#Bitterness

[glittergroovy]

[ae-cha08]

In the Bible, Joseph was betrayed and sold into slavery by his own brothers, then falsely accused and put in prison. He could have used excuse after excuse to be bitter and angry, but he had a "no excuses" mentality. He kept doing the right thing when the wrong thing was happening. And in the end, he came out vindicated, promoted, and in a place of influence and respect.

Let go of the hurts, offenses, and wounds of the past. Declare that they have no power over you. 💙

[thewordfortheday]

See to it that…no bitter root grows up to cause trouble. Hebrews 12:5 

A bitter heart harbours hostility. When someone is bitter, the bitterness takes root in the heart and grows deeper. They have not dealt with an old hurt. A bitter person is hypersensitive and critical. Bitterness affects us physically, emotionally, and spiritually because the root of bitterness will steal your happiness, joy and peace. How do we get over it? By the grace of God, we need to ask God to fill our hearts with forgiveness and love. It is so worth it when you forgive. But, you say, "You don't know what they've done!” But realize that they are not miserable, you are! You will discover that your life is more joyful when you uproot your bitterness. When you forgive, you set two people free and one of them is yourself.

[marydarkblacknoir]

And you became like the coffee,

In the deliciousness,

and the bitterness

and the addiction.

Mahmoud Darwish

[etteraths]

[nobeerreviews]

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.

-- Colette

(Cluj, Romania)

[stoicmike]

Putting some sugar on your bitterness doesn't make it any sweeter. -- Michael Lipsey

[picklebunbun]

જ⁀➴₊⊹ 🎀 dazai x male! reader

๋࣭ ⭑

velvet ring

big thief ♥︎

⇄ ◁◁ I I ▷▷ ↻

⁰⁰ ²⁵ ━━●━━━━━━━━ ⁰² ⁰⁸

๋࣭ ⭑

⟢ male! reader, can be read as trans or cis, masculine pronouns

⟢ genre: angst, like MAJOR angst, bittersweet? ending {up to your interpenetration}, so a bit of fluff

⟢ cw: implied homophobia, verbally fighting, crying, self deprecation, dazai isn’t good at communicating, implied su1cide and maybe OOC

⟢ fandom: BSD

⟢ romantic, dazai and [name] are engaged in this

summary: major fight happened between dazai and his fiancée, about him not outwardly expressing his feelings, [name] feels like he’s walking on eggshells around him. Dazai comforts [name] while he’s bawling his eyes out, everything is okay after that

[angel’s note👼🪽: taking a break from the usual requests because I really wanted to do bsd, sorry, also, this is based off my oc with dazai (I made them have marital problems) I wanted to do very angsty stuff too]

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒

it was the dead of night, only darkness filled the room, the loud silence of the couple only made the somber attitude worse.

there were days like this were they wouldn’t talk to each other, usually it was after a fight, but not this time. What else could they talk about though? It wasn’t unknown that Dazai could read you like an open book, his intellect was truly terrifying. As for you, it’s hard to talk with your partner when they won’t communicate with you

it often made you sad though, Dazai had no problems talking about himself to his friends, or anyone. The most frustrating part is that he makes light of it whenever you try and talk about it with him. Were things just different when you’re engaged? Maybe he was just on edge because you were both men , but Dazai didn’t seem like the type to care about those things. Maybe it was just you, you did always feel a bit insecure just by being with his fiancée, Dazai was certainly known to be a “playboy”. Being engaged should mean that he ultimately chose you right? I mean, sure, they legally can’t get married but they were basically at that stage

it just made everything so frustrating all the time, how can you expect a healthy relationship without communication?! That’s like a key component of a relationship!

“..hey, [name], are you awake..?”

“….yeah.. I can’t sleep”

“me either.. c’mere for a second”

you looked at him ,confused, until Dazai lazily wrapped his arms around you and you got the idea. The {h/c}-ette hugged him as well, it was pretty easy to tell if Dazai wanted to cuddle. It just felt weird, almost as if he was cuddling with a stranger, or at least that’s what it felt like. Dazai used to say how you had this overwhelming warmth about you, you’re not quite sure if he still thought that now, it was okay I guess, it’s not like you needed the constant praising.

it was a beautiful night though, the last quarter moon illuminated the deepest of shadows in the room, although, it could never hide the amount of darkness around you and Dazai. Even while being wrapped around eachother, you know deep down that you couldn’t feel warmth in this relationship, but little moments like this were nice.

Whenever the moon was half lit, or more specifically, the 3rd quarter moon was when Dazai most liked it , when you asked “why? Why not when it’s fully lit or fully dark?”, Dazai always said the same thing “it’s like how Wednesdays are halfway through the week, the last quarter moon gives me hope for another month, just waiting for a break so I can relax”. Sometimes his messages were so cryptic, you could never really tell if he was going to do something to seriously harm himself or he just says things cause of how meaningful he thinks they are.

Dazai went rambling on about his day at work, you listened, but there was something at the back of your mind. You figured to tell him in the morning, for now, it was time to shut your eyes, there was no point in staying awake now since you could hear the soft snoring that was Dazai’s slumber.

-𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“well, I’m off to work! Bye, my love!”

“wait, Dazai… can I ask you something?”

Dazai turned around, he knew what was about to come, whenever you two fought you set off like a firecracker, completely blinded by how you were feeling, it’s entirely justified too. Usually, Dazai would’ve thought about this in advance, but what could he really say? Expressing himself seriously was not an option, so he’d just have to deal with your red hot anger.

“hm..?”

“do.. you.. hate me?”

“w-what?! Of course not! I could never hate you, I’m engaged to you! How could you think that?”

“you just never talk to me, you talk more to your co-workers than you’re own fiancée!”

“maybe I should get married to them instead them, heh..”

he tried to make a joke, you did not like that

“are you kidding me?! You’re joking about this? Dazai! This isn’t funny! I’m tired of you not talking to me!”

“woah, okay, calm do-“

“HOW THE HELL CAN I CALM DOWN? IT’S LIKE I’M LIVING WITH SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW, YOU DON’T TELL ME ANYTHING!”

“oh, I don’t know [name]! You’re screaming in my face right now, maybe that’s why!”

“THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE HEARD BY YOU, DON’T YOU THINK THAT’S A BIT WEIRD, I HAVE TO SCREAM AT MY FIANCÉE BECAUSE HE JUST WON’T LISTEN.”

“YOU NEVER LET ME TALK, YOU JUST TURN IT INTO A BIG ARGUMENT.”

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT ANYWAYS? YOU NEVER TALK TO ME, I BARELY EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR FAVORITE DRINK IS, I HAD TO HEAR IT FROM ATSUSHI, ARE YOU KIDDING ME.”

your eyes were getting cloudier by the second, it was frustrating talking to him. Your throat felt like there was a lump of air stuck in the middle, your eyes hurt from the stinging tears that were forming. Your voice was cracking as you felt yourself about to break down

“IS THIS IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT? THE FACT THAT I CAN’T COMMUNICATE?! YOU’VE BEEN GOING FOR MY THROAT FOR THAT?!”

“I-I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU FOR MONTHS.. you never listen.”

“well, you ju- woah woah woah, [name]..?”

you broke out into violent sobs, you couldn’t keep on fighting, it was so exhausting just screaming all the time.

“hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down.. why did you suddenly start crying?”

when he asked you, you couldn’t stop weeping even more, everything was just building up and then you just let it all out. You were holding your chest while you cried, it felt like you just got a heart attack, well, at least that’s what it felt like, really, your heart was just shattered like it meant nothing to Dazai. He loved you, your sure he does, but lately it just feels like the more distant he seems, the more distant his loving embrace feels, the more colder it feels when he says “I love you”, like he’s forced to say it.

finally, your teary screams were reduced to nothing more than quiet sniffles, an occasional whimper here and there. You seemed composed enough to form a complete sentence, so Dazai asked you, in the softest tone he has

“why were you crying..?”

“…”

you looked at him, your eyes were wet and so were your cheeks, a red gradient formed around your eyes and nose from wailing so much. You looked around, not wanting to see his face, avoiding any eye contact. The room was so hushed, you could hear the pitter -patter of a bug if you wanted too. It’s no use, he probably wouldn’t leave until you told him.

“.. sometimes I feel like you don’t care about me enough to talk about your feelings, I just wish you would talk to me instead of making jokes, it makes me feel humiliated, like my feelings don’t matter, and then you get mad and argue with me when I don’t know how you feel!”

Dazai stayed silent, not knowing what to say, or even what to think.

“is that it? You’re not going to speak to me?”

silence again

“..okay, I’m just going to get some fresh air..”

the door slammed closed, Dazai was left there to soak in his own feelings. Honestly, the arguments before seemed minuscule compared to this one. He wasn’t a sensitive man, but everything felt so overwhelming, he couldn’t help but feel teardrops staining his cheeks. Dazai always took advantage of the relationship, ignoring your previous arguments, but now if he kept this up, he would lose you, and he’d have no one again.

-𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

cricket, cricket, cricket

that’s all you hear at night. At first, Dazai would keep you up with useless conversations about philosophy, to which you lightly punch his elbow, but now it just felt so lonely. Back to back, not looking at each other, laying in bed, you could never face each other after that, you’d have to deal with it tomorrow, but right now, you’re just tired of everything

[bebemoon]

“i will destroy and ruin everything” [medea]

[thepersonalwords]

Beware of those who speak negatively about everything and everybody. A negative person will never say a positive thing about you.

Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

[glittergroovy]

[ae-cha08]

When you truly Love Jesus and spend time in Prayer and the Word, the way you Love people changes. You'll become patient and compassionate towards them and you'll start seeing them through the eyes of God.

Only then, it is possible to Love a person unconditionally.

[writethestory365]

To be a Christian is to forgive the inexcusable, because God has excused the inexcusable in you.

- C.S. Lewis

[unsolicitedadvicecatlady]

How do we let go of bitterness?

Bitterness at first is not a response, it is a reality that must be faced. Ignoring that reality is not an antidote to bitterness of the heart and of life, it is an accelerant.

Let's create environments where we are invited to verbalize the bitterness of our circumstances in the safety of a caring presence, to be honest about the bitter events in our lives, and to prepare our minds and our hearts to find a new level of sweet trust in life.

Admittedly, we cannot handle life on our own and we all need guidance from time to time. No person is an island. When we feel safe to speak openly and honestly with others, we have an opportunity to turn our bitterness into sweetness.

We often become bitter when our thoughts go from "it would be nice to have..." to "I must have... and I won't enjoy life until I have it."

What does it me to enjoy? It means to give joy to something, doesn't it? Are you bringing more joy into your life, or are you bringing more bitterness?

Honestly ask, "If I got everything I want right now, am I ready to receive it?" If you get what you want but you're not ready for it, is it a blessing or a curse?

[complicatedconstellation-blog]

[natalia-hart123]

on leaving your hometown

paul revere -noah kahan / buzzcut season - lorde / ketchum id - boygenius / scott street - phoebe bridgers / my tears ricochet - taylor swift / all imagines came from pinterest