#And the issue from before was like if queer people should be allowed in the bathrooms they identify as.

[memories-break-our-fall]

there is a teacher I have i hate her so much ugh (vent in tags includes mild homophobia so uh. ig don’t read it if you don’t wanna see that)

[giantkillerjack]

Exactly! I totally get why someone would be hyper aware of queerbaiting and erasure, but just imagine how out of place and weird it would be if that woman then said,

"Hello I am his wife and we are in a straight relationship."

Like, your brain would be so stuck trying to interpret what the fuck that was that you wouldn't hear any of the incredibly cool and complex mystery stuff that happens in the next 5 minutes!

so I finished watch glass onion like 30 minutes ago and it was fucking incredible. absolute masterpiece. but I wanted to talk about The Gay Moment for a hot sec.

so maybe this is a sign that I Have Been On The Internet Too Much Today but I was scrolling through the glass onion tag and I kept seeing this theme of people not realising until afterwards that High Grant is Blanc's husband

and people in the replys keep saying 'oh I don't blame you, it was blink and you miss it, it wasn't explicit enough, etc.' but guys you are missing the point.

the point is that if a woman opened blanc's apartment door, wearing and apron and covered in flour, your first reaction would not have been 'ah yes, Benoit blanc's maid/roommate/cleaner'

I'm sorry loves that is not the movie being unclear that is just the power of heteronormativity

[starlightomatic]

ngl feel really really weird about the direction we've gone wrt internet safety for teens. when i was a kid it was hammered into us that we should never reveal our real names, our faces, or our ages on the internet. in fact it was extremely important not to reveal your age bc if you did, predators could target you.

now we've decided that the locus of potential sexual harm from adults is not predators who set out to target teens, but rather well-meaning adults who might accidentally let a minor see smut on their blog. so we make everyone broadcast their ages to everyone. which puts a target on the backs of teens who are now advertising to everyone that they're underage.

we also situate sexual harm of minors in "a minor saw sexual content!!" which, listen, im sorry to tell you this but teenagers have sex drives and want to see sexual content. a 16yo is not being harmed by reading a smut fic.

now i do understand why nsfw blogs don't allow minors to interact, bc the interaction constitutes an issue since that's on some level a teen and adult interacting sexually. but the issue is not that a teen saw something sexual, it's that you should not be having that interaction with them. still i am not convinced that that is riskier than giving predators knowledge of who to target.

i also worry what happens when all the well meaning people with best practices turn teens out of their spaces -- who does that end up leaving them with? i'm not saying the solution is to invite them in but there has to be some other, third option. i also think we need to understand the difference between a 17yo liking a sex-related shitpost on tumblr vs an actual intentionally predatory sexual interaction from an adult.

i don't think it's necessarily bad to set a boundary and not allow them to like the shitpost, but i don't like the idea that it was harmful for them to have even seen it. i think it's actually positive for teens to have exposure to adults who are talking about sexuality in consent-based, sex-positive, queer-informed ways to balance out all the shitty, sexist bioessentialist perspectives they're getting elsewhere.

also again, we should remember that the issue is sex-based interactions between teens and adults, NOT that teens are bad or wrong for being interested in sex and sexuality. if a really young teen is too interested in that it could be concerning but age-appropriate levels of sexuality are fine and good and i don't want kids to think they're wrong, dirty, or bad for experiencing sexuality.

i think there's a balance here where we need to make sure interactions are safe without diving headfirst into a spring-awakening-style world where we assume teens are too innocent and pure to know anything about sex which results in risky behavior, not practicing safe sex, and not understanding consent. and i get worried sometimes that the current culture around this leads us there.

i especially worry about this in regards to kink and bdsm because i don't know if there are any educational resources out there geared to teens. i do think it's a good idea to wait until you're 18 before doing anything hardcore or too intense, or even kink at all, but if they're going to anyway (and some will) i'd rather teens have a solid safety backing and knowledge as opposed to just acting on instinct because that can really be dangerous. and something i really worry about is people who turn 18 and immediately show up to play parties and start hooking up with people without having that background knowledge because they were prevented from accessing it before then, since it's so easy for abusers to exploit them. young adult women are already extremely vulnerable in those spaces.

i don't know what my exact solution to these issues is but i feel really concerned about where we're heading. i've been wanting to say something for a while but have been afraid that people would interpret this the wrong way. i'm sure some still will, but i hope this can at least start a conversation about these issues.

[memryse]

if mcyt isn’t fiction then

people who create dnd characters that are similar to them in personality are just playing themselves and should not be treated as having made a character

people who make any other dnd character should also be treated as just playing themselves since people refuse to even consider roleplay smps as fiction

any ocs someone puts a bit of themselves into? nope not fiction!

actors who play a character with the same first name as them aren’t really acting

and so on

maybe YOU can’t separate characters and real people and think that everything you see from a youtuber even when they’re explicitly acting is how they are in real life but we as a fandom just don’t have that issue lol. we’ve had disclaimers and indicators for when we’re talking about characters and not content creators for years because a certain smp contained a character having suicidal thoughts as a result of abuse at the hands of another character and we needed to make it absolutely crystal clear that we were referring to a fictional storyline and not real guy #1 being an abuser and real guy #2 being suicidal. these customs have either extended into other corners of mcyt fandom, or some developed their own independently like hispanic mcyt fans have used the word cubito to distinguish mc guy from real life guy from years, a term that other language speakers liked so much we’ve also started picking it up lol

we know exactly what we’re doing. i get that the line maybe does seem more blurred to an outsider looking in (i wouldn’t know given that both my first fandom at age 12 and current fandom at age 20 were mcrp lol) but it’s universally understood amongst us. i don’t have a problem separating hermitcraft!gem and empires s1!gem the wizard with a twin brother and empires s2!gem the princess and cc!gem the real life canadian woman.

idk it rubs me the wrong way that after years of trying to explain this we’re either met with people calling us racists because of three guys that the rest of us (all of us, really, because dream team fans do not claim to be minecraft fans. those are the type to actually write rpf and ship the real life racist guys) hate probably a lot more than any of you do, or they watch a few minutes of a less roleplay-heavy series/part and decide that the entire medium is invalid as a form of storytelling

it’s so annoying. i don’t think we need to be understood to have validity as a fandom we’ve been doing this for years already without that but it is so infuriating and sad how whenever there’s some kind of fandom poll thing one of three things happens

mcyt fans are banned outright and placed on the same level as something like hp

an mcyt fan runs their own and gets harassed for it

a non-mcyt fan allows us in until they get harassed so badly by whatever fandoms we go up against that they end up deleting our bracket

in what world is that normal behaviour. and that harassment always involves calling them all racist cishet white men such as misgendering both eret (real life bisexual genderqueer person) and their character (also queer), attempting to harass jimmy solidarity fans because jimmy makes mc videos so he must be a dream associate (the only time they interacted was in a tournament during which dream and georgenotfound shittalked jimmy’s best friends to his face), all the shit quackity has gotten for being a former friend of the dream team as if he wasn’t the #1 victim of their racism and xenophobia, the fact that any time c!technoblade is involved in a poll we have to beg other fandoms not to talk shit about him because the real life man died of cancer before dream’s grooming allegations came out, similarly when tfc was in one. and so on and so forth. all because people can’t separate roleplay and real life and think that the entire minecraft sphere revolves around dream just because their idea of mcyt does (not even his own smp named after him did that).

[mottlemoth]

Re: "But don't you find it beautiful and meaningful that Izzy got to experience happiness before he died? He ended his life surrounded by love and that was great for him."

You folks are sailing right past our one main issue here. Namely, why did he have to die at all?

It's a comedy show - a comedy show where not-really-deaths outnumber actual deaths by ten to one - why did Izzy have to die? Some of you are talking as if he died the way that people in real life die, like it's one of those things you just can't change. But this wasn't like that. This was a constructed narrative where a decision was made that not only should he be dead at the end of the series, but that it should be confirmed beyond all doubt with OFMD's only grave. Even the Badmintons weren't shown in their graves.

So why did Izzy have to die?

And why do so many of you find it fitting and appropriate that he died? This is a good opportunity to sit down with yourself and maybe examine your own thoughts around ageing and disability. Con O'Neill is in his 50s, not his 90s, and a missing limb is not some kind of down payment on death. The show even went out of its way to fit him with a new leg, breathe new life into him. So "he had to die because he was basically halfway out of the door" is rooted in some nasty ideas about ageing and disability, ideas which you should not allow to fester in yourself. Dig those out. If you're healthy and young, this might seem like a very remote issue to you. It won't always be.

David Jenkins has indicated in interviews that Izzy had to die because (1) he was Ed's 'mentor', a frankly baffling assertion which is contrary to nearly everything established about Ed and Izzy's relationship in the show, and (2) "it's a pirate show."

Okay! It's a pirate show. Seems fair at first.

Until you remember it's also a comedy show where guys turn into birds and people routinely survive explosions and gun shots and being stabbed through the liver on a regular basis. Throughout the narrative, OFMD has established and confirmed over and over and over again that it upholds the comedic law that death is never really death. You can relax seeing Roach fall from the rigging because it's a comedy show - they're not going to do that to you.

But then they did.

They reversed that fundamental law within the world just so that Izzy could die - and so that Izzy could just die. Nothing came of his death. It didn't open up a new section of plotline or change anything. The show could have ended with Izzy off on adventures with the crew he'd grown to love.

Instead he just died. And we're struggling to understand why.

Telling us that he got to be happy before he died doesn't make any sense. If it was all so beautiful and meaningful to see him experience temporary happiness, wouldn't it have been nice to see him happy ever after?

So why did the writers give him death instead?

We're scared that it's 2023 and some folks still think it's just fitting for visibly queer characters to be tantalised with happiness then struck down. We're scared that at the bottom of this, it makes sense to you that Izzy died because you think he was old and broken and no use to anyone now. We're scared to have discovered that even the show which said kindness, kindness, kindness right from the start had none for this character we loved, and we're scared that you find it so beautiful.

[sapphicsvibes]

my last post was also about the discussions of transmisogyny centering cis female athletes who are women of color. there is a wider conversation being had about transmisogyny in athletics, and that is that, trans women aren't even allowed to compete. before we start discussing how transmisogyny impacts not trans fems, we need to actually center the discussion around the heavily, transmisogynstic shit that is already happening.

and when we talk about how cis woc athletes being overly masculinized and decide to call it transmisogyny instead of what it actually is, racism, it sets us back. there is this understood idea that people can be indirectly impacted by transmisogyny, but unless the subjects of those conversations are transfeminine people, then the focus shouldn't be transmisogyny.

it should be racism. it should be the fact that the white, western gender binary and idea of femininty/womanhood is so fucked up that cis girls of color from a young age are viewed as more masculine, dangerous and larger than white women. we should be focusing on the complexities of misogynoir that black girls go through from childhood to adult hood where we are both masculinized and also hypersexualized and exposed to harmful race science that gets us preyed upon by older men. we should focus on how these conversations of masculinizing women of color comes to play in how white women and white afabs (yes, i know i said i dont like using afabs but i am starting ot use it when discussing the lived experience of white afab people and how that negatively impacts people of color in queer spaces) can utilize their privilege, tears, femininity, etc., to turn society against cis girls of color and how we are automatically seen as a threat to them

we need to talk about racialized misogyny when dicussing imane khelif, and how white women like jk rowling, who has a history of transmigoyny yes, but also anti-arab/MENA racism and islamaphobia, and is prominent in alt right groups, is using her platform to attack a possible muslim, MENA woman. and that's a big thing that hardly anyone talks about - Rowling is heavily islamphobia and anti-arab. when you se guys see her attacking a MENA woman, and decide to focus solely on transmisogyny, you are quite literally erasing a huge chunk of her bigotry.

yes, indirect transmisogyny comes to play, but when you are talking about racialized misogyny, you NEED to make sure that is the main focus - racism and misogyny, because if you don't you make it hard if not impossible for us to have any type of productive conversation. you guys being too afraid to call out racism and misogyny makes it seem like you are shielding white women/afabs and white society from the pain they have put women of color through for decades.

the same goes for misogynoir??? like when we are talking about misogynoir and them completely ignore it and lump it under transmisogyny, who does that help? not only does the black community have an issue with transmisogyny in general, but it also erases a term that we've come up with to help better discuss our oppression.

also, this isn't to say that trans woc don't face racialized misogyny and misogynoir (black transfems!) because they do. but it should be understood that while THEY face these things, transmisogyny is something that should also center them. and while we, as non trans fem women do face racialized misogyny/misogynoir - yeah, sometimes we can draw comparisons between transmisogyny, but we shouldn't be the ones taking the lead or taking platforms.

and last but not least, the way you guys who are claiming what is happening to cis female athletes is transmisogynistic. Do you know how many trans people, who aren't trans fem, that i've seen saying

"see, this is why we need to talk about transmisogyny affecting non transfems! xyz athlete was actually born a woman, she's not a man, she is afab! she has a vagina!" do you realize how that language is terfy, do you realize how you guys will try to hijack convos of transmisogyny while also reinforcing transmisogynistic requirements of what makes a woman a woman?

[xiaq]

Part 1 Here

Prompts combined for Pt. 2 are : Outsider POV, Steve Harrington is an idiot (affectionate), Wayne Finds Out, and Everyone is Queer Because I Said So.

Wayne Munson knows he’s not the best parental figure. He never liked kids. Never wanted kids. And he nearly said no when the social worker called asking if he wanted to take guardianship of his thirteen-year-old nephew. Because surely there was someone better suited. Except then the social worker told him why Eddie had been removed from his father’s care. About the magazines Eddie’s father had found in Eddie’s backpack that preceded him kicking Eddie out. About the fights Eddie had been getting into at school. About the song lyrics his temporary foster had found in his journal. And suddenly Wayne wasn’t so sure there was a better option. He knew there had to be people more equipped to raise a traumatized queer teenager, but there was no guarantee Eddie would end up with one of them. The opposite was far more likely. Wayne knew firsthand that much of the world was unkind to people like them.

In the years that follow, they don’t talk about it. He figured once he’d won the kid’s trust, Eddie would bring it up in his own time. Or maybe Eddie would ask why Wayne spends a weekend in Indy once a month or maybe ask who he’s spending the weekends with. But somehow those conversations never happen and Wayne doesn’t force them. 

It’s not until he finds Steve Fucking Harrington keeping vigil at Eddie’s hospital bedside that he thinks maybe he should have pushed the issue sooner. 

Because Harrington looks like he’s been through a war. He’s covered in blood and grime; only his arms, washed to his elbows where he’s holding Eddie’s hand, are clean. He’s looking at Eddie with naked emotion. And, perhaps most damning, he’s wearing Eddie’s battle jacket.

When Wayne enters the room, Harrington startles and says, “Hi. I’m Steve Harrington,” like Wayne and everyone else in Hawkins weren’t already aware of that.

“I know who you are. I know who your father is, too.”

“I’d uh, prefer you didn’t hold that against me.”

Wayne makes no promises. “How do you know Eddie?”

“We’re…friends,” Steve says. There’s a continent of things unsaid behind the word.

“And how are you in his room past visiting hours?”

“I bribed the nurse," he admits. “I didn’t want him to be alone.”

“Well. On that, we’re agreed. But I’m here now. And no offense, kid, but you look like you should be in one of these beds yourself.”

“Yeah. I told them once you got here I’d let them stitch me up. It’s not anything life-threatening.” He says this with the resigned intonation of someone who is familiar with the difference.

What the fuck has Eddie gotten himself involved in?

Harrington stands. It’s a slow, painful, movement, and he only lets go of Eddie’s hand at the last possible second. “Can I—I’d like to come back. After. If you don’t mind.”

Wayne considers him. He considers Eddie’s blood-smeared vest on the kid’s shoulders. He realizes, belatedly, that Eddie’s guitar pick necklace is hanging around Harrington’s bruised throat, the rings usually crammed onto Eddie’s fingers lined up on either side of the pick.

“Sure,” he says. “Be nice to have some company. And you can tell me what the hell happened.”

Harington sighs. “Not sure how much I’m allowed to tell. Or how much you’ll believe. But I can try.”

Wayne takes his place holding Eddie’s hand.

He tries to ignore the fact that Harrington stands in the doorway for more than a minute, just looking, before finally slipping into the hall.

He’s back a few hours later, clearly showered, wrapped in gauze, and wearing the preppiest goddamn outfit. Honestly, Wayne can’t fathom how Eddie and Harrington have anything in common. He’s also still wearing the necklace, though. And when he pulls up a chair to sit on the opposite side of Eddie’s bed, he removes the necklace and carefully, downright tenderly, returns the rings to Eddie’s fingers. Wayne notices, almost despite himself, that Harrington isn’t just guessing at the placement, either. He knows. So either he’s intimately familiar with Eddie’s fingers––something that, as impossible as it sounds, is starting to seem more and more likely––or he’s particularly observant. And that kind of observance speaks to its own sort of devotion. 

Wayne isn’t excited about either of these options.

He’s trying to figure out how to ask if Steve Fucking Harrington is Eddie’s boyfriend without scaring him away when Eddie shifts, which has Wayne and Steve both jumping to their feet.

“Wayne?” he murmurs. And Wayne isn’t one for emotional displays but he finds himself participating in one for the next few minutes nonetheless.

Once he gets ahold of himself, Eddie’s head turns, slow with painkillers, to see Harrington.

“Stevie,” he says, grinning. “Hey. I’m not dead.”

“Despite your best efforts,” Steve chokes out. His hands are fisted under his armpits and he looks about five seconds away from crying. Not that Wayne can judge since he’s more than five seconds into crying.

“What did I tell you, what did you promise?” Harrington snarls.

Eddie’s grin dims. “Not to be a hero. But Dustin––shit. Dustin. Is he...”

“Fine. Sprained ankle. Pissed as hell at you. Everyone else is fine too. Max is down the hall. She has some broken bones but she’ll be alright.”

“Sorry,” Eddie murmurs. “How did I—“

“We went back for you.”

“We?”

“I,” Harrington grits out. “I went back for you. Thought you were dead. Carried you back anyway. Didn’t realize you were still breathing until we got you in the car. Drove like hell to the hospital.”

And that’s. Well, shit. Apparently, Wayne is going to need to temper his distrust of this particular Harrington. Because it sounds like he saved Eddie’s goddamn life.

“He also refused treatment and waited with you until I got here,” Wayne feels he has to add. “Despite the fact he was bleeding everywhere.”

Eddie glances between them, eyes huge. “Shit. I’m sorry. Hey, no, don’t––”

Steve is crying now, not even trying to hide it, and Eddie holds out a hand, wincing. “Come here, man, I’m fine. Or I’ll probably be fine, right?”

“So says the doctor,” Wayne agrees. 

Steve doesn’t need a second invitation.

He all but collapses, carefully, into Eddie’s outstretched arms, and Eddie’s hands bunch into the fabric of Steve’s sweatshirt and he crams his face into Steve’s neck and they’re so––their obvious, desperate, affection for each other is so unapologetic that Wayne has to look away.

 It’s not until later, when they’ve hashed out the basics of the insane upside-down phenomenon, that they finally convince Steve to go home and sleep.

He waits ten seconds after the door has closed to exhale, pressing his palms into his eyes.

“Jesus, kid. I knew you had expensive taste with cigarettes and guitars but this? He’s the closest thing to royalty this town has.”

Eddie lets out a hysterical little warble of a laugh. “No. No, no. That’s not—we’re not.”

“What the hell are you then?”

“Friends. Bonded through extreme trauma.”

“But you’d like to be more than friends.”

Eddie looks at him askance “I’ll take what I can get and I won’t ask for more,” he says quietly.

Unfortunately, Wayne is well familiar with that kind of love. He just can’t get Steve’s expression out of his head. The gentle way he’d replaced Eddie’s rings. He doesn’t think Eddie’s interest is as one-sided as Eddie does. But he doesn’t want to meddle. He’s certain they’ll figure themselves out.

Two months later, Wayne is starting to think they’re both idiots. Because half the time when he gets home from his evening bar shift––a new job after the plant disappeared into the fiery abyss––Steve’s BMW is parked down the street and when he cracks Eddie’s bedroom door he finds them cuddled up, asleep. Sometimes he’ll go to rent a movie and Steve will be wearing a shirt that Wayne knows is Eddie’s and half the time when he wakes Eddie up in the mornings he’s wearing a pastel sweater monogrammed with initials that don’t belong to Eddie. He’d think they’re together and keeping it quiet if not for the fact that Eddie is driving him absolutely insane with pining. He’s written three songs about longing and heartbreak in the last two weeks and if Wayne has to listen to one more wailing ballad he’s going to lose his goddamn mind.

He’s walking back from the bar after closing, only a mile from the new fancy trailer the government had installed for them when he passes Harrington’s conspicuous vehicle a few houses down. He sighs. The boy really has no sense of subtly. 

He’s expecting to find them, as usual, asleep in a tangle of limbs, except when he reaches the porch stairs, he can hear the boys talking.

He pauses with his hand on the railing.

“What are you doing,” Eddie murmurs, voice just carrying from the open living room window.

“Well. I’d like to kiss you, if you’d let me.”

About damn time, Wayne thinks.

“Steve, wait,” Eddie says. And it’s so quiet, so uncertain, that Wayne is tempted to open the door right then if only to prevent Ed from sounding so broken.

“I can’t be a practice run for you,” Eddie says, “Please. I can’t. I wouldn’t survive that.”

“A––what the fuck, Eddie.”

“It’s just, I know this is new to you and I’m, obviously, all about exploration and, um, finding yourself. Congratulations. Yay. But I can’t be an experiment. Not with you. I can’t.”

“You’re not an experiment,” Harrington says, voice a little louder than Wayne would prefer, given the circumstances. The trailer park isn’t exactly spacious. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. I want to kiss you because I’m in love with you, how could you think—besides. This isn’t that new. I’ve kissed other guys.”

“You’ve what? Who? When?”

“Just. You know. Friends messing around. I didn’t know that made me bisexual until I talked about it with Robin but apparently, I’ve been kinda gay this whole time.”

“I’m sorry. You thought making out with your basketball buddies was…a standard heterosexual pastime?”

“Well, when you say it like that.”

“What other way is there to say it?”

“Okay,” Steve says, “I already had this conversation with Robin this morning. I don’t need to rehash it again. So I’m a little bit of an idiot. Memo received.”

“Jesus, Harrington. You just found out bisexuality was a thing this morning and now you’re here, what, asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“I mean, yeah. Ideally.”

“You don’t do anything by halves, do you.” Eddie sounds disgustingly fond.

“Eddie. I just said I love you.”

“You did,” Eddie says, high and cracked. “You did say that.”

“So if we could refocus.”

“Right.”

“I don’t expect you to say it back, but––”

“God, you really are an idiot. Of course I fucking love you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And then that’s––well, that’s probably his nephew getting his first kiss from Steve Fucking Harrington.

Wayne decides to give them to a count of thirty before interrupting, but just as he’s about to stomp his way up the stairs, Eddie says, “Sorry, sorry, I’ve never done this before.”

“Hey, no. It’s ok. Neither have I, really. But you’re crazy if you think I’m going to fuck you right now,” Steve says.

“I meant kissing. Hold on, does that mean you would be willing to fuck me later?”

Wayne winces. There are things he does not need to hear come out of his nephew’s mouth.

“Wait,” Steve interrupts, “You’ve never been kissed before? How is that possible?”

“Who would have kissed me?” Eddie hisses, “ I’m the town pariah. And until I met Robin I didn’t know any other queer people existed in Hawkins. Though apparently, I should have just joined the basketball team since you’re having orgies or whatever.”

“The first two were on the swim team,” Steve says. 

“First two. How many were there?”

Steve ignores him. “And that wasn’t––you’re so hot, though. And your band has played in bigger cities. Haven’t you ever gone up to Indy to any of the bars there?”

“I need you to understand,” Eddie says, “that I am 90% bravado and 100% anxiety.”

“That’s not how percentages work.”

“Steve.”

“Sorry. Okay. Well, if this is your first kiss then I better make it good, huh?”

“Yes. That is absolutely the burden placed upon your capable shoulders should you choose to––oh.”

Eddie stops talking and doesn’t start again, though he does make a breathy little noise that Wayne takes as his cue.

He stomps up the stairs as loudly as possible, fumbling longer than necessary with the door handle, and pushes his way inside.

The boys are both shirtless, clearly in the process of shoving themselves away from each other. Eddie’s face is pink and his lips are kiss-swollen and Harrington’s back has a set of welted scratches on it that Wayne imagines are a perfect match for Eddie’s fingers.

“Well, shit,” Wayne says. He definitely should have opened the door sooner.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Eddie says.

“What the fuck else what it be?” Steve says, only sounding a little hysterical.

Except then the kid is pushing Eddie behind him and squaring up to Wayne with his jaw clenched and his head high, the discolored ring around his neck, still not yet healed, the scars down his belly, on display. Wayne is well-acquainted with the nuance of a man posturing versus a man who would gladly throw himself into a fight, even one he’s not certain he’d win. Steve Harrington is indisputably the latter.

Wayne can’t decide if he’s offended or endeared.

“Stand down, kid, I’m not going to hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t let you.” 

“That is…extremely apparent.”

“Steve,” Eddie says. “It’s ok. He knows. Or. We’ve never really talked about it but.” He meets Wayne’s eyes. “He knows. It’s ok.”

Eddie pushes around him, stepping into Wayne’s open arms.

Steve watches distrustfully as Wayne wraps Eddie in a hug.

“You’re both safe here,” he says. Mostly to Steve, since he’s the one who needs to hear it. “And I’ll call up my boyfriend in Indy and have him vouch for me if you don’t believe me.”

Harrington’s expression is just as magnificent as Wayne hoped it would be.

“Your what?” Eddie shrieks.

Part 3 Here.

On AO3 Here.

Tempted to do one more from one of the kid's POVs when the kids find out. Thoughts?

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[porcelain-gal]

SHIFTING AND MY CONNECTION TO MY GENDER & SEXUALITY

since i like airing out my business for no reason, allow me to share another reason why i want to shift. this time, its a lot more personal and something i'm pretty shy and kinda still struggling to get comfortable talking about.

all my life i have struggled with these things, even now. i grew up in a mostly anti-lgbtq+ family and while my parents and other family members are doing their best to be more acceptive of the community since i do have a brother who is gay and i myself am queer, they still express these prejudice views at times. this isn't to say that they haven't come far because boy, they have come VERY far but it still hurts to know that they would probably never fully accept me in this reality.

aside from that, i have always had trouble with trying to find who i am and what labels i am comfortable with. my sexuality and gender have always jumped all over the place since i was in elementary school. i always knew i liked girls and guys and all of the above but my preference would keep changing and sometimes i'd lose all attraction to a certain gender for a bit before it would just come back full force.

as for my gender, i feel like it had something to do with me growing up around boys so much since i have majority brothers and the fact that being a young chubby black girl means that i always had my femininity doubted and denied by others. i jumped from being a girl to being a trans man to being non-binary and now i'm genderfluid since i just can't pick something to stick with.

i have issues with my gender since i struggle so much with both the feminine and masculine parts of me. i love being a girl and enjoy feminine things and other girls but i never feel fully connected because i was CONSTANTLY told by people that i looked like a boy, acted like a boy, etc. but i also doubt my masculinity because while i do have a connection to it, my internalized dislike for men due to built-up trauma and the fact i'm not percieved as masculine enough to be able to pass as a man in any capacity makes me bitter and upset.

i feel like i can't be a man here because no one would ever look at me and accept me as one. i'm not masculine enough to be liked by other boys or included by them. hell, nobody even uses masculine pronouns or terms for me simply because i look like a girl or am just assumed to be one bcuz of the way i just exist as a person so they will just automatically do that despite me asking for people to do otherwise.

but the thing is, i don't want to fit in a box and i realize i never wanted to. i just want to be me. i want to be comfortable with being any gender. i want to be able to love and be attracted to all genders equally all of the time without it fluctuating constantly. i want to be able to go on shopping and throw sleepovers with my girl friends. i want to go to arcades and play pinball for hours with my guy friends. i want to go to random pottery classes and make cool cups with my non-binary friends. i want to be and love everything.

and i know that maybe i shouldn't care. maybe i should give it time. i mean, i'm only about to be sixteen but why should i if i don't have to? when i discovered shifting and figured out that i could be who i wanted to be, i nearly cried tears of joy. because now i can do these things and allow myself to do them without judgement. i can be a boy and a girl and non-binary. i can comfortably fit into all categories without feeling like i'm not enough.

i can use all pronouns without feeling like i'm restricted to specific ones. i can have a concrete sexuality that i'm comfortable with. i can call myself whatever the hell i want and actually believe it and feel comfortable. i can be myself. and this is a big reason why i shift.

shifting opens up so many possibilities for me that i never thought i'd be able to have and it just makes me so happy that its damn near overwhelming. knowing that i could have everything i want just. now i'm about to cry, let me shut up. but anyways thank y'all for reading this and to anyone who relates, know you're not alone and i'm here for you! <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita/wibta for NOT breaking up with my bf ?

i'm not sure if the title is phrased weirdly, bare with me. my bf and i are both 18, he is cis M & i am FTM (relevant).

My bf and i are both currently in first year uni, both living at home due to high cost of living in our country (also everywhere else lol). We met about halfway through highschool, and were friends for a while before getting together. we are coming up on two years together in a couple months, and have not really had any major bumps in our relationship. we see eachother i would say 1-2x per week, with both of us living at home and being broke it gets a little challenging sometimes but we call most nights and generally we make it work. Also worth noting that I am my bf's first everything, down to his first kiss, while he is not really this for me. this is the longest relationship i have been in (probably because i'm 18 lol), but not at all the first. however, the only "serious" relationship i have had outside of of him, aside from just casual stuff, was very abusive & toxic, so i do sort of see us on equal footing as neither of us has ever been in a normal, functional relationship before.

Now, the issue: while we are both currently living at home, i see this as a very temporary arrangement and something i am counting down the days until i can get out of. while living with my family is not abusive or anything, it is just very straining as i am not very close with them, and also cannot transition while living at home. as previously mentioned i am ftm, and while my mom is tolerant it would just put even more stress on the relationship if i were to start changing physically while living at home or even asking her to use different pronouns for me and is just something i prefer to leave until i'm not 100% reliant on her. that being said my dysphoria causes me very intense depression and without getting too detailed, i don't know how much longer i can take living here and putting off any sort of meaningful transition outside of close/online friends calling me he.

my bf, however, plans to live at home at least until he graduates, which is six years away. i understand that this is a very normal thing, especially culturally (he is middle eastern + muslim, i am white + agnostic), but the issue is that his mother is, among many other things, extremely homophobic. she already hates me for reasons i'm not really sure of (my bf refuses to go into detail, i think to protect me, but i have seen extremely graphic and nasty texts about me by name on his phone and have been told by him that he doesn't even mention me around the house or else she gets extremely upset, though she is always extremely nice to me the few times we have interacted), but anyways, me transitioning while he is still living at home would be essentially putting him in legitimate danger.

my bf does not like to think about this, which i understand. it's hard enough dealing with what i get from my family, and that is absolutely nothing compared to the fact that everyone he knows from his culture/religion beleives he should be dead just because he is gay (i know, as does he, that there are queer muslims. but they do not exist openly in his personal community). but the problem is that anytime i adress to him that the idea of waiting until we are in our mid-twenties for me to even think about transitioning is a really big issue for me he basically refuses to talk about it and just says that "it will work out". on top of the transitioning thing i just generally don't want to be twenty-five (the age he has told me is when he plans to move out) and still having to cancel dates last minute because my boyfriend's mom was in a bad mood and decided he's not allowed to go out tonight. i know this is how life is for many people and they learn to deal with it! and i respect them very much! but it is genuinely my nightmare. i understand why he cannot/does not want to cut himself off from his family, especially since his dad lives overseas and is extremely wealthy so therefore paying his entire tuition out of pocket. i'm just saying it's not a lifestyle that meshes well with my future plans.

this is where the asshole part comes in: my bf genuinely thinks that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. this started with small comments, things like alluding to the idea of our potential future kids (i love kids and raising my own is genuinely my end goal in life, something he knows just because i am very open about it), or talking about our future apartment/house, but now is basically just a constant conversation in our relationship. i try not to feed into it, but i also feel badly responding to his sweet comment when i point out a house i like on the street about how we'll buy it one day with something about how i don't ever see that happening. i generally just respond neutrally, but i will admit i get caught up in the fantasy sometimes and contribute to it as well.

he is such a lovely guy with a beautiful heart and i do really adore him, and it's not a situation where i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. to be honest, that's the dream. i love him with everything i have and i would literally do anything for him. the problem is just that when he talks about this future together all i can picture is all the million ways our relationship is doomed to implode.

but we are happy right now, because me moving out of my family home is not something that is going to be possible for another 1-2 years, so none of those issues are something that are going to come up right now. i just forsee them being pretty much impossible obstacles between us and spending the rest of our lives together down the line. but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that even though i want more than anything to be with him forever, the fact that i don't remotely beleive it's something that will actually work out still constitutes as leading him on.

so, am i the asshole for staying with him, because we are happy right now and these issues are not going to be relevant for another 1-2 years, and a solution might somehow present itself in that time? or is the right thing to do to just leave now, and rip off the bandaid?

What are these acronyms?

[jemmo]

ok i was too exhausted to talk about i hear the sunspot last week so now i have 2 weeks worth of ranting saved up and i can feel the tidal wave coming.

edit: i had to add a read more bc this turned into the messiest, most tangent-filled rant. tl;dr idk i just like it

and first off i wanna semi-respond to some discussion ive seen around the show with regards to pacing, that its slow, its frustrating etc. and the extent of my response is... yeah. well, not just yeah. its not that i agree or disagree, its more that i dont have a way to respond that is unbiased or removed from my personal opinion bc i love the show a lot. if i totally detached and looked at it, yeah, maybe i'd think that way. god knows ive said the same thing for many, many other shows and funnily enough its usually one of my least favourite things. at least, i thought it was, but now that i think about it...

ok this is gonna be a tangent but ive now been watching bl and been in the bl space for over 3 years (wow, how did that happen?) and i think its really interesting to think about, and i'd love to hear from others as well, how my taste in bl has changed. what i like, what i dont like, what i value in a show and how much i am willing to invest in or engage with a show. before i got to bl, i was very much looking for bl content. even when i was younger, i was always trying to find queer content and it was usually european, and then in my anime phase i watched all the bl anime, and that led me to cherry magic blah blah you dont need to know the rest. but at that point i was very much hungry to just see queerness on screen. and i mean explicit queerness, not necessary sexual, just like dating and kissing and explicit same sex relationships. and i think in that haze and the height of hyperfixation i watched many shows that i probably wouldnt have the patience to now. i watch a lot less bl now, maybe bc im more busy with work, maybe bc bl is actually getting worse idk, or maybe i just dont have the effort the engage with something when i dont like it, or it just doesnt interest me. and speaking of what i do and don't like, i feel like this lack of patience has also come with this gradual change in what i want for the show. i know bl now, i know its out there, i know more and more is being made every year, im not in short supply of explicit queerness anymore. so now i can be more picky. if i find myself getting bored watching a show, i just wont watch it. and also bc ive been watching bl for years now, i feel like i am developing what my taste in bl is, and thats not exactly something i can describe, for me its more a i know it when i see it kinda thing. thats why i try a lot of shows out but am happy to drop them after a couple of eps when i know i dont vibe with them.

and with shows i dont drop, they usually fall into 2 categories; im actually enjoying it or im just waiting around to see where this goes. and to call myself out, bc of all these things i think it means that im... well, not less critical, but less able to be unbiased when watching a show i do like, bc hey this is the one show out of 10 going on this month that im obsessed with, of course im not gonna be critical of it. and thats not to say i should be critical of i hear the sunspot, more that im not bc my bias and taste just makes me like it. all the things people think are its flaws that i see with other shows, i just dont see, or dont care about, bc i just like it. and thats me with the pacing. in any other show i would probably be bored and impatient. but for me, bc of so many other things, bc of what theyve done with characters in the mean time, bc i just like these characters a lot, the way they interact, the way they think, the whole vibe of the show and what it says, im just not bothered by it. its not an issue to me. and thats my tangent on personal taste and how youre allowed to just not think that a show has flaws when you like it even if other people think its flawed and youre equally critical of other things but anyway.

back to i hear the sunspot. i dont know why i love this slowburn and lack of communication but i just do. maybe its bc the show doesnt feel rushed. ive been frustrated so many other times when shows wait until the final ep for the couple to get together, which im guessing this show is doing, but thats usually bc nothing else about the show is engaging me so it feels like im being left waiting. i dont feel like im left waiting here. here, i feel like everyone as a character is being valued and whatever time i spend with any of them, i love it. i dont find myself waiting until kohei and taichi get a scene together like i have with other shows bc everything else, everything with them individually, everything with maya, with taichi's friends, idk what else to say i just love it all. and that shows bc i cried just as hard at the scene with maya as i did at the scene with kohei and taichi.

and now for just some fave bits, starting with maya. i just love her. people were so ready to be annoyed with her and pick her apart, but i cant scream enough about how amazing it is that the show introduced a female antagonist and managed to, in my eyes anyway, turn her into someone i liked and felt for and just enjoyed watching. finally, a female antagonist that wasnt just disposable after she served her purpose. and whats better is that what we come to learn about her recontextualises her actions when she was first introduced. i just know upon a rewatch that when i first see her acting out and being mean to taichi, i might still be mad at her, but ill also see a girl that is struggling to make it look like she is fine, someone who is trying her hardest to make it appear that she doesnt try at all, that shes fine, shes no burden to anyone, that this huge thing that is scary and difficult to deal with, shes fine with, bc shes just that good, no biggie. that need to make it all seem casual, to not show weakness, is even exactly why she got mad at taichi in the first place, bc she thought he wasnt trying, he was just doing things casually and he was ok with letting people know he wasnt perfect. he didnt take perfect notes and that was ok, he was still trying his hardest. thats like the exact opposite of maya's mindset to be perfect but make it look like shes not trying. and i think that clash was a great thing to add to the show, and so rewarding when taichi finally hit the nail on the head and told her she didnt have to try so hard, that its ok to let, or even make, other people make the effort. its not sympathy or pity, its kindness.

and now for taichi and kohei. there was just so many things that i loved, the scene of kohei cutting onions with his mom, the whole montage in the classroom going through the highlights of taichi taking notes for kohei, the whole vibe at the end where it was never explicitly said but you just knew it was taichi's last day. and i adore the way that kohei didn't ask questions when taichi told him about dropping out, he just had that faith in taichi, there was nothing to question, he believed that whyever it was, whatever it was for, taichi had thought about it and made the decision and that was enough. instead he just talks about taichi, how hes amazing, making him feel good about himself so he can feel both confident in his decision and whatever he does next. and as for taichi, i know we all wanna know why he cant just say he likes kohei and get it over with, but i dont think thats the right sentiment to bring to the show, or at least not the one i have. whatever it is, i just dont mind, bc to me taichi is a person and if he cant bring himself to say it now or doesnt want to or doesnt think its the right time, thats fine. thats the kind of energy gives me anyway, that i shouldnt be pressing these characters for a reason. its similar to how the show doesnt feel rushed, its like im fine if taichi doesnt say it bc theres no deadline, you say your feelings when youre ready and want to and thats just up to him and im not here to rush him, neither is the show. it just gives him the space to figure things out and make his mind up and decide when the time is right, when he isnt on rocky ground with yknow new people being mean to him and making him doubt himself or questioning what he wants to do with his life and taking on something new - like if taichi is overwhelemed by all of that, its fine. and i can hear the argument oh show us that and like yeah, as i said for any other show id say that too but here i dont care. taichi not saying his feelings can be for any reason you want to come up with, the show doesnt need to give us one, nor do we need one to accept he hasnt done it, but also if you want a reason, theres more than enough to draw from the show to come to your own conclusions. that kinda sounds like the most pretencious defence of a show thatsputting off a confession for the final ep but hey its what i think and i vibe with that thinking so there.

honestly, what i feel about this show is that it didn't need to be a bl for me to watch it, bc i adore everything about it that id watch it even if it was just bromance or even pure friendship, but the fact it is that bc its a bl, because it has that romance, it makes it better. and maybe thats why im not bothered by the pacing, bc im not waiting for the bl moments, im just enjoying the show for what it is, for the story its telling, for the characters its created and the message its conveying. and god if i think about it ending next week i will bust a cry so for now, we live in denial.

[sethshead]

Another disconcerting element of “Queers for Palestine” is that it popped up in prominent left-wing anti-Israel/pro-Palestine rallies in the immediate aftermath of Hamas’s terrorist attacks, before Israel had the chance to respond. As such, there is no way to interpret this slogan and the surrounding leftist fervor except as a signal of support not merely for Palestine, but specifically for Hamas, the jihadist movement with the explicit aim of eradicating the state of Israel. It's imperative to understand that Hamas, as detailed in its 1988 Covenant, is propelled by a fundamentalist Islamist ideology with the goal not only of eliminating all Jews but also conquering the world — just like ISIS. Senior Hamas official Mahmoud al-Zahar was recorded saying, “The entire planet will be under our law, there will be no more Jews or Christian traitors.” Western support for Hamas, under the guise of Palestinian liberation, overlooks the deep-seated radical Islamist ethos driving the organization, which, if unbridled, would jeopardize the very freedoms cherished by LGBT people across the developed world. Anyone who doubts this should try being gay, bi, or trans in most of the Middle East and North Africa’s (MENA) Muslim-majority countries. Virtually all of these nations have laws that criminalize homosexuality and being trans, some of which carry the death penalty​​. Human Rights Watch’s "Everyone Wants Me Dead" report succinctly encapsulates in its title alone the perilous environment faced by LGBT individuals in these regions​. [...] The aftermath of the 1979 Islamic Revolution in Iran is a harrowing tale of leftists being tortured and executed en masse by the very Islamic regime they supported for the sake of their anti-imperialist goals. Many Iranians who aligned with leftist organizations supported the revolution only to find themselves persecuted by Islamists they helped put in power. Immediately following the revolution, the new regime led by Ayatollah Khomeini began systematically oppressing LGBT people and publicly executing them by the thousands. These atrocities were justified as a means to "eliminate corruption" and prevent the "contamination" of society. Between 4,000 to 6,000 gay, lesbian, and bi people have been executed since the 1979 Islamic Revolution​​. Iran’s legal system, rooted in Islamic law, criminalizes consensual sexual relations between same-sex individuals, with penalties ranging from lashes to death. Iranian law does not distinguish between consensual and non-consensual same-sex intercourse, allowing authorities to prosecute both perpetrators and victims of sexual assault​.

But I've been told by queer activists that criminalized, illicit sex is hot, and that gay men in the Muslim world therefore have the best and most sex of anywhere. Given that frequent, anonymous, and risky sex is to those activists the high point of LGBTQ liberation, gay men in Gaza and Iran are thus freer than they are in the US. It is truly Michel Foucault's world, and we are all just living in it.

Back in reality, however, Navabi places his finger on a core part of the "Queers for Hamas" problem: the flattening of all conflicts into a single perceived intersectional struggle between power and the lack thereof. Motives, histories, local considerations, ideological incompatibility - all of these can be replaced by the imposition of provincial Western issues on very different peoples, ideas, needs, and lives. None of the individual conflicts and movements embraced by intersectionality discourse are allowed to breathe on their own, to have their own particulars respected. Instead it all becomes one vast, undifferentiated, vague liberation kitsch using the same prefabricated slogans and jargon. "How is that not its own form of small-minded, white-man's-burden, Western colonialism", you may ask. And you would be right.

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Mike Wheeler, quick to defend Will but not El

No cause it's crazy that Mike didn't hesitate to stand up to bullies talking shit about Will in his absence, but when bullies started surrounding El with a camera, clearly about to humiliate her Mike just stood there. (As did Will, but to be fair we never see Will stand up to bullies. But he did aid El earlier when her diorama was broken).

Yeah, Mike was already upset that she lied, but she lied about having friends due to her insecurity. If my s/o lied about something like that to me, I wouldn't be that upset... I would be empathetic and try to help them feel comfortable by talking about my own experience with bullies and not fitting in at school... which leads me to ask once again WHY do people still ship Mileven??😭 They are not good together! I've been an advocate for El being single and learning how to be independent from Mike and men in general because there have been so many men with power over her her whole life who've dictated everything she does- INCLUDING Mike, and as much as I love him as a character, he is such a bad boyfriend to El!!!

(I saw a gif earlier of Mike saying this paralleling Brenner but can't find it anymore ughh)

Anyways, off of this tangent, Mike being upset and passive aggressive and overall unhelpful to El after she is humiliated is because he's actually upset with Will and therefore cannot be bothered by El's issues - which is entirely fucked up. Like bro that is your GIRLFRIEND. Just like you said to Will...

She's your girlfriend but you sure aren't taking your boyfriend duty that seriously... you didn't even want to talk to her after she got humiliated in front of her classmates. Everyone is focused on your quietly sulking ass at the dinner table, but you didn't even go through the brunt of the problems your girlfriend and best friend did (as far as we know, we don't see any major struggles Mike is going thru prior to season 4 --besides the hellfire club stuff--unlike El's bullying and Will's struggle with queerness. Those of us who aren't the GA know that Mike not writing "Love" is likely an internal issue with him falling out of love with El/struggling with his queerness). Like Will is initially upset at El because she keeps lying to Mike about her status and he's also mad about Mike not reaching out to him. El is mad at Will for telling the truth and also at Mike for not standing up for and helping her/probably for being scared of her and rubbing her mistake (hurting Angela) in her face "What did you do?!"/for him not saying he loves her. Basically, El has multiple reasons to be upset at Mike. And Mike's upset at Will for not reaching out/"being a douche" to El/for thinking that he should be a top priority along with El. He is also upset at El for lying, although he expresses anger at Will for not telling him about El's lying even though he didn't even know about the lying. In Mike's eyes, he isn't doing anything wrong even though he is a big subject of both Will and El's insecurities. So why is he sulking? If anything, El should be the one allowed to sulk and get the sympathy/empathy. But she doesn't, and Mike acting like the victim of this whole situation in this scene sends El over the edge.

I honestly love this scene because she had every right to be mad at Mike. And I'm not trying to let Will off the hook here, but he was trying to be noble by clearing any lies before they went too far, although they went too far anyway. He also has every right to be upset at Mike (as far as we know, because Will mentions that Mike didn't reach out which leads us to believe that the reaching out was one-sided)

Note: I haven't done a season 4 rewatch yet so correct me if I'm wrong about anything. I only rewatched the rink fight and Byers dinner scenes for this post!

[alpaca-clouds]

The Question For Queer Representation

2024 surprises me in so far, that we finally seem to have reached the point where we can talk a bit more clearly about the question of queer representation.

Now, this seems to be a topic where we still very much see the difference between younger people within the community and older ones. Because the conversation is mostly driven by millenial and Gen X queers - while some of Gen Z and younger will still often insist on needing "Good Representation".

But I thought towards the end of this year's strange Pride Month, in which there was so little pinkwashing, I want to talk about this a bit. Even though I have spoken about this before.

Finally Some Toxic Gays

During those laIst two years something has happened. Not only did we see a sharp increase of queer representation in media, but we also got a lot more diverse queer representation. There is still a lot of cute and fluffy stuff, but also a lot of shitty and toxic gays with tons of bad habbits, that never the less are allowed to be the protagonists or otherwise important characters in their stories.

I took some characters I could think off in the picture above. And yes, I will admit, that I am mostly watching animated stuff, which shows above. Mostly because the more fantasy-oriented stuff tends to be animated. And yes, also because animated stuff is somehow a lot more openly queer.

But we got quite a lot either toxic, unhealthy or otherwise "problematic" gay characters. Be it those who betray their partners, or those who are abusive (Lestat in IWTV, Malcolm in Captain Laserhawk). Be it people who gaslight and manipulate (like both Carmilla and Olrox from Castlevania). Or be it those survivors of abuse, who have developed a lot of toxic coping mechanism (like Angel Dust or Astarion).

And I really got to say: This is good. It is actually good. At least in the context that it appears in now.

Gays Don't Need To Be Perfect

Now, it should be noted that of course - especially here on tumblr - quite a lot of people have complained about this. Like there are several blogs about each of the characters above and how they are horrible and the worst thing to happen to queer representation ever and such. As well as people who ignored several trigger warnings at the beginnings of episodes, only to then complain about being triggered. (This showed so very much with Hazbin Hotel Episode 4. Because that episode had a Trigger Warning.)

The one I found most interesting in terms of the anti-discourse was Astarion, though, probably. Because a lot of the discourse about him - outside being a toxic queer man - was also very much about how he was not a perfect victim. Sure, they did also complain about the other stuff and did not use the words "perfect victim", but it was surely implied in some blogs I saw. Basically using both the entire story with the Gur and his learned toxic behaviors to say: "He is not only bad queer representation, but also bad for sexual abuse/sex trafficking survivors." Which... is of course ironic, given that especially in terms of the latter he is a lot closer to reality than any innocent honey-bu would be.

And this is a big thing. See, here is the thing: In the real world, a lot of queer folks are messy. Because a lot of us are traumatized from the queerphobia that is so very present in society. So many of us have been abused for our queerness by parents, classmates and teachers. A lot of us do have mental health issues - and statistically we are also more likely to be neurodivergent to begin with. So many of us have learned quite a few bad coping mechanisms.

So, yes... This is just something that is fair to depict as well. Because the world is not that easy, if we are honest.

The Numbers Game

Now, if those shows and games had come out 10 years ago, I might have well deriled them as well. Not just because I was a lot younger then and had a very different idea of what made for good representation, but also because the numbers out there were different.

10 years ago, we barely had any queer representation. And back then, yes, it was very, very noticable to a lot of folks that most queer characters we got to say, were either shown to be shitty people, or would simply die or have a very miserable storyline with a lot of death and such things.

I will remind you: The Korrasami reveal, that was so important for studios/channels/services realizing that actually they could get away with a lot more than they had previously thought, happened in December 2014. The finale of the first season Steven Universe, where we got the Ruby/Sapphire reveal, happened a bit later in 2015.

Again, yes, those are animated examples, but... Well, it did not look better in terms of live action shows. While those (due to having older audiences) might have had their token queer character, this character often was either a stereotype, died, or was living a miserable life with no resolution.

And now? Well, now we can have the toxic gay vampires - be they named Lestat, Olrox, or Astarion - and we also can have sweet, fluffy queer representation in other shows, like Heartstopper. And it is good to have both of them. We deserve both.

The Missing Rep

I wrote an essay last year about this, but because tumblr's search is shit, I cannot find it again. So I will just put this out here again. Because I noticed an issue here - and you should notice the same issue if you look at the picture above.

The toxic queer characters right now are very much mostly men. Partly, because gay and bi/pan men make up a very large part of queer representation, especially in adult media. While I can name you quite a few fluffy, kidfriendly shows with lesbian or bi/pan female characters, the adult media often focuses more on queer men. And even if there are queer women, those are often a lot more wholesome, compared the men.

I mean, I think that Euphoria (which I don't watch) focuses more on queer young women, who are kinda shitty, but... Yeah, exceptions to the rule.

Now, we can speculate why this is. I personally still think that part of it has to do that sapphic women are seen as more innocent for several reasons. For one, we tend to portray women as more passive and innocent either way than men. But also, there is the fact that especially sapphic women are seen as a lot more innocent in total, because "they don't have real sex" (according to some people). As there is still the stigma that sex needs to involve at least one cock to be real sex.

And yeah, it should be noted that of course all the other types of queer representation are still lacking especially in Western media. We have little in terms of trans representation (especially trans men are super underrepresented), basically no intersex representation, and aroace representation is also quite lacking.

Conclusion

I think right now, we are making really good strides when it comes to at least certain types of representation. We get to see queer charactres in so many shows, movies, and games right now. Not to speak of books and comics. And this is good. No, not all the representation is perfect, but given that we get quite a lot it does not need to be.

No, having characters be toxic, depressed or otherwise not perfect does not make them bad representation. Because there are a lot of toxic, depressed and otherwise not perfect queer people in reality. And that deserves to be represented as well.

Yes, we need more representation of certain groups of queer people. Again: Trans folks, especially trans men, intersex people and aroaces do deserve more representation. Both the fluffy kind and the dramatic bitch type.

But... I really think folks need to stop complaining when queer characters in media are not perfect. It is okay for them to not be perfect. Real queer people are not either.

[luxlightly]

Reading comprehension and literary analysis 101: Interpretation vs Intent vs Readings

So, after making my post about the two headed calf poem, there's been pretty extensive argument in the notes about whether or not "all interpretations are valid". The main issue causing the argument is that what we're taught (at least in the American school system, which is what I have the most knowledge of) about "interpretations" is extremely lacking if not outright false. Here, I'm going to break down what an interpretation is and how it differs from author intent, opinion, and "readings".

The first and most important thing to remember about discussion of basically any field of study is that it is meant to have a use. We learn things in the American school system to answer questions on tests, not to utilize the knowledge.

It's a bit like learning how to hold a screwdriver but never being explained that you can use it to tighten screws. You use tools for a purpose, be they physical tools or intellectual. Sure, you could use a screwdriver to hammer in a nail, but it's not going to be as effective and may even hinder your progress.

Literary analysis is also a tool. We use it to extract meaning from works and to expand our understanding of topics, of other people, of ourselves, and of the world around us. An analysis that gives a false impression of these things is, like the screwdriver being used as a hammer, not helpful and even actively hindering.

Understanding that, we should understand these facets of literary analysis, using the short example story.

"Steve eats 10 apples every day. Bob hates Steve."

1: The text

This is the exact words as they appear. Many times, the only thing we are presented with when we read a piece of literature is the text itself. This can limit our understanding significantly.

2: Context

The physical, cultural, emotional, and historical circumstances in which the work was written

3: Intent

What the author, at the time of writing, intended for the audience to understand the piece to mean

4: Interpretation

A deduction about what the piece means, what can be gathered from it, and what significance it has, based on evidence from the text.

5: Reading

A reading is an interpretation of the text through a certain cultural lens (ie: a queer reading, a feminist reading).

6: Opinion

A purely subjective judgement of the quality of a work based on individual preference

So the text of our piece is "Steve eats 10 apples every day. Bob hates Steve."

From only that, we can make any number of interpretations, supported in varying degrees by the text.

Interpretation 1: "Bob doesn't like that Steve eats so many apples." While the text does not directly tell us that Steve's enjoyment of apples is related to Bob's dislike, it's a reasonable jump of logic to make since his eating of apples is mentioned just before the statement about Bob's dislike for him.

Interpretation 2: "Bob hates apples". This is more of a jump from the text than the first, but could still be defended. We know Bob hates Steve and we know Steve eats apples. It could be argued that it's the apples Bob really hates.

Interpretation 3: "Bob likes oranges". This interpretation isn't supported by the text at all. It doesn't help us better understand the text. As a tool, it serves no purpose. Is it "valid" in the sense that you're allowed to believe it's true? Sure. But it doesn't function as the tool it's intended to be and therefore isn't useful to discussion of the piece.

Which brings us to Context.

Let's say this piece was written during the Great Apple Famine where only the very richest people could afford apples and we know the author grew up very poor during this period of time.

This changes how we understand the piece. It would be understood instantly by those reading the piece at the time of writing that Steve must be very rich to afford so many apples. It would not have needed to be stated outright in the text because the context in which it was written was the same in which it was being read.

Knowing that now, it changes what our interpretations may be. Bob may hate Steve because he is wealthy. Bob may hate Steve because he is jealous of his wealth or of the apples themselves. It could be a statement on greed. Or it could still just be about apples. But our toolbox for understanding and gaining meaning from the work has expanded significantly.

Intent:

We rarely get to know exactly what an author's intent for a work is, especially an older work where the author is no longer alive. Many interpretations, therefore, are attempts to understand the author's intent. However, they don't need to be and, in fact, can often be more useful when they are not.

For example, there's an interesting message in our example story about how the excessive displays of wealth of the rich leads to resentment from the less wealthy and how scarcity is a constructed state. These interesting interpretations help us better understand the world and other people.

But let's consider, then, that, shockingly, the author's actual intended message was "Bob likes oranges", something we've established is not evident in the text or particularly useful to discussion of the work. The author is just not good at writing.

In this case, we actually come away with something more meaningful and useful to us when we do not focus on the author's intent. Intent gives us more context for the piece, but is not the end goal of literary discussion.

A reading often entirely and purposefully discards author intent and instead identifies and recontextualizes the text through a specific lens.

For example, let's do a quick religious reading of the text.

"Apples are symbols of original sin in the Christian Bible. We can therefore read Steve as representing one who frequently engages in sinful activity and Bob as being distainful of him for his sinfulness."

It's important to remember that readings like this often are fully aware they are not the intended original meaning of the work. They're just another tool. For example, this reading might help us understand how, even without meaning to, the author may associate apples with sin or negativity. What does that say about the use of that symbolism in our society and how inescapable it is? Or maybe it wouldn't help with that. But the point is that, whether or not it succeeds, it's a tool for better understanding or world and the people in it.

As for opinions, they can't be wrong or right because they are subjective. They aren't judged on any real metric. They can be somewhat helpful in judging a work but ultimately are just a personal feeling. They, unlike interpretation and readings, are not tools for understanding.

So what does this all mean in relation to the two headed cow poem?

If the author's intent is to show how life is precious, even if it's fleeting, does interpreting it as "mankind is cruel to things that are different" really help us in understanding the work and the world around us? If the interpretation contradicts the intent so completely that it's entirely lost, then this new message is what we have to judge and does "mankind is cruel" really tell us anything true about the world or the piece? Or is it just needless pessimism? What does "valid" even mean or matter in the context of literary analysis?

At some point, certain interpretations become counter productive to discussion of the piece. No one can stop you from interpreting something a certain way, but at some point you're using a screwdriver as a hammer and you're just putting holes in the wall.

[the-eeveekins]

While I'm on a roll, I'm going to go off on a little bit of a personal rant (continuing something I mentioned earlier), that's been on my mind due to some comments I've seen made about G-Witch and Sulemio in recent days. I normally try to avoid writing rants like this but this one has been grinding my gears a bit.

Yes, in the grand scheme of queer media, Sulemio's relationship can definitely come across as underwhelming. No one would deny that you can get more explicitly and textually queer stories out there, especially by queer creators. But that absolutely ignores some of the circumstances surrounding the show.

First, it's been made pretty obvious by now that the staff wasn't allowed to be very explicit in their depiction of Suletta & Miorine's relationship. The company that censored an interview and released a tone-deaf statement that their relationship should be "up to interpretation" because a VA said they were married obviously wasn't going to be cool with Suletta and Miorine kissing, saying I love you and getting married on screen. They would've put their foot down well before we got to the ending. And even then the staff did enough to make Suletta & Miorine explicitly married by the end of the show. They found ways around whatever limitations Bandai put into place to try and make Sulemio subtext, and made them a canon couple within the show itself. I get tired of people saying the show didn't explicitly and textually confirm their relationship and marriage because it does, just in a roundabout way via the "sister-in-law" line because they couldn't do it in a straightforward manner.

Seriously, by all accounts, it's not like the people making this show wanted to end Sulemio with "just handholding" and half-assed the relationship, they wanted to do more but couldn't. Just look at how some of the staff members depicted them in the artbook once they were off Bandai's leash: with multiple wedding pictures.

Second, it's actually a big deal that they ended the show married, even if they had to do it in a roundabout way. Yes, the yuri genre is generally going to have more explicit lesbian relationships than what we got with Sulemio, but the yuri genre isn't exactly mainstream. Dedicated yuri anime isn't airing in primetime and ending with the main couple married, it's usually late-night, niche and usually only gets one season that introduces the couple, maybe gives you a kiss, but forces you to finish the story through the LN/Manga. Mobile Suit Gundam is a popular, mainstream multi-media franchise that has been running for 44 years, and G-Witch was airing on prime time. The fact that a mainstream franchise like Gundam aired an anime series that was centered around a queer woman and a sapphic relationship that ended with the couple married is huge, especially considering the legal status of same-sex marriage in Japan. Niche yuri anime airing in the middle of the night can probably get away with a lot more gay content than a mainstream franchise airing in primetime can, especially when the franchise is owned by a bunch of old, conservative dudes.

As an anime fan, it's amazing to see a mainstream animated series like The Witch From Mercury focused around a queer woman and a sapphic relationship (and make it TEXTUAL, not relying on subtext to carry it), especially a series not specifically adapted from a yuri LN/Manga. And as a lesbian and a long time Gundam fan, seeing a major franchise I love like Gundam, that has always been dominated by male characters, air a series focused around a queer female MC and her relationship with another woman is a much bigger deal to me than a lot of random yuri series would ever be.

Reducing Sulemio to comparisons between other queer media or yuri series and how it's "inferior" to those because it lacked certain elements ignores and disregards the unique challenges and situation of The Witch From Mercury, and the way the staff fought to overcome those issues to deliver an explicit sapphic story ending in a married couple.