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Dating App Like Bumble | Bumble Like App | Dating App Development |The App Ideas
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bumble is so crazy like what do you mean i can only choose 3 things i care about 😭😭 like sorry girlie but u said you support blm, feminism, and trans rights so i guess that means ur now anti immigrant rights ://
#genuinely like i do not wanna answer this question because i’m just gonna feel guilty no matter what i say#like i actually care about all of these. call me crazy!#god i hate this app#don’t ask me why i redownloaded bumble on a wednesday night#i’m going stir crazy#mari.txt
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trying my best to to act "normal" and "practice" social skills by doing small talk and trying to make people talk about themselves by "not making it all about myself" and asking them questions and putting spotlight on them all that stuffs. specifically on the bumble friends app but also some discord servers.
I know you're technically supposed to ask people questions when get to know them, let them answer and don't answer your own question, and not do the back and forth say related things about yourselves without being asked way like I prefer. but trying to think of questions, then how to respond to their answer without automatically "and here's related fact about me" is so hard and exhausting!!!!! is not that I want to make it about me. is that I can only talk about things I know or let conversation end completely. if I respond about me then "it's all about me" but can't think of enough responses and questions when other person doesnt give much response back and doesnt ask questions. especially when their answers are too plain and boring like less than 5 words. no extra info to learn anything about them or be able to continue conversation. no idea for more questions.
example: what kind of arts and crafts do you enjoy most? what do you like to make? tell me all about your arts! "I crochet clothes" oh cool i've crochets a few things....(right it's not supposed to be ~all about me~) uh favorite clothing to crochet? "shirts. sometimes hats" oh uh.....how's...the weather....???????????? I don't know 🥲
I can't do this small talk thing. it feels so forced and unnatural. genuinely don't know how, don't know what to do. how many questions need asked? what questions are allowed? how to respond to their answer? especially when answer is super short? when is appropriate to talk about things I know and like? does only one person ask question? do I lead everything? why is this interrogation about them? are they uncomfortable? am I asking roght questions? what questions they want me to ask? what thing do they want to talk about? why I not feel like i'm getting to know them at all? when does small talk end? don't know anything! everyone else knows the rules and expect me to know but no one teaches me! and trying to use internet to learn isn't helping because I still don't get it! and too many rules to follow it gets boring and exhausting and frustrating and confusing. especially if I follow the rules and they do not. like they're supposed to ask questions back but they don't. what do then? keep asking questions? talk about something I like? idk
I prefer get to know someone over time naturally through talking about shared interests and doing activities or sharing back and forth what we are comfortable sharing without needing think of questions and feel like we pry into each other's lives. seems easier but is not allowed in the rules. need to follow the rules, but not all things are listed in small talk tutorial posts/videos. like needing know right question to ask, what's appropriate and not too invasive, know what questions they want to answer and what thing talk about, how to respond correctly and how to keep going when you get barely any response back, how to know what is too much to say and what is good amount, etc. because small talk seems all about mind reading or guessing correctly and i always fail.
doesn't feel like I get to know anyone from it. examples I see have the people both responding with many words and questions. answers I get are plain and superficial amd short. I get bored because it feels like I do all the work. i'm expected to ask questions but they don't ask back. they barely give response. but if I add anecdote about myself then i risk it's "all about me" and they never open up enough to get to know them more. is easier to get to know people when doing shared activities to feel their natural vibe and energy or get them talking without needing prompted. but small talk doesn't do that and keeps a barrier and I can't figure out a way around it so it always ends there if i'm the one that is designated leader. I know i can't lead. dont want to. confused and bored. so give up on the conversation. therefore no new friends. only wasted energy and spoons and now too tired and burnt out to try again for a few weeks. sighs. how people do this naturally and it works?! don't understand!
#this is called masking on purpose. is an experiment to see if it works. it is not working. just hurting myself fhdhhdhjssj#but really dont know how to do it! read tutorial for how to small talk and follow the script but still too hard and tiring#used to make friends by talking immediately about special interest and bond over that#or make friends because we relate to a thing and then turns into trauma bond by both trauma dumping. dont want that one anymore!#so trying small talk to avoid trauma dumping accidentally...and dont have set special interest atm. just mild interests no one likes#so dont know how to talk besides attempt the small talk but no one on bumble app is good at talking either so what dooooo#autistic#autism#actually autistic#small talk#autistic masking#autistic friendship#adult friendships#autistic struggles#talking is just Not Fun tbh. unless im allowed to ramble about special interest and they also like the thing and talk about it back#prefer shared activities but making plans hard and tiring. getting people to actually meet up like herding cats#and cant just meet random strangers without talking and knowing them!!! for many reasons! ugh. where is “the right people”???
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i cant tell if im just late to this conclusion but are dating apps almost exclusively for hookups now (for ppl in 20s at least?) cuz i saw a post circulating a few days ago where OP claimed that its silly for ppl to go on apps for anything besides hookups and that if u want a relationship u should just meet someone in person atp. everyone in the tags seemed to agree and it had tens of thousands of notes... i was like huh??... i always knew there was a significant amount of ppl looking for hookups but i assumed there'd always be plenty of ppl looking for relationships too??!? maybe this has changed in recent years...
#they mentioned apps like bumble and hinge were becoming more hookup-oriented when i always viewed them as more relationship-seeking apps#but idk. or at the very least for casual dating not just sex
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i wish it was easier to befriend ppl online
i have tried joining discord servers to try to meet ppl w interests in common but then i hardly talk in them bc they're intimidating and i have yet to ever make an actual connection through a server
#i miss my dating apps#i don't want to use them for dating purposes i just literally don't know how to make friends outside of them#and the friend version of bumble has like no one#even when i set my range to the max distance like hundreds of miles
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I just had a really weird experience with a dating app and I don't know what's real anymore.
I matched with a cute girl earlier today, and we spent a couple hours talking about our shared interests in podcasts and history and weird niche topics nobody else cares about. It was nice, and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch sometime this week. She said she'd like that, but then immediately changed the subject to talk about her job instead of scheduling the date. I mean, that's not TOO weird, I figure she must have wanted to say no but didn't want to hurt my feelings. Whatever. No big deal. We keep talking.
She mentioned that she works as a medical scribe at a doctor's office, and I said that that sounds like a wizard's apprentice. She said that medicine is the intersection between science and magic. I replied with a throwaway joke that chemistry is just alchemy with a little flair, and then shit went off the rails because she sent me a link to a pornhub video titled "We came at the same Time - Sensual Side Fuck" and said "me when someone tells me they're an alchemist."
A cute girl sends me a literal porn link after dodging the question of whether she wanted to go on a date, so I'm confused as hell. I don't know if this is her way of flirting or what, so I replied "I'd be down to practice some alchemy if you're not busy." I regretted saying it immediately because I never talk to anyone like that, I was just blind sided by the porn and thought maybe she would think it was funny. Well, after a few minutes she says "did you just ask to fuck me?"
Okay, I'm going down in flames, I crossed a line, that alchemy "joke" was inappropriate and creepy and she's clearly not into it and she's probably gonna unmatch me and block me and report me or something. I'm still confused over the direction the conversation is going, but I decide it'd be better if I apologize and go on the defensive instead of doubling down like a jackass. I tell her "no, not really," I'm not soliciting a stranger for sex, I was just yes-anding. She sent a porn link. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to respond?
Another few minutes pass. I was 100% sure that when I reopened the app she would be gone, but no, she finally replied "I was hoping you were..."
What kind of mind game is this? Is she just looking for a hookup? Her profile specifically says she's not! I have no idea what's going on.
"Did you just ask to fuck me?" My honest answer would have been "yes, isn't that what you wanted?" but the thought of saying that to somebody makes me feel like a douchebag. Her tone with that question didn't sound flirty, it sounded accusatory, like she was outraged I had the audacity to ask for sex so soon. My social anxiety is going through the roof. Whoops, turns out she actually WAS flirting and DID want to have sex, and I've managed to waffle it and sound like an asshole no matter what I say. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
From my perspective:
Her: *posts meme about sex* (it's just a meme, nothing more. Don't read into it)
Me: *flirty memey response* (could go either way; I'm not outright saying I want to have sex with her, I'm just matching her energy. She memes about sex, I reply in kind because I thought it would be weirder go ignore it)
Her: oh my god, did you really just say that? Did you really think I wanted to have sex with you?
Me: I'm sorry, I overstepped
Her: mind games, dumbass! You don't know what I want, motherfucker!"
From her perspective:
Her: our conversation is going well, let me drop a big hint that I want to hook up
Me: picks up on the hint
Her: really?
Me: NO!
Her: oh... okay... nevermind...
So then I take a step back and try to see if there's any way whatsoever to salvage this dumpster fire of a conversation. I admit that I'm confused and ask her point blank if she wanted to have sex. I legitimately don't know if she was making a move or not, and I need her to know that I'm not the kind of guy who asks for sex as an opening move but I'm not opposed to it if she's the one bringing it up. There's no way to fix this. I failed at this interaction. I need to cut my losses, but somehow we keep talking.
She says, quote "I like making art and love. Sometimes at the same time, ya know?"
I say "do you want to make love?"
She says "we probably should."
I ask her if she'd like to get something to eat first, as was my initial date plan before the porn thing. Her response confused me even more. "I can't right now. I'm exhausted from traveling all weekend. I haven't eaten and feel like I'm gonna pass out." That reply doesn't make sense. It's Wednesday and she says she's too hungry to get dinner. That's when I noticed that her previous message ended with a period.
"We probably should," period. I scrolled back up through our conversation and realized that EVERY message she sent me ended with a period. Every single one! Oh, and some of them weren't even direct responses to anything I said, so now I'm 1000% convinced that she's a bot. I got tricked into talking for three hours with a bot, and I derailed the scam by rolling a nat 1 critical fail when it tried to sext me.
I ask "her" point blank when she wants to meet up, and it said "I need to eat first. Make food, not war, lol. Where are your top places to grab food?"
Bot. Almost certainly a bot.
My final reply, in the extraordinarily small off chance that she's not a bot, was to say it depends on my mood, before losting three or four of my go-to places.
"She" didn't unmatch, but she ghosted me. No reply.
Bot. Absolutely a bot. No doubt about it.
TLDR, I got catfished by a bot!
#dating app#bumble#tldr#tl;dr#catfish#bot#pornbot#sexbot#spambot#ai#I got played#i got played like a fiddle#dating profile#oh well#god dammit#long post#long#text#anecdote#my life#story of my life#social anxiety#anxiety#failure#crit fail
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I JUST GOT A GRINDR AD HELLO???
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the dating app experience as a bisexual is either taking a chance with the weirdest men ever who look like they just crawled out of a sewer and would say slurs or gathering up all your nonexistent courage to simply swipe right on a woman.
#lgbtq#queer#bisexual#nonbinary#nblw#nblm#fyp#dating apps#tinder#hinge#bumble#pretty women scare me#i've identified as queer for 6 years#no bitches#why am i like this#send help
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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#i was very high (on WEED) when i said that#i think she liked it though#bumble#dating#queer dating#dating apps#dating sites#cooking
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the issue with marrying my high school sweetheart is that now that we've both finally come to the conclusion that we're both bi, we're both trans, and we're both open to having sex with other people, i am faced with the fact that i have no clue where to start because the only time i have ever attempted to have sex with someone else who i wasn't explicitly partnered with, she was a metamour who we lived with.
#beldam speaks: personal#open to recommendations as i start the first year of “being in my thirties” instead of just 30#i live in a (relatively small) city in atlantic canada so like do i use tinder??? do i use bumble or is that still the straight girl app?
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i’m too judgy for apps like bumble or hinge and yet i’m too much of a homebody to meet ppl organically i can’t continue to exist like this!!! i need to join more classes and book clubs and shit
also a job with coworkers
#by judgy#i don’t mean i judge people for being on the apps#it’s more like oh one of your pictures is you at disney? pass#oh your main hobbies are super active and i’d have to go hiking with you? pass#you register as too normal? pass#too weird in a way that doesn’t match me? weird#oh you’re 25? pass#like#if we met organically i’d let these things go#but if it’s all i see on your profile no#i literally ran out of local people on bumble
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Last week's terrible Bumble date has convinced me to try OKCupid again. At least I can distract myself by answering way too many profile questions
#dating nonsense#bumble#okcupid#dating app hell#i completely wiped my old okc profile and started a new one from scratch#i do like that sonce the last time I used okc they now have a monogamous/non-monogamous preference setting#still not feeling particularly optimistic but hey what can I do but keep fucking trying
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revanced is the best app of all time if there's ONE concrete reason for android supremacy it's that. i haven't seen an Ad in months
#love piracy innit#the second part is a joke bc im stupid and didn't realise u could just paych twitter and Tumblr the same way u can youtube#but now i have bitch>:))).... i will not see an ad for Months..... ehehehehe#goodbye that one tumblr ad for bumble or smthn where the woman's like i thought ALL dating apps sucked ASS#before i installed BUMBLE#or whatever the fuck#that said i have been tempted to get bumble#FOR UNRELATED REASONS 😔😔😔#just bx it seems to b the most trans friendly dating app#idk tho#anyway.... godspeed#flustersluts
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Was kinda into this one guy i matched with on bumble cause i thought his profile was well put together and when we started talking, I was taken by how eloquent and thoughtful he seemed to be
but now he just keeps sending long paragraphs of text to me 😭
i appreciate hearing his thoughts but HOW ABOUT ASKING ME OUT INSTEAD????
#me from like 2-3 years ago would be shocked at how i am now unsatisfied with exchanging long messages with a bumble match haha#i used to hide behind chat and say it’s bc i value being with someone i can talk to about anything#but i don’t want to just keep chatting!!#i wanna meet irl and see if we actually vibe!!!#i could always do the asking out but i’m not rly feeling it now with this guy…#gonna give it another chance though but if he won’t be receptive to it then thank u next#rambles#dating#online dating#dating apps
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I would *kill* for a friend finding app that doesn't feel like a dating app
#bumble tried to do this with friend mode but it just feels like a dating app lmao#step one to accomplishing this: don't have your interface involve swiping left and right on profile pics#talking tag
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