keep to herself. Like did I need to know where and after what meal I was conceived. No not really.#Wait no I'm literally in the exact room right now aren't I....#How did I get here in my rambling damn it I did not need to think about that
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Those quick-jumps out of prison leave something to be desired... (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Law Abiding Citizen#LAC#LAC Russ#Doug Peterson#It's funny 'cause the post that houses the tags that inspired this train of thought was not that long ago right?#But in real time it's been about a week and a half since I wrote those - which means I had a bit to stew on them before jumping in hehe#Russ in solitary appealed to me too much to just leave alone#Much like Doug to Russ! Lol#There's also something about drawing him in an orange uniform that's Something hmm ♪#I always feel like I set them down for just long enough to forget how to draw them lol#Well the idea wouldn't leave me alone no matter what so here they are anyhow! Haha#Honestly even to the point where I've considered doing a big write about it hm hmm ♫#But for as long as I'm toning them I'll be happy to show off my process doodles lol#They're too sparsely posted! Fix it!#It does feel indulgently dark but that also aligns with them and their whole Deal - they're rather flexible on that front :)#They can be silly and they can be serious! I am kind of ignoring timing-and-placement vis a vis who says what went lol#It's part of the indulgence hehe#Anyway! Lol#I feel like Russ would be pretty quickly shunted out of sight of everyone if any of his abilities stayed intact#''He keeps setting shit on fire - nobody can figure out how! He doesn't have a lighter!''#Bad behaviour! You're not going to be released quickly if you keep that up!#Just stick him in a box and don't worry about it anymore#Why doesn't Doug help him break out? Where's the fun if he starts as a criminal? Where's the challenge of corruption?#No it's just an excuse lol ♪ They both kinda just overlook Russ' time in prison in canon it would defeat the purpose to here#What new adventures will they get up to :3c
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