#Assassination Tango

[figureskatingcostumes]

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir skating their original dance at the 2007 Canadian National Championships and, with a different flower, at the 2007 World Championships. Their music was Luis Bacalov's Assassination Tango.

(Sources: 1 and 2)

[muwitch]

and a santa gift to @todderwodders who keeps inspiring me and shares love for many things, Helsing among them.

Drawing the Urge is always a privilege and an honor!

LOVE YOU AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS

[andyling]

Alright so session 6 was . . . a lot . . . but we have a tradition here so repeat after me guys

TEAM RANCHER ISN’T DEAD THEY’RE JUST BEING SILLY

[tutuandscoot]

First senior OD vs Last senior SD

✨Original ending poses ✨

[portmantaur]

oh god now my auto shuffle is like “do you want to remember all the slightly cringey shit you wouldn’t stop playing in high school?? do you maybe want some early shakira or perhaps some juanes???”

[aoitakumi8148]

An example for hyped companies, no serious projects, 9 V-languages, superb RU VA, great USSR atmosphere, epic soundtrack, breathtaking trailers, addictive missions, hilarious robots, charismatic characters, Viktor.

Three references. Paying long-awaited homage to art.

[poptartmochi]

love having a new Guy because then all the pre-existing guys get a cycle in the washing machine w him 🌪️🌪️

[msunitedstatesjames]

The ME3 Citadel DLC really has everything:

-An evil clone

-Commander Shepard and Javik battling for top billing with Blasto the hanar in a war propaganda film

-An anime style zoom in on the eyes of Traynor and her greatest rival over a match of space chess

-A scene where you have to manually press whatever buttons your system requires 183 times to beat James in a pull up competition

-A scene where the gang is trapped in a vault with limited air, while Shepard complains about the fact that no one told them how cheesy they sound when they talk

-Shepard forcing a hardened mercenary/bounty hunter to say 'please' when he asks for more change to beat the claw game in an arcade

-Shepard almost being assassinated in a sushi resturant, then being ceaselessly derided for falling through a fish tank in their escape attempt and getting everyone's favorite restuarant closed

-Potentially a sexy tango dance scene with a merc-killing vigilante turian

-The chance to rebelliously stick your hands under a decorative waterfall so many times that a staff member is like, 'fine, do what you want, but just so you know this waterfall is a hanar urinal'

-Shepard learning to play piano

-Shepard Accusing Kaiden of poisoning them Canada style

-A toothbrush that prevents a hijacking attempt

-Watching some good old fashioned telepathic sports and cracking open a cold one with the boys while the galaxy is in a shambles

-Wrex complaing that he's been having so much sex he's too exhausted to fight the Reapers

-Playing fetch with a skillet and a Varren

-Just two space divas drinking wine and talking about shoes

-"It's joking time."

Unironically, this is truly Bioware's finest work.

[figureskatingcostumes]

Sabina Alieva competing in the 2022 Junior Grand Prix Poland II, skating to Assassin's Tango.

(Source: kissncry_pics)

[shaytheantagonist]

My Roman Empire is how the life series writes itself. Here are some coincidences that I think about frequently:

1. Every person who has ever won a life series (Real Life included) was paired with another winner in Double Life (Grian & Scar, Scott & Pearl, Martyn & Cleo)

2. Several members had patterns in their deaths in Secret Life (All of Grian’s deaths happened while a large portion of the remaining server members were present, all of Scott’s deaths were arranged & he let whoever killed him kill him, all of Etho’s deaths were from Scar killing him, all of Jimmy’s deaths were from mobs of increasing strength (drowned, dragon & warden), all of Mumbo’s deaths were because of poor walking (walked off a ledge, walked into lava, walked into his own fence posts) & all of Martyn’s deaths happened in different dimensions)

3. Jimmy being out first 4 times in a row

4. Grian winning 3rd Life & then being dead last in the VR recreation of 3rd Life

5. Mumbo always having his final death moments after Jimmy’s final death

6. Pearl & Scar winning their seasons after being the underdog the entire season & having it the hardest

7. The first interaction Etho & Joel had in the entire life series was while they were in boats

8. Every time Scott is in the final two, whoever loses dies to a mob they didn’t know was behind them (Ren in Last Life, Scott in Real Life)

9. Jimmy always cursing at least one of his allies to do horribly each season (3rd Life was Scott’s lowest placement ever, 10th. Last Life: both Mumbo & Impulse were in the bottom 4. Double Life: Tango played poorly and was responsible for 2/3 of their deaths. Limited Life, Joel was out third & The Bad Boys died A LOT. Secret Life: Martyn was the first yellow AND the first red despite literally winning the previous season. EVEN REAL LIFE, Jimmy teamed with Grian, Joel, Scar & Impulse, who were the first 4 to be eliminated.)

10. Since Double Life, Pearl has wanted her allies to win the current seasons, she has outlived all of her main allies every season since then (Big B in Limited Life & Mumbo, BDubs & Joel in Secret Life)

11. Joel literally & metaphorically being the reason Lizzie was the first one out instead of Jimmy in Secret Life (Lizzie only died because she was trying to kill Scott to help out with Joel’s assassin task, by the time she tried to kill him & died in the process, Joel had already failed his task & just hadn’t told her yet, so if he had told her that he had failed, she wouldn’t have taken Scott to the end & fallen into the void & Jimmy probably would’ve first out again. Also when they were hosting an early funeral for Jimmy, Joel opened the grave & told Jimmy to “Rise”, I think this was Joel unknowingly breaking the curse.)

12. The fact that Gem’s final death is always her coming 3rd & dying in a 2v1 situation.

13. Joel’s first death in Last Life was fall damage, his first death in Secret Life was also fall damage. The reason Joel ended up on red life in Last Life was because of the Boogeyman curse (both times), in Secret Life, he because red because of being killed by a Boogeyman. In Last Life Joel’s final death was at the hands of Scott, causing him to place 5th, in Secret Life, Joel’s final death was being killed by Scott, causing him to place 5th. I’m leaving out one of Joel’s Last Life deaths, specifically when he died to Mumbo in self defence, but that’s mostly cuz there are more deaths in Last Life than Secret Life

This isn’t even all of them, there are so many more!

[tutuandscoot]

The third gif- his hand..

He wanted to pat her but also was consumed with melting into her so the hand did kinda a mix between the two..

when the music ends -> 2007 worlds original dance

[andyling]

Half the stress of Limited Life for me is waiting to see if Tango or Jimmy kill one another

The other half is me waiting for these two idiots to lose another life due to stupidity

SO SESSION 6 WAS REALLY FUCKING STRESSFUL FOR ME

[tutuandscoot]

For reference:

[notherpuppet]

Shipyard Masterpost 🚢 ♥️

Chaggie 🌈🎀

• Date Night

• Love Letter

• Tango Drawing

• Bedroom’s Ready

• Mid Spicy sketch

• First Date Comic

• Can’t Be Cool Comic

• Gender swap

• Gender Swap More Than Anything

Radioapple 📻🍎

• Floormates Animatic

• Nanny AU master post

• Radioapple Lap

• Slow Dance

• Assassination Attempt uwu

• Holding Hands

• Dance drawing

• Intimate moments and kiss doodles

• Good morning

• Lucifer Laments, Alastor Eavesdrops

• Much Needed Hug

• Deer Drunk on Apple

• Confrontation

• Human Al/Angel Lucifer AU fanart

• Halloween party merch comic

• Devil/Angel AU fanart

• Human Lucifer/Demon Al Au fanart

• Human Lucifer/Demon Alastor AU

• Devil Alastor/Angel Lucifer AU

• Just a Kiss

• High Fashion

• Dinner with the Devil AU

• Squish

• Wrong name

• Valentine’s Day: Part 1 | Part 2 w/ Alt Endings

• Gentle King sketch

• Hungry Deer

• “Fuck You Up”

• Bangs swap

• Gender swap smooch

• Human AU Kingpin vs. Hitman

Huskerdust 🐈‍⬛🕸️

• Dance drawing

• Human nanny AU doodle

• Human nanny AU excerpt

Radiorose 📻🥀

• Outfit Swap

• Gender swap

• Hug

• Human Nanny AU excerpt

• First Meeting Comic

Radiohusk 🦌🐈‍⬛

• Singing

• Jazz Battle Animatic

• Human AU

• Besties

Staticradio 🦌📺

• If Alastor joined the Vees

• Voxtrot

• Human nanny Au excerpt

*this post is subject to change if/when I make more Human AU posts, so be sure to return to the original post

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Killing Wanda

Summary: You, Nat and Yelena are successful assassins, damn good at your jobs but there was one woman you couldn’t stay away from, and when you get a job that tells you to kill her, well you needed to be around Wanda all the time now, and she wasn’t getting away from you, no one would get on your way to have her

Words: a lot, like over 3,000 I think

Warnings: Minors DNI 18+ suggestive themes, swearing and adult themes

A/n: God I’m on fire with releasing fics, hopefully my writing drought is over now and I’ll be writing more now

Also this is long so I’m hoping there’s no mistakes but if there is I’m sorry

The door was open when Wanda came downstairs and she started to panic, she closed the door she was sure of it, what could have happened?

A noise from the kitchen broke Wanda out of her thoughts and she stepped quietly towards the kitchen where the noise was, finally seeing someone digging through the kitchen drawers “you really should learn to organise your utensils you know, it’s a mess in here, if you brought a woman home and she looked in here I don’t think she’d want to do the tongue tango with you would she? A disordered drawer isn’t impressive to people Wanda”

You had yet to turn around and face Wanda, content to keep sorting out the scrambled mess “Y/n why are you in my house?” Wanda whispered and you finally turned around smiling at the scared woman “oh my darling you look tired, have you been sleeping well?”

Wanda didn’t answer instead just moving around the table to sit down still holding your gaze “I’ll ask again, why are you in my house?”

You bit your lip holding in a laugh “oooooh we’re feeling grumpy tonight aren’t we? Maybe you need to relax, I can call Yelena to make us Mac n cheese and I’ll send Natasha to get some wine-

Wanda slammed her fist down on the table cutting you off “don’t fucking play with me Y/n, tell me why you’re here!”

While you were slightly caught off guard you pulled yourself together and reached for a dagger on your person and pointed it at Wanda giving her a warning “I wasn’t finished talking, you’re a grown woman and therefore should know better, it is very rude to do that detka” Wanda’s bravado flew out the window when you rounded the table and held your hand around her throat

“I am here because I was asked to be here, someone paid me a lot of money to kill you slowly and painfully, whoever you pissed off really wants you to suffer and I mean really suffer, the list of things they want me to do is endless”

You eased off the tension on her neck and lent forward kissing her cheek “I like your face, such a shame I have to cut it up, they want picture proof of your death”

Wanda was wavering she was scared, she knew what you did and she knew you did it damn well and left no trace “okay Y/n let’s just calm down, please tell me who put the hit out on me”

Your lips stayed close to her and moved towards her neck kissing her there smiling at the shaky breath she released “I can’t disclose client information Wanda, but it’s someone you know, and from how they speak, someone who’s seen your body in a way that I can only dream of and trust me I do dream of it”

You pushed Wanda gently into the counter leaning into her “how do you dream of me?”

“Oh? I dream of you in the filthiest and most depraved ways, none that I’m willing to discuss here of course but just know that I everytime I kill someone and their blood spills onto me I imagine it’s yours”

“That…that doesn’t sound very sexy”

You smirked letting your hand rest on her hip and the other next to her head “it is when I’m imagining I’m buried deep inside of you cutting up your pretty body-

“Y/n! Have you done yet? We are needed back” Yelena casually walked into the house disturbing your clearly romantic moment with Wanda “I’m in the middle of something Yel”

The blonde scoffed looking at Wanda “yes I can see, she looks terrified, or aroused maybe both”

You glanced down at Wanda “aroused, I can feel how wet she is- Wanda quickly pushed you away at that and you laughed “aw princess are you embarrassed? Its okay I’m glad my intimidation tactics get you this aroused”

Just then Natasha entered angry as ever “Davayte zhe teper'!” She didn’t care what was happening just that you three needed to leave before people started to turn up for them

“Yeah yeah whatever Nat we’re coming” you kissed Wanda on the nose leaving her speechless and still “lovely time we’ve had here princess but I’m needed elsewhere, enjoy your dinner and I’ll see you soon”

The trio left without another word and Wanda sank to the floor controlling her breathing “why is she obsessed with me”

**************************************************

“Why are you obsessed with Wanda?” Yelena poked at you while in the car “she’s hot” you said but the blonde just laughed “I’ve seen you with women you find “hot” and it wasn’t that with Wanda, I think you really like her and want to make babies”

You scrunched up your nose and slapped Yel on the arm “we’re two women idiot, and no matter how hard I’d try I don’t think I could get Wanda pregnant, but god I’d give it a damn good go”

You looked out of the car window admiring the views that Nat drove past, actually you didn’t recognise where you were, weren’t you going back to the house?

“Natty I don’t know if you hit your head back there but I don’t recognise where we are”

The redhead shrugged in the front seat “you need to lie low for a while, you’ve been too careless”

You scoffed “don’t be so fucking ridiculous Natalia I’m good at my job and I’ve never let any personal feelings affect it” you defended

Nat slammed on the breaks sending you near enough through the seat and beyond “fucking hell Nat are you on your period or something?”

“You know we don’t get our periods der'mo” Yelena piped up but you both ignored her “last week you spent 4 hours watching Wanda, you watched her eat dinner, watched her drink wine and then even watched her sleep with a man”

You rolled your eyes at that “yeah all of 4 minutes of that man basically humping poor Wanda and her faking an orgasm”

Yelena was intrigued “wait, how do you know she faked an orgasm?”

You patted poor young innocent Yelena on the back “oh my sweet little Yelena, it was in the way she only shuddered slightly when the man whispered he’s close and then immediately said she came afterwords, he left soon after then she picked out her favourite red vibrator placed it against her sweet-

“Stop! I’ve had enough Y/n let’s just go home and sleep okay, I’m sorry I was so angry but it’s been a rough day”

You kissed Nat on the cheek “it’s okay detka you’re our favourite little black widow, very spicy and dangerous”

Nat sighed and gave a small smile “okay let’s not get all mushy, just stay away from Wanda okay?”

You shrugged “well someone still gave a hit out on her, so I’ll have to see her sooner or later again”

*************************************************

You said you’d stay away from Wanda for a little bit but you couldn’t help it, you found yourself back at Wanda’s house waiting for her in her bedroom, an open window offered you a perfect entry to the room

Wanda jumped back when she entered her bedroom obviously not expecting you “Y/n what the fuck?!”

You smiled wide “hi Wanda, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay away, I still technically need to kill you you know”

Her face fell and she started to step back but you stopped her holding her wrist and pulling her close “don’t worry Wanda I don’t want to kill you yet, I want to enjoy you”

Wanda let herself be pulled into a hug, you wrapped both arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder “you’re so tense my love, did that man not make you cum again?”

Wanda pulled her head back looking at you “what do you mean?”

“I had to make sure you were being safe and when I saw that man humping you like a dog in heat it was heartbreaking, you deserve so much better”

Wanda pushed you away sitting on her bed with her head in her hands “I cannot believe you’ve been watching me have sex, that’s so fucking weird”

You shook your head sitting next to the redhead “no honey it’s not, I needed to watch you to make sure you were okay and as I said that man didn’t look after you, he didn’t treat you well enough, didn’t do any foreplay, didn’t even kiss you, how ridiculous!”

Wanda stood up from the bed and started pacing around the room “what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you obsessed me why do you watch me? And don’t say it’s because someone wants me dead, if you actually did your job I’d be dead already!”

Your eyes darkened, no one’s ever questioned your job before “I am successful in my work Wanda, I have never ever messed up a job and don’t you ever assume otherwise, I will kill you one day Wanda and when I do it’ll be so quick you won’t even realise until you’re stood in front god himself”

Wanda had backed up against the wall with you following her every step, you ended up pressed chest to chest with Wanda and loved every minute of it “well this is a nice position isn’t it?” You smiled, your demeanour changed from angry to soft way too quick for Wanda’s liking, but she was still slightly nervous

“Okay Y/n I’m sorry just, I’m just stressed that’s all”

“Stressed? Why is my pretty girl stressed?” You ran your fingers across her face and on her stress lines “don’t give yourself winkles my love, why are you stressed?”

Wanda sighed heavily giving in and just decided to tell you “the man-the one you’ve watched in my house, like a weirdo, he keeps texting me and stalking me at work, I didn’t call him back after the last time he came over and I think he’s mad about it”

You nodded along listening loosely while studying her face, she was gorgeous

“I see, he’s a bitch then, doesn’t deserve you, don’t worry Wanda I’ll deal with him” you pushed yourself away from Wanda who instantly missed your comfort surprisingly

“Wait where are you going?” She tried following you across the room to the door but you stopped her “I’ll be back later I promise”

“Are you going to hurt him?” She asked and you just smiled “I’ll be back pretty girl”

You left without another word and Wanda was sure she wouldn’t be hearing from Vision again.

********************************************

You decided to bring Yelena on your little trip, she was like a puppy, she needed to be taken out to kill at least 3 times a day or she’d starting biting the furniture and peeing on the carpet

“Are you sure this is okay? We’re assassins for hire not free killers”

“Not free killers? Didn’t you attack a guy because he tried touching that Kate girl?”

Yelena stopped in her tracks and widened her eyes “how do you know about that?!”

“You got drunk and told Nat and I when we were playing uno”

She rolled her eyes “anyway that was because she didn’t deserve to be treated like that”

“And that’s why I’m doing this for Wanda, she deserves better and that’s me clearly so by killing this guy I’m one step closer to that”

“Aren’t you meant to kill her?” You finally found the house you were looking for and saw the man with yet another woman he was sure to disappoint “I am but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun, plus there’s no time limit on the request so I can take my time”

You and Yelena stood outside the front door deciding on how to approach the situation “so, sneak in or knock the door down and start shooting?”

You only responded with pulling your gun out and shooting the lock and kicking the door open

“Daddy’s home!” You stormed through the house and held the surprised man at gunpoint

Yelena walked through the door following you “just full on craziness then, okay”

“What the hell are you doing in my house?! Who are you??!” The moustached man was scared and you could tell, he was trying to act tough though in front of his lady friend, it’s okay though she isn’t the one you were here for

“White widow can you take this lovely lady out of here and make sure she gets home safely Spasibo”

Yelena nodded and offered the lady her hand which she took “we are quite sorry about the intrusion, I hope you forgive us”

The lady nodded taking Yelena’s hand “okay” you were glad she wasn’t in the mood for an argument, you didn’t want to kill two people “thank you Miss”

When the two women left you looked back at Vision “so why do you think I’m here?” You asked casually while still pointing the gun at him

“How the hell should I know?? Who are you?!” He was stressed and it nearly made you laugh “you’ve tried sleeping with Wanda maximoff twice, and both times you’ve never made her cum, you don’t deserve her”

The man was perplexed, how the hell did you know what he did with Wanda “how do you know I’ve slept with Wanda, did she tell you? And why do you care??”

You stepped close enough to him to press the gun against his chest “Wanda belongs to me, and watching you try and pathetically fail to fuck her was horrendous, and then for her to tell me you’ve been stalking her, what a pathetic excuse of a man you are”

He tried moving away but your gun pressed harder into his chest “you’re crazy, I’m pretty sure Wanda doesn’t belong to you”

You smiled “she does, she doesn’t know it yet but she definitely belongs to me, and you being a prick is slowing that process down so I do apologise but I have to kill you”

His face went white, all bravado flown out of the window and it made you giddy, you loved when they got like this, all scared, some wet themselves too but you hated that, totally killed the mood when that happened

“You can’t kill me! The police will find you” he was scrambling

“Well it’s been 10 years and I’ve yet to be caught yet so I don’t believe they’ll catch me for this”

“Okay but the gun will make a loud sound and the neighbours will get suspicious!”

“I’ve got a silencer dipshit, as I said I’ve done it for 10 years, I’m no amateur”

You pulled the trigger refusing to let him continue, the bullet went straight through his heart killing him instantly, you didn’t waste time standing around admiring your work instead calling a clean up crew

“Bucky, follow my location and clean up quickly and quietly” you hung up and left the house heading back to Wanda like you promised, she was going to be so happy you were sure of it.

[poppyberry]

See, the wild cards are NOT unbalanced. I reject that notion very very strongly. It's complete nonsense to me. If anything, the wild cards have so far all been extraordinarily fair and not biased towards players with any particular skillset. What is causing a massive difference in lives between players in something else entirely.

To start with, the first one? Obviously not biased to any particular skill.

The hunger? What, you're going to argue some players are better at eating than others? Better at resource management, maybe, but with the edible food changing at random all the time, I really don't see how anyone's skills gave them a leg up. Skill is a factor in surviving mobs, not the wild card: if anything, players with less skill could have used the various food-given buffs to their advantage in a fight with good planning.

The snails? There's no skill required to survive them. Nobody died from lack of skill. No particular fighting or parkour ability was needed to escape them.

So why is there such a drastic difference between players' ability to survive? It all comes down to their individual personalities, and how each of them tackles an unexpected problem being presented to them. Some of them panic, others remain calm. Many make the lethal mistake of trying to beat the wild card instead of using it, and that's when they die.

Many of the deaths in the third session happened because players were trying to find a way to trap or destroy the snails, instead of accepting and embracing the mechanic like they should. Once the initial shock wears off, it becomes abundantly clear that the wild cards are intended to be tools.

The size-changing had incredible potential in PVP and resource gathering, but it was just an intro: just a simple mechanic that was easy and quick to get a grasp of.

The food one gave players practically infinite options for making the game easier for themselves. You can fly. You can get all sorts of buffs. Grian himself even gives away the game when he tries to rally Mumbo and Skizz to use the various buffs for mining; that was probably his original intention for how the wild card should be used. Grian deliberately used this session for resource gathering; in fact, I'd say the second wild card encouraged players to gather as many resources as possible in the early game, because you don't know what will be useful on the next reroll (or for future wild cards).

The snails provided new ways to steal lives from players without engaging in pvp; that's why Grian immediately states killing via snail is allowed and encouraged, and even reveals he has his own ideas of how players should go about it. It's clearly part of why the drowning mechanic exists as well; you could drown another player's snail, or force them into having to save their snail from drowning and then dying to it, like what happened to BDubs.

However, some players, such as Tango and Impulse, are naturally the type to try and beat an unbeatable mechanic, and got hyper focused on experimenting to find ways to permanently beat their own snails, and became easy prey. You can't beat the wild card, but they couldn't help but try because that's who they are.

Meanwhile, some players think just as inventively, but from the opposite direction: rather than just wonder how to beat the mechanic, they think about how they can use it to their advantage: Etho (and Martyn) got closest to Grian's intention of the snails essentially being used as assassins. If anything, Etho's invisibility plan improved upon Grian's original vision. They still died due to being occasionally caught off guard, but fared better than those that got stuck on trying to get rid of the snails.

Lizzie, Cleo, Scott, Gem and Joel (and BigB, after his initial ambush death) of course all survived their snails by adapting to the wild card. The difference between them and Etho and Martyn is their lack of risk taking; while Etho and Martyn went running around in the Nether for assassination supplies, all of the still dark greens played really, really safe.

Meanwhile, some players, such as Skizz, Scar, and Jimmy, played it very unsafe, but failed to take advantage of how the snails were meant to be used, even when Grian was trying to spell it out for them, and struggled because of it.

TLDR: the wild cards are weapons and should be treated as such. Trying to circumvent them is what is killing the players so fast, not any inherent imbalance in the cards themselves. Every single one of the players* has equal opportunity to use the cards to their own advantage. It's just a question of whether someone will.

*besides Grian, who is not trying to win anyway

Most importantly, I’m glad the lifers are having fun, and Wild Life has been a blast so far.