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#BUT EITHER WAY im having so much fun like actually so much fun
stuffzwithazz · 2 days
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little hu analysis time!
i love hu, she’s grown on me a lot since pt2 dropped ehehe heh i’d like to make a formal apology to her for thinking she was the culprit for a year
this is just an analysis about hu’s secret/secret quote because i’m a freshman sem 1 psychology major and i like this stuff ^^
spoilers for drdt obviously ^^
tw for suicide
as a quick recap: hu’s secret is “you were quite the hopeless child. dying once wasn’t enough, so you attempted suicide 3 times” and her secret quote is “i want to pay for what i did. but i still want to live” (something like that)
i’ll start w the secret quote bc it’s the simpler one^^
by “pay for what i did” i think she means laying up her life as comeuppance for her actions, whatever they might be. now im not sure if by attempted, it’s failed attempts or hu wanting to but chickening out at the last minute. either way my point stands
now onto the secret!! this is a bit of assumption and i could just be looking into it wayyy too much but ykw? its fun!
there’s one specific phrase i’d like to look at: “*dying once wasn’t enough*, so you attempted suicide 3 times”
if the wording is meant to be very specific, then this raises a question. those question being; what does she mean by “dying once”?
for this next part: spoilers for both corpse factory (the game) and the silent patient (a book by alex michaelides)
i’ll explain it in brief terms w/out any spoilers after those sections dw!! i just like using examples for things
CORPSE FACTORY SPOILERS:
near the end, noriko talks about aoi’s childhood and how aoi is under the impression that noriko’s childhood was better (it wasn’t but i digress) noriko mentions aoi said something like “my dad killed me, but i killed him, so it’s okay.” ignoring the last bit, what does aoi mean by “killed me?”
aoi’s dad was quite the violent and both verbally and physically abusive guy. there are things that people can say that are equivalent or even worse than being stabbed or shot upfront, like things such as
(tw for verbal abuse(?) i actually dk how to categorize these im sorry)
“i wish you were never born” or “i wish you died instead of ____!!”
these things hurt like hell, and in some cases you feel like it would have been better to literally be murdered
SILENT PATIENT SPOILERS
near the end of the book, alicia recounts the experience she had growing up with her dad and how one day, he killed her. sound familiar? it’s a similar story to what happened with aoi. then, when alicia writes in her diary about what theo did 5 years ago, she brings up this specific thing: theo had made gabriel choose between himself or alicia post finding out gabriel was having an affair w kathy. gabriel chose his own life over alicia’s, therefore proving he did cheat and shattering alicia’s hopes that gabriel really did love her. in her mind, it felt like being killed. again. in her words, “the dead doesn’t speak. gabriel has sentenced me to death.” hearing that the man who she loved for so long was going behind her back and would choose his life over her’s, when she knew she would value his is worse than being just brutally killed.
(SPOILERS OVER!!)
being said something so hurtful it feels like a stab in the stomach is a similar feeling that i think is the reasoning for the specific words of “dying once wasn’t enough”
im admittedly a bit sad that hu’s secret wasn’t talked about whatsoever during the trial, especially considering its subject matter, but it’s what she wanted so it’s okay
again, all of this is purely speculation on my part, and o could just be looking into the wording a bit too much…
ok analysis over!! lmk what you think ^^
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duskholland · 3 months
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how's your watch of criminal minds going? you (and my inability to start anything new) inspired me to start it over again lol
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i’m about to finish season 4! i have spencer brainrot on a level never seen before by another human being. i’ve written 6k words in the last 24 hours for this man and ive not even consumed enough content to know how to write him properly HAHHA. i am Loving it tho !!! love love love and love.
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moeblob · 4 months
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You literally spent three hours having an ENTIRE SCHOOL (teachers included) slut-shaming a guy just for him to be a (spoiler).
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tangledinink · 10 months
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your art and design(s) of donnie has inspired me to give my donnie a long fluffy tail.
and like i headcanon donnie as trans, and i know that female turtles have little short tails but my excuse is that something just went a little weird with his mutation so he has a long tail. that also goes for the fluffy part of the tail, since turtles don't have fur whatsoever
sorry this was random I just wanted to say- also i LOVE YOUR ART!!! ITS SO PRETTY
hell yeah! long tail donnie supremacy!!! go off!!! chase your bliss!!! give him a long fluffy tail! my favorite way to 'justify' donnie's long tail (not that you need a justification) is a headcanon that I 1000% stole from @spectralsleuth that the mad dogz got more than just turtle/human DNA in there...
i mean, they're baron draxum's masterwork! unstoppable super soldiers! the answer to the prophecy! if you wanna make an incredible dish, you don't just use two ingredients, right? so i like to imagine it being, like, mostly turtle and lou jitsu dna, sure, but with, like... a dash of dna from a dozen or so other animals, too. just for good measure. you gotta season the dish, right?
it's fun because it just opens so many doors in my mind. oh, donnie's long tail? yeah, that's the water monitor dna. the way the gemini wag their tails? oh, there's some doberman in there. the sharp teeth? python genes making an appearance! they purr because of the trace amounts of wildcat heritage they have--
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sonknuxadow · 9 months
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you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care
#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly#but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know#what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them.#what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role#but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned#maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age?#silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry#considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad.#i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents#espio i dont really question as much#becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life#or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know#but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive#i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though#because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff#to be clear im talking about game canon#i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members#or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing
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jrueships · 7 months
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can you please walk us through the relationship between wemby and jabari the people need to know
i think the most notable thing about vic and Jabari's relationship is that they don't have one, when it would be so beneficial if they did. they're like two soldiers fighting for the opposite sides of a war, too loyal to the cause to stop and think about what could have been if they just lowered their respective weapons aimed by cold hands larger than their own. foils by fate, friends by freedom.
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' remember, you will Always be Different. '
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' remember, you will Always be Replaceable. '
'Replaceable'
Jabari's dad made it in the NBA, then didn't. He was a big that could shoot, but wasn't a post-up man. Back then, post-up was the desired style. Ironically, now, it's all about shooting. But his dad didn't live in the now, and his career in the US was short-lived, to keep it cordial. Jabari's older brother played basketball throughout his whole life, but stopped after college. Jabari's cousin, Kwame Brown, was drafted 1st overall in the lottery, and became a notorious bust for the Washington wizards.
Basketball is a business. Basketball is fleeting.
It doesn't matter that a big with sharpshooter skills is valued as something so 'prized' in today's nba, not back then, not when it would have mattered for Jabari's dad. Making it is one ballpark in its own, but Staying in it? Can perhaps be an even more painful ordeal when the hoops to accomplish it aren't circus hoops, but a plain hill some just don't have the strength, mentality, or the materials to help climb without distraction or pitfall.
Jabari's dad made sure Jabari had this threat forever ingrained in his mind. When he yells at Jabari for misplaced eye contact, for typing the wrong words in a public social media reply, for reacting in a way a camera might misinterpret, it's out of love. Jabari's dad was known for being a hassle to coach back then, maybe because he knew his potential and no one else did because it was too new to the mold. So he makes sure Jabari doesn't follow his same habits. Jabari is polite to authority, simply replies with a 'Yes Sir' or a 'No Ma'am', he holds eye contact, he wakes up hours before he needs to just to jump rope, just to uphold the standards that his family could not. He is Everything his father is and isn't, plus more. When his team wins, he's still talking about his missed freethrows even 8 hours later. Because someone else could have won the game And hit those free throws too . someone from a family that gained success and stayed in that success. Someone who wasn't Just Another Son of a basketball player trying to do what his father couldn't, someone who was Different .
Everyone knew wemby was different. When his literature class was asked to write an essay about your future dreams in life, he wrote a fictional romance about a couple where the woman got in a car accident and was comatosed as a result, but got better in the end. He didn't write about being a great basketball player one day, because his parents don't pressure him to hunker himself into the norm, even though his mother once was and now coaches. If Wemby one day realized this wasn't for him, they would encourage him to leave and follow whatever greater passions propelling him. He's so agile for his size because his dad was an Olympic talent in track and field. He is someone who has hobbies and talents that are considered common alone, but strange combined, because he loves what he has and what he does. He reads every night for one hour before bed not to appear as some pseudointellectual, but because he Genuinely loves it, and when he loves something, he excels at it. He does try to be different, but not out of ego. He just loves to be. He either accomplishes at 200% or zero. It may be 200% in an unexpected direction, but it's His direction and that's what matters. If he somehow does wind up a bust, a possibility he considers without fear but acceptance as potential fate, then he won't go down as yet another failed first pick. He'll fall as he flew, Victor Wembanyama.
' Different '
' Replaceable'
Jabari winces each time he's subbed out, even for a second, even on an injured ankle, he's silently Stubborn, his posture shrunken and his gaze at the ground yet his eyes, big, wobbling, staring up always at the speaker, he's silently scared.
Jabari doesn't Want to be different. He just wants to be what his family couldn't be when it came to fame: irreplaceable . His parents split when he was younger, he tries his hardest to appease them both as to not cause any more issues. The relationship relies on his shoulders more than ever, and he can't fumble it again. He has to be what his dad couldn't so his dad can stay, commenting on commonality or surprises. He wants to support his still working mother, especially after the split. He doesn't Want to be unique, he just wants Security.
Because this can crumble any moment now, it doesn't matter how high your pick was or how bright the future Could Have been or how the game would later shift to your style if you had just somehow Stayed. Why bet on low chances if you know you can't handle the risk. He shakes any college coaches' hands that showed up to his practices, personally thanks them for coming even though he's one of the best in the country so their presence should be a given to him, it's not. When he picks a college, he picks one that guaranteed their faith in him from day One, and didn't require any further prodding to finally say '.. Maybe we'll offer you a position' like Kentucky did, as big and famous as it is, it wasn't Secured . They saw him as a risk at one point, and that's everything he's been trying to avoid when it came to attention, negatively standing out.
Jabari wants to be known as the strong shoulder to the world. He WANTS to be known as That One Guy who can just carry everything, nameless but Good. He just wants to be Good. Please tell him he's good. Please tell him what he's doing is Good. That basing his entire personality around yet another soldier who ultimately fell in battle but fought nonetheless being nameless is Good. Please feel free to give him all your burdens to bear like he's just some mule, an animal, a Tool .. because that means he's Useful, at least. That means he's Good. And if he isn't good, then he's nothing. Because you can always just buy another one anyways. A better one.
'Different'
Although his parents try not to treat Wemby by simplifying his differences into a strictly labeled, simple FUTURE BASKETBALL PRODIGY box at birth, that doesn't mean that can always stop others from doing it. Wemby signed his first autograph at ten years old.
It didn't matter if he was a kid who was so much more than just his basketball future, basketball fans wanted one thing from him and one thing only: Success. People didn't care about his literary skills or his drawing hobbies. The eyes on his alien needed to be smaller 'so your shoe can sell better, trust us, it's still Your drawing.. your weird little .. not money-making hobby, do believe me, Vic, We know what We're doing. You just stick to whatever you do.'
His differences, in the end, are minimalized just to that. He's just Different. That's what everyone says who wouldn't really care to say anything at all if he never hooped as well as they wanted in the first place. The youtube videos of 40 year old men criticizing his 15 year old games didn't Really care if he was just a kid, they just cared in the 'imagine when he reaches peak physicality? imagine the points (money) he'd make for the nba.' His beautiful differences, artistic, soft, unique but oh-so wonderfully common and passionate.. are all dissolved into 'Different', the Base definition.
he's an alien. Someone you can just dump all your poverty franchise worries onto because don't worry, he's Different. Trust me, he'll save your team. 'He's Different. ..am i talking about how he'd effortlessly answer questions in class while also trying to hide the fact that he's playing on his phone by tucking his bony legs awkwardly in his chair and crouching his spine over that it looked almost scary? HELL NO? what does THAT have to do with BASKETBALL?? no, he's just freakishly long, but like. Gifted. Though. ... I don't know, man, he's just DIFFERENT, okay? you can trust me, i'm a sports podcaster, okay? everything i say is gold.'
A celebrity approaches him because he was different than most famous basketball athletes. He was Different. And yet, when he didn't recognize or notice her presence due to Different cultures ( due to Being Genuinely, Detailedly Different ), he was scorned and ushered out of public eye so another possible pr bomb couldn't injure his reputation as a Difference That They Really Would Rather Not Want.
that's what his reading falls into, his old friends, his family, his art, his personality. If it's beyond ball, if it's beyond Business. The world only cares if it's marketable. Sure, some reporters will ask a question outside of sport, but only because it'll be a Different.. funny little nugget of knowledge for fans to laugh at then soon disregard for what Really made him famous. But, Wemby is what he always wanted to be. He's Different. So What if it's not exactly the kind of Different he actually wants, he actually functions on? No one has the time to perform 200% anymore. Slap the label you wanted and call it quits, stop being so High-Maintenanced. That's not marketable.
You're just different. And to some people, that's all you'll ever be. No need to explore it any further. Who knows, your Consumers might find something they won't like. And we can't risk that happening to our greatest circus freak.
i mean. Generational basketball talent .
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If there's a press conference going on that somehow includes the two, then Wemby just wants to be sure everyone can hear what he really wants to say, in his own words, not echoing anyone else's, and Jabari just wants to Be in the Room.
His brother stopped playing basketball because his family said he didn't try hard enough. Jabari Can't have that. His whole life revolves Around basketball, around sport. He doesn't WANT to be DIFFERENT if that isn't the soundest option, he just wants to be GREAT. Because GREAT is SUCCESS. Jabari Smith is not success. It's just a retry at it . His father shares the same name.
Wemby's life did not always revolve around basketball, to people, at one point. At one point, Wemby's life was just his life. Now, it seems like only his family think that, and they're from a whole other country. When he comments on videos critiquing his playstyle, he doesn't do so out of anger or questioning, he does so because he genuinely Wants to improve. He Does want to be great. But, he wants to be great in Everything that he finds interesting. He always did. When he likes an author, he reads All their books, not just their most notorious novel. He wants to be transported into other people's worlds so he can learn, so he can change, so he can be Different. Even if he somehow were to lose all of this fame, this Greatness, this job, this opportunity, he will never really lose. Because he's someone who's always taken opportunities to the fullest, so even if they pan out a little differently, that's Fine, really, because he's different. Not in the minimizing, dictionary definition then leave the meaning at that different, but in the butterfly effect. What he once was ten days ago is not exactly the same of what he is now, and it hurts, sometimes, when people fail to see that, or simply don't want to because textbook different is easier to digest than worldly different.
IN SHORT.. theyre foils. i can't Exactly walk u thru their relationship bcs .. there Isn't one.. & that's what's so Interesting about them. That's what makes their relationship, to me. Because if they WERE to be friends, if they somehow in some alternate world WERE to get paired up on the same team... they would be friends. I really think they would be. Not only because their signs are so compatible, or their differences are so stark, but because their similarities would triumph everything beautifully. Maybe. We don't know because they Weren't paired together, we can only speculate. But i think it would be big and beautiful, whatever they would have, it would be Something.
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unfortunately, we don't live in an alternate world where they're teammates though ! Double unfortunately, Jabari and Wemby's biggest similarity is their loyalty to the game (a double-edged sword in both their lives from Jabari's silent unhealthy desire to be limited and Wemby's silent desperation not to be) Wemby, in Jabari's eyes, is Indeed a powerful...
Problem.
He's not really a person to him . In all fairness, no one really is when they're involved in the basketball world, not to Jabari, not from the way he's been taught. Everyone's supposed to be Replaceable, a faceless tool in the pocket of good business.
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.. except for This freakazoid. Apparently.
APPARENTLY, he's some supposed 'saint'. someone to be feared for being more. APPARENTLY, the reporters just LOVE yapping about him SO much, that Jabari HAS to take the time out of his training just to talk about some guy who doesn't even GO here, yet when they ask him about his opinion on future prospects. WELL, that's ALL wemby IS to Jabari, just another future prospect. Just another problem.
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A problem he'll be sure to check off his list.
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... okay, so Maybe he's a bit more than a problem.. maybe.. he's just a really persistent problem? yeah, that's it, nothing more. Jabari will work through this. He Always does. That's what he does well, Work.
Wemby wonders if that's all he ever does .
But he doesn't have long before Jabari's marching down the tunnel to beat himself up over all his mistakes other people would never make, and Wemby's being escorted to an interview that other people would never make solely to show how Much he just Stands Out as a soul... in basketball .
I hope they find each other in basketball, and out of it as well. I just feel like
Something would Happen
#THANK YOU for this ask#i was so scared making it tho like... im srry it's so long but im afraid i cant short answer in life 😭#if im scared it's gonna miss something 😭#i MAY be an overthinker hooper 🗣‼️‼️💯🔥#in reality thank u for asking fr <333 it's been a while since ive done one of my (in)famous ted talks LMAO#i hope this helped 😊!! <- i say as the whole point of it was that it couldnt actually help#LiSTEN- iN THE END.. IT'S FOR THE DELULUS IM AFRAID#the OHHHH but the POTENTIALL#mfs who have mental illness (multi shipping)#theyre like pg and dame Thats a Bad Shot to be#like they both have insane 200% or nothing work ethics... but driven into such POLAR opposite means to an end#theyre like two people who wrote an antithesus to the other but would actually rule the world together if given the chance#2 veey powerful heroes belonging to two different alliances or worlds.. holding similar but different ideals#corny one liner quip bcs i have to for the kids marvel wemby and trying to be edgier bcs fck them kids dc jabari#idk theyre insane to me#pls say u understand#bcs i dont think i rlly do myself and thats why i love them so much#theyre a puzzle and i wanna know if the final product is exactly what ive been imagining from the pieces given to me#or if it's completely opposite#either way it's so fun for me to figure out but again. i may be insane#if i am .. feel free to tell me 😭😭 really. at least have the courtesy to tell the polar bear his world is melting before taking a picture#ted asks#ted longer#jaba#webby#IF I MISSPELL WEMBYS NAME PLS BE NICE 2 ME. I DID LORE RESEARCH HIM i SWEAR. I RESEARCH ALL MY POSSIBLE SHIPS PEOPLES CUS IM SCARED OF#MISINTERPRETATION. SO IF U SEE ME MISSPELL WEMBY.. IT'S BCS I AM STUPID YES. BUT LIKE. NOT WITH RESEARCH. IT'S JUST MY STUPID BRIAN#*BRAIN**** <-SEE?? i Dont think i have to explain any further how his name is a Nightmare for people like me who#think 8s are 6s on a math test and fails bcs of it EVEN THO the problem wouldve been right if it WERE to be a 6.. it is simply not
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springcatalyst · 3 months
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shogun (book) does the 'characters speaking in multiple languages' thing the best ive ever seen its so fuckign. the 'defaults' are typically either portugese or japanese and so those are written normally, with the exception that the japanese we hear from blackthornes perspective is either unintelligible (not direct quotes) or short words and phrases that he picks up (things like wakarimasuka and kinjuru are written just like that, and we the english reader learn what they mean as blackthorne does, so dont need translations evey time). japanese when heard from a japanese character's perspective is written in normal english, because its still the default, its their first, usually only, language. but it gets funky when youre speaking, say, latin, which they do sometimes. because blackthorne knows it fluently, but its not his first language (though neither is portugese) and its not the one he uses the most. so its written recognizably to us, an english-speaking reader, but in a way that makes it clear it is NOT portugese (default). so its written in this kind of old-englishy very elaborate style, with thees and thous and -ith at the ends of verbs and even just a different grammatical structure than normal english. "who giveth the sign? with importance it should be given quickly." <- not a sentence that comes naturally to english but it is A: recognizable as of the meaning and B: clearly Different. it signals theyre speaking latin even when the whole book is written in English and i think its NEAT
#shogun#im really liking this book dude. its a really interesting style but i dig it#the perspective hops around a bunch but most modern books split it cleaner#this chapter is from A perspective and this chapter is from B perspective OR you get a mix of everyone at once (true omniscent)#but this isnt either of those. it flips between character's minds without clear indication when the flip happens#so u read a chapter that starts from blackthorne's perspective and halfway through it switched to mariko's and you can only tell because#the narration now includes knowledge of what is being said in japanese. and then it switches to toranagas and youre seeing him think about#whatever plan hes concocting and then its back to mariko and she doesnt have all the information you just learned#there was a chapter with all the portugese priests together and it flipped between them so much and they got way into like. backstory shit#and thinking about what happened to get them here what they think should happen next and they didnt all agree#and its not CONFUSING but it is confusing sometimes. u understand#its really interesting tho i like it a lot#and also i actually like blackthorne more in the book than in the show. in the book hes worse#hes more brash and messy and selfish and hes just more of a dickhead and hes more clueless#all things he is in the show but they sanded him down a bit to make him a better love interest/main character#which is TRAGIC. hes so sucks in the book hes more fun and interesting. i like eet
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blobbei-art · 2 years
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Forcing myself to doodle more and it resulted in Werewolf!Descole because I like creatures and it’s halloween mood. Luke would definitely use this opportunity to the fullest to mess with Desmond
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13eyond13 · 6 months
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one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh
#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun#to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things#here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw#neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll#have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both#in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book#i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly#i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...'#also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either#ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where#the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way#that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes#and some of neil gaiman's stuff#but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much#to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way#to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does#what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm#oh hp lovecraft hahahaha#least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb#like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like#yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it#also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me#p
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widevibratobitch · 11 months
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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hiddenbeks · 10 months
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carth watching in increasing despair as this random soldier he escaped the endar spire with and who agreed to keeping a "low profile" makes an enemy of tarisian nobility and the local crime lord, loses all their credits in pazaak games, enters a dueling ring with the excuse of regaining the credits but really just wants to blow off some steam, goes to a sith party with the excuse of searching for leads on bastila's whereabouts but really just wants to see how fun the sith are to party with,
#the 'prodigal knight' and 'dreaded sith lord' is also the wildest party-goer in the galaxy babyyyy#the sith are not fun to party with btw. cant hold their liquor and the music choices are mid#this is what ultimately sets liah on the light side path (not really but thats what she tells everyone. half-jokingly.)#also i havent actually lost any credits in pazaak yet. i beat that one guy in the cantina who claims to be the best player around. ha#but like Canonically liah is so bad at pazaak. or maybe its just bad luck. either way she keeps losing but cant stop playing#she simply cannot say no to a challenge. be it card games or duels. i love her#oc: liah#im having a blast w this game but i cant stop thinking abt what it could be if it werent so old n limited by the technology of its time#the quests could have more layers n paths n outcomes......#like what if the sith party was bigger what if you could get absolutely shitfaced n fail to find anything that could help in ur search. lol#instead of just. u walk in to apartment. u briefly talk to guy who invited u. screen fades to black.#everyone except for u is passed out on the floor bc they had too much to drink. u didnt even get a chance to drink.#quest proceeds. loot sith armor for disguise and be on ur merry way. no partying for u.#sigh. kotor remake....... you remain in my dreams........#also disclaimer theres nothing wrong with a game being more linear!!!#not every game has to have the complexities n permutations of modern rpgs!!! sometimes simplicity is better!!!#but im just saying. it would be fun and its fun to think about.#also btw some of the dialogue in this game sounds like its written by a child. its a bit painful at times. but anyway
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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mmmgh
#salty talks#this one is personal but not in a scary just in a i need to say this shit somewhere way#botw/totk… i do not fucking like th. like gameplay is fun puzzles are cool world is cool but like.#the lackluster story and characters honest to god drag it the fuck down for me#none of the characters are actuslly interesting and ganondorf is the only one i want to see in totk#like i got the master sword. i got it and its like whatever. i know whats up with the light dragon and i dont care#totk is making me start to dislike this version of zelda and idk how to feel abt that#no one feels like. interesting. everyone is either good or evil or a fucking side character with a paper thin life#and totk with its fucking no-nuance go kill ganondorf plot is just. stop making half of the plot take place in the fucking past#i havent really done much story stuff but like. GOD. no one in totk is meant to be morally gray its all so fucking black and white#what happened to having major characters who were morally dubious and were actually fascinating to watch#i dont like that most of the major characters in totk/botw are Good Guys and Nice To Link nobody actually interests me#i was SO excited that the lurelin pirates would be a new group of characters to contend with but no. monsters. fuck#they had a chance to maybe get into the kingdoms more dubious past concerning the sheikah and then made the sheikah barely important#and then made the yiga more of a joke instead of like. doing anything with their interesting past#no fuck you heres some all new shit that has nothing to do with what came before and the same shallow conflict and characters#theyve dipped their toes into morally dubious characters and genuinely fascinating characters and the idea that the kingdom of hyrule isnt#all that and gave more room for drawing your own conclusions and totk just hands over the most black and white experience#im playing to finish the story and finish the game i actively do not care or expect much from these characters#and it just seems like the narrative is going to bend over backwards to put hyrule as the ultimate moral good and any opposition as bad#and all but force you to accept that because it just proves that sentiment correct over and over again and its fucking bland#idk. aomething about the writing of this game fucking frustrates me esp when i think abt how past games were written#imperialist shit aside this game’s story and characters are so fucking. par for the course bland. i dont care beyond ‘oh thata charming’#i dont think about this game’s story. it doesnt make me think it just shoves events and character actions at me and moves on#fuck.#it feels like its just. telling me shit. not giving me much room to really decide for myself. zelda is good ganondorf is bad fuck nuance ig#it seems so fucking scared of being a little bit complex. this is why i say 'i miss linebeck' i miss complicated ideas and characters#just. totk seems like it REALLY wants you to have specific thoughts about these events and characters. doing everything it can to prove#the good guys right and the bad guys wrong and having pretty much no one be in between or like. anything. its all standard
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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5hrignold · 7 months
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Gerbug
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gifti3 · 1 year
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I still think obey me would have had an easier time writing better characters if they had actual routes (includes harem route) and better story segment to rhythm game ratios
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The first three scenes of chapter 30 are basically done, two more to go
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