#Bruce: why :(

[hauntingrabbits]

comic

[batsandbirdsandothers]

Inspired by this post - Jason and Duke having glowy eyes and freaking Bruce out

Bruce: Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. I thought I was gonna shit my pants.

Dick: But they’re so adorable, aren’t they?

Bruce: Unfortunately yes.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[frownyalfred]

using “Agent A” as Alfred’s code name and using “B” for Batman’s shortened name in the field suggests there’s a world where “Agent A” is shortened to “A” and everyone in Gotham and on the Watchtower is terrified of him. because they’ve met B. and if this is B??

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

[sidewalk-cracks]

Bruce, visibly overwhelmed by Emotions as he watches a ten-year-old Dick goofing around in the batcave: Alfred. Alfred I think I'd die if something happened to him

Alfred: *carefully doesn't say that he thought the same thing when Martha and Thomas placed a newborn Bruce in his arms for the first time because he knows that'll completely destroy the little emotional bandwidth Bruce has*

[singswan-springswan]

In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of

[doublydaring]

Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run

[haveihitanerve]

Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Spoiler, Batgirl, all hug their teams after missions, check in, make sure they’re fine, because its what Bruce would do, what Batman did, after a rough patrol, or a difficult mission, he’d crush them close, ensure their safety, check in afterwards because maybe the mission was a little harsher and more trying so Bruce was a little more bitchy and he just wants to check in, make sure they’re good, make sure his kids are okay, that they’re safe, and the League sees this happen and is like “where did crime lord Red Hood learn this?” to just hug his teammates after battle? Weird. And then they all are like- “wait batman doesn't hug yall after battle?” And the League is like “wtf no????” and yeah…

I just want the kids to be the tadest bit oblivious to the fact that their Batman is also their Dad and is not the League’s Batman.

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave

[emperor-neo]

I sometimes wonder if Two-Face ever drops his coins when flipping it, sure he isn’t infallible especially with a effed up left side face. I bet when it does the batfamily helps him and treats him with patience after all that’s their father’s former bestfriend

Two-Face: Nightwing, your fate shall be decided by my coi— ah shit I dropped it.

Red Hood: for fucks sake, get on with it already!

Tied up Nightwing: …

Robin: it rolled over there *points at the couch*

Two-Face: *bending down and struggling to reach underneath the couch*

Red Robin: here let me help you harvey

Robin: here I found it *gives a cent*

Two-Face: No! That’s just a regular cent mine was customized I had to pay hundreds of dollars for it to have skulls and—

Red Robin: wait is it one of those coins from youtube that has like cool art that has secrets you can do like press small buttons and open up a compartment?

Spoiler: that’s awesome, does yours do that? then I’ll help look for it

Two-Face: No—

Red Hood: you got scammed dude

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

closest bruce comes to destroying the “brucie” persona is when he gets interviewed by a child and Cannot for the life of him Lie

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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