#Binge log

[thechubbyseal]

Went out for dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his father. I ate too much but surprisingly I left half of the steak and lounged at the grilled veggies on the table. It wasn't a bing3 because I was actively monitoring how much I ate (not so much what I drank, 3 ½ glasses of red wine is a lot of empty calories).

I don't know exactly how to feel about it?

[monofazz]

I'm just glad to learn I'm not the only one.

[ghost-bxrd]

-ore I cannot agree with the proposed hypothesis on swarm behavior amongst mer species. Too little is known of how the frequencies of the sounds tentatively dubbed as “siren song” affect the human nervous system. And nothing at all suggests that mer are similarly affected by this frequency as humans.

Lamentations therefore seem to be an occurrence not only dictated by the sirens themselves, but also by the various congregating mer species that may gather at the site without attacking one another, despite being natural enemies.

Sirens may-

File Notes:

Recovered physical fragment on the refutation of swarm behavior in mer species, as well as several hypotheses on the effect of Siren Song on the human brain. See data file 3184 for full version. Researcher: [REDACTED], status: deceased

[tooth-butter]

me when I binged but my mum saw me and went “oh thank god, I was worrying that you don’t eat enough” maybe binges have blessings sometimes

[intermundia]

so the answer to the question "heyy why haven't you been writing?" is that i've been too busy doing art therapy, and uh i may've gone overboard with the art therapy? how much art therapy is too much art therapy? regardless 😅 i hope to be writing again soon

[itszz-alright]

Nothing is fucking working I’m more into binging than fasting and idk what to do anymore

I can’t go a day without binging

[tiny0tter]

I DESPERATELY NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK!!!!

For a while now i stopped counting calories and just eating "normally", luckily I didn't gain but I feel fatter and fatter each day.

I just wish I could do this properly ;-;

[o0jess0o]

Hey guys sorry for being inactive but here’s something I wrote, idk

yes, eating was nice and it was a good

dopamine hit but if I waited and didn’t

eat for a day then the dopamine hit from

being skinny the next morning was much

better. Then after a little bit you kind

of get addicted to that feeling of

hunger and emptiness and as soon as you

eat you want to undo it and go back to

the empty ness before. Its slowly become

a want to feel skinny to this desperate

craving to feel ill and empty because in

a strange way it’s fulfilling. It’s not

just about skinniness that’s an added

bonus it’s more about accomplishment

it’s obsessive and compulsive but in

this indescribably satisfying way it’s

like I know it’s evil and I kind of love

it.

[sk1nandb0n3s4life]

Hi

Instead of posting every time I start a f@st, I think that I’ll make a post after I got past 65hrs. This is just because I break my f@st a lot, like I did today. I’d really appreciate if people could send me meanspo and a lot of tips as I b!nge a lot.

Thanks 💕

[ssstarlighttt]

question for my non jet lag mutuals, idk how many of you there are. one of these three men is banned from the art institute of chicago. guess which one

[drowning-rat73]

87 Hours into my fast

Tw-drv9s and E|) below the cut

Watching “starving in suburbia” to distract myself. After 24hrs I wasn’t hungry at all but thats also bcuz I’m pretty much always h19h when I’m not at work lol. Aiming for 120hrs then I’m gonna only eat vegetables for three days (carrots, broccoli, corn and lettuces). My weigh in is tomorrow and hopefully i will have lost the 1.9kg i gained, if not i will extend my fast even longer. I can’t take being in my skin anymore and my 🔌 is on holiday atm so i only have what i have which is absolutely terrifying. I know i can pull through it but it doesn’t stop me being anxious that without i might binge or something. Gonna have to “meal prep” with my p1lls and p0wd3r lmao

[thechubbyseal]

I left my waitress job because the hours were not worth the pay and the people were awful. I was to the point of having anxiety attacks to the thought of coming back. The fact that I did 15km at service and ate nothing if not some bread occasionally was a plus and I will miss it, I need to focus more on home workouts. I need someone to keep me accountable and cheer me up. ~~~

[paintedscales]

Sightseeing Log entry #38 :: The Lancers' Guild

"We passed the Lancers' Guild during our stay in Gridania. I pointed it out to Estinien, recollecting my first handful of moons residing in Eorzea. Told him how I was made to enroll into one of the more combat- or healing-oriented guilds. I also told him in jest that I supposed I should swing by with him and thank Guildmaster Ywain for essentially being the reason I ended up meeting him."

Extras:

[mini-uzzy]

RAAAAHHH RAAAAHHHHHH!!!

[cherie-wine]

My mom told me to eat, like it's that easy.

[thefirstknife]

Lightfall quest is also really good. Seems to be something that will go on for a bit, I think, since the point was to get Golden Age files and we heard only one file. Osiris said there's more but that he needs time to decrypt them.

Files are Chioma Esi's logs! She is a voiced character now! Massive win for the lesbians. Osiris also directly mentions her having a wife, just in case there are people who wanted to be in denial until now.

But before that, really interesting dialogue between Nimbus and Osiris towards the end of the quest. I'll transcribe it and add a link to the video later when it gets uploaded by Destiny Lore Vault:

Nimbus: You know, ever since we defeated Calus, I've been wondering a lot more about the Veil. I think... I think we take it for granted. It's always been here. We always assumed that the Ishtar Collective brought it with them on the Exodus ship, but... Osiris: But now you question that assumption. Nimbus: Nezarec seemed to know something, didn't he? When we were inside the Vex network, he said something about... Savathun. Osiris: My memories cast shadows of Savathun's. Echoes of the time she and I were bound by her dark magic. The more time we spend here, the clearer the outline of those shadows become. The Ishtar Collective didn't bring the Veil here, Nimbus. Savathun stole it from the Witness and left it here... quite possibly for the Ishtar Collective to find. Nimbus: Why? Why would she do that? Isn't she our enemy? Osiris: She is. And yet, at times, she is our ally... when it is convenient to her, and in that convenience, we find common ground. Or as a friend once said, the line between Light and Dark... is very thin. Nimbus: [grunts] I kinda hate that. Osiris: As do I.

That's really good information and an interesting angle to understand the Veil situation better. First, Neomuni clearly don't even know how the Veil got there. They either assumed (as Nimbus said) that it was brought by the founders or perhaps the founders told everyone they did so, to keep the situation in control. It's easier to build a civilisation on this power if you tell people you brought that power here, rather than telling them that an alien entity placed it there during the time when alien entities were destroying the solar system.

But outside of that, ever since that time, people took it for granted, as Nimbus put it. They didn't really question it or wonder about it. The Veil is there, it's powering Neomuna, it was brought by the founders to make the civilisation, that's it. There's nothing really to wonder about for the average citizen. Not to say that they don't care about it, but they don't view it as something that has to be explained or pondered. As I've said before, the Veil to the Neomuni is a power source. They're not into it because of strange paracausal powers or whatever the hell is going on with it and the Witness. It's nice to see that reading was the intended one; to Neomuni, the Veil is a power source and one that is taken for granted aka isn't being actively researched. Meaning, they can't answer our questions about what the Veil is.

And now transcript of Chioma's first log (very VERY likely that more will be coming throughout the season, maybe on a weekly basis? They wouldn't voice her for one message is my main assurance). The log is accessed in the big room overlooking the Veil:

The log transcript (link):

Chioma Esi, personal log: incidental. Maya arrived yesterday with the Exodus Indigo. I should be relieved, but... in light of the current situation, I... I don't feel much of anything. We're presently en route from Hyperion to the terraformed surface of Neptune. I'm scared. I'm so scared! We don't even know what we've lost. Comms are dead. It's just silence everywhere. We might be all that's left. Maya was right about everything. The cult, the end... how we'll survive. [sighs] I hate this.

Some interesting points right away! Hyperion has been long established as a place where Chioma Esi was working. This is also giving us the Exodus Indigo route: Maya was on the colony ship which made a stop at Hyperion to pick up Chioma (and possibly other people). Shortly after they left Hyperion, the events of Winterbite lore happened where the colony ship was attacked by an unknown entity which left Winterbite in the hull.

Another neat point is that Chioma mentioned that a part of Neptune's surface was already terraformed. This gives us some crucial details; Exodus Indigo was going to Neptune on purpose and didn't just have to land there as an emergency escape. Going there was deliberate which also makes sense given that previously an ECHO ship crashed on Neptune. This makes it's more likely that Maya knew about the ECHO ship crash and about Soteria's possible survival and that Exodus Indigo followed that trail deliberately. The mention of surface being terraformed already also means that the colony was well underway of being established following the ECHO ship crash. Neptune was being hard-prepared to fit a colony.

This also means that Exodus Indigo was most likely a very well known mission and that Neomuna was not originally planned as something secret. They only went dark after making an assumption that they may be the only ones who survived the Collapse, which Chioma mentions in this log! Comms went silent and they had no idea what was going on; if they wanted to ensure the survival of the human species, they had to also assume that they're the only ones left and hide.

Chioma also mentions that "Maya was right about everything." She specifically mentions "the cult" which is Future War Cult, founded by Maya in the Golden Age. FWC was investigating something called the Device, a Vex-tech based machine capable of predicting the future. The cult would eventually regain access to the Device and use it well into the present day for the same purpose. Chioma also mentions "the end" as she muses about Maya being right about everything. Strange and possibly concerning. What exactly did Maya see through the Device?

This is some wild stuff, especially to me now after I've made a really long post about some curious connections between the concept of the history and mind of the universe and how it tends to be adjacent to Vex predictive technology. I mentioned Maya, Future War Cult and the Device in this post as well, trying to see if there's anything worth connecting in an analysis. Chioma alluding to the cult again the first time we've ever heard her voiced is intriguing. I'm not sure if this is something that will continue to be explored and if these connections are important, but it definitely felt like an important point to add into this fairly short voice line that specifies about Maya having been right "about everything," "the cult" and "the end."

I'm really excited to see if we'll get more and I assume we will. Osiris was very direct about us having to protect these logs and that there's a lot of them, but that he will have to decrypt them first. If we genuinely get more logs, it will be an incredible treat to hear actual voices from the Golden Age and the Collapse, of people who founded Neomuna and their first encounters with the Veil and possibly their original research into it.