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treasure-mimic · 1 year

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So, let me try and put everything together here, because I really do think it needs to be talked about.

Today, Unity announced that it intends to apply a fee to use its software. Then it got worse.

For those not in the know, Unity is the most popular free to use video game development tool, offering a basic version for individuals who want to learn how to create games or create independently alongside paid versions for corporations or people who want more features. It's decent enough at this job, has issues but for the price point I can't complain, and is the idea entry point into creating in this medium, it's a very important piece of software.

But speaking of tools, the CEO is a massive one. When he was the COO of EA, he advocated for using, what out and out sounds like emotional manipulation to coerce players into microtransactions.

"A consumer gets engaged in a property, they might spend 10, 20, 30, 50 hours on the game and then when they're deep into the game they're well invested in it. We're not gouging, but we're charging and at that point in time the commitment can be pretty high."

He also called game developers who don't discuss monetization early in the planning stages of development, quote, "fucking idiots".

So that sets the stage for what might be one of the most bald-faced greediest moves I've seen from a corporation in a minute. Most at least have the sense of self-preservation to hide it.

A few hours ago, Unity posted this announcement on the official blog.

Effective January 1, 2024, we will introduce a new Unity Runtime Fee that’s based on game installs. We will also add cloud-based asset storage, Unity DevOps tools, and AI at runtime at no extra cost to Unity subscription plans this November. We are introducing a Unity Runtime Fee that is based upon each time a qualifying game is downloaded by an end user. We chose this because each time a game is downloaded, the Unity Runtime is also installed. Also we believe that an initial install-based fee allows creators to keep the ongoing financial gains from player engagement, unlike a revenue share.

Now there are a few red flags to note in this pitch immediately.

Unity is planning on charging a fee on all games which use its engine.

This is a flat fee per number of installs.

They are using an always online runtime function to determine whether a game is downloaded.

There is just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to start, not helped by this FAQ which doubled down on a lot of the major issues people had.

I guess let's start with what people noticed first. Because it's using a system baked into the software itself, Unity would not be differentiating between a "purchase" and a "download". If someone uninstalls and reinstalls a game, that's two downloads. If someone gets a new computer or a new console and downloads a game already purchased from their account, that's two download. If someone pirates the game, the studio will be asked to pay for that download.

Q: How are you going to collect installs? A: We leverage our own proprietary data model. We believe it gives an accurate determination of the number of times the runtime is distributed for a given project. Q: Is software made in unity going to be calling home to unity whenever it's ran, even for enterprice licenses? A: We use a composite model for counting runtime installs that collects data from numerous sources. The Unity Runtime Fee will use data in compliance with GDPR and CCPA. The data being requested is aggregated and is being used for billing purposes. Q: If a user reinstalls/redownloads a game / changes their hardware, will that count as multiple installs? A: Yes. The creator will need to pay for all future installs. The reason is that Unity doesn’t receive end-player information, just aggregate data. Q: What's going to stop us being charged for pirated copies of our games? A: We do already have fraud detection practices in our Ads technology which is solving a similar problem, so we will leverage that know-how as a starting point. We recognize that users will have concerns about this and we will make available a process for them to submit their concerns to our fraud compliance team.

This is potentially related to a new system that will require Unity Personal developers to go online at least once every three days.

Starting in November, Unity Personal users will get a new sign-in and online user experience. Users will need to be signed into the Hub with their Unity ID and connect to the internet to use Unity. If the internet connection is lost, users can continue using Unity for up to 3 days while offline. More details to come, when this change takes effect.

It's unclear whether this requirement will be attached to any and all Unity games, though it would explain how they're theoretically able to track "the number of installs", and why the methodology for tracking these installs is so shit, as we'll discuss later.

Unity claims that it will only leverage this fee to games which surpass a certain threshold of downloads and yearly revenue.

Only games that meet the following thresholds qualify for the Unity Runtime Fee: Unity Personal and Unity Plus: Those that have made $200,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 200,000 lifetime game installs. Unity Pro and Unity Enterprise: Those that have made $1,000,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 1,000,000 lifetime game installs.

They don't say how they're going to collect information on a game's revenue, likely this is just to say that they're only interested in squeezing larger products (games like Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail, Fate Grand Order, Among Us, and Fall Guys) and not every 2 dollar puzzle platformer that drops on Steam. But also, these larger products have the easiest time porting off of Unity and the most incentives to, meaning realistically those heaviest impacted are going to be the ones who just barely meet this threshold, most of them indie developers.

Aggro Crab Games, one of the first to properly break this story, points out that systems like the Xbox Game Pass, which is already pretty predatory towards smaller developers, will quickly inflate their "lifetime game installs" meaning even skimming the threshold of that 200k revenue, will be asked to pay a fee per install, not a percentage on said revenue.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Hey Gamers!

Today, Unity (the engine we use to make our games) announced that they'll soon be taking a fee from developers for every copy of the game installed over a certain threshold - regardless of how that copy was obtained.

Guess who has a somewhat highly anticipated game coming to Xbox Game Pass in 2024? That's right, it's us and a lot of other developers.

That means Another Crab's Treasure will be free to install for the 25 million Game Pass subscribers. If a fraction of those users download our game, Unity could take a fee that puts an enormous dent in our income and threatens the sustainability of our business.

And that's before we even think about sales on other platforms, or pirated installs of our game, or even multiple installs by the same user!!!

This decision puts us and countless other studios in a position where we might not be able to justify using Unity for our future titles. If these changes aren't rolled back, we'll be heavily considering abandoning our wealth of Unity expertise we've accumulated over the years and starting from scratch in a new engine. Which is really something we'd rather not do.

On behalf of the dev community, we're calling on Unity to reverse the latest in a string of shortsighted decisions that seem to prioritize shareholders over their product's actual users.

I fucking hate it here.

-Aggro Crab - END DESCRIPTION]

That fee, by the way, is a flat fee. Not a percentage, not a royalty. This means that any games made in Unity expecting any kind of success are heavily incentivized to cost as much as possible.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table listing the various fees by number of Installs over the Install Threshold vs. version of Unity used, ranging from $0.01 to $0.20 per install. END DESCRIPTION]

Basic elementary school math tells us that if a game comes out for $1.99, they will be paying, at maximum, 10% of their revenue to Unity, whereas jacking the price up to $59.99 lowers that percentage to something closer to 0.3%. Obviously any company, especially any company in financial desperation, which a sudden anchor on all your revenue is going to create, is going to choose the latter.

Furthermore, and following the trend of "fuck anyone who doesn't ask for money", Unity helpfully defines what an install is on their main site.

While I'm looking at this page as it exists now, it currently says

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

However, I saw a screenshot saying something different, and utilizing the Wayback Machine we can see that this phrasing was changed at some point in the few hours since this announcement went up. Instead, it reads:

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming or web browser is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

Screenshot for posterity:

That would mean web browser games made in Unity would count towards this install threshold. You could legitimately drive the count up simply by continuously refreshing the page. The FAQ, again, doubles down.

Q: Does this affect WebGL and streamed games? A: Games on all platforms are eligible for the fee but will only incur costs if both the install and revenue thresholds are crossed. Installs - which involves initialization of the runtime on a client device - are counted on all platforms the same way (WebGL and streaming included).

And, what I personally consider to be the most suspect claim in this entire debacle, they claim that "lifetime installs" includes installs prior to this change going into effect.

Will this fee apply to games using Unity Runtime that are already on the market on January 1, 2024? Yes, the fee applies to eligible games currently in market that continue to distribute the runtime. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

Again, again, doubled down in the FAQ.

Q: Are these fees going to apply to games which have been out for years already? If you met the threshold 2 years ago, you'll start owing for any installs monthly from January, no? (in theory). It says they'll use previous installs to determine threshold eligibility & then you'll start owing them for the new ones. A: Yes, assuming the game is eligible and distributing the Unity Runtime then runtime fees will apply. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

That would involve billing companies for using their software before telling them of the existence of a bill. Holding their actions to a contract that they performed before the contract existed!

Okay. I think that's everything. So far.

There is one thing that I want to mention before ending this post, unfortunately it's a little conspiratorial, but it's so hard to believe that anyone genuinely thought this was a good idea that it's stuck in my brain as a significant possibility.

A few days ago it was reported that Unity's CEO sold 2,000 shares of his own company.

On September 6, 2023, John Riccitiello, President and CEO of Unity Software Inc (NYSE:U), sold 2,000 shares of the company. This move is part of a larger trend for the insider, who over the past year has sold a total of 50,610 shares and purchased none.

I would not be surprised if this decision gets reversed tomorrow, that it was literally only made for the CEO to short his own goddamn company, because I would sooner believe that this whole thing is some idiotic attempt at committing fraud than a real monetization strategy, even knowing how unfathomably greedy these people can be.

So, with all that said, what do we do now?

Well, in all likelihood you won't need to do anything. As I said, some of the biggest names in the industry would be directly affected by this change, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not just going to take it lying down. After all, the only way to stop a greedy CEO is with a greedier CEO, right?

(I fucking hate it here.)

And that's not mentioning the indie devs who are already talking about abandoning the engine.

[Links display tweets from the lead developer of Among Us saying it'd be less costly to hire people to move the game off of Unity and Cult of the Lamb's official twitter saying the game won't be available after January 1st in response to the news.]

That being said, I'm still shaken by all this. The fact that Unity is openly willing to go back and punish its developers for ever having used the engine in the past makes me question my relationship to it.

The news has given rise to the visibility of free, open source alternative Godot, which, if you're interested, is likely a better option than Unity at this point. Mostly, though, I just hope we can get out of this whole, fucking, environment where creatives are treated as an endless mill of free profits that's going to be continuously ratcheted up and up to drive unsustainable infinite corporate growth that our entire economy is based on for some fuckin reason.

Anyways, that's that, I find having these big posts that break everything down to be helpful.

#Unity #Unity3D #Video Games #Game Development #Game Developers #fuckshit #I don't know what to tag news like this

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prokopetz · 1 year

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A lot of folks are responding to the whole Reddit situation by calling for the return of decentralised forums, and I think it's important to remember that, contrary to certain popular narratives, the reason early 2000s forum culture has fallen by the wayside is not because people are Just Lazy. Certainly, ease of use is part of it, but a much larger part of it is how vulnerable self-hosted forums are.

Basically, the problem is that even the largest and most carefully managed self-hosted forums can be rendered unusable more or less indefinitely by a single sufficiently determined hostile actor. This can take the form of both attacks on the forum's social infrastructure (i.e., via sock-puppet accounts, botting, organised "raids", etc.) and attacks on its technical infrastructure (i.e., via hacking, DDoS, etc.). In either case, a self-hosted forum has no real defence, and the majority of decentralised forum communities survive only by virtue of their relative obscurity; once a self-hosted forum manages to attract the attention of That One Guy who's willing to devote his life to shitting the place up over some microscopic slight, it's effectively game over.

Right now, there are essentially only two mitigation strategies:

Gathering huge numbers of communities under a single, massively centralised technical infrastructure that's simply too large and robust for any one hostile actor to bring down; and

Hardening the community's social infrastructure either by going private and invite only (i.e., the Discord approach), or by making use of a vast centralised pool of volunteer labour to aggressively enforce community standards (i.e., the Reddit approach).

To be clear, these are not intractable problems; other solutions may well exist. However, any proposed plan for bringing decentralised public forums back needs to address them. If you're going in operating under the assumption that forums have become marginalised simply because corporations are evil and people are lazy, you're setting yourself up to learn the hard way why self-hosted forums no longer seem to be capable of growing beyond a certain point.

#computers #internet #technology #current events #reddit #forums #internet governance #swearing

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doolallymagpie · 1 year

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worldbuilding for my shadowrun-mass effect crossover fic is kinda neat

there’s two major human space-countries: the earth alliance and the systems confederation, and for “dealing with the council” purposes, their respective militaries are in a get-along shirt called the terran coalition

neither party is happy about it, and they’re constantly undermining each other (the ongoing drama between kahoku and mikhailovich is practically a soap opera for some people)

#mass effect #shadowrun #basically both main human factions are in an externally-enforced cold war and they can't even proxy war out of it #the corporate court might count as a third. ostensibly neutral in this situation (though they sure cozy up to the alliance a lot).#but given the complicated web of mergers and splits that have happened in the past century #calling them a 'human' organization is a stretch #'legions of geth accountants'

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yourheartinyourmouth · 1 year

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my job is so fucking stressful that people here burst into tears regularly and I didn’t even clear 40K in take home last year

but management is completely clueless as to why they can’t get or retain employees………………………..

#So many middle managers whose entire job is to have zoom calls where they pat themselves on the back for working hard #and THEY make like 80K #yesterday they brought in a person whose entire job is maintaining the state DMV’s Facebook and LinkedIn accounts #Of course she works in the corporate office and makes like 90K to basically do nothing #But the employees who do the actual work and keep the state going #Don’t even make a living wage #Almost all of my coworkers have second jobs or side hustles #one of my supervisors is a single mom w a teenage son #And she can barely keep food in the fridge #But someone whose entire job is to fart around on social media and take pictures of employees for a newsletter no one reads #makes at least TWICE my yearly income

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robertreich · 2 months

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youtube

Project 2025: The MAGA Plan to Take Your Freedom

A second Trump term would be more dangerous than the first — in part because of something called Project 2025, a plan to extend Trump’s grip into every part of your life.

Trump’s gross incompetence in his first term wasn’t all bad. It kept some of his most extreme goals out of reach. That’s why his inner circle, including more than 20 officials from his first term, have written a step-by-step playbook to make a second term brutally efficient.

At nearly a thousand pages, it’s longer than most Stephen King novels, and a lot scarier. The Associated Press wasn’t kidding when they called it “a plan to dismantle the US government and replace it with Trump’s vision,”

Project 2025 is a road map to ban abortion, give greedy corporate oligarchs everything they want, and strip Americans of our most basic freedoms — all without needing any support from Congress.

There’s more to it than I can get into, but here are three things I want you to know.

#1 How would Project 2025 work?

Every nonpartisan government agency would be turned into an arm of the MAGA agenda.

Some of the worst things Trump reportedly tried to do as president — like having the military shoot protesters or seize voting machines to overturn the election — were only stopped because sensible leaders in the military or the professional civil service refused to go along with it.

In a second term, there would be no sensible leaders in the military or professional civil service because Trump would fire anyone more loyal to the Constitution than to him.

Trump started the process in October 2020 with an executive order that would have let him fire tens of thousands of civil servants and replace them with MAGA henchmen. I’m talking about traditionally non-political positions, like scientists at scientific agencies and accountants at the IRS.

Trump could not act on the executive order then because he lost the election. If he wins now, he’s pledged to pick up where he left off and go further…

TRUMP: …making every executive branch employee fireable by the President of the United States.

#2 Project 2025 is about controlling Americans’ lives & bodies

Restricting abortion is such a big part of Project 2025 that the word “abortion” appears 198 times in the plan.

Trump largely made good on his campaign promise to ban abortion.

Thanks to Trump’s Supreme Court justices, 1 in 3 American women of childbearing age live in states with abortion bans. Project 2025 would make that even worse, without needing new laws from Congress.

Page 458 of the playbook calls for a MAGA-controlled FDA to reject medical science and reverse approval of the medications used in 63% of all abortions, effectively banning them.

Page 455 plans “abortion surveillance” and the creation of a registry that could put people who cross state lines to get an abortion at risk of prosecution.

Another way around Congress is to enforce arcane laws that are still technically on the books. Page 562 plans for a MAGA-controlled Justice Department to enforce the Comstock Act of 1873, which bans the mailing of “anything designed, adapted, or intended for producing abortion.” This could be used to block the shipment of any medications or medical instruments needed for abortions.

But Project 2025’s control of American families goes even further. It plans for government agencies to define life as beginning at conception — a position at odds with the process used for in vitro fertilization.

Page 451 declares that “Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society,” thereby stigmatizing single parents, same-sex couples, unmarried coparents, and childless couples.

Project 2025 even takes a stand against adoption, declaring on p. 489 that “all children have a right to be raised by the men and women who conceived them.”

#3 Project 2025 would turn America into a police state.

Maybe you live in a blue city or state, where you think plans like arresting teachers and librarians over banned books (which is on p. 5) could never happen. Well, guess again.

Trump has said one of the big things he’d do differently in a second term is override mayors and governors to take over local law enforcement.

Page 553 lays out how to do this, and even plans for Trump’s Justice Department to prosecute district attorneys he disagrees with.

Immigration enforcement is to be conducted like a war, with the military deployed within the U.S., and millions of undocumented immigrants rounded up and placed into newly constructed holding camps. This is outlined starting on p. 139.

Members of the Project 2025 team also reportedly told the Washington Post about plans to invoke the Insurrection Act to deploy the military against anti-Trump protests.

There is much more to Project 2025. There are more than a hundred pages of anti-environmental policies that would help Trump make good on what he reportedly promised to do for oil executives if they contribute a billion dollars to his reelection. It would make drilling and mining a top national priority while killing clean energy projects, barring the EPA from regulating carbon emissions, and replacing all government climate scientists with climate deniers.

There are even cartoonishly cruel plans like slaughtering wild horses. Yes, that’s really in there on p. 528.

I thought I understood the stakes of this election, but reading this plan… Well, it gave me chills. If Trump gets the chance to put this plan into place, he will. The country it would turn America into would be hard for any of us to recognize.

#youtube #Project 2025 #Video #Videos #Donald Trump #Election #elections #politics

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paper-mario-wiki · 21 days

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wait so how did you get a "boring" office job? did you have to go to college or did you just apply for basic stuff and work your way up from there?

it was 100% through connections.

i mean, i actually GOT the job and have been able to KEEP the job because i'm smart and capable and good at doing things and have made the company a lot of money, but if i didn't know the right people i would not have even had a chance at it, and it would be disingenuous of me to pretend otherwise.

most of the moment-to-moment skills i use for clerical work (the majority of my job) i gained in highschool through my fascination with computers + all of the programming and software classes i took.

the business and accounting classes i took in university primed me for a basic understanding of how to run a company (or at least how to manage one, as my exact title is "Business Manager"), and all of my anthropology and sociology studies have given me a pretty keen insight for communication, which comes in major handy in a corporate setting. i was able to latch onto Corpo Speak pretty quickly, which has proven to be an indispensable skill (if a bit soul-sucking to utilize).

i got this job after receiving 0 work or callbacks from Indeed after applying to dozens of jobs over several months, which is a very difficult idea to reconcile with for me. i feel like im pretty capable, but apparently people whose job it is to give other people jobs don't agree. in spite of this, in 2 years ive generated hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue for the company that decided to hire me because the owner saw me down on my luck and wanted to give me a break.

so i have to wonder, are we stupid, or are the companies stupid?

it's the companies. ive seen it firsthand. with this job, i go to business events and meet some of the most gullible people ive ever come across, and they're all CEOs.

they're so ravenously shortsighted with regards to their quarterly profit margins that they'd chase a 5 dollar bill the wind blew off a cliff for their shareholders. or more accurately, they'd push one of their minimum wage workers off the cliff to grab it.

because of that shortsightedness, conditions are getting worse, employment terms are becoming shorter, companies are shuttering left and right, pays are stagnant or lowering, and the growing number of people this inhuman greed affects are becoming more and more restless.

if you can't get a job in 2024, there's a very good chance it's not your fault. you shouldn't give up (unfortunately for now we still need to earn money to live in society), but try not to forget that.

#anon

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fratboykate · 1 year

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I'm totally in support of the writers in theory but I'm trying to understand more of what you're fighting for because I've seen some people on twitter claim writers make more money a week than most of us make in a month so I'm trying to understand what the issue is. Also if that info is accurate. This is a genuine question. Not trying to have a "gotcha moment". I really want to hear from a writer.

people have always had wild misconceptions about how much a writer earns because of their lack of understanding of how the industry actually works. there's so many posts about how "you guys make 5k a week. what more do you want?!" yeah...let's do some math on that.

5k a week for 14 weeks (and that's a long room. a lot of rooms these days are 8-10 weeks. those are the dreaded mini-rooms we're trying to kill) is $70,000. for roughly three months of work. you'd think we're cooking with gas...BUT HOLD UP. that's gross! let's see everything that has to come out of that check:

10% to our agent

10% to our manager

5% to our entertainment attorney

5% to our business manager (not everyone has one but a lot of us do. i do, so that's literally 30% immediately off the top of every check)

most of these breakdowns ive seen downplay taxes severely. someone made one that says writers pay 5% in taxes and i would like to ask them "in what universe?". that doesn't even cover state taxes. the way taxes work in the industry is really complicated, but the short of it is most of us have companies for tax reasons so we aren't taxed like people on w2s/1099. if we did we'd be even more fucked. basically every production hires a writer's company instead of the writer as an individual. so they engage our companies for our services and then at the end of the year we (the company) pay taxes as corporations or llcs (depending on what the writer chose to go with). my company is registered as a "corporation" so let's go with those rates. california's corporate rate is 9% and the federal corporate tax rate is 21%. there's other expenses with running a business like fees and other shit so my business managers/accountants/bookkeepers have recommended i save between 35-40% of everything i make for when tax season comes.

you see where the math is at already??? 25-30% in commissions and then 35-40% in taxes. on the lower end you're at THE VERY LEAST looking at 60% of that check gone. 70% worst case scenario. suddenly those $70,000 people claim we make are actually down to $28,000 as the take home pay. and that's if you're only losing 60%. it goes down to $21,000 if it's 70%.

lets pretend you worked a long 14 week room (that's the longest room ive ever worked btw) and let's also be generous and say you only have 60% in expenses so the take home is $28,000. average rent in los angeles is around $2,800-$3,000. if you're paying $2,800 in rent that means you need AT LEAST $4,000 a month to have a semi decent life since you need to also cover groceries, gas, medical expenses, toiletries, phone, internet, utilities, rental and car insurances, car payments, student loan payments, etc etc etc. and again, this is los angeles. everything is more expensive so you're living BARE BONES on 4k. and these are numbers as a single person. im not even taking having children into account. so those $28,000 you take home might cover your life for 6-7 months. 3 of which you're in the room working. the reality is that once that room ends, you might not work in a room again for 6-9-12 months (i have friends whose last jobs were over 18 months ago) and you now only have about 3 months left of savings to hold you over. we have to make that money stretch while we do all the endless free development we do for studios and until we get our next paying job. so...3 months left of enough money to cover your expenses -> possible 9 months of not having a job. this is how writers end up on food stamps or applying to work at target.

this is why we're fighting for better rates and better residuals. residuals were a thing writers used to rely on to get them through the unemployment periods. residual checks have gone down from 20k to $0.03 cents. im not joking.

they've decimated our regular pay and then destroyed residuals. we have nothing left. so don't believe it when they tell you writers are being greedy. writers are simply fighting to be able to make a middle class living. we're not asking them to become poor for our sake. we're asking for raises that amount to 2% of their profit. TWO PERCENT. this is a fight for writing even being a career in five years instead of something you do on the side while you work retail to pay your bills. if you think shows are bad now imagine when your writer has to do it as a hobby because they need a real job to pay their bills and support a family. (which none of us can currently afford to have btw)

support writers. stop being bootlickers for billion dollar corporations. stop caring about fictional people more than you care about the real people that write them. if we don't win this fight it truly is game over. the industry as you know it is gone.

#wga strike #writer's strike #hollywood #anonymous #answers #myposts

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doomwadz · 2 months

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☆ADAM LANZA ICEBERG☆

*this is a informational post!!*

this is my first iceberg, if theres ANY non-accurate information please put it in my ask or comment!!

if theres a topic im unfamiliar with—or not alot of information on, i will put a “★” by the topic.

TIER 1

☆12.14.12

12.14.12 is the date of the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting in Newtown, Connecticut by the perpetrator Adam Lanza. Killing 27 people (including Adam). And wounding 2.

☆AUTISM DIAGNOSIS

Adam was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at the age of 13, which would have been 2005.

☆SMIGGLES

Smiggles was one of Adam’s many usernames on the internet, he used it on a Columbine forum called Shocked Beyond Belief.

☆RYAN LANZA

Ryan Lanza is Adam’s older brother, born on 1988–he is currently 36 years old.

☆ALLEGED PEDOPHILIA

some people think Adam is a pdf file

☆28 VICTIMS

There were actually 27 victims in the shooting, but 28 (because Adam killed himself).

☆HARD DRIVE DESTROYED ★

also, this is just speculation; but alot of people thinks (majority of people) that Adam had cp on his smashed hard drive—?

FORGOT TO MENTION: he did have gore! they also found porn (not cp.) but detectives never said anything else.

☆CULTURALPHILISTINE

This is known to be Adam’s youtube channel started on September 7th, 2011

but it got shut down in 2021.

☆GAYFORTIMK & QUEERFORKIMVEER

i think this was a time that Adam had a tumblr! These were his usernames. i have some screenshots and somebody’s folder made for his tumblr.

and if you try to look for these links…they dont work (they work in the http/hmtl sense) they are people

who reuploaded his tumblr on their accounts and got taken down.

TIER 2

☆BIG BOOK OF GRANNY

The Big Book of Granny refers to a book that Adam and a classmate did in 5th grade in Sandy Hook.

The book is basically violent (for a 9-10 year old) to make, and there is cannibalism in the book too.

FEW EXAMPLES:

☆VEGANISM

Adam is vegan, there are some posts talking about how he only ate organic food. which its probably

not proven, he often spoke about not eating meat. There was a interview

with a woman and Adam Lanza, stating “He chose to be a vegan because people were

‘needlessly cruel’ to animals. Also, a tumblr post (https://www.tumblr.com/introspectionissexy/708027966023663616) stating what Adam said on a video of his, stating

“The McDonalds corporation exploits animals. I’ve been a vegan since i was thirteen but its kind of…completely retarded to think that youre actually accomplishing anything by not…being a vegan doesnt mean that you do not harm animals, by living, by choosing life you are…its life is innately harmful, life is innately coercive to everyone else…”

heres a list of Adam’s diet before he died:

Edamame

Green beans

Lima beans

Tomatoes

Cherry tomatoes

Silk brand Soy Milk

Flax seed

Purified water (with a mix of salt)

Celery

Organic pasture butter

Organic cranberry-pomegranate juice

☆”I’LL BOMB YOU”

This saying refers to a post made by the Reddit user u/brubz89 with the title of the post being

“i grew up across the street from one of the most notorious mass school shooters” explaining

his move to Connecticut during the summer. As the title suggests, he was neighbours with Adam Lanza.

explaining when brubz89, his sister, and Adam.

☆ANARCHY RADIO CALL

On december 20th, 2011–Adam called into Anarchy Radio, the host being John Zerzan, Adam had called

in using the name ‘Greg’. Adam called in to tell a old story (at the time) about Travis the Chimp.

☆ROOM 8 SURVIVOR

This may refer to a 6-year old girl that was a sole survivor that played dead in the classroom,

found by the police. Once she got out she told her mom that “Mommy, im okay, but all my friends are dead.” and said Lanza was a “a angry man.”

(picture of Room 8)

☆MKULTRA ★

didnt Adam hack into some government stuff…and treated at Skull and Bones Yale? hmmm…

☆ANTINATALISM

Antinatalism is a philosophical belief that having children are uneithical.

This stems from a video that Adam made on September 7th, called

“My Antinatalism” talking about his dislike for ‘culture’. with Adam stating

“I consider culture to be delusional values which humans mindlessly coerce onto each other, spreading it like no differently than any other disease.”

☆RYAN’S ID

This refers to when the shooting ended (when Adam killed himself) when his body

was found, Adam had Ryan’s ID. So, media thought that Adam was Ryan, Ryan came out on Facebook that Adam wasn’t him.

☆SEXUALITY ★

idk…alotta people think hes gay—😟.

☆SHOCKED BEYOND BELIEF POSTS

This topic refers to Adam’s post as Smiggles (i love that name) on

Shock Beyond Belief forum. the date when he started using SBB was

on December 20th, 2009. On Wednesday December 30th, 2009 he

posted the infamous oatmeal berry chip-nut cookies recipe.

☆NANCY WORKED AT SHES ★

i think she volunteered at one point, but no she didnt work there—and i think this is a misconception by the media.

TIER 3

☆THE GHOST OF ADAM LANZA★

This refers to a thing that some people believed that they could hear a hum in the school after the shooting. The humming went away, so its just some stupid false claim that people made up

just to get a scare or a reaction out of people.

☆FINAL REPORT

the final report is the final report of Sandy Hook—which it isnt because many changes had accrued over time.

☆KAYNBRED

This refers to Adam Lanza’s Wikipedia account that he used to edit

on—he created his account on june 7th, 2009. his activity on this

account was August 6th, 2009 - February 4th, 2010.

heres a list of he edited on Kaynbred:

Collier Township Shooting (talk)

Dawson College Shooting

Westroads Mall Shooting

Luby’s Shooting

Wedgwood Baptist Church Shooting

Kip Kinkel

Sello Mall Shooting

Sunnyvale ESL Shooting

☆35 PAGE ESSAY

This refers to 35 page essay that Adam wrote for a collage application about pedophilia.

☆REGALSIN

RegalSin was a infamous user that used SydLexia and Shocked Beyond Belief (a forum that

Adam also used.) And he had the same beliefs as Adam about pedophilia. From some

sources it seems he (RegalSin) got banned from alot of forums at that time. Lanza (Smiggles)

wrote on SBB

“Say whatever you wish, but i know my love for RegalSin is real.”

“Gay marriage is legal in my state, i was just holding it out for RegalSin.”

☆BLARVINK

Blarvink is Adam’s first Wikipedia account, created on

February 4th, 2007. His activity on this account would be—through

April 11th, 2007 - March 1st, 2008.

heres a list of articles he edited on:

Blue Clues (talk)

Rant (talk)

Zygote

Ngorongoro Conservation Area

Fall of Saigon

1980 October Surprise theory

Newtown High School

Benjamin Pierce

Gas Constant

Alvin York

Underdog

James Baker

Spoom

Into the Wild

Darwin Awards

New Zealand

Barack Obama

☆MASS MURDER SPREADSHEET

This refers to Adam’s spreadsheet of mass murders/murders, there are four sheets;

in total there are 395 mass murders on Adam’s sheet. (yes i spent 20 minutes counting that…)

☆ASTROLOGY BOOKS ★

Nancy Lanza owned astrology books

i dont know if Adam had a interest in them though.

☆149 PHOTOS OF ADAM

This refers to 149 photos of Adam. (Alot of the photos you see

are his college ID and his picture with tech-club. There was some pictures

that were missing that made 142 pictures open, but a user found them.

mostly there pictures of when Adam was a kid.

examples:

(yipppppe!!)

☆CRYINGHAMSTER★

This refers to a user on tumblr by the name of Cryinghampster who would post

Adam Lanza related things.

there account isn’t available anymore.

☆THE SHELTERED STORM

This topic refers to a book/story by the author Matthew Nolan. you can find were to read it on the Internet Archive. the description reads:

“The true story of the man-made disaster that struck the village of Sandy Hook, Connecticut on December 14th, 2012.”

for me, it seems like a pretty good read from what others say, so give it a try.

TIER 4

☆FUCKCOMMENTS

This part refers to Adam’s second Youtube account called “fuckcomments”

His persona seems different on this one—a little more joke/troll-ish. (?)

here are some:

yes, its little different than his more intellectual/philosophical style of writing.

☆SANDY HOOK LIGHTHOUSE

i think this refers to a website/blog that has information on the Sandy Hook shooting.

☆TEST SHOT ★

Adam drove to Sandy Hook Elementary School and Adam fired his gun at a car at the front entrance parking lot.

He just wanted to make sure if his gun was working.

☆ANOREXIA INDUCED BRAIN DAMAGE

In Adam’s final months he did have anorexia-nervosa, even if you looked

at his diet list, he did not eat that much—(he most likely ate

frozen edamame because it has less calories.)

heres the list of calories (he probably) ate in a day:

Edamame — 130 calories (if frozen) if cooked is 189 cal.

Green beans — 31 calories

Lima beans — 13 calories

Tomatoes — 22 cal.

Cherry tomatoes — 25 cal.

silk brand soy milk (or just average soy milk) — SLIK BRAND (110 cal.)

Flax seed — 55 cal.

purified water (w/ salt) — 0 cal.

Celery — 15 cal.

Orangic Pasture Butter — 100 cal.

Orangic Cranberry-pomegranate juice — 130 cal.

In total the amount of calories he was eating was 631 cal. which at his

height and for a guy isnt good and make you seriously ill and have muscle loss.

for 6ft you should be eating around 2,200-3,000 calories for a guy.

so, autopsy reports show that he did in fact, have brain damage from anorexia.

*i am NOT a medical expert…so take this with a grain of salt and this might be wrong but imma leave it alone.*

☆DAFT HANDS

this part refers to on u/brubz89 story about being Adam’s neighbour. a user by the name u/NotMyMainCuzReasons said this:

Actually there was a post on Reddit saying that Adam referenced Daft Punk - Harder, Faster, Better, Stronger.

and Daft Hands played that song.

also, a classmate of Adam’s reported that he used to watch this with Adam and

ever since, could not watch it.

☆LYME DISEASE

Some might say that Adam may have a undiagnosed Lyme Disease, which some sources bring up good points. Lyme Disease can be causer by Deer Ticks, which they live in woods. Adam’s house is near the woods. Also, lyme can also cause psychological/neurological affects. Many—like Adam has, panic attacks, major depression, anorexia-nervosa, and OCD.

Adam actually did have Lyme disease and some people said he had a goitre but it wasnt noticeable in pictures.

☆3 MONTH ISOLATION

before the shooting, Adam hadn’t left his room in 3 months in…isolation. Not even talking to anyone expect for people online.

☆NANCY HAD MAUCHUSEN SYDROME BY PROXY ★

(A theory) That Nancy has Mauchausen Sydrome by proxy because she would occasionally tell people that she was sick even though she wasnt. And Nancy did nothing about Adam because she had some “gratification” for it.

☆YOUTUBE BOOKMARKS ★

this refers to ALL of Adam’s youtube catalog (basically his videos.)

TIER 5

☆PSYCHOSIS

(speculation) theres many sources that say Adam might have psychosis (which may be very possible not just because he shot up a school.) there was personal messages

that Adam has sent on (it said Shocked Beyond Belief because of Smiggles)

heres a part that i found interesting that i do think he did

have psychosis:

“i dont have a persistent sense of fear that you described, but around once every couple months when i gotten arbitrarily fatigued and its around 12:00 - 5:00 in the morning, i have images of distorted faces flashing through my mind. They’re similar sort of similar to the ones towards the end of Terror House, at about 75:00. When i first saw the scene, i mentally flinched for a moment because of its similarity to what i imagined in the past.” - October 23rd, 2010.

and heres a few sentences what i find interesting aswell:

“Getting back to the subject of paranoia—those images were the worst ‘hallucinations’ i had experienced until a couple of weeks ago late one night when i was getting very tired. The incident was so surreal that i only remember a small amount of the details. Basically, i began to ‘see’ many different things. Although i knew that none of it was actually real, it came as close to being real as it could for me without it being physically tangible. I heard screaming around me, and i had overwhelming sense that there was someone dead behind me. I kept seeing silhouettes flickering people everywhere. I felt like i had to cry. The entire ordeal persisted for about fifteen minutes and sort of faded away. Prior to it happening i never had that sort of delusional hysteria before. It was possibly the strangest thing ive experienced.” - October 23rd, 2010

Also, i would like to note—that Adam also did have depression, and also individuals who have major/severe depression or depression in general can experience psychosis or psychosis-like symptoms. Now this is not saying HE DOES in fact has psychosis, i just think this is a symptom…? but this could be a mix of different things.

☆CONGENTIAL ANALGESIA

This condition is a disorder where you cannot feel pain, and many sources say Adam may have this condition. A Psychologist, Elizabeth Laugeson said that

“People with Asperger's can be overly sensitive to things like touch, noise and pain, or sometimes under-sensitive,”

Also, a friend of Adam’s said he didnt feel any pain because he used to burn himself.

☆PETER LANZA DEAD IN HOBOKEN★

(this is just a theory)

okay, some sources say that (im going to assume safely) that there where some theories that Peter Lanza

was dead. But, this can be debunked by a picture of Ryan and Peter leaving the Hoboken NJ—police. (?)

☆A TRIAL OF ADAM LANZA

This refers to a book by Dan Howitt:

☆https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=n4hsEAAAQBAJ

☆WOW VIDEOS

This refers to a time when Adam actually played WoW, he never really gotten

to level 60. Also, he did have WoW video gameplay—saved on his computer but none were released. Little bit is known about his accounts on WoW or his time on WoW.

☆LANZA HOME SOLF FOR 1$

After the shooting, Ryan inherited Nancy’s house—the bank took control after Ryan agreed to sell it for $1. but there was pictures of the home being demolished.

☆MARY SHERLACH

Mary Sherlach was the school psychologist at Sandy Hook—she was one of the first people killed, while trying to rush kids to protection. Her death was while confronting Adam in the front hallway. She spent 18 years at Sandy Hook.

☆16 HOURS OF MURDER MUSIC

this refers to a playlist that Adam made under the “Knavesmig”

user.

which, the name other this playlist was “Mass Murder Music”

(correct me if im wrong :3)

☆NANCY LANZA: IN HER OWN WORDS

i think this used to be a article that (used to exist) explained Nancy’s life

through her emails that she sent to her friend (sorry if this is incorrect.)

☆CLUSTER A PERSONALITY DISORDER

i dont think he had this—i think this is just speculation (like FXS) but no records or when you search it up—doesnt say he has it on have any signs.

☆GRAPHIC GORE ON PC

i think this refers to a search warrant conducted on December 16th, 2012 in Nancy Lanza’s house.

but this search document shows it was searched on january 7th, 2013.

but, on exhibit #608 on page 17, it states that

“Three (3) photographs with images of what appears to be a deceased human covered with plastic and what appears to be blood.”

also, in the fuckcomments account he did mention liking gore websites, linking a gore website (its possibly redacted for…obvious reasons). but i dont know if thats connected in the same way.

☆SELF-HARMING THROUGH BURNING

This refers to a time before the before the shooting happened that Nancy told a friend that

Adam was burning himself with a lighter. Nancy later told the friend that he burning

himself in “the ankles or arms or something.”

The friend of Nancy later told “The New York Daily News” that:

“She confided over a drink, “he was getting worse.”

TIER 6

☆NOBADMEMES ★

not much known about this one, but i tried looking for the mentioned “nobadmemes” on the audio transcripts of Adam’s videos. But it is known that he did mention it. maybe im just blind…lol.

☆PAUL FOX

Paul Fox was Adam’s psychiatrist

for five years before Adam shot up Sandy Hook. Paul Fox was 66 when he

sexually assaulted a teenaged girl. He faced up towards 18 months in prison after pleading

guilty to assaulting her.

☆RAPIDSHARE ACCOUNT

This was a account that Adam had, nothing known about it because his father (Peter) advised

authorities to delete his account. Also, if your familiar with Adam, you may know

that he had a known playlist on Rapidshare that was named “16 Hours of Mass Murder Music”

Which it was possibly filled with music that was about different mass murders.

take this with a grain of salt…

☆KNAVESMIG

This was the last account that is known Adam had last used on Wikipedia.

His account was created on June 19th, 2012 and it was active through

June 19th, 2012 - June 20th, 2012.

He didnt really write or contribute to anything…but ill list it anyway.

List:

Lord Gon (talk)

also! he had the last post of the discussion page, named “Hark.”

Which, ill leave some screenshots because i got way too happy when i found this!!

☆USED PISTOL IN SHOOTING

This refers to the guns that Adam used during the shooting.

ill list what he used (+ pictures) and ill explain this topic afterwards.

List:

Bushmaster AR-15 Rifle.

Glock 10 mm.

Sig Sauer 9 mm.

But, i would like to clear things up that—Adam did use the Bushmaster through out the shooting.

He used one of his handguns to kill himself with, (most likely with a Glock 10 mm.)

Also, just to clarify he also had a Izhmash Saiga 12 in his Honda Civic.

☆ONLINE FRIEND PREDICTS MOTIVE★

this was a girl that got investigated by the FBI and she said something on the lines of “killing children to ‘free’ them” (i cant remember and i dont have source for this…but it does exist!)

☆EULAVISM

This is basically the belief that Adam “created” which, the term eulavism with -ism and value spelled

backwards. Adam used this term in this sentence which…he talks about his

most favourite thing! VALUE!

“So, instead of an Efilist, im more of a eulavist. Eh, i only oppose life because life is the source of value and its value that i really hate. And, well, i guess that just says it all: i have a vendetta against value.”

Also, Adam says this on his video called “Rambling vlogrant of a ruminative vagrant (part 2/2)”

made on September 8th, 2011.

☆NIGHT ELF

This refers to the a 2010 video of a man dressed in a elf costume, Adam showed a online friend this video and Adam and the friend used to joke about the elf coming out at night to their house.

☆FRAGILE X SYNDROME

alot of people speculated that Adam had this, which…the size of his head—y’know…kinda explains why he looked like the way he did.

☆SANDYHOOKED.NET

Sandy Hooked . net was a website that was explaining the Sandy Hook case and Adam Lanza.

and also talked about rumours of certain aspects.

☆JULY 18TH

This part refers to pictures that Adam took in his “suicide poses” which, i will share

screenshots and explain them.

this was taken on July 18th, 2010 at 6:01 pm. This was found on Adam’s computer with a

filename “Kaynsu2” which i think Kayn refers to his name that Adam used on Wikipedia

during 2009 - 2010 (same time). It was in a folder named “fun”. He is using the Izhmash Saiga 12

that was later found in his car during the shooting.

this was also taken in July 18th, 2010 at 6:08 pm. This was also found on Adam’s computer

with the filename “kaynsu1” and was also in the same folder as “kaynsu2”.

TIER 7

☆STOLEN MAIL

A Youtube channel by the name “Miriam1” uploaded a video of a man driving up to

36 Yogananda Street on on December 17th, 2012, stealing Lanza’s mail and opening it.

…lol.

☆DDR GIRL★

Adam used to be known as DDR boy and a girl he used to play with—staff only known her as DDR girl.

☆FATHER JOHN J. CASTALDO

there was a blog that was talking about how Adam was SA’d by this catholic priest (?) and had multiple points why Adam didn’t really liked getting touched and certain things the way he did. (?)

☆ATF FORM 4473 ★

A form that is used if you want to purchase guns.

☆PEPPERMINT PARK

A creepy ass kids show that used to be on VHS tapes 1987 - 1988 and supposedly Adam liked this show…? (basically a bootleg sesame street.)

☆ARYANEMPIRES ★

This seems like a blog created by someone named “Joel” that uses Cryinghampster evidence for Adam Lanza, the blog seems skattered all over place (imo) so…idk. (was also a channel as well).

☆INTROARAL GUNSHOT

From Adam killing himself.

☆INMENDHAM

this refers to Gary Inmendham, i think his a philosophy content creator on Youtube. Adam mentioned him on his video called “Rambling Vlogrant of a ruminative vagrant (Part 2/2)” uploaded on Semptember 8th, 2011. Which he mention Efilism, which is a philosophical belief that Inmendham created.

Also, Adam supposedly liked watching Inmendham.

☆KIFFERSTUEBCHEN★

This refers to post on Reddit talking about they almost played with Adam, and they mentioned

that Adam had a KiFFERSTUEBCHEN account. And in German this means “gameserver.”

☆ADAM’S NEIGHBOUR

This refers to Adam’s neighbour ended up killing people as well.

TIER 8

☆FOOTAGE OF ADAM SHOOTING THROUGH FRONT WINDOW

this happens to be a rumour of footage of Adam shooting at the front window, though some people say that they saw it, but the front of the school cameras werent recording.

☆DIED IN HALLWAY

Dawn Hochsprung and Mary Sherlach died in the hallway, people thought it

was Adam, but Adam died in Room 10.

*btw the black part is his knees.*

☆9:46:54 ★

this refers to the time when the shooting ended. (which it actually ended at 9:40 am.)

but it could refer to the final shot.

☆THE HUM

The “hum” refers to a phenomenon that people consider “real” and it had reported cases that

some people could hear a persistent and invasive low-frequency humming—not not

everyone could hear it, and such cases where reported from the United Kingdom and United States.

Some people actually speculated it stopped when Sandy Hook happened, and teachers

reported cases of hearing it before the shooting—which again, this is proven false,

and a thing that some conspiracy theorist thought up…

☆GORE PHOTOGRAPHY

this happens to be a time when Adam was on his “queerforkimveer” account of Tumblr, and he uploaded

gore pictures of the corpses of perpetrators (such as Charles Whitman from 1966), after they killed themselves or got shot. Also, the post labels who is who and what guns they used in their attack.

☆MEDIAFIRE ACCOUNT

Newtown investigators found Adam’s Mediafire account—and the investigators claim

the content that was found on the account thought it was completely appropriate to delete

the account, Peter—signed a consent to assume online identity form to access rights

to the FBI and all data has been said to been erased. So, not that known about this

account—or even the name.

☆AE PAGE

this is kinda like the final report.

☆PRN CD★

it was found out that Adam did have porn in possession but detectives said that there was no illegal content.

(as we dont know.)

☆TRUE MOTIVE ★

i think this refers to a negative/narcissistic public presentation of his thoughts and beliefs.

☆MESSAGE WRITTEN IN NANCY’S BLOOD

this is a rumour that Adam wrote something in Nancy’s blood, but theres nothing that proves that.

congratulations! you made it at the end of iceberg! (ill link sources later…) thank you for

reading—this is my first iceberg, so sorry if my information is wrong. ill make more icebergs in the future. :)

★☆★☆

also credit goes to @kaynsui for the iceberg chart :3

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universalitgirlsblog2 · 6 months

Text

🎀🍓⚞🎀・◦・⚟ YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.🎀🍓⚞🎀・◦・⚟

🍓REALISE THAT LIFE IS A IMAGINATION.

You going to your job. Your job is your bosses imagination. He imagined a company that he wanted to create and then he put it into physical realm. So you are basically working towards your bosses imagination.

Countries are not real. We all collectively imagine a border but it's not real. It's all earth. Everything is earth but we imagine that those countries are separated.

Money is also imagination. It's just a piece of paper. We imagine that the amount of money in our bank is worth that much but it isn't. If tomorrow a big corporation says that the money in your account isn't worth that much or the money isn't in use anymore . It's not.

All this means that we all are living in a imagination. A dream . A game . Matrix. Whatver you want to call it.

We imagine everything we do. We imagine our future and dwell in our past which also doesn't exist. Future and past doesn't exist. Only this moment exists.

🎀REALISE THAT YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

We can create this imagination or dream however we want it to be.

🍓QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

How do I want to create my game , my dream ?

How do I want my imagination to look like ?

Who do I allow into my imaginations ?

How do I behave ? Who am I? What does my character look like ?

🎀BEING A VICTIM MAKES YOU FEEL SAFE

Being a victim is the most comfortable thing because you don't have to do much. Your life is a circle. Everything just keeps moving in the same way , in the same circle. But this is comfortable for you. Why ? Because you know what is going in happen in the circle. You don't have to take risks. You don't have to deal with different people.

🍓CHANGING YOUR LIFE AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS

To take a leap of faith , you need to be brave. It takes guts. Everyone wants to blame everyone . At the end you will be left no one to blame but yourself. Your life is shit because of you. People don't care about your victim mentality. You know when they care ? When you get out of it. When your life becomes a success story. David Goggins is not David Goggins without his success. No one would care if he was the same guy before.

🎀YOUR LIFE WILL ONLY CHANGE IF YOU CHANGE

Everyone moves on and you will be left behind. NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU. WHY ? BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU. The only person that can save you is you. No one is going to make you change.

🍓GROWTH IS : 2 STEPS FORWARD AND 1 STEP BACK.

Everytime you learn something,it's one step forward because you have more knowledge but if you put it into practice, you will be 1 step back because you are not used to it. You still have to continue. If you feel uncomfortable and give up, you will be right back where you started. Stop abusing yourself by being in the same circle that you don't like. Stop abusing yourself by being the same person that you don't like. Look in the mirror , we don't have anyone to blame. As a victim it's easy to run away and be like " I tried I tried", You didn't try and you didn't try hard enough . Try again . Try again until you get there.

🎀REALISE THAT YOU ARE ADDICTED TO DRAMA.

Alot of people when they come out of abusive household , later they will think that it's too peaceful . They will start to attract people that will give them that toxicity again because this is the only thing they knew. Realize that you are the creator of that drama though. You can choose to have a peaceful life. You can choose to have peaceful people around . If you can't find peaceful people , just be peaceful on your own for a while until you find someone that makes you feel peaceful.

Stop creating drama when it was never meant for you. Stop involving yourself in things that were never meant for you. Stop watching things that are so dramatic.

🍓REALISE THAT YOU HAVE CONTROL.

You have control who comes into your life , you have control about who you date . You have control about what you watch , listen to , what you read. You have control over what you put in your mind. Your mind isn't a dustbin.

If you decide to open the news and it's all negative and now your day is bad. Don't blame the news. Blame your eyes and blame your hands for putting that on.

🎀ASK YOURSELF : WHY DO I ALLOW THESE PEOPLE IN ?

"My friend , partner is toxic". Why don't you start looking at why you allow them in ? Don't you have control over who I allow into my life? Why don't you ask yourself ? What is it in you that you don't feel worthy enough of having people that actually respect you ?

🍓WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO FIX YOUR LIFE ?

What part are you playing in life ? You can cry all day about being overweight or underweight . Are you doing something to fix that or are you just crying all day ? What are you doing to fix your life?

🎀WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING BADLY YOU WILL FIND A WAY

When something wants something badly , they will get it done anyway.

🍓GO FROM COMPLAINING TO GRATITUDE

Turn your mindset around. Set your mind on a plan and focus on it . The more you start going from complaining to gratitude, the more your life will change. If you constantly focus on what isn't there instead of what it is , you create more of that.

🎀REALISE HOW PRIVILEGED YOU ARE

You are privileged and you want to talk about people in North Korea. They won't be able to see liz video or read this post since they don't have access to internet but you do.

🍓WE NEED THE GOOD AND BAD TO KEEP THE WORLD IN BALANCE.

This is how the world works.

🎀PAST AND FUTURE DONT EXIST

Accept your past and start working on yourself. It doesn't exist. You only have now. Don't dwell on the future. What are you doing now ? How you are now will determine your future and not the other way around.

🍓RECOGNISE THE WAYS YOU SABOTAGE YOURSELF.

Everytime something good comes into your life. Do you ruin it ? What in life are you doing that sabotages you ? You have to ask yourself these things.

🎀START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR

It's not fair what happened to you but whatver I do with it next , it's on you.

🍓TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST IS THE MOST SELFLESS ACT

If you don't take care of yourself , you can't show up as the best mother , daughter, employee or boss. You don't feel good . You are depleted and depressed. If you want to perform the best you want to be for others , then you should think about you first and nurturing you first so you are happy. If you don't feel good in your life , it's okay to take a step back from everyone and focus on nurturing you . Put yourself first . No is coming to take care of you.

🎀YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE

You deserve everything you want and you can get once you set your mind to it. Stop taking advice from people that you don't want to share lives with ,these people are miserable themselves.

🍓🎀 ⚞🎀・◦・⚟I LOVE LIZ SO MUCH. 🍓🎀 ⚞🎀・◦・⚟

495 notes · View notes

wandascosmic · 2 months

Text

your boyfriend, he's upset (4)

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

part four of 'you belong with me' series

summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office

word count: 2596

tags: slight homophobia, best friends to lovers, reader's so in love, wanda's as oblivious as it gets, to reader's feelings and her own, reader messing with sam even more, wanda joins in on the pranks, we hate vision in this one

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

“Hey,” Sam whispers to you as you’re reading over your files by the copy machine. “So, listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea if you and I formed an alliance, you know, ‘cause of the downsizing.”

You nod slightly, still keeping your eyes on your papers but acknowledging the fact that you’re listening to him. There was a rumor going around that Tony was possibly being forced by corporate to remove a couple of his staff, and because Sam was Tony’s biggest suckup, naturally he was worried about being laid off. You and Wanda had talked about it earlier, and you both weren’t too worried, since you knew you would remain friends. Plus, the only good part about your job in your opinion was seeing Wanda every day, so that would probably be the driving force that would make you miss this place at all.

“Would you like to form an alliance with me?” he asks lowly, like the two of you were on some sort of top-secret mission.

You meet his gaze, narrowing your eyes and looking over your shoulder as if to ensure no one was eavesdropping on your conversation. “Absolutely, I do,” you respond under your breath, imitating his spy-like tone of voice.

“Good, good,” Sam answers, crossing his arms and scowling around at the members of the office. “Okay, now we need to figure out who’s vulnerable, and who’s protected,” he points a finger to emphasize his point.

Sam continues to speak about his plan for the two of you, but you don’t hear him over the excitement bubbling up in your chest as he presents to you a way you can finally get back at him for all the times he’s annoyed you. Your mind runs through a million different ideas of how to prank him, and you try not to smile to give it away, doing your best to maintain a serious expression.

“Just one other thing, and this is important,” Sam states, and you snap out of your thoughts to play your role once more.

You lean closer to hear him clearly.

“This alliance is completely secret, ok? You cannot tell anyone about this.”

You nod, holding out your hand for him to shake. He takes it with a firm grip.

*** “An alliance?” Wanda asks with a laugh.

“Oh, yeah,” you shrug, leaning over her desk, acting nonchalant but giving her a look to indicate that it’s a joke to you too.

“What does that even mean?”

You break out into a smile. “I don’t know, I think it has something to do with ‘Survivor’, but I’m honestly not sure,” you joke.

Wanda chuckles at your jest.

“It’ll definitely involve spying on people, and we may build a fort in accounting,” you finish amusingly as she grins.

“Y/N!” Sam interrupts from across the room, your head snapping up to turn towards him by the fake tree in the middle of the office.

He narrows his gaze at you and Wanda suspiciously. “Can I talk to you for a second about…the paper products?” he lies, beckoning you over with a gesture of his hand.

“Good luck,” Wanda whispers to you.

You wink at her before walking over to meet Sam in the kitchen.

Wanda watches your retreating from with a smile and an amused shake of her head.

***

Slamming the door closed, Sam wastes no time in confronting you. “Did you tell Wanda about the alliance?” he accuses, pointing a finger at your chest.

“What? No-” you respond as if his accusation is completely ludicrous.

“Just now!” Sam shouts at you.

“Oh,” your eyes widen in fake realization. “Oh, no, no, no, Sam, no. I’m using her,” you clarify. “For the alliance.”

Sam looks at you skeptically.

“Who knows the most information about this office? Wanda!” you explain.

“Right, that’s good, keep doing it,” Sam says, watching Wanda work at her desk in suspicion through the kitchen window.

“Well, I’m trying to,” you answer. “Do you see what I’m doing?”

“Mhm,” Sam continues to analyze all of Wanda’s actions.

“But listen,” you get his attention, turning him back around to face you. “I’m gonna have to talk to her a lot, all right?” Sam nods. “And there may be chatting, and giggling, alright? And you gotta just pretend to ignore it, got that? Wipe it away.”

“Done,” Sam says.

“All right,” you acknowledge, patting him on the back and leaving the kitchen to head to your desk.

***

“You’re not gonna believe this,” you tell Sam in the parking lot between the cars, pacing back and forth with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face.

“What?” he asks with worry.

“Bruce and Nat,” you pause, stepping closer to him. “They’re forming an alliance,” you admit.

“What? How do you know?” he asks disbelievingly.

“I saw them talking at lunch,” you lie. In reality, they were talking about their favorite sandwich shop in New York and they let you join in on the fun. You actually managed to learn a lot more about the history of ham and cheese. “And if Bruce is in HR, and Nat is in accounting, think about it.”

“Oh, they are forming an alliance!” he grunts angrily, kicking the tires of a red car in front of the two of you.

“Okay, listen,” you tell him. “We need to assume that everyone in this office is forming an alliance, and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.”

“God, damn it! Why us?” he asks up at the sky.

You hold his shoulder as he makes eye contact with you. “Because we’re strong, Sam. Because we’re strong.”

***

“Hey, Y/N? Can I talk to you for a second?” Wanda asks, her arms crossed as she comes up to your desk, seeming as if something was weighing her down.

“Sure, what’s up?” you ask, swiveling around in your chair to face her.

“Um, I don’t know, I’m just going a little crazy,” she explains. “‘Cause I keep overhearing all of these conversations between Tony and corporate.”

Sam’s ears perk up as he hears Wanda’s confession from his desk next to yours.

“And they’re all about like, staff issues,” she continues.

You smirk as you see Sam’s brows furrow out of the corner of your eye as he pretends to keep reading his magazine.

“Oh, no,” you respond, leaning your elbow on your chair’s armrest and putting your chin in your hand.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “And he’s making me take notes on all these meetings, and I’m like, “These people are my friends,”” she says with worry.

“Right,” you acknowledge.

“But he’s all like, “This is confidential, you can’t tell anybody,”” she imitates. “But I don’t know, I just feel like I need to tell somebody, you know?”

“Yeah, of course,” you assure her.

“Anyways, just promise me you’re not gonna say anything?” she asks you nervously and pulling her sleeves over the back of her hands.

“I will not tell anybody,” you promise. “This is between you and me.”

“Okay,�� she says with relief and blows out a puff of air. You get out your chair and follow her back to her desk.

“I didn’t know you were an actress, Maximoff, that was perfect,” you whisper to her, stopping at reception, and drumming your fingers on the table.

“All in a day’s work, L/N,” she repeats your phrase back to you with a cheeky grin as she sits back down.

You shake your head in amusement. That was all her idea too. Leaning on your elbow and putting your head in your palm, you admire her quietly as she starts typing on her computer, giving you small smiles every now and then. You sigh softly, she’s so amazing.

***

“Okay, here’s the deal,” you let Sam know in the kitchen, locking the door and peeking through the window to make sure no one’s listening. “Wanda says that one of the alliances is meeting in the warehouse during Jennifer’s birthday party later today.”

“Oh my god, we have to be there!” Sam responds.

“I know! But it’s gonna be a little tough because there’s no good place to hide down there,” you explain.

“No, no, yes there is behind the shelves- oh my God,” Sam’s eyes widen.

“What is it?” you ask with curiosity.

“I know exactly what to do.”

***

“This is not what I had in mind, Sam,” you say as he steps into the large cardboard box in the middle of the warehouse.

“Shut up, this is gonna be perfect, Y/N. It’s got a central location, and it’s the perfect cover. I can see and hear everything,” he answers.

“Okay, good,” you respond, as he sits down in the box. “Wait, this isn’t gonna work, the lids open,” you let him know.

“So tape it down,” he answers obviously.

“I can’t do that,” you squat down at his level. “You won’t be able to breathe.”

He rolls his eyes. “Look, I can breathe just fine, okay, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll poke holes in the box.”

“Thank you, okay,” you nod, standing up and closing the lid.

“God, you’re so needy, Y/N,” he says.

“Yeah, thank you, Sam,” you say sarcastically. “So, do you want me to stay here, and you know, stand next to the box?”

“No,” he retorts, opening up the lid from the inside. “You need to go upstairs to the party, so people don’t notice that we’re both gone.”

“Right. That’s good.”

You poke a couple of holes in the box as well as two peepholes before taping the lid shut.

Letting Sam know that you’re finished, he tells you to leave to go to the party. “All right, let me know if you hear anything,” you tell him, walking backwards slowly, and trying your best to hold in your laughter.

Once you’re at the bottom of the staircase you turn to rush upstairs to let Wanda know about what your shared scheme has led to.

***

“He’s in a box?” Wanda asks disbelievingly as she looks up at you from her chair.

“Wanda, he’s in a box!” you laugh, eating a bite of Jennifer’s birthday cake and leaning further over her desk. “He’s downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shelves.”

Wanda laughs.

“I’m serious! Go down there, check it out, and work your magic,” you say as you point your fork at her with a mischievous grin.

Wanda bites her lip in mischief, nudging her head towards the stairs for the two of you to go mess with Sam even more.

Wanda steps down the stairs loudly to make sure Sam can hear her arrival, while you trudge behind her as quietly as possible ready to watch the scene unfold before you.

Stopping at the last few steps, you point towards the box Sam is in, and Wanda walks towards it, pulling out her phone.

“Hey, where are you?” she says as if she’s on an important call. “Yeah, we were supposed to meet here.”

You bite your fist to hold in your laughter.

“What?” Wanda says with fake shock. “Oh my gosh,” Wanda says as she covers her mouth to hold in her laughter. “That ties in perfectly with something that Tony was telling me earlier!” The two of you look at each other with enormous grins as you both notice Sam trying to tear open the box from the inside with his pocket knife. “Yeah, I just don’t know what people, in like, accounting are gonna do,” she says as if she’s stressed. “It said specifically that-”

Sam falls over in his box and the two of you nearly burst out in hysterics.

With Sam letting out a groan of pain, Wanda shuts her phone and runs towards you with a huge smile on her face and grabs your hand absentmindedly, the two of you unable to control your laughter as you both make your way back upstairs.

***

“Wanda!” you say excitedly as you run around her receptionist's desk to stand behind her chair. “I have something that totally tops the box.”

“Oh, tell me, tell me,” she says eagerly looking up at you.

“Okay,” you start with a big smile on your face. “I have just convinced Sam that he needs to go to Stamford, and spy on our other branch.”

Wanda muffles her laughter with her hand.

“No, no, no!” you continue. “But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.”

“Oh my god,” Wanda says, putting her head in her hand as she tries to stop her overwhelming urge to fall to the floor in hysterics.

The two of you break out into a fit of laughter together, and in the heat of the moment, you wrap one of your arms around her shoulder and place your palm there and hold her hand with the other.

“If we can get him to drive to Connecticut, and put peroxide in his hair,” you continue through your laughter, the two of you unable to stop your giggles.

“What the hell is this?”

Your heart drops as you hear the sound of Wanda’s fiance. Stopping your laughter immediately, you take a big step away from Wanda and turn your head, making direct eye contact with Vision.

“What are you trying to cop a feel or something, L/N?” he asks in anger.

“No, no, no-” you try to explain.

Vision’s anger overcomes him further and he starts to stalk towards you in rage. You take a couple steps back in fear away from him.

“Vis! Hey, hey, stop!” Wanda interrupts, putting herself between the two of you and placing the palm of her hand on Vision’s chest.

Wanda looks at you wide-eyed as Vision continues to glare daggers at you.

“God, I don’t even know how to explain this,” you say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. Whether that was in fear or nervousness you didn’t know, but this was definitely not an ideal situation. “Um,” you clear your throat. “Sam asked me to be in an alliance,” you state, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “And, um, we were, we’ve just been messing with him, you know, because of the whole alliance thing.”

“Yeah, it’s just office pranks,” Wanda explains to her fiance, rubbing his arm to calm him down.

“Exactly, it’s just office pranks,” you agree.

“An alliance, what the hell is he talking about?” Vision asks Sam who stands by the fake tree.

You look at Sam, silently apologizing and urging to explain the situation.

“I have absolutely no idea,” Sam replies, ignoring the situation before him and plopping down at his desk to make his sales calls.

Your mouth parts slightly in shock.

Vision looks at you angrily. “C’mon,” he tells Wanda, shoving her in the direction of the door while never breaking eye contact with you. Wanda tries to give you an apologetic look as she walks out but you don’t manage to meet her gaze as her fiance continues to intimidate you.

Once Wanda’s outside, Vision stalks even closer to you, and at this point you’re nearly completely back to back with the wall. “You know she’s not gay, right?” he tells you venomously.

Gulping, you nod.

He narrows his eyes at you in anger, before finally deciding to walk out and follow his fiance.

Standing awkwardly at Wanda’s empty receptionist’s desk, you walk quietly towards the ledge and lean onto your elbows, and sigh softly into your hands.

part 5

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wandamaximoff #wanda maximoff fluff #marvel mcu #mcu #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda marvel

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cathkaesque · 2 years

Text

When it comes to understanding migration, this needs to be taken into account: if you are in a rural area in the global south, like Honduras, you have basically no access to social services, medicine, and education. In fact, the funding for those services is actually being cut, as the social security funds have been looted by corrupt politicans appointed by a military coup. Then you have to factor in that you likely have no access to the land, and no access to credit to buy seeds, and have to sell yourself for basically pennies to an agroindustrial giant. The peasants feed the local people; the agroindustries feed the Americans. In Guatamala, there is a neo-corporate fuedalism where you are allowed a patch of land if you are willing to work, unpaid, for coffee plantations which sell their produce to the German company Ritz. If you attempt to settle unoccupied land, a local businessman will claim it is his without any proof, and the police will take his side because the Agrarian Reform Institute, which issues land titles, is controlled by coupists whose main concern is squeezing as much wealth out of the country as possible. Thugs will murder a man and his wife in broad daylight, and the judge will respond by evicting you and your family from the land.

There is nowhere else for you to go but Tegucigalpa, where you can work trying to wash car windows or selling snacks to passing cars for a handful of lempira a day. Or perhaps you could work for a few dollars a day in one of the maquila factories making textiles for the American and European market, which are set up in special economic zones called Charter Cities where the constitution and labour laws do not apply, which can close down and spirit away whenever they like to another country when they are more willing to sell their people for even less. And then you have to factor in the hurricanes that sweep through the country, destroying everything, that the rains no longer come when they used to but when they do they come in flooding torrents. Much of the north of Honduras is currently underwater; most of the banana and coffee plantations have been destroyed.

And then you factor in when you tried to change this via electing a better government in 2006, he was overthrown in 2009; when you tried to get organised and resist the coup, your friends, your loved ones, your trade union leaders and peasant resisters all turned up mysteriously dead while the military and police worked with drug gangs disguised as agribusiness like the Dinant coproration to burn down villages that opposed them. For trying to change things in the way that you were supposed to, through non violently protesting, organising, and voting for something better, you were subjected to a decade of counterrevolutionary terror and violence that the “international community” not only ignored but gave its active approval to. All of the factors listed above have not only been ongoing for the last 10 years, they’ve been intensified, hothoused by the global counterrevolutionary terror that was the response to the 2011 wave of post-financial crisis uprisings and revolutions and accelerating climate apocalypse.

And at the same time, all of this is being done so more of the country can be turned into a massive cash cow for the benefit of foreign corporations and domestic oligarchs. The wealth of your country is siphoned off and flows around the American and European financial system, benefiting them and building a consumer disneyland that looks like paradise compared to your situation. That could, even if you are worked for nothing, give you a few dollars to send home that could build your abuela in the countryside a nice home for her to live out her days. What other option is left for you and your family other than joining the exodus of people heading north, to the countries where the wealth and profits and rewards of your homeland’s suffering are being kept. And after you cross mountains and rivers which freeze you to death and sweep you away, you are faced with a massive border wall of ahte and soldiers on horses which hit you with sticks. You are faced with an immigration detention centre that will chain you to your bed while you give birth and separate you from your baby who will be given away for adoption to a white couple. When you make a charge against the border fence in Melilla, fed up with being kept in shacks with nothing while the Northerners debate what to do about the problem people their greed has forced to move, the Moroccan police will beat 35 of you to death.

And then when you get there to that golden paradise, you end up doing work not dissimilar to the work you were doing back home, working for pennies (though pennies that are valuable enough back home to buy the family that remain the tiniest slice of comfort) for an agroindustrial giant that supplies supermarkets with cheap produce picked by cheaper people. While you work in the fields, a crop duster plane will spray you with paraquat; when support organisations try to raise this with OSHA they will ask for the plane’s number, and when this can’t be provided they will say nothing can be done. In fact, inspectors are ordered to stay away from the plantations on the Texas border. A member of the Border Agricultural Workers Project says she hasn’t seen a normal child born on the border in 20 years, such is the effect of agrichemicals. If you fuck up in the slightest, have any interaction with the state, you will be deported and sent back to square one. There are a 14 million migrants in the US in the same precarious state, effectively without any way of enforcing their rights. My aunt is a Mexican migrant in California. Her son was deported because he got a speeding ticket. It was 15 years before she saw him again, other than through the bars of the border fence, when she finally got her green card.

The situation in Honduras can be repeated for almost any other country. Syria, Venezuela, Iraq, South Sudan, Libya, all the headline countries are countries that have been subjected to a severe counterrevolutionary terror. The processes of dispossession and destruction of peasant economies and communities (primitive accumulation to use the Marxist jargon) have been hothoused over the last decade by war and violence. I just wish that relatively comfortable people in the imperialist countries realised that the “migrant crisis” is the result of policies that their governments forced on others. Violence that their elites made their fortunes off. What a monstrous, barbarous way of life we have.

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