#bumble tried to do this with friend mode but it just feels like a dating app lmao

[sidewalk-scrawls]

I would *kill* for a friend finding app that doesn't feel like a dating app

[backtoyuta]

NCT 127: How they would be as coworkers in a shitty office

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

❁ [Taeil] King of the welcome wagon; If it was your first day working in a small dinky business, Taeil will make it his sole responsibility to make the environment as inviting as possible. After all, the business wasn't some glamorous well known company, nor was it an exciting new start up, so Taeil made it his mission to paint the office as pretty as he could before you could decide if the job was too boring to keep. If you ask any of his co-workers they'll tell you nobody put him in charge of welcoming the newbie, but it seemed everybody but you noticed him do a double take at the receptionist's desk where you waited to be shown around. Soft moments included him making you a coffee every time he left to make his own, making a point of clearing a little space in the communal fridge for your lunch and hanging around while trying to maintain a respectful distance in case you had any queries so he could be the first to answer them. If you were low-key dreading your first day, you kinda forget about the nerves quickly because of his kindness and tells you cheerfully "See, we don't bite." Will make sure you have everything you need, down to the last sticky note and ball point pen, and smiles bashfully at you when you go to thank him.

❁ [Johnny] cheesy office romance; It was quite impressive really, the fact that Johnny managed to unlock every single office romance cliche you could think of and he wasn't subtle about it either. Though there was no policy really about dating co-workers, the whole situation was a tiny bit embarrassing given the blatant flirting from the titan walking around in his shirt and tie, always throwing devilish smiles from over the photocopier. Even if his desk was miles away from yours, there would always be an excuse to stroll by your work space to drop off some paperwork personally, or remind you of the meeting happening in the afternoon despite the email reminder going around. Johnny really put his bladder through it since he now took too frequent trips to the water cooler that was so conveniently placed next to your desk. The whole office gagged when you finally agreed to go for drinks after work. The hours were spent buying each other pints and admiring him with his tie loosened and shirt sleeves rolled up, revealing the delicate tattoos that decorated the skin there before calling it a night and letting him kiss you on your porch after walking you home. You kind of became the height of office gossip, which Johnny thrived in, but you couldn't really be mad when you were dating that tall glass of water after all.

❁ [Taeyong] The receptionist with first aid training; Stapling your finger was embarrassing enough, imagine the heat flooding your cheeks when the receptionist appears at your desk clutching the first aid kit, big kind eyes glancing at your finger empathetically. Taeyong was the first face you saw when you walked through the door, that alone making a wonderful first impression, also he was a very diligent worker. He never made a fuss when you asked him to fax something, make a memo or photocopy, and when you had to ring the office because you left your keycard and needed to be let in, he laughed that off with you too while assuring that it happened all the time. On the blasted day you aimed the stapler at your paper but instead caught your finger, Taeyong was the first to perk from behind his desk at your exclamation of "Ow!" and was by your side before you knew it. He apologised profusely at the sting of an anti-bacterial wipe and wrapped your finger gingerly in a plaster, his chair scooted towards you and your knees bumping occasionally. You were pretty sure every female in the office was crushing on him and you were one of many, but you couldn't help the blush when you received a private IM chat asking if you wanted to get coffee after work: "Date? :)" he wrote at the end of the message. You wasted no time typing on your computer a reply, sneaking a glance at his face from behind the desk and exchanging a smile before looking busy once again.

❁ [Yuta] The guy that lowkey terrified you; Yuta was the co-worker that, whether it was on purpose or not, pushed you away with sheer intimidation and sinfully good looks. When you first encountered him in the office you were sure he was a model undercover, and when that was debunked you were sure he must have had a much higher level and higher paying job than you. His presence read corporate, the cologne you sometimes caught a whiff of smelt expensive and you could easily picture him in a big leather chair in a tall glass building barking orders at people. What surprised you was behind the intimidating aura, lay the humility of any of your other co-workers. All it took was one painfully awkward conversation in the break room and with the power of pointless small talk you learnt that his weekend plans didn't involve a modelling side hustle like you expected, but rather being a homebody, watching animated movies and cooking dinner for one instead. When you did finally enter an established relationship with him, expect impulsive moments like being tugged into the copier room so he can press his lips to yours and run his hands through your hair, or intense staring contests when other male co-workers demanded your attention. Overall, he was terrifying, but his redeemable qualities involved making dates after work so you had something to look forward to, buying your favourite cake during office parties and volunteering to do overtime with you so you would always be entertained.

❁ [Doyoung] The manager that scares you shitless; For the position of local branch manager, Doyoung exuded way more power and intimidation than what was probably warranted. Maybe that was why he managed to get the branch performing so well, everybody dreaded being called into his office for "friendly chitchat" after making a small mistake. When you first arrived, you steered as clear from him as possible, only venturing near his office when absolutely needed. What you didn't see was the way he would watch you intently in your little office nook, always appreciating how hard you worked and how cute you looked in your office get-up. You often squirmed at the amount of eye-contact he gave you when he ran meetings and you would glance around to see if anyone else was experiencing the same thing. Nope, just you. When he did call you into his office that one time you were quaking in your shoes. You had already convinced yourself you were fired before you had even reached his office door, but the feeling was replaced soon enough with confusion when he did eventually speak to you. "I just wanted to ask... would you be interested in.... this corporate training program?" He rushed. My god, your boss was just as awkward as the next bumbling guy. It would be a while before he asked you on an official date, dinner for two, also quite a bit of paperwork to fill out with HR, but you would come to realise his icy exterior wasn't all that icy when he wasn't in work-mode.

❁ [Jaehyun] The temp that never left; Jaehyun was fresh from university, now venturing into the world of work but still had the boyish aura that set him apart from the rest of the men in the office. From the way he spoke to you over lunch in the break room you could tell he was full of ambition, but also didn't seem to be in any rush to leave this job any time soon. Jaehyun was the guy who you initially tried not to get too close to, since you were under the impression that he would be leaving after completing the temporary placement and when he left it would hurt like a bitch. However, you could have sworn his placement ended like a month ago, but eventually you learnt that he somehow managed to talk himself into a full-time position. "Oh that, yeah, I guess I just realised I had more reasons to stay." He shrugged as casually as he could when you asked about it. You couldn't deny that you were happy, not when you saw his smiling face in the conference room saving you a seat, hearing his outrageous stories from uni and always being the two to get a little too drunk at corporate parties and being sent home in a taxi of shame. Romance blossomed when you remembered that one drunken kiss in the backseat and you both bonded when your boss gave you the cold shoulder after arriving to work a little more than dishevelled and with a hangover.

❁ [Jungwoo] Desk buddy; Honestly, who could hate their job when they had a sweet Jungwoo sitting at the desk adjacent to theirs. You kinda scored when your boss appointed you this specific desk because Jungwoo took to you almost embarrassingly quick. It made your heart swell looking at all the little knick knacks on his desk; toys to fiddle with and colourful sticky notes, this was just one part of his persona. You were a little shocked when he offered you a cigarette during the lunch break, kind of exposing a duality you didn't know existed, but nobody could be that wholesome of a person. Monday to Friday 9-5 was filled with Jungwoo ping-ponging back and forth between these traits, any off handed comments he would mutter to you when the boss was giving an announcement or the conversations you would overhear him having with a friend over the phone would remind you he wasn't a total puppy of a human being. However, the way he always offered to share a snack and would flick paper and notes at you playfully was also very much him being himself. You always fluttered a little at the smirk he would throw your way when your manager was talking something boring or ridiculous, it seemed those smirks were only reserved for you. It didn't take long before he became your best friend in the office, if he wasn't in that day you were in the right mind to just call it quits yourself (and vice versa), he was the guy that made the long hours that much more bearable.

❁ [Mark] The bumbling intern; When it came to responsibilities in the work place, you tried to delegate as little of that as possible to Mark the intern. It was cute really, the guy put in 110% effort into his tasks and yet when it came to coffee orders, photocopying or sending out a memo, something nearly always went wrong. You couldn't help but admire his enthusiasm, also that he made an effort to know everybody in the office, including the cleaners. Mark was one of the first people to greet you when you joined, waving around a little notebook of Starbucks orders and a company card to splurge, urging you to write down whatever you wanted. A simple task right? Rookie mistake. Bless him, you would never tell him how his mistake of getting full dairy rather than the soy you requested led to a night on and off the toilet, but that just scratched the surface of his office blunders. Somehow, he never cost the company too much, but there was a reason why the poor boy never got promoted beyond intern. He wasn't deterred though, he'd lean up against your desk while you made idle chit chat and he'd tell you that he liked his job and he didn't aspire to be the best in this business. Where he really proved himself was during company functions, you'll never forget during the annual employee bbq when he asked you your favourite song so he could sing it melodically accompanied skilfully with a guitar. Mark's contributions to the work place were always a little unpredictable, but he kept things interesting and people, including you, genuinely enjoyed having him around.

❁ [Haechan] Probably the reason you get fired; Even in the workplace, Haechan can't deny himself a bit of mischief. He made a stellar first impression by rocking up half an hour late, sending your boss a half arsed apology and plonking down at the desk across the room from yours. To be honest, he kind of annoyed you at first, his attitude came off immature and you didn't appreciate how distracting he was when you had work to do. However, things started to change at some point. Haechan was the guy that convinced you to ditch the office party and sit on the rooftop with him to watch the city lights, the guy that sent out ridiculous memos just to catch you smile and the guy eventually became the reason for you own demise after he started picking you up for breakfast most mornings. When the manager called you in his office after being late the third time in a row, you ducked your head and mumbled something about traffic while hiding a croissant wrapper in your pocket, Haechan covered a laugh with a cough and apologised on behalf of both of you. When you asked him about why he never seemed to give a shit about anything, you learnt that it was because he had a taste for adventure; "Don't tell me you wanna stay and work here forever? Don't you wanna do something more... exciting with your life?" He asked you incredulously, like the answer was obvious. He kinda got you, no, you didn't want to work in a dingy office for the rest of you life. To be honest, when he painted a picture of moving to a big city, or taking a road trip, or just fucking off to the suburbs you didn't hate the sound of that either. When you were both sat there in your manager's office, signing off on a severance package, you weren't even mad. You didn't have time to be, Haechan was already clasping your hand and leading you to his car and laughing about finally being free, tugging his tie from around his neck whilst driving no where in particular- the start of an adventure.

[cinnaminsvga]

🌸 social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way) 🌸

A/N: This... fried my brain cells. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to WRITE... I’m not sure if any of this flows properly but it’s 5AM right now, I am tired, I am jetlagged, I’ve forgotten how to speak English, but this is the best I can do and I guess that’s all that matters. Anyway, RIP Y/N you’re about to have a bad time. *megalovania intensifies* || W.C. 2.7K

prev // part 27 of ? // next masterlist here.

[updates every 6PM PST]

Despite the summer heat already dwindling as the cooler months start to settle in, the sun still shines strongly in Ilsan. Sweat drips down your back like a faucet, the shade of the trees doing little to protect you from the midday heat. Namjoon had offered to relocate to one of the small air-conditioned cafes just outside of the park, but you chose to bear the heat instead, more interested in enjoying the packed lunch his mother had prepared for the two of you and observe the people milling about.

“Your mom is a cooking goddess,” you say with a large grin, moaning unabashedly as you chowed down on her homemade kimchi. Completely immersed in the pleasure that is Mrs. Kim’s food, you forget all semblance of dignity as you make it your goal to get all the food into your body as quickly as you can. “God, her food is so fucking good. How can you even bear leaving home?”

Namjoon chuckles, eating at a significantly more humane and dignified pace. “Believe me, it was hard choosing to study in Seoul for university, but it was a sacrifice I had to make. I’m just lucky that I live relatively close, so I can visit them every once in a while.”

“Then you oughta invite me over again some time. The dinner last night? I dreamt about nothing but her galbitang,” you say with bits of food still in your mouth, but Namjoon doesn’t seem all that phased. He’s gotten used to it, or so you hope. Habits die hard when you’ve been stuck with animals (read: boys) as friends for the last ten years.

“You can come over anytime. Though I’m not sure if you would want to, since then you’ll have to keep pretending to be my girlfriend if we do…” Namjoon trails off, his gaze lowering back to his food. His lips purse, brow crumpling in that way you’ve come to realize was he was overthinking again. “N-not that you’d have to. Pretend to be my girlfriend, that is. I can p-probably just bring home some packed lunches to Seoul whenever I come over, or something then you could—“

“Namjoon,” you call out to him, snapping him out from his rambling. You place your container of food down on the grass, raising your hands up as if in surrender. Confused, Namjoon is about to ask what you’re doing before you promptly smack him (gently), grabbing his cheeks and squeezing them together until he looks like a cute (and incredibly bemused) pufferfish.

“Huwah?” Namjoon tries to speak, but your grip on his face prevents him from moving even an inch. “Y/N?”

“Namjoon, I know we’re fake dating and all and I did agree to go with you to see your parents just this one time, but is it that hard to get it through that thick skull of yours?”  you say, eyes boring into his as you try to communicate your feelings. After a few moments of staring, you sigh tiredly when the look of confusion refuses to leave his face, his eyebrows raised in both astonishment and uncertainty. This fucking idiot, you think tiredly to yourself, but it’s hard to stay annoyed at him, not when he looks so cute with his cheeks squished between your hands.

You continue, “Aren’t we friends? Doesn’t that mean I would do anything for you, even if that means pretending to be your fake girlfriend as many times as I have to?”

Realization finally dawns on Namjoon’s face, but it is quickly replaced by sheepishness. “Oh, I guesh sho…” he says dejectedly. “Showwy.”

“Good. Now stop being so insecure!” you huff, pinching his cheek for good measure before you release him. He rubs his jaw gingerly, pouting like a child who had just been scolded.

“Okay, I promise… Sorry,” he repeats, rubbing his neck in shame.

But even then… you aren’t satisfied. Not until he can really get over his insecurity, but you suppose this is going to have to suffice for now. You can tell that Namjoon still has some ongoing conflict happening inside of him that he doesn’t seem willing to share with you as of now. You desperately want to pry, but you know more than anyone how frustrating it can be when someone tries a little too hard to help you, even if getting into right up in your business comes from a place with good intentions. He deserves to set his own pace, and you are more than willing to be patient with him (most of the time, at least. Some pinching and prodding may be useful along the way.)

“I’m not gonna leave you, you know? You’re stuck with me for life unfortunately, so you’re going to have to deal with me for the rest of yours. That was my only condition when I agreed to be your fake girlfriend, remember?” you say, giggling lightly at his dumbfounded expression. “Unless you’re tired of me already? I can always leave,” you tease.

“No!” Namjoon exclaims suddenly, nearly slapping himself in the face when he brings his hand to his mouth. A few families also eating at the park look at the two of you in alarm, but Namjoon can only bow to them apologetically. When he turns back to you, his cheeks are reddened slightly, though that could also be from being under the sun for so long. He scratches his nose: another nervous tick of his. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scream like that. I just… No, I’m not tired of you. I don’t think that’s even possible. You’re one of the greatest people I know and I like hanging out with you.”

“I…” You’re shocked by his sudden proclamation, stuttering as you try to formulate a response. You cough in embarrassment, shifting your gaze elsewhere, anywhere, away from Namjoon’s earnest expression. It’s a complete 360 from the shy schoolboy persona he had just moments ago. “Thank you… I guess? I’m just… Wow, how do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Switch modes so quickly like that? One moment you’re a bumbling buffoon and then the next second you’re saying sweet shit like it’s nothing!” You huff, hoping that your own cheeks aren’t heating up. “Seriously. Are you sure you don’t have a girlfriend?”

Namjoon lets out a short guffaw; the sound familiar to you as the one that he makes when he doesn’t know what to say. You don’t know how or when you had gotten so adept at differentiating his multiple ticks, but it makes you feel… special, for lack of a better word. You wonder if he notices things about you, too.

“I think I would be the first to know if I had a girlfriend. I suppose you’re the closest thing I have,” Namjoon says. When you look back at him, you can see that he’s smiling, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, at least my parents think you’re the real deal. You were really good last night, by the way. My mom wouldn’t stop gushing about you when you went to bed.”

“Oh God, you guys talked about me when I went to bed?” You gasp in horror, worst-case scenarios flying through your head even though realistically, you know you had been perfectly normal during the entire evening. You had even practiced in front of the mirror the week before, rehearsing the lines you’d have to say should his parents ask the usual relationship questions. You memorized the story the two of you came up with: how the two of you had met, how you’d gotten together, how long you’d been dating… It was all so ingrained in your brain that it almost felt real, sometimes.

Namjoon rolls his eyes, poking you lightly on the nose. “No, it was nothing bad. You were perfect, like always. I doubt my parents could ever hate you even if they tried. You were wonderful.”

You nod slowly, still slightly unconvinced. “Okay… If you say so. I just don’t want to mess things up for you, you know?”

Namjoon slings an arm around your waist, inadvertently causing you to scoot closer to him until you could comfortably lay your head on his shoulder. You tilt your head upwards, your breath hitching when you realize how close your faces were to each other.

“I suppose we’re both dummies then, huh? I know this is hypocritical of me to say, but don’t be so insecure, okay? We got this. We’re fine.” Namjoon’s voice dips into a whisper, his forehead nearly touching yours. When he’s close like this, you can smell the kimchi in his breath; not an unpleasant scent by any means, but you do wonder if he’d taste good if you’d leaned in right now and kissed him—

“Y/N, you have rice on your chin,” Namjoon interrupts your train of thought, catching you off guard. You yelp, sitting straight up and separating from him like you had been shocked. Namjoon doesn’t seem to notice, as he seems more intent on wiping away the stray rice grains than anything else. When he flicks them away, he smiles at you endearingly, his dimples on display for your mortal eyes.

“Um,” you stammer, rubbing your chin belatedly. “T-thanks…”

“Y/N, are you okay? You’re getting kind of red. Maybe we should head back? We’ve been under the sun for a while.” He grabs his phone from his pocket, nearly dropping it as he fumbles with it before he finally manages to take a look at the time. “Oh, damn. It’s already almost 4. We better head out if you want to go look around the shopping district,” he says, packing up his mom’s containers. “Do you want to finish your food?”

You still had a bit of food left, but your appetite had strangely disappeared. So instead, you help him pack up, ready to get out of there and get your mind off of weird things. This is fine, you’re just being weird because of the bad week you had. Let’s try to relax, you remind yourself, but even you think your words sound weak.

Disgruntled and shaky, you trail after Namjoon in silence, content to just listen to him explain certain landmarks to you as you walk towards the nearby shopping street.

“I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but if we have time, we could probably visit my old high school on our way back. There’s a small park near it where I used to hide whenever I didn’t want to go home,” Namjoon says, chuckling at the memory. “My life used to be a constant cycle of going to school and coming home to study some more, so my mom would throw an absolute fit whenever I came home late, but she could never figure out where my hiding spot was.”

You snort, smiling at the thought of a rebellious Namjoon. It’s hard to imagine, especially with how hardworking he is with all his side projects that you’ve caught glimpses of when he had shown you his workshop. “Are you sure you want to show me your spot? What if I tell your mom?”

Namjoon laughs, eyes crinkling from the sheer force of it. The sight of him laughing causes you to pause for a moment, caught off guard by how… good he looks, when he looks so honest, so vulnerable. Namjoon smiles a lot, but you’ve never seen him this cheery, like the sun had come down to earth for the day. You like it a lot; you want to be able to make him express himself honestly like that all the time.

“If you tell my mom, then she’ll know for sure that you’re the one for me,” he jokes, the remnants of his joy still present in his eyes. He winks cheekily at you, making the tips of your ears redden ever so slightly. “There are many nooks and crannies I’d love to show you around Ilsan, but we only have a weekend here, unfortunately. If you could stay another day, I could probably show you around more.”

“I mean… I could, if you want me to,” you mutter, the words slipping out before you can stop them. You inhale sharply, both yours and Namjoon’s eyes popping out when you realize what you had said.

“I just! I don’t mean to intrude, of course—“

“Y-you don’t have to stay! It was just wishful thinking, of course—“

You both speak at the same time, talking over the other as you both try to explain yourselves. You both stop speaking simultaneously as well, causing the two of you to burst into laughter. You’re doubled over, giggling as tears of mirth slide down your cheeks at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“God, why are we so awkward together? I thought I was bad, but I guess pairing two socially inept losers really has doubled our power, huh?” you say.

“I know. You’d think we only just met yesterday or something.” Namjoon scratches his nose bashfully, but the same honest smile is still on his face. “But if what you said was true, then… I’d love to have you around for another day, if you want to stay? Like I said, I love hanging out with you. This is honestly the most fun I’ve had in a long while,” he says shyly. He coughs into his fist, pupils shaking as he stares resolutely at your chin.

“Me… me too. I’m having a lot of fun too,” you admit, your cheeks heating up involuntarily. You both turn to look away, embarrassed by each other’s sudden confession. What is going on with me today? you wonder idly, forcing your rapidly beating heart to calm.

“Er, well. We’re almost at the shopping district,” Namjoon clears his throat, trying his best to wave off the suddenly awkward atmosphere. He points ahead, where you can see rows of shops and booths of all shapes and sizes, selling anything and everything you can imagine. “You’re the guest here, so you choose. What shop do you want to head to first?”

“That reminds me. Jimin had asked me to buy this skin product from some store around here. Let me check the brand; he texted me the photo before we left,” you say, rummaging for your phone in your bag. Admittedly, you haven’t been using your phone all day asides from taking and posting the occasional photo, keeping it on silent and do not disturb to stop unwanted text messages from disturbing your time with Namjoon. You know you had a few messages from your group chat that you’ve left to read for later, but it’s only now that you realize that you had another message waiting from a person you would rather not speak to at all.

“Oh geez, what does that whore want?” You sigh, going against your better judgment and opening it anyway. “I swear, if Seokjin is using me as a booty call now of all times, I’m going to rip his ass in two the next time I—“

“Y/N? You okay?” Namjoon asks when he notices you have suddenly stopped speaking. He had been walking continuously, assuming that you were following behind him only to find that you were frozen in place a few steps away, staring holes into your phone screen. He walks over back to you, concern flickering in his eyes when he approaches you. “Hey, what’s up? Did you get an important text or something?”

“No, it’s nothing important. It’s…” You sigh, not knowing what to say. Your lips begin to wobble as your senses are assaulted by confusion, pain, and heartache all at once—all because of a single text message. Your eyes start to well up, but you blink them away. You’re quick to wave off Namjoon’s slow growing panic at your sorry state, not wanting to ruin his day with your stupid emotional breakdown.

“Y/N. Who texted you? What is it? You can tell me, I promise I won’t judge you,” he whispers kindly, taking your free hand in his own. He rubs comforting circles into your palm, his brow scrunched up in worry as he watches you fight to keep your tears at bay. “Y/N?”

You take a shuddering breath.

[absoluteindulgence]

HC: Twerking Part 2

A/N: TAGS FIRST @royaltywritesstuff, @aliceinthemadness, @bakugou-katsukisgf. OK SO I MADE PART 2, I GOT A LITTLE MORE DERPY ON THIS FORGIVE ME LOL. THANKS FOR READING IN ADVANCE!!! ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP 18+. IF YOU ARE SMALL CHILD, DON’T READ, PLZ AND THANK YOU

❄Shouto🔥

So we know icy-hot is touched deprived right, so you know you're more likely to tease him with your big ole rump-shaking booty

He loves a little bit of teasing but as soon as you're close enough, he's gripping your waist tightly, grinding his junk onto you.

If you're lucky, he'll groan in your ear, "you think you're so smart don't you, baby? Follow me and I'll give you a real reason to keep shaking"

Yeah, he knows what twerking is, he lives with you. And you love to do that left cheek, right cheek move. When you do, his world is forever changed and loooooooooves (do you hear me) loooooves when you do it during reverse cowgirl.

MANS WILL NUT

🐙Tamaki🐙

This shy ass man

Okay so, he's heard of twerking but thought it meant something else.

Before you guys were dating he misused the word for another way to call something cool

"Hey Y/N, You were twerking during our spar session."

He said this in front of his friends and they just looked at your face. You were highly confused and flustered, to say the least.

When you've settled down you pull him to the side to explain what twerking really meant.

This dude blasts off like a fucking rocket.

You bring him back to earth, tell him it's okay and shoot your shot.

Honestly, after living with him, it's his favorite past time to do with you.

When you guys are laying down in bed, and you're on your side with your leg on him.

His hand + your ass = twerking

He's jiggling your ass in his hand until he's calm of all insecurity or until he can't stop himself from being inside you. No in-between unless he's between them cheeks.

🌽Monoma/Monomania🌽

(Ooooof, okay so I'm not mentioning 1-A at all lol. I'm not up to date in the manga so this is the purest HC I think of him. Also, I left the monomania because when I wrote this on my phone that’s what it autocorrected too lmao)

So he's a cocky dickhead but also a shy bastard

He knows what twerking is but got the wrong girl to shake their ass on him.

You come along being cute and MS. THICK IN THE HIPS, and he bites his bottom lip

So he tries to flirt with you and at first, you're not feeling it

But after going to a party and talking to him for most of the night, you play a game of truth or dare

You ain't no bitch, so dare

The dare is to give a lapdance to anyone of your choice

So of course, you choose this biscuit head mf

Pulling him by his hand into the closest chair and clearing the dance floor

You're a bit of a wild card depending on whether or not you drink.

Could lead to you being Shakira where your hips don’t lie, or you belong at Jamaican dance halls

That night happened to be Jamaican dance hall... you broke the chair under him and did a split on the dick

Someone is screaming LEGEND in the back lmao

After your performance, he's smitten with you, says the right thing and finally, y'all start going out. And now you have to split on his dick if not every night, every other night.

He feels good knowing that his dick is long enough for you to do it and brags about it all the time, lowkey (let’s face it high-key) getting on your nerves

But if you do it, he'll bust quick and you can go to sleep.

📼Sero📼

So on some level, Sero is a man of class and standards

So when he sees you bounce that ass, he's fogged in approval.

The ripples on your ass get him goooooing

Tie this man in his own tape and have your way, shaking your boohoooty on his junk, I promise he loves it. As your faves say, "LEAVE THAT MAN IN A PUDDLE"

He likes it when you're looking for stuff that you use all the time. Because you go into full search mode and your ass is usually up in the air. 

you end up finding what you’re looking for near ground level cabinets/storage spaces.

It leads to interesting sex sessions...

You: How the hell did my hair ties end up down here?

Sero casually rubs your booty: Well don't you look good enough to eat...

Idk if he eats ass but hey with those teeth anything is possible. LOLJKJKJKJK

Sero is a body worshiper don't at me.

He wholeheartedly loves you and your body. Hanta will plant kisses all over you, your ass included

So if you're ever mad at him and you say kiss my ass, he will gladly say yes

🌝Ojiro🌝

(Honestly, what can I say about this man?)

He likes when you're trying to get his attention and you're being goofy by shaking your ass

You know he's mesmerized by your body and here you are distracting him

Whether its work from home or hanging with his friends

Rump shaker you is one of the best parts of you

Ojiro never knew what a rump shaker was until you showed him. Right after that, he’s a bumbling, fumbling mess

He's very touchy-feely if you're close enough.

Grabbing your waist, hips, thighs... titties.

Your upper half is just as important to him as your lower half.

You're titties bouncing, while you're twerking is woooooow to him

He just loves you on top of him

Also when you do the reverse cowgirl, bounce as hard as you can on his dingaling and hold his tail..... nutsplode

💪Shoji💪

SURPRISE, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN HIS GRASP WHILE TWERKING ON HIM

He's very quiet and reserved but comes out of character when you dance on him, he's the literal life of the party or clinging to you the whole night

I honestly think he can grab your waist and hips at the same time.

Oh my God, he gives the best massages ever.

Once in a while, he'll tell you to lay on your stomach and rub you down

He's like Tamaki but knows what he's doing.

All those hands rubbing on your ass is an absolute tease

Back on topic; he's not controlling but he loves when you're twerking in private where only he can see your ass bounce

If you're into a certain music genre, Mezo will deadass make a twerking playlist

Yes, he will, don't @ me. He listens to everything and will tailor the music to your liking.

Literally listening to old school and new school rump-shaking songs just to help you get your best ass workout

HE'S BUYING YOU UNDERGARMENTS THAT MAKE YA ASS POP, OKAY

A MAN OF TASTE, WE STAN

[ohmrlove]

They Meet Your Family (on Thanksgiving)

Hi everyone! Long time no see! Work is very busy, so I’m trying to get around that however I can! (≧▽≦)

I hung out with my family yesterday and one of my cousins brought her new boyfriend--then this!

🍷 Victor 🍷

Is both ready and not ready to meet your family. On the one hand, it’s autopilot business mode--keep conversation going, on the other hand, IT’S YOUR FAMILY

Is afraid he’ll come off too blunt or intimidating because he knows he has hardcore RBF (resting bitch face)

Mentally prepares himself for all the ass-kissing and gushing. Probably makes some funny jokes and bets about how many people are going to do it

If you want to join in on that bet and do something fun, say he has to pledge a dollar or whatever amount towards the next couple’s night just so you can destress from all that!

If you’re serious about putting that pledge money somewhere, he’ll flip a coin or will get someone to randomly pick a charity

Second-most likely to get into an argument with THAT family member (or members)

If he’s tasked to cook a side dish, expect him to cook it multiple times because EVEN THOUGH THIS MAN IS A BANGING CHEF, HE’S CONVINCED IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

iT cOuLd bE bEtTeR

You finally tell him if he makes it again, and you have to eat more of it, you won’t eat any come the gathering. Suddenly the last batch is enough

Would also DEFINITELY come through and offer to get something special ordered or catered if lots of people are coming or the ovens will be tied up (or no one wants to cook)

Is actually super uncomfortable because he knows everyone’s going to kiss his ass and ask all the nosy questions for at least an hour or two

He’s the one people catch playing with kids or cats and they’re surprised at how nice and carefree he looks

If he can’t talk down or make it pointedly clear that someone’s conversation is making other people uncomfortable (or they’re just toeing the line of being an ass), there WILL be words

Or he will make it known just by leaving. That sends a pretty clear message

Wants to help set dishes or the table but ends up feeling like a bumbling idiot in someone else’s home and is shooed away for being a guest. Victor feels like a freeloader and doesn’t like it

The one who knows everyone’s name and their taboo subjects because he studied this shit (also, he’s really good with names/faces anyways

📢 Gavin 📢

Also has a milder version of RBF

He speaks abruptly but not to the point of being intimidating. Gavin’s just not one for a lot of words. Too complicated

Blushes really easy during those beginning awkward conversations? Look at his ears and neck!

Stumbles through the first few conversations and DEFINITELY has to ask people to repeat their names

Relaxes after about an hour or if he finds someone he can connect with--someone into sports or who likes a show he watches, or likes to drink.

Is way more active than Victor so he’s the perfect kid-chaser and playtime buddy. He’ll never get tired!

Tolerates kids pretty well but is in the mindset of lecturing them and/or explaining why they shouldn’t do something if he sees ‘bad behavior’ happening

Probably co-conspired with another family member to do a fake arrest or spin some story for a really misbehaving kid :o

He thought it was funny but the kid was scared to death. You’re not amused

Is proud of his cooking when it comes to you two, doesn’t want to share it with your family. Either bought something from the store to look helpful (”S/O brought ‘x’, I brought more drinks. I hope everyone likes them.”) or just left the prep to you. He bought the ingredients and carried it in though.

The one that’s ready to help set up outside chairs and tables

He’s the one that makes cooks happy because he goes back for second (and thirds)

Isn’t the best at taking pictures because his eyes end up closed or his wind blew his hair the wrong way, but they eventually get a good shot of him. Boy’s photogenic, just awkward.

🔬 Lucien 🔬

Considers it an event in people watching

It’s also a treasure hunt for your personality--where did you pick up your traits and quirks?

He’ll mentally track any strong genetics. Things like that fascinate him.

Is 100% mentally prepared for a lot of his work to go over people’s heads. He’s used to phrasing his research different ways

He’s an extremely adaptable conversationalist; he’s got a wide range of topics and knowledge at the ready! Lucien just has to want to talk about it

Very self-conscious about talking too much, and ends up doing the exact opposite

Can BS his way into looking calm, but is actually extremely shy and careful with his words. If not for his smile and kind, watchful gaze people would think he’s being stiff and short with them

Would MUCH rather chase any animals around the house or play with toddlers.

Will answer all the ‘BUT WHY?’ questions little kids have

The one who’s hungry but doesn’t want to make his plate. You sense this and make him one. Lucien is legitimately hungry but also relishes the excuse of having his face full so he can’t talk

Probably ends up getting roped into giving a few diagnosis even though he’s not that type of doctor. Would be honest and tell them he’s guessing, and that he’ll ask around his network of people for more info

Once his introvert/people battery is burnt out he’d very much like to leave (please help him leave)

Probably dozed off after all the food; I can see him sleeping with his head on your shoulder or off in a comfy chair in another room

If your family has a nice backyard or lots of trees and things, he’ll want to go on a post-meal walk to see the flora and fauna

Will help the kids try to catch bugs or teach them about animals he saw on his walk (with pictures, of course)

Overall, he made a nice impression. He’d end up being that weird but cool uncle that’s a nice hermit kind of guy.

🎤 Kiro 🎤

He knows there’s no easy or good way to include himself in your family.

Everyone’s going to freak out and gush about him, given who he is

The two of you tried to ease into things and drop hints but that ended up amping everyone up for a big reveal they DID NOT expect

He’s not super worried, given his Evol, but he will DEFINITELY come to your defense if someone accuses you of trying to be with him for money

He’s also especially sensitive and disgusted with people trying to hook up with him (they’re your family? You’re dating?! You think he’d CHEAT?!) and will call them out on the spot. No shame.

Kiro loves you--you’re his moon and sun!--and he won’t tolerate that FOR A SECOND!

Is low-key exhausted when people ask him all the standard nosy reporter questions

Kind of hates that they ask him about all his travels and other celebrities. He gets that it’s the allure of a ‘celebrity’ but he wanted to learn about THEM. They can search his name and get ALL this info!

If this goes on for too long and he starts to feel like a spectacle, you’ll get him out of there quick and just have a private Thanksgiving

Is super nice and helpful with any kids. Keeps them all distracted and from underfoot while cooking happens

Prefers the joy and company of kids way more because they’re more honest and less...back-stabby? Snake-ish? than adults who think they’re smart and clever

Records nice little messages and videos for the kids or their friends, but won’t live message anyone.

Teaches them some easy choreography in another room or open space like a backyard

Is the unexpected CHAMP of eating--can put almost everyone under the table

Goes HARD on desserts because his agent isn’t here to stop him. Also, it’s rude not to at least TRY the food he’s offered!

The type to complain about how much he ate while trying to reach for one more bite. Stop this man. He has no self control.

If the kids have a craft room (to keep them from being under foot) and they make anything for him--especially if it has his name, like a bead necklace or bracelet--THAT’S NOT COMING OFF! It’ll probably show up in some interviews.

Survives the social onslaught but definitely enjoys getting back to the quiet of the road

If it’s a really long way back or you two flew out to attend, he’s excited to get back to the hotel and relax with you.

Hope you liked it! Happy late Thanksgiving to those who celebrated it!

[silvcrlining]

finley, self-para: back to the beginning

Finley had only lived in the Valley for a little over a year. DC shouldn’t feel that different to them when they come back, but it does. Something about that angers them, but they can’t quite place it, so they sigh, lean back against the park bench, and pull their hat-- a beanie with a T-Rex stitched onto the front-- further down their head.

“They’re not selling ice cream because apparently ‘it’s winter and no one wants ice cream during winter,’ so I got us some hot chocolate.”

They glance up as Levi, their stepfather, comes bumbling down the street from the hot chocolate stand in front of the Smithsonian, wearing a similar beanie with a triceratops on the front along with a goofy smile. He takes a seat beside them, handing them one of the styrofoam cups.

“We’d get hypothermia if we got ice cream.” Finley mumbles, staring down at the line of steam that rises from the cup. It had been three days since they had hitched a ride on Sloane’s van so fae could drop them off at their parents’ house. Three days of catching up with their family, plastering on a fake smile, pretending everything was fine. Three days until Levi all but forced a stepfather/child bonding day. Early on when him and Finley’s mother were still just dating, he had tried to bond with the Martin siblings by taking them out to a museum every other weekend and getting ice cream after.  Finley had left soon enough for college, though-- guess he wanted to make up for lost time. And dinosaurs were cool.

“But we’d have ice cream. I think that’s a fair exchange.”

Finley lets out an exhale of a chuckle that dies as quickly as it came. They sit in silence for a few minutes, taking sips of their drinks, letting their bodies warm up against the chilly weather.

“So... do you want to talk about it?”

They hold back on reacting, “About what?”

Levi glances at them out of the corner of his eye, takes a long sip, “Jillian... that’s her name, right?”

“... Mom told you?”

“Reese might have overheard your conversation... She might have mentioned a thing or two.”

Damn it. “Hm.”

Levi is a therapist, which means he’s patient, which means he never pushes too much. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.” Finley appreciates it, but it also irritates them. He knows what he’s doing. Reverse psychology little--

They settle into silence once more. It’s comfortable enough; though Finley and Levi never got to spend too much time together before they left for college and then for Stardew Valley, Levi was a people person, in a similar way that Finley was. He was friendly, caring, genuine-- it was hard not to like him. But among that comfortable silence, there’s an underlying tension. Finley hasn’t slept that much lately, and they haven’t stopped thinking about Jillian, and they haven’t talked to anyone about it. And they want to. They’re tired of being in their own head. They finish their hot chocolate and sigh.

“... You know Mom and Dad were high school sweethearts?” They mumble, looking down at their lap and picking at a loose thread on their jacket. David, their biological father, who they haven’t seen in quite a while.

“Mhm, they were.“

“For the longest time, I thought they were-- not made for each other, but, like... something like that, you know?” Their brows furrow, “But they weren’t, and that’s... fine.” He’s a piece of shit, anyway. “And then they got divorced, and...” They pull at the thread, snapping it from the fabric, “... Mom just fucking... lost herself.”

Levi nods patiently, and if he’s heard this story from his wife already, he pretends not to know, “How so?”

“She... I mean, you know her. She has a strong personality.” Levi smiles at that despite himself. Softie. “But for so long, that was just... gone. And then she tried to get back into dating, which I thought would help, but... honestly, it kind of made things worse.” They couldn’t have known it back then, and maybe they still weren’t fully aware of it now, but it had planted a seed of fear within them that had only kept growing, “It was like she became someone new for every single person she saw... I love her, but it was so hard to be around her back then. I-- Reese and I barely recognized her anymore. I don’t think she recognized herself. It was... it was so fucking scary.”

“Why?”

Their brows furrow deeper, the corners of their lips curling downwards. They’re trying to hold back tears, “I thought I’d lost her.” Finley and her mom never had the closest relationship. Her mother was headstrong, stubborn, bad at showing emotions, and Finley quickly took after her. They butted heads often, but... despite it all, Finley looked up to her. And when she fell that hard, Finley was at a loss of what to do.

Finley has Maisie had temporarily broken up by then. The fear had begun seeping into their relationship-- what if I’m just pretending to be someone for her?

“You and Maisie were high school sweethearts too, right?”

Their shoulders tense, and they rub at their ring finger and huff out a humorless laugh. “Yeah.”

“Were you afraid?” He asks carefully, his gaze settled on them, worry etched into his features, “That you’d lose yourself?”

Finley nods. How couldn’t they? They were a carbon copy of their mother and father’s relationship. The more similarities Finley saw, the more red flags they conjured up in their mind.

“Are you afraid that’ll happen with Jillian?”

They pause, find another loose strand to tug at. “... I don’t know.”

“Well... how did you feel with her?”

Flashes of Finley and Jillian at their house. Their eyes closed as music filtered through the living room, stupid banter exchanged like they always did-- though it felt gentler this time around--, dumb pinky swears, a sudden urge. “Is this fine with you?” muttered in between them in a moment that shifted everything; an answer with a kiss. They melted into it.

“Safe.”

“Is safe good?”

It was October, and in the midst of chaos, they looked to each other for comfort. They let each other into spaces few traversed. They knew each other. They believed in one another. They trusted each other. In the midst of chaos, there was a momentary shelter from the storm in her. In them, together.

“Safe is dangerous.”

Levi’s brows furrow, “Why?”

“Because...” There’s a lump in their throat. Their chest feels tight.

“You’re a frightening woman, Jill.” They mumbled to her on the floor of the vacant general store, a wine drunk smile on their lips.

The two of them, dancing like idiots in the Saloon, recreating a moment that didn’t happen a year ago-- because it was meant to happen now. Finley didn’t think about the people around them staring.

The feeling of Finley’s heart the moment Jillian exited the mines-- when the firecracker they thought could have been snuffed out came out, still shining. Weak, but shining. Relief flooded their body and they drowned in it.

That night in the forest, Finley lending her their jacket after seeing she was cold. Seeing her tiny smile. It smelled like her when she gave it back. They didn’t know why they didn’t mind it. They should have known.

They huff, rest their elbows on their knees and blink back tears, “Because it makes me feel so... vulnerable.” The moment they began to feel comfortable with someone, as much as they did with her, they couldn’t help but the thoughts that eventually came rushing in: it’s not going to work out-- you’re not good at this, anyway-- you’re going to lose yourself-- you’re going to repeat your mother’s mistakes-- just keep your distance-- maybe you’ve already found yourself, and you’re just an asshole.

“And vulnerable is... bad?”

“Yes.” They answer like it’s supposed to be obvious. “That’s when all the bad shit happens-- when you... let your guard down.” The words feel wrong in their mouth now, the guilt buries itself deeper within them. They made her go through that. They made her... the image of Jillian’s face, red from the cold and the anger, her cheeks wet from crying. Finley can’t help it anymore-- they break. They tip their head down until their forehead knocks against their knees. It’s quiet, and then a sob breaks through, “Fuck.” It’s one, and then another, and then another, until they can’t keep the tears from streaming down their cheeks. Levi is silent, his brows furrowed. He rests a hand on their back, rubbing small circles there, and lets them cry.

“I’m so scared.” They mumble through their tears. “I‘m so scared that... I damaged everything beyond repair again, and--” A small sob, “And I... I hurt her so fucking bad. I just keep seeing her face, and...” They uncurl themself. Their hands go up to their face, rubbing at their eyes even though the tears keep coming. “... I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this. I’m so scared of going back and seeing her, and seeing everyone and knowing they all know what a piece of shit I am now, and... fuck.”

When they lost Maisie, they lost most of their friends here too. And maybe it was selfish of them to be thinking about this too, but they didn’t want to lose their new friends. Though they feel like they probably already have, and the thought sends another pang into their chest. After a moment, they rest their head on Levi’s shoulder, “I don’t know what to do...”

He wraps an arm around them and rests his head on top of theirs, “Well... you go back.”

They sniffle, “And do what?“

“You try.”

Cue the humorless laugh, “That’s what I was doing, and it all went to shit.”

“Oh, is that what you were doing?” He pats their shoulder and turns to look at them. Carefully, he uses his sleeve to wipe away the rest of their tears, “It seemed to me like you were running. Maybe one of us is looking at it the wrong way, hm?”

He retract his hand, and Finley just stares at him, eyes tired, jaw tensing and slackening until: “Can you go back to nice therapist step-dad mode?”

He grins. “That is my nice therapist step-dad mode. If you have a problem with it, you’ll have to talk to my wife about that.” With a small pat to their shoulder, he stands up, beckoning them to follow, “Now come on-- let’s head back home before we get hypothermia.”

-----

It’s the fourth night, and Finley lies in their childhood bed, staring up at the faded glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling. Through their earbuds, the playlist Ben sent them unexpectedly-- this small bit of hope that maybe not everyone hated them-- plays... Yes, they have a box of tissues next to them.

“And what happens if I try and I fail anyway?”

The song finishes, and while they wait for the next one to begin, they start scrolling through their contacts. First, they stop at Dr. Ali’s number. They tap on the message button, write out several versions of the same text, then delete it and go back to their contacts. They go to Ben’s contact and write out a text to him.

[ to: Ben ] thank you.

[ to: Ben | unsent ] i’ll try to come back soon

“Have you taken the time to entertain the thought that maybe you won’t?”

They sigh, go back to their contacts. This time, they stop at Jillian’s. Their finger hovers over the call button for an entire song. And then another. And then another. Their heart thumps against their chest like an alarm. They can’t do it. They lock their phone screen and sigh, turning to the side and curling into themself as the rest of the playlist drawls on. They don’t sleep much. They keep staring at their backpack strewn in the corner, wrap the blanket Malia had given them closer around their body. They listen to the noise of city life outside. They wish it was quieter.

“But what if I do?”

“Then you try again. However many times it takes.”

[drugs-and-deadlines]

she & her

You are haunted by the manic female NYC writer trope. Not a trope, really, because that feels like a reduction of her wiles, her slipperiness, her popularity, her perseverance, and her sex. It is a certain kind of ghost, progressive and beguiling, her kink as boundary pushing as the prose lifting up her personal narrative. She sculpts meaning-making out of every lived moment in her life, but most especially the young ones, because those are more thrilling for her audience, wherein she oscillated from a teetering cocktail of stimulants and alcohol, between egotist self-aggrandizing and pure self-flagellation. 

You know exactly who she is, because her definition and her very body is composed of the resistance to definition, most especially the questions and expectations of femininity. She is by turns lithe, waifish, possibly sick; by turns defying categorization with a smirk and a firm muscular body; by turns unafraid of her fatness in brain and body to take up space. When she generally speaks of her body, it is to make a philosophical point about the world at large and the place of female-bodied people in it; she skewers her feelings about her own corporal form with analysis. You know her because you have flirted with her in a literal sense, but also a figurative one -- you have let your body, fashion, and being explore each of the categories but none of them ever stuck. And a big part of you has feared why that is -- perhaps you don’t know yourself, perhaps your indecisiveness outstrips your ambition, a thoroughly un-manic trait. Perhaps, most horrifyingly, you fall too cleanly into a Freudian ball of neuroses to allow yourself to ever be you and thus will always be chasing the best way to present yourself. And meanwhile, while you’re asking yourself all these questions, she is writing.

She is not just writing. She is staying up late, refining the same sentence with rigor, stripping it further down to its essentials while you stare up at the ceiling, wondering at the opportunities you’ve missed. She is a ghost because she is able to slip through all the cracks of the house that is your life. She creates a mythos of every doorway she’s passed through. Even in her floundering, even in her telling of her own failures, there is a sort of certitude that each bumbling embarrassment served the narrative purpose of bringing her right to this moment: a moment of fame, of byline, of acknowledged brimming talent. 

If you had little money or privilege growing up, she had all of it, spending summers on a family boat in Greek waters, inviting friends from your liberal arts college to come along and therefore fall in love with her for years. She deliberately chose not to apply to the Ivies because she wanted a less conventional path; you chose not to apply because you never thought you could get in. She ends up dating the women from your past and you watch the thirst traps and inside jokes filter their way through Instagram and Twitter, a life you might have lived but weren’t brave enough or wealthy enough to attract. You cannot offer anyone a good time consistently because it exhausts you along with the other trappings of the class you were born into. You eventually grow out of resenting that which you never had, but the injustice of how the rich always have extra time still stings. Time seems to be everything a writer needs. 

If you did grow up with privilege or money, the ghost shapeshifts. She worked her way through undergrad as a server, or possibly a dominatrix or a stripper, a woman aware of the power of her own body and the ability to turn society’s preying into a currency she could use. She is always embodied, all her couplings and couplets enviable because of the bravery that surrounds them. When she is tired in her classes the next morning, it is only because she worked a double the night before. Her voice still leads your class’s intellectual thought, she openly confesses that she fell asleep in her work uniform with Plato’s Republic two pages away from the end of the reading assignment sometime around 2am. She does this in your 8am class. You’d hope to catch her for lunch, but she always has work to do, is always begging off invitations, and you hope desperately that it’s true and not because you’re not cool enough. And on the weekends, she always seems to have friends from work and beyond inviting her out. They have nothing to do with your age group or with the school you both attend. She is rapacious in her discipline but still somehow has time to try all the drugs you haven’t tried and are too afraid to. How is she so unafraid? Her fortitude and coolness with hard work is a currency too, making up for all the things she didn’t grow up with. Every privilege you’ve ever had only seems to undercut your sense of whether you earned anything. She is raw, willing to say the first absurd thing that comes in her head. Her poetry takes risks yours cannot. 

And you are pissed. Because regardless of where you come from, you are confronted with all these Instagram realities (that only make larger the actual realities), which is mostly that the rules are still the same. You avoided trying to be a cool girl as a child and a teenager because you knew you could not accomplish it, and so you strove to satisfy yourself with being an intellectual. You decided to give up on being an actor or a singer or a dancer and plunge yourself into letters because you thought it would be a refuge from constant performance. Constant performance required constant realigning to the changing modes of cool, and so you thought writing would suit you better. How wrong you were. 

Writing in itself is a more complete performance: if you are serious about it, you must be an intellectual builder of words in every moment of self-narrative, whether spoken, written, or posted. You listen to tales of “dressing for the muse” and showing up at the writing desk at 6am. You also listen to tales of complete slobbishness, writing on the floor with crayons, unafraid to make mistakes while creating in underwear and a tank top. Sex and danger, especially when both can be intertwined, are palpable in every sentence and interaction the manic girl has. It is part of her attraction. No knows if she’s going to want to fuck or fight, or, best of all, floatingly let you know she thinks you are full of your own light. The latter ideal scenario happens right before she leaves you to stride home, empowered enough to tromp through the late night New York City streetlamps dappling through the trees, deciding to walk with your now ever-aggrandizing thoughts rather than take the MTA. She is most thrilling when she leaves you wanting more, which is always. Your thoughts ping around your head with a velocity borrowed from her own. 

Once home, you look up all the writers she mentioned and see them all connected by several nodes: one MFA program or a particular residency, publishing house, or theater company. You become determined that this node is the epicenter, which will be true for a time until you’ve penetrated it and find another node of hot writers beyond your reach. 

There are always conversations happening without you. There are always people fucking without you. There will always have been a better time to be in New York, some time well before you were here, when it would’ve been easy to meet these intellectuals and be friends with them and the real estate was cheaper therefore making the creation of art and myth more accessible. You will always have missed the boat by five years or more, something you curse your age or attachment to another city before this one for. They took time away from the pulsing magnetism of your true love for this city, and you resent that, because now you are less attractive, less energetic, less manic than you were when you were younger. You cannot stay out for so long without chemical dependence & when you do, you bemoan that you should’ve been writing. But when you stay home to write, you invariably miss the moment when you would’ve met the right person who would’ve fallen in love with you & asked to read you.

You alternate with being obsessed with her, wanting in some way to possess her as a friend or ally or lover, to actually being possessed by her. The need to write what you know are brilliant fucking things infecting every moment -- prose pooling into an appetizing puddle at the bar, waiting for you to mop it up, poetry lingering on the steering wheel, electrifying your hands when you touch it to go go go go go fly to paper, even in those moments when you are fully possessed by her and become her, it is not enough, there is a time when you were more brilliant, more boundary pushing, more consumed by the manic need for a narrative that you simultaneously sculpted in your own life and committed opulently to paper. The poetry monster is always hungry. There is always a better-worded performance of the myth of your own making and you begin practicing by interviewing yourself. The graphomania can always, always, always increase its acceleration. But better that than a pandemic-inspired staring at the ceiling, this moment when you are certain you missed your chance and it will never come again, that there will never be a doing coke in the Village with some rich folks you barely know, the bumps wrapping you in cynicism and excitement for your new friend group all at once. No, in your pandemic reality, and perhaps before, clout is only gained via social media and you seem to be especially bad at that. The manic NYC female writer is better at it. She is genderbending her own performance of herself, twisting her depression and isolation somewhere in Connecticut or New Hampshire or her Manhattan fire escape as something to be envied.

How, you wonder, how how how how how

And then it becomes obvious

Her performance of self is nimble like white supremacy, resilient like the virus itself, always finding a new way to shapeshift her experience into something artful. You should be using this moment, because she certainly is. Because what the manic NYC female writer has is an obsession and possession of talent, a haunting that allows her to keep working at the problem into the late hours, when hers is the only light left on. And then there are moments when she obsesses instead of possesses, moments when the light is off but she is still awake, questioning this ceiling, her choices, and the fact that she’s chosen a stable partner beside her in bed instead of an ever-shifting existence that allows for new narratives to come in. She questions her life with the same rigor she does her stories, every choice that does not suit the performance and pursuit of her potential.

And, to that end, all of her/your characters become you/her or are versions of you/her -- and that is the only constant. The feedback she/you get(s) in workshops is that your/her main characters are too similar and that is precisely the point -- you are her and she is you and you both see one another on every street corner and every passage, only a few centimeters to the left in an alternate universe. The Quantumness of it all exhausts you and haunts the many yearning yous, the whole network of them, so overwhelming that then you must return to the facts of your autobiography to find stable ground before your own architecting of your autobiography shifts it again.

[ajoy3fanfics]

Missing PT XIII

‘You need to let him go’

That’s what Sango had told her; If she had been honest with any of her other friends, she was sure that would have been their advice too. What on Earth was she doing, hanging around an ex, the very one who shattered her heart and didn’t think twice? When he left her, he didn’t call, didn’t try to rectify his wrongs. He moved on, never looking back at the damage.

But then there he was, showing up at her doorstep, begging for a moment of her time. Just when she thought she could move on from him, he came bursting into her life, shining his attention on her and making her feel starved without it.

She shouldn’t feel that way! They were over! O-V-E-R. She had to keep reminding herself of that; He was sick, his love was sick, and all of it was just temporary.

It became a mantra; ‘he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me’. Somehow, Kagome thought that if she kept repeating it, it would make it feel less real. Yet no matter how many times she mulled it over in her head, it was hard to turn away from the man she loved.

Loves?

Loved.

Her phoned vibrated and she thanked God for the distraction. Any more time spent thinking on the hanyou would lead her down a rabbit hole she didn’t dare to follow.

‘Up for a movie?’ Koga, of course. Kind and sweeter than she deserved.

She should reply quickly; it wasn’t good to leave him on read. She didn’t feel much like going out, or seeing even him for that matter. Before, she looked forward to their dates, to getting out of the house and spending time with him. Their last meeting left a heavyweight in the pit of her stomach that took days to shake. Not that he had done anything wrong- the complete opposite, really. He wanted more, wanted her and she didn’t exactly know how she felt. They were not exclusive, although she knew the wolf demon was not seeing anyone else; it put a pressure on her she wasn’t sure she was ready for. No, she and Koga were just casually dating, or at least that’s what they had agreed to; So why did it feel so much like cheating every time she thought of Inuyasha?

When she was with him, she felt like she was sneaking behind Koga’s back, and when she was with Inuyasha…

All her thoughts were on him. He was always present, her mind never cast off in a million directions. Her attention was always on him, on the way he looked, the sound of his laugh, how good he smelled or the way one corner of his mouth turned up more than the other when he smiled.

It wasn’t good to be like this, to let these feelings fester. How long was she going to let the hanyou control her? She should focus on Koga, focus on her future. She should ask Inuyasha if he ever went to his doctor's appointment.

Damn it!

She should choose Koga, chose a new path, someone who wouldn’t take her feelings for granted and run off when their relationship became rocky. Koga wasn’t like that; but then again, she didn’t think Inuyasha was either.

It was so out of character, so strange how it happened. It was as if his personality did a complete 180. Sure, his temper could be short at times, but he was never cruel. How could someone go from such a loving man to someone who turned their back so easily? By the end of their relationship, she felt like she didn’t recognize him anymore.

She was shocked to learn he was calling for her at the hospital; The desperation in his voice, the way he clung to her… she had never seen him afraid. If he lost his memory, he was working off his feelings from back then. He must have loved her, must have truly cared at some point. How could it all have gone so wrong?

It didn’t matter.

And yet it did, and it was driving her nuts!

She couldn’t just continue on like this, stuck in limbo, waiting for Inuyasha to fall out of love with her, waiting for some closure that would probably not happen.

Kagome knew what she needed to do.

She had made up her mind.

~.~

The phone buzzed, immediately catching his attention, making him put down his pencil and halt his work on the clients blue print; it seemed that no matter what he was doing, he was never too busy to respond to her texts. She did that a lot now- texting him. When they first started talking it was minimal communication; awkward and brief, only relaying the basic message that needed to be sent.  Now, she was opening up, talking about her day, her frustrations, the good parts and boring. It reminded Inuyasha of how they were, before; He dared enough to take it as a good sign.

Especially when she texted late at night. That itself was something that had him fantasizing in a million different ways. Was she lonely? Did she miss him? If she thought of him in the early hours, it must mean that she was alone and Koga wasn’t warming her bed, and that was fucking brilliant.

It drove him crazy to know that that damn wolf was still sniffing around her; He had found out that they weren’t official, but they were dating, and that alone was enough to make him rip Miroku’s couch to shreds, which, by the way, was getting fucking old. He needed to find a place and soon, but apartment hunting took so much damn time.

‘You’re going to the doctors today, right?’

Boring. He wished she would talk about anything else- what she had for lunch, the color of her panties, when he could see her next. Really, anything else; But no, his ex-fiancé was in full-on nag mode. He knew that when she was like this, there was little that could stop her.

‘Not today. Too busy. I’ll go on Friday.’ He responded, rolling his eyes as he tossed the phone on his desk. Miroku, his mom, hell, even Sesshomaru had been on him about going to get a check-up; he had meant to, but he just kept missing the appointments. How could he get to the doctors when there was so much work to do? It buzzed again, and even though he knew it would be grating, he was still thrilled to receive something, anything, from her.

‘You better to go, Inuyahsa. I mean it!’

She was concerned, that had to be a good sign, right? Kagome was worried enough about his well-being enough to argue with him about it. That had to be good, right?

‘Yeah, yeah. Thanks mom.’ He sent back, biting on the corner of his lip. He knew that it would get under her skin, but he said it anyway.

‘You better. Don’t make me get your mother involved.’

Ouch, a real fucking threat. She’d do it too, if history was any indication. Not that Kagome called his mom over petty arguments, no she wasn’t that type. His mom just fucking loved Kagome, a lot, and they always seemed to team up and back him into a corner when they were on the same page.

‘You should. She misses you.’ He sent it on impulse and regretted it immediately; he tried to keep it light, did his best to stay in the friend zone and not bring up their relationship. Yes, it was the giant elephant in the room, but he was a coward and he’d rather dance around the issue and be with her than to confront it head on. There would always be time for that some other day.

‘Yeah, I miss her too.’

He didn’t know what to say next, how to move the conversation along from there. Should he change the subject? What the hell could he talk about? His mind was racing as he panicked, his claws tapping on his wooden desk as he searched for an answer, Kagome supplying one before he could.

‘Are you busy tonight? Can we meet up?’

It felt like a mistake and an opportunity all at once.

‘Of course.’

What else could he say?

~.~

The ride back to her apartment seemed too short, at least in Inuyasha’s opinion. They had gone out for coffee, she walking and he driving to meet her. While they sat sipping it suddenly began to pour, the rain heavy on the concrete sidewalk, and Inuyasha was more than thrilled to give Kagome a lift home. It was nice to have her in the passenger seat again, to have her by his side.

He pulled up, parking in his old spot, the feeling more nostalgic than he would have thought. A simple gesture, but one that threw him back, took for granted back then. As he cut the engine, he turned to look at her, his breath-stopping, all thoughts lost.

The air felt heavy, hot. She was looking at him half-lidded and if he didn’t know better, he would have thought she wanted him. He had seen that look on her often enough, fuck it was ingrained in his mind, but she hadn’t looked at him that way, been so close to her like this in a long time, and fuck if it didn’t make him nervous. He felt like a bumbling idiot, too afraid and jittery to make a move. “L-let me grab my jacket.” He stuttered. “I-I can walk you to the door.” Kagome bit her lip and nodded and Inuyasha just about died.

Shutting his door behind him with a loud bang, he whipped around to Kagome’s door, holding his jacket high overhead to protect her from the rain. She stepped out, squeaked a bit from the weather and the two of them ran to the front steps of her apartment, the small awning making them huddle in together as they said their goodbyes.

“I should go.” He said, silver hair damp with rain, sticking against his forehead. Kagome smiled, reaching up to push away the stray locks, tucking one behind his ear, the hanyou doing his best to control his blush. Her hand rested on his cheek, cupping it tenderly as she searched his amber eyes, looking for hesitation, looking for recognition, for truth or love- she wasn’t sure anymore.

“Kagome,” he breathed out, covering her petite hand with his own. “I-“

She cut him off, unwilling to let him finish lest she lose her nerve. The kiss was slow and tentative at first, an underlying hunger they were too afraid to indulge in. When they broke away, quickly, much too quickly, Inuyasha knew he was panting and he didn’t care; Kagome’s hands had traveled down, grasping his muscular arms like they were her lifeline. Had her eyes looked this blue before? Had her lips been so full, so plump? Her scent so spicy and alluring? Everything about her in this moment set his senses in overdrive, leaving him feeling both drugged and charged for more.

“Don’t go.” She pleaded, her tone hinting that she was worried. As if he could turn away.

“Are you sure?” He asked, the words sounding foreign to his own ears. This had to be a dream. And to his utter surprise, she nodded, clutching him harder, her eyes never leaving his.

She didn’t have to ask him twice.  

~.~

A/N: Hey guys! I am super happy about getting to this point, and even more excited for the next chapter! Thanks for sticking with the story and reading! I hope everyone had a great holiday and has a happy new year!

[writeyouin]

Ratchet X Reader – Christmas Gifts Part 2 of 2

A/N – After y’all broke into my house and held a knife to my throat, I wrote this. Please, don’t make me Paul Sheldon in Misery, I’ll do whatever you say.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

You. Everywhere Ratchet looked, he found traces of you. You were in the base, and even when you weren’t, he often found items you left behind. You invaded his processor, especially when the nights got long and lonely. Primus! You were in the very air itself, Ratchet could practically taste when you were nearby. It didn’t matter that you didn’t come to the base as often anymore since he’d began avoiding you, Ratchet still couldn’t forget his desire for you when you were everywhere.

Ratchet was doing everything in his power to stop his feelings for you, but it was no good. It didn’t matter that he locked himself in his hab-suite whenever you were in the bunker or that he buried himself in work for a distraction, because his processor always dared to challenge him and ask the impossible question; what if?

What if he could be with you? What if you felt the same way as him? What if an inter-species relationship was possible? What if? What if? What if?

Ratchet growled and shook himself, relieved that nobody was around to see him so worked up,  yet contrarily annoyed that the others were not around to provide him with a distraction. His optics travelled to his berth where your blanket was draped neatly, the only splash of colour in a room devoid of any other personal items. It wouldn’t be so bad if Ratchet could bring himself to throw the blanket away, but he couldn’t; the woven string meant far too much to him. Ratchet offlined his optics momentarily so he couldn’t see your gift, but it did him no good.

Wearily, he decided to get back to work, trying once again to create a synthetic version of energon, if only to keep himself busy. After reviewing his notes, he headed into the bunker, stopping dead when he saw you, unpacking an overnight bag as if you’d never left. When had you got there? He didn’t recall hearing any of the other bots dropping you off, but then again, he’d been entirely distracted.

Uncomfortable memories ensnared Ratchet, forcing him to relive the pain he felt on Christmas day. Everything about the memory was so vivid, Ratchet could almost feel you resting your head against his alt-mode like you had then.

What if…?

He clamped down hard on the thought, refusing to indulge himself with the answers his mind sought. So what if the two of you had shared something remotely intimate then; what did it matter when nothing could come of it?

“Excuse me,” Ratchet croaked, turning on his heel and thinking of the sanctuary of his hab-suite.

“Ratchet,” You pleaded.

Ratchet shuddered, hating the longing he was sure he’d imagined in your tone. He couldn’t face you, but he did stop, inclining his helm slightly to the side to show he was listening.

You weren’t sure quite what to say, having not expected to get as far as you had when you saw him; it was the first time since Christmas that you’d seen him. “You- You’ve been avoiding me,” You said, hurt that you had to bring it up.

“I’ve been busy,” Ratchet responded coldly.

“Did I do something… wrong?”

Ratchet hated the pain he was causing you; he hadn’t anticipated that losing a friend would cause you such grief. Despite that, he clung tightly to his resolve, leaving you in favour of his hab-suite, “I have work to do.”

Despite wishing to remain calm, you couldn’t help the messy sobs that escaped you as you broke down, losing the bot you loved to something you didn’t understand. Ratchet gritted his dentae and walked away, feeling the toxic hit of self-loathing he was growing accustomed to.

Running as fast as you could with tear-impaired vision, you went into the bunker, searching wildly for Raf’s laptop. The only thing fuelling your actions was the need to escape the base as soon as possible. You’d seen Raf open the ground-bridge from his laptop before and hoped it would be relatively easy to do so yourself.

The second the laptop started up, it became increasingly obvious that you had no idea what you were doing. You pressed a random mix of keys desperately, becoming frustrated when nothing happened. Occasionally you would look to the spot where the ground bridge usually appeared, willing it to life, even if it took you to another country for all you cared.

Throwing the laptop down, you stood where the bridge was supposed to be. “Please,” You whimpered. “Please open.”

While you begged every deity you knew of to help you find an escape from the base, Ratchet sat in his hab-suite, clutching the blanket you’d made for him close to his chassis, unsure of whether he wanted to keep it or tear it in two. Why hadn’t he at least been civil? It wasn’t your fault he was avoiding you. He let the blanket fall into his lap, holding his helm in his servos; they were supposed to be the servos of a healer, if that was true, why couldn’t he remove the pain from he felt now?

Ratchet’s wallowing was disturbed by three sounds in quick succession; no matter how much he would later try, he would never be able to forget those sounds. The first was screeching tyres, followed closely by an energon-curdling scream that ended all too quickly with a sickening thud.

Ratchet ran from his room, stopping short when he saw Bulkhead standing over your unconscious body, apparently in a state of shock. What had happened was obvious, nevertheless Bulkhead tried to explain, stammering shakily throughout, “I was- (s)he- (s)he was just in front of the ground bridge when I- I didn’t even see- and then I crashed and (s)he went over my bonnet- I- I-”

Ratchet could have listened to Bulkhead ramble, he could have stared at the blood dripping lazily from a gash on your temple, he could have fixated on the last, awful words he’d said to you. Instead, he snapped into action, using every precious second he had to save your life before it was too late.

Nauseous. That was the first thing you felt when you regained consciousness. The second was the realisation that something heavy seemed to be weighing you down, though you lacked the energy to open your eyes and see what was going on. You weren’t surprised by the nausea you felt, however you were surprised that you remembered everything prior to whatever was going on now. After being run over by a car, or in your case a Cybertronian, you would have expected not to remember anything at all.

All too suddenly, you were pulled out of your thoughts by the pain that had apparently woken up when you tried to move. You gritted your teeth, groaning miserably.

“Don’t move,” Ratchet’s familiar voice warned. “Your left leg is fractured in two places, your left arm is broken, and I suspect you have a concussion.”

You opened your eyes, blinking rapidly until they managed to focus on the old doc-bot who was stood over you, blocking out the merciless lights above. You glanced down, hoping to see the damage that had befell you, but only finding the heavy blanket you had kitted for Ratchet, draped protectively over you.

“Huh, so you’re not too busy to talk to me now,” You croaked pitifully, trying to mask your pain with a joke.

Ratchet moved away quickly, and you grimaced as the light burned your eyes. “You should be left to rest. I’m sorry to say I can’t give you any more medication to relieve the pain.”

“Hey, don’t move a muscle, we have a lot to talk about, and I’m clearly not going anywhere.”

Ratchet sighed, coming back to your side, knowing that the problem at hand had to be resolved.

You smiled weakly, “Huh, if I’d of known all it took was Bulk slamming into me to get you to talk, I would have done it sooner.”

Ratchet’s gaze darkened as you resorted to fatalistic humour again. “Don’t talk about that bumbling oaf to me!”

“Woah Ratchet, roll back the hate, we both know it was my fault Bulkhead-”

“Don’t defend that idiot!”

You frowned annoyedly, “Quit being mean, it was an accident.”

“He’s an accident.”

“Ugh, you’re like a bitter old woman, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Don’t turn this on me. It’s not my fault Bulkhead always breaks the things I need.”

You swallowed thickly, finding it difficult with a tongue seemingly made of sandpaper. You didn’t have to ask the meaning behind Ratchet’s words, everything in the suddenly heavy atmosphere told you he meant you. You waited for him to get defensive and take the words back, but he didn’t. His optics bore into you and he wondered again, what if? You felt the question in the air as well, however unlike Ratchet, you dared to ask it.

“Ratchet,” You murmured, struggling to sit up and barely holding back the bile that threatened vomit when you did. After a second to regain your composure, you spoke again, “I keep thinking about… us. What if-”

“(Y/N),” Ratchet pleaded sorrowfully, “don’t.”

“But-”

“No, I can’t- I can’t be what’s best for you.”

“You already are,” You murmured softly. “I don’t want to lose our friendship by saying it, but I-” You hesitated as your befuddled mind struggled under waves of pain to put your feelings into words. You finished by simply saying, “I want you.”

Ratchet’s optics grew wide. He no longer had to ask what if? Because you’d answered it and now there was nothing in the way of a relationship he’d only dreamed of. All the same, he shook his head, “I can’t be with you.”

If you had to choose between the physical pain of your injuries or the heartache you felt upon hearing those words, you would have picked the injuries because the feeling of rejection was like a thousand daggers slicing at your breast, digging in until they could stab your vulnerable heart.

“At least,” Ratchet added, “not until you’ve recovered.”

“What?” You said pitifully, biting back tears.

“Doctors should never date their patients (Y/N)… but after that, I don’t see anything else standing in our way.”

You gurgled a messy laugh, “Never scare me like that again.”

If Ratchet wasn’t concerned with your health, he would have kissed you then, as it was however, he settled for resting his servo over yours, “Please rest now, we can talk more later.”

You complied, mumbling something Ratchet didn’t catch.

He tucked you in. “Sleep well (Y/N), I’ll be waiting for you.”

Like my work? Buy me a coffee and earn preview of the next fic, or commission me on the commissions page.

[crabsticksforbreakfast]

Help! New York has stolen my boyfriend!

I haven’t written for a VERY long time, I know. The truth is, I tend not to need to when I’m happy, and happy I have been since I got together with my lovely S2 a year and a half ago. Of course there are difficult moments, especially when my brain does the thing and I get all anxious for stupid reasons, or he goes off script in some way and I don’t have a way to cope with it.

Right now, he is going off script, big time, and yes, I am struggling. Once I say what it is, some of you are going to say, “pffft, what the hell is the big deal”, but remember (a lot of people seem to forget) that each brain works differently. We all have our own fears and our own set of values that we assume other people share, or at least can understand.

So, what has he done? The answer is, he has gone to New York. Not forever (thank God), but it has sent me into a horrible spiral of anxiety, just as I knew it would when he very first told me about it. He has gone to support a school trip, and he will return on Tuesday. Here I am definitely sensing the “pfffft”, but hang on. Let me explain the many reasons why this messes with my brain.

My boyfriend and I are in some ways very similar creatures. We’re silly and childish with a weird sense of humour, we like being lazy and cuddling up together, we both LOVE music, we have similar views on life and what we want life to be, and we love going on adventures... together. Whether at home or away, I have become very used to having him at easy reach. We meet up every Wednesday after work for date night, and I stay at his parents’ house with him at weekends. When we go away, I drive us somewhere far away, deep in the countryside, usually, and we wander around together, totally content with each other’s company. I have a few friends, S2 has none, but we have never actually hung out with my friends or anyone else. It’s always just us, and I love that. He is my safe zone, my happy place. We always send each other morning texts with a precise amount of kisses, and after work, we text all evening until bedtime, often using the same phrases and bringing up the same in-jokes. It never gets boring, and I still get the same butterflies when his name pops up on my phone as I did in those heady and confusing days before we got together. I rely on our little routines to get through the day. I guess you could say I’m addicted to him and the way we do things - I’m addicted to being a part of a perfect pair, and not one thing in this world would tempt me to willingly walk away from that, even for a moment.

One Wednesday afternoon, I’d driven the forty minute drive from my work to his to pick him up. I don’t like the drive, but I do it whenever he asks me to (he usually catches the train and I collect him from a station closer to home) because I like to make things easy for him and because it means I can spend as much time with him as possible when he finishes late. When I pull up outside his school, I’m usually a little shaken as I’m a nervous driver and there are some scary roads on this route, and this day was no exception. When I saw S2, my little heart lit up and I gave him my usual greeting, a “helloooo”, a big grin and a kiss. We drove off into the town (more scary roads) and while I was driving, he told me something that could have easily made me crash my car - he had signed himself up to go on a school trip to New York during February half term. My heart sank, and these are the reasons why:

1. Half terms are the only times we get to spend any REAL chunks of time together. I didn’t want to miss out on this time that I enjoy so much. Looking forward to half term with S2 gets me through the term! As much as I love doing what I do, working in a school is exhausting and sometimes stressful. Even when we don’t go away on holiday, being with him is holiday enough.

2. We were meant to be looking for a place to live together. S2 had agreed to check out some caravans parks with me during February half term and I was so excited. I have always had two dreams in life. One is to be in a beautiful forever relationship with my perfect person - check! The second is to have my own home and move out of my mother’s house. I could see my dream on the horizon! And then it disappeared.

3. I felt hurt because his decision to go went against one of my own values - I would never, ever, choose to do anything when the alternative was spending time with S2. My friends all know that I will fit them in AROUND my timetabled S2 time. Even my own mother has (I think) finally come to terms with the fact that my weekends belong to S2, not her. When I have uni work, instead of doing it at weekends like I used to, I do some on my lunch break, and the rest in the evenings I’m not with S2. Any “fun” things wouldn’t even make it onto my agenda if it meant “fun, but without S2″. I felt so deeply disturbed that S2 was happily choosing to do something he didn’t actually HAVE to do at a time that he would have been with me. Even now, after knowing he has chosen to do this, I still stick to my values. Things have come up that have peaked my interest, but as soon as I’ve realised they are happening during S2 time, I forget about them. Someone could offer me an all expenses paid trip to Norway with guaranteed Northern Lights and my own little red cottage with mountain views and I’d still say no if it meant being away from S2. Priorities! I didn’t feel much like a priority when I heard what S2 planned to do...

So, feeling all of these things at once, but still trying not to crash my car, I went quiet. S2 noticed something was wrong and starting trying to ask me, so I started doing that annoying “woman” thing of saying, “I’m fine” when I really wasn’t fine at all. Realising it was about the trip, S2 started back-tracking, offering to pull out if I really didn’t want him to go. At this point, a whole bunch of other thoughts popped into my head, on top of the hurty feelings I mentioned above:

1. What the hell kind of bitch girlfriend would TELL her boyfriend he couldn’t do something he wanted to do? One of my all-time pet peeves is when people are controlling over their partners and try to impose rules on how they live their lives.

2. BUT I REALLY, REALLY didn’t want him to go! So how could I just lie and say it was fine when it felt like my heart was being jammed into a shredder? 

3. Even if I did pretend it was all good in the hood, how long would it be before my mask fell off and S2 saw how upset I really was about it? And what would happen then? Would it change anything? And if it did change anything, how bloody guilty would I feel about it?

So, in my usual painfully awkward way, I bottled it all up until we got to his house, and as soon as he mentioned it to his parents (who were really thrilled about it) I went into shut down mode, realising I was failing terribly at not crying in front of everyone and locked myself in the bathroom for a panic. After this, I tried to put on a brave face and cook dinner like a normal person, but I couldn’t, and S2 wouldn’t stop looking at my eyes and trying to get me to talk about what was bothering me. If you’ve read my blog, you’ll all be very aware of how difficult I find it to actually talk about my feelings to the person those feelings involve. I ended up turning into a pitiful, crying mess, forcing out each excruciating word, which made me cry even more. Somehow I managed to express some of what I was feeling and obviously this made S2 feel so bad he wouldn’t stop holding me and telling me or hinting at his secret plans that should really have stayed secret in order to make me feel better. What those plans were is a whole different blog post, so I won’t go into details! I mean, sort of knowing his intentions with me did make me feel good, but it still didn’t make me feel better about this New York trip. By the end of the evening, he had uttered the forbidden word (love!!!) so many times I was on quite a high, and he had also said enough to make me think that he probably wouldn’t be chosen for the trip anyway, so I pushed it to the back of my mind for a week.

The following Wednesday, I made the same journey to pick him up from work, and I had almost forgotten about New York. But then, at exactly the same point on the map as last time, he mentioned it again... and this time it was worse. He was actually going. I can’t actually remember how I reacted. I think I was kind of numb. I guess I’d thought about it enough and kind of expected it deep down, so I managed to appear OK. Obviously I was broken into pieces, but I was also so emotionally tired that it didn’t show. Feeling guilty, S2 directed me to a nice restaurant (where we’d gone on our first date) and pulled out all the stops to make me feel better. Again, all very nice, but it didn’t change the fact that he was going...

Because I actually value my relationship and don’t intend to start messing it up, I have managed to keep up my brave face until now. I got all through Christmas and my birthday without letting the dreaded NY monster take over me. S2 talked about it, but not so much that it triggered my anxiety, and things just kind of bumbled along smoothly. I tried my best to stop seeing his choice to go as a direct insult, and that was probably the way I helped myself the most. I also talked it out with Binbag and Skittles, who both completely understood my feelings and offered their services to cheer me up while S2 was away. Before their offers, my plan had been to sit under my duvet and cry for five solid days, so I was grateful, despite knowing exactly how my mind would be dealing with (or not) my situation. Little did I know exactly how hard it would be, or what complications would come along to make things even worse.

Yesterday at around 4PM, I parked up and saw that S2 had texted me. He was just getting on the plane and promised to email me when he got to New York. A part of me was freaking out because AAAAGGGHHHH IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING, but the promise of his email was something to cling on to. I kind of knew roughly how long the flight would be, so had a time frame in mind where I expected to receive contact. Good. I could just about cope with this. I went home, decided I needed a Chinese, ate the Chinese and sat around watching rubbish TV until I felt tired enough to go to bed. That was around 10PM. I had already made sure my notifications were switched on so I’d be woken up at some point within the next few hours by S2′s “I’m here” text. Ignoring my obvious niggling anxieties about his plane nosediving into the ocean, or being shot by Donald Trump upon arrival, I drifted off into a pretty deep slumber. 

Unusually for me, I didn’t wake up until about 4AM. At first, all I could think about was the weird dream I’d just had about trains and bicycles, but then it hit me. I hadn’t had my email! Surely he couldn’t still be on the plane? The flight would not have taken 12 hours, so surely he was already settled into his hotel and had had plenty of time to send me a quick email... Cue extreme panic! Cue sending myself copious nonsense emails to make sure my app was working! Cue desperately trying to Google something that gave me an indication of what had been going on with flights to New York! Cue taking to Facebook for reassurance from people who were definitely all still asleep! Cue crying, lots of.

The hours that followed were some of the most stressful and upsetting I have ever experienced. I don’t think I can even accurately explain what was going on in my head, but there was a lot of wildly swinging from “he probably just ran out of battery or can’t get WiFi” to “OMG HE’S DEFINITELY 100% DEAD AND I MIGHT AS WELL JUST JUMP OFF A BRIDGE NOW!” My brain was also giving me the horrible scenario of “maybe he just doesn’t really care all that much about you and decided not to contact you”. Great times. Great, tearful, wailing times, in the dark, all by myself!

I ended up posting in a travel group on Facebook I use frequently. I just wanted some kind words and reassurance, and I did get plenty. I also received some useful information/notions that I either didn’t know before, or hadn’t considered in my stressed-out state. They were:

1. Apparently WiFi in New York is terrible. Several said there aren’t really many free WiFi options available and they thought he probably hadn’t been able to contact me because of this.

2. There had been no reports of plane crashes or problems, so he was probably perfectly safe and alive. Several made a very valid point - if something had happened to a plane flying to New York, it would be all over the news in an instant.

3. Flights that long are tiring to the point he might have simply been too exhausted to make contact.

4. Being in charge of a group of kids, he might not have had the chance to grab his phone out of his pocket.

All of these ideas, as well as the many kind words and reassuring comments that people offered did help a little, but my brain was stuck so far into panic mode that it still wasn’t enough to calm me down and allow me to go back to sleep. I just needed contact. That was the only thing that could really help. And it wasn’t there.

A few hours later, time had moved forward while I had stayed still, and I received contact from S2′s mum, Diva, telling me not to worry, and this was just what S2 was like. But I knew differently! S2 was NEVER like that with me. There have been times when one or both of our phones have glitched out and contact has been lost, and I have spun off into a panic. S2 has learned that I need reassurance in these circumstances, so as soon as he realises something is wrong with the phones, he’ll get his mum to text me, or get on Facebook to message me instead. It stops me going crazy and assuming he suddenly hates me, which is a pretty common thing for me to do, unfortunately!

Anyway, so Diva’s comment didn’t really have the desired effect. In fact I started to question her mindset. Why wasn’t SHE worried that she hadn’t heard from him? Wasn’t that like a trademark thing for a mother to do? My mother worries about me if I go out in the next town and don’t contact her, so God only knows how she’d be if I jetted off to New York and didn’t touch base when I got there.

Another person we all used to work with ended up commenting too, and at first, her words were comforting. She echoed a lot of what was being said to me in the travel group. The problem was, other things were being said in the travel group that were triggering off other worrisome thoughts and giving me ideas, like, “you should contact the school/hotel to see if he has arrived”. I had tried Tweeting the school earlier, but unsurprisingly, no one was answering me at 4AM on the first Saturday of half term. So, the hotel... but what was it called? I don’t think S2 had ever told me the name of it, so I didn’t know what to look for. Thinking this was a great idea, I found one of Diva’s comments on my post and asked her if she new the name of the hotel. The first response came from the other person who’d commented and it shocked me. She all-caps shouted at me to “STOP IT” and basically told me off for even considering it, ordering me to just give up and get on with my life. Ummmm, well, I can’t really do that when I’m the most worried I’ve ever been, but OK!!! Then, even more to my surprise, Diva replied, ignoring my question, choosing instead to agree with the other woman. What?!?!?! His own MOTHER?!?! Refusing to help me, his loving girlfriend who she has always wholeheartedly approved of, find out if her OWN SON was still bloody alive?!?!?! I was stunned, mortified and livid all at once, and without even thinking, I snapped back, “So you won’t tell me?” deliberately omitting kisses for impact. As much as I felt well within my rights to question her mean decision, I immediately felt sick. The last person I needed to fall out with at this time, or any other, was my boyfriend’s mother. If she had taken an extreme dislike to me because of my snappy comment, my relationship with S2 faced a huge hurdle. He pretty much does anything his mum says, and most of our relationship takes place under her roof, so yeah, her hating me would kinda mess things up. Shit. I was halfway through composing a text to her, begging her to help me, but I didn’t want to make things even worse, and that’s when I fell into a pathetic crying mess. My mother was in the vicinity and heard me, so she came into my room. I was expecting her to be kind and comfort me, but instead she pretty much told me to man up and stop being stupid. Hurt and still deeply distressed, I told her to “fuck off”, which, again, made me think, “oh, shit”. She did immediately turn back to battle me, but I just cried and cried and wailed about how I needed her to be supportive, not to talk to me like I was pathetic. I don’t think she really got what I meant, but she refrained from continuing the argument and left. I cried solidly for hours after this, struggling to find comfort in anything anymore. Skittles had offered to meet up with me to cheer me up, and although I knew I’d enjoy seeing her, I couldn’t even comprehend being ready enough to leave me room. Plus, Diva was still ignoring me, so I was imagining all kinds of awkward and horrible scenarios that might occur between us. And through it all, I STILL hadn’t heard from S2.

Eventually, I was exhausted enough for a very patchy snooze, which killed about an hour, then I managed to drag myself into the shower, where I cried some more. By the time I was out, I was almost late for meeting Skittles. I hurriedly started trying to put my makeup on as the tears were still flowing. My mother was being kinder to me by this point too. I was so tired, my hands were shaking. And then, finally, it happened! AFTER 19 HOURS!!!!

S2 texted me instead of emailing, telling me that his data wasn’t working and that he was fine. The relief made me cry even more than the worry, and being so emotionally drained I could only manage to say that “I was so worried” and I was glad he was OK. He texted me a couple more times over the next hour or so while I was eating lunch with Skittles, and for a while I still couldn’t say anything apart from expressing how worried I had been. Diva had also texted me by this point, with kinder words, and I apologised for snapping at her.

I hung out with Skittles for the rest of the day, going back to her house to watch a movie. S2 continued to text me on and off, often with photos to accompany his words. I was better able to hold a conversation by this point, and even now as the evening is coming to an end here at home, I’m still in contact with him. I still don’t like the fact that he is so far away, that he will be there for days yet to come, and that there is likely to be a huge chunk of time I don’t hear from him when he is travelling home, but at least I know he’s not floating around in the sea, and his head isn’t mounted on Donald Trump’s trophy wall.

[coolseanobuseng]

New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/how-to-become-an-irresistible-woman/

The Shortcut to How to Become An Irresistible Woman

Everybody has sticking points. Whether it’s work, relationships or life in general. And it’s fine to want to learn the shortcut to how to become an irresistible woman to any man. But that’s fine and dandy because the learning process is what makes us better women.

Perhaps you’re struggling with certain behaviors or fears that might be keeping you from making the most out of your love life. Not to worry though; author Mirabelle Summers has created the ultimate game-free guide on how to do just THAT:

Get A Great Guy Guide

The “Get A Great Guy Guide” is the thing you need to achieve the breakthrough that you’ve been waiting for. With its sensible, no-nonsense and down-to-earth advice. For the sassy, modern girl, finding AND holding on to a quality man will be a cinch!

Now then – one of the most common stumbling blocks to more romance in a woman’s life is a simple lack of conversational know-now. The good news is that this can be LEARNED and immediately applied in your everyday life!

Especially while you’re face-to-face with a potential lover!

Oftentimes the problem is that some well-meaning girls overlook the importance of having the right communication style. It’s not that they WANT to be boring; they’re merely unaware of how to hold a conversation.

No sensible gal is going to get up in the morning and tell herself, “I wonder how I’m gonna BORE the socks off of that cute stranger I’m going run into at the coffee shop today?”

If you want to become a better conversationalist, it’s important to consider if you’ve grown accustomed to certain patterns of speech that are actually counterproductive. Sometimes, you need to step back and ask if you’ve fallen into certain habits which you’ve numbed yourself to over time.

So the first step towards any form of improvement is SELF-AWARENESS. Think about the way you normally carry a conversation with a guy and ask yourself if your style could use some polishing.

Of course, I don’t want you to start beating yourself up if you feel that the way you talk to men isn’t as attractive as you might want it to be. Like I said earlier, there’s always room for improvement, and it’s definitely a good thing to know EXACTLY which areas can be improved.

With that said, I want you to go over the following tip you can use to enhance your communication style :

The Shortcut to How to Become An Irresistible Woman

# 1: Rapport is Key

It may sound like the simplest thing in the world to say, but the fact is lots of perfectly adorable women have a hard time doing this. It’s mainly because they only have a VAGUE idea of what rapport is, so naturally you can’t create something you can’t really put a pin on!

So let’s clear up the fog surrounding this topic and identify what it is exactly. In a nutshell, having rapport is about having a CONNECTION with someone.

You know how you hook up your iPod or mobile phone to your computer, and they suddenly have this mutual understanding? It’s kind of like that, but on a DEEPER level.

Let me give you a clearer picture: if you were at a party packed with all manner of gorgeous, articulate and friendly men, which one of them are you likely to REALLY fall for?

Since they’re all visually and mentally appealing, you might have a hard time figuring out which guy suits you. Chances are the one who naturally understands you will be the man you’d want to date.

Why is that? Well, doesn’t it feel just GREAT when a person instinctively senses where you’re coming from?

I’m sure you’ve met at least one person in your life who you inexplicably feel drawn to. That’s because that person seems to perfectly understand and echo back your own opinions or feelings.

That sense of being connected is what rapport is all about. Fortunately, it’s actually not hard at all to do this in your daily conversations.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you need to be on the ‘same page’ as the person you’re talking to. There are easy ways to do this.

For example, keep an ear out for specific concepts or values that are personally close to the person you’re in a conversation with. If he brings up that it’s important to him to have some quiet time everyday, store that away for future reference.

Later on you can echo back that same concept by telling him about how YOU like to spend your alone time: ‘At the end of the day I like to spend an hour or so curling up with a good book and a nice warm cup of chamomile tea. It really helps decompress after a crazy day, you know what I mean?’

Step back and watch his eyes light up like a Christmas tree! By taking something close to his heart and giving it back to him in a genuine way, your words will make quite the IMPACT on him.

So, rapport really has to do a lot with speaking the same ‘language’. Now of course, I don’t mean you have to start mimicking everything he’s saying like a little parrot, but rather do it in an EMOTIONAL sense.

Discovering and talking about the values that resonate with you BOTH is a way to speak the same language. When you think about it, we often adapt our modes of speech depending on the context we’re in.

For example, you wouldn’t talk to your friends, family, colleagues, or elders in the same EXACT way would you?

So don’t think that you’re being a phony by making an effort to speak in the same way that he does. You’re simply getting into the practice of communicating in a way that’s APPROPRIATE to the situation.

And when it comes to chatting up gorgeous guys, a meeting of the minds is best done through rapport-building speech patterns!

# 2: Switch Off Your Brain

Don’t get me wrong, the kinds of guys who are worth your time are into women of SUBSTANCE. And certainly, this next conversational tip is not about acting air-headed or ditzy.

All I’m advising you do is keep your sexy brain from going into overdrive! A common mistake that intelligent women often commit is to think too much about certain things.

They get so caught up in their own world of thoughts that they’ll come off as aloof or distracted, when in reality they’re just petrified from FEAR of not knowing what to say next.

If you don’t want your brain from stalling on you, then you have to quiet your thoughts and shut out the nagging distractions in your pretty little noggin.

The attraction-killing thoughts I’m talking about are those coming from the inner critic trying to sabotage your conversation. Sometimes, we make the mistake of mentally scolding ourselves after saying something that felt out of place or unfunny.

Other times, we’re lost in a maze of thoughts on what to say next or get bogged down in a swamp of self-consciousness.

When you feel your brain going in this direction, acknowledge what’s going on and DROP these mental distractions.

There’s a handy little trick you can do in case your attention is drifting off to la-la land: instead of obsessing about how you look in his eyes or what he might be thinking, simply divert your attention to HIM.

It’s a girl’s best defense against looking aloof or detached from the conversation (or from this plane of reality for that matter!). So remember to shut off this part of your brain, and you’ll do just fine.

On another note however, sometimes it’s the guy you’re talking to that’s feeling self-conscious. If that’s the case, then don’t act or talk in any way that might give away you’re AWARE of it.

Just play it cool and don’t dwell on the vibe he’s giving off. It’ll only make things more awkward if you let his state affect your own.

# 3: Humor is Your Best Friend

Maybe you’re still feeling each other out. And you’re trying to get a handle on how to connect to this hunk of a guy. But the awkward flow of your conversation is creating a major interference in your connection. So you’re having a hard time ‘broadcasting’ your signal.

Fear not, friend! The quickest way to clear up all that ‘static’ is by creating a private joke. Which you can share with him. When you both have some knee-slapping ground to start on, this accelerates the rapport-building process.

My long-time friend Marcus has a great story to illustrate my point. He says:

“One of my first jobs was a freelance product writer for all sorts of health merchandise. During one assignment I was talking with this guy who was telling me about the benefits of a sports bracelet that supposedly reduces muscular fatigue. I had to put on the bracelet and pretended how less tense my arm felt as I was stretching it. Monique, his pretty sales assistant, was visibly chuckling at how funny I looked during the product demo’. Though she tried her best to hide it.

Marcus was then able to use this funny incident as an inside joke when he started chatting up Monqiue. To her delight, he referred to the silly arm-stretching debacle several times during their conversation.

To his benefit, Monique was game enough to tease him about it when they eventually started dating. The moral of the story here is that when used properly, humor serves as a great bridge between two people.

Heck, any doctor knows about the therapeutic effect of laughter. One way to bring on the charm is to put your man on a natural high. By cracking a joke or making a witty comment!

Making people laugh makes people (cute guys included) want to be around you to get a dose of your feel-good charisma.

Of course, there’s a big difference between laughing at a joke and MAKING one. However, appearing to be effortless at humor isn’t as hard as you might think.

Don’t assume you need to transform yourself into a standup comic at the drop of a hat.

Generally, a good punch line is the result of properly setting up the joke beforehand. If you need to explain the punch line after delivering it, it means you didn’t build enough suspense first.

(Think about how some characters on TV bumble a perfectly good joke by explaining too much and adding a “get it, get it?” at the end.)

A good way to build up a joke is by keeping a relatively straight face and suppressing any snickers before dropping the punch line on him. Otherwise there won’t be any escalation.

That’s what comedic timing is all about: buttering up the audience and then BAM, you get the drop on them with a well-placed punch line!

Notice how comedians like Conan O’Brien or Tina Fey churn out the funnies. They like to talk about a mundane news item (the set-up) and then making a zany comment about it (the payoff).

As an aside, avoid making any pop culture references that might alienate or confuse the person you’re talking to. It’s good to be mindful of the particular person in front of you so he can better relate to your “material”.

However, don’t worry about making leaps and bounds in this particular area of conversation. Try adapting these habits of humor little by little into your speech.

Once you hit your stride and finally struck a guy’s funny bone, you’ll notice how easier it is to keep him laughing with a follow-up joke!

One last way to be funny without overdoing it is by doing the “pretend seriousness” routine. A little lighthearted irony goes a long way with certain folks!

Let’s pretend that your friend introduced you to this incredibly cute guy who happens to be just into music as you are. So halfway through the conversation he confesses to not having heard about a certain band you absolutely adore.

Take advantage of this opportunity by *playfully* retorting, “Tell me you’re kidding. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to drag you to my place and make you listen to my (name of band) records until you see the light. Seriously!”

Admittedly, this approach might not work on everyone, but if he seems like the guy who’s game enough to go along with the fun, then give it a shot!

#4: Converse With an OPEN Ear

Some women might think that listening is just a simple matter of hearing what the other person is telling them. Truth is, this basic skill we’ve been taught to use over the years is often taken for granted.

Sometimes, we find ourselves zoning out a bit (refer to tip # 2) when we should PAY ATTENTION in the full sense of the verb. A typical mistake is to listen on a superficial level. And merely use the time the guy is talking to think of something to say.

This might sound like common sense, but I have this to share. You’d have a better chance of saying something worthwhile if you truly listened to what the other person just said.

I’ve told countless friends and colleagues that your genuine attention is a very powerful tool for conversational success! Really listening to his jokes and stories is a simple but effective way to make him feel good about himself.

And what red-blooded man wouldn’t want to be around a sassy girl that he can associate his GOOD FEELINGS with?

The gift of showing real interest is the direct path to greater rapport in ANY sort of conversation you’re in. Although our general interest here is to attract men through a good chat, we also have to consider the big picture here.

An attractive woman is someone who can have a great conversation with just about anybody. When you have a POSITIVE attitude towards the rest of humankind, it’s an indication of how you’d be on a date.

…or as a girlfriend.

If you’re there to talk with ANYONE purely for the pleasure of their company… and NOT because you want their approval… then that sincerity will naturally show.

People (hunks included) just tend you like more when you want to hang out with them with NO strings attached.

So what I’m saying here is that you shouldn’t just limit your awesome conversational skills to men alone. Find an opportunity to flex your social muscles and chat up a storm with the next person you run into!

It doesn’t matter if it’s the nice old lady at the library, the friendly cashier at your favorite coffee place, or your fellow students at yoga class. Every person out there offers a chance for you to become a more sociable person.

Trust me, this mindset is the sure-fire path to becoming drop-dead gorgeous in the long run! What have you got to lose after all?

And part of developing the right mindset is by expanding your knowledge and beliefs about dating. Courtesy of Meet Your Sweet’s “Get a Great Guy Guide.” The Shortcut to How to Become An Irresistible Woman

Get A Great Guy Guide

When you think about it, the cost of failure is pretty much ZERO, so get out there and work it!

—————————————————————————

This article comes to you courtesy of Expert Dating and Relationships Advice for Men and Women

If you are serious about changing your love life success. This is your first step on your journey of self discovery. And it needs to be with Meet Your Sweet’s “Get a Great Guy Guide.” The Shortcut to How to Become An Irresistible Woman

If you want genuine men, not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs. Yes, about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.

Get A Great Guy Guide

The Shortcut to How to Become An Irresistible Woman has No games. No scripted lines. Just Real life dating advice for real women! Click here to download this Free PDF with exact texts to send to him to make him yours. Just try them out to see the magic of the type of responses you’ll get from him.

[jongieslegs]

[Fan Account - Kim Sungkyu Mini Fanmeet and Live]

Sungkyu’s mini live event! Namba Hatch, Osaka, Japan,  4 Oct 2017 disclaimer: all comments here are as I understood with my lower level japanese and korean, so apologies for any mistranslations!!

Ticket and Fanclub event info Inspirit Japan members got priority ticket sales and a small discount, plus the chance to enter two events: 1. you could submit a video question, which was used in the show (more on this below) 2. ten people could win a meet and greet with Gyu before the show! Event tickets were all assigned seats, no standing. My seat was 1st floor, row G, but other fanclub members I know got row O and even 2nd floor, so it really was a lottery for seats.

Intro After the lights dimmed,  There was no video intro or speaker intro, Gyu just simply walked on stage and began to sing the opening song (Kontrol) Loved hearing and seeing him like this, with no dancers or distractions, just Gyu and a mic. He concentrates so wholly on his songs, he's half hugging the mic with his arm and it really looks if he has his eyes closed for most of them. He only looks up as if to realise we are there much later in the song. wow. How I love that voice. I think other ppl have listed and videoed all the mini-live songs, so I’ll give more detail on all the non-song moments!

After 3 songs the lights go up, and he says hello in Japanese, and the mc and interpreter come on stage and beckon him to sit down on a chair. He sits, and immediately chugs water from a bottle with a straw, and says how happy he is to come to Osaka, even though he feels nervous. The (female) interpreter sits behind him and translates what the mc says into korean, as well as what Gyu says into Japanese. great idea as Gyu doesnt have to worry about trying to speak Japanese and we can just hear his natural Korean. He’s a bit more nervous than I expected, and hesitates a lot at first when he talks, he’s a little shy - used to the other members bumbling around him I guess! But he’s super cute, especially when he laughs, which is a lot tonight. Fan questions The first stage event is 'Sunggyu please teach/tell me’, where four fans (via the fanclub) recorded a video message to ask Gyu. At first we didn’t shout loud enough when this segment was announced, so the mc made us do it again, and Gyu looked very amused by us being told off by the mc. The first q is a girl who wants to know if theres any food he doesn’t eat much, or can't eat. He’s really REALLY hesitant in answering, like saying 'um... I...' and pausing, then 'um...' like he really can’t think of an answer. Then finally he and the mc talk about beef and beef dishes a lot. I think he said he did not eat beef as a child, and these days it is expensive - but I got lost on other details. The second girl records herself playing 'back' on the piano and asks what song he’d like to sing to a girl? (on a date? to woo her? not sure) she’s on the 2nd floor so he strains forward off his chair to wave at her! Firstly he praises her piano playing, then he ends up singing the chorus of 'be mine' acapella to the mc (who is pretending to be the girl) he laughs midway his song, but even does the hand gesture on 'oh!' (YES!) The third fan is a nurse and recorded her video at the hospital- she wasn’t in the audience tonight. she said she’s learning korean and wants to know his favourite word or phrase. again he was really slow and hesitant to answer, but eventually talked about a word that means friendship/you use with close friends (??) and he mentioned using it with the infinite members in his answer. If I see a J-inspirit tweet about this one I’ll RT - the details were a bit hard for me to catch. The 4th girl asks, 'you are a superstar, but what do you do to relax on your days off?' His reaction was so funny, he began: 'because I'm a superstar...' and sat up and crossed his legs really flamboyantly haha I think he really liked that question. When relaxing at home, he says he watches game of thrones season 7, and also plays games. Then the mc suggested, doesn’t he think of Inspirit? and he quickly said 'oh yes, of course, number one is thinking of inspirit, then game of thrones, then ... '(but he was laughing, such a cute liar) Hoopla. He just can’t.  Sunggyu had to play hoopla (land a hoop on a stick with a number) to play a random game. oh boy. he was so bad at this game! first of all, the front row fans told him off for being too close to the number board, and he was like 'What!!' the MC too was really shocked they were so strict, lol. then he stepped back and threw, and literally missed every single time, so then he stepped really close and threw all of hoops in the box until finally he got one. his reward- 2x speed dance! at first he looked aghast, but then just laughed and put his ear mic in and was like 'ok. come on!!' he didn’t know which song it would be. it was be mine, and he did a great job-- and looked so cutely pleased with himself when he stopped, a satisfied grin of like ‘nailed it!’. back to the hoops. oh dear. he threw them all at close range and still, still!!!! couldn’t get one! he crouched down briefly in mental breakdown mode, but the mc just blatently slid one on for him lol. his reward-- the mystery box! the mystery box was a cute brown toy dog that walks and barks- you know the kind. omg he was so funny, he looked terrified as he put one hand in then yelled 'what!!!' 'what is it??' 'its moving!!' after a few attempts to touch it he couldn’t guess, so they let him do it again, this time with both hands. he jumped again as he touched it, and even sniffed his hand (???) but then seemed to hear it barking, moved his ear closer to the box. so then he guessed correctly, and laughed like crazy when the box was turned to face him. he said 'no way-- it felt different!' and then held it, said 'cute' petted it, then suddenly pretended to go to slap it, lol. a girl in the audience won the toy after he drew her seat number from a box.

the mc assisted him (basically put the hoop on the numbers as he was hopeless) to get another two rewards. The first was a group photo with us all. He turned away from us to face the camera, but remained standing, which would obviously block a huge part of the audience, lol. So the cameraman was like ‘hey! sit down!’ and he laughed, kinda embarrassed, and did so. 

The second reward was he could draw signed posters for 2 people, but he drew 3 winners instead, so 3 won, hehe. He read the winner’s numbers out in Japanese, and tried speaking a little Japanese to the winners, just the odd word, but he does try! Kyu is so funny to give gifts. (I've noticed this before, he keeps a real physical distance when he gives a prize, unlike L or Jjong who hug or pet fans' heads easily) as he handed people their prizes today, he really looks like the professor formally giving the graduation certificate, like very low bowing and holding out the poster then shaking their hand formally then bowing again. when people won from the 2nd floor, they took a bit longer to get there, so he extended a hand very gentleman-like and helped them up onto the stage - to ‘aaah!’ from inspirits, lol.

Photo time We were given three minutes to take pics, and like the Tokyo shows, he spent each minute at a different part of the stage, and smiled and posed and crouched down a few times for people’s cameras. The stage lights were sooo bright that even though my eyes could see him well, my ipad couldn’t - but other friends got some nice shots, I’m sure plenty will be going around!

A Gyu survey The last prize lottery of the day was for a survey we had to answer and put in a box before the show. the survey has questions all about Gyu. The mc told him noone got all the answers correct, and he was like 'ah, I’m a difficult guy--'

q1- is there a food you haven’t eaten this time in japan? a-ramen q2- on long flights what do you do? a- sleep. he uses an eye mask. (one of the options was talk to the infinite members- heh yeah right) q3-which animal do you think you are like? a-cat. everyone seemed surprised and Gyu was like 'what! why are you surprised? Am I not?' the mc made him do a Japanese cat noise and paw-like gesture (Cats in Japan say 'nyan’) he did it quickly and reluctantly lol. q4- what do you do first thing on a morning? a- drink water. he says he loves to drink water, and his throat always feels dry after sleep. the mc pointed out how nice/interesting his throat looks when he swallows so we got a closeup of him doing that, and he just laughed, like ‘doesn’t everyone look that way?’ q5- immediately after the first tokyo mini live, what did gyu do? a - thanked the staff. 

He drew three winners again for signed posters. one winner  from 2nd floor had put her name on the survey form as 'sunggyu-chan'. this really amused him and the mc. when she cane to the stage he said in formal japanese 'nice to meet you... sunggyu-chan?' lol. When the games were over, he talked a little about what he’s working on now - just everything he already said at the tokyo meets, a solo concert and album, musical, plus infinite comeback and album. He said he wants to be known as infinite’s leader but also the singer kim sung kyu. He’ll work hard for both things and wants to come to osaka again. To finish up, he sang the last two songs, including ‘Because’, (whoop love that older tune) then he waved to everyone, like very cute crazy big grin two-handed waves, before leaving the stage. Hi-touch time! We had to leave our seat with our stuff and line up to high five him on the way out of the venue. Staff were strict about having absolutely nothing in your right hand so you could hi-five him easily. A small screen hid him from view. When I got around it, he was standing behind a table, with staff close by either side. He had a cute small smile, looked kinda tired but also happy. The way Japanese hi-touches work there’s really no time to talk (or think-), so i just grinned and said 'Sunggyu fighting!' as i touched his right hand. Resisted the huge urge to grab it lol! 

No candy for us, unlike Myungsoo’s fanmeet, but that’s cool - hearing Sunggyu’s vocals and seeing his cute yet surprisingly shy self on stage was reward enough!

That’s all for this time-- thanks for reading as always!

[busybellshub]

Rev- A game about Foxes

https://faxdoc.itch.io/rev

Hello, welcome to my review REV.

REV is an atmospheric 2D strategy game about trying to survive as a fox in nature reclaimed ruins. When I first started the game up the first thing, I noticed was there wasn’t any music playing, just the peaceful sounds of birds chirping, the song of bugs, and the footsteps of animals. It reminded me a lot of summer. As I sat at the menu screen I tried to change it into full screen mode, if you’re playing on keyboard and mouse then you use the “W” and “S” key to move, I tried to select it with the usual confirm keys but found myself stumped. I pressed nearly every key on my keyboard trying to find which key was “The One”. I probably spent a lot longer on this part than most people, but eventually I learned that if you press the space bar that is the confirm button. I felt like a fool.

 Now that I figured the space bar was the key to use, I quickly started my game into the tutorial, I noticed that the game was a bit jittery looking but I know the developers released an update to resolve that, so that shouldn’t be an issue for future players. Anyway, you start off in these ruins and you’re 1st objective is to attack these training dolls, you hold space to sneak and charge up your attack. If you release while the gauge is full then you bound forward in the direction where your mouse is at. You can’t stand too close to the doll or else your gauge won’t budge.  After you complete that you forward to the next area and find yourself a Foxy friend, I called the fox my Foxy Wife, together you and your newfound companion learn how to hunt together.  There is a starter rabbit for you both to eat, you can control either fox with “Left Control”, which means you can do an ambush! Now hunting a moving target is a little more difficult. If you go into the solid green circle then you have been spotted by the rabbit and they will try to flee, you must stay with within the outer green circle in order to charge up your gauge. Luckily your fox friend isn’t spotted in the circle so they can get close. After you kill the rabbit you must pick it up and take it home. That’s where you start the real game.

 Now that I’m into the meat of the game, a new screen pops up and you have a point to spend on either:

·         Getting sharper fangs that deal about 50% more damage

·         Adding 1 fox to your party

·         The ability to charge up your attacks faster

·         Footprints appear faster

·         Reducing your prey’s detections radius

·         Being able to run faster.

I decided to go with sharper fangs. After that I choose to return to the game.

I see that me and my Foxy wife live in the remains of the tree that has been cut down. So, I leave my fox wife at home and I start making my way through the dead log. As you leave the log, a screen pops up and it tells you about footprints and what they do. Footprints are the way you can detect your prey and the darker the color the closer they are, the lighter they are the farther away. Interesting, on the downside you must sit and wait for the footprints to appear. Now since I didn’t pick the ability for footprints to, they take a few more second than usual to appear, that doesn’t really bother me except for the fact that you have a limited amount of time to find food for the day. Well I need only one so it can’t be that hard right? Well on my first day I had a hard time.

I sit and wait outside of my den and spot some dark red footprints almost immediately! Sweet, I start making my way towards this wooded area, as I pause every now and wait for the footprints to appear, I hear a light thumping nearby. That must mean there is prey! Excitedly I run up to where the prey is, and I see a rabbit minding its own business. I start stalking the prey and I jump when the gauge is full, I hit the rabbit but its not dead. It dashes off and I try to pursue it, but it was way faster than me, so now I’m back to hunting the prey. Even though I landed a hit and the rabbit bled a bit there was no other way telling where it may have possibly gone except for the footprints. Which is a bit of an inconvenience, because there are many footprints in the surrounding area. Since we were in a small little clearing area, I was only able to know in one direction the rabbit ran off in, every time I kept stopping to see the footprints it took a lot longer to find the rabbit. But I didn’t mind so much because I was able to learn many routes, saw more and more of the aesthetics in the game, which I believe is the highpoint in this game, it is very calming and soothes your frustrations of not finding your prey. Anyway, I went in various directions with no luck, I wasted many seconds searching and then finally I heard the familiar sound of thumping. I made my way towards the sound stopping every so often to be sure I was headed into the right direction; I find my little rabbit near this beautiful water, its go time! I once again charge up my attack only for the rabbit to hop a little to close and spot me. It runs off and I chase it, up the stair and I get stuck on the zig zag and once again lose it. Back to hunting, by this time the timer is around 130 seconds, I start panicking. I once again find my prey after many seconds of searching, I start stalking and I inch closer to it and when the bar is full, I pounce and take it down! Celebration ensues, but way to early. I have less than a minute to grab the prey and put my butt in gear! I grab it and I start booking it towards the den and anxiously glance to the clock, 30 seconds, the sun is setting, and I get stuck on some stairs because I’m a fool. I’m right outside of the dead log and the time is up! Rage ensues and I must take a breather.

After I recoup, I restart the game and begin the 1st day once more, I take my foxy wife with me and she ultimately is going to be the one to finish off any prey, while I bumble about like a drunk toddler. As the days progress, I begin to get better at the hunting mechanic, and I upgrade myself to be proficient in the game to do hunt alone. Fox Wife and I also have a child called Fox Daughter. Another thing that made this game more fun is the addition of more prey animals! Like a herd of deer, a bison and her calf. On the day the herd of deer arrived, I took my fox wife and daughter out for a hunt and see this group chilling near my den. Awesome I love delivery! So, we go to town and get all six-food needed for that day. Probably the easiest day in the game! It is then followed by the hardest day. On that day there is a mother bison and her calf walking around our den, I take the girls and we start the hunt. Almost immediately we are spotted by momma, and she is pissed that we dare gaze upon her child and her. She goes on the offense and start giving us a thorough walloping! I runaway while she mainly attacks my wife, sorry honey. I run back and I start hunting the calf, I kill it and drag its body back to the den to hurry and end the day before my wife and child are murdered. Next day there I look for my wife and child and see that they made it through! Relief fills me because I know I suck at hunting alone. I also see that today’s prey is the mother bison now childless, I’m definitely not doing this alone, we start making our way towards the bison. We got one the offense and I start the attack; I was not expecting this bison to sonic run away from us! When I witnessed this bison run at the speed of light, I had to take a few seconds to laugh! It ran so far it took me some time to find her, eventually we find her and attack her, it is definitely taking time since she is a tank. We are slowly taking more and more of her health down and eventually she dies.

That is where I have stopped playing for the moment. I can see myself playing this game at a later date when it is a bit more polished. At first, I wasn’t too fond of the game but at time went on I began to enjoy myself and the experiencing the game offers. The game is very cute, and I find myself wanting to play more, the aesthetics are well crafted and simple at the same time, the area in which you are set is mysterious and gives me the feeling of wanting to explore. The animations of every creature in this game is very smooth and seamlessly intertwined, the sound that also go with them are well created, the thumping of rabbits the buzzing of insect and bird singing, slight rustling of grass being stepped on. The progression of the difficulty in the game is varied from having to gather just one food up to six food, while throwing some interesting challenges your way.

The only faults I find within this game is when I strike an animal and they bleed only in one spot and don’t leave trail to follow making it more difficult to find them on the map, I also think there can be too many footprints on the screen that are all dark or light, which makes it confusing to follow prey you’ve already attacked. Another issue I had, but also decided that it wasn’t too terrible, is when you’re hunting is if you forget where your mouse is then you can startle the prey or just outright miss entirely.

I appreciate the time you took to read this review! I hope you check this game out for yourself and leave the creators constructive advice on what they can do to improve this game. If you want to read more game reviews or see when I’m streaming the next indie games review please follow me on https://twitter.com/BellBusy , https://www.tumblr.com/blog/busybellshub , or https://www.twitch.tv/busybell .

You can also follow the development of this game https://twitter.com/Faxdocc

[harry-ruinsme-blog]

Late

Hi my loves! Currently working on highschool!Harry and daddy!Harry requests, but here’s a little something to tide you over until they are finished. Hope you guys are all well and as always, my ask is open. Love each other a little harder today. xoxo-S

You still didn’t know how you had ended up here, but waking up in the bed of Harry Styles had become a regular occurrence over the past few months. You had met by chance through some mutual friends and suddenly you were answering his texts and letting him cook you dinner on the weekends he was in the area and spending more time between the sheets with him than you’d like to admit.

So as you watched Harry slowly putter around his room, getting ready for his day in front of camera’s, you reflected on how he had pushed his way into your life and made a nice spot for himself. A spot that you were beginning to fear losing because you knew that if it were to become empty, it would not fill in so easy again.

“What’re you lookin’ at, cheeky girl?” Harry hummed, doing up the button on a pair of black jeans that you were almost positive he had worn for the past three days.

“Preparing myself to get out of this insanely comfortable bed and get on with my day,” you sighed, throwing the duvet off and letting your feet hang over the edge.

“You seemed a bit zoned out there,” he called, heading into his closet. You hugged the shirt you’d worn to bed closer as you traipsed in after him, interested to see which obnoxiously printed shirt he was going for today. His stylist had left him five options to choose from and he stood in front of them, finger pulling at his lip as he tried to decide.

“What do you have going on today?” you asked, sidling up beside him and letting out a yawn. His right hand left his lip to scratch his nails gently up and down your back.

“Just a few meetings fo’ the album,” he hummed, pulling on the fabric of a bright yellow patterned shirt with his left hand.

“I like this one,” you decided, holding out a bright blue shirt with a subtle flower print. The silk was smooth against your fingers as you played with the sleeve and you didn’t dare look at the label to see which fashion house Harry would be representing today.

“Then this one it is,” Harry decided, plucking it from your grasp with a quick peck to your mouth. You shoved him away quickly, mindful of your morning breath, and he laughed as he slinked out of his closet.

As he continued to putter around the room with his shirt unbuttoned, humming a tune foreign to you, you made your way into the bathroom so you could leave when he did. You don’t remember when it had happened, but seeing your toothbrush set next to his and your products on your side of the his and hers sinks had become normal.

“Why don’t you jus’ leave it? You’re here ‘nough,” he had rambled one morning as you scrambled to pack up your overnight bag.

And so you had started leaving little things here and there, just enough that you could stay and get ready in the morning without looking like the quintessential walk of shame.

“Babe can you grab the hair stuff Lou gave me a few weeks ago?” he called, “Think I stuffed it under the sink.”

With a toothbrush hanging out of your mouth you bent down to rummage through the cabinets, rolling your eyes at how nothing was organized. It was a mish mash of products Harry had bought or been given that he had never used or only opened once. He could probably have started his own hair salon with the amount of pomade and gels in his possession.

“The Bumble?” you asked, mouth full of toothpaste, pulling out a bottle closer to the front. You knocked over two random bottles of shampoo from brands you had never heard of as well as a box of tampons you had stashed there should mother nature decide to bless you while you were with Harry.

As you bent down to put the wayward items back in, you stalled, box of tampons in your hand and toothpaste dripping from the corner of your mouth. On your knees in front of the sinks you began counting backwards in your head, ticking off your fingers and rechecking to make sure you had the date right.

“‘Arry,” you mumbled around a mouth of toothpaste, “Wha’ day is i’?”

“Wednesday,” he intoned back.

You stood up and hurriedly spit out your mouthful of foam, “No I mean the date.”

“Oh, uh,” he hummed, presumably opening his phone, “The fourteenth. Why?”

“I thought I had an assignment do,” you called, lying through your teeth as you quickly shoved the offending box back under the sink and slammed the door shut. You hunched over the sink, closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths, suddenly feeling very lightheaded.

A warm hand on your back brought you back to reality, Harry now stood next you with brows furrowed in worry, “S’matter, love? You poorly?”

You slowly shook your head and forced a smile, turning and pressing a quick kiss to his jaw, “No just stressed about school and work, the usual.” He accepted your answer and let you scoot by him to get dressed as he fixed his hair.

You were distracted the rest of the morning, barely remembering to give Harry a kiss goodbye before you flew out the door for class. Your mind was busy worrying all morning through your lectures and it got worse as the day wore on. So bad that your boss let you leave an hour early because she was worried you were coming down with the flu. Before you could even consider going home you made a beeline for the closest pharmacy, glancing nervously over your shoulder for anyone who might recognize you. You had evaded the public eye for the most part with Harry, but you both had mutual friends in the area and the last thing you needed was to run into someone.

With a sympathetic smile from the female pharmacist you were scrambling out and back to the safety of your apartment with the bag of tests tucked securely in your purse. The door to your one room flat slammed loudly behind you as you tore off your jacket and shoes, making a beeline for the bathroom. It’d been awhile since you’d felt the need to take one of these and even before it was mostly because you were paranoid than anything. Your hands were shaking with the thought that this could be real. 

Within minutes your bladder was empty and three different brands of tests were carefully laid out on paper towels on your bathroom vanity. You set the timer on your phone and then went into full panic mode.

Just this morning you had been thinking of how much you liked having Harry in your life and now there was a possibility that all of that was going to change. He was an amazing person, thoughtful and sweet to his core, but this was not something either of you had planned for or even discussed and to be honest, you weren’t sure if you would be able to go through with it all. You had years of school left ahead of you and many plans that did not include a baby to look after.

“Holy fuck,” you whimpered, glancing at your phone to see you still had five minutes left as well as a days worth of missed texts and calls from friends and family. You thumbed through the call list, deciding that calling your mum back in this state would only warrant questions you didn’t want to answer. The last thread you checked was between you and Harry, him giving you updates on his day, asking about yours and checking to see what you wanted to do for dinner. You sent him a text that you’d gotten out of work early and headed back to yours before setting your phone down and waiting for the timer in silence.

You almost smashed your phone on the floor when the timer finally sounded, scrambling to shut it off and look at the results. Each one read the same and you sank to the floor in tears, relief coursing through your body. You picked yourself up for a second check before swiping them off the counter and right into the bin out of your sight.

You figured that you owed yourself a relaxing afternoon and evening, sprawled out on the couch and waiting for Harry to bring home whatever takeout he was craving today. You hoped it was something a bit greasy; you felt the need to treat yourself after the stress you had been under all day.

Just as your stomach was starting to feel like it was eating itself Harry let himself into your apartment in his typical ungraceful style; accidentally slamming the door into the wall as he juggled his keys, the take out and a bag from the local grocery on the corner.

“‘Lo love!” he called, his upbeat mood bringing a smile to your face. A happy Harry was exactly what you needed to end your day.

“Hiya,” you answered back, untangling yourself from the blankets on the couch to see what he had brought home. He stood at your small kitchen counter with his back to you as he unpacked chinese cartons from a large paper bag.

“You are the best, did you know that?” You sighed, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind and giving his shoulder a quick kiss.

“I think I do alrigh’,” he hummed, lifting his arm to bring you around to his side where he could give you a proper greeting. You smiled against his mouth and shut your eyes, leaning yourself into him and relishing in the calm that came over you when he was around.

“You seem much more relaxed,” he noticed, pulling down two plates from your cupboard as you began to open the containers to see what he had gotten. You nodded absentmindedly and sucked some duck sauce off your finger as you dished out portions onto the plates.

“D’ya want some wine with dinner?” You asked, already moving for the fridge.

“Yeah, be right back, I’ve had to pee since I left the offices an hour ago!” You laughed to yourself as you heard his boots scurry down the hallway. The apartment was quiet otherwise, just the hum of the TV in the background as you poured a glass of white for both yourself and Harry and grabbed whatever else you would need to veg out in front of the TV.

You swung around with both plates in hand and jumped, not having heard Harry come back into the kitchen. He stood in the entryway between the living room and where you were with his eyebrows drawn in and one of the packages you had carelessly disposed of in his hands. You felt the blood drain from your face and all the zen you had instilled over the past hour be replaced by fear and stress. You quickly moved to set the plates back on the counter and ran your sweaty palms down the front of your leggings as you faced Harry again. He was looking at you now, one eyebrow cocked in question.

“Go’ somethin’ t’tell me?” he asked, the cheerfulness he exuded just five minutes ago now long gone. He held out the box to you, which you carefully took and placed on the counter behind you next to the plates.

“No, actually,” you grimaced, cracking your knuckles nervously in front of you. It was a tell tale sign you were nervous, one that Harry usually playfully scolded you for. But there was no teasing in his eyes, he didn’t even flinch at the sound, his gaze imploring you to explain.

“I realized this morning I was late so I-I went and got a test at the pharmacy, but they were all negative,” you rushed out, taking a hesitant step closer to Harry, “Nothing to worry about.”

He scoffed at you, “Nothing t’ worry ‘bout? If it was nothin’ t’worry ‘bout you wouldn’t have bough’ the bloody test!”

You flinched as his voice rose, reaching out a hand to place calmly on his shoulder. He looked at it but didn’t make a move to push you off, so you took a half step closer, “Harry it’s not a big deal because it was nothing.”

“Were you gonna say somethin’?” he asked, his voice deadly low.

“No,” you answered honestly. He shut his eyes and sighed, your hand jostled off his shoulder as his came up to rub at his eyes. You’d both had long days and he was already under too much pressure as it was, he didn’t need to come home to this.

“Harry I would have told you if I needed to, but it was a false alarm, I just wanted to be sure,” you tried in your calmest voice. In the short time you two had been together you hadn’t really fought, maybe a quip here and there, but you were worried that it was all about to change.

“You should’ve tol’ me,” he finally sighed, hands on his hips as he looked at you, “I bet you worried yourself sick all day, alone.”

“You don’t need the extra stress Ha-,” he cut you off before you could even finish the sentence.

“Oh come off it!” He gestured between you two with his hands, “Whatever this is between us, we’re both equals. You don’t ge’ t’decide what I’m privy too if it involves us both.”

“What good would that have done Harry? Hm?” You had tried to stay calm but the stress of the day had thinned your patience and you were starving. “You would have worried all day about nothing; you wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. I was scared and wanted an answer before I worried you as well.”

He seemed to deflate at that, letting his head fall forward on his neck and scratched at the back of his hair, “Okay, I see where you’re coming from,” he finally conceded, “But I don’ want you to worry alone, it’s not healthy. You can come t’me with anything. You know that righ’?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “We’ve never talked about this before and we’ve only been seeing each other for a few months, Harry. It’s just scary.”

“Love, I don’ think we’ve spent a nigh’ apart since I came home a month ago and I’m pretty well acquainted with all parts of your body,” you rolled your eyes at that, fighting a smile, “You don’ have to hide from me. We’ve got a good thing going ‘ere, I’m in it w’ya.”

You gave a silent nod in affirmation, effectively ending the spat just as quickly as it had started.

And just like that, all the stress evaporated off of your shoulders again. Harry smiled softly when he saw your shoulders un-tense and your arms fall from their position crossed over your chest. He took a step towards you, pulling you softly into his chest where you buried your face and let your eyes close for a moment.

“We should talk abou’ wha’ we’d do, should’ve done tha’ awhile ago,” he whispered into your hair, hands running slowly up and down your back. You propped your chin up on his chest to look at his face, accepting the soft kiss he gave you.

“After we eat,” you sighed, breaking away from Harry to pick up your now cold Chinese food, “I’m so hungry I could eat everything in my fridge right now.”

“Well at leas’ you’re not eating fo’ two!” Harry joked, knocking your hip with his. Your jaw dropped as you watched him giggle to himself, happy he had gotten a reaction out of you.

“Fuck you, Styles,” you growled, heading to the couch. His laughter escalated, following you into the living room as you settled yourself on the couch.

“Too soon?” he asked, plopping himself down next to you and giving you a cheeky grin.

You just rolled your eyes as he giggled again, “Way too soon.”

[ahiddenpath]

Could you do Koushiro x Eimi and Takeru x Hikari?

Oh man!  I accidentally read this as “Eimi and Takeru” and nearly had a panic attack, because oh my god.  Hahahaha, lord!  Thanks for the ask, more below the cut XD

Koushiro x Eimi

How did they they meet?

In the terms of Growing Up with You, which is the closest thing I have to a canon story, their fathers are coworkers and their mothers are friends.  They’ve always spent time together while their moms hung out.

In a more canon world where Koushiro finds a partner outside of the Chosen between 02 and the epilogue, I’d say they met in college or at work.

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Eimi

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

Kae (Kou’s Mama), Mimi

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

GUWY:  It’s this whole big thing where Tentomon makes Eimi promise to kiss Koushiro when they’re older because he’s afraid of Koushiro being lonely/unable to initiate romance.  They kiss on the Daikanransha because I am garbage.  It’s awkward.

“Canon”:  They’ve been in this weird not-dating-but-the-relationship-feels-different-from-their-other-ones-and-friends-are-asking-questions place for a while.  Eimi puzzles Koushiro with a question or data from her research, and he makes that ‘deeply thinking’ face, and it’s super cute and then she’s kissing him and oh.  

Who confessed their feelings first?

GUWY:  Eimi has been (platonically) proclaiming love for Koushiro since they were toddlers.  This makes things very confusing for Koushiro when they’re teens and he’s interested in her romantically.

“Canon”:  Eimi

What was their first official date?

GUWY:  Theme park

“Canon”:  A science museum, dinner out, coffee/dessert/music and conversation at Eimi’s apartment

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

I think they both enjoy outings with friends, whether the friends are a couple or not.  But uh, emphasizing the date aspect might embarrass them? 

What do they do in their down time?

In private, they spend a lot of time physically close to each other but engaged in separate pursuits.  There’s also a lot of intellectual discussion and banter.

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

GUWY:  Complete and utter disaster, although the dinner didn’t start as a couple introduction at all.

“Canon”:  It doesn’t happen; Eimi has limited contact with her family.  She is, however, formally introduced to the Izumis on her own.  She is so nervous and eager to please and be liked that Kae and Masami fall for her, despite her bumbling.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

GUWY:  Disagreement over whether Ken should be allowed into the Chosen, on top of a bunch of existing tension.  After avoiding the issue until it reaches a fever pitch, they talk it out.

“Canon”:  Eimi tries to be accommodating of Koushiro’s focus on work/learning/research, but she can’t help feeling neglected.  Koushiro eventually realizes that she’s withdrawing from him.  He panics and talks to her.  They put a lot of effort into communication going forward.  

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Eimi has poor self-confidence, and it sometimes manifests as jealousy and doubt.  I’d say she is more commonly jealous, but it’s rarely serious.  However, in the unlikely event that jealousy manages to sneak past Koushiro’s reasonable nature, it probably digs in deep.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

…They like to go to Kae’s and be fed, lol XD  Eimi is a strong cook, and Koushiro loves being fed by her.  Actually I’d say that Koushiro loves to be taken care of after being doted on by his mom and Eimi…  At least he’s properly grateful, lol XD

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

Eimi, lol!  They aren’t physically affectionate in public.  However, they enjoy physical presence and tend to walk and sit close to each other.

At home/in private, Koushiro is more open to touch.  They cuddle in bed before falling asleep.  

Are they hand holders?

GUWY:  Yes, if reasonably assured that no one can see.

“Canon”:  They don’t hold hands often, but there are lots of little touches in private; Eimi touching his hair when she walks by and he’s seated, Koushiro brushing her shoulder or wrist.  

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? 

GUWY:  There’s this whole thing where Koushiro wants to wait until they’re independent to have sex (there’s a lot of backstory), so I guess they’re together for 3-5 years beforehand?

“Canon”:  It takes a while.  They’re both inexperienced and hesitant to share themselves that way (not to mention that they’re awkward, lol!).  

What’s the circumstances?

GUWY:  They have sex when they move into their college apartment.  

“Canon”:  Eimi is the more comfortable and natural of the two regarding sex, and Koushiro is driven by curiosity and eagerness to experiment as much as desire and affection.  It’s intimidating and awkward at first, but they take a blind survey to find out what they both want to try and go from there, starting with whatever seems easiest.  Once they get going, things progress nicely.  

Who tops?

Again, I’m not sure what this means?  If it’s “who is more dominant in bed,” I’d say Koushiro most of the time.  If it’s literally “who penetrates whom”…  

Actually I’m sure he’d at least try it, for curiosity’s sake.

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

Wait is this supposed be fight?  

I can imagine that Koushiro forgot about an event- some kind of recital or life event- and Eimi was heartbroken and withdrew and cried.  Koushiro gushes apologies, but they don’t change that he wasn’t there.

Alternatively, if they have kids, maybe Eimi snaps one day because Koushiro isn’t present enough as a father.  

It’s something like that, and the only way for him to atone is to change his habits regarding being available to his family.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Eimi, all of it.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Eimi.  When he isn’t in crunch mode, Koushiro cleans up after himself, but he isn’t good about caring for the apartment in general.

Who proposes?

Koushiro.  At first, he is calm about it; it’s merely the next logical step in a strong partnership.  But when the moment of asking arrives, the emotions hit, and he’s a mess!

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

They don’t want anything like that, but of course Taichi grabs Kou and Mimi grabs Eimi and the rest is history that no one remembers.  The parties are separate, but the general feeling is similar: booze, laughter, teasing, probably horrible advice from people who are already married, maybe lingerie and sex toys from Mimi.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

It’s a very weird wedding, especially since both Koushiro and Eimi pick Taichi as their… whatever.  I’m not sure if Koushiro would pick Jyou to stand for him or Eimi would pick Hikari, or if they would just go “ehhhh” and not bother with best whatevers.

Big Ceremony or Small?

Eimi wants to elope, but Koushiro doesn’t want to marry without his parents in attendance.  They compromise with a small, intimate, no-fuss event.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  

Somewhere private, calm, and remote.  Maybe something like Bora Bora?

Do they have children? How many?

Well they would at least have one girl, I’m assuming, but no details for now XD

[funface2]

25 Funny Memes About Being Single & Relatable Single Quotes For National Singles Day On September 22 – YourTango

Happy National Singles Day on September 22!

National Singles Day is September 22, and it’s time to celebrate — and laugh it off.

Considering single people have to endure going to countless weddings and engagement parties, it’s only fitting that we should at least get a day too. After all, being single can be something to celebrate as well — contrary to what our inquiring friends and relatives would like us to believe.

That doesn’t mean being single is necessarily easy.

RELATED: You’re Too Controlling (And 2 Other Reasons You’re Still Single)

The good news though is that the stigma of being single is not nearly as bad as it used to be. Thanks to shows like Sex and the City, single people — especially single women — can still feel powerful and complete, regardless of relationship status.

Let’s be honest, companionship is nice too. Just because you are totally comfortable being on your own, doesn’t mean you’re immune to the desire to fall in love either. We all want love, even the most cynical of us.

Like most things, even dating for single people has transitioned into the digital age. Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are more popular than ever. That doesn’t mean they’re for everyone.

Even though single people may feel left out in many ways, there’s also a lot of great perks to being single! If you’re a single man or woman, you have the freedom to live by your own rules. You are able to take time to learn about yourself.

What are your hopes and dreams? What do you want to accomplish?

So, here’s to all you single and fabulous people out there. Get yourself a cosmo cocktail and celebrate National Singles Day this September 22 with these funny memes about being single and being single quotes you can totally relate to.

1. Good point.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Getting in to a relationship may seem like a good idea, but so was getting on the Titanic, and look what happened there.” — Unknown

2. Selina Kyle vibes.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Me in the future: ‘Honey, I’m home! Oh I forgot, I’m not married.”

3. Pretty much.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Everyone’s falling in love and I’m just like…”

4. How does Queen Bey do it?

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Beyonce has been ‘Crazy In Love’ and “Dangerously In Love’ and ‘Drunk In Love’ and I can’t even find a guy I like.”

5. Accurate.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When a girl replies, ‘Awww thanks,’ it means she’s politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from.”

RELATED: 7 Unfortunate Traits Of People Who Will Be Single Forever

6. Must be.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“They say you find love in every corner — my life must be a circle.”

7. Sounds about right.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Me: For Christmas I want a unicorn. Santa: Be realistic. Me: Okay, I want a boyfriend. Santa: What color do you want your unicorn?”

8. Probably.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Honestly, I’m probably single because I never forwarded those chain messages in 2008.”

9. Haha.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When your family asks about your love life: ‘I’m gonna die alone. And merry Christmas!'”

10. Depends how you look at it.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Not sure if doing something wrong or just really good at being single.”

RELATED: 12 Brutal Truths About Loving Someone Who’s Been Single FOREVER

11. Dory mode.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“From now on I’m a strong, independent, single woman and I focus on myself only. Oh look, a guy!”

12. It’s not for everyone.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When your aunts corner you for a reason why you’re still single: ‘I’m not interested in caring about people.'”

13. Yep.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“All my friends on Facebook. Me.”

14. The Valentine’s Day struggle.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“How I plan on spending Valentine’s Day.”

15. I mean, is there really any comparison?

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Yeah, dating is cool, but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?”

RELATED: 7 Biggest Benefits Of Staying Single Forever

16. Not so good when you look at the numbers.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000+ people, and I’m still single.”

17. Still waiting.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Relationship status: 0 Single, 0 In a relationship, 0 Married, 0 Engaged, 0 Divorced, X Waiting for a miracle.”

18. Here I am!

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When you crush complains about being single: ‘I volunteer!'”

19. Blue? Red?

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“All my friends are married or in relationships but I still be on the phone with boys like ‘So what’s your favorite color?'”

20. Who knows?

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When people ask me why am I single?”

RELATED: If You Keep Dating THESE Types Of Guys, You’ll Be Single FOREVER

21. So true.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“My family waiting for me to get married…”

22. Love insurance.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Just saved tons of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single.”

23. Yeah, that’s the reason.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“When someone asks me why I’m still single… I guess I’m overqualified.”

24. Just being honest.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“Being an independent woman is cool until about 10PM.”

25. At the end of the day, never settle for less than what you deserve.

<noscript class="adaptive-image" data-adaptive-image-breakpoints="991 414" data-adaptive-image-414-img="” data-adaptive-image-991-img=”” data-adaptive-image-max-img=”“>

“I’m single. You’ll have to be freaking amazing to change that.”

RELATED: 5 REALLY Good (& Totally Logical) Reasons You’re Single AGAIN

Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, entertainment news and relationship topics. ​

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

Bài viết 25 Funny Memes About Being Single & Relatable Single Quotes For National Singles Day On September 22 – YourTango đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/funny-memes/25-funny-memes-about-being-single-relatable-single-quotes-for-national-singles-day-on-september-22-yourtango/