#Aromantic Sirius Black

[scarlicbread27]

“aroace sirius black!” i shout from my shady little corner.

[albi-bumblebee]

Aroweek

[Yes I was supposed to do a different fic for this, and post it in the middle of the week, but it got too big and I had to shift focus to write something shorter.]

Here’s Sirius telling James he doesn’t feel romantic love!

Sirius had been staring at the unmarked, plain stretch of stonewall for about an hour.

His body had dissolved into thousands of little particles, floating in the air. 

If he listened close enough, he could hear a faint buzzing. 

He was adrift.

James had insisted on Sirius taking Doris Purkiss out on a triple date with him, Lily, Remus, and Peter for Valentine's day. 

Said he didn't want Sirius to be alone, really, he was seventeen and handsome and smart, he ought to have gone out with a girl by now, right?

Sirius had relented, for some reason only Merlin knew.

It went terribly. Every time she tried to touch him his skin would start feeling like it was covered in hives, and his stomach would twist.

The fact that Doris was a simpering, overconfident twit made it even worse, he couldn't even enjoy her company. 

She reminded him of Peter in a way, oddly enough, though they looked nothing like each other and Peter was as insecure as he was dumb.

After the disaster at Madam Puddifoots, James and Lily left them to go get off. Remus and Peter went back early to study more for an upcoming test, which he and James were already prepared for.

Doris dragged him off to Hogsmeade Park, and attempted kiss him under yew tree. Sirius was disgusted, and shoved her away, then marched back to school early.

He wished he could be angry at James, but he couldn't, not really…he just didn't understand. Sirius was a lost cause in the realm of romance, he had known this himself since he was fourteen-ish. 

Creaking. The Dormitory door squeaked open. 

Something snapped, and Sirius felt his consciousness be thrust back into his body. Soft particles turned to rough flesh.

James' peeked into the dormitory, his face taut. His features relaxed as he realised it was only Sirius inside.

Sirius gestured for him to come in, and James walked over to his bed.

Sirius immediately noticed that James hair was wet, and his clothes looked crumpled. At least he had presumably achieved his goal for the day…

"You alright? You're so pale, you look like you just spotted a Grim."

"I am a Grim, James...but yeah I feel pretty shitty. Lady luck not on my side today, 'guess."

"It to do with Doris? Really mate, I didn't anticipate that you'd dislike her that much."

Sirius sighed. James stood in front of him.

"Look, who the date was was never going to really matter in the end, it always would've ended horribly. It's my fault for going along with the idea."

"What'd ya mean?"

"Don't pretend like you have never noticed…we all know I've never been the sort for romance."

James tugged at his sleeve.

"Lots of boys are more interested in the—erm—physical aspects, that doesn't mean you won't find someone to love eventually."

"James, that's not what I meant. I've never liked the idea of it, and I've never been attracted to anyone, ever, not a single crush."

Remember that time Peter and Cresswell shoved me and Mary under that jinxed mistletoe? Remember how much I deliberated over kissing her, and how upset I was after it? I fucking hated it. Doris tried to kiss me and it felt like a slug was assaulting my face. I'm not like you and Lily."

James didn't seem to know what to say to this. He clapped his hand to his chin, then brought it back down and swished it. Sirius wasn't concerned, James never could stay still even on a good day.

"You're sure? Like really sure that you're not just late in that department or something?"

"Yes, James."

James was silent for a bit.

"Okay. If you've never liked anyone that way…then do you wank?"

"Shut up."

"I'm just asking…"

"Fine. I do sometimes, but I don't think about anyone while I do it. Whatever. How did it go with Lily?"

James hummed. His mouth stretched into a grin.

"Great. Made love in a shower. Then had a bubble fight in the shower. Ran into Snivellus on the way back, I tripped him."

"Don't think you can really make 'love' in a shower, Prongs."

"Semantics. Whatever…I'm sorry for setting you up with Doris. I didn't even know you could dislike kissing and that sort of stuff, I just thought you were being immature and all that."

"It's okay, just don't do it again. If you need someone to set up, my brother's right there. He couldn't get a date on his own if his soul was on the line."

"Yeah, lost cause that one…too bad we're graduating, if we just had one more year we'd be able to humiliate him next Valentine's."

The bed dipped as James sat down. He threw his arm around Sirius, and pressed himself against him.

"So you really don't think there's something wrong with me?" He asked tentatively after a while.

"I think it's a bit weird, but nothing could ever well and truly be wrong with you, Padfoot. You're my best friend. I'll always want you just as you are"

Something soft unfurled in his chest. He made sure to school his expression into a plain one, resisting the temptation of the small smile fighting to upturn the corners of his lips.

"You soppy bastard."

"Beyzud, you're the one who started talking about emotions."

"Still a soppy bastard."

The clock ticked on, hitting five p.m. 

Sirius decided to just let the smile creep onto his face as they watched the sun set through the dormitory window.

[verrescent]

why are people so scared of character being aromantic. like why does everyone have to end up with someone why can't someone literally just not feel romantically abt anybody bcuz they can't OR!!! don't want to??? and it's not about 'finding the right person' cuz it was cute or wtv the first five times but you're telling me that no matter what there is no way this character... doesnt end up 'alone'? why do you just consider people incomplete, a lone part??

its poetic or whatever but also just really.... excessive. like ur saying to me the only way this character who is commonly dumbed down to gay slut who falls in love easily n is a (h/b)imbo is if everyone dies... yeah okay. if you say so....

[lemongrass77777-moved]

I don’t care about the posters of the muggle girls. you will never pry AroAce Sirius Black away from me, not even if my hands are cold, and blue, and brittle.

[runwiththerain]

when does sirius figure that he’s aroace(/that he doesn’t feel the same about romance and sex as his friends)

psa this is talking about canon sirius

firstly, i feel like sirius has always had a skewed point of view on love because of what was displayed by his parents in his childhood. he believes love is conditional and that you can earn it, in fact, he believes you have to earn it. (this is part of why his relationship with regulus isn't as close as the fandom perceives, he doesn't think regulus has earnt his love or vice versa.) in first year that belief starts to be deconstructed by james loving him unconditionally and what he learns about james' parents.

in third year is when sirius first thinks something is wrong with him. james is obsessed with lily and he just doesn't understand why. peter was asked out by a hufflepuff and they go on a date and sirius doesn't understand why pete would say yes to someone he doesn't know well. he still struggles to believe that you don't have to work for love and he also fails to understand the concept of attraction.

in fourth year both sirius and remus can't sleep and sirius starts going on a rant about how he doesn't understand how james and pete want to go out with girls and not spend time with remus and himself anymore. so remus asks him if he's gay and he says yes. that must be it. and pleads remus not to tell anyone.

fifth year has girls asking sirius out left and right but he says no to all of them. in the first half of the year, the day after a full moon he and remus are talking after he had brought some chocolate to him and remus finally confesses his crush on sirius. sirius doesn't understand why you would like someone like that but is too afraid to hurt remus' feelings and split the group apart so he fakes attraction back. the prank happens at the end of fifth year and that's how remus and sirius break up. their relationship was messy enough, trying to hide it and sirius trying to give remus the romantic and sexual love he wants. sirius and the rest of the marauders stop talking and he leaves for the summer break ostracised.

james and lily start dating at the start of sixth year and james can't stop talking about how wonderful lily is and all the dates they go on and sirius catches james and lily having sex in their dorm too many times. peter is dating sybill trelawney and sirius is over it, he just wants the marauders to go back to the way they were in the earlier years. he's still awkward around remus and their relationship never truly fixes itself. at the end of the sixth year he goes home to find regulus getting his dark mark and is completely over his family and everything that's gone on with the marauders and relationships during the years. he packs a trunk and heads to the potters and breaks down in effie's arms saying that he doesn't understand love.

i genuinely think sirius could live his whole life without knowing what aromanticism and asexuality is but i'll give this a happy enough ending anyway.

throughout seventh year the marauders, lily, mary and marlene get closer because of their ongoing fears about the war. marlene had always been a close friend of sirius, even staying by him during the aftermath of the prank, and their friendship had always been queer, even including marlene letting him know she was a lesbian in fourth year. he lets marlene know how he's felt over the years and how he just doesn't understand how broken he could be. in return, she lets him know she had a muggle friend who feels similarly and they go by the labels aromantic and asexual. he finally feels a sense of clarity within himself and his lack of attraction and takes on his labels, but because of the upcoming war he never gets a chance to tell the marauders.

[m-lupin77777]

sirius is aroace but he still flirts with all his friends

[strwbi-laces]

I cannot bear you a son

Sirius Black has earned her name. She earns her name with every second she exists. Like she earns it now, cold glass pressed agains her bare shoulders. James likes to keep the curtains open at night so the streetlamp across the road can shine through. Once again, Sirius is blocking her from the light.

James has been awake for a few minutes now, lying in bed and staring at her silhouette. She’s pretending she isn’t, holding herself so still but Sirius knows and James knows she knows.

Sirius knows.

When she gets up and walks over, the first thing James does is copy the way she is sitting. Holds her cheek to window so they can be cold together.

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asks so softly. Sirius shakes her head. James reaches out and folds Sirius’ fingers into her palm, the way they do in period pieces when the lord is about to kiss his lady. James grips both her hands like that and pulls them to her chest.

Sirius’ face burns where James’ eyes land, too hot, too intense for someone like her. She can see what’s behind them and she is terrified. It is something she has no place for. Once James throws it at her, she will be forced to carry it as there is nowhere else for it to go.

Not yet. Don’t love me yet, please. Let me have this a little longer.

James is in love with her and Sirius knows. She also knows that there is a voice in the back of her mind screaming at her to make James stop. Because Sirius cannot love her back, not the way she needs it.

She could try for James. She’ll do whatever she wants because James makes Sirius good. This kind of love isn’t natural to her but if the gardens she comes from are anyway rotten then isn’t unnatural better? She’ll carry it for as long as she can and maybe someday James will tire of her cold. Decide she never did deserve it.

Sirius will try to love James and dream about that day in the meantime.

[di-daynamic]

@prongsfoot-microfic May Day 28: Window

Sirius liked looking through the window of the house in Godric’s Hollow.

He’d been looking through windows all his life. Windows of the houses in his neighbourhood. Screaming. Crying. Laughing. Playing. Tripping. He’d seen it all. Families of all kinds.

The family he’d never had the chance of having.

Godric’s Hollow was more personal. The man he’d been half in love with since they were eleven, smiling and laughing and loving with his wife and son.

Sirius loved James and Lily and Harry more fiercely and desperately and intensely than most people had ever loved anyone in their lives.

And just because that love was not romantic, people thought it somehow meant less, that he wasn’t every bit part of the family as any of them.

James was his best friend, the person he loved most in the world, the oxygen in the air for him.

Lily had, once upon a time, just been James’ girl.

Not for long.

He’d been best man at Prongs and Lily’s wedding. He’d held her hand while she was giving birth. He and Lily drank and cried together about Regulus and Petunia. He slept on their bed with them whenever he stayed over – which was fairly often.

Sex was another thing altogether, but Sirius had no desire for romance or family other than the one he already had, as much as that seemed unbelievable to people.

Sirius tore his eyes off the window, smiling.

He had no need to look at families through windows anymore, far from the lonely, desperate, curious child he’d been.

He walked through the door. Lily and James looked up from where they’d been sitting together on the couch, smiling brightly. They immediately shifted to make space for him; Lily closing her book and James passing Harry to him.

Sirius bounced his godson on his knee.

“How was your day, Padfoot?” James asked lazily, non-verbally creating colourful bubbles and small fireworks for Harry.

“Better than yesterday, I hope,” Lily smirked at him. “I don’t need another Sirius Black bitch fest today.”

“You love bitching with Sirius, love,” James laughed. “The two of you are unbearable together.”

“Are not!” The two chorused indignantly, before they exchanged grins and started ribbing James. He groaned and loudly bemoaned his lot in life.  

Sirius smiled to himself. Yeah, he had no need for anything more.

[james-effing-potter]

To be completely honest, I think Sirius Black is aromantic, but nobody else seems to be ready for that conversation.

[woods2]

on behalf of jkr’s recent aphobic post, i will be writing several one shots of all the characters i like to headcanon on the aroace spectrum. nothing says motivation like spite towards the bigots

[sorenphelps]

too busy being a rebel

part of my marauders era pride series; celebrating aroace folks🖤🤍🩶💜

i fully support the aroace Sirius agenda, partly because it’s basically canon, partly because there was a large chunk of my adult life when i identified as a-spec! representation really matters, cause there is no such thing as being too pretty to be ace (i was told this so many times back then), you don’t own anyone shit and you are all valid and i love you

[scarlicbread27]

i’m sobbing over an aromantic sirius fic of all things (with qpr wolfstar)

[albi-bumblebee]

Classmate: I think I’m falling for you >-< Sirius: Then get up :/

[starkayezer]

I do love me a good "regulus is the heart of the lion!!!!! jegulus!!!!!" but guys. GUYS. BLACK BROTHERS PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Sirius is also a gryffindor, therfore, he could also be the lion. Regulus means everything to him!!!!! he's his baby brother!!!!! his heart!!!!!!!

im not against things being romantic, but I feel like so many fiction works heavily lean on romance. Romantic love isn't the only form of love, and I feel like it would be nice to explore familial, platonic, and all other sorts of love more because they're also incredibly important

plus like aromantic representation if we make the characters aro

anyway Regulus = Sirius' heart 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ ty goodbye

[lemongrass77777-moved]

I wrote Sirius angsting about the fact he can’t feel romantic love because I’m a hopeless romantic arospec person who likes to project.

Wordcount: 261

***********************

Sirius was sitting on James’ king-sized mattress with him and Lily.

James’ face was scrunched into his shoulder, Lily was sleeping next to James.

The air was sweet, the only light coming from a dragon lamp on James’ desk. His Martin Miggs The Mad Muggle bed-sheet had a cum stain on it.

James clearly hadn’t yet redecorated his childhood bedroom.

The napalm intoxication of the previous night had already left Sirius, he just wanted to rot in James’ duvet for as long as possible at that point.

“…Sirius, Sirius, I just realised, they’re called pancakes because they’re cakes you fry in a pan.”

Sirius didn’t have the heart to tell him that all cakes were made in pans, and so just pressed his lips against James’.

James blushed, and kissed back.

Sirius let himself indulge in their closeness, James hands carding through his hair. It was lovely, so lovely that someone would ever want him this way, yet Sirius knew he didn’t feel the same way.

If James was a million memories of board games, and quidditch, and sneaking out, and drinking cheap firewhispy, and the fiery light in the dark room of childhood innocence, then all Sirius saw was an eighteen year old in a inky black room that was lit by a light that would soon be thrown in a rubbish bin.

James lowered his face from Sirius’, and laid down on Sirius’ bare chest.

Sirius didn’t know how to say “I love you, but not the way you love me,” so he didn’t.

Sirius never fell asleep that night.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I’m going to start QPRing/non-shipping ships, and not just any ships, but the ships everyone “agrees” on.

Merlin and Arthur - QPR hardcore, kissing is okay, sex not so much, committed

Sirius and Remus - not romantically together, both aro coded HARD sex is 100% on the table, they’re committed but also just vibin no romo yes homo

Buck and Eddie - QPR. No notes

Enid and Wednesday - honestly Wednesday was always repulsed aroace coded to me, so maybe QPR but more friends who have a closer relationship

I have more I’m just tired but everyone add their own!!