#British humour

[benoits-neckerchieves]

Just found Hugh Grant’s Reddit AMA from 2014, featuring such gems as “I love to kill” and “I will pour almost anything down my throat”

Source: Hugh Grant Reddit AMA

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

The Deadpool variant with the flag of Wales on their chest is even funnier when you realize Welshpool is an actual place in Wales.

[toruandmidori]

Whenever the time comes, whether it’s a summer election, a winter election, a hard election or a red white and blue election… we’re staying on message - FUCK THE TORIES.

Send some gentle, sticky reminders ahead of the general election with our range of cute, funny and furious anti conservative party stickers. 

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FUCK THE TORIES

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IN THIS HOUSE WE HATE TORY BASTARDS

[sarcasticchaosbitch]

Rudy, who's been practicing his tea-making skills: I'm making you tea, and you'll drink it whether you want it or not!

Every single Brit in the surrounding area: *horrified gasps*

[wearedeadfancy]

[little-worm-grant]

Moonboys: Top Notch Banter

Marc Spector & Steven Grant

404 words / Masterlist.

If you like what you see, leave a like or reblog and follow me ♥

Summary: Steven's all fired up and trying to explain British things to Marc. All of this is complete nonsense and none of it should be taken seriously.

Notes: Inspired by this post. Was funny to me it ended up being 404 words.

Marc was ready to pull his hair out. Staring forlornly back towards the reflection where his counterpart had been driving him crazy for the better part of a day.

They’d argued earlier and Steven decided there was no peace to be had. He chose violence, though nothing like Marc or Jake’s. Talking to himself mostly. Rambling, rambling, rambling. All in the constant vicinity of Marc. Making it near impossible to concentrate. If he couldn’t beat it. He tried joining it.

“But what does cheeky Nando's mean?? It has to have a meaning.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. He was verging on losing his own sanity.

“Mate it’s hard to explain.” Steven started with a disappointed sigh. “It’s just like one day you’ll just be with your mates having a look in JD.”

“… right.” Marc answered. Finding none of it right. He really was trying to follow along. Steven continued on with little breath between his strung-together words of gibberish.

“And you might fancy curry club at the ‘Spoons but your lad Calum, who’s an absolute ledge and the Archbishop of Banterbury will be like, ‘Brevs, let’s have a cheeky Nando's instead.’ And you’ll think ‘Top. Let’s smash it.’”

Hand rubbing over his face to comprehend this level of fuckery. Marc stared for the longest time.

“What are you saying?? You’re not even British? Have you picked this up off the internet?”

“Oi! You wot. Don’t say that. I’ll have you.” Steven pointed his finger up threateningly. “I’ll clap your ears together, I swear on me mum.”

Marc inhaled longingly for a moment of peace. Head tilting back to stare at the ceiling. It was either he put up with this for another hour or say what he’d been meaning to say.

“Alright. Fine. I really can’t listen to you anymore. I’m sorry I ate the last Oreo.”

“Too right! I knew it was you! Knobhead. What’re you like?”

“Did you even know half the shit you were talking about?”

“Course! JD’s a shop you have a gander in. And everyone knows ‘Spoons. Solid place if you fancy a pint in the beer garden. Even if it tastes like piss.”

“Okay?”

And still, somehow, none of it was okay for Marc.

“Gotta love a cheeky Nando’s when the occasion calls for it. Just don’t invite any ledges or Archbishops of Banterbury unless you wanna get wankered.”

“Steven. I’m begging you, please. Forget I ever asked.”

[lostinfogagain]

now to play my favourite game: is he english? (Emotionally repressed) Or autistic? (expresses emotion unconventionally) or perhaps both?

this is who I’m thinking of as I write this

[horygory]

Monty Python's Flying Circus, S3E7 (1972)

[multitraveler]

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[roseburning]

What's the difference between Harry Potter Books VS Movies? You may ask

✨The Pettiness ✨

I may answer.

[reallyunluckyrunaway]

This is exactly how it played out...

[bitter69uk]

BOTD: much-loved British comedic actress Mollie Sugden (née Mary Isobel Sugden, 21 July 1922 – 1 July 2009) – best remembered, of course, as pastel-haired Mrs Slocombe in the sitcom Are You Being Served? Insert your own pussy joke!

[reniadeb]

so you're telling me that the pottery barn is not really a barn???

[toruandmidori]

[arriettyspin]

This is how I anticipate Autumn every single year:

But I live in the UK so the reality is more like this:

BRO I'M SO SICK OF THIS FREEZING WIND AND COLD MUD I CAN'T BE COMING HOME FROM UNIVERSITY EVERY DAY WITH MY SHOES DRENCHED