#Bruce: WHAT DASTARDLY PLAN IS THIS
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distort-opia · 5 months ago
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I would like to ask you, what would Batman's reaction be if he saw the Joker doing a good deed "in secret"? For example, saving a kitten from a tree or talking to lonely elderly people.
(Almost impossible for this to happen, But I'd like to imagine Bruce's reaction.)
Well... knowing Bruce, he'd just assume there's some other scheme at play. He'd think Joker is doing this because of a plan, because he wants to manipulate someone, because he's got something in the works, etc. It'd take a lot for Bruce to genuinely see something Joker did as good, or unselfish.
So yeah, I think Bruce's most realistic reaction would be "WHAT IS HE UP TO NOW??", which to be fair would be quite funny if Joker just did something nice out of sheer boredom one time.
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shinynewwriting · 1 month ago
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The nature of being a comics fan is that sometimes you find out there's an issue that caters to all of your interests at once, but you've never heard of it because it was only sold with certain boxes of Cheerios in 2014. Such is the case with General Mills Presents: Justice League #9, featuring the Joker and Superman swapping bodies. (Bless @distort-opia for knowing exactly which cereal-sponsored comic this was)
We open with the news that Superman has gone mad and is defacing Mt. Rushmore! (Honestly, good for him) There's not much time to process this, though, because the Daily Planet has an unwanted visitor who needs to speak with Lois:
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They flee to the roof, where the dastardly Harlequin of Hate promptly...empties out his poison guns and visibly has a small breakdown?
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No one else can do puppy-dog eyes like Kal-El of Krypton. Clark manages to convince Lois that he's in the Joker's body by recounting their recent, ridiculously cute dates. They are dramatically interrupted, however, by none other than Lex Luthor.
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HAHAHAHA I love his silly little rocket boots so much. Look at them! Anyway, Lex's security detains "the Joker", and things are not looking great for Clark.
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I'm low-key fascinated by the fact that Clark's about to spill the beans to Lex. Is it because he thinks that whatever Lex will do to him is probably still not as lethal as what Lex would do to the Joker for threatening Lois? Is it because he thinks Lex will probably let him use the Body-Swap 9000 stashed in a lab somewhere if he just begs nicely enough? I love their weird situationship so much. It's all moot, though, because someone else also woke up feeling not quite themselves this morning:
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(Vital to note that Bruce has been letting Clark squirm for several minutes thinking he's been captured, because he's a dick <3) So how did this all happen?
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Ah, the Weird Kryptonian Artifact trope. Smallville was also a big fan. Notice how Lex and Clark are fighting with laser eyes and energy shields, while the Joker is just full-body tackling Batman because he's shameless. Anyway, the artifact activated and Silliness ensued.
Oh shit, wait, where's our favorite mad scientist during all of this?
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HAHAHAHAHA, I would pay real money to see that sequence of events. "Alfred, it happened again. Go upstairs and tase me."
"With pleasure, Master Bruce."
Meanwhile, Lex wakes up reeking of another dude's cologne, blindfolded, and tied to a chair. It's a normal enough morning after for him, is what I'm saying.
Clark realizes he finally gets to be on the other side of all of Lex's shiny anti-Superman toys for once.
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Does the fourth wall even exist for you, Joker?
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The Joker, waking up in Clark Kent's apartment: "Damn, bitch, you live like this?"
While they are busy subduing SuperJoker, Bruce has a flawless plan for getting the Magic Artifact:
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Lois Lane, criminal mastermind.
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Lois is asking the real questions, but the Flash has learned not to even bother.
Finally, we come to the most important part of any Superman/Batman team up: the verbal equivalent of a sloppy makeout where they talk about how much they love each other.
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All's well that end's well after their exploration of another man's body.
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What the hell, this was so delightful???? Just a silly, fun romp through the body swap trope with several of my favorite characters. Thank you, I guess, Cheerios?
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brucewaynehater101 · 6 months ago
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What exactly are your thoughts on Gun Batman (with evil young justice as well)? I’ve noticed that there’s barely any fics about it and I can’t figure out why. It’s such a cool concept 😭
The part I don't understand is how little Villain!Tim fics there are. He's been built up as the one most likely to snap and kill everyone. He constantly has to convince himself not to murder people. DC throws so much shit at him that he's buried in a sewer. Just because Tim has done an admirable job so far holding onto Bruce's list of acceptable morals, that doesn't mean he'll always do so.
Yes, there are fics of him killing people. However, there's not a lot of him taking over the world or doing dastardly plots (unless it's a Reverse Robin AU). Let Tim be evil, y'all. Hell, let YJ be evil. They'd probably do it for the right reasons (kind of like Gun Batman, but hopefully better).
As far as Gun Batman, it's usually only used in fics as a crying point for Tim. Yes, it sucks to see yourself doing horrid things. However, he should throw it in Jason's face. He should chuck one of his siblings into that timeline when they start doubting him. He should let Gun Batman kill abusive!Bruce. Let Tim's Gun Batman meet Thomas Wayne's Batman.
You're absolutely right that it's such a cool concept that should be explored more. I mostly see fics talking about how Tim is willing to off himself if it prevents Gun Batman. Lots of angst there, but what about the fact that Bart was the only YJ member to oppose Tim? Bart is willing to follow any of Tim's plans no matter how morally questionable it is. Exploring exactly how far Bart is willing to follow would be super cool.
I might be a little bit emotional about the lack of Villain or Anti-hero Tim fics there are.
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escelia · 2 years ago
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Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Here's part 3 (or chapter 4) of my fic Not So Normal. After this installment, I'm planning on uploading the series to ao3 as well as Tumblr so stay tuned for that link to drop!
Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Masterpost
Not So Normal pt3
TW: vague, brief descriptions/mentions of violence, vivisection, and panic attacks
It had been a total accident. His parents were supposed to be halfway to a science convention by then. When Danny floated through the floor and into the kitchen he hadn't expected his mothe- he hadn't expected Maddie to be there. He should have expected the gun in his face a moment later, but definitely not the hole she'd put in his chest before he'd even gotten a word out. It happened so fast. The shouting and shooting, the thermos…
He'd come to on the exam table in the lab, wrists bound, bright light in his face. He could barely make out the figures just beyond it, though he knew exactly who they were. He'd begged and screamed and cried, anything to get them to listen. Jack had gotten Maddie to take a breath and listen for a moment as Danny tried to get it through to them that he was their son!
"I'm Danny, it's me! I'm still me! Please, mom, you've gotta believe me!"
They believed him. He never thought that would make it worse. They became curious in a way they weren't before. Less angry about the dastardly spook they thought had been impersonating their son and more eager to tear into the science experiment they believed legally belonged to them. They called him an abomination that was no longer human and gripped their scalpels with cruel excitement on their faces. He remembered screaming for hours.
Only Clockwork would be able to say how long he'd been like that. All Danny had known was that he was tired and weak, his throat was dry and his entire body ached. He'd been in human form for the whole thing, and though it was much more painful that way, it kept them from getting to his core. He would only ever be grateful for that.
Eventually it was Jazz that had released him. Jack and Maddie had stepped out for dinner believing his restraints would hold his weakened body. They'd been right, he couldn't have escaped on his own, but Jazz had snuck down to the basement right after they'd left and shoved him through the portal, telling him not to come back, it wasn't safe, but to contact her when he knew he was okay. She'd locked the portal's blast door behind him. There, drifting in the vast green of the Realms, he cried and cried until he felt himself fall through a natural portal.
He'd dropped into a dirty alley with a painful thud and couldn't suppress the cry of pain as rocks and dirt pressed into his wounds.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" He'd heard a man call. Gentle but firm hands helped him sit up, his own hands busy keeping his chest closed and smearing the blood and dirt that already covered him. The man gasped in horror as Danny begged for help.
Turns out the man that found him was none other than Bruce Wayne. He was alright as far as billionaires went; far more sane than Vlad at the very least. When Bruce asked what happened all he could get out was that his parents hurt him and he never wanted to go back there. Bruce had decided then and there that he would keep Danny. They'd taken pictures of the damage for court, thinking they would need to build a solid case since Danny was healing up well. He even called in a few favors with his lawyers. The Fentons, though, oh they helped plenty.
"Dr's Fenton, how do you plead?"
"Guilty! That thing is a monster! It belongs to us! That's our experiment! It's fooled you all! You'll see, just wait!"
Several of the officers around the courtroom had to restrain them as Maddie screamed and flailed. Jack was fuming. But much more docile than his wife. The pictures and testimonies had been enough to prove them guilty of child abuse and neglect, but their outburst all but sealed their fate as unsuitable parents. That day, Danny found a new place to call home, and a new family he was ready to die for.
~~•○•~~
Today was the day! Er- night! Tonight was the night! Danny was finally going out on patrol with the bat clan officially. After the events at the warehouse and his family finally learning about his past as Fenton and Phantom, Bruce has asked Danny if he was interested in patrolling with them. Damian had vouched for Danny, doling out thinly veiled compliments about his fighting prowess. Bruce decidedly kept that info to himself. The enthusiasm with which Danny responded had Bruce regretting asking, but it was clear that Danny had been itching to get out there and fight some crime.
Due to his experience, he'd been paired with Nightwing for the night. Dick had cheered at finally getting some one on one time with Danny, pulling him in for the kind of suffocating hug only an older sibling could provide. They had an absolute blast that night. Dick would show off, doing fun, dangerous looking flips off of buildings before firing his grappling hook at the last minute. And Danny could keep up, even as he swung through the air. It made Dick cackle in delight. Quietly of course, they were very stealthy, thank you! (Dick had to be shushed over the coms several times, and Danny was able to keep his laughter to a quiet snicker.)
They'd been on a roll with Danny being able to cover so much ground from so high up. In just the first few hours they'd stopped at least three muggings, recovered a stolen car, and prevented a bank robbery before it had even begun. Hearing his father commend him for a job well done over the coms made him glow with pride. He'd never had so much fun on patrol before. It made his core vibrate with glee.
"Danny, are you… purring?" Dick asked. He heard the others gasp over the coms.
"No! No, now way, I'm absolutely not purring! What gave you that idea?"
"He purrs?" Tim guffawed over the line, and Steph began to giggle uncontrollably.
"Absolutely not!"
"I've found he purrs when he's incredibly happy or content, just like a cat," Damian explained. He could hear the smirk in his voice.
"Aaawwwwwww! I'm happy spending time with you too, baby ghost!" Danny was smothered with another hug.
"Betrayed. By my baby brother! I cannot believe this."
"Settle down everyone! We're still on the clock," came the gruff, authoritative voice of Batman.
Sobering up from the moment, Danny and Dick went back to patrolling. It was starting to get quiet in their area, the others reporting incidents in their own sections of the city. It gave them time to grab a snack before something new popped up.
"You seem to be enjoying yourself," Nightwing began, taking a bite of his granola bar.
"I am," Danny replied. His snack of choice was a pack of fruit snacks. "Patrolling in my old haunt was exhausting. It was just me and my two friends out there most nights. Fight after fight after fight… I have a sense that lets me detect the presence of other ghosts, and it seemed to go off nonstop there. I was lucky if I got eight hours of sleep in a week, let alone a night." He paused to pop a few snacks in his mouth. Dick was quietly attentive, munching on his granola bar.
"Here, I know I've got someone to watch my back. And it helps that humans are much easier to handle non-violently than ghosts."
"I'm glad you like it here, Phantom," Nightwing said with a smile, using his codename. Danny smiled back, getting ready to toss a few fruit snacks into his mouth but stopping short when a chill unfurled on his chest. He gasped, dropping his snacks. Seemed like their break was over.
"What's wrong?" Nightwing asked alert now, eyes flicking around the area to perceive the threat.
"Get behind me."
"What?"
"Just do it! You're not equipped to fight ghosts!"
At the word ghost, the coms erupted in chaos. Danny shouted at them to stay clear, he could handle it just fine, it was probably a small fry anyways. Dick followed his directions, getting behind Danny but not cowering. No, his big brother was covering his back. Sure enough, about a minute later, three large glowing vultures rose over the edge of the rooftop.
"Awe great, it's the birds with the hats! What do you want?"
"Good evening to you, too, King Phantom," one of them snickered. Danny just scowled.
"Plasmius sent us to, and I quote, 'knock some sense inta ya.'" another one said, making air quotations with the tips of his wings.
"I'll have you know I've got a thermos here with your names on it and no access to a portal. How does an extended stay in Soupland sound?" Danny waved his thermos threateningly at them, a sarcastic smile on his face.
"How does taking your little friend here hostage sound?" The last one threatened, perching his claws on Dick's shoulders. Faster than Dick could blink, Danny had spun around, ice shooting out to freeze the two other two birds, thermos pointed like a gun, while clawed fingers wrapped around the third one's neck. The bird squawked in fear.
Frost swirled dangerously around his aura, and Dick swallowed nervously in the face of its intensity. Danny's eyes were glowing a furious, toxic green, and even though the glare wasn't directed at him, he could feel its anger. Dick had seen him like this at the warehouse, sure. But now, this close, Dick truly understood the sheer power that Danny possessed, the majesty that was this eldritch creature in front of him. Somehow, all he felt in his presence was safe.
Danny growled at the ghost clutching at Nightwing, squeezing until the talons loosened.
"Why did Vlad send you?" He questioned. Absently, Dick thought he reminded him of Bruce in interrogation mode.
"He's mad some other guy adopted you or something, the same usual psycho spiel!"
"What's he planning!"
"I don't know! He was going on about how you're supposed to be his son and was throwing things. He wanted us to come rough up you and your new family. He's real mad, but that's all we know, I swear!"
It was silent for a moment while Danny absorbed the information. He regarded the vulture with cold eyes but didn't release him. He should have known Vlad would try something like this. His adoption wasn't super public but it wasn't like it was a secret either, so he'd been bound to find out. Most ghosts respected him too much as King now to threaten anyone Danny considered family, but Vlad always had his ways. He'd have to take care of it without getting the others involved.
Making up his mind, he hit the button on his thermos, sucking up the frozen ghosts and the ice along with it before swinging it around and shoving the end on the last one's beak, trapping him too. Dick sagged in relief once they were gone and Danny made a fuss about checking his shoulders to make sure he wasn't injured.
"Phantom, what was that about!" Bruce's voice was strained over the coms, likely because he didn't know what to do or how to help. Damn, Danny had forgotten that the others could hear them. At the time it had been a brilliant idea; Danny infusing the coms with ectoplasm meant that not only could Danny use them without causing interference, but they were now some of the most secure lines of communication on earth. There went his plan to keep his family out of it.
"Just some unfinished business," Danny replied, trying to sound unbothered. "The hostiles have been apprehended, and there are no injuries. We're good to continue patrolling."
Dick eyed him skeptically.
"Absolutely not. Turn in for the night you two, we'll debrief at the end of patrol," was Batman's stern order.
"No way, more are bound to show up-"
"Which is why you'll need to teach us how to fight them. We'll need you level headed for that, Phantom. Head back to the cave. We'll talk later."
Danny pouted. He could be level headed and still finish patrol! He could! At least that's what he told himself while he clenched his fists to stop them from shaking. Dick put a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was cold.
"Why don't we have Agent A make us some hot chocolate and we'll tuck in for a movie while we wait for the others," he suggested. The ghost searched his brother's face, seeing concern even underneath his domino.
"Fine," Danny conceded. "But I get to pick the movie."
By the time the others had gotten back to the manor Danny was curled up on the couch, chilly toes tucked underneath his brother's thigh and hands curled around a warm mug while the credits for James Cameron's Avatar rolled on the TV. Damian reached over the back of the couch and gave Danny's shoulder a squeeze, pulling him from his post hot coco daze. They had a meeting to get started.
~~•○•~~
As everyone settled around the meeting table in the cave, Damian made a beeline to the seat next to Danny. He would never admit to anyone that he'd been jealous that Danny had been sent out with Richard. Logically, he knew there was no real reason for Brother to come with Father and himself. He wasn't getting dethroned as Robin, and he had enough experience that Father could trust Danny out with a patrol partner. Still, he'd wanted to be there for his first experience patrolling as a member of the family. After the events of the evening, he wished even more he'd been there.
He'd heard of this Vlad before, and never in a good light, though he knew nothing more than that Danny did not like him. It was clear he'd been a source of great stress before he had come to them. Damian was frustrated that he couldn't be there to put their assailants in their place. It looked as though Danny had never mentioned Vlad to anyone else. Damian didn't know if he was proud or concerned by that. Instead of voicing his thoughts on the matter, he leaned in close to Danny's ear to whisper.
"Are you sure we're not blood related?" Damian asked with a smirk.
"What?" Danny whispered back, confused.
"When you were questioning the, what were they, birds? You sounded like Father." Danny turned to blink at him, trying to process the comment. "It is a compliment, Danny."
"Oh!"
"What are you two whispering about?" Tim asked from across the table. He'd leaned one hand onto the table with the other on his hip like an amused mother who'd caught her children conspiring.
"It's none of your concern, Drake." Danny chuckled and shrugged at him, miming zipping his lips shut.
"Alright, mission report, Phantom," Bruce interrupted, approaching the table and throwing a folder down. "What was tonight about?" Danny took a deep breath to keep himself calm.
"An old thorn in my side. The vulture ghosts were sent by a guy who used to bother me back in Amity Park. Had this crazy idea that if he killed my family, he could have me all to himself as some little heir to his evil empire. Seems he heard about my adoption."
Bruce frowned deep at that. So he was a threat to be concerned about. Good thing he'd done some research on ghost weapons then. He tapped the folder.
"If he'll be sending more ghosts to attack us, then we need to know how to fight them. I've taken the liberty of doing some research on weaponry. DalvCo is willing-"
"Absolutely not!" Danny stopped him short. Bruce barely stopped himself from groaning. It had been a long night, and now was not the time to be argumentative.
"We need weapons. This isn't up for discussion."
"That wasn't a request, Bruce. As High King of the Infinite Realms, I forbid my family from doing business with DalvCo and, subsequently, Vlad 'Plasmius' Masters, who owns it." Bruce's face contorted with understanding after his words. The others were quick to catch on. He heard Dick grumble about how the name wasn't even clever, and it made Danny smirk.
"Besides," Danny continued, a sly grin overtaking his face. His teeth were a little too sharp in his mouth. "I have a much better plan. Tim, how do you feel about mad science?"
Tim's eyes gleamed, and his grin, teeth less sharp and far more human, matched Danny's.
"You can build weapons?" Damian guessed next to him. Danny glowed with pride.
"Of course I can, I'm Daniel Fenton-Wayne, after all!"
~~•○•~~
Meanwhile, in Soupland
"I told you we shoulda just told him what was up, then got outta there."
"How was I supposed to know he was gonna ice you two?"
"Oh, please, the ice was tame. He souped us! He said he doesn't have access to a portal and he souped us!"
"That's what we get for threatening someone close to our King."
"Exactly, we shouldn'ta done that. We're too old for this!"
"I may be old, but I'm not deaf. Stop shouting in my ear, loud mouth!"
"Well, then get your wing outta my face, flabby feathers!"
"In case you haven't noticed, IT'S FROZEN!"
"We coulda been on a tropical southern island by now if it weren't for that Plasmius jerk pitting us against Phantom."
"Yeah!"
"Yeeaah!"
"We should work for the King from now on."
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cutiecorner · 2 years ago
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Those With Evil Hearts Beware...
Ficlet• agere • Regressor! Bruce Wayne, Caregiver! Alfred Pennyworth
Impromptu story time!! Here's a super short little drabble I thought up, I haven't posted a Dadfred & Babybat fic in forever. This one's super duper short, but hopefully I'll get to right a proper fic soon!
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Alfred was just minding his business. He sat on the couch in the drawing room, catching up on a book Leslie had pestered him amount. It was pleasant, still, quiet. Quite lovely, really. Unfortunately, evil had other plans.
"take that! " a slipper hit him on the shoulder. Thrown gently, barely any force at all, which could only mean one thing.
"A sneak attack?" Alfred peered over his shoulder to find Bruce crouching behind the doorway, dawned in his favorite cap and cape.
Alfred picked up the slipper and examined it, "hm..." he thought aloud, "what an interesting projectile..."
There was a giggle from the hall.
"A seemingly ordinary object, but with such form, such aerodynamic material? This could only be the work of..."
"The Grey Ghost!" Alfred's leg was pounced upon and captured by a smiling, giggling Bruce. The captured foe fell back on the couch in anguish.
"Curses! Foiled again by the formidable Grey Ghost!" He threw his hands in the air in faux despair, making Bruce's laughter even louder. While Bruce melted into giggles Alfred returned to his book, leg still in the clutches of his enemy.
"Aren't you gonna get away?" Bruce looked up with big, expectant eyes.
"But you've foiled my plan. I've been sentenced to life in penitentiary, reading this book."
"Nooo Alfie!" Brucie kicked his legs and pulled on the inattentive butler's pant, to no avail. His cheek fell to the captured limb in contemplation.
"Pleeeease?" Alfred finally looked down from his reading. Bruce looked up at him beyond his favorite cap, eyes demanding attention and adventure. Well, the boy had a good argument. He was small and he said please.
"hrm," Alfred brought his hand to his chin in dastardly thought, "I suppose I could break free, with the proper... Distraction!"
The Grey Ghost's signature hat was pulled over his face, much to his glee. The book was discarded as the villain made a break for the kitchen.
The book could wait. They had their own story to tell.
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ao3feed-brucewayne · 3 months ago
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Riddle me this Robin
by PrideQuest64 A new criminal has appeared in Gotham City, The Riddler has stalked local broadcasts all over the city and has threatened to unleash a new wave of terror. Red Robin alongside The Batman stands ready to foil these dastardly plans. But can Tim Drake focus on taking down this new villain whilst managing a budding romance? And what shall he do when these two worlds collide? Words: 1634, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Edward Nygma, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth Relationships: Tim Drake/Edward Nygma, Red Robin/The Riddler Additional Tags: Teen Romance, Teenage Dorks, Dorks in Love, Tired Tim Drake, Edward Nygma is the Riddler, Socially Awkward Edward Nygma, Gay Tim Drake, Gay Edward Nygma, Feelings Realization, Slow Build, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School via https://ift.tt/xTso39v
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thatyamiguy-blog · 2 years ago
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A very little guy Christmas (DC)
It was the most wonderful time of the year, at least if you asked a certain orangeish red haired freckled faced 10 year old in a 19 year old's body. wally west always loved Christmas but this year was better then any other as Christmas morning also happened to land on the 4 month anniversary of him and his wonderful boyfriend Dick having moved in together. Their modest little one story house was well stocked thanks to stocks Dick had from his adopted father Bruce Wayne that were managed by Lucas fox meaning neither boy HAD to work out side of the occasional superhero stint. Dick had actually been thinking about getting a bigger house till wally had pointed out they didn't have a butler and he wasn't gonna just clean the palace pointing out 'just because I move at super speed doesn't mean I'm not still putting in the same effort' That being said, Wally had taken it upon himself to put up the Christmas decorations, Dick had just come home with the box with the speedster had removed it from his hands and it look like a Christmas explosion had happened in the house, both inside and out. "..You know, Barry warned me but I didn't believe him." Dick had teased. "Hey! I left the tree alone for us to do together." Wally had said, a mock pout on his face, and earning a kiss on his freckled cheek from dick that almost made him melt. "That you did Wall man, that you did."
As the pair had set up the tree, Dick couldn't help but gush mentally about how much his lover and best friend seemed to have regressed just from such a simple act. he loved the freckled dork with all of his heart and it was that love that helped him get over the semi hurt he'd experience a month before after discovering the dork's secret, something he apparently thought was so shameful that not even Barry or Iris knew about. Considering the bond between the three that said lots. Still while he had been temped to confront wally at the time, Dick had a better plan and was waiting for Christmas morning, when his adorable little speedster would get a very special Christmas present from Santa. "Dick! you're not gonna believe this, but somebody, and I don't know who, ran in here and stole the last of those awesome sugar cookies you made while we were getting the tree decorated! I bet it was Zoom, he's always had a sweet tooth!" Wally said, shaking Dick out of his distracted thoughts. Dick smirked. A speedster wasn't totally unnoticeable if you knew what you were looking for and while you wouldn't be able to do much to stop them in most cases, there was a tell tale vibration in the chest that you could feel if you trained yourself to notice it. even then Wally's claims that it could of been Zoom (who dick knew for a fact was locked up in Iron heights at the moment) Wally's claims fell flat due to the scatter of crumbs on his chin and a smudge of icing on his lip. "Really? that DASTARDLY fiend!" Dick chuckled. "He even went the extra mile to plant evidence on you!" Wally froze and blushed, then wiped his face getting icing and crumbs on his Christmas sweater and gave a sheepish laugh. "oh uh..well, see.."  wally started, rubbing the back of his head with the other arm. "Relax, I'll make more after this, but your helping this time. note that means helping me make the dough and cook it, not stealing half of the cookie dough one tea spoon at a time." Dick chuckled. "I can handle that, BUT!" and wally held up a finger. "Only if I get to lick the beaters." "Deal dork."
With the presents under the tree, Wally had to keep fighting the urge Christmas eve not to just unwrap them and re wrap them at super speed to see what he got. For one, he knew it would spoil any surprises Dick had planned for him and well for anther.. he was Nightwing and had been trained by the freaking batman. there was no way Dick wouldn't of found out somehow. Believe it or not, living with the world second (or was that third?) greatest detective could be a pain, no matter how great his butt looked. 'Though it IS a very, very sexy butt.' Wally thought, watching as Dick bent down to add a last second extra three presents. "heh, really going all out and spoiling me this year even after I made you wear that ugly sweater huh?" Wally giggled, sitting on the couch and sipping at some eggnog. It's a wonderful life was playing on TV though never of them were really paying attention to it, it was just a Christmas tradition that Dick had with Bruce and wally had been fine with carrying it on over to their house. "Oh, these aren't from me. Superman was doing a favor for Santa and dropped these off early, he knows what a good boy you've been." Dick said and smirked. Wally giggled, he of course knew there was no such thing as Santa (though given what kind of world he lived in, he'd maybe had spent A LOT of time in the north pole when he first got his powers looking for Santa's workshop) He loved how small dick was treating him and wised that he could of confessed his hidden side to Dick. But with all the weirdo's that dick had dealt with in Gotham, the last thing he wanted was for Dick to find out that sometimes wally liked to act even younger then he had been since December 1st. "heh, you think superman helps out at Santa's workshop?" Wally asked, winking, and keeping the little game going. "well maybe once or twice, Likely doesn't do it too much or he'd put the elf's out of work you know." Dick fired back. Wally snorted, he'd gone for anther drink of eggnog and now some flew out of his nose and onto the front of his own ugly sweater. "Ha! Picture a picket line around the fortress! 'Workshop jobs for workshop elf's!' and all that!" "heh, Or maybe he just doesn't care for the work uniform, having to wear the fake ears and all." dick said, coming over as wally was caught up in a fit of giggles mentally picturing it.
Dick smirked as the movie wasn't even halfway over and wally was already falling asleep, he'd caught him going out on a dozen pointless patrols though out the day but Barry had warned him wally tried to tire himself out on Christmas eve under the whole 'the sooner I go to bed, the sooner it's CHRISTMAS!' mindset. Despite having no powers of his own Dick was pound for pound the stronger of the two (at least when wally wasn't using his speed to add force to his attacks) and Dick scooped the cutie up in his arms, wall's chest to his own and the sleeping redhead's face resting on his shoulder and getting it damp with drool. arm under his silly little lover's butt and thigh's Dick carried him  to their bedroom, gently setting wally on the king sized bed and then slowly getting him undressed, trying not to wake the little guy up. Getting wally out of his sweater and pants and socks was the easy part, and Dick had originally planned and tucking wally into bed in just his Flash brief's. The he got a look at the stained on them and rolled his eyes, the boy just didn't like to wipe right! 'Oh well, let's me get to see that cute freckled ass.' Dick mentally chuckled and slowly, carefully, a bit at a time got the undies off of the fastest dork alive. picking out a pair of loose boxers (with a lighting bolt them going on) Dick tugged them up most of the way, getting Wally's cute little pee pee (though Dick knew it was a grower not a shower) covered up the rolled him gently over onto his side, and drooled little as he looked at dat ass. the white almost pale skin (Since Wally didn't have the patience for tanning) made the brown freckles all over the boys bubble butt stick out and if it wasn't for the fact he'd of woken wally up, he'd of leaned down and blew a raspberry on one of those cheeks. 'Sigh, the things I do for the greater good.' Dick thought and tugged up the boxers instead and got the wall man tugged under the blankets. Looking at the clock it was only 8 pm, and Dick wasn't used to going to sleep this early due to his years of patrolling the streets at night. '..oh what the heck.' He thought, and after going and turning off all the lights in the house and making sure the doors were locked, made his way back to their bedroom and stripping down to his own undies, crawled under the blankets. it wasn't even five seconds later before wally was snuggling into his chest and cooing 'daddy' '...I could get used to this." Dick thought with a grin.
Wally yawned as he woke up, a grin coming over his face. He was alone in the bedroom though that wasn't anything new considering, same with Dick carrying him to bed when he conked out. the only mild surprise was that he hadn't been woken up by a raspberry on his cheeks, he knew how much Dick loved his tushie. Getting out of bed he slipped on a cream white sleeping robe, not bothering with a top or pants and his only detour as he made his way to the living room/kitchen because of it's open concept was to tap a kidney so to speak. Dick  had made coffee and was reading a new's parent, the tree lights on and a fire going in the fire place and he looked up to see Wally and smirked. "About time sleepy head! I thought you were gonna sleep the whole day away." Dick teased lightly. "he, It's only 6:30 in the morning Dick." "Like I said.." Blowing a raspberry at Dick wally eyed the presents under the tree and was about to make his move when Dick cleared his throat. "I was thinking, I know normally Barry and iris let you open all your presents first..But I wanna open MINE all up first. trust me, it'll be worth the wait." Dick said, setting the paper down and coming over leaving his mug behind as well. wally whined like a little boy and then bit his lip, He WAS semi used to ruling Christmas morning and it couldn't hurt to let Dick this, if he had to. he guessed. "ooook. just don't take forever. I've seen you with wrapping paper, you try and save it!" wally said, unable to keep the BRAT out of his tone. "I swear, I'll go fast..not as fast as you but.." Dick chuckled and took a seat. In what took what seemed like hours to wally (though it was only 15 minutes at most) dick had unwrapped his presents, Having gotten marital arts gear, tech and books from members of the bat family (and some cook books from Alfred) It was his present from wally though that had Dick squealing with delight, as it was a old stuff toy robin Dick had tossed out when they first moved in together since it hadn't handled the move and had basically come apart. Wally had found it, rescued it and after a few (ok a lot) hit and misses had managed to get it cleaned, stuffed and restitched back together. "I know it's not as fancy as the other presents bu-" Wally was said, rubbing the back of his head but was cut off as Dick Hugging him hard and kissed both his cheeks over and over. "Thank you! I love it!" Dick gushed. "This makes me SO glad I went all out for your gifts!" "heh, ooooh? and speaking of~" wally said, grinning like a fool and blushing at just how much Dick treasured his cheap fixed up stuffed toy over the insane amount of cash that had been spent on his other gifts. "Yes! Though hand on, I wanna give you your gifts in the right order!" Dick said and semi rushed and pushed wally onto a seated position on the floor. "heh, jeez, remind me that plushies are the way to your heart." Wally giggled, but took a seat cross legged and holding out his arms, his hands all in 'gimme!' mode. The first present was from Wally's parents, a set pot's and pans even though they already had some, they tended to try and be practical. The second was from his ex Artemis, who he was still friends with since the break up had been on both of them and she was dating Red arrow these days. It was a book on the zen of archarcy, though wally wasn't much into shooting. The third and forth were from Tim and Barbra, Robin and batgirl and were some lower tech versions of the gifts Dick had gotten and the firth was large book with lots of fairy tales in it with vivid drawing to go along with the text. "heh, Guess Alfred doesn't know I'm not much of a reader." Wally said, blushing at that gift and how childish it was. "oh you'd be surprised what Al knows." Dick said in a amused voice. Wally went to ask what that meant but was shushed as the first present from Santa was handed to him, and Dick stood by, with a HUGE grin on his face as wally took the bulky thing and torn at the tape, only to freeze and blush red all over and look back up at Dick. "Merry Christmas little guy." Dick said as wally looked back down at the pack of little waddlers, the diapers for big babies in his lap. "I.. but ..you.. " wally whined, trying to find the words to ask just HOW Dick had known Wally was a closeted adult baby! "Before you ask, Just remember, I'm a world class dective, I found out last month and you have NO idea how hard it's been to keep it to myself till now. well mostly to myself." Dick chuckled. "...Mostly?" Wally asked, gulping and looking back under the tree. there was still two more presents from Santa, a present or two from dick, -groan- a present from batman and.. "Tell me you didn't tell Barry and Iris!?" wally whined and pouted. "I would but that would set a bad example for my baby boy. you shouldn't fib." Dick laughed.
Dick felt a little bit bad as wally whined and whimpered, clearly he hadn't of wanted Barry and Iris to know but they were coming over for dinner later (with Dick and wally going to Wayne manor for dinner on boxing day) and he wanted him free to be a little guy all day. "can i at least get one of my diapies on before we open the rest?" Wally whined, hugging the pack close to his chest and making Dick smirk. "Open up your present from Santa then we'll get my widdle man in his diapies." Dick said, Kissing the redhead's cheek and breaking the pout from his face, though damn if wally didn't try and keep pouting, it just kept turning into a grin. 'Santa's' other two presents it turned out were a six pack of wipes and baby powder for the babies bottom, making it clear to Wally that Dick was more then willing to change him.(and BOY did Dick watching that realization click and the the MASSIVE blush that brought!) and then a second pack of diapers. "Don't worry, we'll get more as you need them, we can even clear out your underwear drawer if we have to." Dick said cheerfully and got a reply that was music to his ears. "DADDY!" "awww, it's ok. I know you'll wanna make me all sorts of presents. Now, ready to get your diapies on?" Dick asked, coming closer and gently pushing Wally onto his back. "Y-yeah but right here?" wally asked, eyes darting to the window, even though the curtains were drawn shut. "hey, you wanna be a big baby, you have to go with it..when does a BABY get to chose where he gets his huggies changed?" Dick asked teasingly. "I hate you so much right now!" Wally huffed and laid back, crossing his arms. "No you don't." Dick said. "..No I don't." wally agreed.
it was surreal, having his loving boyfriend being so ok with this and slipping into a daddy role with such ease.. It also had wally mentally cursing himself for not having spoken up sooner since he could of been rocking out in diapers ALL this time! he closed his eyes not in shame but in bliss and his arms uncrossed as a thumb found it's way into his mouth as Dick pulled his undies off then opened the package. "How many diapers do you want on little man? you can keep sucking your thumb and show me with your finger unless it's gonna take more then five." Dick teased gently. wally squirmed LOTS at that, he had toyed and experimented with layering of course, what big baby hadn't? but those were cheap store brand diapers and he wanted to make these last. Thinking about it for a second, wally held up three fingers. "ok, can do.. Hmm.. Should of gotten your robe off first." Dick said. Wanting to speed this along and get his butt back in diapers wally took matters into his own hands, thumb out of mouth and eyes open as he quickly shed the robe and tossed it down the hall like it was on fire and then was back on the floor, shivering a little from the cold, and a whole lot from excitement. "heh, well that takes care of THAT I suppose." Dick laughed and tickled Wally's tummy as the speedster went back to slobbering on his thumb, but kept his eyes open this time. Dick made a show of it, Unfolding each of the bulky baby print diapers and teasing wally almost with them and making the little reach out with his free hand, all I want. he was almost making Wally's little guy stick up to a full 6 inches. "Well, if I had ANY doubt you didn't want this before." Dick chuckled then added "Butt up wall man." Wally listened to daddy and lifted his hips, all three diaper had been layered on top of each other and it felt like he was resting his butt on a pillow as his tushie came back down, his stiffly twitching wildly and Wally blushed, he was gonna cream hands free any second now. "Guess I better stop teasing and hurry up before you shoot and coat yourself and have to go for a bath." Dick chuckled, quickly sprinkling LOTS of baby powder on Wally's privates and BARLEY getting the inner most diaper taped up before wally started to jerk his hips up and down, crying out around his thumb as load after load of 'baby milk' shot out into the diaper, Dick watching the show and though his orgasmic haze Wally could see Dick was getting excited as well.
Dick had to admit, while he'd of never thought of being a daddy dom before, he was finding it super fun and hot as fuck. watching wally cream that hard just from his huggies had Dick wanting to replace that thumb with a certain put of himself in Wally's mouth, but this was all about the baby and there would be time for that later. Waiting for the hip's to stop jerking Dick moved a hand down and even though the thickness of the diaper could feel how hard his boyfriend turned baby boy was spurting and leaned down, smooching the big babies cheek and setting off anther wave of orgasmic bliss for the little guy. Once wally was done, Dick smiled and rubbed Wally's tummy. "have fun?" Dick asked and wally nodded. "Do you still wanna go on with the rest of the diapers or do you need a bit of big boy time after you cream?" He wasn't being mean, he'd be happy to keep babying little wally but also didn't wanna force this on him anymore then he already had with the telling Barry and iris and Bruce. wally pulled his thumb out, and there was a line of drool with it that Dick somehow found just even cuter and he gushed in a babyish voice. "me wanna wear diapies ALL day dada." Wally coo'ed. Dick's cock almost shot then and there and he was positive it was only his training in self control under Bruce and other martial art master that kept him from shooting though his undies and coating wally. 'maybe I'm gonna need a diaper too at this rate.' dick mused to himself then out loud. "Ok little guy!"
triple diapered and feeling all so small in the most wonderful way, Wally had turned into a little cuddle bug and kept nuzzling into Dick whenever he wasn't opening a present or waiting for Dick to get him one. His present from Barry and iris was a large teddy bear, with a kid flash outfit on and by larger it was almost as big as his upper body and he gave it LOTS of hugs and named it Teddy flash right then and there. His present from Bruce was confusing, as it was a book about how to stop bed wetting and he held it up for Dick to see with a eyebrow raised. "Yeahhh..Bruce didn't really get what I was trying to tell him and just settled on thinking you were a bed wetter so I ran with it." Dick explained sheepishly. "heh, Ok. Guess that means no wearing to grandpa's house huh?" Wally giggled. "Ha! yeah, don't think that'll work out..though Alfred semi knows hence the fairy tales and well, Tim's got a lot of quirks like you so think he'd just get jealous." Dick chuckled. Wally giggled LOTS at that and then it was time for his gifts from Dick, which included two type of paci's (one with a naughty nipple and one with a normal) A set of Lego blocks but the big ones meant for babies, a rattle, a few more stuffies (A anther bear, a owl, a rabbit) and a diaper shirt that was main yellow with the flash logo on the front and on the back went 'Faster pooper alive!' in red lightning text. He also got a teddy bear themed shirt and shorts outfit, a couple of toddler show DVDS and of course his FAVORITE onesie, the one he insisted on right away, was a red one with green trim and a picture of mistletoe on the small of the back, just above the butt and text about it saying "Kiss under the mistletoe"
Getting the onesie on the little guy wasn't easy, Dick would have to see if Iris could let it out some or something or just cut back on the diapers when Wally wanted to read it. But as the protege of the god damn batman wasn't one to give up quick and with a lot of effort and grunting he got the crotch snaps done up, though he had to make use of some spirit gun like he used to keep his mask on to do it. unsurprisingly Wally wasted little time as soon as it was on, rolling over and getting on his hands and knees and offering his massive padded rear up and looking over his shoulder. "Welllll Daddy? Aren't you gonna kiss me 'under the mistletoe'?" he asked, breaking into a fit of giggled. "I suppose I better do it now before you go uh-oh." Dick countered and too lots of hoots and giggles, Leaned in and planted a big old smooch on Wally's diapered butt. "Hehehehehe I might be a BIG baby..But your a BUTT kisser!" Wally giggled like mad. Seeing how excited wally was Dick made a mental note NOT to let him have sugar while he was in little mode. "Soooo what do we do noooooow?" Wally asked, plopping back on his butt, leg's spread. "well I'm gonna go make use breakfast while YOU have a very, very important mission." Dick said, grabbing the first DVD he came across and noting the title then opening it. "Ohhh?" Wally asked, tilting his head and getting the normal paci clipped to his onesie. "Yup! You need to start watched Paw patrol so you can explain it all to daddy when he goes to watch it with you later. think you can handle that?" Dick asked. Wally smirked and then put on a fake look of concern. "it'll be tough.. but I MIGHT be able to handle it if I have my super science blocks to put together while I study the Intel sir!" Wally giggled. "heh.. well of course!" Dick said, going and getting the dvd in the machine and turning on the tv, and hearing a weird scuffing noise turned around and grinned ear you ear. Wall had the container of blocks in one arm, and was rocking his hips and using the other arm to guide him as he scooted across the floor on his butt! 'Just how did it take me finding diapers not to see what a little guy he is, and just how the hell does he manage to adult at all?' Dick wondered.
With the blocks dumped out (after Dick got them opened since there was plastic to cut and Wally was too little to have a knife of course) Wally set to work while sucking on his paci to make a semi mock computer, while Dick cued up the menu and had episode 1 ready to go, he was just waiting on 'agent baby' to give the thumbs up he was ready. give the thumbs up wally could feel a familiar pressure building up rapidly in his bowels and thought about letting Dick know he had to go poopie, and ask to use the potty, he'd never actually crapped himself before. 'nggggh.. nah. he said I hafa think like a baby and babies dun get to pick when and what they use their diapers for.' Wally thought and leaned forward as Dick passed him by, deciding to give his boyfriend a slight warning of what was coming by giving out a poot. Instead, the 3 days of backed up poopie in his tummy (his eating habit's sometimes could back him up for days as food struggled to get though) took the opening and a soft 'eek!' escaped from his lips and a massive amount of poopie forced it's way out into his diapers, bulking them out even more but because of the spirit gum the onesie couldn't just pop open which meant once the back of the diaper was full, it only had one place to go.. the front. Hands on the floor and on his knee's wally suckled hard on his paci as his poopies coated the front of his diapies, making him make tinkles and milk again and as the massive load came to a stop three or four minutes later, he opened his eyes and saw Dick smiling, having watched the whole thing. "So glad you made room for din din. I'll change you after we eat." he said and then gently and firmly pushed wally onto his squishy and smelly seat and made the big baby make anther load of baby milk. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't able to tell daddy much about paw patrol.
The end
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riddlcmcthis · 2 years ago
Text
New Verses!
❓ Guy in the chair ❓ v; alliance - Eddie, due to a combination of his hatred for the Joker, his desire to make something of himself after failing to help the Rogues implement his plan to take down Batman once and for all, turns instead to the Bat for assistance in taking down the Joker and the Rogues who betrayed him. He confronts Bruce Wayne with the knowledge of his secret identity, and uses it as leverage to win himself a position as Batman’s technologically gifted partner in crime fighting, helping to track down criminals by hacking into any and every security feed he can get his digital hands on, keeping the GCPD of Batman’s back by distracting or otherwise deterring them, and setting up elaborate traps for Batman to chase or lure more slippery villains into. As he does more and more hero work, Eddie discovers that he likes it more than he ever liked being a Rogue, and that he’s very fond of the Bat’s no killing rule. However, the guilt of his past actions also begins to eat away at him over time.
❓ what in the upside down?! ❓ v; Stranger Things - It’s the 80’s, and a twenty-one-year-old Edward Nygma has decided to take a break from his relatively new gig as the dastardly Riddler. Gotham has quickly proven to be a bit big and daunting for this small town boy, so he returns to his hometown of Hawkins, Indiana to visit his grandmother and gain some perspective. No one there knows his alter ego. They only know him as punkass Eddie Nygma, the motorcycle-riding brat who blasts his devil’s music too loud, gets in too many fights, and refuses to answer questions without talking circles around the asker. That life is so much simpler than life as a Rogue…or so he thinks. He returns to hear rumors of monsters, of disappearing kids, and of gruesome murders. He doesn’t believe them, at first, and is far more concerned with trying to keep the new guy in town from killing Harrington, but rumors soon turn into horror stories, and Eddie is yanked into the midst of it all.
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meekmedea · 2 years ago
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Lex Luthor
“Kon, you left her alone with Luthor?! Of all people, you thought he was the best choice?” Tim is on the verge of pulling his hair out. 
“Hey! What is that supposed to mean?” 
`
“Didn’t he unleash killer robots in Metropolis last week?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, Dad is good with kids. ”
`
“Kon…” Tim stares pleadingly at his partner. “I love you so much, but Bruce is going to kill me.”
“Tim, I think you’re reading into this too much. It’s fine. And it’s not like Dad forced her into plans for world domination. He didn’t with me. Mercy assured me that she’d keep an eye out on them too.”
“I really hope you’re right.”
~~~
“Your youngest daughter is charming, you should bring her along to the next gala,” says Lex offhandedly mid-conversation. 
The glass in Bruce’s hands almost shatters from the shock. What? Since when?
“A bright child, you must be very proud of her.”
“Yes, yes,” he says dazedly. Did Medea acquire another supervillian as a tutor and neglect to tell him?
`
The conversation bounces in his mind and he passes through the rest of the gala in a daze. The drive back to Gotham goes by in a blur. 
“Medea. You know I love you very much, right?” he says, the moment he sees her back at the manor. 
She gives him a strange look. “Dad? Is everything alright?”
“And we’ve had conversations about not keeping secrets,” he continues. “You’d tell me if you acquired another tutor on your terms, right?”
Her cheeks flushed. “Well, there is something.”
“What happened?” He sits down next to her. "I promise I won't be mad.”
“Look, I know I didn’t do well on my last quiz, but I promise, I’ll do better on the next one,” she says earnestly. “Tim’s been helping me already.”
“Wait what? No, I meant Lex Luthor.”
A puzzled look appears on her face. “What about Lex? Why would he be tutoring me?”
This time it’s his turn to be flustered. “Well…I…” He flounders for words. “Nevermind that, but why does Lex Luthor think you’re so charming? I wasn’t aware you had met.”
`
“Oh. He sort of babysat me a few times.”
“What? When?” His eyebrows go higher and higher as Medea lists the various times. All which corresponded to Justice League emergencies or ones for the Titans. “And he hasn’t–” he trails off weakly. 
She shook her head. “He’s quite nice.”
`
Lex Luthor, nice. They don’t really belong together.  Bruce doesn’t voice that out loud, instead, he says, “Really?”
“Yeah.” As if unsure what to say at the silence between them, she adds, “Did you know he wanted to run for president?”
“I don’t think he’d be a good fit.”
Medea hummed in approval. “I know, I told him the same. He’s nice and all that, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s a good fit. Personally, I think Ms. Talia could do the best job.”
`
“I could see that.” And he did. Talia had always a knack for managing and directing things. 
“Lex thinks so too.”
~~~~
It seems harmless and after a visit or two as Batman, Bruce gets enough reassurance that Lex has no dastardly plans to harm Medea or to involve her in his plans. 
For such a ruthless businessman, he seemed the opposite when dealing with children. Bruce supposed that everyone had their sides that they hid away from work. 
`
So he didn’t think too much of it. And he does bring Medea along to the next gala that Lex attends.
There may have also been a precedent with Wilson. Loathe as he is to say it, he thinks he can imagine Talia’s voice if she caught wind of him not allowing either to interact. “You’re burning bridges, Beloved.”
`
Though he wonders if he should have kept a closer eye on Lex when Medea corrects him. “That’s only phase one,” she mutters, passing the gauze to Alfred. “The other parts get a lot better.”
The others exchanged a glance – confused, puzzled and shocked.
“Medea?” he says carefully. “What do you mean just phase one?” He took back everything he thought about Luthor not involving her in his plans for world domination.
She glanced up to send him a look that seemed to ask why he didn’t understand. “Because it is?”
“Please explain.”
`
What follows was a plan so convoluted that only Lex could have come up with it. Bruce doesn’t know whether to cry or laugh at the fact that Medea is able to follow along. 
It almost makes….makes Luthor sound like a hero of sorts. An anti-hero perhaps. 
`
“So you’re telling me that he has all these evil plans…that will end with city destruction,” says Stephanie slowly. 
Medea nodded. 
“The places destroyed are deep in corruption.”
“Yep.”
“And because his confrontations with Clark always end with destruction, the city is forced to look into the matter and start anew.”
“Exactly. It’s like…” Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to think of the word. Medea snaps her finger when it comes to her. “Like charity work. Yes, that’s what he said.”
`
“Charity work,” echoes Tim in astonishment. “Charity work.”
“Is it bad that I kind of support this?” says Stephanie. ���Bruce, why don’t you do this?”
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jovialjuggernaut-draws · 2 years ago
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“friends kiss eachother right?” “no.” “i mean-” ??
"Friends kiss each other, right?"
"No."
"I mean-" Edward grinned, not seeming the least bit put off by Bruce's curt reply. "-It's a good thing we're not friends, then, isn't it?"
Bruce huffed with frustration, desperately attempting to keep the little creep's face from his own. "Enemies don't kiss each other, either."
"We're not enemies, not this time," Edward purred. "We're partners, remember? And partners certainly kiss each other."
"Not this kind of partnership," Bruce refuted.
"Aha!" Edward seemed far too pleased with the rebuttal. "So, you admit it is a partnership!"
Shit. A wordsmith to the bitter end. Bruce had nearly forgotten, with the way the Riddler had been plastering himself to his side all day, how much the man enjoyed running him in verbal circles. "We are not partners, you do not get to refer to me as your partner, and you do not get to kiss me. Am I making myself clear?"
Edward hummed, tracing a pattern loosely around the bat symbol on Bruce's chest. "What if I ask very, very nicely?"
"Then I will remind you, very nicely, that my answer is no."
"And… what if I then kissed you anyway?"
"I would break your nose," Bruce threatened.
Horrifyingly, Edward looked like he was seriously considering it.
Bruce heaved a sigh. "Fine. One. Then you solve the damned door puzzle and free us. De-"
Before he could even finish, Edward was tugging him down, surprisingly strong arms tugging him down to meet soft lips… strawberry-flavored?
"Are you wearing lip gloss?"
Edward giggled, kissing him again. "Ma~aybe."
"You planned this."
"And what would you do if I did?"
The kisses didn't let up. "I told you just one."
"Mmm… as long as our lips are still touching, it counts as one kiss," Edward claimed.
"By that logic, we could be here forever," Bruce pointed out.
"Maybe that's the plan. My evil, dastardly plan. Keep Batman off the streets by holding him hostage by the mouth. You never even considered the possibility, did you?"
Bruce rolled his eyes, gently pulling Edward's arms away so he could finally break contact, though he pressed his lips to the sharp line of Edward's jaw before pulling away, preemptively placating his protests. "If I let you do that, we would both starve to death, not to mention the murder we're still trying to prevent. The door?"
Edward pouted, but didn't press the matter. "Whatever you say, partner."
And for his own sanity, Bruce didn't press that matter, either.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years ago
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anyway I'm thinking about Their Dark Designs again. yeah, the one where the Riddler did too much meth and now his spine's a question mark and he hasn't slept in three months. yeah, this is gonna be about the Riddler. keep scrolling.
anyway. the premise is basically like. x number of years ago Selina and Oswald and Eddie all sat down with a guy who was, basically, the fucking devil to come up with their Biggest Bestest Possible Bad Guy Ideas of All Time to, like, up their criminal game.
(the Joker also did this but the devil hated him and tried to kick him out and things got so bad that Oswald and Eddie ended up having to burn down the devil's house to hide the evidence so like. the moral here is that you don't bring the Joker to evil dinner parties.)
anyway the point is that they were supposed to push themselves to come up with something so dastardly and foolproof that they'd basically take over the city while Batman shit himself to death crying about it, and They Would Have Gotten Away With It, Too, if it weren't for, as noted, the Joker Fucking Up, so they just pinkie swore to never talk about it instead. all of this is the backstory.
anyway. the story in the present kicks off when Somebody starts doing the masterplans that nobody was ever supposed to find out about, and like. listen. Oswald's was supposed to end with him as the mayor (I LOVE when the Penguon is the mayor) and that doesn't pan out At All but his plan does unleash like five bugfuck crazy assassins on the city and that distracts Bruce pretty good, and Selina's plan actually goes pretty much flawlessly which is unfortunate for her because her plan was to Steal All Of Bruce Wayne's Fucking Money and Bruce is her boyfriend now (oops) but then fucking.
my fucking little guy. Eddie's master scheme was to like. I don't know. hijack the city's power grid and shut down chunks of it and make Batman solve a big crossword puzzle? and somehow at the end of this he'd be in charge of the GCPD? except what Actually Happens when he rolls out this plan (and I have to be clear - Eddie does this one himself, he's the only one who actually gets to do his own big boy evil plan) is that Bruce, who's already cranky 'cause he had to fight Deathstroke, just like. effortlessly solves every single clue that Eddie chucks at him, to the point that he starts anticipating what other answers are going to be without even??? having a physical representation of the damn crossword in front of him??? he's so tired. and he INSTANTLY clocks where Eddie is broadcasting is from, too, so he just rocks up and tranquilizes his ass with absolutely minimal effort because, again, the little freak Has Not Slept In Three Months.
and like maybe we can chalk some of this absolutely fucktacular failure up to the aforementioned meth or to the fact that the Joker was probably just using him as an additional nuisance. (the Joker is the one doing the masterplans btw fucking of course it's the Joker. this is the lead-up to Joker War, which is. mmmblrgh. it's pretty bad which sucks because Their Dark Designs kind of rips.) but jesus christ my man. my guy. this was the best you could do. you put this together at the top of your game before you did supermeth and became a question mark. and this was??? the best you could do???
also worth noting that at one point Riddleboy leaves behind a video for Bruce where he's holding his hand behind his hand to flash clues at the camera but he is, regrettably, nude the entire time, which means that Bruce definitely had a not insignificant view of the Riddler's pathetic ass. probably the only W Eddie gets in this entire story tbh.
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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago
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Hey. I was hoping you or your followers could help me find some fics. I am CRAVING fics about Brucie Wayne. Either all Brucie or Brucie shows up in the fic.
For those who don't know what I mean, Everyone Knows in Gotham that Bruce (also known as Brucie) Wayne is dumb and sometimes gets himself locked in the bathroom by accident. Or he gets lost and ends up in places he shouldn't be.
Like, thank God it's this moron who ended up in our secure zone where he doesn't get that the super dangerous files that contain their dastardly plans are Right There, and not someone like Batman because lol they'd be fucked. Now come back and rejoin the tour, Mr. Wayne, while we show you our Safe for Public Eyes cover projects. See, they're sparkly, just forget all about the super secret room. Lol, this guys so dumb, we're totally safe and Batman has no clue what we're going to do.
I see Batman fics all the time, but I want to see Brucie Wayne being a Himbo; Batman ducking into the Batmobile after taking out a Rouge and calling Lucius in Brucie Wayne's voice and saying sorry, can't come into the office, my kids dared me to try swinging off the chandelier and I broke my leg, so I'm not going to be in today; Bruce looking at his watch and thinking it's been 4 hours since he's done something dumb so he makes sure he gets caught being stuck in a room since he didn't pull when he should have pushed; Bruce waking up and deciding that he needs a day to be stupid after having to deal with the League, work off some of that frustration.
I just want Brucie Wayne fics, please.
Me too friend, me too.
Can't think of any right now but if anyone has any thoughts please add!
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rayshippouuchiha · 3 years ago
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Ok, I don't think most DC fics are your thing, but I was hoping your followers might know of some for me. I am CRAVING fics about Brucie Wayne. Either all Brucie or Brucie shows up in the fic.
For those who don't know what I mean, Everyone Knows in Gotham that Bruce (also known as Brucie) Wayne is dumb and sometimes gets himself locked in the bathroom by accident. Or he gets lost and ends up in places he shouldn't be.
Like, thank God it's this moron who ended up in our secure zone where he doesn't get that the super dangerous files that contain their dastardly plans are Right There, and not someone like Batman because lol they'd be fucked. Now come back and rejoin the tour, Mr. Wayne, while we show you our Safe for Public Eyes cover projects. See, they're sparkly, just forget all about the super secret room. Lol, this guys so dumb, we're totally safe and Batman has no clue what we're going to do.
I see Batman fics all the time, but I want to see Brucie Wayne being a Himbo; Batman ducking into the Batmobile after taking out a Rouge and calling Lucius in Brucie Wayne's voice and saying sorry, can't come into the office, my kids dared me to try swinging off the chandelier and I broke my leg, so I'm not going to be in today; Bruce looking at his watch and thinking it's been 4 hours since he's done something dumb so he makes sure he gets caught being stuck in a room since he didn't pull when he should have pushed; Bruce waking up and deciding that he needs a day to be stupid after having to deal with the League, work off some of that frustration.
I just want Brucie Wayne fics, please.
I'll absolutely put it out there babe
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ao3feed-brucewayne · 3 months ago
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Riddle me this Robin
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xTso39v by PrideQuest64 A new criminal has appeared in Gotham City, The Riddler has stalked local broadcasts all over the city and has threatened to unleash a new wave of terror. Red Robin alongside The Batman stands ready to foil these dastardly plans. But can Tim Drake focus on taking down this new villain whilst managing a budding romance? And what shall he do when these two worlds collide? Words: 1634, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Edward Nygma, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth Relationships: Tim Drake/Edward Nygma, Red Robin/The Riddler Additional Tags: Teen Romance, Teenage Dorks, Dorks in Love, Tired Tim Drake, Edward Nygma is the Riddler, Socially Awkward Edward Nygma, Gay Tim Drake, Gay Edward Nygma, Feelings Realization, Slow Build, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xTso39v
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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago
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Okay but imagine a Freaky Friday scenario back when Bruce and Dick were originally on the outs and Dick was with the Titans full time.
Something incredibly plot contrived happens and whammo, eighteen year old Dick wakes up in Bruce’s body with Jason just down the hall....still new to the Manor, filled to the brim with trust issues and other shit Dick can relate to and brings back memories of his early days in the Manor and how hard Bruce worked to make Dick feel comfortable there, thus priming Dick with Nostalgia thoughts and like, I miss THAT guy, where did that version of my dad go and is he still in there....
And additionally, when further contrived plot contrivances conspire with dastardly deeds that force Bruce and Dick to stay in each other’s bodies for like a week or two until they can change back, and like, cosplay as each other because they both have responsibilities that can’t be avoided....like, Dick is forced to temporarily act as Jason’s guardian and like.....there’s character development and personal realizations and building a connection based on common ground and shared experiences even if they aren’t perfectly parallel, much like Bruce built his connection with Dick based on the common ground that was the murder of their parents, and like.....opportunities for all the above are just ripe for the picking.
And meanwhile, Bruce wakes up in Dick’s body and is like.....wut. But being Bruce and having developed eighty million contingency plans even for off the wall hypothetical scenarios, he like, has a plan in case something like this ever happened.....and then he’s smacked in the face with the realization that coming up with an idea on how to deal with a situation you have no actual knowledge of or experience with is not like....a sturdy basis for assuming your approach will be any kind of effective at all. And so Bruce is forced to consult ACTUAL experts with this kind of shit, like Zatanna and Constantine and Dick’s own teammates Raven and Lilith, and grumpily acknowledges that the safest thing for them both is to wait this out and go about each other’s lives as much as possible, like Alfred and Jason and the Titans and the JLA are all in the know, its just....weird. 
And Bruce is uncomfortably aware that he’s surrounded by people who know Dick even better than him at this point, and who are not his biggest fans as a result....and then blow-ups have him trying to defend certain choices....only to realize that when faced with people who are not emotionally invested in a connection with him which they’re afraid to lose by pushing too hard....that like heeeeey, maybe certain choices were not as good as he made himself believe at the time. With this budding epiphany then nurtured by his growing awareness that he’s been treating this whole thing as an inconvenience, like its a waste of his time to be with the Titans when there’s REAL work he could be doing - only he just can’t convince himself of that anymore after being shoved into battle alongside them and seeing them in action from WITHIN their group....rather than looking down on them from a self-assumed pedestal of experience and greater wisdom.
Like, they know what they’re doing, they’re not the kids they started out as and hell, they knew what they were doing even THEN, that’s how they GOT to this point in the first place! They were never actively guided or trained as a TEAM by the older generation of heroes, and they’ve always had an entirely different dynamic with each other than they’ve had with their own individual mentors. And by watching them in action close up, seeing how well they gel and recognizing how much of their strategy and approach to things likely came from Dick sharing his own training with them just as they shared theirs with him and gave him insights and skills that even Bruce doesn’t have because it wasn’t Bruce who taught them to him...
Like, seeing how often they instinctively glance towards Dick for direction and the implicit trust in those gazes, as well as being forced to acknowledge how competently they roll with the reminder that it isn’t Dick and they have to coordinate for themselves because Bruce is the odd man out here no matter what face he’s wearing...
It’s like. Hmm. Epiphanies. They are happening.
And then you’ve got Bruce noticing how much they look out for each other - and him/Dick in particular because of how off balance he is at this time- so he additionally gains an understanding and appreciation of how Dick’s just as safe, if not more, with the Titans as he’s ever been at Batman’s side....
And then he gets a firsthand experience with The Chafing that comes from being smothered and overprotected by people who no matter how well-meaning or concerned they are for his - or well, just his body’s maybe, lol - safety, like, they seem to have no regard for him trying to remind them of his own competency and skills and how he can look out for himself. And since refusing to see or acknowledge that is half the basis for the conflicts that get between him building at least some kind of rapport with the Titans while stuck in this situation...well...
Again. There are. Hmm. Parallels perhaps. To his own relationship with his eldest son and their frequent conflicts.
And so opportunities abound for Bruce to be reminded just how skilled and capable - and needed and appreciated - his son is....as well as how Bruce being on the receiving end of various attitudes or views he’s expressed to Dick, like, might help make him abundantly aware of just how badly that’s probably been going over with Dick, like what all that must FEEL like to Dick and how it appears when viewed from his POV, and how all of that has contributed to the growing divide between them....and thus like, this might hopefully inspire him to like...not do that anymore. Ideally.
And then the plot contrivances wear off and they get shazamed back into their normal bodies and any attempt they might have made to pretend that never happened and just get back to normal is promptly slapped down by the others in their lives, who are just like, lol, no. We’re not doing that. This was weird, it happened, it was a whole thing, deal with it.
Forcing them to, y’know, deal with it. Helped along by some of Bruce’s Intimidation Quotient, such as it ever was, having worn off the Titans during his stay among them, so he starts getting bombarded with texts, calls, and speedster drop-ins like hey, didja adopt your son yet, Bats? How about talk to him. Did you do that at least? Did the word sorry come up at all? C’mon, we PRACTICED this.
Whereas Dick’s walk down Memory Lane via his time spent strolling through the halls he grew up in but from the POV of retracing Bruce’s decade old footsteps rather than his own - well, that did a lot to lower the drawbridge on the emotional barriers he’s built up to protect himself from further let-downs when it comes to his relationship with Bruce....helping to make him more amenable and receptive and optimistic about it being worth getting his hopes up one more time that the space between them can still be bridged.
Anyway. Just a random scenario I guess. Barely thought about it at all. 
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capstoverogers · 3 years ago
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A Soul for a Soul
Tryna break into the wlw Marvel tumblr fic world; consider this grief-ridden multi-chapter fic my resume ;)
Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/Black!Reader, Eventual Carol Danvers/Black!Reader
Genre: Grief, Angst, Romance
Summary: You thought you were used to the struggle. Between growing up as an orphan in Oakland before elbowing your way through the ranks of S.H.I.E.L.D., you were sure nothing could faze you.
But then you lose the love of your life and for the first time ever, you’re not sure how to move forward.
Notes: In this world, Peter Parker survived the Snap and S.H.I.E.L.D. still exists, just underground. Also features an OC with pyrokinetic abilities who’s the Reader’s best friend.
Chapter One - Hope
Word Count: 3,666
Warnings: Cursing, Allusions to Sex, Very Slight Ant-Man Slander, but Out of Love
In a lot of ways, the past five years had been quiet.
You’d grown up in Oakland, gone to college in Washington D.C., then lived and worked in New York ever since. You didn’t like quiet.
The biggest cities had lost their bustle, and it was one of the many reasons why you resented Thanos.
That and for taking the little bit of family you’d ever had. And the two men who were the closest things you had had to living brothers. And your absolute best friend in the world.
You coped in the way you always had - through work and through perspective. With Agents Fury and Hill gone in the snap, along with half of S.H.I.E.L.D. that had been underground after its public fall, you had moved through the ranks overnight (and you had been pretty high up there to begin with), taking over a great bulk of the remaining operations of the covert agency. Those first couple of years, you were in D.C. during the week days, watching as a fractured government slowly tried to repair itself while dispatching any leftover agents to take care of the chaos that had arisen in the aftermath. You’d go home to a pathetic one-bedroom apartment in the city most nights, it often being too late to commute to where you really wanted to be, get a few hours of sleep, then do it all over again.
It was all right. Kept you distracted. Made you feel purposeful.
It was the weekends, though, you found your truest solace. You’d put off all your responsibilities except in case of an emergency, take a quinjet up north to the Avengers compound, spend Saturday and Sunday with the woman you loved. Most of the time, you’d have the entire compound to yourselves. Maybe you didn’t like the quiet, but you loved it when it was quiet when you were with her.
After a few years, though, there was less for everyone to do as slowly, society started to move on. It was a blessing, you supposed, though sometimes it felt like a curse. You had never done well with idle hands.
It was slow enough that you could work remotely, at least, leaving your little D.C. apartment behind to take up permanent residence in upstate New York, except for emergencies. Natasha’s bedroom became y’all’s bedroom. You started to see just how broken she was, felt like a terrible partner for not realizing it sooner. She’d been able to mask it well when she’d only see you on weekends and through holograms. Now that you were together all the time, her walls couldn’t stay up for long.
Like the Avengers always had, she kept the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Far be it from you to convince her that she didn’t need to do that, but you at least wanted her to know that she could share that burden with you. To get her to realize that became your greatest mission.
And you never failed missions.
By the time you reached the five year mark, the two of you had fallen into the sort of routine you could see yourselves doing for the rest of your lives, if this really had to be the rest of your lives (you think both of you, deep down, had hope that it wasn’t, that something more could be done, which is why you two had tried your hardest to not stop working ever since half of the world disappeared before your eyes). Together you both kept watch over a broken world - Natasha by keeping in touch with the remaining Avengers and your new friends from space as you continued to run S.H.I.E.L.D. from the compound. Occasionally you’d go out for an actual mission, finding that you got cabin fever if you stayed put too long.
Natasha would never come with you, though. She was waiting for the right one, she told you. But you think she was just scared of what would happened if she took her eyes away from the world for even just one second. She’d let you carry a little bit of that weight with her, finally, but far from it all.
She was completely open with you, though, for the first time in the seven years you’d been together (dating a former assassin came with a huge set of emotional intimacy issues, but there was no one else you’d rather work through that with). And when you two realized that wow, you’d been together for seven years, you decided that you all could use a bright spot in this darker world.
So you had a bittersweet wedding. Peter Parker was your “man of honor”, Steve Rogers was hers. Tony presided at his beautiful cabin home with his daughter Morgan as the flower girl and Rocket - much to his outward chagrin though you suspected he secretly loved it - was your ring bearer with the vibranium wedding bands that Okoye had brought for you from Wakanda. You’d even gotten Thor out of his desolate mancave on New Asgard for the night, with the promise of all the beer he could drink.
It was hard not to think of all the people who should’ve been celebrating with you, but you’d at least found the burst of happiness that you could. Moments like that reminded you two that you still had to keep fighting, even if you didn’t quite know what for all the time.
About a month later, you left for a quick mission. You were gone for three days and came back to a bustle unlike any you’d seen at the Compound in years. There was a space ship parked out front, but more surprising was the sight of Tony’s Audi convertible.
Nat’s eyes looked the brightest you’d seen them in awhile, all pretenses shattered as she greeted you with an excited smile that was surprisingly adorable.
“So this is what you do when I’m gone?” You teased, wrapping your arms around her distractedly as you took in the energy around you. God, you had missed this sort of noise. “Throw parties?”
“You caught me,” she gave back, eyes twinkling before she wrapped her arms around you tightly, but in a way that didn’t feel desperate. It reminded you of how she’d hugged you throughout your wedding day. You let yourself fall completely into her embrace, burying your face into her neck and inhaling deeply. It had only been a few days, but you’d missed her so much. How you used to spend all week without her, you had no idea. “I think we found a way to reverse the snap.”
You yanked your head up so quickly that you almost gave yourself whiplash, playfully glaring when Natasha laughed. Her eyes were so warm with hope, though, that that was soon all you could focus on.
“What?!”
She nodded excitedly, squeezing your hips. Your mind immediately started reeling, unable to keep from imagining what this meant, who you’d be able to see again.
“How?!”
Natasha’s lips curled up into a little smirk, eyes still twinkling.
“Time travel.”
Wait.
“What?!”
-----
The compound was chaotic in the wonderful way that you cherished. Thor’s booming voice and Tony’s wisecracks and Steve’s voice of reason and Rhodey’s deadpan and Bruce’s reverberating Hulk-heavy footsteps and Rocket’s quips and Clint’s snark and Natasha’s sarcasm and laugh and sass and just everything about her that had been buried beneath the rubble of the last five years, coming out now more than in just moments. None of you slept as you all plotted, planned, built; a certain energizing spark taking over all of you in this renewed sense of purpose.
There was only enough of these “Pym particles” for ten people to do this time heist, though, which meant you were the odd one out.
“Maybe when you get powers, we’ll reconsider it,” Tony quipped when you complained, chuckling when you rolled your eyes.
“I could beat you up if you didn’t have that suit,” you gave back, smirking.
“She could,” Natasha echoed before he could get a word in, shooting you a grin as she came up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist.
Tony dramatically clutched at his chest.
“I’m offended you don’t think I’m more than my suit, Romanoff.” He paused. “Or is it (Y/L/N) now? Romanoff-(Y/L/N)?”
“Natasha and (Y/N) Widow, actually,” you joked, grinning as a laugh rippled through the Avengers. “Though I’m surprised you didn’t take Pepper’s last name, Tony. We all know she’s really the one running the show.”
You gave him your most dastardly grin as Rocket gave you a fist bump, Thor - perpetually buzzed - howled and Scott and Steve exchanged amused looks.
“See, this is why you’re not coming with us,” Tony said, pointing at you though he couldn’t quite hide his hint of a grin. “Today’s youth, so disrespectful!”
You let that go. You were in your 30s, but Tony always had a hard time not seeing you as that 22 year old first-year S.H.I.E.L.D. recruit he’d met over a decade ago.
So you chuckled, turning in Natasha’s arms in time to catch her fondly rolling her eyes.
“I will say, I’m gonna miss this banter on our mission.”
You wrapped your arms around her waist, as hers moved to your shoulder pulling her closer to you.
“Let me come with you and we won’t have to miss nothin’,” you said lowly, smirking at the way she eyed you.
“You know there’s no one I’d rather by my side,” she admitted softly, letting her fingers massage the back of your neck. You hummed pleasantly, letting your eyes flutter shut as your forehead fell against hers, “But I also like the idea of you here, safe.”
You sighed, not meaning for your breath to hit her lips, but enjoying the feel of her tensing against you nonetheless.
“I might not be a super solider or some guy with …ant powers…” you grinned when Natasha chuckled, “but I can hold my own, Nat.”
“I know you can,” she murmured. “But I’d rather know I’m coming back to you than be worried about you out there.”
You opened your eyes, found them staring into earnest and soft green irises. You could see how important this was for her, doing something that felt tangible after spending so much time and energy over the years to keep the world going, never losing hope even when no one else believed.
This mission would always mean more to her than it ever would for you.
So you nodded, craning your head to place a kiss on her forehead.
“I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”
She smiled, “I know.”
“Get a room, why don’t ya!”
“Shut up, Rocket.”
Hours before they were set to leave back in time, you got a call from Peter Parker saying he desperately needed you to pick him up as soon as possible from Central America, which was strange because the last time you’d checked, you’d sent him on an undercover mission to check out some disturbances in Europe (as the only Avenger whose true identity was still secret, he was most ideal to send on these sorts of things).
It did sound urgent, though, so you quickly headed to your room to change into something more extraction appropriate, unsurprised to hear the door open a few minutes later.
“Oh good,” Natasha’s voice purred playfully behind you as you pulled off the shirt you’d been lounging in. “I was hoping I’d catch you before you got all your mission clothes on.”
You chuckled as you turned to face her, then faltered. Though there was a coy smirk playing at her plump lips, her eyes told an entirely different story. You motioned for her to come closer, trying to keep the spirit high.
“Quickie before I leave?” You joked, sitting back on the bed as she came to stand in between your legs. She laughed, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes as they flickered over you before she gently placed her palm on your cheek.
“Will you be back before we go?” She asked softly.
You shook my head, your frowns matching.
“Even if it is just a pick-up and go, the round trip will take four hours.”
“I’ll see if we can wait on you.”
As much as you wanted that, you found yourself shaking your head again.
“I don’t want anything to throw y’all off,” you told her, covering the hand on your face with your own. “This is too important.”
She nodded; if there was anything you both understood, it was that some things were more important than the two of you. The fate of the world was definitely one of those things, and all the lives that hung in balance. It’s what made you heroes, before anything else.
It’s also what made you and Natasha fit together so well. You understood each other in ways that no one else could.
“I’ll see you when you get back, though,” you assured with a soft smile, grasping at her waist to pull her into your lap. She straddled you like it was second nature, though it didn’t necessary feel immediately sexual. You just liked that she was close. “After you’ve gotten that stone and you’re about to bring everybody back.”
She grinned, “You really think we can do it, huh?”
“You can do anything, Nat. You’re my fucking hero. There’s no one I trust more to save all of us.” You let my fingertips trace gently down her cheek as her eyes softened lovingly. “Don’t tell Rocket or Tony I said that. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.”
“Nope. Been recording this conversation the entire time. Gonna share it with everyone.”
You laughed as she grinned slyly.
“I hate you,” you mumbled, your thumb grazing against her bottom lip.
“I love you,” she gently pressed a kiss against the pad of your thumb. “Don’t tell anyone how soft you make me, though.”
“Oh, they already know,” you teased quietly, relishing in the way she made your heart feel. You were so close to telling Peter to find his own ride, not wanting this moment to end, but you knew you and Natasha would have to pull away eventually.
Still, you could make it stretch as long as possible.
“Yeah,” Nat agreed softly, pressing her forehead against yours. “But I like to pretend that they don’t.”
You chuckled as she grinned cheekily.
“I love you too, by the way,” you murmured, as if she didn’t already know. “So fucking much.”
Your thumb drifted from her lip, down to her chin, and forever in tune, she quickly erased the distance between you before you could pull her closer. Seven years, and you had yet to find anything as incredible as kissing her.
Except maybe when after just a few seconds, she pushed you back onto the bed, hovering over you with a twinkling smirk.
“Change your mind about that quickie?” You said playfully, biting your lip at her husky, soft laugh.
“Don’t you have to give a certain spider a ride?” She teased, as if she wasn’t the one who’d pressed her chest delicately against yours.
“There’s another spider that I’d rather give a different kind of ride right now…” Your fingers drifted down to the hem of her pants, but she was off of you before you could start to shimmy them down. You pouted ridiculously as she stood up, earning a laugh.
“We’ll have our own celebration in here when we’re both back,” she said coyly with a wink.
“Good, because we’ve only fucked once since I’ve gotten back from my mission, and it’s making me irritable.”
She chuckled as she grabbed ahold of your hands, effortlessly pulling you up off the bed and back into her arms.
“I love you,” she said again, pressing her lips against yours for a long moment. The words felt more weighted than they usually did, in the way they seemed to seep into your skin, take ahold of your chest and clench your heart. You could feel that this moment was important.
“I love you, too, Nat.”
On your way out, you were intercepted by Clint, who gave you a wry grin as he glanced down to your left hand.
“So I heard you and Nat got hitched,” he said, his eyes a soft contrast to his casual tone. “Wish I could’ve been there.”
“Me too,” you said honestly. Clint and you had never been particularly close, but he was still family, and he meant so much to Natasha. “Steve had to be Nat’s best man, and it was disaster.”
Steve had actually been great, but you knew Clint would get a kick out of the idea of Captain America stiff by the altar, uncomfortable in the face of any kind of public display of affection, as far from the truth it actually was. There was something appreciative in his eyes as he laughed.
“Well, I got dibs when you guys renew your vows.”
You nodded fervently, “Definitely. Maybe once y’all bring everyone back, we’ll do a bigger wedding. I mean, Nat would hate that - “
You paused, then burst out laughing because Clint had said the same thing at the exact same time as you had, and it made you kind of regretful that you hadn’t thought to bond with him more before Thanos had snapped his fingers. But you supposed there was time for that.
Your and Clint’s laughter faded, and both of you hovered there for a moment. Before it could get too awkward, you gave him a soft smile.
“Take care of my girl, Barton.” He and Nat were paired up for the time heist, after all.
He nodded, corner of his lips curling up into a smile that you knew was sincere for him.
“She’s probably gonna be the one having to take care of me,” he joked, but then his eyes softened. “You know I’ll do everything I can to have her back.”
“I know.”
Still, you felt a little uneasy as you headed towards the hangar where the quinjets were kept. You didn’t like being away from home base while they were out on missions. It had always been like that, even before you were with Nat. The fact that she was your wife now intensified it. You really wanted to be there when she got back.
But alas, duty called.
-----
You were thrust into battle without a moment’s notice, when Doctor Strange’s portal appeared in the back of the quinjet just seconds after you had yanked Peter out of the Mexican rainforest as he ran from a bunch of cartel guys, wielding assault rifles and screaming “gringo!” at him.
He was in the middle of an adorable, earnest, apologetic ramble (one that would always be so Peter, even if he was less boy and more man these days) after you’d playfully accused him of being racist because he made you rescue his “white ass.” He’d be trying to tell you that he’d deviated from the mission you’d given him because he’d heard rumors of something akin to the power of an Infinity Stone buried deep in Central America. He knew you’d never authorize him to go after a rumor, so he took matters into his own hands (also very Peter, and it would be hypocritical for you to fault him for that), hoping to find a power source that could maybe reverse the damage that Thanos had done.
Not that it was necessary now. The Avengers had done it. Nat had done. Everyone was back, but apparently somehow that meant a resurgence of Thanos had come with them.
There were no time for questions, though, even though you had so many as you found myself in the rubbled remains of your home with an alien army before you and a homegrown one behind you. There was no time for proper reunions, even though you managed the quickest one when you came across your best friend Zoey on the battlefield - body engulfed in the trademark flames that defined her alter ego "The Flame" - and you two clicked right into place as you set her up perfectly to sizzle one of Thanos’s goons to ash, like no time had ever passed.
You guessed for her, though, no time really had passed.
There was a quick grin and nod before chaos descended again, and you were separated into different parts of the battle. There was a glimpse of T’Challa, carrying an Iron Man glove full of jewels - the Infinity Stones, you realized - across the leveled field - and Sam soaring above you, and Bucky firing shots into the enemy relentlessly, but there was no time to focus on any of this.
There was no time for you to find Natasha in the cacophony, as you forced yourself to focus fully on the battle in front of you. When you all had finished off Thanos once and for all, then you could hold her in your arms until the end of time if you wanted. But first you all had to make sure there was still a world for everyone to still live in.
There wasn’t even time to properly celebrate, as Thanos and his entire army dissipated into dust in the perfect full circle, when Tony slumped over, eyes glazed, his light gone. There was Peter’s full weight against you suddenly, his wet eyes drenching your neck, then Steve’s strong arms around both of you. like an anchor.  You couldn’t help but think that Steve’s gesture was more than just a comfort gesture because everyone had just lost the man who had brought you all together, who meant so much to each of you in different ways.
You didn’t want to confront what else it could mean, though.
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