#But I guess Honey mustard will have to do

[souenkun]

Can't believe after the amount of shit talk that I did after this announcement, my dad pulled og steven from the ticket scout for me... the coincidence is insane lmao 😭

[actually-safer-to-kiss]

Cravings

Summary: Spencer admires Reader while pregnant and in the depths of her cravings.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content warnings: Pregnancy, eating

Word count: 848

Spencer can’t pinpoint when he’s loved you the most. Hearing you groggy over the phone when he was on the jet heading home would’ve been the obvious moment, considering he blurted the three special words out in the middle of you talking about your upcoming work day. You and the team, who also witnessed it, were stunned into silence. But he still spoke to you after, whispering like he was alone the entire time.

Your wedding day would be another appropriate answer. He didn’t tear up as any groom would. No, he cried. His tears collected at the brim but took time to overflow, blurring his view of you gliding down the aisle with thoroughly-planned elegance. He had to block them to gather himself, as one would shield themselves from the sun.

But this moment tugs at his heart: when he opens the front door with the classic, “Honey, I’m home,” and you emerge from the bedroom with a swollen belly hidden under an old sweatshirt. The joy on your face is a moment he won’t forget. Granted, a portion of said joy might be thanks to the greasy bag and styrofoam cup he’s clutching desperately in one hand. Nevertheless, he savors the look and the feeling that must have felt similar to men who graced their families with bountiful hunting results.

Except in this case, the “bountiful hunting results” are chicken tenders with fries, extra honey mustard, and a large hot fudge sundae from your favorite restaurant that happens to be in the middle of nowhere and roughly 30 minutes away. But cravings are cravings, and they’ve been relentless throughout the second trimester. He’ll scope out the specific restaurants, local or corporate, if it makes you happy and appeases the baby girl (hopefully) inside you.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” A kiss on the cheek sufficed as you waddled toward the kitchen. You put the sundae in the freezer for now and barely waste time getting a plate and napkins, but it’s less to clean up. And less for Spencer to double-clean later.

Before you sit down, Spencer takes the plate from you, and he swears for a minute he saw motherly instincts kick in.

“You don’t have to eat at the table," he says. “Come on,” he tilts his head toward the couch as he walks, the obvious not mentioned.

“We don’t eat on the couch.” You reply.

He’s still walking.

“You don’t like it. Crumbs, lingering nastiness, and other science-y terms you’ve used.”

He puts the plate on the coffee table. “I’m willing to make exceptions. Plus, with a baby, mess is inevitable.” He leans down, revealing the breakfast tray he bought. You clearly never saw it before. Because the way your open mouth morphed into a smile, he would've thought he unintentionally did magic. He pulled out the small legs. “I figured it’s best to adjust slowly while I still can.”

You walk toward him, your hands resting on your belly. “But this is your couch.”

“In our apartment.” He takes a pillow and fluffs it, setting it against the arm. “Sit.”

You eventually comply. There’s still a look on your face, indicating second-guessing, like you’re somehow doing this without his knowledge. Meanwhile, the breakfast tray is in his hands, and he makes sure you’re settled. You lay across the couch.

Spencer puts down the tray, asking if you want a drink before devouring. You shake your head, eyes staring down at the fatty American dish in front of you. While you begin, he picks a vinyl from your shared collection. The one thing he won’t waver about is the classics.

As in classical music.

As in Mozart. Spencer has noticed your familiarity with the symphonies over the past six months. He loves it, regardless of whether it’s just because he’s insisted you listen to classical after you told him the news.

When the melody flows, Spencer finds a seat on the couch. You slide your feet toward you to make room. As soon as he sits down, he puts your legs in his lap, letting you stretch out again. His lips disappear into his mouth for a minute as he suppresses a giggle.

All the chicken was either swallowed or mush in your mouth and specks of salt littered your lips and hands along with honey mustard drippings. This. Spencer's in love again. As you suck the sauce off your own fingers like it’s the only sustenance you’ve had in days. The comfort he feels here, knowing the woman basically attacking her dinner will be the mother of his child. This is something even his three PhDs are unable to put into words.

“Do you want some help?” Spencer leans over, takes the napkins under the plate, and wipes the corners. You continue chewing, polite enough to keep your mouth closed and manage its volume. “There.” He puts the napkin down. And he looks at you, realizing just how much you've changed his life.

“What?” Your mouth is so full.

“Nothing.”

You swallow almost everything. “Something.”

He shrugs. “I just love you.”

[joedirtymadre]

new to your blog and it's absolutely ADORABLE! :D may I please req a toge inumaki x reader fluff where toge/reader return after a looong day to their s/o and bask in their warmth? maybe turns into eventual smut? all upto you and absolutely fine if you don't want to, thank youu and ly!! :)

Thank you 🥹 AND YES I CAN (and I hope this one care out great!). Also I normally do (character x F reader) unless someone asks for something different. So keep that in mind when reading my stories 🥸

Bath Time?

Anyways- TOGE X READER *SMUT (STILL TAKING REQUESTS PLS SEND EM 🧎‍♀️)

“Hmm… he said he finished his assignment about an hour ago, so he should be here by now…” I trailed off as I set the table. I quickly finished setting the table and placing down the food, in hopes that he would arrive before it gets cold. “If he’s taking this long to get home, then it must’ve been a tough mission,” I sighed as I covered the meal to prevent it from getting too cold. “I should have a bath ready for him,” I said and headed to the bathroom to start a warm bath for him. As soon as I finished filling the bath with hot water I heard the front door open.

I walked out, and saw Toge removing his shoes and putting on his sandals. I walked up and he noticed my presence and faced me. “Hi honey,” I smiled. “Salmon,” he said and reached out for me. I slowly pulled him into a hug and I felt him relax as I rubbed his back. Rough day today?” I asked. “Bonito flakes…” he sighed. “I thought so… so I made you something tasty,” I said as I guided him to the dinner table. “Kelp? Salmon?” He questioned. “I thought some rice balls and katsudon with curry might make today a little better,” I said and uncovered the food. “Tuna mayo!” He said excitedly and quickly sat down. “Salmon, kelp, caviar,” he said softly and he placed his hands together and bowed his head lightly. Then he quickly began eating as if he hadn't eaten anything all day. “I guess they didn’t give you a break today huh?” I asked before taking a seat myself. “Mustard leaf,” he mumbled before taking another big bite. “I’m glad you like it, and I have a bath ready for you too. So finish up and get ready ok?” I asked. He nodded and we both finished up eating.

I began picking up the dishes, “Alright now go wash up before the bath,” I smiled. Toge grabbed my arm, almost making me lose balance of the dishes. “Toge?” I asked, confused. “Salmon,” Toge said as he removed the plates from my hands and set them in the sink. He then dragged me to the restroom. “T-Toge?” I stuttered as he shut the door. “Bonito flakes,” he said as he pointed to the both of us and then the bathtub. “Oh! Y-You want to take a bath together?” I blushed. “Tuna mayo,” he smiled, and began removing his clothing. I blushed at the sight of him, I don’t know why I still get so embarrassed. It’s not like I haven’t seen him naked before, but still… I slowly began removing my clothing as well. I covered my chest, feeling my face heat up. Hopefully, he thinks it’s from the steam, or else he’ll tease me about it. “Salmon,” he said as he turned on the shower head and moved me in front of him. The water rained down on us lightly, I then watched as he grabbed some body wash and lathered up his hands in soap. I squeaked when I suddenly felt his hands on my hips. I heard him chuckle and I bit my lip. I tried my best to keep calm, but his hands roamed around my body. I then felt one hand cup my left breast and the other right on my abdomen. “T-Toge…” I whispered as he began playing with my nipple. “Hmm?” I heard. “I-I think I’m clean enough. I think it’s y-your turn,” I said before grabbing some soap and lathering my hands. I turned around to face him and began to lather some soap on his chest. I slowly moved them lower and lower, before stopping. I was suddenly pushed into the wall behind me and felt a pair of strong yet soft lips overcome mine. I wrapped my hands around his neck, deepening the kiss. He then pulled away and went straight for my neck, sucking and nibbling all over. “Ah~! Toge!” I let out. After this I felt Toge attack my neck rougher, and felt his hands roam down to my legs pulling them up to where he’s now carrying me. After a few more minutes of making out I felt Toge begin to walk me out of the bathroom. “Toge?” I asked, confused. Before being suddenly thrown onto a soft flat surface.

I blushed as I realized that he took me to the bedroom. I watched as he stared down at me, panting, and letting his eyes roam around each inch of my body. “Doggy position,” he said, and my body quickly acted on its own and flipped over onto all fours. I blushed heavily from the lewd position I was in, all fours with my pussy spread out for him. I squeaked as I felt a thumb graze over my pussy lips. “Mm~” Toge let out and slowly entered 2 fingers. I gasped, and quickly bit my lip. Trying to hold on whatever sounds I’d make. Toge must’ve taken this as a challenge because he quickly increased the speed. I laid there on all fours gripping the sheets until my knuckles turned white trying to not let out any loud moans. “Salmon…” he said frustrated. “T-Toge… sl-slow down!” I gasped and tried to look back. He then slowly removed his fingers, giving me a moment to catch my breath. But a moment too little as I gasped from the large, hard cock that slipped inside. He quickly grabbed both my arms pulling them behind me. His cock filled up my insides perfectly, and without a second to adjust to the size difference Toge quickly began ramming into me. “Ah~ Ah~ To-!” I drooled as I finally gave up on controlling my moans. “Louder,” I heard, and my moans began filling the entire room. My mind was blank, all I could comprehend was the sounds of his thrusting and my moans. “Oge~ Toge~!” I cried out, with my face hitting the sheets. Suddenly Toge released my right arm and it fell to the side, I have no strength to move it. “Rub yourself,” I heard him say and my arm moved itself under me, straight to my clit. My eyes widened as I began rubbing my clit, “No~! Too much~!” I cried out, but my hand wouldn’t stop, and neither did Toge. This begging only made him fuck me harder, as I felt him lean over me even more. Making his cock fill my pussy up even deeper.

I felt the familiar burning sensation running through my body and knew what was coming. “Oge~! Slow do- Gon- cum~!” I gasped, but it was too late. I felt my body tremble as a wave of pleasure ran through me and I quickly bit into the sheets until it passed. My body finally relaxed and my arm dropped. I then realized… Toge’s still inside, and he’s still hard. “T-Toge?” I asked softly, and before I could turn I felt him slowly pull out before ramming back inside. I moaned loudly and fell back in the sheets. “Wait~! I-! I’m s-sensiti-!” I cut my self off as Toge begin fucking me even rougher. His sadistic side is coming out! My moans filled the room again as he continued pounding my pussy, I then felt him pull my body up slowly. With a hand on my hand to face him, he pulled me into a rough, but passionate kiss before thrusting again. I then felt his free hand snake down my body and began rubbing my sensitive clit. “Mm!” I moaned into his mouth. I trembled as I was at the mercy of this man. Oh god I love it. I felt his fingers rub my clit faster and faster, with his thrusts slowing down but still deep. “F-Fuck…” he groaned into the kiss. “Toge~ Cum inside me~” I said softly as I pulled away. I watched as he smirked and nodded. He leaned a little forward and continued thrusting, while rubbing my clit. I bit my lip, and suddenly heard, “Cum.” An electric shock ran through my body as I threw my head back towards Toge and felt as he bit onto my shoulder while he rammed one last hard and deep thrust into my sensitive pussy. We both took a minute to catch our breath before moving from our current position. “Salmon…” he said softly and kissed my shoulder that he bit. “Toge… bath now? Please?” I panted. “Tuna mayo,” he chuckled and slowly carried me back to the restroom to continue our bath.

[incorrectbatfam]

There was Margie, and then there was the batfam, what about the rogues with Steph time in retail?

Part 1 with Margie

Part 2 with the batfam

———————

[at the grocery store]

Riddler: Riddle me this: you eat me before I'm born and after I'm dead. What am I?

Steph: Eggs are aisle 3, chickens are aisle 4.

———————

[at the coffee shop]

Ivy: Is the oat milk locally sourced?

Steph: Yes, I don't recommend it.

———————

[at the clothing store]

Scarecrow: *walks in*

Steph: Sorry sir, this isn't a Spirit Halloween yet.

———————

[at the drive-thru]

Steph: Welcome to Batburgers, what can I get you?

Harley: Hiya! Can I do a double cheese batburger deluxe with no onions and extra pickles, and I'll have a side of nacho chili cheese fries with a drizzle of barbecue sauce. I'll also take two Bat-Hound Doggy Bags—one with Robin nuggets, honey mustard, milk, and apples with caramel, and the other with the steak Talon tacos minus the sour cream and with the salsa separate, fruit punch, and the Hush Puppies.

Steph: Anything else?

Harley: Yeah, I'll do the Create Your Own milkshake with vanilla bean, chocolate, strawberry, cookies 'n cream, cherry, black cherry, cotton candy, funfetti with double the fetti, mint chip, salted caramel, peanut butter crunch, brownie bites, extra whipped cream, and gummy bears on top.

Steph: Alright, that'll be $20.37. Please pull up to the next window.

Harley: Before I pay, could you read that back to me?

———————

[at the furniture store]

Steph: Let me guess, you need new cushions.

Clayface, while dripping clay: *nods sadly*

———————

[at the restaurant]

Joker: Give me a good laugh. A hearty chuckle. Serve me up nice, warm smile.

Steph:

———————

[at the call center]

Steph: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I help you?

Black Mask: *starts threatening every member of the Wayne family*

Steph: Mhm. I understand. Please hold.

Steph: *puts him on hold*

Steph: *clocks out*

Steph: *goes home*

———————

[at home]

Steph: You won't BELIEVE the week I had.

Tim: Remind me again why you work seven jobs simultaneously?

[sociopathicartist]

Breakfast Combo (sans one shot part 2)

“What did you plan on doing when you got up to the surface?” You looked at Sans, seeing his side profile clearly as he was busy staring up at the night sky.

Sans took a deep breath. “i didn’t think about it too much. when i was younger i wanted to come up here and get a nice house with papyrus. go back to college and get a higher degree, maybe become a professor.”

You raised an eyebrow, your gaze matching up with his when he looked over to you. “You? Sans, the laziest man I know, a professor?”

He laughed softly, his gloved hands moving to rest over his ribcage. “yeaaahhhh, i know. i guess things just changed.”

That was one way to sum up the long cycle of his dreams getting killed. The two of you stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Sans?”

“hmm?”

You paused for a minute, looking away from him and back to the night sky, the stars almost twinkling. “I don’t want things to change.”

Sans didn’t respond for a moment. He took a deep breath, ready to joke about how deep that was or make a stupid pun, but he stopped himself. Now wasn’t the right time. “really?”

“Really. Do you think it’s selfish of me to hope that things never change between us?”

Between the two of you.

Best friends, platonically, for the rest of your days, never wanting any more. That’s what you wanted, right?

You held back the urge to say something more. To finally put it out there.

“nah, s’ not selfish.” He trailed off, his voice getting a bit quieter. “i don’t want things to change either.”

You woke up.

The light was shining through the car window, small bumps from the road shaking the car a bit. You must have fallen asleep during the drive to the ski lodge.

Your lips curled down a bit at the dream. It was an old memory of you and Sans. You weren’t sure if he even remembered it himself, it was really long ago.

“honey, we’re here.” Stretch flicked you on the forehead, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You looked at him, yawning and stretching out with what room you could in the car. “Alright… I’m up.”

The snow was heavy and almost fluorescent white when you stepped out of the car after everyone else, wandering on back to see everyone grabbing their luggage as the wind beat against you, feeling like small needle pricks to your skin. Is Fell’s gym bag seriously shaped like a mustard packet?

“DO YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH-“

“I’VE GOT IT. GO AHEAD AND CHECK INTO THE LODGE, BLUE.” Papyrus quickly cut Blue off, grabbing your suitcase and handing it to you.

Blue meandered off with the rest of the crew, leaving you and Papyrus to trail behind with your things. You liked the one-on-one time with him.

“Thanks, Papyrus. You’re way stronger than I am.” You smiled at Papyrus, seeing that his gaze was focused on the path ahead of you.

“I DO NOT HAVE ANY MUSCLES, BUT THANK YOU, HUMAN.”

You laughed, finding it a bit endearing with how blunt he was. “I know you

don’t have any. Are you excited to ski?”

“YES!” Papyrus answered quickly, a proud look on his face when he glanced down at you. “THOSE SLIPPERY SLOPES WILL NOT EVEN THINK TO QUESTION WHO IS ABSOLUTELY SHREDDING THEM.”

Well, alright then. Both of you chatted until you got caught up with the group inside, seeing everyone making small bicker out in the common area.

“can’t believe we paid a fuck-ton for these rooms and we can’t even get to them with an elevator,” Fell complained, a bit of an annoyed expression as he glared at the carpeted stairs.

“YOU NEED THE EXTRA STEPS IN YOU, BIG BONES.” Blue jabbed, his tone a bit demeaning to Fell.

“where the fuck did that come from?”

“WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP.”

Here they go again. You looked around your group, seeing Edge and Papyrus chatting away, and Stretch monitoring Blue and Fell’s little quarrel.

Where was Sans?

“wanna head upstairs?” His voice rang out, on cue with your thoughts.

You jumped, turning around to see Sans who had conveniently snuck behind you, his voice still ringing solid throughout your ears. “Yes. I’m not sure why we’re all standing in the middle of the common lounge.”

Sans adjusted his backpack on his shoulders, holding out his hand to you. “come on, you know you wanna grab it.”

You gave a quick glance to your friends, all of them occupied. They wouldn’t notice if you left for a bit if you and Sans left. You looked back at him, your hand reaching out to fold over his white mitten.

With a weird, sinking feeling that you had become familiar with, and a flash of black before the world around you faded back in, you were upstairs. The hallway merged into a balcony that overlooked the common room, your friends still down there conversing. You both started to make your way off the balcony and into the carpeted hallway.

“You got a room next to mine, right?” You asked, following after Sans as you walked down the hallway, glancing at the door numbers and some of the images hung on the wall.

“yep.” His voice echoed down the hallway. “you practically begged me to get one next to yours, remember?”

You frowned. You totally did do that. “I did not.”

“please please please get a room next to mine so that i’m not alone in the dark, scary ski lodge stuck next to some other random weirdos that i live with and i definitely don’t talk to every day.” He mocked you in a silly voice, his hands over each other to make a pleading sign. “i’ll be so sad and alone in my comfortable bed.”

You rolled your eyes, not listening to his over-dramatization of you. “The accuracy. It burns.”

“scary dark room.”

“Stop it.” You stopped outside the door to his room, slowly backing away to yours as he stared up at you.

“gonna come ski with me in a bit?” Sans asked you, cocking his head to the side a bit.

You pretended to ponder for a bit, already knowing what you’d say. “Not sure. You’ll push me down into the snow.”

Sans scoffed, shaking his skull ‘no’. “i would never do that to you… probably.”

“I’m going to get changed into proper clothes for skiing.” You opened up the door to your room, dragging your suitcase behind you. “I’ll come ski with you in a bit.”

“time waits for snowmen-“

You closed your door, silencing his words before he could finish the punchline for his joke. Successfully cut off.

The room you were staying in was way nicer than the one at the hotel, your eyes scanning over everything as you set your suitcase on your bed, unpacking the clothes you needed. The mere thought of getting to stay in this ski lodge for an entire week with your friends was exciting. All of you needed a vacation.

Your phone buzzed and you took it out of your pocket, looking down to see the text message.

tall skeleton #1 - WHERE DID YOU GO?

Ah. You should probably get ready then.

“For the last time Edge, the ski-lift will not fall.” You tried your best to console your friend, pulling him to sit down on the ski-life as it lifted the both of you into the air.

He gripped onto the sidebars, worried the seat would fall down and off the line. “THIS IS A HORRIBLE WAY OF GETTING BACK UP. WHY COULDN’T HAVE WE JUST WALKED?”

You raised an eyebrow, giving him a look. “Go on, try walking next time. See how well that goes for you.”

When you hopped off the lift, you held out your hand for him to grab. It was a bit funny seeing him so worried about something considering how bold and confident he was. “WE SHOULD GO SKI DOWN AGAIN, THAT WAS FUN.”

You shook your head and stretched out a bit. “Thanks, but I’m gonna take a break for a bit. My legs hurt, I’ll catch up with you later.”

Edge shook his head and scoffed. “IMAGINE.”

Stupid skeletons and their lack of muscles.

You slowly made your way back inside the lodge, the waves of laughter from outside dying out to almost nothing but the crackles of the warm fireplace. You had been out skiing for a long while already, and the sky outside was turning to dusk. You didn’t plan on going back out and skiing again tonight, instead wanting to relax and soothe your muscles. You shuffled your way back up to your room, not wasting any time to change into some pyjamas. You walked over to your window to peek outside, wanting to check out the nighttime snowy view.

Was someone in the hot tub?

You leaned a bit closer to the glass, trying to see who the hell was out here when it was this cold outside and was almost pitch black.

Oh my god.

You scurried out of your room, down the hall and stairs, and rushed out of the lodge, coming to a stop when you finally reached your way up to the hot tub. He was sitting in there, relaxing with his eye sockets closed. You stood with your feet by the water, standing on the damp concrete border.

“Sans? What are you doing out here?”

Sans opened his eye-sockets, looking up to you. He had the same permanent grin, but his expression looked a bit different. “jus’ felt like sitting in the hot water. there a problem?”

You shook your head. Why did you feel nervous all of a sudden? It was just Sans. “No… No problem.”

“you didn’t ski with me.” Sans remarked, calling you out. “i thought you wanted to hang out with me?”

You pursed your lips, slowly crouching down. “I mean, we have the whole week.”

He tilted his head a bit to the side. “i was worried you’d get cold or hurt. you got all these squishy warm bits to you.”

“That was an extremely weird way of phrasing that.” You looked down at the water, watching it bubble up from the little jacuzzi blowers. You slowly dipped your legs in the water, going to sit down on the smooth ledge, getting your pyjamas all wet.

“I’m sorry. I was in a bit of a funk and everyone else kept grabbing me to ski with them.” You apologized, feeling a bit guilty for skimming out on him.

Sans watched as you got in the hot tub, tilting his skull to the side in slight confusion. “water you hoppin’ in for?”

You shrugged, swaying your feet against the grind of the bubbles. “It’s warmer in here, and my legs hurt bad from skiing all day. I want to sit down.”

Sans snorted. “pfft. imagine.”

“All of you have said that same thing to me today but in different forms.” It was almost like you were being made fun of for being a human, which was an odd reversal.

“well, we are the same people in different fonts, so i’m not surprised.” He shrugged, swirling his hand around in the water.

You didn’t answer, staring at him in silence. It was dark outside now, and the blue light from the hot tub was illuminating him from the bottom angle. You felt a weird twinge the longer that you looked at him. He looked different right now for some reason. He looked extremely attractive.

You nudged yourself to slide closer to him, sitting up next to him with your arms touching. Sans glanced over at you, taking a moment or two to think over his words.

“that letter you wrote for me a while back,” Sans started, his voice a bit quieter than usual. “i still uh, have it. i read it sometimes when i’m not feeling well.”

“Really?” You asked. “That was a few years ago. I didn’t think you still had it.”

Sans shrugged again, a few water droplets rolling off his shoulder blades. “i dunno. i didn’t bring it up back then when you gave it to me. i really should have, i wish i had. nobody- nobody ever…”

He paused. Nobody had ever treated him like you did, let alone give him a heartfelt letter that he re-reads a lot more than he’d like to admit. Nobody ever paid close attention to him. Not until you.

“you just… i know i’m not good at sentimental stuff, but you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.” He stared down at the water, watching it bubble and swirl around.

God, it was really cold outside.

You smiled softly, reaching your hand under the water to grab onto his, your fingers tightly intertwining with his phalanges. “I’m really happy I met you, Sans.”

He finally stopped avoiding your gaze, looking at you with wide and wobbly pinpricks. “yeah?”

“Yeah…” You felt a weird swirl in your stomach again.

Say it.

Say something before the moment gets ruined so that you won’t linger in regret when your time passes. Regret that you never said anything. Regret when he finds someone else.

You dragged his hand off to his side, still holding onto it tightly as you scooted up, sliding yourself onto his lap to face him.

Sans faltered, his expression going from relaxed and content to shocked. “whoa buddy- you’re awful, uh, close there.”

“Am I?” You stared down at him, a small smile on your face. “I didn’t notice. Maybe this hot tub is too small for us.”

“yeah,” Sans snorted, looking away for a few seconds before looking back to you, his freehand going to wrap around your waist to pull you in closer. “not my fault i’m big-boned, hehe.”

“Maybe it’s time to lay off on the ketchup.” You laughed, the mood between you two becoming comfortable again.

Sans stared up at you in silence, the area under his eye sockets tinted a light blue that was barely noticeable unless you were close like you were to him. “there really isn’t anyone like you, y/n.”

The small space between you two closed off, your lips pressing against his teeth.

It was uh… a unique experience, that's for sure. You weren’t expecting a normal kiss considering the fact that he literally had no lips at all, and his smile never moved or faltered unless he got hurt, but instead, a nice, almost tingly feeling rushed through you. It was good. It was kind of intoxicating.

You had to pull away first, the kiss being held for so long that you were almost convinced he was not going to pull away at all.

“Check it, now you can tell all your friends at work that you finally got some action.” You joked.

Sans’ gaze on you was loving, and he didn’t respond for a little bit. “uh, yeah. hehe.”

You cocked your head to the side a bit, not sure if he understood what you just said. “Hanging in there okay?”

He nodded, letting go of your hand so that he could trace his phalanges along your jawline before resting to cup the side of your face. “yeah, just thinking. we have the whole week here left. when are we gonna tell everyone?”

“Tell everyone?” You paused, not realizing the repercussions of the situation. “We should probably wait until we get home. I don’t want them to get any weird ideas while we are all out skiing.”

“that’s probably a good idea.” He leaned in again, giving you another quick kiss. “so… we’re a thing? what do you humans call it? datemates?”

“So close. That’s what you guys call it, but good try.” You leaned into his hand, finding it to be a bit warm for some reason. “But yes. Datemates is nice.”

Sans chuckled, finding it a bit odd at how you leaned into his hand. He had never done this before with anyone. “cool.”

You both sat there in each other's arms for a while, talking and giggling over random things with several kisses in between words, some for the moment, others to make up for how long you went without being able to give that sort of affection. The problem of telling everyone else would wait for later. Both of you were happy right now.

Hello! Sorry it took so long to come out, but tysm for reading!!!

[musashden]

Kurt's Favorite

Yeah I ship them. Huge shock. Moving on.

I love love LOVE Kurt and Jago together. Their dynamic is just perfect. Big man in charge and his vicious little accountant. Kurt loves money and Jago is the one keeping him and Barghest flush. It also doesn't hurt that Jago is cute as a button. I imagine Kurt lets Jago get away with everything. My head cannon for Kurt is that he has a weakness for brats.

So what do we have here? First is these two trying to be stealthy. Maybe they head out to Nightcity for a date but seeing how Kurt's face is on a blimp they have to dress very lowkey. It doesn't work, they get spotted and spend the night out running the police - which is actually a perfect date for these two idiots.

Like I said, Jago is Kurt's favorite so when his babe needs a nap you better believe Kurt has a shoulder to lean on. And you had better keep quiet - Jago needs his beauty sleep.

What do you think they're chatting about? My guess, Jago is rattling off random facts about dog breeds and Kurt just likes hearing him talk.

The last one is just an old meme plus another head cannon that Kurt likes honey mustard.

Do you ship Kurt and Jago too? Great! I wrote a bunch of stories about them already:

Mag Dog

Screwed the Pooch

Delicate

[pseudophan]

do you mean the mustard that comes in the metal tube. that shit is strong af i love it but i feel like that's bc im from northeastern europe

i haven't had any metal tube mustard but i love most of them im ngl. i'm not a big sweet mustard person unless it's like, balanced. like the super sweet ones i'm not a fan of. some honey mustard is good but it depends. the VERY VERY spicy mustard is like, no one eats this. mixed with something else sure but no one eats that on its own surely. dijon is great but again on it's own its a bit much, i'll eat it but like.. it's too much. dijon is def the be all and end all for adding to other things though. so good. the best mustard is the heinz mild yellow mustard and anything else that resembles it i think. like i think that's the peak level of spice and flavour. i say the mild one cause it's called mild here, i wouldn't really call it mild but having tried actual Not Mild mustard i guess it is very mild. idk if that's what it's called everywhere. it's good though. love mustard.

[zeherili-ankhein]

What food items do you think Vasant worshippers can offer to him

ACTUALLY I HAVE QUITE A FEW SUGGESTIONS FOR IT YK!!!!

Mushrooms 🍄: I like mushrooms they are nice... But if we go by ancient Indian rules, a lot of people (Hindus mostly) didn't like mushrooms and mushroom eaters... But I think Vasant would love them lol

Edible flowers 🌻: Foods made of edible flowers and flower seeds like sunflower, mustard, lotus, aparajita, pumkin flowers etc... there are great recipes with flowers yeah...

ALSO I think he'd really love banana plants cuz moatly all of it's parts are edible lol so I guess he'd like Mocha (banana flower) and Thor (not Odinson it's banana stem people 🗿)

Fruits 🍉: Other than normal edible fruits and berries I think he'd also like recipes made of fruits... Like palm, coconut, again banana and all that

I think he'd like taler bora (its palm fritters for people who don't know bengali) alot lmao

Lentils: Anything and everything made with lentils

Corn 🌽: He just feels such a baby corn or sweet corn guy tbh also he likes popcorns

Dairy products: OFC THAT'S A MUST

I mean he's a pretty kheer guy ig... But also I think he'd like pithe puli (no I'm not at all a biased bangali🗿) but also he likes sweets all kinds of sweets wk and I guess he likes Paneer too

Honey 🍯: This is no perticularly a food much I guess he'd like honey alot

Trees or plants 🌳: Okay what I mean is... Sugarcane, banana stem, bottle ground stems.. and alll stem-y leaf-y stuffs.. like saag

Vegetable 🥦: Ofc he'd like vegetables and I feel like he'd a karela lover idk.... I guess he likes bitter things too...

[germhammy]

(Mis)Adventures of Little Wednesday- aka Wednesday’s mirror image niece

“Lunch time”

Ruthie set down Jack’s food bowl as GomezJr, Little Wednesday, Koda and Tyler all took out their lunches

Ruthie: what’s everybody got today? I got a honey baked ham sandwich with honey mustard on honey bread. And some honey potato chips with vanilla honey pudding

Dayton: -laughing as he approached the table- do you always have honey, Ruthie?

Little Wednesday: -chuckling- No! After you left, Dayton Mrs Ottinger decided to do some cooking and testing. There was a lot of food. She made three hams!! GJ and I took one home

Dayton: can I sit with you guys?

Tyler: sure! -scooting over to make room- Next weekend I’m going to be doing I guess it’s like a recital? It’s just a sort of mini circus show. You want to come watch?

Dayton: oh! Yes. My dad has to go to another swim meet with the team he coached on Saturday. The regular coach asked him to help out seeing he coached them into the regionals. My mom is having a Mary Kay party at the house. I am not allowed to be there.

Koda: I will ask Raya to call your dad. She is taking all of us to Tyler’s circus

Little Wednesday: Auntie Weenie hates makeup and stuff like that. She has to get all glammed up for press events and she hates it. Auntie Eenie loves makeup and stuff

Koda: what you have for lunch, Dayton? I have Kalua pork, rice and macaroni salad

Ruthie: wait. I have pudding for everyone. My mom even gave me an extra one in case for you, Dayton.

Dayton: wow. Thanks. I got a tuna fish sandwich. Barbecue chips and some celery with peanut butter. And now pudding!

Aiyon walked up to the table. Behind him was Tommy, Wes and Cole

Tommy: -laughing- ha! You were right. Dayton did ditch you for these losers

Cole: look at him. Sitting across from his girlfriend Wednesday

Koda: if you just going to stand there bothering us. Leave

Wes: whatcha gonna do about it, island boy? Beat us up with your fancy hula moves?

Aiyon, Tommy, Wes and Cole started laughing

Little Wednesday stood up. Koda did too

Aiyon: aww. Little stormy is going to defend her boyfriend. How cute.

Little Wednesday: first of all - grabbing Aiyon by the arm, twisting and throwing him to the ground- Little Stormy is a nickname reserved for my Grandpa -Death glaring at Cole and giving him a quick one inch punch to the chest causing him to fall back- Dayton is not my boyfriend. Just a friend who has seen what morons you guys are.

Koda: my mother teach me violence not answer. But it okay in extreme circumstance. I agree with Wednesday. You are morons. Leave.

Tommy and Wes lunged at Koda. Koda swiftly dealt with them with a series of misdirections and what looked like “accidental” punches.

The lunch room cheered and laughed at how the bullying gang was bested by the gang of misfit 1st graders

[fallershipping]

Felt inspired to write a lil bit of my headcanon for Anabel's ranking amongst trainers:

She's certainly not THE best, but amongst the best. Since her Battle Facility days, she's around a champion level. Which might sound rare, but champion ranked trainers can have all sorts of ranges that might make for great disparity between them all.

Cynthia is one of the strongest, while Honey (Mustard's wife) is somewhere in the middle, and several nameless NPCs that go into the Frontier/Facility challenges are on the lower/middle side.

I'd say Anabel is a mid/high-mid tier Champion level trainer. She reached that title in her Salon Maiden days, then fell and was hospitalized for some time. Her memories were scrambled, so she thought she would never bond with her Pokemon again.

Those fears were quickly disregarded. Being around her Pokemon during her healing allowed for some lost memories to clear up. Her bonds never disappeared-- ANABEL never truly disappeared... But she had to accept she was a new Anabel.

Her battle focus became more Interpol related rather than competitive for some time, but this led to her having a different perspective on her Pokemon. She suffered some losses, but she's not pressed on becoming the best-- only to study and study and study. She is analytical, and does have strategies depending on whether she is testing a recruit, in a mission, or in a full force tournament.

Anabel is also shown to be keeping up with the times and putting G-Max on her Snorlax or Z-Crystals on her beasts or Mega-Evolution on her powerhouses. I don't think she canonly has all of these... But at the very least I like to consider Mega-Latios, Z-Move Raikou, and G-Max Snorlax as canon. Hell, I love that Masters Anabel is a defensive/support Snorlax to synergize specifically with Looker's strategy while Snorlax has an offensive movepool when she's solo.

So Anabel isn't worse than who she was in Gen 3 but... Different. A little bit more experimental and introspective. She watches a battle carefully in her animations: arms crossed and snapping her fingers when she commands her Pokemon with grace.

I guess for me the first SUMO Anabel battle, even though her team was level 61 across the board, gave me trouble the first time I battled her. And I was like "FUCK POST GAME IS GONNA BE HARD IM GONNA DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR A WHILE" because I had to use Solgaleo to get her to stop beating my ass LOL. So if she was going a bit easy on me here... I can't imagine how she is in the Battle Tree.

She's the ONLY special character to be a 1/7 rarity. She barely appears compared to the others. I think for me, that's a sign Anabel still got it so many years later...

[neiptune]

hello!! this event sounds so fun and ur writing always make me smile (i read most of you write, even for characters that aren’t particularly my faves— ur writing is just so lovely!!) could i request the prompt “you would break your back to make me break a smile.” with yuuta (if you’ve watched the jjk movie!!) i hope you’re having fun with this event!

yuuta okkotsu x you would break your back to make me break a smile

a/n: i am so flattered, thank you for your kindness. you're the first person to request something jjk related and i wanted to share how excited i was when i received your message! i'm so happy i got to write this for you and i sincerely hope you like it as well <3

The cup is way too hot and you're forced to switch it from one hand to another, which is pretty fucking difficult per se considering the bag full of snacks you've been carrying across the entire goddamn campus.

You knock again, with your head, a small mark already forming close to your right temple. He opens the door shortly after, one fist lazily rubbing his left eye and a yawn he doesn't even attempt to lessen in size nor sound.

“Hey, what're you doing here?”, he mutters, only slightly surprised at the sight of you standing by his doorway.

You let yourself in, not even bothering to reply, as you're positive the skin of your fingertips is about to melt away. You're wearing a green beanie and the mustard-colored scarf Maki has gifted you for your birthday. It's an odd combination that hides half of your face but you like having the opportunity to avoid the inconvenience of a frozen nose and chapped lips.

Yuuta watches you place a cup and a bag on his desk as you unravel yourself from that giant scarf you walk around in almost daily. He finds it bizarre, really, the fact that you always bring just one cup.

“How can you even sleep so much? What're you, a freakin' dormouse?”, you exhale as you plop on his unmade bed, vigorously rubbing your hands in hopes of getting some warmth from the friction. His room is way colder than yours, probably the coldest of the entire school. You wonder if that's also Rika's fault but you know better than to ask such a question.

“It's not like I have much else to do when I'm not on mission”, he shrugs, eyes curiously darting to the wrinkled bag abandoned on his desk. Now, the content of the cup he can easily guess: it's usually either cocoa or green tea, the only exception having been the day he had a sore throat and you had left a mug of piping hot milk and honey on the floor, outside his room. But food? It varies too much. It's too early for dinner and way too late for lunch, so what could it be? Have you baked something? Is it even going to be dessert? What are the chances of finding those lime and pink pepper chips he loves so much in there?

“It's a little bit of everything”, you end his silent rumination with an amused expression, “caramel corn, dried plums, shredded squid, daifuku, those disgusting chips you like, matcha kit kats. Would you shut the door? I'm freezing”

Yuuta tilts his head slightly, pensive. Then he reaches out to grab both the coat resting on his chair and the cup.

“Let's take a walk”, he proposes, and you have to suppress the horrified expression threatening to take over your features. You have to keep quiet and wrap yourself in your scarf again, exit the room and wait for him to grab an umbrella as the first snow of the season is expected for the evening. You have to keep the dangerous excitement bubbling in your stomach at bay, remind yourself that it means nothing. Even if he never asks for anything. Even if he never suggests doing anything. Even if it's the first time he hasn't politely asked to be left alone after a few minutes of painfully standard small talk.

So you end up strolling through a glacial Tokyo, pace slow but comfortable. Yuuta blows on his cup before taking small sips and soon insists on getting you a coffee because if your breath has to take the shape of small, misty clouds floating before your lips, he might as well make sure their density increases while you don't freeze to death.

There's a lot you don't understand about each other. Yuuta doesn't get why you care for him so tenaciously, how on earth you can even breathe through that scarf, when you had the time to learn about his favorite snacks or birthday, how you can hold real conversations with Inumaki.

As you accept to sit next to him on the grass right at the edge of a quiet canal, despite the stinging wind that's burning your cheeks, you too think about the things you don't understand about Yuuta Okkotsu. How he can sleep so much and still walk around with such dark circles, why he believes a curse should be allowed to control his life and keep other people away till the end of freaking time, why he refuses to do anything about his hands being always cold. Sure, you can guess. You can believe that he's this freaky guy who enjoys splashing around in his own misfortunes and basks in the idea of being doomed to loneliness, unhappiness, the destiny of a hero willing to immolate his whole life in exchange for everyone else's safety. Yet, you choose not to on the very same day he steps foot inside the campus. The day you, along with each of your classmates, almost slashed his throat right then and there, incredulous at the darkness he had been allowed to carry inside your school.

Still, you choose not to. Because Yuuta Okkotsu is kind, bent and resigned to the weight dwelling on his shoulders, willing to smile at Panda's dumb jokes, disappointed in Maki's initial skepticism, skeptical himself of the excessive credit Gojo gives him. And so, what if you're unable to lift the burden that follows him everywhere? What if you can't dissipate the shadows weighing down his gaze? You can keep his hands warm. You can buy something nice to eat, visit his room from time to time, just to make sure he's doing alright in his stupid, stubborn, seclusion. You can take note of precious information and make the most out of it: what makes him laugh, what's best not to mention, the fact that he doesn't like brown as a color and finds your scarf weird. You're willing to collect pieces and put them together for as long as it takes.

“Thanks”, he murmurs after a while, “I do notice, you know”

“Notice what?”

You, everything. Always.

“The willingness to go out of your way for me”

“I don't do anything, really. Besides getting you those nasty chips, but only because no one in their right mind would buy them and I feel sorry for the shop owner”, you're quick to hide your face behind your coffee, taking a quick and long sip that ends up burning your tongue.

“You would break your back to make me break a smile”, he insists, with a boldness even he doesn't know where is coming from.

“Jeez, didn't know you thought so highly of yourself”, you face the other way as you speak, because you can feel the heat rising up from your throat to the very roots of your hair. And Yuuta sees right through your embarrassed sarcasm, but he has to fight back a smile just in case Rika sees through it too.

[riordanness]

coffee… at midnight [p.parker]

1.4K wordcount

warnings: none

requested: no

Thank goodness for that one boy… I think to myself as I breathe a sigh of relief as the final customer in the line walks out the door of ‘Swift Beans’, the small cafe/corner store I work at every night after school, to save for college next year.

I wouldn’t say that I hate customers, exactly, but large rushes will never, ever be something I enjoy.

Everything about them frustrates me. The stress of so many orders at once? The mess that it leaves everywhere, because you have no time to clean up during the rush itself? The lack of enjoyable chatter with customers?

Honestly, most of the things about this job frustrate me. Mostly, it’s the endless consistency. I hate routines, especially day-by-day ones. The mundane cycle makes me want to scream.

I let out a long sigh of frustration and exhaustion as I finish wiping down the bench behind the counter, and collect the empty milk cartons to take out back to the bins.

When I come back in, I glance up as the door opens and the little cluster of bells hung above it tinkles excitedly as it announces a new customer.

My face breaks into a smile against my will. If it isn’t my absolutely favourite customer. The brown haired, brown eyed boy started coming in here every afternoon at four fifteen exactly about a month ago, and it is the best part of my day, to be honest.

The boy reaches the counter, but before he can open his mouth to order or even say hello, I grin and recite: “One caramel oat milk latte, small, and a honey mustard sandwich with extra pickles.”

His honestly surprised smile is beautiful, and so worth it. “How on earth did you guess that?” he jokes sheepishly.

I roll my eyes lightly, teasing him. “Oh, I don’t know…” I muse, tapping my forefinger on the side of my jaw. “Maybe because you order the exact same thing every single day, and you’ve been doing that consistently for like a year?”

“Technically, it’s only been twenty-five weeks,” he corrects me, his smile almost a smirk as his brown eyes meet mine.

I laugh. “Exactly.” Throwing his pre-wrapped sandwich at him (I make it early just especially for him at the beginning of my shirt everyday), I make my way to the coffee machine, getting a shot of espresso ready and grabbing a takeaway cup to pour it into.

“So,” he says, stepping closer to me to talk. “How was your day?”

I make a slight face of annoyance as I reach for the red carton of oat milk. “Well, I had to go to high school all day, and then I got stuck in this dump of a shop, as usual.” I pour the milk into the shiny milk jug, and place the steam wand into the milk, the tip just under the surface of the milk.

“Hey, at least you’ve got a paying job,” the boy laughs gently.

Raising my eyebrows, I look up at him. “Oh, that’s right. You intern for Tony Stark, right?”

He nods, suddenly looking adorably shy.

“Hey, nothing to be embarrassed about,” I say. “Even if you aren’t getting paid for whatever it is you do, I bet there’s tons of kids who’d kill to be able to work for Tony Stark. Hell, I’d kill to just be in the same building as him.”

He laughs for real this time, and I feel a little swirl in the pit of my stomach. Something about the sound, about his smile, his eyes…

I blink, shake it off, and return my eyes to my milk jug, remembering that I actually have a job and need to do it. I twist the steam knob, and hear the all too familiar hiss of the hot steam coming out of the wand. I watch as the milk folds into a whirlpool, the little ch ch ch of the steam calming my suddenly rattled nerves.

I finish steaming the milk, and expertly pour it into the espresso shot, swirling the mlk around, mixing it with the golden brown creme, before bringing the top of the milk jug right up close to the coffee, and pouring a perfect heart. I bite my lip in satisfaction.

“Aw, look at that!” He smiles, and I give him an appreciative one in return. “I think you get better at latte art everyday,” he says earnestly.

I glance at him in surprise, my brow furrowing. “You really think so?” I ask. I take a lot of pains with my latte art, watching endless videos on how to improve your milk and pouring techniques, and I like to think to myself I’m improving, but no one, not even my manager has ever actually complimented my art skills.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he says, putting the takeaway lid onto the cup, and taking the first sip, the way he always did before leaving. “Mmm, good,” he says, a phrase I’m very used to.

I suddenly feel brave, and meet his brown eyes. I’ve been dying to know this boy’s name for weeks, spending hours every night thinking about him in my bed. I hadn’t fully allowed myself to believe it before, but today, I knew.

I had a crush on this boy, and I didn’t even know his name. I was a pretty shy girl when it came to talking to people I had a genuine interest in knowing. Customers, I could talk to them just fine. A new kid at school or a cute boy? I was absolutely hopeless. Okay, time to finally be fearless, I think, and open my mouth.

“What is your name?”

He gives me that smile I’ve begun to love so much. “Peter,” he says. “Peter Parker.”

“I’m y/n,” I tell Peter.

Peter smiles at me again, and slides a ten dollar bill across the table towards me. “See you tomorrow, y/n,” he says, before he turns and leaves the store.

I glance down at the money, and the note beside it.

call me, pretty girl?

xxx-xxx-xxxx

-Peter

That night at home, I rush through my homework faster than I ever have before. I shower, yank on my pjs, and sit cross-legged on my bed as I stare once again at Peter’s note. I gingerly pick up my cell phone, and swipe it open.

I type in the phone number Peter gave me. My thumb hovers over the green call button, however. I’m not even sure why I’m so nervous about this to be honest. It’s just a phone call. To a boy. To a very cute boy. A very cute boy who I’ve been crushing on for weeks. Who gave me his number and left me a note calling me ‘pretty girl’.

I bite my lip and press the button, hard.

Holding the phone to my ear, I hold my breath as it rings, once twice, three times.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” I say, a little breathlessly.

“Oh, hey, pretty girl,” he says, his voice warm and soft. “You got my note, I see.”

“You basically handed it right to me,” I laugh. “If I somehow missed it, I’d definitely have to get glasses and I really do not want glasses.”

“Why’s that, love?”

My heart skips at the nickname, and an irrationally wide smile creeps onto my face. “I, um, hate how I look with glasses on. I used to have them when I was little and they looked awful.”

“Nah,” Peter says easily, clueless to the effect he was having on me. “I reckon you’d look really cute with glasses on.”

“You think so?” My voice is weak.

“Definitely.” He was not going to be swayed. “You are literally the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Hell, I go to the exact same store every day after school, even though it’s completely out of my way, just to see your smile.”

I’m smiling now, so big it almost hurts my cheeks. I flop backwards onto my pillows, staring up at the fading and peeling glow-in-the-dark star stickers on my ceiling. “I asked for more hours just to be able to serve you. I learned how to make barista coffees just so I could make yours everyday.”

“I think I’m in love with you, y/n,” Peter says suddenly.

My breath hitches. “I-I think I’m in love with you, too,” I say. “I have been for a while, actually.”

I can almost hear his smile through the phone. “I’m glad.”

We stay on the phone for hours after that, chatting endlessly. And the night after, and the night after that. He still comes into the cafe every afternoon, and I still make him his caramel oat latte. And honestly, I’ve never been this happy to have a daily routine.

[ninthprime]

palisade 25 spoiler post : )

fan art idea one. the figure trying to get some sleep but gur won’t stop talking about philosophy in a tone vaguely similar to austin machine elves post

fan art idea two figure has plants now so thisbe waters him with watering can (he is okay with this)

i need to know gur’s pick for movie night right now.

but for real i was liveblogging this episode to a friend and i guessed perennial would give gur to the figure a half hour before it happened. honestly of course. perennial like [gives you a spider]

cor’rina and miseri’s source for the blueprints was definitely mustard red right. what’s on that contract. where is that contract

branched man the hot new meme on strand semaphore. children are dressing up for halloween as branched man. they’re making indie comics about branched man. branched man themed fruit snacks. brnine eats them and cries

this was a really good end for phrygian…ill miss them.

the figure is my sweetie honey and when they were so weak they tripped into the cadent’s hand i was so sad and im happy they got a new outfit thats so gender and a ride in mow

excited for thisbe mage having a lowkey existential crisis arc.

what do we think will happen if the cadent finds out about the devotion and grand connection,

i hope we get some interesting backstory stuff for brnine and routine on the apostolos ship…maybe they have to break out. miseri should come with them

i hope brnine cries also.

i promised multiple friends i would make a very specific post if the real gur and brnine ever were on screen together. this promise was made before the season started. we are now one step closer

Gur Sevraq

[edward-hydes-letters]

Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle! What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream?

What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal, what's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam?

What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk, the elixir of life and philospher's stone?

And what helped Mr. Brunnell to build the Thames Tunnel, Wasn't it poteen from ould Inisowen?

…

(The start of choppy writing seems to turn to cursive…)

Ah. It would seem Hyde didn’t even want to attempt this… I’ll do my best to answer in his stead then.

Hmmm… I’d have to say… is the answer whiskey? I believe this to all be one riddle with one answer, so my best guess would be whiskey.

…the way this is written, it almost sounds like… song lyrics? Is this a song you want Hyde to listen to?

-Dr. Henry Jekyll

[abiezer-coppe]

Today I made slow cooked beef grilled sandwiches for lunch, and we made roast dinner. Something satisfying about preparing the slow cooker first thing so it's ready for lunch, fresh rosemary and oregano, patrika, beef stock, red wine, garlic, harissa, mustard, honey, butter, salt and pepper. Definitely worth it.

I've seen a lot of people say that coming home to the slow cooker on (presumably prepared by their parent) means that dinner's inevitably going to be gross. I'm sorry to say that whoever's cooking must be doing some things wrong... I reckon the mistake people make is putting too much water in there, the veg/meat will create a lot of juice and you only want to barely cover it with stock dissolved in water. I don't know what else people do, but perhaps not using enough or anything of paste consistency, like tomato puree, in combination with something like dijon mustard, harissa. But there are recipes that don't require pastes, so the sauce will be thinner so you can add cream, creme fraiche, or yoghurt to it.

Anyway I want to say that if the sauce is too watery (and you might want to do this anyway), is at the end strain the contents of the slow cooker over a pot to catch all the sauce. Put the bulk back in the cooker, but put the sauce on the hob and reduce it down on a medium high heat. You'll know when it's right because dipping the back of a spoon into the sauce causes sauce to stick to it instead of rolling off. If you have the opposite problem it's best to add more stock and reduce down, then test with the spoon. It's probably the best time to taste test it now, you can improve the sauce until it tastes better.

I don't know why I wrote all this, I guess I just think its a shame that so many people have such a bad experience with slow cooked food when it can be used to bring out so much flavour and warmth. I honestly have no idea what else people do to make their food so bad, but I think a Julia Child recipe could fix it.

[paldean-sandwich-rater]

When I was younger I would eat lettuce and honey mustard sandwiches when i didn't have the energy to make proper food...... .....thoughts..?

-@hoppip-haven

(Ooc: I did in fact do this but in my case I just really liked how they tasted lol)

Ingredients: Lettuce and honey mustard

Smell: It smells like honey mustard. Shocking I’m sure. That’s all there is. 3/5

Taste: You’re basically just eating honey mustard on bread. 2/5

Texture: Fine? I guess? 3/5

Would Chunk Eat It?: Yes. 5/5

Final Score: 3.25/5

Critic’s Notes: I mean, it’s fine. And I assume by the way you say “when you were younger” that you don’t do this anymore. But I don’t see why adding another vegetable or sliced meat would use much more energy.