#Be a good boy and stay still for me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
2jihiir0 · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
“You sure your daddy allowed you to get this?”
Tumblr media
🪡🖤
Let’s just say Steve goes to the local sleazy drug dealer because he’s also the only “piercer” in town. (Not really licensed but you know) Steve really wants to get a nipple piercing because he heard from his friends that girls dig it and it looks sexy. He’s nervous but something about Eddie lures him in.
623 notes · View notes
egophiliac · 2 months ago
Note
I have a question about the jp server pickups, since I really want knight Sebek, but I’m trying to save gems for bloom malleus + the 3rd tsum event that’s gonna show up sooner or later. Iirc, after knight Sebek, the next story update’s pickup had all of the previous story cards (ie cerberus Ortho, general Lilia, and knight Sebek). Is this true, and if it is, did it include a token system like the dorm pickups where you can just do 100 pulls and then buy the specific card you want directly? Because if that is how it works, then I can wait until then and be sure I won’t have to go to 200 for him.
we did indeed get a second chance at those three when 7-7 came out! I'm pretty sure there was not a token system -- though admittedly I don't 100% remember, sorry! 🙇 I took a quick search through some past posts/videos from people who tend to include the gacha and news stuff, but I didn't see any mention of it, so I'm inclined to think there really wasn't one. :( they were all separate pickups with their own pull counts rather than a combined one, if that info helps at all.
speaking as a strict f2p who hoards keys/gems like the lovechild of a dragon and a magpie, given the choice between saving for a story card and a birthday card, I'd go for story -- it does require a lot of patience, but there are way more opportunities to get past birthday cards, both from the anniversary events and the rerun pickups! tsums is a bit harder to say anything on because Eng doesn't follow the same event schedule, but it's a longish event and those pickups let you have a free 10-roll, so I think they're also a bit easier to save up for.
(ALSO speaking of free rolls, starting with the fifth round of birthdays -- the kutsurogi my room ones -- the birthday boy/union jacket/bloom cards have had a separate pickup that you can get two free 10-pulls at by doing missions! I got a bloom Jade from it a couple weeks ago. :D meanwhile general Lilia is the only story card I've ever managed to pull, so...I'm probably kinda biased. whoops.)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#joseimuke games are serious business#just speculating for a moment here#i could be completely wrong about all of this it's just me spitballin'#i suspect we WILL get a rerun pickup for the 7-7 and up story cards at some point#but probably not a third round of the diasomnia story boys :(#we never got a proper dorm rerun for them so i think we'll get that instead#but also that makes me wonder if we're going to maybe not get a story silver card after all...#because like#i realized earlier that since we've been getting main story drops pretty consistently every two months#(we had july + august in a row but september + october were for halloween so it averages out)#if we continue this way that means heartslabyul in january and return to diasomnia in march#which would be timed PERFECTLY for the fifth anniversary#it absolutely could just be a coincidence but. idk. i could see it being a fun place to end 7 on.#(i still think we're getting an episode 8 with grim. just. y'know. the TIMING)#but if that turns out to be true then there might not be time for a silver story card AND dorm reruns...#i mean i'm 100% talking out my butt here so i could be entirely wrong about all of it#(stay tuned for six months straight of training camp events and master chef reruns instead)#i just really want a silver story card okay#we've gotten so much silver angst and yet i demand MORE#unsuspecting anon: hey ego do you remember if there were tokens for the --#me: UUUURGH DELICIOUS SILVER TEARS#(sorry anon) (good luck with whoever you choose to pull for though! your taste in cards is excellent and i understand the dilemma 😭)
107 notes · View notes
turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
Text
One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
288 notes · View notes
rafumeika · 4 months ago
Text
What Mahito did: Manipulate Junpei into being his friend and then killed him in front of Yuji, laughed about Yuji's desperation to save him, killed Nanami, got Nobara into a coma, destroyed one of Todo's hands
Yuji with Mahito at the end:
Tumblr media
What Sukuna did: Threaten to kill Yuji's friend multiple times, ripped Yuji's heart out of his chest and then tricked him into making a Binding Vow that he would have to forget in order to bring him back to life, laughed at Yuji when he desperately begged him to try and save Junpei, told him over and over again that his mere existence would bring destruction simply by being his vessel, destroyed Shibuya and killed countless of innocent people, ditched Yuji to make Megumi his new vessel, then sinked Megumi's soul as deep as he could in darkness in order to keep control of his body, killed Tsumiki, killed Gojo, killed Kashimo, killed Higuruma, killed Choso, almost killed Yuta and pushed him into using Kenjaku's CT to get into Gojo's body, kept praising literally everyone else but Yuji (while still trying to kill them), who he kept talking shit about instead, got pissed when Yuji showed pity and told him that he would kill every single person still left alive that Yuji cared about before finally killing him
Yuji with Sukuna at the end:
Tumblr media
94 notes · View notes
louieshalo · 10 months ago
Text
demiromantic asexual riz gukgak save me… save me demi/ace riz who can’t distinguish his romantic feelings for fabian from his platonic ones
Tumblr media
175 notes · View notes
acearadiamegido · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
@homestuckss pinch hit for @topfsecret !!
Reluctant face of the Alternian revolution Karkat is NOT quite used to having an entire security detail yet, and isn't sure why they're all dressed like sci fi adventure movie characters??
to which I would say, if you're gonna be planning an underground revolution against a spacefaring despot why WOULDN'T you dress for the occasion. c'mon.
167 notes · View notes
dnsknr · 3 months ago
Text
I remember being 18–19-ish when I started listening to wtnv. I wanted to draw Cecil, but could never settle on what he would wear because I thought the clothes I liked would look silly on a grown ass man. Who dresses like that?
Now I'm 31 and I have realised that, indeed, the clothes I wear when I feel the most confident are those same outfits. And I love it.
22 notes · View notes
clowningaroundmars · 12 days ago
Text
Hobie1610 pt. 4
after so many months of waiting, the wait... is finally over.
here is the fourth and final part of this little au idea i had brewing in my head for some time now. i hope you guys enjoy?
and thanks so much to everyone leaving encouraging and kind comments on the previous parts as well! really appreciate y'all :)
hope this ending is a satisfying one :)
>pt. 1 here<
>pt. 3 here<
MJ: We’re going to hang tomorrow after my shoot, right?
It was a text that Miles looked at and looked at and looked at all day ever since it arrived into his messages that very morning. It literally came out of nowhere.
But how long ago was it that he and Hobie Jones ran into each other at Central Park? It had to have been like a week ago, he was pretty sure...
He thinks.
“Maybe the guy’s pushy or somethin’, he just really likes you for some reason,” Ganke had offered by way of explanation as they sat together at lunch for the first time in what seemed like forever.
Miles wasn’t entirely sure when he and Ganke ever got to chill like this together in the cafeteria area... but as luck would have had it, Ganke’s mom forgot to send over some money for the week, forcing him to buy from the cheaper menu that the school had to offer rather than ordering off of the many food delivery apps he had on lock in his phone.
They sat a ways away from the hustle and bustle of the main area, near a big window that looked outwards into the typical scene of the congested New York City streets, and Miles would have been perfectly content with this arrangement had it not been for The Text.
He jiggled his leg and rubbed at his jaw in between bites of his own cheap meal-- something he got even though he didn’t really want it, but what was he gonna do, let Ganke wait in line by himself?-- gazing at his cell phone sitting right by his elbow. The text message was gazing right back at him.
“I… dunno. I-- man, I wish I told you more about my patrols so you can remind me how long ago Central Park was. I swear it was only like… last week? Right?”
Ganke chomped on his own slice of pepperoni pizza and shrugged. “I think that was a while ago. Either way, he wants to go on this date with you. So you might as well.”`
Miles groaned. “It’s not a date, Ganks. We’re just… chillin’, hangin’ out a little,” he gestured with his hands, which was not convincing Ganke at all. “Y’know?”
Ganke leaned forward a little bit, glasses slipping down his nose as he grinned mischievously. “Did he figure out it was you, Mi? Is that why you’re so nervous about it?”
“Whaaat are you talking about? No… no, he didn’t! I just. Uh, I saved him from those scary gang members and then I swung him home and that was that. No one else knows but you and my parents, Ganke, promise.” Miles’ smile was even less convincing.
“Miles,” Ganke deadpanned, “have you ever thought about what would happen if some Flickstagram-famous model learns about your thing you got goin’ on? He could be pushing this because he knows already, dude. Or at least he thinks he does. You’re a weird kid after all, and it wouldn't take too long to put two and two together... no offense.”
Miles shoved a fist under his chin and chewed a french fry pensively, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't give him away.
The thing is, Hobie did know.
Miles still couldn’t shake off the memories of his warm fingertips hooking under his mask and slowly lifting it off of his face, the way his entire visage seemed so positively radiant with that dazzling smile once they met eyes. He remembered Hobie’s wiry arms clutching onto him for dear life as they flew across the stadium towards the exit, the easy banter they had going back and forth after the action finally died down and they were safely heading back to the outer gates of the park.
So Hobie definitely knew. That wasn’t really the problem... although, Ganke might be right. It could be in the future, if Miles didn’t play his cards right.
Hobie is a solid guy no matter what dimension Miles found him in. Even as the Prowler on earth-616, that Hobie Brown was as an upstanding citizen as any crook could be. But flashes of earth-42 kept sparking up right behind his eyes every time doubt popped up about a new player in his life here on earth-1610, and one can never just assume anyways.
And now Miles is sitting at his lunch table with his best friend— who, until now was the only living person on this planet who knew about his secret identity— ruminating on whether or not Ganke might end up being a damn seer after all. Ganke doesn’t know that Hobie knows, but he really just might be right anyhow. That would really be Miles' luck.
Goddamnit.
Is Hobie planning on blackmailing him somehow? His involvement with those thugs stealing a prominent museum’s precious security info seemed a bit off to him, the more he thought about it.
They joked about it many a time over text, but Miles would be lying if he said he hadn’t turned a couple of facts over and over on more than one sleepless night. Hobie mentioned having connections, a camera, and seemed almost too recklessly opportunistic when it came to the chance at nabbing that flash drive...
Doubt was sinking back in. Miles drummed his fingers on the table and shot Ganke a look. “... Whaddya think I should do if he does, then?”
“What, if he finds out?”
“Yeah.”
Ganke shrugs again, popping a pepperoni slice into his mouth and thinking while he chewed. “Web him up to a lamppost,” he said after a bit.
Miles snorted with laughter. “Ganke, be for real right now. You’ve got great coding and social media knowledge, dude. Could you hack his tech if asked you to? Like, just in case?”
Ganke waggled his head, making a show of really, really thinking it through. “Mmmmn, yeah maybe.”
Miles sighs. “What do I have to do?” He asks because he knows his best friend by now.
“Fifty bucks and you also have to do my laundry for a week. What?” Ganke exclaims upon suddenly being on the receiving end of Miles’ glare, “If I get caught, it could mean like federal level charges on my head, dude. Take it up with the law, not me!”
Miles sighs and returns back to his plate of cold fries. “Yeah, yeah. You got a point,”
“But you gotta meet up with him first, figure out what we're dealing with. Just stop putting it off, bro. Avoiding him'll make you look more suspicious. Might as well get it done and over with,”
Miles swallows his fries along with his anxiety, picks up his phone, and starts drafting his answer to Hobie’s sudden proposal.
He doesn't know why there's a pit of dread in his stomach, but he opts to ignore it this time.
He hopes Ganke is wrong.
♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
The next day, MJ's cell phone vibrates on the portable vanity set up at the studio where his current shoot is taking place.
He’s busy, trying not to get too lost in the flurry of hands prepping him, the flashing of the cameras, the shouts of directions from the camera guy as he hits pose after pose with the props on set.
It’s when he’s changing into his last outfit for the shoot that he finally has some time to sip his water bottle and mindlessly scroll through dozens of notifications, finally coming across the one notif he waited to get the entire day: Miles. His name appeared at the very bottom.
... Meaning he received the message hours ago. Shit.
With his shoot almost over, MJ punched in a quick message and hit send, excitedly returning back to the set and finishing his work day up as quickly as humanly possible.
MJ's absentmindedly agreeing that every picture the director shows him is truly amazing, yes, amazing indeed, all while trying not to vibrate out of his mind-numbingly expensive designer outfit he’s been forced into. The only person he can think about as he dumbly nods along to whatever the crew is saying to him is Miles. Miles, Miles, Miles.
Miles has agreed to finally-- finally, after all of these weeks-- meet up with him and make good on his promise. Of course, MJ's slightly miffed that it had to be him to initiate the lunch date in the end, but whatever.
Closed mouths don’t get fed, after all. And Miles was technically not breaking his promise.
So now MJ is floating back down the hallway to the makeup room, gently pushing past all of the other models and swatting away at his mother’s hands while he makes his way over to his duffle bag.
“MJ, darling. Look at me,” his mother says as she hooks a finger under his chin and examines his makeup. “Do you wanna be wearing this when you go hang out with your little friend today?”
Your little friend, MJ almost scoffs out loud, but manages to school his expression into one of pure professionalism. “Yes, mom. Nothin' wrong with it,” he answers breezily.
She hovers. "I mean, it might make your friend think that... uhm, well. You know, it might give the wrong impression. He'll think you two are on a date! You're not allowed to date."
"Sure, mom. Except he knows I'm a model. The whole city does at this point." His tone drips with teenage attitude.
She lets him go.
Then, he’s unbuttoning his shirt and untying a sparkly scarf doubling as a belt to hold up the comically baggy jeans he was assigned to wear today, impatient to shrug himself out of those clothes and jump into his own so he can finally, finally, finally run down to the little cafe he told Miles to meet him at.
His mother was busy on a tablet typing away at something, chatting with MJ's agent once he found his way over to them, and even when neither of them noticed much about MJ on any other day, it seemed they were paying special attention to the way he was throwing his clothes back on with obvious glee now.
MJ had never smiled this much around them, and they sure took note of it now.
“Heard you’re getting ready to meet with a friend, MJ,” his agent told him once he turned his attention back to his client.
“Yyyep,” MJ answered noncommittally. He threw on a coat and started to reach for his messenger bag, stopping when a hand grabbed his shoulder and squeezed.
“We’re gonna keep in touch with the team, and keep updating you on the status of the shoot, but we gotta make sure you’ve got your phone on, right?” His agent looked him directly in the eye. “It’s great that you’re making friends again, Em, but you have to keep your head in the game.”
Yeah, of course. “Don’t let anything distract you from helping me make money” is what you mean, MJ thought ruefully, blinking back innocently.
He nodded and offered his agent a casual smile. “I mean yeah. He’s just a friend, I’m not gonna let that get in the way of my job. Don’t worry,” he adds, “I got my phone on. Hit me up when something cool happens.”
His agent and his mother exchange glances, but agree to release him anyways.
“I mean, he’s still a kid,” he hears his mother say as he quickly exits the room and finds his way towards the elevators. “I let him have a little fun every once in a while! The real work doesn’t start until he’s older right? Might as well let him have this for now..."
MJ rubs his thumb up and down along the edge of his phone case, feeling the bumps of the volume keys over and over.
He steps into the elevator when the doors slide open. He punches the button for the main lobby and stares down at his messages with Miles.
Yes, he thinks a bit vindictively, the real work doesn’t start until he’s older.
She definitely isn’t wrong about that.
♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
"You ever think about running away at all?" Hobie asked Miles rather suddenly after they got their usual greetings done and over with.
The cafe Hobie picked was cute, quaint, and very small. A nice little reprieve from the noisy halls of their school and the bustling city streets, since the business didn't seem to have any other patrons at this hour aside from the two boys.
They picked their seats right next to the window and opted to people-watch for a bit as they scrolled through the cafe's stylized menu on their phones. The lighting of the late-afternoon day illuminated Hobie in such gorgeous warm light that Miles was almost suspicious; did he pick this place specifically because the late sun's rays would bounce off of nearby skyscrapers and cast them both in the best mood lighting New York City had to offer? It sure seemed like it.
Hobie leaned back in his seat and gave Miles the most charming smile he's seen on a guy yet, erasing his suspicions from his brain entirely. And... well, anything else as well.
"Uhhh," Miles offered intelligently.
Hobie huffed a laugh in response. "It's okay, I know it's a weird question. Forget I said it."
Miles shook his head. "Wait, no. Sorry, what'd you say again? I'm, uhm. Sorry, I think I'm just a little tired. Kind of out of it,"
Hobie nodded sagely, setting his phone aside for the time being. "Hmm, late night homework, right? Essays maybe?"
They chuckled and grinned at each other cheesily, the knowledge that they shared a big secret between them settling comfortably and cozily like a fat cat curling up near a fireplace. It was nice, kinda. To be in on something that not many other people were, like an inside joke or a long-running bit between old friends.
But then Miles' earlier conversation with Ganke at the school cafeteria floated back up in his mind again and he had to bite his lip to keep from frowning suddenly. He looked down, a bit ashamed.
"Hobie--" he started.
"MJ," Hobie interrupted, chin in his hand now.
Miles looked up. "MJ. Oh, yeah. Right, sorry."
"I don't really like my given name, so no one calls me that. Just call me MJ. Or Em, even. That's what my agent calls me."
"Agent. Geez. So you didn't really answer my question earlier, back when we first met," here, Miles folded his arms on the table in front of him. "How famous are you, really?"
MJ grinned like a mischievous cat, chin still in one hand. "You've been on my Flicksta page this entire time since you found it. How famous do you think I am? Not that hard to do research nowadays, right?"
Miles felt his face heating up. "H-how'd you know about that?"
"You liked a post of mine that I made like... last year, dude. I saw."
Miles silently cursed himself out as he shut his eyes in embarrassment and winced. "Yikes. Alright, I guess you caught me. That was my bad for sure!"
MJ's grin was crooked. "Yeah, I'm... pretty well-known. Not supermodel status yet obviously, but I've been on a couple billboards. Posters, some ads. I'm training to walk some shows. Whatever." He leaned back in his seat again and messed with his sweater's sleeves a little as he spoke. Distantly, Miles noticed how expensive MJ's clothing really looked, how plush the knit of his sweater was, and the tailoring of his coat.
"Whatever," Miles echoed inquisitively. "Do you hate it? Is that why you wanna run away?"
They met eyes.
"I thought I told you to forget that question, Morales," MJ replies coolly. "It was a weird one. I dunno why I even said it,"
Miles, sensing something in the air between them, wondered if he should have changed the subject. Too bad his mouth had a less-than-stellar track record of listening to his brain.
Instead, he opened it and quietly said: "If we're gonna be friends, and if you want me to not web you up to a pole somewhere in Manhattan, I gotta know your deal."
"Mn, my deal," MJ repeated warily.
"Yeah," Miles sighed, already resigning himself to just getting this over and done with already. No time like the present, right? "You mentioned... you mentioned having a camera and connections. And you're just... weird, man. Like, no offense but you being in Central Park when you were that one time? Running away from those gang members who looked like they were gonna strangle you for takin' their flash drive away from 'em? That was super risky. Something's up."
MJ nodded, still looking apprehensive but also like he wanted to give in. "Right, I've got your big secret. Now you wanna have one of mine. Fair, I guess."
Miles shrugged helplessly. "If we're gonna be friends... I mean, it is fair, right?"
MJ glanced around at the empty seats around them, grateful that even the cashier seems to have gone to the back so that they were both totally alone together. Good spot to pick after all, he thought to himself. He kept his voice down just in case anyways.
He licked his lips and leaned his elbows on the table. "Yeah. I get it. It's a big thing you're doing for the city, y'know... doin' what you do. So here it is: I hate being a model."
Miles blinked at him, waiting for more. MJ didn't immediately being speaking again so he made a go on kind of motion with a hand.
MJ laughed a bit, shaking his head. "This is gonna be stupid. It's gonna sound so stupid! God," he rubbed the bridge of his nose with a knuckle and looked outside at a small stream of people walking past, all in a hurry to get on with whatever it was that occupied their lives.
"... About as stupid as some kid from Brooklyn putting on a costume to go out and fight crime?" Miles smiled patiently.
"Well, kinda. It was because of some punk kid from Brooklyn putting on that costume to go fight crime that I finally had the courage to like, go out there and get into my little hobby of breaking and entering, snooping around places I shouldn't, trying to help people..." MJ stopped when he saw the look on his friend's face.
"You...?" Miles started, his lips forming the shape of the words he wanted to say but not quite letting them out into the open just yet.
Did he hear that right?
As if reading his thoughts, MJ nodded. "When you took up the mantle of Spiderman after our first guy died, I took it as a sign. To like... finally just do it, right? I guess all that was left was just taking the leap, y'know what I mean?"
Miles suppressed a shudder as he nodded along, pushing Peter B's lectures out of his mind for the moment.
"I hate being a model," MJ continued, a single loc falling into his determined face, "because I wanna be a journalist. Like... an investigative journalist. But I also like science stuff as well. I guess I dunno what I really wanna be when I'm older. All I know is... I have got to get away from my overbearing mom."
"Or else," Miles finishes for him, tilting his head as if to say remember our conversation at the park?
MJ grimly confirmed it. "Or else," he replied.
Miles blew out a breath and leaned all the way back in his own seat, folding his arms over his chest. "Wow."
"Yeah, heavy stuff. I know," MJ tossed his locs back over his shoulders and glanced up at the posted menu hanging high above the register. The cashier returned from the back, placing several different pastries from a baking tray into the cafe's clean little glass display at the counter.
"Wanna...?" MJ pointed his chin at them, already pushing his chair out to get up.
"Oh, yeah. Food! Duh," Miles answered and got up to follow suit. How could he possibly forget?
The rest of their hangout goes over wonderfully after the grim conversation, all things considered. They opt to chat amicably about surface-level stuff mostly; family dynamics, friends, schoolwork and more about MJ's day job as a model.
"My mom acts like she's my agent most days, too." MJ is recounting this in between sips of his black coffee, long fingers nursing the ceramic cup he was given. "She's the one who got me into these modeling gigs in the first place. She said I had 'the look'... whatever that means. I like bein' behind the camera, though. Not in front of it," he lamented.
Miles spears some lettuce that fell out of his sandwich with the toothpick his side of pickle came with, waving it around as he talks. "Your mom sounds like the type of parent that pushes their kids around a lot. I guess I would know what that's like,"
Sensing a chance to commiserate in their shared dilemma, MJ leans forward a bit and smiles. "Your folks sounded nice when you described them. What's up?"
"I love them, and they sure do love me, but," Miles shakes his head and picks the lettuce off of his toothpick. "I dunno. They want the best for me and... sometimes it feels like nothing else matters but that."
MJ has the lower half of his face carefully hidden behind his mug when he asks: "Have you told them?"
Miles sighed, long and loud. "Yep. Yeah. They know. They do. That was... a very long story but. Anyways, yeah, after all the stuff that went down this spring, I finally had to fess up. No one else knows but you guys, though, I swear."
Miles silently patted himself on the back for managing to completely omit Ganke from the conversation. Can't give up his ace up his sleeve so soon, now can he?
Tumblr media
MJ nods sympathetically. "I wasn't kidding, you know. Back when I told you that your secret was safe with me. You've got one of mine, so. No one else but us,"
Miles raises a pinkie over their plates and makes eye contact with him. "Pinkie promise?"
MJ's eyes flash at him.
"Duh. I never break promises," he replies, hooking pinkies together and smiling. "I'm not really in the business of ruining the life of a pretty great hero right now."
"Until it benefits you, you mean," Miles says, really only half-joking.
MJ doesn't take the bait. Instead, he deflects the best way he knows how. "Oh yeah, absolutely. If someone's out there putting a billion-dollar bounty on your head someday, you already know I'm goin' for it. What? It's a billion dollars, dude!"
They laugh together as Miles throws a piece of tomato in his direction and MJ threatens to pour the rest of his coffee onto his lap.
It felt good, felt natural. Their banter was smooth and seamless which Miles thought was a relief because very few people he encountered in life wanted to keep up with his constant sarcasm and nerdy jokes. No one else seemed to share his sense of humor except for MJ, and it made him feel a bit of warmth in his chest.
Even if they only stayed friends, he seemed to be a great companion to have nonetheless. And Miles had Ganke as backup in case anything went wrong between them. It was a daunting thing to come to terms with, the fact that such a cool guy like Hobie M. Jones had the ability to stab him behind his back at any moment's notice, or accidentally let Miles' secret double life as the crime-fighting webslinger out at the most inopportune time.
But... it wouldn't be the first time a friend has double-crossed him.
Miles wasn't stupid. He knew that letting more and more people in on his secret identity was a huge gamble, especially when it came to keeping a secret as big as this was. The risk was too high, the rewards might not even be worth it.
Worst of all, his friends could be legit and then get hurt if they ever found themselves somehow caught in the crosshairs of his other life.
... But Miles didn't want to think about that right now. That was a problem for future him. Right now, they were both too busy being what neither of their own families seemed to want them to be: a pair of carefree kids.
In this moment, MJ didn't have to worry about stifling and busy schedules arranged for him without his consent. He didn't have to worry about itchy fabrics or ill-fitting designer clothes or loud and bright cameras capturing his every move. With Miles, he could finally let loose.
And in this moment, Miles didn't have to worry about crime-fighting (for now), juggling mountains of schoolwork to please his parents, or keeping up appearances so he didn't arouse suspicions as to where he always was when he managed to slip away. With MJ, he could relax a little and enjoy the small things that always escaped his notice as he rushed this way and that, desperately trying to keep up with the chaos of his everyday life. Time seemed to slow down and speed up simultaneously when they were together.
They finished up their meal and exited the cafe, thanking the cashier and pulling on their coats to hopefully battle the frigid winter air of the city. They made their way up and down blocks, past shops and restaurants, weaving in and out of passing crowds on the sidewalk.
As they wandered aimlessly, unable to escape each other's gravitational pull for even one second, they talked some more.
They talked about Miles' art, MJ's secret science experiments in his room and how he fought his mom to get into Visions in the first place, about Miles' parents and his daily workload he usually juggles. They tried talking about Miles' start as Spiderman, but they didn't get too far along that topic before realizing there were only so many code words they could use to say what they wanted to say out loud before devolving into a fit of giggles.
They chatted about their plans after they graduate, how Miles still wants to go to Princeton and how MJ is planning on funding his own college education once he saves up enough money to leave his station in life and go wherever the wind takes him.
Miles seemed a bit sad at the thought that their friendship looked to have an eventual expiration date in the future, but there didn't seem to be anything changing MJ's mind anytime soon. After all, he didn't even know if he was going to keep in touch with Ganke once they stopped being roommates. And they ended up being pretty tight, against all odds.
So as they kept their casual pace through the city, Miles made a mental note to remember and cherish days like these as much as he could. He checked his phone for the time... this blissful moment of normalcy would have to end soon.
"So," Miles said once their long conversation eventually wound down. Their feet had taken them to a nearby subway station, the gum-covered concrete steps already beckoning them both to bid each other adieu.
"So..." MJ glanced at him, stopping them both by the railing and smiling down at his friend.
The day was drawing to a close, the sun had fully set about half an hour ago and they both needed to get out of the streets and back to their regular everyday lives. For Miles, this meant he had to get at least an hour of patrolling in before swinging back to his dorm room and getting started on his studies for their chem test on Monday.
For MJ, it meant returning back to Manhattan and steeling himself in preparation for the eventual lecture he knew he was going to get, about not staying out so late without supervision and how he didn't respond in time to his agent's texts. The usual.
"I hate to say it, but it's lookin' like we might have to say goodbye for now," Miles shrugged, hanging his head for comical effect.
MJ laughed brightly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you sound like you don't even wanna leave."
"You might be right about that. Wish me luck tonight, I gotta... y'know," Miles leaned casually as he could manage against the railing, shrugging a shoulder.
"Right. Do your extracurriculars,"
Miles groaned. "Yuck. Let's not call it that, please! You sound like my dad. Let's just call it my weird hobby instead."
"Okay, so I guess I gotta let you go to do your weird hobby instead, then."
"Which just so happens to be graffiti, by the way," Miles' lips quirk up mischievously, giving MJ a look as he slowly slides against the railing and places a foot on the first step. "I like to spray paint around the city every now and then... in case anyone wants to know. In case they ask."
MJ bobs his head in response, following Miles' movements. "Ah, right. Spray painting! Super cool. Anyone asks where you are, I got your back, man."
Miles' smile is as dazzling as it is endearing as he places a hand on the metal railing and lowers himself some more, unable to bring himself to cut the invisible rope anchoring him and MJ together, holding them there in that one space as a constant stream of New Yorkers climb up and down the steps beside them.
Thank you New York City, Miles finds himself thinking.
No one glanced in their direction, they were completely surrounded by people, but still alone. The lights of nearby shop signs and street lamps gave MJ a bit of a halo around his hair, and from the angle he was standing at, Miles looked up at it and believed that it made him just glow.
They gazed deeply into each other's eyes, the usual noise of the city falling easily into the background. It was just the two of them.
"... Yeah." Miles says a bit awkwardly, unable to pull away. "Yeah, that sounds... good. Great. Thanks man! You're a real one,"
MJ smiles knowingly above him. "So you might wanna head on down now. Don't wanna keep you from catching your train."
Miles grins back. "Right. My train."
"Go get 'em, Tiger." MJ responds, offering him a little salute with his fingers and finally turning away to disappear into the thick crowds that flowed up and down the city sidewalks like water.
After a little bit, Miles felt like he could breathe normally again.
He descended down.
♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
Miles' life went right back to normal, with a new element added in.
He still rushed through his days of back-breaking homework and tests, still tried to keep up with the crime-fighting and his family back home who kept pestering him with exclamations about how he was always late to events and get-togethers, especially as the holidays rolled around.
(His mother pulled him aside for a quick little chat on how he needs to get better at communicating where he was so that she and Jeff could make up excuses for him ahead of time)
He still gamed mindlessly with Ganke on most weekends after their school break ended and the students all traveled back to their dorms, he still texted his extra-dimensional friends whenever he was free and had a minute to spare.
But now he made some space for another special person in his life: Hobie M. Jones.
They passed notes back and forth in the classes they shared like a pair of friends back in elementary school (to avoid leaving a trail of evidence on their phones, Miles argued when he brought it up to MJ, who just laughed) and walked each other to their classes whenever they could.
But it was risky business keeping someone like MJ so close, especially if it could arouse suspicion when Spiderman happened to swoop in and save him out of the blue. Both Miles and Spiderman hovering around MJ's vicinity day in and day out could be a possible liability to contend with indeed, so Miles still tried keeping his distance whenever possible.
For what it was worth, MJ seemed to understand. He was also occasionally followed by cameras from online fans in the real world or opportunistic reporters looking to try and pry precious info of a new marketing campaign MJ happened to be a part of, so this kind of life wasn't new to him either.
Thankfully, he agreed it was best to only get together in private.
As the months flew by, exams and assignments came and went, but their friendship only flourished.
Miles found himself admitting some surprising things to MJ on late-night text conversations when he couldn't sleep and needed to hop out of his dorm window to burn some energy. He found himself doodling his friend in his sketchbook often, unable to scrub the images of his flawless modeling photos from his brain.
He found himself... doodling their names together on hastily discarded sticky notes and coming up with illegible graffiti so he can mash their names together on stickers and shamelessly slap them up onto signs, onto walls, onto bathroom stalls and stairwells and notebooks and poles and bus stops and--
Miles startled out of a reverie as he was balancing himself on a random window ledge somewhere in the city, fully suited up, sketchbook in hand as he doodled little hearts around a profile study of MJ. Tucked under the page he was working on was an embarrassing amount of stickers with his and MJ's last names on them.
God. The humiliation he would face if MJ ever got his hands on this book. His mind flashes back to the sheer embarrassment he felt back when Gwen suddenly dropped down into his room from a portal and began to leaf through his old sketchbook, finding one too many drawings of her own face in the pages.
The memories snapped him out of his weird love-induced haze and forced him to shamefully fold over the corner of the page and hide those little hearts.
First, you ran away from him after you figured out he was an MJ, now you're obsessed with him. ¿Quién te puedes entender?
The sound of Miles' conscience was taking the harsh shape of his mother's voice. Not good.
He sighed and shut his sketchbook, shoving it into his backpack that was webbed onto the wall right next to him. Crime never slept, but it did have its ebbs and flows that Miles found himself in tune with as the months went by. This hour on a Thursday evening happened to be one of the slower hours for crime fighting, it seemed.
Regardless, he yanked his bag from its sticky confines and brushed the webs off, straightening himself up from his position and mindlessly checking his phone for any pressing updates.
Finding none, and with nothing much else to do... he sent MJ a quick text.
Miles: Busy rn?
He knocked himself on the forehead for it, knowing he might regret what he was about to propose but... he couldn't get the guy out of his head. He was dreaming about MJ on the regular now, which was never a good sign. Might as well see if he was up to doing any crazy last-minute stunts since the heart seemed to want what it wanted.
The reply came almost immediately after.
MJ: Nope, just surrounded by a pile of annoying hw, why do you ask?
Miles grinned as he typed a quick reply, hit send, and shot a web up to climb to the roof of the building.
Miles: I'm thinking I'm like... about a 15 mins walk away from your place. Wanna hang? I can swing by
He can almost taste the eye roll in MJ's replies, which made him smile beneath his mask.
MJ: You're corny as hell and that's exactly why you're my friend
MJ: Just give me a few to get ready
Miles sends back an affirmative, and tucks his phone right into his bag's side pocket which he then throws over a shoulder. He turns towards the general direction that MJ's penthouse apartment is located, right over the Brooklyn Bridge.
On his way there, he rehearses all of the coolest lines he could think of, not quite hoping to impress his friend or anything, but hoping that maybe MJ won't see him for the weird dork everyone else treats him as. And... to also keep him from suspecting anything or whatever.
They've hung out together countless times before, after their initial meetup. And not once did flawless-fashionable-cool-model MJ make him feel like he was ever uncool or off-putting. Maybe that was why Miles was so infatuated with him, when it came down to it. Still a good idea to play it safe, just in case.
It would have served Miles much better if he gave this friendship an even wider berth, retained his mysterious reputation... but there was something so arresting about MJ's eyes, his mannerisms and gentleness that contrasted so sharply with his quick wit, surprising bravery and intelligence.
Miles can shoot off the wittiest lines on the planet, but at the end of the day, he was still a boy with a crush. Alas.
In the time that he vaulted around NYC as Earth-1610's Spiderman, Miles developed a knack for snappy one-liners that MJ seemed to find endearing. Whenever they were together, they often fell into good-natured jabs and quips at each other, and he was so enamoured by it.
And it seemed like they just... naturally fell into the gravity of each other's orbit often anyways. Miles would look up into a crowd anywhere at Visions and immediately be able to find MJ. Like he developed an MJ-sense alongside his own spidery ones.
Two twin stars locked in orbit, a binary system forever hurtling through space together.
God, he really needed to get it together. That was super cheesy even for him, and he watched Titanic on his laptop damn near a hundred times at this point.
The thought had him yanking on his webs much harder and flying through the late evening air just to burn off the heat that built up in his gut.
He had to quickly remind himself that regardless of whatever happened between them, he promised that he would forever cherish it all. Miles wasn't an idiot, he knew that being Spiderman put a dampener on a lot of his relationships in life. It was a constant tug-of-war between him and his parents, and Ganke often reminds him of how absent he is at school, even when he's present.
Whatever happens between him and MJ in the future is whatever happens. Miles has already made peace with the inevitability of reality, like he so often needed to in this life. No need to get his hopes up.
Sobering up, Spiderman does several somersaults in the air before attaching a web onto the corner of MJ's swanky high-rise located not too far from the bridge. He sticks to the reflective glass and lets gravity do all the work for him as he drops down a few stories, hoping he was just a quick black blur that could be chalked up to just being a bird of some kind in case anyone happened to glance out their windows.
He hasn't been over to MJ's apartment at all, but knows the building from the outside very well thanks to the two friends' prior escapades. MJ's mom was strict according to him, and after sneaking them both out of the window to go to a mall or hang out at a park, swing around the city a bit and then drop MJ off back home, Spiderman was well acquainted with his bedroom window as a result.
He finds it again effortlessly and hangs upside down by a web, slowly lowering himself into view.
MJ's eyes light up immediately upon seeing him. He perks up, gets up from his computer chair to carefully lock the bedroom door and moves right back to his window.
"Well hello there, Spiderman! Glad you could make it." MJ smiles warmly, keeping his voice down. "Sorry, mom and the team are in the living room and I just told her I'm lockin' myself in here to study as hard as I can. Finals coming up and all... but we don't have too much time."
"Which is why you're only stepping out for a bit of air, right? Real quick, I promise." Spiderman replies good-naturedly. "It'll help clear your head."
MJ huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. "Where would I be without you?"
"It's Spiderman's job to help all of the citizens of New York... and you look like you could use it, so,"
MJ slides his window open even wider, already throwing a leg over the sill. "My hero."
Together, they drop down a few stories, just free-falling and enjoying the chill of the late evening for a few seconds, shrouded by the dusk's descent that was already darkening the vast sky above them.
MJ gasps breathlessly when Spiderman shoots out a web and sends them sailing over congested streets filled to the brim with cars and trucks, over tall street lamps and past bright digital billboards advertising all kinds of products.
They zoom past more buildings, arcing gracefully around corners. At one point, MJ dares to loosen a grip on Spiderman's shoulders and splay his fingers out against the wind.
They fly together like birds for a minute more, soaring through the air and then rounding right back on the path they carved into it so Spiderman could deposit his friend right back home.
MJ said they didn't have much time, right? And Miles was satisfied with their short little hangout anyhow. He got his hands on his crush, had him clinging onto his arms and his neck the entire time they were airborne. It was getting late and he had to head back to Visions himself as well.
"Take me up to the roof real quick," MJ pants into his ear. Miles tries very hard not to think too much about that as he wordlessly follows orders and makes a beeline for the roof access.
Together, they land near the edge, overlooking the concrete jungle that was Manhattan, surrounded on all sides by tall buildings that seemed to reach up to heavens, still much taller than MJ's own building.
It was a miracle they weren't seen together, but that might've been because of the glitter and glitz of the city night all around them. New Yorkers never really looked up anyways.
Below them, the traffic and the bustle of the city continued at its usual pace; a constant thrum of vibrations, sounds and lights as they flowed up and down the streets like blood cells traveling through veins.
Both boys leaned their elbows onto the roof's raised edge and peered all around them, enjoying their temporary peace, catching their breath.
"I'm real glad I met you, you know?" MJ says, uncharacteristically sincere. His face was an open door now, but he was still unable to meet Spiderman's eyes.
Miles thought it might be appropriate to keep his mask on for now.
"Man, I only swung us around for like a few minutes. You don't need to confess your love for me, I'll take a thanks as payment. That's all." He joked but still tried to keep the sarcasm light. Didn't want to ruin the moment, after all.
MJ offered a crooked smirk at that, but then sobered up again. "Nah, really, man. I mean it. I'm not sure where I'd be right now if I hadn't transferred over to Visions and literally bumped into you. Crazy how life works like that, huh?"
"Right, especially since you were my biggest fan before that," Miles reminds him. "Serendipity or whatever."
MJ nods slowly. "Serendipity. Yeah... exactly. Sorry. What did you just say?"
Caught off guard, Miles hesitates for a bit. Play dumb, Morales!
"Uhh, what did I just say?"
MJ laughs, punching Miles on the arm before folding his own arms over his chest. "I was a fan of the old Spiderman before you came along. When he died..." he averts his eyes, studying his shoes. "Yeah, that sucked. But then you came along out of the blue... anyways. I just took it as a sign, that's all."
Miles dramatically wilts against the side of the roof. "Daaamnn, bro. I just swung you around the city for a bit! I gave you a free ride, and I don't even get to be your favorite? I see how it is."
MJ bursts out laughing. "Don't worry, Spiderman," he says, holding up his hands placatingly. "You're on your way to replacing him soon enough! Keep giving me those free rides. And uh... thanks," he finishes lamely, raising his hand to shoot his friend a salute. "Yeah. Thanks. For this."
They smile sheepishly at each other for a few seconds and Miles swears he's going to start roasting alive in his suit pretty soon from the way the warmth in his chest was radiating outward towards every limb.
Butterflies were swirling inside of his gut and he swears he can hear the sappy music from a romance movie Miles watched recently playing somewhere near them. Maybe now was the time to... stop avoiding his feelings? Take that leap of faith, right?
He's done it many times before. This time was probably no different than any other time where he's been thrown way out of his comfort zone only to be kinda glad it happened, in retrospect.
He opened his mouth and started to speak at the same time MJ did.
"So, Em--"
"Uh, so--"
They jumped in unison, wide eyes meeting wide lenses. MJ dipped his head.
"Oh, sorry I was--" Miles chuckled, bopping his forehead with a hand. "S-sorry, what were you gonna say?"
He winced at the jarring awkwardness of it all. The sappy music went silent, the mood thoroughly ruined.
"Oh, well, uh--" MJ looked just as flustered as Miles felt. "N-nah, sorry, I was just gonna say that... that it's been a little while now. So I should probably be heading back," he gestured awkwardly over his shoulder towards the side of the building, trailing off.
"Riiiight, right. Yeah, duh. Of course. Just, uh," Miles turns so his back is facing his friend, gesturing at it as if to say hop on. "Lost track of time, I guess. My bad,"
"What were you gonna say?" MJ asks, right next to Miles' ear as always.
Silently, Miles tucks that part of himself away again for later.
He was really 100% willing to risk it all and go for it, just fully display all of that for a measly chance at getting to date the most popular kid at school right now, and one of the coolest people that he's ever met. He would kick himself if he weren't carrying him right there on his back.
What a stupid idea, Miles. Real dumb, even for you.
In a fraction of a second, he stuffs his emotions right back down in him. Time and place. Not the time, not the place, he reasons. They'd just met a few months ago, and they got off on a pretty rocky start. It just wasn't the time to be making such rash decisions. Yeah, that was it.
"Nah, forget it. I think I was just gonna ask if you wanted to come with me and Ganke to our favorite comic shop this weekend, but that's a dumb question--"
MJ suddenly squeezed his hands tighter around Miles' shoulders. "Duh! It's a dumb question because the answer is obviously yes, of course."
"You like comic books!? Since when?" Miles exclaimed in shock.
"I'm beating you as the top student in chem class right now. You are not nerdier than me. Stop playin' with me." MJ grumbles grumpily. He digs his chin vindictively into Miles' shoulder.
Miles' loud bark of laughter echoed off the rooftop as he takes a running leap towards the ledge, hops on it and promptly sends them plummeting several stories down.
MJ's cry echoed around them even louder.
After about a minute or so, MJ's back inside of his room and they're both trying very hard to suppress laughter so hard that their cheeks hurt and they're crying tears.
Thankfully, outside of the bedroom door, MJ's family never heard a thing.
#spiderverse#punkflower#miles morales#hobie brown#it started off angsty and then i had to go and be all sappy about it baaawwww#i reread a lot of this story trying to regain the memories of what exactly i wrote before and man that first chapter sure was a bummer huh#i was like.... maaannnn these boys have to put up with SO MUCH and i need them to just be kids again for my sanity#as a treat#yeah i hope y'all enjoyed and also thanks so much for being so patient with me if you've been waiting for updates OTL#guess how i'm trying to stay sane this winter! i'm writing about wholesome fluffy sappy maybe-but-maybe-not boyfriends i fuckin guess#will they won't they... i think that's how you sum up spidermanxMJ dynamics in four words right?#but yeah i think y'all already know that these 2 are endgame in my heart no matter what#so its not like i'm leaving a devastating cliffhanger or anything lol :p#a lot inspired these two dorks and their fluffy and frustrating relationship and that is: mj and peter in the mcu movies#i felt like they were a p good summation of what a young and closed off mj would be like with a dorky nerd who has a big secret#and also just. miles. and his relationships in the comics in general. gosh he is simply too sweet...#they're two teens still figuring shit out yanno? maybe they'll have their romance in college lol#and andrew garfield and emma stone's relationship was also so cute... idk i just love a lil rivalry going between partners too sue me#i can see a rivalry happening between this spiderman and mj for surrrre#so many options to choose from!!#anyways thx for reading!#mi writing#clown paint
16 notes · View notes
random-autie-fangirl · 9 days ago
Text
Chara: I'm wanting everything to end instantly
Asriel: And I'm wanting to go on unchanging forever
🔥🔥🔥THE BEEF WITH LINEAR TIME SIBLINGS🔥🔥🔥
#dreemurr siblings#undertale#Chara Dreemurr#Asriel Dreemurr#demon siblings#Chara wants oblivion and Asriel wants eternity#Chara needs a limit. They just want want to reach the ending (they are the narrator after all? isn't guiding the story to its end literally#their job?). That's why they're so impatient and care so much about efficiency#Asriel is associated with infinity the same way Chara is associated with 9999999. Even in-life the idea that there could be a limit scared#him to no end no matter how high it was he hates the idea that one day Chara won't be there anymore and he won't be able to make good#memories with them anymore. He resets over and over and over because he just can't let go. You do the same once thing once with Chara#hey look! I did a thing#and they instantly insult you over it. They are annoyed and baffled and bored out of their mind. You reached the ending did you not?#Why on earth did you erase it? And why in the angel's name are you here AGAIN?#what a strange child...#little prince#brotp: angels or demons?#Neither of them can truly get what they want. Can they? It's not how the world naturally works? Nothing lasts forever on an individual#level but at the same time... everything can't just end at once (not usually anyway...)#wanting to stay forever and wanting to escape immediately...of course it could never end well. Get me to the ending! And please don't let#this end. There's an AU somewhere in which they're almost deities and literally embody eternity and oblivion.#looks at Asriel: boy why you so Siffrin coded? ...Still can you blame him for the please don't leave me sthick Chara told him that they're#only here because they tried to erase themself from existence. It seems Chara mentions it again later.#Of course he's worried about them...''mysteriously disappearing'' or something similar. Not that I don't also understand#Chara wanting everything to end the world hadn't been kind to them so far. Plus they have a destiny don't they? They're the one from the#surface and the future of humans and monsters
17 notes · View notes
spaghett-onaplate · 7 months ago
Text
depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
34 notes · View notes
mochasucculent · 6 days ago
Text
Here's my extremely curated Jayvik playlist btw, it ain't got a lot rn but I have a few heavy hitters in here that I'm placing gently in your palm
16 notes · View notes
lexishoney · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
19 notes · View notes
marley-manson · 8 months ago
Text
Honestly I think the scene in Paradise Found where Xena hallucinates herself snapping Gabrielle's wrist is one of my favourite moments of the show.
Like first of all the aesthetics and vibes of like 4/5ths of this episode (let's not speak of those painfully bad fiveish minutes) are immaculate, and that scene is beautiful, in an incredible and effective contrast to the horrific action on screen and Xena's deteriorating mental state.
But mostly I just love the unabashedly, disturbingly dark depiction of Xena. The sequence is framed as what Xena wants in that moment. "I'll show you what I want," is what she says. She wants to lash out, she wants to cause pain. There's the whole magical aura causing her dark side to like, gain strength of course. This isn't her average day-to-day state of mind, certainly not with Gabrielle. But the episode begins with Gabrielle pointing out that Xena enjoyed her latest fight, and wondering what's more important to her - the good she's fighting for, or the fight itself? And like, the whole point of this episode is to depict Xena's "dark" sadistic side as the most significant part of her, the core of her being, essentially. It's extra heightened here, but it's still ever-present elsewhere.
There is a significant part of Xena, a dominant part, even a driving part, that wants to hurt people. She harnesses that part of her to do good, but the show is sometimes wonderfully stark in its depiction of her darkness, and what it could lead her to do without Gabrielle's, and her own, tempering judgement.
Like, it's such a harsh little scene. It's sudden and intense and scary. And it's just so fucking gratifying to watch a show with a female protagonist who's allowed to be genuinely frightening, without even needing to change. Where the moral of the story is that yes, part of you is frightening, and potentially dangerous to those around you, but that part is still important.
The part of her deep, deep down that wants to hurt Gabrielle when Gabrielle mildly annoys her is necessary. One assumes that without a magical influence drawing it out, it would be a fleeting, easily dismissed wisp of a thought, rather than an overwhelming, hallucinatory urge. A moment of dumb, irrational emotion channeled into a later battle for good, or a workout, or hell, sex, maybe. But the seed is there, and the show revels in it, sans moral judgement. I mean, even in this very episode Xena's darkness is what saves the day. The show tells us that this is what makes Xena a hero. Her sadism doesn't need to be conquered, it needs to be harnessed and thrust in the right direction. And even more than that, it's something we're meant to enjoy about Xena, part of the core of what makes the show entertaining.
And it's great when it comes out in lighter scenes too, like a cupid's-arrow-influenced Xena sparring with Draco and full on backhanding him as foreplay, or telling Ares she likes the look of him impaled on her sword, or just when she grins as she improvises an entertaining way of fighting 10 mooks; and it's great when it comes out in dark but still action-oriented scenes, like her command of the Athenians in The Price, or her assault on the village in Ties That Bind, or even the Gab-drag.
But when that sadism comes out in a genuinely shocking, grotesque scene of disturbing, abusive, petty violence edited like a moment from a horror movie... well there's something a little extra delightful about that, to me lol. Even if it didn't actually happen, that image of Xena is so powerfully illustrative and interesting and, as far as I'm aware, virtually unique to female heroes in the way the urge behind it is still ultimately framed positively, and I adore it to pieces.
15 notes · View notes
elkkiel · 2 months ago
Note
"shy" anon,
hehe good. im glad you feel special. it is a very big project, and ive made a little bit of headway with writing it. its a 12 book series, multi-chapter, NOT short stories. i have the entire thing planned out from front to back. no need to be intimidated by that. im just me. unless youre talking about the project, then i get it. it is a lot to look at all at once. it kind of took on a mind of its own and became something i wasnt really expecting. on top of that, i also have plans to go to film school within a few years, with the goal of making all my own books into movies someday. hopefully at NAIT in edmonton. if they have the course that ive been eyeing.
we are fairly familiar with each other, yes. ive been hyper aware about my tags and how i word things, wondering if youll catch any similarities to my messages lol and this is definitely fun. a lot of fun.
as for music, i also listen to bit of everything. recently its been a combination of metal (at the moment a lot of deathcore and metalcore specifically) and blues/jazzy sexy stuff. dont really know how else to describe it lol. same reason you mentioned, it scratches that itch just the right way. other than those its hozier, bad omens, teddy swims, yebba, sooooo many others my mind is kind of blanking. this is super random, but i found a youtube page that makes versions of songs as if it was the medieval times. the one they did of eminem is fuckin fire lmao its called "bardcore". i do listen to some pop artists but these days they just dont hold my attention like it used to.
i am so excited for you to go to your first one!! thatll be so exciting.
in the last two years ive gone to quite a few concerts/events with live music. in 2022 i saw shawn mendes in edmonton, which was a big deal, his music got me through a really hard time. and last year was the most jam packed concert wise. i saw ed sheeran in toronto, halestorm and volbeat in saskatoon, and then went to pride-fest in edmonton and saw hyphen hyphen. theyre more of a pop-rock group form france, and the vocalist is insane, i highly recommend checking them out. then in december of 2023 i also saw talk at winterfest. i was in the front row for that and it was so worth the -10 weather.
some of the details are sounding familiar, I just can't quite pin down what and for who... you're safe for now anon ;3
having full creative control over your stories like that would be the dream, hey? like getting to write AND take the lead on your own film adaptations? PRODUCERS HATE THEM for this 1 SIMPLE TRICK (film school). also I didn't know that NAIT offered courses like film!! I've met people that have gone through graphic design over there, but it's cool that there's more accessible creative courses like that available. I'm doing my degree at [the other large university in town that is not UofA], and sometimes I feel like it would have been more practical to go the technical college route ;w;
you're really in it for the long haul then!! a 12 novel series sounds like a hell of a time/creative energy investment, so I'm sure it'll be incredibly worth the final outcome!
ALSO YES I'VE HEARD OF BARDCORE LMAOO ITS ACTUALLY GOOD!!? I played d&d in high school, so I appreciate the kinda shitposty chaos vibes lol.
Do you have any live music plans for next year? Sounds like you're down for a pretty large variety in artists/experiences, so I'm sure there's something that'll catch your eye :P
5 notes · View notes
faaun · 5 months ago
Text
ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
17 notes · View notes
curiosityschild · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Amphibiuary Days 11 + 15: Painted and 3D
A holdable friend
103 notes · View notes