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gothamundernightlight · 5 months ago

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Random Shit the Waynes Do on Social Media

Dick:

- The white whale of D1 and Olympic gymnastics athletes; always stitches their stunts and challenges, executing them perfectly, but no one knows who he is or who trained him

- Shares pictures of random children, and the whole internet becomes a detective trying to figure out if Bruce Wayne adopted another kid or if his gymnastics students won another trophy

- Photo montages of Haley being the cutest, which slowly transitions into Haley in whatever cute hat the internet can send to Dick’s PO Box

- Random video of him skydiving while giving tips on what to do if your chute doesn’t deploy. He never deploys his chute doing the video and no one can tell if it’s a bit or not.

Jason:

- AI Voiceover text posts providing surprisingly insightful analysis into classic literature

- A full six part rant on the Broadway adaptation of “The Great Gatsy”

- Random selfies complete with wildly made up backstories of any and every new injury he has

- Prank war on Damian specifically (this was intended for Talia but his finger slipped and now the whole internet loves it)

Tim:

- Randomly goes live to do study/work/research with me sessions complete with an actually decent Lofi soundtrack that no one can find (He totally mixes it himself but won’t admit it)

- Did ONE social media vlog for WE’s marketing division and it went so viral he gets forced to do more. The dead eyed stare he gives the camera with every stupid dance the intern teaches him makes the video top-tier

- Cute couples videos with Bernard

- Skateboard tricks (and fails)

- Screenshots of text conversations between him and his siblings discussing the most random shit??

Cass:

- Dance routines/pre-show/GRWM videos

- Shakily filmed videos of her kicking Dick’s ass and everyone just calls her a baddie in the comments. She doesn’t know what that means but she appreciates the love.

- Her and Steph’s late night food runs with the two of them just belting out to a song in a dark parking lot

Steph:

- Posts riddles and puzzles and how to solve them. She’s really good at it. Riddler hates her.

- Apartment tour of all the purple shit she owns. She’ll never admit that the room she’s showing off is her Wayne Manor bedroom, so everyone believes she just has a moderately sized loft apartment somewhere and she just never shows the kitchenette

- Her and Cass’s late night food runs with the two of them just belting out to a song in a dark parking lot

- POV shots of her going up to the boys asking them random questions. Dick matches her energy. Jason tells her to fuck off. Tim is barely conscious. Damian always has an overly rational answer to take the fun out of it. Duke just stares blankly at her (he always comes back later with a proper answer now that he’s had time to think about it). Bruce just stares blankly at her

Damian:

- Art reveals that never get many views but he’s still proud of nonetheless. Dick always comments on them to hype him up

- Accidentally recreates a popular vine that went viral and it’s just him insulting fellow GA kids under his breath but one of them says hi to him and he’s instantly polite back. His most popular video

- The multi-part experiment of him trying to Pavlov Tim, and when it actually works, Tim just chases Damian around the manor. The video cuts to black frames after Tim takes a flying launch at him

- All the pet videos. There are so many. People try to cancel him for exploiting them, but Damian clearly demonstrates that he would never force his animals to participate for views and how they will just leave if they don’t want to do something. Batcow is in the background just two-stepping unprompted

Duke:

- Every morning without fail, he posts a daily sunrise pic of Gotham, with a positive affirmation caption. One day he’s sick and he wakes up to a thousand messages of people panicking because their favorite poster has disappeared. He never misses a sunrise again

- Passionate rants about local government. Will not shut up about it. He might be an anarchist, but he’s forever remain optimistic that one day the systems that define society will one day actually work for all people. Bruce has every single one saved so he can implement Duke’s ideas into reality

- Boxing videos of him training with Luke. It’s never meant to be a thirst trap…but sometimes it is

- Dumb selfies. Duke unironically loves taking them, no matter what face he pulls, what filter he uses, not even caring where he is. This gets him in trouble the one time he posts one of him leaning off the edge of a high rise roof

Babs:

- Constant lectures on cybersecurity and internet safety. She teaches this at the library as a volunteer but feels she can reach a lot of people by building a platform

- Computer build stuff. Brands reach out to her for her reviews and she thoroughly discusses each product in length

- Rarely posts about her disability, but absolutely tears people to shreds when they make ableist comments about her. The only time she brings it up first is when City Hall takes over a month to fix their elevator and she calls them out on it

Harper:

- Electronics repairs. She constantly takes things apart to teach people how to fix it, and this can range from toys to cars. On more than one occasion , her video has been interrupted by someone who planned to be using the vehicle she’s just taken apart

- 2 AM hair dye/maintenance sessions. She constantly gets comments from men being like “Therapy works too, y’know” or “No, you’re so beautiful? Why would you do that to yourself.” She responds to the comments with a video of a gun pointed at the camera with the sole caption being “Fuck Off.”

- Gym videos. She and Dick work out together and he’s the ultimate hype man

- Outfit montages of her getting ready for a random gala and she’s always pulling off the most masc-looking suits that look gorgeous on her

Helena:

- Target practice. She does all kinds of trick shots and crazy crossbow stunts in a wide variety of outfits. Her most popular video is of her in a corset and platform heels.

- Her and Steph bonding over all things purple

- Outfit of the Day posts. The girl has expensive tastes and she absolutely shows it off.

Bruce:

- Occasionally does promo stuff for WE (because Tim refuses to do all of it, and their social media intern won’t back down)

- Shares absolutely wild stories from his college years that somehow always get proven to be true even when the whole comments section is just like “this seems false???”

- Kid tour. He saw one mom do it and felt sad bc he’s never get the kids to agree, but somehow they all did (Alfred bribed them.)

- Shares everything from each one of the charities he’s involved with. Has reposted every single one of their posts on his own personal channel. It raises them hundreds of followers each time.

- One of the kids posted a video montage of Bruce being Brucie and it’s so utterly humiliating? But he won’t delete it because all of the comments say he’s their favorite billionaire and that’s more than his own kids will say.

- Random Pride Month post. Every year it catches people by surprise and every gossip magazine always wonders if Bruce is coming out. He’s just being an ally (and potentially is in denial).

Alfred:

- Prefers not to use social media, but one of the boys filmed him doing random things to teach the internet how to do things properly, like making the bed, doing laundry, etc. Is the internet’s favorite grandpa.

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luvly-writer · 4 months ago

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Crimes of a Mother

Ch. 2 Under the radar

Batfamily x reader

-•-

Authors note: Hi!! I am SO! EXCITED!! This fic is getting so much love and it genuinely warms my heart so thank you all for reading. This chapter went through a lot of editing. This fic will have slow updates. If you want to be added to the taglist, leave a comment or a reblog!

Warnings: none so far

Taglist: @nxdxsworld @give-jack-a-lightsaber @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @can-i-feel @n4muar @snowy-violet @ferakillia @mariadvorak @idonthaveanameforthisacc @yandereheros

Masterlist:

-•-

-•-

Y/n would come around the manor one a week for dinner. They enjoyed her presence a lot. Hearing about her childhood was refreshing truly. She had the childhood and teenage hood none of them got to have and they were glad. She was family, even if she didn’t know it. What was frustrating though was that she never spoke of her investigation or her findings. When asked, she would just show a knowing grin and shake her head. She was unto them. Damian would observe her mannerism like a hawk. It was undeniable she was Bruces child.

She still followed them during the night, a difficult thing to get rid off. They tried grappling away, smoke bombs, the shadows, she would catch them. Whether it was by foot, roof, or car, she was watching, camera in hand and her bag slung over her shoulder. Some days, they noticed her two friends would be with her. The camera woman, the getaway driver, and the lookout, they were an excelent team. They had been thinking of ways to confront her about it in mask but everytime they tried, she was with them. It was a slow night for patrol in a crisp November night and the fastastic trio, as they had named them were out on the hunt. Taylor was on the drive seat, Y/n was on the passenger seat and Charlie stayed in the back.

-“he looked at he as if I was some sort of freak for suggesting that his strategy was absolute shit and went for my shoes, MY!! CLEETS!! That man is absolutely gay, I’m calling it!!!”

Charlie exclaimed complaining about the captain of his soccer team, who he was sure had it against him.

-“Maybe it’s an enemies to lovers trope” (T)

-“You know those never work in real life” (Y)

-“Unless you add sports and a heavy load of sexual tension” (T)

-“Instead on knife to the throat it is a cleet” (Y)

-“THAT’S FOUL” (C)

The three laughed as they ate Batbuger. Batman, Nightwing, Robin, and Red Hood watched the scene from above in the shadows; both appretiating the girl enjoying her life and protecting the car from posibble danger. Maybe they were living vicariously through her and her sense of freedom.

-“So hows the investigation coming through?”

Asked Taylor with a mouthful. At that, they all perked up. Yn chewed and motioned to pull up the windows. As they did, Jason shot a small hearing device before the window closed. It stuck to the floor under one of the seats without any of the three noticing. They turned on the volume and connected it to the comns. Everyone was listening.

-“First of all, ew, dont talk with your mouth open and second of all, which of the three?”

-“Three? She has three undergoing investigations?!?!”

Whisper-yelled Dick and Jason shrugged.

-“Umm all three? I mean, we aren’t risking our necks in the middle of the night in a random dirty ass alley in Gotham just to get halfsies”

Charlie argued

-“Fair, let’s start with the least complicated one, Batman’s identity…”

Even though, Stephanie, Cass, and Duke were patroling on the other side of town; and Barbara was at the cave with Alfred, they were all intently listening. Finally, she carried on,

-“I have been tailing him, well them for weeks. They are eight in total that take turns patroling. Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Black Bat, Signal, and Spoiler. They have been knowing I have been following them ever since the second week of university, but we all know I started the night I went to Wayne Manor. They vary in sizes and thankfully, I was able to get enough pictures to get their heights and test their tracks for estimated weight, see-“

She opens her laptop and shows them; Bruce tries to zoom in with his lenses and see.

-“She’s got most of them correct”, he mutters

-“This somewhat narrows it down. We are looking at four blackettes and a blonde, Signal and Black Bat are still a mystery. Signal is black though, which helps. Then I thought about who could possibly have the money to fund all of these gadgets and suits, which moves us to the upper east and eliminates Crime Alley and such. This carries on to the question, who would have the resources for such team, and I'm not talking money anymore, I'm talking human resources. This could direct us to one Billionare in specific, with precisely seven kids and a Blonde family friend. Bruce Wayne. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian all have black hair. Yes, it's true, Red Hood wears a helmet, but I have seen him fight without it, and his hair is black. The only other person that matches the height and the hair is Jason. Damian's skin color matches Robin’s. Duke is the only black member in the family and Stephanie is the only blonde. Barbara is in a wheel chair, which rules her out. Now, even though the height matches with Bruce and Batman, I have not seen Batman without the cowl so I’m not entirely sure if it could be him. He might be Batman, or he might just be the one investing in all of this. They are my main suspects, but I still need more information to actually confirm it’s them. For all I know, these could be all coincidences. I can’t make an accusation on these alone.

-“Oh fuck….that is still amazing ” (T)

-“Shit….yeah that brain of yours is something else” (C)

-“Now, even though I’m like 50% sure it might be them, I still need DNA samples. I managed to swab some of the blood in one of the fights they had before it dried after they left and am currently searching how to identify DNA samples. Might go to the forensic lab and get some help from that girl you’ve been talking to, Tay”

-“Oh we aren’t talking anymore, she’s too clingy”

-“Fuck” (Y)

-“Sucks being a journalism major and not a bio one huh” (C)

-“right now, it really does” (y)

-“But you can tell her I'll link up one last time if she helps, erases the data after, and keeps her mouth shut. She was a good fuck” (T)

-“Thank youuu for your sacrifice” (Y)

Both Taylor and Charlie snort,

-“It only took her a few fucking months...” (t)

-“Tim you found our identities when you were 9” (d)

-“LESS THAN SIX MONTHS, DICK!! IT IS STILL IMPRESSIVE” (t)

-“or maybe you all have just been sloppy” (da)

-“Shut up, Damian, that includes you, you know” (t)

-“SHHHH!! I CANT LISTEN” (s)

-“Now, as for, the case of my father, there must be a reason as to why my mother sent me to Bruce Wayne of all people, he must know”

-“and if he is what you think he is, then he might have information on your family!” (Ta)

-“Correct! But if he isn’t….them i’m fucked. Which means I’d have to start the investigation all over again”

- “Damn…what would you do if you’re correct though?” (C)

-“If he is Batman, or my father, or both?”

-“All of the above I guess” (C)

“…I don’t know…maybe I’ll ask him why was he never there, what happened between my mom and him, who is my family, I mean even if he isn’t batman or my father, he for sure knows who my family is and what, and unless I have something against him to make him tell me, this will prove even harder that I thought. I guess, I’m hoping my hypothesis is true so that I can ask him and get some answers. If I have learned anything about Bruce Wayne these last few weeks I’ve been with them is that he is a mystery that keeps on birthing more mysteries. Honest-“

BANG BANG BANG

A loud noice startled them. They all stiffen and look at each other. Charlie sits up and looks at the hour, marking 20 minutes till three. Some of the lights that had been around them started dimming and if there’s something they’d learned these past few months in Gotham, was that that was never a good sign

-“I think it’s time to go!” (C)

-“Seconding that,” said Taylor, turning the car on and pulling out of the alley.

-“Yeah, as much as I trust the fact that they were there patrolling near us, I’m not gonna risk it if the suddenly have their hands full”

Y/n agreed. As the began driving, Yn noticed a few strange things from the alley they were just in. She knew Batman, Nightwing, and Red Hood had been watching from above, making sure their car was safe, but it wasn’t that. A few shadowy figures had been still on one of the roof tops and they had mistaken them earlier for gargoyles. The city was filled with them so it was an honest mistake. She saw that some of them moved and quickly took out her camera. Following them the best she could she took pictures of them. If the Batcrew (title given by Charlie) were slippery and difficult to photograph (hence why it had taken her so long to get a hypothesis and study each individually), these were way worse. Halfway through the drive; she saw less and less of them until, finally, they had gotten to the security of their apartment complex parking lot. Taylor parked the car and Charlie began cleaning up the trash. They had gotten out and noticed Y/n stayed in the car.

-“You coming?”

Taylor asked, worried as Y/n looked in her camera’s gallery.

-“Go ahead, I’ll be right up in a sec”

Taylor nodded and left towards the elevator with Charlie. As she looked in her gallery, she noticed some figures would have some sort of dark green silk with golden accents when the light would hit them. How odd. She began to put things back in her bag when she remembered earlier she had lent her charger to Charlie in the back and he never gave it back. She exited the car, opened the back door and searched for it. As she did, her hand touched on something small with a weird shape stuck to the rug under the driver seat. She pulled and found a small pin sized and bat shaped object with a red beating light.

-“Curious and curiouser” she muttered

Why would Batman leave this inside her car? It had been her turn to clean the car yesterday and this wasn’t there. She went to feel were she had plucked it from again and noticed that the rug had an indent in it.

-“This was shot in…not just simply placed,” she turned to look at the pin again, “Kind of heavy for a pin, which means it has technology inside and the red light indicates it’s on”

She pulled out her phone and turned the flashlight on, once again looking at where the pin was. She saw that the mark it left was light, but identifiable.

-“…if physics tells me anything, it had to be shot at a good distance with enough force to leave this kind of mark. hm….”

She pocketed it and closed the car. She went up to her apartment, and into her room. There she placed her stuff down and pulled out her notebook. She had told only half of the information she had found to Charlie and Taylor. Although she trusted them with her life, she knew that this information is mostly classified. That why she played it as if she was mostly uncertain, but she knew.

The last few months she would occasionally suggest doing activities that would test out their skills and compare them to what she saw at night. Nightwing was able to pull various tricks that Dick had done when she asked about his life as a Flying Grayson, which have only been seen performed by them. Jason’s aim was impecable every time they played darts and pool, almost similar to how Red Hood was know to be have perfect marksmanship. Damian’s mastery with and love for knives was impressive and strangely familiar with Robin’s. It had been one of the slow nights when the Batcrew had decided to debate on which weapons were the best and Robin seemed strangely fond of knives, daggers, and swords. Stephanie and Duke were quite obvious because of their distinctive traits. Black Bat had remained a mystery because of how easy it was for her to disappear in the night, yet Cass had that same silent aura on her. It was confirmed furthermore when she had recorded the Batcrew and the Wayne’s and compared the timbers of their voices, which were almost identical. The big Bat was the one who left her with the most doubt, he was almost impossible. Mostly silent, hair covered, and nothing to match Bruce’s behavior. The only thing that matched was height and the fact that he was a white man….and that helped with little to almost nothing.

She wasn’t 50% sure, she was 80% sure and the missing twenty was because she didn’t who Batman was.

She sat in her desk chair and spun around. Y/n had felt tired back in the car but finding the bat like pin woke her mind up. She pulled it out of her pocket and inspected it. Seeing it much clearer now, she found a few holes in the device. A tracker of some sort that could listen and record maybe?

-“You know I’m getting closer and that has you on high alert. You think you’re slick, Batsy.”

She said and pulled out her drawer, placing it in a a box inside just in case it also had a camera. Y/n was hardly ever wrong about an investigation, but this one made her doubt. It was one thing to go around in your small town from an Island, chasing mysteries and being damn good at it. Another thing was messing with a vigilante. She hoped Batman was Bruce, because if it were anyone else, she wouldn’t have her mother’s favor and the care he has gained for her protecting her and that terrified her just a little.

-•-

Back in the cave, Bruce sat down, reviewing footage from his tracker. To confirm, it is a tracker that records sounds and videos. He sees Y/n find the tracker and inspect it. Hearing her commentary and seeing her formulating her hypothesis created a certain fondness he didn’t know how to handle. (what feeling do you know how to handle, Bruce?) She was fascinating. He knew she observed them on the daily and took notes of it. It was a matter of time before she found out and it was impressive. He had called her mother and she had said Y/n had photographic memory, which explained her attention to detail.

Seeing her put the tracker in the box, he turned it off and closed the tab; opening another one. The thing Valentina and he had dreaded has finally happened. Y/n was under the Salazar’s radar and tonight’s spies proved it. He had called Valentina the moment he saw them and they both agreed that it was best for the Bats to stay close to Y/n even if it meant risking revealing their identities to her. He had no doubts she could discover them on her own and when she did, this situation might be able to make itself ten times easier.

———

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