#Be a good boy and stay still for me
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āYou sure your daddy allowed you to get this?ā
šŖ”š¤
Letās just say Steve goes to the local sleazy drug dealer because heās also the only āpiercerā in town. (Not really licensed but you know) Steve really wants to get a nipple piercing because he heard from his friends that girls dig it and it looks sexy. Heās nervous but something about Eddie lures him in.
#Be a good boy and stay still for me#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#dark eddie munson#older eddie munson#the age gap is dubious at best Ahahah#steddie smut#body piercing#piercing kink#myart#steddie fanart
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothersā.
And Iām not talking about height! Iām specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, itās very clear that Leoās carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leoās does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but itās also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#itās like 4 am and Iām having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but itās always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leoās depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasnāt on purpose but damn if it doesnāt help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I donāt super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boysā nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails arenāt really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsuās dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? butā¦youāre not colorfulā¦ā¦#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leoās chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and thereās no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo howās the weather down there#and Leoās all like good *sits down* why donāt you join me :)#Donnie: ā¦*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it āmaking use of his speciesās advantagesā#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so itās very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raphās size makes a LOT of sense
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What Mahito did: Manipulate Junpei into being his friend and then killed him in front of Yuji, laughed about Yuji's desperation to save him, killed Nanami, got Nobara into a coma, destroyed one of Todo's hands
Yuji with Mahito at the end:
What Sukuna did: Threaten to kill Yuji's friend multiple times, ripped Yuji's heart out of his chest and then tricked him into making a Binding Vow that he would have to forget in order to bring him back to life, laughed at Yuji when he desperately begged him to try and save Junpei, told him over and over again that his mere existence would bring destruction simply by being his vessel, destroyed Shibuya and killed countless of innocent people, ditched Yuji to make Megumi his new vessel, then sinked Megumi's soul as deep as he could in darkness in order to keep control of his body, killed Tsumiki, killed Gojo, killed Kashimo, killed Higuruma, killed Choso, almost killed Yuta and pushed him into using Kenjaku's CT to get into Gojo's body, kept praising literally everyone else but Yuji (while still trying to kill them), who he kept talking shit about instead, got pissed when Yuji showed pity and told him that he would kill every single person still left alive that Yuji cared about before finally killing him
Yuji with Sukuna at the end:
#personal#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#sukuita#like whaaaaaat#Sukuna: did much more evil things to Yuji#Yuji: don't worry pookie I love you anyway#Mahito: looks at Yuji the wrong way#Yuji: I will rip you apart piece by piece and watch as the light vanishes from your eyes and-#-I will track down every future reincarnated version of you to do the same over and over until the end of time#like#I don't even like Mahito but my boy Yuji was WILD#he's down BAD for Sukuna I just can't see it any other way bro#also I might have forgotten some thing but tbh Sukuna has done so much shit to poor Yuji I can't remember it all#the point still stands lmao Mahito did a FRACTION of what Sukuna did and got no pity I love my absolutely whipped son#Yuji and Kenjaku both absolutely obsessed with their respective Ryomen twin the apple truly does not fall far from the tree lmaooo#Yuji really said he'd keep living with Sukuna no matter what anyone else might say or think and that he'd stay by his side till the very end#they make me absolutely and completely feral#these bitches gay#(good for them)
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demiromantic asexual riz gukgak save meā¦ save me demi/ace riz who canāt distinguish his romantic feelings for fabian from his platonic ones
#the demi experience of āis this a crush or are we just really good friendsā#yes im projecting shut up#not to mention fabian whose comphet goes so hard he canāt even consider the reason heās constantly bringing up riz around girls#mazey ily but baby do not date that boy#this has me thinking about that sophmore year moment where murph implies riz stayed up all night to watch fabian dance in fallinel#like Iāll throw up wdym he didnāt want to dance but still stayed to be with fabian#maybe this is the day I finally open a document and write a little scene about that#because murph simply cannot insinuate that and just expect me to move on#like. sorry ? he was there all night just watching him ? no way that wasnāt a night of an intense examination of his life and feelings#not that I donāt love the idea of aroace riz#it just fucks me up so bad when I read into all the accidental subtext murph and lou add so casually#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy spoilers#fabriz
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@homestuckss pinch hit for @topfsecret !!
Reluctant face of the Alternian revolution Karkat is NOT quite used to having an entire security detail yet, and isn't sure why they're all dressed like sci fi adventure movie characters??
to which I would say, if you're gonna be planning an underground revolution against a spacefaring despot why WOULDN'T you dress for the occasion. c'mon.
#homestuckss#hsss2023#topfsecret#karkat vantas#aradia megido#sollux captor#kanaya maryam#while its not explicitly shippy i did make sure to throw aradia & sollux in since u mentioned them in particular as good karkat pairings#theres options here lol#anyway the outfits are a little silly but i was going for kind of a movie poster vibe and i figured if theyre moving around in the daytime#that they would need hoods/hats/etc to stay out of the sun (except kanaya who is wearing hers for fashion and to match the crew)#i like the idea that all his friends shift into de facto bodyguard mode real fast once he gets established as like#the big special revolutionary poster boy#and that hes not really sure how to feel about that! because theyre still his friends who dunk on him and stuff#but theyre also constantly on the lookout for threats that might give them reason to kill and/or die for him which is a new element#ANYWAY. u got me thinking i hope that comes across here lol anyway happy holidays sorry for the wait!!!!!!#draws
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I remember being 18ā19-ish when I started listening to wtnv. I wanted to draw Cecil, but could never settle on what he would wear because I thought the clothes I liked would look silly on a grown ass man. Who dresses like that?
Now I'm 31 and I have realised that, indeed, the clothes I wear when I feel the most confident are those same outfits. And I love it.
#Realising you became what you dreamt but thought you couldn't be is such a weird but great feeling#There's still room for improvement#But yeah#Stay silly my friends#Most days I dress like a dad or a clerk because I am lazy#But whenever I want to look goodā¢ I end up wearing what my teen self wouldn't have him wear because it would be too much. This is wonderful#Didn't think I'd make it this far and oh boy teen me you had no idea#Rambles#wtnv#Or wtnv adjacent#things that make me feel#Debating whether to compile some ootds to draw him in
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congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.
#kazoo noises#charles leclerc#cl16#monaco gp 2024#zoomies posting#sports posting#like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work#weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town#because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough#for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson#(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL#BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared#(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand#gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and#there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are#gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker#(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have#him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born#maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner#sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives#gets to me#anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls š)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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#before somebody's gotta say that butcher is also shitty to ryan (which is true) ryan still prefers billy over homelander (and idc)#idk if something is wrong with me but ryan is clearly uncomfortable with homelander#like yeah they were drinking smoothies together spend their time etc#but he never opened up to homelander. he only talked about his feelings about his mom etc. with butcher#homelander is holding ryan close bcs he wants to feel better about himself. how you can feel so heartbroken when homelander asked ryan#is he not good enough for him (as a father) like why are you like that for your 10 year old son#im (not) sorry but i hope homelander will stay away from ryan#(i know a narcisstic father when i see one)#is butcher not good father figure as well? yes#but his and ryan's relationship was more built on truth that the relationship between homelander and ryan#butcher is massive ass but he is not ryan's mom rapist#the boys#the boys 4#the boys season 4#ryan butcher#billy butcher#homelander
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Honestly I think the scene in Paradise Found where Xena hallucinates herself snapping Gabrielle's wrist is one of my favourite moments of the show.
Like first of all the aesthetics and vibes of like 4/5ths of this episode (let's not speak of those painfully bad fiveish minutes) are immaculate, and that scene is beautiful, in an incredible and effective contrast to the horrific action on screen and Xena's deteriorating mental state.
But mostly I just love the unabashedly, disturbingly dark depiction of Xena. The sequence is framed as what Xena wants in that moment. "I'll show you what I want," is what she says. She wants to lash out, she wants to cause pain. There's the whole magical aura causing her dark side to like, gain strength of course. This isn't her average day-to-day state of mind, certainly not with Gabrielle. But the episode begins with Gabrielle pointing out that Xena enjoyed her latest fight, and wondering what's more important to her - the good she's fighting for, or the fight itself? And like, the whole point of this episode is to depict Xena's "dark" sadistic side as the most significant part of her, the core of her being, essentially. It's extra heightened here, but it's still ever-present elsewhere.
There is a significant part of Xena, a dominant part, even a driving part, that wants to hurt people. She harnesses that part of her to do good, but the show is sometimes wonderfully stark in its depiction of her darkness, and what it could lead her to do without Gabrielle's, and her own, tempering judgement.
Like, it's such a harsh little scene. It's sudden and intense and scary. And it's just so fucking gratifying to watch a show with a female protagonist who's allowed to be genuinely frightening, without even needing to change. Where the moral of the story is that yes, part of you is frightening, and potentially dangerous to those around you, but that part is still important.
The part of her deep, deep down that wants to hurt Gabrielle when Gabrielle mildly annoys her is necessary. One assumes that without a magical influence drawing it out, it would be a fleeting, easily dismissed wisp of a thought, rather than an overwhelming, hallucinatory urge. A moment of dumb, irrational emotion channeled into a later battle for good, or a workout, or hell, sex, maybe. But the seed is there, and the show revels in it, sans moral judgement. I mean, even in this very episode Xena's darkness is what saves the day. The show tells us that this is what makes Xena a hero. Her sadism doesn't need to be conquered, it needs to be harnessed and thrust in the right direction. And even more than that, it's something we're meant to enjoy about Xena, part of the core of what makes the show entertaining.
And it's great when it comes out in lighter scenes too, like a cupid's-arrow-influenced Xena sparring with Draco and full on backhanding him as foreplay, or telling Ares she likes the look of him impaled on her sword, or just when she grins as she improvises an entertaining way of fighting 10 mooks; and it's great when it comes out in dark but still action-oriented scenes, like her command of the Athenians in The Price, or her assault on the village in Ties That Bind, or even the Gab-drag.
But when that sadism comes out in a genuinely shocking, grotesque scene of disturbing, abusive, petty violence edited like a moment from a horror movie... well there's something a little extra delightful about that, to me lol. Even if it didn't actually happen, that image of Xena is so powerfully illustrative and interesting and, as far as I'm aware, virtually unique to female heroes in the way the urge behind it is still ultimately framed positively, and I adore it to pieces.
#i came to this show for the lesbianism but boy did i fucking stay for xena's dark side <333#xena#marley on xena#text post#i feel like this is potentially a controversial take since it's framed in terms of xena's potential to hurt gabrielle but like#that's part of what compels me about the ship honestly#(also shout out to the sin trade for another horror movie moment for xena - the rotted corpses of the northern amazon leaders#she murdered that are still in the trees. so good. truly love protags who get horror monster moments)
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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Amphibiuary Days 11 + 15: Painted and 3D
A holdable friend
#amphibiuary2023#hoo boy I put this one off for so long because I started it and was like#ehhhh this is not as fun as I was expecting lol#still had fun! just not my favorite thing to do#which is a good thing!#because I bought this at work a few years (!) ago and I keep having to stop myself from buying more ceramaic figures#every time we get more in because they are SO CUTE but I DON'T NEED THEM#and I think actually painting this one has cured me of that desire lol#this is a flattering angle and doesn't show his flaws lol#I put some of that snow texture paint on the back intending it to look like toad skin but it looks more like he is diseased#also! he lights up! but! when you turn the light on you can see all the poorly done brush strokes D: so the light will stay off :)#oh shoot I just remembered I meant to do a gloss top coat oh well I'll get to that later have a matte frogge
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I need a minute. to process the update
#I'm sososososoos sleepy it is overwhelming SORRY#I know I'm going to be killed every time I stay up to read the update and I knew I had a rough shift at work ahead of me but alas#I feel like I run out of things to say about the updates when they're not so directly about the 4 dia boys anymore </3#twst spoilers#I love rook though. he was so real for.... all of that#the reminder that Vil's overblot hurt Rook more than anyone else#that he trusted Vil more than anyone else and wanted to believe he wouldn't be willing to stoop so low#he was willing to die if it meant everyone else got along.... rook ily#and dear god they actually showed Neige's dead body... Not knocked out or in a coma#straight lined vitals and cold body#the dwarves begging him to stop being lazy and wake up...#(foreshadowing pleas e please please pleas pla plsplspslpslspl be foreshadowing for silver please I'll cry)#and the cut to Vil celebrating is ''victory'' at VDC after killing Neige.. it all felt so dark#even after what they pulled with Ortho in the last book I'm still surprised when they directly address characters dying and being dead#anyway very good update I had a good time#Idia's dumb fucking video was so cute and silly
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Guys the xfiles is good. I didnāt remember the first season being good but it is.
#dana scully I am in love with you. dana scully I need you. dana scully save me#watching squeeze rn. the bit where mulder is like the next time heāll strike is 2023 and youāll be head of the bureau by then. he believes#in her so much. he just wants her to succeed but also he doesnāt want her to leave him bc sheās the only one who gives him any respectā¦#and even though her career is important to her and you can see the damage this is doing to her rep already after only THREE episodes#she still stays with him because she believes heās a good agent!#sheās so young. sheās throwing her LIFE away#also itās soooo fucking funny watching mulder getting bullied by these grown ass man. in high school they called him cruel names like#āpretty boyā and āmodelā
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Jeongin having almost no votes on that poll makes sense to me, not because I think he'd do particularly bad but because I'm utterly certain if he ended up stranded with one of us he'd just up and leave and I wouldn't blame him
#he'd be like No. Sorry. Good luck. Bread baii.#seungmin is honestly a wild card bc he didnt get scared much in the haunted ep and he can be calm and level headed#so theres the chance hes actually a decent choice#but then I remembered him asking lee know if he could pick the cabbage with gloves and lee know was like ? Yeah... and i go Hmmm. No.#changbin is strong but also he's a lil city boy and he's a bit of a scaredy cat- hes gonna AHHH and im gonna AHHHH#and the creature will get us... But to go out in the strong arms and against the changbiddies of seo changbin? not a bad way to go#han is clusmy as hell and i think our personalities are similar so together? we'd die near immediately.#maybe by accidentally walking off a cliff or something not actually related to ghosts or strandedness#felix would be crying and freaking out and then I'd get annoyed bc crying makes me Uncomfy and i'd snap at him and then i'd feel SO bad#i'd have to give myself up to the entity as apology for being mean bc who could go on after that?#Hyunjin is gonna scream and im gonna follow suit and we're gonna get taken out also near immediately#but maybe he'd let me wear his versace glasses for a minute#so yeah lee know to me is the best bet š im still goin chan tho#regardless of if you get off the island or not: You- yes YOU- will be attacked and cancelled by stay twitter no matter what#im avoiding go to clean out my uncles house can you tell
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mmmmm heyyyšļø. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.
#it was so good tho#like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked#the fight scenesš¤#the environments/settingsš¤#all of the fuckin machineryš¤#the actingš¤#the everythingš¤#yum#also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hotš yes i have issues. but like. okayyy..#i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it#sorta vent->#but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part#because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without mešš#just tee bee ehch#and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit#so i just went to sleep#and i was busy today#yesterday*#and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit#idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is#i felt a bit better yesterday though#and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea#hopefully that helps soonish idk#i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here#also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged#so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there#why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg#anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow#idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea#talkin shit
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